Generated by All in One SEO Pro v4.9.10, this is an llms-full.txt file, used by LLMs to index the site. # Fuller Life Family Therapy Quality Professional Therapy in Houston Texas at affordable rates ## Posts ### [Therapy Blog](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-blog/) **Published:** March 14, 2012 **Author:** FullerLife --- ### [The Self-Kindness Your Inner Adult Deserves](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-kindness/) **Published:** June 29, 2026 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** Most of us have said things to ourselves we’d never say to a friend. “*Get it together.” “Stop being so weak.” “Everyone else can handle this, why can’t you?*” We call it discipline. It’s actually just cruelty, aimed inward. We talk a lot about nurturing our inner child, and that work matters. But there’s a part of healing that often gets skipped: **the inner adult, the steady, capable part of you** that can hold difficulty without falling apart. This is the part of you that says you can do it and encourages you, it’s a different way to motivate yourself. It starts with self-kindness. ![Two young girls celebrate a birthday: one drinks from a mug that reads 'Kindness brings happiness' while the other sits nearby with a gift bag and party hats.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/19.png) ## **********What Self-Kindness Actually Means********** Self-kindness means treating yourself with the same care and patience you’d offer someone you genuinely care about, especially when things are hard. Researcher Kristin Neff, who has studied self-compassion extensively, ***describes self-kindness as the opposite of self-judgment: instead of attacking yourself when you fall short, you respond with warmth.*** It’s not lowering your standards. It’s refusing to make cruelty the price of accountability. ## **********Do You Have a Cruel Inner Voice?********** If an inner voice of cruelty feels familiar, you’re not alone. Research suggests roughly one in ten people has a distinct, ongoing critical voice in their head. [Dr. David Schnarch](https://www.crucible4points.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/Living_at_the_Bottom_of_the_Ocean.pdf) writes about this in his book *Brain Talk*, describing it as ***“a hostile voice inside your head that encourages you to feel bad about yourself,”*** one that often shows up disguised as helpful or honest, even while it’s tearing you down. Sometimes that voice sounds suspiciously like a parent or authority figure from your past. It’s quite helpful to study how the cruelty shows itself and how it is familiar. Most of the time, this way of relating got wired in to your brain before you had choice. ![3D rendering of an open mouth showing upper and lower teeth with pink gums](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/22.png) ![Woman with curly hair in a yellow shirt shouting into a blue megaphone against a blue background.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/20.png) ## **********The******** Surprising Way to Respond** In *Living at the Bottom of the Ocean*, Dr. Schnarch adds an important piece to this picture: people with this voice are ***“often blind to the Voice’s cruelty until it is pointed out.”*** That blind spot is exactly why it can run unchecked for years, mistaken for honesty or tough love. The way out isn’t to silence the voice through sheer willpower. It’s to actually look at it closely, to map what it says, when it shows up, and whose voice it’s borrowing. When you can see it clearly you’re less likely to let the critic in you run the show. If you can identify when the inner critic shows up, you’ve already started nurturing an inner adult who knows the difference between being encouraged and being put down, and who chooses encouragement on purpose. ## **********What the Inner Adult Actually Is********** Think of your inner adult as the central part of your “self.” Here’s what it looks like: - It is the you that can be clear and flexible at the same time. - You that can breathe even when things are tough. - The inner adult can respond instead of react, and know you’re okay without needing someone else to tell you so. - It’s the part of you that can handle challenging conversations and see things that are hard to see, instead of looking away or shutting down. - It’s the difference between avoiding a hard conversation and walking into it with your feet planted. This part of you isn’t loud, and it definitely isn’t cruel. It doesn’t need to tear you down to get you moving. It’s the quiet competence behind a difficult decision well made, the calm behind a boundary held without guilt, the courage behind facing something you’d rather avoid. Where the critical voice demands and humiliates, the inner adult holds you to something higher **with respect** intact. *That’s the real difference between being encouraged and being put down: one leaves you steadier, the other leaves you smaller.* Play Dr Amy Fuller: The one thing I wish I knew as a teenager ![Joyful close-up of a woman with braided hair and eyes closed, smiling against a pastel pink background, arms crossed over chest.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/14-1024x732.png) ## **********Why Your Inner Adult Needs Nurturing Too********** Most of us spend a lot of energy soothing our wounds and managing our fears, and if we only ever tend to the tender, anxious parts of ourselves, then we forget to feed the part that’s already capable. The part that’s been quietly getting you through things all along goes unacknowledged. Kindness toward your inner adult isn’t a free pass. It doesn’t mean letting yourself off the hook or going easy on growth. It means holding yourself to the same high standard, with the same honesty, and speaking to yourself the way you’d speak to someone you respect instead of someone you’re trying to break down. You can expect more of yourself and still be kind about it. Part of this is remembering you actually have choices. The cruel voice doesn’t just criticize, it narrows the room you’re standing in until it feels like there’s only one way through: push harder, say yes, get it perfect, or fail completely. Your inner adult knows that’s not true. It’s okay to say no, it’s okay to try something and not be perfect at it, and it’s okay to choose a different path than the one the voice insists is the only option. Having choices, and knowing you have them, is part of what makes this part of you steady instead of trapped. ## **How to Nurture Your Inner Adult** Your inner adult grows the same way any capacity grows: through use, recognition, and practice. Every time you self-soothe instead of spiral, every time you hold your ground instead of collapsing into someone else’s version of you, every time you tell yourself the truth instead of the comfortable story, you’re feeding this part of yourself. And the more you recognize it, the more available it becomes when you need it. Here are some simple steps: ###### **Track yourself.** *Notice* when the cruel voice shows up: what does it say, what triggers it, and whose tone it borrows. Hold curiosity around what you notice. Study the voice itself, without judgment, the way you’d study a pattern rather than a verdict. *The goal is to understand it well enough that the voice loses some of its authority over you.* ###### **Soften toward yourself.** Once you notice what the voice says, try this: what would you say to a friend who told you the same thing about themselves? Probably something kinder than what you just told yourself. Say that to yourself instead, and let that be the new standard. ###### **Practice self-validation.** Self-validation isn’t the same as confidence or self-esteem. It’s knowing what matters to you and standing behind it, whether or not anyone else agrees, approves, or even notices. Dr. David Schnarch draws a sharp line between this and what he calls other-validation, where your sense of being okay depends on someone else’s reaction. Your inner adult doesn’t need a verdict from anyone else to know if something mattered or if you handled it with integrity. Kindness toward yourself makes this easier, because it’s hard to validate yourself in a tone you’d use with someone you loathe. ###### **Hold steady in discomfort.** Growth almost always comes with some anxiety attached. Your inner adult isn’t the part that avoids that feeling, it’s the part that can stay present through it without needing to escape, numb out, or demand instant relief. ###### **Build a case for yourself.** The cruel voice keeps its own running record of your failures. Start keeping one for the moments where you showed up as the person you’re trying to be. Write down real moments: “I held that conversation.” “I stayed calm.” “I showed up anyway.” Specific proof is harder to argue with than a feeling. ###### **Give yourself permission to rest.** The cruel voice never says you’ve done enough. When you refuse to rest, you’re often listening to the voice that believes you don’t deserve rest. The inner adult doesn’t run on empty and call it virtue. It knows that coming back steadier tomorrow is worth more than grinding through today. Sleep, laugh, relax and breathe — this is the inner adult taking care of the whole person. ![Woman smiling with arms wrapped around herself while sitting on a sofa in a sunlit living room.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/13.png) ![A peaceful young woman sits with eyes closed, embracing herself in a moment of introspection.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/a-peaceful-young-woman-sits-with-eyes-closed-embracing-herself-in-a-moment-of-introspection.-9486703-scaled.jpg) ## Does Self-Kindness Actually Work? The science on self-kindness is worth knowing, especially if part of you still suspects that going easier on yourself means going soft. Researcher Kristin Neff has spent decades studying self-compassion, and one of her most consistent findings is that **people who practice self-kindness are actually more motivated to reach their goals, not less.** The number one reason people resist being kinder to themselves is the fear that it will make them lazy, but the research tells a different story. *(Link: [Neff, K.D. Annual Review of Psychology, 2023](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35961039/))* In a series of four experiments, researchers Breines and Chen found that people practicing self-compassion after a failure spent more time studying for a difficult test and reported greater motivation to change their weaknesses — compared to those who used self-criticism. **Being kind to yourself after a setback makes you more likely to try again, not less.** *(Link: [Breines & Chen, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 2012](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22645164/))* **People who are kinder to themselves consistently show lower rates of anxiety, depression, and stress,** and self-kindness has been shown to play a protective role in trauma recovery. *(Link: [Neff, K.D. Annual Review of Psychology, 2023](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35961039/))* --- ## ## Where the critical voice demands and humiliates, the inner adult holds you to something higher **with respect** intact. ![Person wearing a chunky striped beige-brown sweater hugs their arms across their chest, looking to the right against a light wall.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/15.png) ## ****A Gentler Kind of Strength**** Nurturing your inner adult requires self-respect, choosing to trust yourself, to back yourself, to be someone you can rely on. It’s knowing in your core that even when life brings you challenges, you can turn toward the difficulty with a friend (you) on your side. The strongest, most mature part of you has probably been there longer than you think. It’s shown up in the moments you didn’t fall apart, the boundaries you held even when it was uncomfortable, the truths you told even when silence would’ve been easier. It doesn’t need fixing. It just needs to be seen, trusted, and given room to keep growing. So today, notice it. Thank it. And let it lead, just a little more. ###### Clinical Director ## [Amy Fuller, PhD](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/ "Dr. Amy Fuller, Clinical Director") ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/FL-Headshout-Round-Amy.png) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/6d17399acfd9b615dcc0b9c59c57e5ae8935bb0c93952030fbf48b72220e0445?s=300&r=g) Amy Fuller PhD Clinical Director Dr. Amy Fuller is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and professional counselor with over two decades of experience specializing in sex therapy, couples therapy, and trauma. She earned her master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Abilene Christian University and her PhD from St. Mary’s University. Dr. Fuller is the founder and Clinical Director of Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, a nonprofit in Houston committed to providing affordable mental health care and advanced therapist training. She is an AASECT-certified sex therapist and supervisor, known for her compassionate and evidence-based approach. Dr. Fuller serves as the Specialization Director for Sex Therapy and Trauma in the Doctor of Professional Counseling program at Kairos University, where she mentors emerging clinicians. With a passion for making therapy accessible and equipping therapists for meaningful, lasting work, Dr. Fuller integrates clinical excellence, spirituality, and cultural responsiveness into every aspect of her practice. 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](https://www.linkedin.com/in/amyfullerphd/) **Categories:** Compassion, Self-Awareness, Self-Care Practices, Self-Development **Tags:** kindness, self-kindness --- ### [Why Self-Compassion Is More Powerful Than Self-Criticism](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/why-self-compassion-is-more-powerful-than-self-criticism/) **Published:** June 26, 2026 **Author:** Shayla Johnson **Excerpt:** At first, this inner critic may seem helpful. You might think it keeps you motivated or pushes you toward success. However, constant self-criticism often does the opposite. **Content:** Many people live with an inner voice that sounds more like a harsh critic than a supportive coach. It says things like: - *You’re not enough.* - *Work harder.* - *Do better.* - *You should have known better.* - *Why can’t you get it right?* At first, this inner critic may seem helpful. You might think it keeps you motivated or pushes you toward success. However, constant self-criticism often does the opposite. Instead of helping you grow, it can increase stress, damage your confidence, and leave you emotionally drained. Let’s take a closer look at the hidden cost of chronic self-criticism—and what you can do instead. **What Is Chronic Self-Criticism?** [![Side profile of an adult woman in a jacket leaning against a wall. Self-criticism.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/side-profile-of-an-adult-woman-in-a-jacket-leaning-against-a-wall.-9926773-683x1024.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/side-profile-of-an-adult-woman-in-a-jacket-leaning-against-a-wall.-9926773-scaled.jpg) Everyone has moments of self-doubt. However, chronic self-criticism is different. It is the habit of judging yourself harshly, focusing on your flaws, and believing that no matter what you do, it is never enough. Over time, this way of thinking becomes automatic. As a result, it can affect your mental health, relationships, and overall well-being. **Self-Criticism Can Increase Anxiety** When your mind constantly tells you that you need to do more or be better, it becomes difficult to relax. Even after reaching a goal, your thoughts quickly move to the next thing you should accomplish. Because of this, you rarely feel satisfied or proud of yourself. Instead of celebrating progress, you stay focused on what is missing. Eventually, this creates ongoing anxiety and the feeling that you are always falling behind. [![An exhausted businessman in a suit struggling with burnout while using a laptop.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/an-exhausted-businessman-in-a-suit-struggling-with-burnout-while-using-a-laptop.-7792752-683x1024.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/an-exhausted-businessman-in-a-suit-struggling-with-burnout-while-using-a-laptop.-7792752-scaled.jpg) **Constant Pressure Can Lead to Burnout** Imagine running a marathon while someone criticizes every step you take. That is what chronic self-criticism feels like. Many people believe they need to be hard on themselves to stay motivated. In reality, constant pressure drains your emotional and mental energy. As time goes on, you may begin to feel exhausted, unmotivated, and disconnected from the things you once enjoyed. Burnout is not always caused by doing too much. Sometimes, it is caused by believing you should always be doing more. **Emotional Exhaustion Makes Everyday Life Harder** Living with a harsh inner critic is emotionally exhausting. Every mistake feels like proof that you are failing. Every setback feels personal. Instead of learning from difficult moments, you may spend your energy feeling ashamed or disappointed in yourself. As a result, there is less room for healing, growth, and joy. **How Self-Criticism Affects Your Relationships** The way you talk to yourself often shapes the way you relate to other people. For example, you may have trouble accepting compliments because you do not believe them. You might fear rejection, avoid being vulnerable, or believe you have to earn love by being perfect. Over time, these patterns can create distance in relationships. The problem is not that you do not care about others. Rather, it becomes difficult to feel safe with others when you do not feel safe with yourself. [![A peaceful young woman sits with eyes closed, embracing herself in a moment of introspection.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/a-peaceful-young-woman-sits-with-eyes-closed-embracing-herself-in-a-moment-of-introspection.-9486703-684x1024.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/a-peaceful-young-woman-sits-with-eyes-closed-embracing-herself-in-a-moment-of-introspection.-9486703-scaled.jpg) **Self-Compassion Builds Resilience** Life is full of setbacks. However, resilience is not about avoiding difficult moments. It is about learning how to recover from them. When self-compassion replaces self-criticism, mistakes become opportunities to learn instead of proof that you are not good enough. Rather than saying, *“I failed because I’m a failure,”* you begin saying, *“This was hard, but I can learn from it.”* That small shift can make a big difference. In fact, people who practice self-compassion often recover more quickly from setbacks because they are not spending all of their energy fighting themselves. **How to Quiet Your Inner Critic** The goal is not to ignore your mistakes. Instead, the goal is to respond to yourself with honesty and kindness. The next time your inner critic shows up, ask yourself: - Is this thought true? - Would I say this to someone I love? - What would a supportive coach say instead? You may be surprised by how much your mindset changes when you replace criticism with compassion. **Final Thoughts** [![Colorful sticky notes with motivational messages on a mirror reflection.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/colorful-sticky-notes-with-motivational-messages-on-a-mirror-reflection.-3831848-683x1024.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/colorful-sticky-notes-with-motivational-messages-on-a-mirror-reflection.-3831848-scaled.jpg) Personal growth does not require shame. You can hold yourself accountable while also treating yourself with kindness. In fact, self-compassion creates lasting growth because it helps you learn without tearing yourself down. The voice you listen to every day matters. So ask yourself: **What would change in your life if your inner voice became a coach instead of a critic?** **Reflection** Take a moment to notice how you speak to yourself. When you make a mistake, what is the first thing you hear? Would you use those same words with your child, your partner, your best friend, or even a stranger? If not, why are they acceptable for you? Healing often begins with changing the conversation you have with yourself. When your inner voice becomes more compassionate, your relationships, confidence, and resilience often begin to change as well. ###### Resident Therapist Shayla Johnson ![Fuller life west affordable therapy in houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-Headshot.png) [Shayla Johnson, LPC-A](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-headshot-19.png) Shayla Johnson Resident Therapist As a professional with a Master of Arts in Counseling and a Master’s in Divinity from the Houston Graduate School of Theology, and licensed as a Professional Counselor Associate, I am dedicated to supporting you in your journey of self-discovery. I firmly believe that the answers we seek are within. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) Mental Health EMDR Art Therapy Self Compassion **Categories:** Counseling **Tags:** anxiety, mental health, self-compassion, self-criticisim, self-kindness --- ### [Self-Care: The Powerful Practice of Creating a Life You Don't Need to Escape](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-the-powerful-practice-of-creating-a-life-you-dont-need-to-escape/) **Published:** May 19, 2026 **Author:** Erin Viramontes **Content:** When people hear the words *self-care*, they often imagine expensive spa days, long vacations, or perfectly planned morning routines. But real self-care is usually much simpler than that. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/qtq80-vDBsN6-1024x768.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/qtq80-vDBsN6.jpeg) Sometimes self-care looks like stretching for five minutes before work. It may look like going to bed earlier. Maybe it’s laughing on a swing at the park like you did when you were a kid. The truth is, self-care does not have to be big to matter. Small, consistent habits can improve your mood, lower stress, and help you feel more grounded in daily life. Research continues to show that everyday habits like movement, sleep, and enjoyable activities play an important role in mental health. At Fuller Life, we believe self-care is about creating space for your mind and body to breathe. More importantly, it’s about creating a life you do not constantly need to escape from. While vacations can be wonderful and restorative, they are temporary. Real wellness comes from building daily rhythms that support your mental, emotional, and physical health all year long. Here are a few simple ways to practice self-care every day. **1. Move Your Body Every Day** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/qtq80-eKRfMp-1024x682.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/qtq80-eKRfMp.jpeg) You do not need an intense workout routine to care for your body. Gentle movement can make a huge difference in your mental and emotional health. Daily movement helps: - Reduce stress - Improve mood - Increase energy - Support better sleep - Lower anxiety Research shows that physical activity can reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression while improving overall mood and brain function. Even short periods of movement throughout the day can help regulate stress levels and increase feel-good chemicals like endorphins and serotonin. The key is finding movement you actually enjoy. That could be: - Walking around your neighborhood - Dancing in your kitchen - Stretching in the morning - Riding a bike - Taking your dog outside - Doing yoga videos at home Even 10–15 minutes of movement can help your body release tension and reset your mind. Instead of asking, *“What workout should I do?”* try asking: **“How would my body like to move today?”** That small mindset shift can make movement feel less like a chore and more like care. **2. Protect Your Sleep Routine** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Sleep.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Sleep.jpg) Sleep is one of the most important parts of self-care, but it is often the first thing people sacrifice when life gets busy. Good sleep supports: - Emotional regulation - Focus and memory - Physical health - Stress management - Mental wellness According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), adults who do not get enough sleep are more likely to experience stress, anxiety, depression, and difficulty managing emotions. Creating a healthy sleep routine does not have to be perfect. Start with small changes like: - Going to bed at the same time each night - Turning off screens 30 minutes before sleep - Keeping your bedroom cool and comfortable - Avoiding caffeine late in the day - Listening to calming music or reading before bed When we honor our body’s need for sleep, daily life can begin to feel more manageable and enjoyable. **3. Remember How to Play** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/qtq80-o44tLW-1024x683.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/qtq80-o44tLW.jpeg) Many adults stop playing because they feel pressure to always be efficient and productive. But play is not just for children. Play helps adults: - Reduce stress - Feel more creative - Improve relationships - Experience joy - Feel emotionally refreshed Research from the National Institute for Play suggests that play can improve emotional resilience, strengthen social connection, and reduce stress levels in adults. Play activates parts of the brain connected to creativity, flexibility, and problem-solving. And the best part? Play does not need a purpose. You do not have to turn every hobby into a side business or a goal to accomplish. Sometimes it is healthy to do things simply because they are fun. That might look like: - Swinging at the park - Coloring or painting - Playing a game with friends - Singing loudly in the car - Trying a new hobby just for fun Giving yourself permission to play can reconnect you with joy, curiosity, and freedom. **Build a Life That Feels Sustainable** Self-care is not about escaping your life. It is about supporting yourself within your life. Of course, breaks and vacations are important. But if you constantly feel exhausted, overwhelmed, or disconnected, your body may be asking for care in your everyday routine. Mental health experts often emphasize that long-term wellness is built through consistent habits, not temporary fixes. Small daily actions can help regulate your nervous system, improve resilience, and reduce the effects of chronic stress over time. Small habits matter because they shape the way we experience daily life. These are not “extra” things to earn after productivity. They are part of living well. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/qtq80-XQOMPB-1024x672.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/qtq80-XQOMPB.jpeg) **Self-Care Is About Consistency, Not Perfection** You do not need a perfect routine to take care of yourself. Self-care is not about doing everything right. It is about noticing what helps you feel healthy, grounded, and connected and making space for those things regularly. Start small: - Take the walk. - Stretch your body. - Go to sleep earlier. - Laugh more. - Swing at the park. Small acts of care matter more than you think. **Fuller Life Family Therapy** At Fuller Life, we believe mental wellness grows through compassion, connection, and intentional care. Therapy provides a space to slow down, take an honest look at your life, and learn healthier ways to care for yourself. Our team at Fuller Life can help you create routines that support long-term wellness and not just temporary relief. If you are ready to prioritize your mental health, our team is here to support you. ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Erin-V-Round-Team-Headshots.png) Erin Viramontes Erin earned a Master of Science in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from the University of St. Thomas in Houston and is a Licensed Professional Counselor-Associate under the supervision of Amy Fuller, PhD, LPC-S, LMFT-S. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/erin/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/erin/) **Categories:** Counseling --- ### [Self-Care in the Time of Crisis](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-time-crisis/) **Published:** June 22, 2020 **Author:** Manet Castaneda **Content:** ### Difficult Times When we face times of personal or global crisis, it can be very easy to neglect self-care due to the different struggles that can arise from this unique situation. It is not uncommon to experience feelings of anxiety, depression, loneliness, confusion, and even anger during this difficult time. Because of this, it is important to deal with these emotions in ways that are helpful and healing. Self- care is one way in which we can deal with difficult emotions and situations. Keep in mind that self-care is what we do (or stop doing) to take care of and improve our mental, physical and spiritual lives. Below are a few ways in which you can practice self-care during this particular situation that we are all facing as a community. ### **Practice [Gratitude](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gratitude-2/)** Practicing gratitude has been found to have a positive impact on how our bodies and minds feel. When we practice gratitude, this stimulates oxytocin in our brains, and this helps relax the nervous system. There are two ways in which we can practice gratitude. The first is to practice gratitude for within, that is to say, being grateful for your life, body, breath, mind, strengths, etc. The second way we can practice gratitude is outwardly by being grateful for others, our pets, nature, resources, and other elements outside of us. ### **Seek Social Connections** During the quarantine, it can be difficult to maintain in touch with others, however it is still important to seek out those connections for support. Having a community or a tribe of people that you can count on can help reduce the feelings of loneliness and isolation. Some ways we can keep in touch during this time is via video phone calls, writing text messages, writing letters, or social media. With any relationship, it is important to be intentional about the type of communication you have, so find ways to be creative with your communication during the time of Corona. ### **Stay Active** Keeping an active lifestyle can keep improve your mood and boost your energy levels. During the quarantine it can be hard to find ways to exercise, so take some time to research various at home workouts that are available on the internet. Find ways to be creative with your workouts, try new forms of exercise that perhaps you have always been interested in. Make it a social activity by including your family members or roommates. Consider making a schedule that fits your daily activities so that you are more likely to stick with it. ### **Seek Help** Lastly, if you find yourself having a hard time with the isolation and the issues that have come up as a result of the quarantine, it is highly encouraged to seek professional help. Many organizations including our own (Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute) are offering tele mental health services. If talking to someone about your struggles is something you are considering, now might be a good time. ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Manet-Castaneda-Fuller-Life-Headshot-scaled-e1631305448934.jpg) Manet Castaneda [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) Mental Health Sex Therapy Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Anxiety & Panic, Anxiety Issues, Covid-19, Depression, Gratitude, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Care Practices, Stress Management **Tags:** anxiety, depression, gratitude, physical well-being, self care --- ### [Self-Confrontation: The Key to Growth Without Shame](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-confrontation-the-key-to-growth-without-shame/) **Published:** April 1, 2026 **Author:** Shayla Johnson **Excerpt:** Self-confrontation starts with self-compassion and self-awareness. In other words, before you can face yourself honestly, you need to feel safe doing it. **Content:** ## What Is Self-Confrontation? Self-confrontation starts with self-compassion and self-awareness. In other words, before you can face yourself honestly, you need to feel safe doing it. When you build self-compassion, you give yourself the ability to look inward with kindness instead of criticism. As a result, self-confrontation becomes a helpful tool instead of something to avoid. ## ********Why Self-Confrontation Feels Hard******** For many people, self-confrontation sounds like judgment or criticism. This is because most of us were not taught how to look within with care. Instead, we were often met with harshness. Because of that, we may avoid looking at ourselves—especially when things feel uncomfortable. However, the same compassion you would give to a friend is the same compassion you can give to yourself. ![A young man making a funny face at his reflection in a mirror against a yellow background.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/a-young-man-making-a-funny-face-at-his-reflection-in-a-mirror-against-a-yellow-background.-8638837-683x1024.jpg) ![Artistic capture of a reflection in a puddle on a wet street in Hội An, Vietnam.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/artistic-capture-of-a-reflection-in-a-puddle-on-a-wet-street-in-hoi-an-vietnam.-9782295-1024x683.jpg) ## ********Creating a Safe Space Within Yourself******** When you create a non-threatening space within yourself, it becomes easier to face hard things. This does not mean the process will be easy. However, it does mean you can sit with discomfort without running from it. For example, you can: - Notice your feelings - Stay present with them - Allow yourself to process without judgment As a result, you begin to build trust with yourself. ## ************What Self-Confrontation Looks Like in Real Life************ Self-confrontation does not always have to be deep or heavy. Sometimes, it looks like small, honest moments. For instance, you might pause after a reaction and ask: - Why did I react this way? - What is underneath this feeling? Then, you take a moment to notice the root and admit what is true. Because of this, awareness and compassion work together. Over time, this leads to growth. --- ## ## Self-confrontation sometimes looks like small honest moments. ## **Self-Confrontation vs Self-Criticism** It is important to understand that self-confrontation is not the same as self-criticism. - Self-criticism says: *“What’s wrong with me?”* - Self-confrontation says: *“What happened here?”* Therefore, one shuts you down, while the other helps you grow. When you stay curious instead of critical, you create space for real change. ## ********A Simple Tool: The RAIN Technique******** One helpful way to practice self-confrontation is the RAIN technique. [![A peaceful scene of meditative yoga practice on a sandy beach.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/a-peaceful-scene-of-meditative-yoga-practice-on-a-sandy-beach.-8534279-683x1024.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/a-peaceful-scene-of-meditative-yoga-practice-on-a-sandy-beach.-8534279-scaled.jpg) RAIN stands for: - Recognize - Allow - Investigate - Nurture First, recognize what you are feeling. Next, allow it to be there without pushing it away. Then, investigate it with curiosity. Finally, nurture yourself with care. Through this process, you can approach yourself with clarity and compassion. ## **Why Self-Confrontation Matters for Growth** Self-confrontation helps you take responsibility for your patterns, behaviors, and actions. At the same time, it allows you to stay kind to yourself. Because of this balance, growth becomes more sustainable. In other words, you are not tearing yourself down—you are building yourself up. ## **Final Thoughts** Self-confrontation is not about being harsh or critical. Instead, it is about being honest with yourself in a kind and caring way. Over time, this practice helps you grow, heal, and show up better in your life. You can face yourself honestly without abandoning yourself in the process. ###### Resident Therapist ## Shayla Johnson ![Fuller life west affordable therapy in houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-Headshot.png) Shayla Johnson, LPC-A ## More articles by our professional therapists about suicidality: - [ ![self-kindness nurturing your inner adult](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/21-768x549.png) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-kindness/) [Compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/compassion-self-care/) | [Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) | [Self-Development](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-development/) ## [The Self-Kindness Your Inner Adult Deserves](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-kindness/) [ Read More The Self-Kindness Your Inner Adult DeservesContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-kindness/) - [ ![A captivating shot focusing on a reflection of an eye in a round mirror with Hamburg skyline in the background.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/a-captivating-shot-focusing-on-a-reflection-of-an-eye-in-a-round-mirror-with-hamburg-skyline-in-the-background.-28241065-768x960.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/why-self-compassion-is-more-powerful-than-self-criticism/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) ## [Why Self-Compassion Is More Powerful Than Self-Criticism](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/why-self-compassion-is-more-powerful-than-self-criticism/) [ Read More Why Self-Compassion Is More Powerful Than Self-CriticismContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/why-self-compassion-is-more-powerful-than-self-criticism/) - [ ![Orange and black butterfly perched on white flowers in a garden setting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/qtq80-vDBsN6-768x576.jpeg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-the-powerful-practice-of-creating-a-life-you-dont-need-to-escape/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) ## [Self-Care: The Powerful Practice of Creating a Life You Don’t Need to Escape](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-the-powerful-practice-of-creating-a-life-you-dont-need-to-escape/) [ Read More Self-Care: The Powerful Practice of Creating a Life You Don’t Need to EscapeContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-the-powerful-practice-of-creating-a-life-you-dont-need-to-escape/) [![Fuller Life Logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Logo-high-res.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) ## **Looking for Affordable Therapy in Houston?** [Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) provides [affordable therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") in Houston for [individuals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/ "Individual Therapy"), [couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/), [kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/), [teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/), [groups](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) and [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) within an [intensive training](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/ "Train with Us") program. With [sliding scale](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") options and five convenient [locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/), care is accessible without compromising [clinical excellence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/ "Our Clinical Outcomes"). We provide specialized treatment with [Somatic EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/somatic-emdr-natural-processing/), [Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-therapy-2/), [Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sand-therapy/), [Art and Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/). [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/)[Our Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/)[Our Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-headshot-19.png) Shayla Johnson Resident Therapist As a professional with a Master of Arts in Counseling and a Master’s in Divinity from the Houston Graduate School of Theology, and licensed as a Professional Counselor Associate, I am dedicated to supporting you in your journey of self-discovery. I firmly believe that the answers we seek are within. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) Mental Health EMDR Art Therapy Self Compassion **Categories:** Counseling, mental health,, Self-Esteem **Tags:** counseling, self-confrontation --- ### [5 Hidden Reasons Your Loved One Won’t Communicate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/five-reasons-your-loved-one-wont-communicate/) **Published:** January 11, 2013 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** When your loved one won’t communicate, it is rarely about words. It is about the capacity to stay present when anxiety rises. Many couples panic when a loved one won’t communicate, assuming the relationship is failing. Most couples assume communication problems are about skills. They are not. They are about how much pressure each person can tolerate without collapsing, attacking, or shutting down. Silence is not indifference. It is often protection. We are wired for connection, but we are also wired to protect our sense of self. When the relationship feels destabilizing, silence becomes a strategy. What we often miss is that silence is shaped by mind mapping, the internal predictions we form about how the other person will respond. ## Here are five common reasons people don’t talk: ### 1. Fear: “If I Say What I Really Think, This Relationship Might Not Survive.” This isn’t fear of the other person “freaking out.” When a loved one won’t communicate out of fear, they are protecting the attachment bond. Many people would rather preserve harmony than risk revealing something that could create real tension. Silence protects attachment — but it also freezes growth. ### 2. Insecurity: “If You See the Real Me, You May Not Choose Me.” When differentiation is low, acceptance feels conditional. So people edit themselves. - They soften their opinions. - They suppress desires. - They withhold grievances. Not because they don’t have them — but because they don’t yet have the solidity to tolerate potential rejection. ### 3. Apathy: “I’ve Already Given Up.” What looks like indifference is often exhausted protest. Repeated attempts to be heard that lead nowhere eventually produce withdrawal. This is not maturity. It is emotional retreat. When someone stops engaging, it usually means they no longer believe the discomfort of trying will lead to change. ### 4. Hopeless Frustration: “You Don’t Get It — And You Probably Never Will.” Underneath repeated arguments is usually the same unresolved issue. Without growth in each partner’s self-regulation, the same conversation becomes a loop. And loops create despair. People stop communicating when they believe nothing inside the system will actually shift. ### 5. Feeling Stupid: “If I Bring This Up, You’ll Fix Me Instead of Understanding Me.” Advice is often an anxiety-reducing maneuver. When someone offers solutions too quickly, they are stabilizing themselves — not joining the other person’s experience. Eventually the message becomes clear: “It’s not safe to bring my inner world here.” [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/canstockphoto92532981-300x224.jpg "canstockphoto9253298")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/canstockphoto92532981.jpg) ## The Real Problem Isn’t Communication Most couples don’t have two speakers and no listeners. They have two nervous systems trying to manage anxiety. When anxiety rises, people either escalate or withdraw. Both strategies protect the self. Neither builds intimacy. In high anxiety moments, most people choose stability over the discomfort required for growth. Communication improves when each person can: - Stay grounded - Tolerate discomfort - Speak clearly without demanding change - Listen without collapsing or counterattacking Most people think shutdown happens because someone is unwilling to communicate. But in reality, shutdown is often a decision made long before the conversation begins. We constantly form mental maps of how others respond under pressure. This is called Mind Mapping. Those maps determine whether we speak or stay silent. ## How Mind Mapping Explains Why Your Loved One Won’t Communicate What makes these five responses so common is something we rarely think about: we are constantly mind mapping each other. Without realizing it, your loved one has formed a mental map of how you respond. If their map predicts you will overreact, dismiss, fix, minimize, or shut down yourself, their brain will naturally tell them not to engage, or worse, lash out. Silence begins to make sense. What looks like apathy or stubbornness is often a prediction system at work. We all decide whether to speak based on what we expect will happen next. This mind mapping process determines whether someone speaks, withdraws, or escalates. ## How Your Response Changes the Pattern The good news is that mind maps can change. When a loved one won’t communicate, the solution is rarely pushing harder. When you respond with steadiness instead of defensiveness, curiosity instead of correction, and listening instead of advice, you give the other person new data. Over time, their internal prediction shifts. They begin to expect safety instead of escalation. Communication improves when the prediction changes. Not because you demand it, but because the nervous system no longer expects harm. When the internal map shifts, the relationship shifts. If you want to understand how to build the kind of inner steadiness that shifts these maps, read our article on [developing a Solid Self in relationships.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/strong-relationships-solid-self/) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/6d17399acfd9b615dcc0b9c59c57e5ae8935bb0c93952030fbf48b72220e0445?s=300&r=g) Amy Fuller PhD Clinical Director Dr. Amy Fuller is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and professional counselor with over two decades of experience specializing in sex therapy, couples therapy, and trauma. She earned her master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Abilene Christian University and her PhD from St. Mary’s University. Dr. Fuller is the founder and Clinical Director of Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, a nonprofit in Houston committed to providing affordable mental health care and advanced therapist training. She is an AASECT-certified sex therapist and supervisor, known for her compassionate and evidence-based approach. Dr. Fuller serves as the Specialization Director for Sex Therapy and Trauma in the Doctor of Professional Counseling program at Kairos University, where she mentors emerging clinicians. With a passion for making therapy accessible and equipping therapists for meaningful, lasting work, Dr. Fuller integrates clinical excellence, spirituality, and cultural responsiveness into every aspect of her practice. [See Full Bio](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) [ ](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) Couples Therapy Healing Trauma Sex Therapy Mental Health Family Therapy EMDR Relationships Mindfulness [ ![social network 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](https://www.linkedin.com/in/amyfullerphd/) **Categories:** Communication, Emotions and Relationships, Gender Differences, Relationships, Sticky **Tags:** Communication, compassion, Empathy, relationships --- ### [Self-Regulation in Relationships: How to Improve Communication and Emotional Control](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-regulation-in-relationships-how-to-improve-communication-and-emotional-control/) **Published:** March 18, 2026 **Author:** Erin Viramontes **Content:** **The Importance of Self-Regulation in Relationships** Most people want to stay calm during difficult conversations. They want to communicate clearly, express their needs, and set healthy boundaries. However, when emotions intensify, many people find themselves reacting in ways they did not intend. For example, you may plan to stay calm during a tough conversation. Yet when someone criticizes you, interrupts you, or pushes your limits, your body reacts quickly. Therefore you may experience racing thoughts, a change in the tone and volume of your voice, or shut down and withdraw from the conversation. This happens because the nervous system is constantly scanning for safety or danger. According to Polyvagal Theory, when the body senses threat it may quickly shift into fight, flight, or shutdown mode. In these states, it becomes hard to think clearly. People may react automatically instead of responding thoughtfully. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/colorful-blog-1024x732.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/colorful-blog.png)Before better communication comes self-regulation This is where self-regulation becomes important. In Crucible Therapy, self-regulation means managing your emotional reactions, feelings, and behaviors without relying on others to soothe you or validate your experience. Instead of reacting, you learn to manage yourself and respond with intention. Self-regulation can be cultivated through three practices: Mindfulness → Responding instead of reacting → Healthy boundaries Each practice builds on the one before it. Together, they help you stay grounded in yourself while remaining connected to others. **Practice #1: Mindfulness** Most importantly, self-regulation begins with awareness. If you cannot notice what is happening inside you, it becomes very difficult to manage your response. Mindfulness is paying attention to your internal experience in the present moment. Instead of ignoring your emotions or rushing past them, you learn to notice them without judgment. For example, mindfulness helps you notice: • Chest tightness • Frustration rising in your thoughts • The urge to interrupt someone • A lump in your throat ![Close-up of a woman with afro hair meditating, eyes closed, embracing wellness and mindfulness.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/close-up-of-a-woman-with-afro-hair-meditating-eyes-closed-embracing-wellness-and-mindfulness.-6931787-scaled.jpg) Without mindfulness, these signals often happen so quickly that you react before realizing what is happening. When you become aware of your emotions and physical sensations, you create a pause between the feeling and sensation and the action. That pause is where self-regulation begins. Even a brief moment of awareness can help settle your nervous system, promote self-compassion, and allow you to think more clearly. **Practice #2: Responding Instead of Reacting** Once you become aware of your internal reactions, you can respond instead of react. A reaction is quick and automatic. It is driven by strong emotion and often happens before the thinking part of the brain has time to engage. A response involves regulation. It allows you to feel your emotions while still choosing how you want to act. Reacting could include: • Raising your voice • Interrupting someone • Blaming the other person • Shutting down during a conversation [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Escape-e1358542953693.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Escape-e1358542953693.jpg)Flight from anxiety-provoking relationships is an instinctive move but perhaps harmful. Responding may look very different: • Taking a slow breath before speaking • Asking a clarifying question • Explaining how something affects you • Pausing to notice your body sensations ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Man-Breathing-e1402421666855.jpg) Responding does not mean ignoring your emotions. Instead, it means holding your emotions without letting them control your behavior. You can experience strong emotions without losing your stability. **Practice #3: Healthy Boundaries as a Form of Self-Regulation** Healthy boundaries are often misunderstood. Many people think boundaries are about controlling someone else’s behavior. However, boundaries are actually about managing your own participation in a situation. When understood this way, boundaries become a form of self-regulation. A boundary communicates your limits around time, energy, and emotional capacity. Setting a healthy boundary could be as simple as: • “I’m not available to discuss this right now.” • “I can’t take on another responsibility this week.” • “If the conversation becomes disrespectful, I will step away.” These statements communicate what you will do to take care of yourself. **How These Skills Work Together** Together, mindfulness, calm responses, and healthy boundaries support each other in a natural sequence. Mindfulness helps you notice what is happening inside you. That awareness allows you to pause and respond instead of reacting automatically. Then you can communicate healthy boundaries that reflect your limits. Over time, this process strengthens emotional stability and increases your capacity to stay steady in difficult moments. Instead of being controlled by your emotions, you learn how to work with them. Conversations become more thoughtful and relationships become more balanced. **Practicing Self-Regulation in Everyday Moments** Self-regulation develops slowly through small moments of awareness and practice. Here is a simple process to try: ***Notice*** First, pause and observe what you are feeling and your body sensations. For example: “I feel scared and I have butterflies in my stomach.” ![teen girl mental health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/stylish-young-woman-in-blue-denim-outfit-sitting-on-sidewalk-with-glass-wall-reflection.-16235093-scaled.jpg) ***Breathe*** Take two or three big and slow breaths to calm your nervous system. ***Reflect*** Ask yourself what you actually need or are looking for in the moment. Your need may be: • More time or a pause in the conversation • Clearer information • Emotional space ***Respond*** Communicate your needs or boundaries calmly. This process may only take a few seconds, but it can completely change the direction of a conversation. **The Long-Term Goal of Self-Regulation** Overall, the goal of self-regulation is not to eliminate difficult emotions. The intention is to stay grounded in yourself while remaining connected to others. Over time, self-regulation allows you to move through conflict, stress, and relationships with more clarity and stability. And ultimately, that steadiness is what supports stronger connections to yourself and others. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/brains-460x3071.jpg) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Erin-V-Round-Team-Headshots.png) Erin Viramontes Erin earned a Master of Science in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from the University of St. Thomas in Houston and is a Licensed Professional Counselor-Associate under the supervision of Amy Fuller, PhD, LPC-S, LMFT-S. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/erin/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/erin/) **Categories:** Counseling --- ### [Feel Overwhelmed? Try a Breathing Space Meditation](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/feel-overwhelmed-take-a-breath/) **Published:** June 11, 2014 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** Our world can feel frenzied. Our minds can feel preoccupied with the many responsibilities and obligations. We may even find it difficult to turn off a constant stream of racing thoughts. The more we tell our minds to stop, the more they race. The constant stream of thoughts can leave us feeling exhausted and mentally numb. A short **breathing space meditation** can help calm racing thoughts and bring our attention back to the present moment. ## **Why Trying to Stop Your Thoughts Often Backfires** How can we begin to slow down our minds and calm ourselves in the midst of the constant list of things that need our attention? What if there is not enough time to add anything more into an already packed schedule? ## **What If Calm Didn’t Require More Time in Your Day?** Mark Williams, professor at Oxford University, suggests a short practice that takes less than five minutes, two to three times a day, as a great place to start. He created his own “Three Minute Breathing Space” as a way to calm and center ourselves even when we are tired, anxious, or stressed. > *“Its impact is twofold: first and foremost, it’s a meditation that’s used to punctuate the day, so that you can more easily maintain a [compassionate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-compassion/ "Self-Compassion") and mindful stance, whatever comes your way. In essence, it dissolves negative thought patterns before they gain control over your life – often before you’re even aware of them. Secondly, it’s an emergency meditation that allows you to see clearly what is arising in from moment to moment when you feel under pressure. It allows you to pause when your thoughts threaten to spiral out of control, by helping you to regain a compassionate sense of perspective and to ground yourself in the present moment.” ([Williams and Penman, 2011](http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Eight-Week-Finding-Peace-Frantic/dp/1609618955/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1402422472&sr=1-1&keywords=mindfulness+finding+peace+in+a+frantic+world "Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World"))* ## **A Pause That Breaks the Cycle of Stressful Thinking** A daily meditation practice is the beginning of lasting change. With each little baby step, we can create new habits and gently train our brain to respond to the stressors in our life with a compassionate and mindful response. ## ****Small Daily Practices Create Lasting Change**** - Fuller Life’s Four Minute Breathing Space - Two or Three times each day - Each day, notice and jot down any differences [Williams, M. and Penman, D. (2011). Mindfulness: An Eight Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World](http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Eight-Week-Finding-Peace-Frantic/dp/1609618955/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1402422472&sr=1-1&keywords=mindfulness+finding+peace+in+a+frantic+world "Mindfulness: An Eight Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World") ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Breath Work, Cognitive Reframing, Self-Awareness, Self-Care Practices, Sticky **Tags:** breath work, compassion, mindfulness practice, Self-Care Practice --- ### [How Often do you Care for Yourself?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-often-do-you-care-for-yourself/) **Published:** January 31, 2019 **Author:** Manet Castaneda **Excerpt:** So, what does actual self-care look like? From a therapeutic stand point, it means taking care of yourself in multiple ways. It can look like eating well, engaging in mindfulness, exercising, or engaging in spiritual practices like mindfulness or expression through religion. In addition to taking care of your physical and emotional health, it is important to attend to the mental aspect of self-care. **Content:** #### Self-Care Sunday The phrase self-care is becoming more and more popular. It is a phrase we hear all over social media or in conversations with friends, and it has even become its own hashtag, ex: #selfcaresunday on Instagram. However, sometimes it is used more as an excuse to self-indulge and less as a practice of \*self-compassion. So, what does actual [self-care](https://www.self.com/story/self-care-sunday-ideas) look like? From a therapeutic standpoint, it looks like taking care of yourself in multiple ways. It can look like eating well, exercising, practicing mindfulness or even engaging in spiritual practices. It can involve making space to spend time with loved ones. In addition to taking care of your physical and emotional health, it is equally important to attend to the mental aspect of self-care.The mental aspect of self-care is an area of ourselves that we can often neglect if we are not being intentional. How often do you take time to sit with yourself to see where your mind is and what is going on? Do you find yourself constantly trying to keep busy or distracted so you don’t have to think? If this at all sounds familiar, then you may want to keep reading to find some ways you can take time to care about yourself on the inside. #### **What does your self-talk sound like?** It is important to make note of how your self-talk impacts your self-care. Consider the following, how kind are you being to yourself as you go about your daily routine? How easy or challenging is it for you to say compassionate things to yourself when you make mistakes? In the wise words of Ru Paul, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you going to love somebody else?” Oftentimes we do not want to take time to notice how damaging a lack of self-kindness can be to our mind. Consider the [R.A.I.N.](https://mrsmindfulness.com/r-n-four-step-process-using-mindfulness-difficult-times/) exercise which can be used as a way of exploring yourself and what you are feeling in a compassionate and non-judgmental way. Self-care is a choice that has to be made on a daily basis. In this life you will constantly face situations in which you will have to choose between being kind to yourself or negate yourself the opportunity to experience kindness in that moment. #### **How do you take care of yourself through adversity?** Part of life includes dealing with the consequences of our choices. We also cannot avoid life’s random accidents which can bring adversity. During these times, how do you deal with yourself and others? How do you respond? Do you engage in self-care or is that the first thing to go out of the window? In the Bible, the author of Colossians 3:12 invites the reader to consider clothing themselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, there is value in noting that the author is asking the audience to consider choosing to live in a compassionate way through all that life can bring. Life is all about how we choose to face it. So, reader, I challenge you to choose to respond to yourself with kindness and compassion on a daily basis, because you already know what the alternative is. If you find yourself at a place where you are already working on these issues, then I commend you for having the courage and strength to practice self-care. However, if you are at a place where you are uncertain about what steps to take, then perhaps consider visiting a counselor who can help you in your journey towards greater self-care. \* Self-Compassion: Recognizing your own pain, suffering or discomfort and then choosing to respond with kindness. Other resources to consider: [Self-Care for the Real World](https://www.amazon.com/Self-Care-Real-World-Practical-self-care-ebook/dp/B06W2KFXKB) [The Practice of Resilience](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/practice-resilience/) [Create & Grow Healthy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/creating-a-better-you/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Manet-Castaneda-Fuller-Life-Headshot-e1515907828284-300x230.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/manet/)Manet Castaneda, Resident Therapist, Fuller Life LOOP and WEST **[Manet Castaneda, LPC-Intern](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/manet/)Resident Therapist** **Supervised by [Amy Fuller PhD, LPC-S, LMFT-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/)** **To schedule an appointment please contact me by email at , by phone at [(832) 981-7690](tel:+8329817690), or through our [webform.](https://cryptnsend.com/flfti/flfti.html)** ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Manet-Castaneda-Fuller-Life-Headshot-scaled-e1631305448934.jpg) Manet Castaneda [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) Mental Health Sex Therapy Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Lifestyle, Mental Health, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Awareness, Self-Care Practices **Tags:** emotional intelligence, mental health, self-awareness, self-care practices, Self-talk --- ### [There's nothing wrong with asking for a little (mental) help](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/asking-for-mental-help/) **Published:** July 21, 2014 **Author:** Scott Rampy **Content:** [![mental help](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/theres-nothing-wrong-with-asking-for-a-little-mental-help-e1405981757892.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/theres-nothing-wrong-with-asking-for-a-little-mental-help-e1405981757892.png) In our culture, when a person has the flu, they go to their doctor. When it is time for a teeth cleaning or when there is a toothache, one goes to their dentist. Many have a go-to mechanic for car trouble. When the refrigerator is empty, people go to their usual grocery store. For these common, anticipated problems people generally know where they will go to get them resolved and have confidence they will be successful. But to whom does one turn when faced with a mental health or relationship challenge? It is much more uncommon for someone to have identified *their* mental health professional or relationship therapist. According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH): - [18.6%](http://www.nimh.nih.gov/statistics/1ANYDIS_ADULT.shtml) of American adults experienced a mental illness in 2012, or 43.7 million people. - Approximately 16.5% of American adults will experience major depressive disorder in their lifetime; - 28.8% will experience an anxiety disorder. The reality is experiencing mental health difficulty is a common experience of life. Depression is sometimes referred to as being the common cold of mental health, yet for some reason many do not seek help. - Only 21.3% of those with major depressive disorder are receiving minimally adequate treatment; - the figure drops to only 14.3% for those dealing with an anxiety disorder. Mental health aside, what parent has not lamented that children don’t come along with user’s manuals? Who in a committed relationship has not at times experienced real testing of that commitment? Despite common beliefs about what a marriage is “supposed” to be like, entering a period of disillusionment is a normal, to-be-expected phase of long-term relationships. But there is no need to suffer through these experiences alone. There is no shame in asking for a listening ear and a helping hand. ## Here are a few action steps you can take today: - PREPARE for the possibility that you or a loved one may one day be in a position to benefit from reaching out to a mental health professional. - RESEARCH mental health professionals in your area. - MEET a mental health professional for a free consultation if available. - IDENTIFY a professional that you feel comfortable turning to if a need ever arises in the future. - ASK a friend or family member if they have ever experienced a mental health challenge or gone to therapy. Is there someone they might recommend? - SHARE with others a positive experience you have had seeking help for a mental health challenge – perhaps on Facebook or Twitter. Normalizing help-seeking may encourage someone to reach out for help in their own challenge. - REMOVE a mindset of shame. One does not have to be “crazy” to seek out mental health help. - DECIDE not to try to cope alone. - - SCHEDULE an annual checkup for your relationship or psychological health. ## Here are a few other articles offering tips on finding a mental help/mental health provider: - [WebMD – “Tips for Finding a Counselor or ](http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/tips-for-finding-a-counselor-or-therapist-topic-overview)[Therapist](http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/tips-for-finding-a-counselor-or-therapist-topic-overview)[“](http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/tips-for-finding-a-counselor-or-therapist-topic-overview) - [Psychology Today – “How to Find the BEST Therapist for You”](http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freudian-sip/201102/how-find-the-best-therapist-you) - [Huffington Post – “Demystifying Therapy: 5 Insider Tips for Finding a Good Therapist”](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/daniela-tempesta-lcsw/how-to-pick-a-therapist_b_4571857.html) - [Mayo Clinic – “Mental Health Providers: Tips on Finding One”](http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/mental-illness/in-depth/mental-health-providers/art-20045530?pg=1) Note: Unfortunately, these articles do not mention Marriage and Family Therapists (LMFT = Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist) among the types of mental health providers. MFTs are most comparable to LPCs (Licensed Professional Counselors). The major difference is that they view issues within a systemic framework (e.g., how a family or couple copes with depression, substance abuse, etc. – not just the individual). They also tend to be more prepared to offer couples and family therapy for relationship problems. However, the license type does not determine the quality of therapy. In fact, many therapists hold both types of licensure. You can find quality treatment from both LPCs and LMFTs. [![Fuller Life Logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Logo-high-res.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) ## **Looking for Affordable Therapy in Houston?** [Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) provides [affordable therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") in Houston for [individuals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/ "Individual Therapy"), [couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/), [kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/), [teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/), [groups](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) and [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) within an [intensive training](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/ "Train with Us") program. With [sliding scale](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") options and five convenient [locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/), care is accessible without compromising [clinical excellence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/ "Our Clinical Outcomes"). We provide specialized treatment with [Somatic EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/somatic-emdr-natural-processing/), [Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-therapy-2/), [Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sand-therapy/), [Art and Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/). [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/)[Our Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/)[Our Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6829-e1631305127874.jpg) Scott Rampy [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) Mental Health Family Therapy Relationships Divorce, Separation, Blended Families **Categories:** Counseling, Mental Health, Relationships, Self-Awareness **Tags:** counseling, mental health, psychological help, therapist, therapy --- ### [Three Simple Ways to Get Yourself Unstuck!](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/getunstuck/) **Published:** October 23, 2014 **Author:** Lesley Anne Mendonça **Content:** At any given point in our lives, there is at least one area where we can feel a little stuck. Sure, there are ‘problems’ that can have a clear, easy solution. And then there are those issues that are much more difficult to solve. These things can be anything from a pattern of feeling low within ourselves to a troubled relationship that just feels stuck! And when we have had enough, the familiar phrase comes flashing through our minds in all caps: “I’M SO TIRED OF FEELING THIS WAY!” We are stuck. So often, the frustration we feel makes it difficult to see any other possibilities beyond our struggle. With this in mind, there are a few tips to help unencumber our hearts by simply paying attention to our hidden thoughts. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a type of therapy that exposes the *powerful* relationship between our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. When even one negative thought cycles through us, it can torpedo us into feelings and behaviors that go on for long periods of time. The distress that often accompanies these unhealthy *imposters* is so often confused as *part of us,* when in fact – it is not. CBT brilliantly exposes these unhealthy thoughts and helps us to replace them with kinder, more helpful thoughts. Though effective CBT is best done with a trained clinician, there are exercises we can borrow from this clever treatment method. ## 1. Become aware of your thoughts For one day, practice writing down some of the thoughts that filter through your mind about yourself and others. This includes both positive and negative thoughts. For example, “I am not as interesting as everyone else, I am boring” or “my boss recognized my work, I am good at my job”. As you begin writing them out, notice what feelings come up within you; then write those down next to the thoughts. To continue with our example, “I feel unvalued and hopeless” or “I feel appreciated”. In this step, your only job is to become aware of your thoughts and how much influence they have on your emotions. {Note: This can sometimes be uncomfortable. However, remember that we grow the most in our discomfort. To become truly unstuck requires courage, so take heart and believe in yourself!} ## 2. Challenge your thoughts Continue the daily process of noticing your thoughts and consequent feelings. In the more troublesome thoughts, begin to challenge them with healthier, more compassionate alternatives. For example, “It is impossible to be found interesting by every human person. Certain people find me interesting, and I enjoy being myself.” This can be applied to our interactions with others, as well. For example, a superior at work is short with us and we automatically believe it is because we are unsatisfactory or disliked. We can challenge this thought with an alternative: “There are a number of factors that can contribute to someone being short with me, many of which might have nothing to do with me.” Remember, the key to this step is to find different patterns of thinking that help us feel kindness towards ourselves. ## 3. Allow change to occur If one is able to commit to these simple practices for a long period of time, transformation will inevitably occur. Our ability to commit to this practice long-term often hinges on making small changes that are sustainable over time. Therefore, do not try to be overly ambitious! Be patient and kind with yourself as you learn and grow. Our gradual transformation can affect our relationship with ourselves, as well as others! Change often feels foreign and scary, because it is unknown territory. However, the gift of changing our thought patterns empowers us as we learn: we have so much more control over how we feel than we realize. Bonus! If you find you are excelling at this practice and want to master positive self-talk, consider speaking to yourself using your name. For example, rather than saying “I am a talented person” – speak *to* yourself and say “Lesley, you are a talented person!” However silly this may sound, [studies have shown](http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2014/10/07/353292408/why-saying-is-believing-the-science-of-self-talk "NPR Positive Self Talk Study") that this very small adjustment makes a world of difference in our self-image and ability to believe in ourselves! If you are feeling *really* adventurous, try using a more advanced log to track your thoughts, feelings and behaviors. You can read up on some of the nuts and bolts of CBT [here](http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201212/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-techniques-work "CBT Tools"). Please be advised that these practices can often bring up things in us we might not have realized were there. If you feel at any point you would like someone to walk with you in your self-discovery – please [reach out](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/ "Contact Fuller Life") for help. The beauty of this practice is that we can empower ourselves to take charge of our thoughts, emotions and behaviors with just a little effort! Enjoy the journey! ![Lesley Anne Mendonça](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Lesley-FL-Round-Headshot.png) **Lesley Anne Mendonça** **M.A., LMFT-Associate, LPC-Intern** **Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, LMFT-S, LPC-S** [![Fuller Life Logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Logo-high-res.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) ## **Looking for Affordable Therapy in Houston?** [Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) provides [affordable therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") in Houston for [individuals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/ "Individual Therapy"), [couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/), [kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/), [teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/), [groups](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) and [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) within an [intensive training](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/ "Train with Us") program. With [sliding scale](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") options and five convenient [locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/), care is accessible without compromising [clinical excellence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/ "Our Clinical Outcomes"). We provide specialized treatment with [Somatic EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/somatic-emdr-natural-processing/), [Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-therapy-2/), [Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sand-therapy/), [Art and Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/). [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/)[Our Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/)[Our Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6838-e1631304820220.jpg) Lesley Anne Mendonça Lesley is a Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy. She practices individual, marital and family counseling, and has a background in ministry with adolescents. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) Mental Health Play Therapy Relationships Parenting Family Therapy [ ![social network icon](data:image/svg+xml;base64,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) ](https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesleymendonca/) **Categories:** Cognitive Reframing, Mental Health, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Validation (affirmations), Sticky **Tags:** CBT, cognitive distortions, cognitive reframing, positive self talk, self-awareness --- ### [The Unique Approach of Marriage and Family Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/marriage-family-therapy/) **Published:** September 9, 2015 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** This video recently released by [AAMFT](http://www.aamft.org) illustrate the unique approach of the profession of marriage and family therapists. [Understanding the Benefits of Marriage and Family Therapy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31EgvvbXS6M) [![Fuller Life Logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Logo-high-res.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) ## **Looking for Affordable Therapy in Houston?** [Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) provides [affordable therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") in Houston for [individuals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/ "Individual Therapy"), [couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/), [kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/), [teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/), [groups](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) and [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) within an [intensive training](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/ "Train with Us") program. With [sliding scale](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") options and five convenient [locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/), care is accessible without compromising [clinical excellence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/ "Our Clinical Outcomes"). We provide specialized treatment with [Somatic EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/somatic-emdr-natural-processing/), [Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-therapy-2/), [Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sand-therapy/), [Art and Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/). [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/)[Our Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/)[Our Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/6d17399acfd9b615dcc0b9c59c57e5ae8935bb0c93952030fbf48b72220e0445?s=300&r=g) Amy Fuller PhD Clinical Director Dr. Amy Fuller is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and professional counselor with over two decades of experience specializing in sex therapy, couples therapy, and trauma. She earned her master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Abilene Christian University and her PhD from St. Mary’s University. Dr. Fuller is the founder and Clinical Director of Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, a nonprofit in Houston committed to providing affordable mental health care and advanced therapist training. She is an AASECT-certified sex therapist and supervisor, known for her compassionate and evidence-based approach. Dr. Fuller serves as the Specialization Director for Sex Therapy and Trauma in the Doctor of Professional Counseling program at Kairos University, where she mentors emerging clinicians. With a passion for making therapy accessible and equipping therapists for meaningful, lasting work, Dr. Fuller integrates clinical excellence, spirituality, and cultural responsiveness into every aspect of her practice. [See Full Bio](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) [ ](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) Couples Therapy Healing Trauma Sex Therapy Mental Health Family Therapy EMDR Relationships Mindfulness [ ![social network 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](https://www.linkedin.com/in/amyfullerphd/) **Categories:** Counseling, Family Therapy, Marriage, Mental Health, Relationships **Tags:** Communication, couples, marriage, mental health, relationships --- ### [Understanding Eating Disorders](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/eatingdisorders/) **Published:** May 18, 2017 **Author:** Laura Cardella **Content:** An eating disorder is a condition that keeps a person from eating food in a way that promotes good physical and emotional health. While more prevalent in Western nations, all races, cultures, genders, socio-economic groups and ages are susceptible to eating disorders. The general public became aware of eating disorders in 1983 following the death of a famous singer, Karen Carpenter, from anorexia nervosa. ### **Facts of Disordered Eating** As of 2011, 10 million men and 20 million women in the United States suffer from eating disorders at some point during their lifetime. Eating disorders often coexist with psychological and medical issues such as low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, trouble coping with emotions and substance abuse. Statistics showing girls under 10 years of age being worried about their body weight and shape are concerning. A variety of athletes are currently obsessed with having a perfect, thin and beautiful body. ### **What Causes Disordered Eating?** Dissatisfaction with one’s body or appearance is one main reason for disordered eating. For some, a preoccupation with food becomes a way to gain control over at least one aspect of their lives. Social media, television, movies and magazines present artificial and unhealthy ideals of beauty. This causes some young girls, teens, women, boys, men and their families to be preoccupied with dieting and thinness. ### **Kinds of Eating Disorders** [Bulimia nervosa](https://www.helpguide.org/articles/eating-disorders/bulimia-nervosa.htm#what) is an emotional disorder involving a distorted body image, eating large amounts of food and an obsessive desire to lose weight. These bouts of extreme overeating are followed by depression, guilt, shame and often self-induced vomiting, purging, or fasting or extreme exercising. It effects 3.5% of women, 2% of men, and up to 1.6% of adolescents in the U.S. Bulimia nervosa has the highest rate of suicide of all eating disorders. [Anorexia nervosa](https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/anorexia-nervosa) is about extremely low body weight, but the patient sees themselves as overweight. Patients may actually die of starvation. Statistics show 10% of people with anorexia nervosa die within 10 years. Anorexia has the highest death rate of all psychiatric diagnosis. ### **Ways Society Makes It Worse** Sadly, many adore superficial beauty in our sophisticated postmodern American society. Being a singular type – young, unblemished and thin is to be perfect. The media prefers a single body type and discourages tolerance of differences and varieties of physique. Additionally, we find attitudes and trends of unhealthy thin models in television and movies, magazines and social media on screens throughout the world. Those committed to encouraging their families’ healthy eating habits must battle the merciless influence of outside pressure. These social influences make it even more difficult to nurture and maintain healthy eating habits. So, what is to be done to help people successfully nourish their families? ### **What Can you do?** There are things you can do to prevent eating disorders even if you or someone you love is not struggling with an eating disorder. For example, you can spread awareness through education, be aware of the dangers and mindfully prevent the glamorizing of poor eating habits. In other words, take a stand! - Prepare, serve and eat in healthy ways so that you and your family maintain healthy, nourishing habits. If you enjoy apps, check out [The Best Eating Disorder Apps of 2016](http://www.healthline.com/health/eating-disorders/top-iphone-android-apps) (These apps offer ways to track eating and exercise, use cognitive behavioral therapy or positive affirmations for promoting healthy eating styles.) - Do not shop at or buy products from stores that glorify overly thin models and starvation lifestyles. - Take a positive stand against the dieting trend. Speak with your sons and daughters about the harm of eating disorders. Help them use common sense to see how the media distorts overly thin body types. - Finally, speak up for and model healthy attitudes and eating practices wherever you find yourself: at work, with parenting groups, in programs for school children, athletics, scouting and church activities. Encourage a culture of accepting diversity of healthy body types and nurturing eating practices. ### **It Is Up to Me If It Is to Be** If we do not stop the swing toward rewarding faulty thinking and unhealthy choices, no one else will do it for us. So, it is up to you and me. We must not accept the distortion that being too thin is best. Will you take a stand with me and reclaim healthy eating patterns for our families? [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Laurie-Cardella-Fuller-Life-Headshot-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/lauracardella/)[Laura L. Cardella, LPC Intern,](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/lauracardella/) Supervised by [Amy Fuller PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, invites you to comment on or share this blog. Let this be a way of standing strong and joining the conversation to help families choose healthy eating habits! ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Laurie-Cardella-Fuller-Life-Headshot-e1486988355384.jpg) Laura Cardella [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/laura-cardella/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/laura-cardella/) Mental Health Stress and Anger Management **Categories:** Eating Disorders, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Self-Awareness, Self-Esteem **Tags:** anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, disordered eating, eating disorders, self-awareness, self-esteem --- ### [Me Before You: What kind of relationship do you have?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/me-before-you-relationship/) **Published:** December 9, 2018 **Author:** 1-Lindsay Perry **Content:** Since we can feel chemistry and passion so quickly and effortlessly for someone else, that means staying with that person should be easy, right? Except, most of us eventually feel a fading of that initial passion, chemistry, and excitement in a relationship. What do we have left after these feelings pass? ## **Happily, ever after?** When the relationship hits trouble, we sometimes feel tricked, lied to, and wonder if we can make it work. We wonder if it will last. Then, we busy our minds with thoughts of what the other person is doing, why they do the things they do, and why they are the way they are. Our thoughts get us feeling stuck and defeated. We get so focused on the other person that we completely forget about ourselves. A great relationship with others starts with a great relationship with yourself. ## **When the relationship starts sinking** Having a relationship with yourself may sound like something that doesn’t make sense. In our culture, relationships carry so much weight and pressure that it sometimes feels as though we’re drowning in them. When we feel like we’re drowning, we look to our partner, our friend, or our family member to save us. Then, we get upset when they don’t save us. The difficult truth here is that they can’t. The people in our lives can support us, aid us, and love us. What they cannot do is save us…especially from ourselves. This is the terrifying part. If they can’t save us, who can? ## **Do you know how to swim?** We can expedite the destruction of our relationships by expecting that others will keep us from drowning when they may be drowning just like we are. Coming up for air starts with ourselves. It starts with knowing and loving ourselves enough to confront and realize that we’ve been drowning in the shallow end of a pool because we didn’t know we had feet. If we don’t see that we have feet, we can’t stand up and support ourselves. We may look to anyone and everyone else to pull us out of the water and save us when we feel like we’re drowning. Expecting others to save us can cripple and destroy relationships, and take a toll on those around us. What does this mean? First and foremost, it means to begin by seeing that we may be drowning. We need to see that we’re in the shallow end of our own pool. Then, we need to look down, see we have feet, and then believe that those feet will support us when we stand up. For healthy relationships, we need to see that we can support ourselves, and choose to love ourselves while choosing to love others. ## **What about you?** So how are you loving yourself today? We are human. There will be mistakes and we will fall down. We worry and we expect. We have flaws and pitfalls, but we don’t have to become these things. As humans, we are more than the things we don’t like about ourselves. We are also our strengths, capabilities, and talents. We are all of these things combined and we are worth loving all of these things together; the good and the bad. While it may not be as easy as automatically loving ourselves, we can choose daily to be kind and open to who and where we are. We are worth being loved by others, and we are worth being loved by ourselves. In our worthiness, we can choose love daily. For more content on relationships and self-love, follow the links below: - (2015, November 17). *[Skills for healthy romantic relationships: Joanne Davila](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gh5VhaicC6g)* \[Video file\]. - [Finding Love: How to love yourself first](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-love/201105/how-love-yourself-first) - [You have to love yourself before you can love someone else](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-angry-therapist/201802/you-have-love-yourself-you-can-love-someone-else) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/Lindsay-Perry-FL-Headshot-300x254.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/Lindsay-Perry-FL-Headshot.jpg) Contributed by [Lindsay Perry, M.Ed, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/lindsayperry/) Clinical Supervision by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) [![Fuller Life Logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Logo-high-res.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) ## **Looking for Affordable Therapy in Houston?** [Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) provides [affordable therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") in Houston for [individuals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/ "Individual Therapy"), [couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/), [kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/), [teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/), [groups](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) and [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) within an [intensive training](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/ "Train with Us") program. With [sliding scale](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") options and five convenient [locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/), care is accessible without compromising [clinical excellence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/ "Our Clinical Outcomes"). We provide specialized treatment with [Somatic EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/somatic-emdr-natural-processing/), [Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-therapy-2/), [Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sand-therapy/), [Art and Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/). [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/)[Our Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/)[Our Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LINDSAY-PERRY-HEADSHOT-1-e1631302384595.png) 1-Lindsay Perry [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lindsayperry/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lindsayperry/) Mental Health EMDR Healing Trauma Relationships **Categories:** Boundaries, Couples, Emotions and Relationships, Marriage, Relationships, Self-Awareness **Tags:** couples, emotions and relationships, marriage, relationship, self-awareness --- ### [When Grief and Spirituality Intersect](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/grief-spirituality-intersect/) **Published:** March 30, 2020 **Author:** 1-Stephanie Jordan **Content:** > In light of the recent global novel Coronavirus pandemic that spread and claimed the lives of hundreds of thousands of people in local communities, cities, states, and countries around the world, many individuals are experiencing grief in the midst of this calamity. Some have lost loved ones due to the virus, are unable to have or attend funerals for the deceased loved one, are personally suffering from or know someone suffering from the virus, are dealing with the psychological and emotional effects of “social (physical) distancing,” and are worried about meeting the most basic needs for their family’s survival and livelihood. These concerns, among others, have caused many to experience some form of personal grief, or an existential crisis in spirituality. Death itself, whether untimely or anticipated, sometimes leaves unanswered questions. Dr. Mark Kelleman, author of the book, “God’s Healing for Life’s Losses” examines the complexities of life’s unanswered questions, in the midst of death and in the midst of human suffering. His book offers readers a perspective on grief, spirituality, and hope through the Divine Redeemer. Although the book is specifically written for individuals of Christian faith, the concepts and perspectives shared may be applicable to other religious faiths as well. This blog will share grief perspectives from the book on how to move from depression to hope on one’s grief journey. ### **Traditional Perspectives on Processing Grief** Many people are familiar with the *five stages of grief* model first introduced by psychiatrist Elizabeth Kübler-Ross. She speculated that an individual experiences denial (stage one), anger (stage two), bargaining (stage three), and depression (stage four), before coming to acceptance (stage five). The model suggested that grief occurs in a sequential process until they reach the final stage. Dr. Kelleman, however, viewed the f*ive stages of grief model* as too one-dimensional. Noting that individuals tend to deal with their grief in separation from others which leads to feelings of spiritual abandonment, social betrayal, and feelings of shame and self-contempt. Dr. Kelleman believes this causes spiritual depression. ### **Spirituality Perspectives on Processing Grief** Dr. Kelleman’s grief model, which he describes as God’s Positioning System (GPS), explains grief as a multi-dimensional process, where individuals respond to grief by integrating spirituality into their grief process. The model introduces eight stages. Four stages address hurt and four stages address hope. **Four Stages of Hurt****Four Stages of Hope***Candor:* Practice honesty with myself.*Waiting:* Groaning with Hope.*Complaint:* Honesty with God.*Wailing:* Trusting with Faith.*Cry:* Ask God for help.*Weaving:* Perceiving with Grace.*Comfort:* Receive God’s help.*Worshiping:* Engaging with Love.The eight stages describe how grievers can suffer a loss and come face-to-face with God. The traditional grief responses, introduced by Kübler Ross, are not to be minimized. Dr. Kelleman encourages grievers to learn how to move from denial to personal honesty, from anger to honesty with God, from bargaining to asking God for help, and from depression to receiving God’s help. Moreover, the four stages of hope describe how grievers can take God’s hand and journey forward in life (acceptance) while facing the realities of their loss. Dr. Kelleman, calls this “creative suffering.” That is, creative suffering converts the suffering that batters and causes depression, into hope that, The Redeemer can bring healing to hurting hearts. ### **Journeying in Hope: An Alternative Perspective** Dr. Kelleman explains the journey of grief can be emotional, complicated, and messy. It comes with hills and valleys and good days and bad days. It is normal to feel hurt and it is necessary to grieve. Remember that taking the journey with God places one’s trust and faith in His good character and his good heart that better days will come. Likewise, contemplating suffering from a grace perspective nurtures alternative ways to view life’s losses where hope can flourish, and spiritual growth can mature. ### **Reference:** Kellemen, R. W. (2010). *God’s healing for life’s losses: How to find hope when you’re hurting*. Winona Lake, IN: BMH Books. [![Fuller Life Logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Logo-high-res.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) ## **Looking for Affordable Therapy in Houston?** [Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) provides [affordable therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") in Houston for [individuals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/ "Individual Therapy"), [couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/), [kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/), [teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/), [groups](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) and [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) within an [intensive training](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/ "Train with Us") program. With [sliding scale](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") options and five convenient [locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/), care is accessible without compromising [clinical excellence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/ "Our Clinical Outcomes"). We provide specialized treatment with [Somatic EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/somatic-emdr-natural-processing/), [Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-therapy-2/), [Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sand-therapy/), [Art and Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/). [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/)[Our Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/)[Our Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Stephanie-Jordan-LPC-headshot-e1649525396344.jpeg) 1-Stephanie Jordan [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/stephaniejordan/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/stephaniejordan/) Mental Health Healing Trauma EMDR Couples Therapy Counseling **Categories:** Depression, Mental Health, Spirituality, Trauma and Loss **Tags:** depression, grief, healing, hope, loss, spirituality --- ### [The Orgasm Gap and What it Means for Women](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-orgasm-gap-and-what-it-means-for-women/) **Published:** September 21, 2022 **Author:** Dr. Chantail Green **Excerpt:** Dr. Laurie Mintz coined the term Orgasm Gap to identify the fact that heterosexual men have many more orgasms than heterosexual women. **Content:** Everyone with a vulva and having sex without an orgasm should continue to read on. Some women say they are unsure if they had an orgasm. Well, if you are not sure, you probably have not had one. Dr. David Schnarch says, “For many people, orgasm is the goal and measure of sexual fulfillment.” Although a lack of orgasms does not mean you did not have good or great sex, it could mean you are deprived of another level of eroticism. ## **What is an Orgasm?** [![Young Black Couple](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/Young-Black-Couple_canstockphoto92338970-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/Young-Black-Couple_canstockphoto92338970.jpg) > According to the National Health Service (NHS), “An orgasm is a feeling of intense sexual pleasure that happens during sexual activity.” ## **What is the Orgasm Gap?** Dr. Laurie Mintz coined the term Orgasm Gap to identify the fact that heterosexual men have many more orgasms than heterosexual women. What’s up with that? The female clitoris has twice as many nerve endings as the male penis. Women have 8,000 nerve endings in the clitoris, and men have 4,000 in the head of their penis. One [Study](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-017-0939-z) shows that 95% of heterosexual men reported they usually or always orgasm during sex, compared to 65% of heterosexual women. Lesbians also have more orgasms than heterosexual women, reporting 86% always orgasm during sex. The study shows that 10% had never had an orgasm. ## **What are the Major Reasons for the Pleasure Gap with Women?** - Lack of sexual education – for most women, the primary source of pleasure is the clitoris. - Lack of adequate foreplay – meaningful and pleasurable foreplay - Mindfulness – relax and be present, letting go of the daily stress that hinders orgasms ## **Human Sexual Response Cycle The human sexual response cycle theory is credited to [William Masters and Virginia Johnson](https://kinseyinstitute.org/collections/archival/masters-and-johnson.php), who theorized what happens in a four-stage model. **Phase 1**: Excitement or (Arousal Phase) – is the state of desire or arousal by physical or mental erotic stimuli such as kissing, fantasizing, watching porn, or stimulating genitals. The excitement and arousal cause the heart, blood pressure, and breathing rate to increase. **Phase 2**: Plateau – sexual pleasure increases from phase 1. Blood flows to the genitals more, making them super sensitive right before orgasm occurs. If there is a prolonged plateau phase without orgasm, it could cause sexual frustration. **Phase 3**: The orgasm or climax phase is the quickest and most intense of the four stages lasting a few seconds and resulting in the release of sexual tension. **Phase 4**: The resolution phase or refractory (for males) comes after the orgasm, allowing the blood pressure and breathing to decrease and the muscles to relax. It is a downward shift from all other stages. Note: Refractory is the period when males cannot experience orgasms. It is typical for males, but some women also experience a refractory period. ## **Do Men Know What Women Need? The Kinsey Institute found that during masturbation, both women and men reach orgasm in about the same amount of time. If women are not achieving orgasm with a partner, it could mean that some men misunderstand what their female partners need to orgasm. Most heterosexual men believe their partner did have an orgasm. The statistics show that either the partner was faking, or the men could not tell. [![Young Couple in Bed](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/Young-Couple-in-Bed_canstockphoto6233149-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/Young-Couple-in-Bed_canstockphoto6233149.jpg) ## **Orgasms in Women Dr. Beverly Whipple, former president of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT), said that the clitoris is a wonderful thing, “but there’s more to women’s sexuality.” The female orgasm continues to be the subject of scientific curiosity. Doctors are uncertain about the various ways women achieve orgasms and the things that can prevent orgasms in women. An article published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy found that 36.6 percent of women absolutely needed [clitoral stimulation](https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/0092623X.2017.1346530) during sex, while about half that, 18.4 percent, prefer vaginal penetration alone. ## **Ways to Bridge the Gap 1. Genuinely find interest in what your partner wants; her needs are important. 2. Explore the vulva, which includes the clitoris, the opening of the vagina, inner and outer lips 3. [Explore combining clitoris stimulation with vaginal penetration](https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/0092623X.2017.1346530) 4. Because women want sex to last longer than men (5.4 minutes), try more foreplay that is satisfying to the female. 5. Have more meaningful conversations before, during, and after sex 6. Explore ways for her to orgasm after he has ejaculated. Clitoral stimulation with a vibrator, your mouth, and your hands is an option. In efforts to bridge the orgasm gap, the couple could do a few things to promote the female’s orgasm. Males asking their female partner what they like can help with preventing sexual dissatisfaction; if you do not know what satisfies her, just ask her. If the couple finds communication about sex difficult, talking to a therapist could improve sexual understanding to close the orgasm gap. [![Chantail Green](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Chantail-Green-FL-Headshot-e1630912730614-edited.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/chantailgreen/) ## [Dr. Chantail Green](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/chantailgreen/)[, ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/riya/)Clinical Therapist Licensed Professional Counselor [![Fuller Life Logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Logo-high-res.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) ## **Looking for Affordable Therapy in Houston?** [Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) provides [affordable therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") in Houston for [individuals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/ "Individual Therapy"), [couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/), [kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/), [teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/), [groups](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) and [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) within an [intensive training](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/ "Train with Us") program. With [sliding scale](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") options and five convenient [locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/), care is accessible without compromising [clinical excellence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/ "Our Clinical Outcomes"). We provide specialized treatment with [Somatic EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/somatic-emdr-natural-processing/), [Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-therapy-2/), [Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sand-therapy/), [Art and Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/). [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/)[Our Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/)[Our Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Chantail-Green-FL-Headshot-e1630912730614-edited.jpg) Dr. Chantail Green Clinical Therapist [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/chantail-green/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/chantail-green/) Sex Therapy Relationships Couples Therapy **Categories:** Counseling, Couples, Intimacy & Sex Therapy, Marriage, Relationships, Sexual Education **Tags:** orgasms gap, relationships, Sex Therapy, Sexuality --- ### [How men and women perceive negative emotions differently: Good news about Empathy, Part 2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-men-and-women-perceive-negative-emotions-differently-good-news-about-empathy-part-2/) **Published:** October 23, 2012 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** Most people are aware that men are from Mars and Women from Venus, metaphorically speaking, thanks to [Dr. John Gray](http://www.marsvenus.com/ "MarsVenus.com"). When we put the genders together we sometimes end up with miscommunication, hurt feelings and relationship chaos. One particular solution some couples have resorted to is avoiding negative emotion altogether. It is the “ostrich-head in the sand” approach to problem solving. However, [a recent study](http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/fam-26-2-236.pdf "Eye of the Beholder") conducted by a group from Harvard and Bryn Mawr College and recently published in the Journal of Family Psychology, sought to understand the workings of empathy on a deeper level. Findings suggest several interesting phenomenon regarding how men and women deal with each others negative feelings: 1. women experience a positive perception of the relationship when their husbands express negative emotion, 2. men feel most satisfied in the relationship when they can accurately describe their wives positive feelings, and 3. when women express negative emotional content and their husbands **try** to understand and acknowledge these feelings, women experience higher relationship satisfaction. Women felt increased satisfaction and connection when they perceived and acknowledged the negative emotions of their male partners. This would suggest that women like it when men say how they really feel, even if it is negative, because it represents investment in the relationship and emotional engagement. Men, on the other hand, like it when women share and express positive feelings about the relationship and they are able to acknowledge those positive emotions. So, if you are a man and you notice emotional distress in your wife, acknowledge it with curiosity, even though you may prefer she communicate positive affect. Additionally, when you experience frustration in the relationship, find the courage to sit down and share your thought and feelings with your wife at the appropriate time. When you take the time and devote the emotional energy to really trying to understand your wife’s feelings and to share how you really feel, you communicate to her that you are present with her and committed to the relationship. She may mostly want to know you are there with her. What do these findings mean for ladies? Men can be especially sensitive to our negative emotions, so it is wise to consider our feelings before we speak. Since we mostly like to talk out feelings, simply adding remarks concerning any positive thoughts and feelings we are experiencing can affirm his role in your life and offset any potential feelings of critique. When we express negative feelings that are not acknowledged, it’s helpful to remember negative feelings are more challenging for them to affirm. While this may be overly simplistic, I have observed men who love their wives simply desire to make their wives happy, please them and show their care for them. When women express negative feelings, men sometimes blame themselves and register failure. One way to quickly and simply pepper conversations with positivity is through a gentle smile or touch…these simple methods of non-verbal communication go miles for your men. The good news: couples don’t have to be scared of negative feelings! In fact, when men share negative feelings, the result can be increased feelings of closeness for her. She also feels close when she shares difficult feelings and he really tries to understand. Negative emotions in a relationship can be difficult, but with the use of empathetic and compassionate communication, couples can find their way. Often we find negative emotions so difficult that we push them away, and sometimes this works, at least temporarily. The more ideal response to negative emotion is to be curious about it. Instead of judging yourself or your spouse for what they feel, seek to understand the deeper feeling with empathy. *A final word: It IS possible to be too honest, too open and share feelings that wound deeply. Please don’t take this information as permission to tell your spouse every negative feeling you’ve ever felt! Mental editing is required and non-reactivity is the key to effective communication. Stay calm even if you let yourself share something negative. If you get too hot, press pause and come back to the conversation after you’ve both cooled down.* Want to learn more about what happens in couple’s therapy? Check out “[The ABCs of Creative Family Therapy Techniques](http://mftdegree.org/the-abcs-of-creative-family-therapy-techniques/ "The ABCs of Couples Therapy"),” for more information. [Cohen, S., Schulz, M. S., Weiss, E. & Waldinger, R. J. (2012). Eye of the Beholder: The Individual and Dyadic Contributions of Empathic Accuracy and Perceived Empathic Effort to Relationship Satisfaction. *Journal of Family Psychology, 26,* 236–245](http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/fam-26-2-236.pdf "Eye of the Beholder") [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/2040fd8-150x150.jpg "Therapist Family Counseling Marriage Counseling")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/2040fd8.jpg) [DR. AMY FULLER, LMFT, LPC](http://amyfullerphd.com/) Clinical Director at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/6d17399acfd9b615dcc0b9c59c57e5ae8935bb0c93952030fbf48b72220e0445?s=300&r=g) Amy Fuller PhD Clinical Director Dr. Amy Fuller is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and professional counselor with over two decades of experience specializing in sex therapy, couples therapy, and trauma. She earned her master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Abilene Christian University and her PhD from St. Mary’s University. Dr. Fuller is the founder and Clinical Director of Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, a nonprofit in Houston committed to providing affordable mental health care and advanced therapist training. She is an AASECT-certified sex therapist and supervisor, known for her compassionate and evidence-based approach. Dr. Fuller serves as the Specialization Director for Sex Therapy and Trauma in the Doctor of Professional Counseling program at Kairos University, where she mentors emerging clinicians. With a passion for making therapy accessible and equipping therapists for meaningful, lasting work, Dr. Fuller integrates clinical excellence, spirituality, and cultural responsiveness into every aspect of her practice. [See Full Bio](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) [ ](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) Couples Therapy Healing Trauma Sex Therapy Mental Health Family Therapy EMDR Relationships Mindfulness [ ![social network 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](https://www.linkedin.com/in/amyfullerphd/) **Categories:** Communication, Couples, Empathy, Gender Differences, Marriage, Relationships **Tags:** Communication, couples, Empathy, marriage, relationships --- ### [Great News about Empathy: New research shows effort matters more than getting it right](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/great-news-about-empathy/) **Published:** August 6, 2012 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** [![Great News about Empathy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/canstockphoto7235063-1024x681.jpg "canstockphoto7235063")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/canstockphoto7235063.jpg)If you sit in a restaurant and look around sometimes you can determine who is married and who is still dating. A couple still dating hangs on each other’s every word, while the married folks sometimes stare off into space. Curiosity has died and empathetic understanding has come to a halt due to years of familiarity. We could explore the many reasons, and multiple causes for these rifts in relationships. But of greater importance, how do couples overcome this sorry state of perpetual grayness? One of the fathers of counseling theory, Carl Rogers, defined empathic response as having two requirements: (1) it represents accurately the experience of another and (2) is communicated to the other person effectively. An empathetic response describes the mental and emotional state someone else is experiencing, as we share it in some measure with them, and expresses our care and understanding in that moment. The struggle is that empathy can be quite difficult to put into practice. After a while, some couples stop trying to understand one another either because they think they already fully know their spouse (which is fully impossible) or they become disheartened when they do not seem to get it right. However, a recent study has revealed a refreshing perspective on what really matters for couples is the sincere **attempt** to understand each other. Conducted by a group from Harvard and Bryn Mawr College and recently published in the [Journal of Family Psychology](http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/fam-26-2-236.pdf "Eye of the Beholder"), this study sought to understand the workings of empathy on a deeper level and found that couples felt more satisfied in the relationship with the perceived effort of their partner to be empathic than with the exact and accurate empathic response. *“Findings suggest that the perception of a partner’s empathic effort-as distinct from empathic accuracy-is uniquely informative in understanding how partners may derive relationship satisfaction from empathic processes.”* In other words, when it comes to connecting with empathy, the human echo, it’s the effort that matters, not whether you get it right! Knowing how to listen well is a skill that develops the more it is put into practice. When we begin to try to really listen, communicate empathetically, and then do not get the desired response we can easily become discouraged. Please know this…what matters is that you try! It’s the practice of curiosity and wondering that bring new light and hope to any dire relationship. This may not be the best news for some of us who don’t like matching great effort to the idea of being wrong. We much prefer to be right or certain in our understanding of each other. However, humans are simply not simple, we are dynamically complex and our emotional responses are often layered with emotion and experience. It is for this very reason that it means so much when someone really tries to understand us. In spite of the ambiguity this empathetic curiosity may present, the greater benefit comes in embracing the challenge of real effort to acknowledge, appreciate and accept our loved one. You may have heard the saying, “If at first you don’t succeed, Try, try, try again.” (William Hickson). When we take the time to really stop and earnestly try to see the world through another’s eyes…the world changes…and so do we. Cohen, S., Schulz, M. S., Weiss, E. & Waldinger, R. J. (2012). [Eye of the Beholder: The Individual and Dyadic Contributions of Empathic Accuracy and Perceived Empathic Effort to Relationship Satisfaction. ](http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/fam-26-2-236.pdf "Eye of the Beholder: The Individual and Dydactic Contributions of Empathetic Accuracy and Perceived Empathy Effort to Relationship Satisfaction. Journal of Family Psychology")*[Journal of Family Psychology](http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/fam-26-2-236.pdf "Eye of the Beholder: The Individual and Dydactic Contributions of Empathetic Accuracy and Perceived Empathy Effort to Relationship Satisfaction. Journal of Family Psychology"), 26,* 236–245. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/2040fd8-150x150.jpg "Therapist Family Counseling Marriage Counseling")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/2040fd8.jpg)[DR. AMY FULLER, LMFT, LPC](http://amyfullerphd.com/) Clinical Director at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute [![Fuller Life Logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Logo-high-res.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) ## **Looking for Affordable Therapy in Houston?** [Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) provides [affordable therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") in Houston for [individuals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/ "Individual Therapy"), [couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/), [kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/), [teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/), [groups](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) and [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) within an [intensive training](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/ "Train with Us") program. With [sliding scale](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") options and five convenient [locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/), care is accessible without compromising [clinical excellence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/ "Our Clinical Outcomes"). We provide specialized treatment with [Somatic EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/somatic-emdr-natural-processing/), [Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-therapy-2/), [Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sand-therapy/), [Art and Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/). [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/)[Our Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/)[Our Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/6d17399acfd9b615dcc0b9c59c57e5ae8935bb0c93952030fbf48b72220e0445?s=300&r=g) Amy Fuller PhD Clinical Director Dr. Amy Fuller is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and professional counselor with over two decades of experience specializing in sex therapy, couples therapy, and trauma. She earned her master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Abilene Christian University and her PhD from St. Mary’s University. Dr. Fuller is the founder and Clinical Director of Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, a nonprofit in Houston committed to providing affordable mental health care and advanced therapist training. She is an AASECT-certified sex therapist and supervisor, known for her compassionate and evidence-based approach. Dr. Fuller serves as the Specialization Director for Sex Therapy and Trauma in the Doctor of Professional Counseling program at Kairos University, where she mentors emerging clinicians. With a passion for making therapy accessible and equipping therapists for meaningful, lasting work, Dr. Fuller integrates clinical excellence, spirituality, and cultural responsiveness into every aspect of her practice. [See Full Bio](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) [ ](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) Couples Therapy Healing Trauma Sex Therapy Mental Health Family Therapy EMDR Relationships Mindfulness [ ![social network 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](https://www.linkedin.com/in/amyfullerphd/) **Categories:** Communication, Couples, Empathy, Family Therapy, Marriage, Relationships **Tags:** Communication, Curiosity, Empathy, Marital Satisfaction --- ### [Fuller Life by the Numbers](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/fuller-life-by-the-numbers/) **Published:** November 19, 2014 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** So much of life is about numbers. A “fuller life” isn’t usually measured with numbers, but with love, relationships and moments. One [dream of the Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/about-fuller-life/counseling-story/ "Our Story") is to deepen relationships and strengthen individuals, but we also track our numbers! Our dream became a reality when Fuller Life opened its doors in March of 2012. Now 2 years and 7 months later we are thrilled to have finally received 501c3 Status as a non-profit organization from the IRS. Here are the rest of our numbers…. ### OUR DIGITS 1. [We have 2 aims:](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/about-fuller-life/counseling-story/ "Our Story") build a bridge for developing therapists and provide affordable marriage and family therapy services to our community. 2. Our resident therapists have provided over 350 hours of pro-bono therapy to our partner organizations ([Impact Homeless and Recovery House,](http://www.impacthouston.org/Recovery.html) [Mission Year Houston](http://missionyear.org), [Katy Christian Ministries](http://ktcm.org), and [Houston Area Urban League](http://www.haul.org)) 3. Our residents therapists have received a total of 350 hours of pro-bono clinical supervision. 4. Since opening our doors in 2012, we have provided 1500 hours of counseling, marriage and family therapy hours at [reduced fees ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/forms-affordable-fees/affordable-counseling/ "Affordable Fees")to the community. ### **OUR TEAM** - Our Board of Directors meets 3 times annually and consists of Phil Rice, Amy Fuller, Beth Wade, Kathy Straker, Tim Parker and Jennifer Christian. Our board of directors has discussed and approved by-laws, conflict of interest policies, board of director duties, [core values](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/about-fuller-life/therapists-core-values/ "Core Values"), an organizational chart, a resident handbook for Fuller Life, and much more. - Our clinical team began with [Dr. Amy Fuller](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/amy-fuller-phd/ "Amy Fuller PhD, LMFT, LPC") serving as volunteer Clinical Director and supervisor and two clinical residents: [Jennifer Christian ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/jennifer-christian/ "Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC Intern under supervision of Dr. Amy Fuller")and [Scott Rampy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/scott-rampy/ "Scott Rampy, M.MFT, LMFT-Associate"). Jennifer also serves as a volunteer Administrative Director within Fuller Life. - [Lesley Mendonca](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/lesley-anne-mendonca-m-a-lmft-associate/ "Lesley Anne Mendonça, M.A., LMFT-Associate, LPC Intern under supervision of Dr. Amy Fuller") joined our clinical team in September 2013. - [Tim Parker, LMFT](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/timothy-g-parker-lmft/ "Timothy G. Parker, LMFT") has been offering pro-bono supervision for Fuller Life since October 2013. - Since March of 2012, we have continually improved and re-evaluated our security measures, pragmatic practices, training methods and clinician care. We take a team approach to client care, group supervision, marketing and practice management. - In October 2014 we were granted 501C3 status with the IRS after a 2 year long application process! ### **OUR RESOURCES** Since 2012, the Fuller Life team has rigorously sought to create and curate great online content to promote mental, emotional, spiritual, and relational well-being. As of November 20, 2014, we have: - Received over 50,000 hits to our [website](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/ "Fuller Life Therapy") - Written [80 posts](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-blog/ "Therapy Blog") to promote mental, relational, spiritual and emotional health - 567 subscribers to our [constant contact](http://conta.cc/1roD8Ex) monthly newsletter - [Tweeted 408](https://twitter.com/4aFullerLife) times with links to great online articles and resources. - 4500 views on our [Scoop It Pages](http://www.scoop.it/u/fuller-life-family-therapy) - 425 Likes on our [Facebook](http://www.facebook.com/FullerLifeFamilyTherapy) page - A company page on [Linked In](http://www.linkedin.com/company/fuller-life-family-therapy-institute?trk=ppro_cprof), [Google+](https://plus.google.com/+FullerlifefamilytherapyOrgHouston/posts), and [Yelp.](http://www.yelp.com/biz/fuller-life-family-therapy-houston) - Listed #30 on the list of [the best 100 websites for Marriage and Family Therapy](http://www.mastersincounseling.org/marriage-family-therapy.html). ### The last 2 and a half years have brought both blessings and challenges and we are so grateful to our referral partners, community partners, volunteers and board members for their continued support and efforts. ### [![What is counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Collaborate-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Collaborate.jpg)WANT TO HELP OUT? Here are some ways you can partner with us: - Like us on [Facebook](http://www.facebook.com/FullerLifeFamilyTherapy) - [Join our email list](https://www.facebook.com/FullerLifeFamilyTherapy/app_141428856257) for the newest newsletters, updates and posts. - Gift our non-profit with a [tax-deductible donation](https://www.paypal.com/us/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_flow&SESSION=Ijf6mbu_JpT3YC_MamWbk-Z075UueQjV-eGRDgYYSgFMtH3Z6AcWhwv-aKC&dispatch=5885d80a13c0db1f8e263663d3faee8d66f31424b43e9a70645c907a6cbd8fb4). (100% of donated funds directly support therapist training and/or reduced fee therapy services). - Invite one of us to [speak](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-speakers/) at your next event. - Offer your time or skill as a volunteer. Email us at [info@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org](info@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org) - If you know someone looking for therapy, refer them to us! - If you love our [posts](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-blog/ "Therapy Blog"), share them with your friends on facebook and twitter! - Sponsor a family for counseling with a donation - Subscribe to our [blog feed.](feed://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/feed/) - Connect with our staff on [Linked In.](http://www.linkedin.com/in/amyfullerphd) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/2040fd8-150x150.jpg "Therapist Family Counseling Marriage Counseling")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/2040fd8.jpg) [DR. AMY FULLER, LMFT, LPC](http://amyfullerphd.com/) Clinical Director at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/6d17399acfd9b615dcc0b9c59c57e5ae8935bb0c93952030fbf48b72220e0445?s=300&r=g) Amy Fuller PhD Clinical Director Dr. Amy Fuller is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and professional counselor with over two decades of experience specializing in sex therapy, couples therapy, and trauma. She earned her master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Abilene Christian University and her PhD from St. Mary’s University. Dr. Fuller is the founder and Clinical Director of Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, a nonprofit in Houston committed to providing affordable mental health care and advanced therapist training. She is an AASECT-certified sex therapist and supervisor, known for her compassionate and evidence-based approach. Dr. Fuller serves as the Specialization Director for Sex Therapy and Trauma in the Doctor of Professional Counseling program at Kairos University, where she mentors emerging clinicians. With a passion for making therapy accessible and equipping therapists for meaningful, lasting work, Dr. Fuller integrates clinical excellence, spirituality, and cultural responsiveness into every aspect of her practice. [See Full Bio](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) [ ](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) Couples Therapy Healing Trauma Sex Therapy Mental Health Family Therapy EMDR Relationships Mindfulness [ ![social network 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](https://www.scoop.it/u/dr-amy-fuller) [ ![social network 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](https://www.linkedin.com/in/amyfullerphd/) **Categories:** Counseling **Tags:** counseling, mental health --- ### [Enjoy the foods you love AND be healthy: Mindful eating](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-eating-2/) **Published:** August 22, 2019 **Author:** 1-Lindsay Perry **Excerpt:** It can be confusing know what healthy food choices are when we often hear conflicting messages. With mindful eating, we can practice listening to our bodies and make choices for ourselves that promote our health and well-being. **Content:** “Food, glorious food!” wrote Lionel Bart, lyricist of this song from Oliver, the British musical based on the Charles Dickens’ novel, *Oliver Twist.* Mr. Bart knew what he was talking about. Think of your favorite comfort food, snack, or sweet treat. What kinds of feelings arise when you think of your favorite dish? Are there feelings of comfort or safety? Maybe feelings of satisfaction or nostalgia? There are many emotions that present themselves when we eat. There may even be feelings of shame or defeat that can manifest as we eat the last chip from a newly opened family-sized bag that we finished in one sitting. What does all this mean? It means our emotions play an important role as we eat—whether we like it or not. From emotions of guilt when we cheated on our diet (again) to that first satisfying and indulgent bite of our favorite pasta or donut, we can pay attention to our emotions to better understand how we feel, think, and believe about what we eat. With this understanding of ourselves, we can start being mindful of what our body needs without sacrificing the foods we love. ## **What we’re told about what to eat** We’ve all heard it before. Carbs are bad for you. Sugar is bad for you. Wheat is bad for you. Grains are bad for you. Meat is bad for you. Processed foods are bad for you. Eggs are bad for you. Dairy is bad for you. Non-organic foods are bad for you. Too much fruit is bad for you. Certain vegetables are bad for you. If all these things are true, what’s left to eat? If we believed that all the above were true, then to stay healthy, we all need to start on a diet of eating plain kale…but not too much, of course. *How does it make sense for all these things to be bad for our health?* We see in the media how different research studies on the same topic draw entirely different conclusions. One day eggs are bad for you and increase cardiac disease, and the next day, eggs aren’t so bad for you because they contain a different type of cholesterol that isn’t bad for you. *If the science on food is so contradictory, why do we constantly make decisions to change what we eat based off them?* ## **The body knows** This may come as a surprise, but the body actually knows which foods it needs and how much it needs. Babies know how much milk they need to feel content and stop eating when their hunger is satisfied. *So, what happens to us that we lose this ability to know what we need and when we’ve had enough?* We start learning to go against our body’s intuition in being told to finish our plate, told to only eat certain foods, or being shamed by parents or caregivers. When a child is told to finish all their food because there are starving children in other countries, the shame the child experiences from their caregiver can push the decision to eat past the full point and ignore the body’s indicator of being satisfied. For this person, eating may now be associated with shame. *So how does someone who’s been taught to ignore their body’s natural signals of hunger and being full start to recognize these signals again?* ## **Mindful eating** Remember the above example of eating a family-sized bag of chips in one sitting? Think about your favorite snack that you usually power through. Think of where you are as you are wolfing down this favorite snack. Now, consider if you took a bite every 15 seconds or so. Imagine how much slower you would eat. Then, notice what the texture of your snack is like. Is it light and crisp as you take a bite? Is it soft and chewy? Notice the flavor. Is it salty? Is it sweet? Is it salty, then sweet? As you’re continuing to take slow bites, bring awareness of where you usually feel hunger in your stomach. Notice how hunger pangs fade and fullness starts to set in. *This is mindful eating*. Many of us eat in front of our tv, computer, smartphone, or even while driving. We shovel food into our mouths while binge-watching, playing a game, or working. Our minds aren’t on what we’re eating. Our minds are on our screens. We’re practicing mindless eating. Mindful eating challenges us to stop multi-tasking and solely focus on what we’re eating while noticing the entire experience of enjoying a meal or snack. This can be challenging, but a way to start is to practice slowing down when we eat. ## **Enjoy!** The main purpose of mindful eating is to bring us back to paying attention to our body, knowing what we need or don’t need. When we start to practice paying attention to our bodies and our experience of eating, we may not feel the need to power through that family size bag chips. Rather, we can take a handful out of the bag and practice eating them mindfully one by one. Another purpose of mindful eating is to enjoy what we eat and the experience of eating. If we take time to pay attention to eating an apple with curiosity and wonder, imagine the world of flavor that awaits! Food is glorious and meant to be enjoyed for its taste and for our health. Imagine the world that awaits when we stop listening to other people about what to eat and start listening to our own bodies. Bon Appetit! For more in-depth information about mindful eating and food and health, please refer to the below resources: Curated articles on [Mindful Eating](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-eating/ "Mindful Eating") on Scoopit! [Mindful Eating by Jan Chozen Bays](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-eating/200902/mindful-eating) [How to talk to your children about food in a healthy manner by Kristen Fuller ](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-is-state-mind/201801/how-talk-your-children-about-food-in-healthy-manner) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LINDSAY-PERRY-HEADSHOT-1-1024x688.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LINDSAY-PERRY-HEADSHOT-1-e1631302384595.png) Contributed by: [Lindsay Perry, M.Ed, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/lindsayperry/) [![Fuller Life Logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Logo-high-res.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) ## **Looking for Affordable Therapy in Houston?** [Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) provides [affordable therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") in Houston for [individuals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/ "Individual Therapy"), [couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/), [kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/), [teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/), [groups](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) and [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) within an [intensive training](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/ "Train with Us") program. With [sliding scale](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") options and five convenient [locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/), care is accessible without compromising [clinical excellence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/ "Our Clinical Outcomes"). We provide specialized treatment with [Somatic EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/somatic-emdr-natural-processing/), [Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-therapy-2/), [Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sand-therapy/), [Art and Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/). [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/)[Our Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/)[Our Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LINDSAY-PERRY-HEADSHOT-1-e1631302384595.png) 1-Lindsay Perry [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lindsayperry/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lindsayperry/) Mental Health EMDR Healing Trauma Relationships **Categories:** Eating Disorders, Lifestyle, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Awareness, Self-Care Practices **Tags:** mindful eating, mindfulness, mindfulness practice, self care, self-awareness --- ### [A Growth Mindset Can Prevent Burn Out!](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout-2/) **Published:** September 5, 2019 **Author:** Angela Blocker **Content:** This month, Fuller Life connected with first year pre-med students at Prairie View A&M University to discuss how to avoid burn out by working hard while staying true to one’s values. #### Why A Growth Mindset Matters Many high achieving students find it is easy to coast through school on talents alone. However, many experience burn out when their mindset and focus become fixed on maintaining labels like “smart” or “talented.” Dr. Carol Dweck identified the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. When one chooses to hold a fixed mindset, they give up easily, strive for success overgrowth, avoid failures, and ignore useful negative feedback. This is in stark contrast to a growth mindset. In her book *Mindset*, Dr. Dweck explained that “…people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment.” #### How Values Affect Growth Additionally, students were encouraged to consider the importance of remaining true to what they value. If a growth mindset is the fuel that keeps a car going; then, staying authentic is the compass that points towards the destination. Values motivate us and living authentically to our values can lead to a fuller life. When we do not uphold the values we believe in, it can lead to lack of integrity, feeling confused about who we are, and a tendency to allow others to direct our lives. Taking time to identify the values that are most important to you can reinforce a growth mindset and help prevent burn out! ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/Fuller-Life-and-Prairie-View-University-Group-Picture-300x225.jpg)Avoiding Burn Out with Fuller Life and Prairie View A&M University References Dweck, C. S. (2006). *Mindset: The New Psychology of Success*. New York: Robinson. Leiter, M. P., Frank, E., & Matheson, T. (2009). Values, Demands, and Burnout: Perspectives from National Survey of Canadian Physicians. *PsycEXTRA Dataset*. doi: 10.1037/e604522009-001 [![Fuller Life Logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Logo-high-res.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) ## **Looking for Affordable Therapy in Houston?** [Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) provides [affordable therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") in Houston for [individuals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/ "Individual Therapy"), [couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/), [kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/), [teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/), [groups](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) and [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) within an [intensive training](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/ "Train with Us") program. With [sliding scale](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") options and five convenient [locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/), care is accessible without compromising [clinical excellence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/ "Our Clinical Outcomes"). We provide specialized treatment with [Somatic EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/somatic-emdr-natural-processing/), [Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-therapy-2/), [Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sand-therapy/), [Art and Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/). [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/)[Our Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/)[Our Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Angela-Blocker-LMFT-e1631303162413.png) Angela Blocker [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) Mental Health Play Therapy Parenting Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Cognitive Reframing, Counseling, Emotional Intelligence, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Awareness **Tags:** failure, growth, growth mindset, resilience, stress --- ### [Unlocking the Signs and Secrets to the Baby Blues](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/unlocking-signs-secrets-to-baby-blues/) **Published:** March 20, 2019 **Author:** 1-Elisa Squier **Excerpt:** A woman’s identity changes when she becomes a mother. There comes a time when she feels overwhelmed, including thoughts and feelings of depression and anxiety. These feelings are normal, but may be a sign of something more than typical baby blues. **Content:** A woman’s identity changes when she becomes a mother. She starts to become known as so-and-so’s mom. People want to see the baby, not her. Priorities shift as she considers the needs of this helpless human, who demands her time and attention. When all is well, she is happy and eager to pour out love and affection. But what happens when that happiness wanes? When everything feels like a chore or a burden? When helplessness or resentment take over? ## **“Baby Blues” vs Postpartum Depression** There comes a time in a mother’s life, especially a new mother, when she feels overwhelmed. Housework is mounting, sleep is lacking, hormones are temperamental. The good news is that these feelings and stresses are normal. About 80 percent of all new mothers’ experience feelings of helplessness or anxiety. And yet these are experiences that are rarely talked about. These experiences can include thoughts and feelings that women feel ashamed of, but that are normal. When those negative feelings linger more than the first few weeks after giving birth, that may be a sign of something bigger. This is called postpartum depression. Many women experience some depressive symptoms within the first week of giving birth: crying, low motivation, feeling sad, high stress levels, exhaustion. These “baby blues” as some call them, affect nearly 4 in 5 women, but usually disappear after the first few weeks. This is a natural reaction to the influx of hormones, physical strain of birth, and overall change of having a baby in the home. When those feelings persist for weeks on end, that is a sign of something more serious: postpartum depression. Postpartum depression (PPD) is a condition that affects up to 1 in 5 women who have given birth. It includes all the same feelings as regular depression, but they last longer or may be intensified. These include feelings of helplessness or worthlessness and can even lead to thoughts of harming yourself or your child. PPD can be debilitating or lead to feelings of being incapable as a mother, but it doesn’t last forever. ## **Tips for Dealing with Postpartum Depression** ### *Breastfeed If you can, breastfeed. New research has shown that breastfeeding has a strong connection with postpartum depression. Women who breastfeed tend to have a decreased risk for developing or sustaining postpartum depression. Not all women are physically able to breastfeed for a variety of reasons, and if you can’t, there’s no need to feel bad about it. But if you can, breastfeeding provides great benefits for both the mother and child. ### *Prioritize Sleep* Obviously, this can be hard with a newborn baby, but sleep has profound effects on how you feel on a day-to-day basis. Try to sleep when the baby when sleeps as often as you can. Ask a friend or relative to come watch the baby while you sleep. ### *Seek help Women who experience PPD are at a higher risk for experiencing other issues, such as suicidal thoughts and increased anxiety. If left untreated, these can have major consequences for you and your family. Talk to a health care professional or seek therapy. Seeking professional help can help alleviate these issues and lead to a much more satisfying life for you and your family. ### *Medication options* In some cases, medication can be a helpful option for women struggling with PPD. Talk to your doctor and be open about your symptoms. Be sure to learn about medication side effects before adding anything new, especially if you are breastfeeding or taking any other medication. Your doctor or pharmacist can help with any questions you may have. Remember, you’re not alone and you don’t have to live with these feelings! You don’t have to carry any shame for feeling down or struggling. You can reach out for help and find a way through with patience, self-kindness and support. #### Read more about PPD: [Baby Blues Gone Bad](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/baby-blues-gone-bad/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Elisa-Squier-Headshot-2018-e1522800536747-300x219.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Elisa-Squier-Headshot-2018-e1522800536747.jpg) Contributed by [Elisa Squier, M.MFT, LMFT Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/elisasquier/) Clinical Supervision by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/Elisa-Headshot.jpg) 1-Elisa Squier [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/elisasquier/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/elisasquier/) **Categories:** Counseling, Depression **Tags:** anxiety, baby blues, depression, motherhood, pregnancy --- ### [Breaking Free from Burnout: Identifying Causes and Creating Change](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout-3/) **Published:** January 10, 2024 **Author:** Robert LaBarbera **Excerpt:** One of the first steps to overcome burnout is first noticing that one has it.   Many times, we are so busy with the details of life that we do not have time to notice when we might be suffering from burnout.  **Content:** Are there mornings when the sound of your alarm fills you with dread, not just because of the busy day ahead but due to a deep-seated exhaustion that sleep doesn’t cure? If you find yourself dragging through days, unable to muster enthusiasm for exercise, hobbies, or even the fun activities you once loved, you might be grappling with burnout. ### Understanding Burnout: More Than Just Fatigue Many think that burnout is simply due to having too many things to do and not enough time to do them in. However, people tend to experience burnout when a person is not in control of the tasks that they want to carry out, whether it be at work or at home. Burnout can also occur when people are asked to do a job that conflicts with a person’s sense of self; their identity of themselves or who they are at their core. Many times, burnout can be felt and experienced when a person is working towards a goal that their heart is not fully committed to doing. In other words, either a person is not fulfilling what their true calling in life may be, or they have found their “niche” but are simply not taking a break occasionally. According to Psychology Today, burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and often physical exhaustion brought on by prolonged stress. This exhaustion can be work-related but can also be due to areas in everyday family life such as parenting, care-taking, or even romantic relationships. (Sussex Publishers, n.d.) ## Signs of Burnout There are a few definitive signs of burnout that can sometimes be misdiagnosed as mental disorders. Burnout can masquerade as clinical depression, but it’s distinct. For example, the inability to get out of bed in the morning due to not wanting to go to work may look at first like a case of clinical depression, when it may actually be that work is feeling meaningless. Key signs of burnout include: - Job related stress - Family Dynamics and obligations - A sense of frustration, cynicism, anger or irritability. # How to Overcome Burnout: ![professional woman burnout](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/professional-woman-burnout-stress-shutterstock_2254711261.jpg) ### 1. acknowledge burnout. One of the first steps to overcome burnout is first noticing that one has it. Many times, we are so busy with the details of life that we do not have time to notice when we might be suffering from burnout. ## 2. **Assess** and adjust Think about how your job and family life may be affecting you emotionally, socially and spiritually. Maybe asking yourself whether you need to re-assess your career goals or at least tweaking them now that things at work may have changed could be a good idea. If you think your burnout could be from family life, talk to your spouse, significant other, or any other social support structures (family, friends, counselor) about what you are feeling and dealing with. ![self care isn't selfish](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/selfcare-isnt-selfish_shutterstock_1895569528.jpg) ## 3. **Embrace Self-Care** Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential. Remember, self-care is as unique as you are. Self-care includes things like as: - mindfulenss - meditation - yoga or exercise - changes in your diet - prayer or Bible reading - anything that may relight your fire Sometimes trying to figure out whether you have burnout can be hard. That’s why we here at Fuller Life have therapists to help assist you in both evaluating, diagnosing and treating things like burnout. Sometimes, working with a therapist to talk about your career and your family is just the right medicine to find out that you are not alone in dealing with burnout and that help is here for you. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Robert-LaBarbera-Headshot-6-e1677105120987.png)Robert LaBarbera, ## [Robert LaBarbera](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/robert/ "Robert LaBarbera, Resident Therapist") ## Resources on Mindfulness ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/canstockphoto41512531-e1551141816974.jpg) [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/whats-the-weather-like-inside-you-mindfulness-for-kids-and-adults-alike/) ### What’s the Weather Like Inside You? Mindfulness for Kids and Adults Alike ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Manpolejumping.jpg) [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-movement-exercise-mental-health/) ### Mindful Movement: The Cutting Edge of Exercise and Mental Health ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/creative-mindfulness.jpg) [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/add-flavor-to-mindfulness-with-color-and-music/) ### Add Flavor to Mindfulness with Color and Music? ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/canstockphoto8452676-e1566422238582.jpg) [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-eating-2/) ### Enjoy the foods you love AND be healthy: Mindful eating ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/ocean-joy.jpg) [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-power-of-beautiful-spaces/) ### Healing Practices: The Healing Power of Beautiful Spaces ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Chocolate-Therapy-e1391256868829.jpg) [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/chocolate-therapy/) ### Chocolate Therapy ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Robert-LaBarbera-Headshot-6-e1677105120987.png) Robert LaBarbera Resident Therapist [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/robertlabarbera/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/robertlabarbera/) Mental Health EMDR Stress and Anger Management [ ![social network icon](data:image/svg+xml;base64,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) ](https://www.linkedin.com/in/robertlabarbera/) **Categories:** Boundaries, Lifestyle, mental health,, Self-Awareness, Self-Care Practices, Stress Management **Tags:** burnout, stress management --- ### [8 Simple Everyday Ways to Complete the Stress Response Cycle](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/stress-response-cycle/) **Published:** April 24, 2024 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** In today’s fast-paced world, stress has become an inevitable aspect of daily life. From work deadlines to family responsibilities and societal expectations, our bodies are continuously reacting to stress triggers. However, what many overlook is that stress isn’t merely a mental state; it also manifests physically in our bodies. Understanding how our bodies react to stress empowers us to take proactive steps in completing the stress response cycle, ultimately fostering better overall well-being. In their insightful book “Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle,” Emily and Amelia Nagoski delve into the science behind stress and provide practical strategies for managing it effectively. Central to their approach is the concept of the stress response cycle, the natural process by which our bodies react to and recover from stressors. Completing this cycle is essential for restoring equilibrium and preventing chronic stress from taking its toll on our health. So, what exactly is the stress response cycle, and how can we ensure its completion? Let’s break it down: ## What is the Stress Response Cycle? When faced with a stressor, whether it’s a looming deadline or a challenging situation, our bodies initiate the stress response. This triggers a cascade of physiological changes, including the release of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, which prepare us to either fight or flee. ## What does stress do to our bodies? Alongside the mental and emotional aspects of stress, our bodies also experience physical symptoms. These can range from muscle tension and increased heart rate to shallow breathing and digestive issues. These physical manifestations are the body’s way of preparing for action, like we are ready run away from a lion or a bear! ![professional woman burnout](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/professional-woman-burnout-stress-shutterstock_2254711261.jpg) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Exhaustion-e1394567671817.jpg) ## How to complete the Stress Response Cycle The key to effectively managing stress lies in completing the stress response cycle. Because our bodies are bearing the burden of the stress response, It’s important to allow our bodies to go through the natural process of recovery after the stressor has passed. However, in today’s fast-paced world, we often fail to give ourselves the time and space needed for this recovery. ## 8 Simple Everyday Stress Releasing Steps In this section, we’ll explore simple, everyday activities that can help you effectively close the stress response cycle. These are actions you might already be doing, but by understanding their role in stress management, you can harness their power to enhance your mental and physical health. Whether it’s through familiar routines or small adjustments to your daily habits, these strategies offer practical ways to achieve a sense of calm and resilience amidst life’s challenges. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/qtq80-uu1p4D-1024x680.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/qtq80-uu1p4D.jpeg) ## **Move…** > ### ***Physical activity is the single most efficient way for completing the stress cycle.”*** > > Emily and Amelia Nagoski, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle Engaging in physical activity is a powerful way to complete the stress response cycle. Whether it’s going for a run, practicing yoga, or dancing to your favorite music, exercise helps release pent-up tension and promotes the release of endorphins, which are natural mood lifters. By getting your body moving, you allow it to process and release the physiological effects of stress, leading to a sense of renewal and well-being. ## ****Breathe…**** > *“A simple practical exercise is to breathe in for a slow count of five, hold for five, then exhale for a count of 10, and pause for another count of five.”* > > Emily and Amelia Nagoski, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle Conscious breathing techniques are invaluable for completing the stress response cycle. Deep, diaphragmatic breathing triggers the body’s relaxation response, calming the nervous system and reducing the production of stress hormones. By focusing on your breath, you can bring your attention back to the present moment, letting go of worries and tension. Even just a few minutes of mindful breathing can make a significant difference in promoting relaxation and stress relief. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/canstockphoto17485546.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/canstockphoto17485546.jpg) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Screen-Shot-2024-04-23-at-115635-PM.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Screen-Shot-2024-04-23-at-115635-PM.png) ## **Laugh…** > “*We mean belly laughs–deep, impolite, helpless laughter.”* > > Emily and Amelia Nagoski, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle Laughter is indeed potent medicine for completing the stress response cycle. It triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals, which promote relaxation and reduce stress. Sharing moments of laughter with others fosters a sense of connection and joy, helping to counteract the negative effects of stress on both the body and mind. Whether it’s watching a funny movie, sharing jokes with friends, or attending a comedy show, incorporating laughter into your life can be a powerful antidote to stress and tension. ## ****Create**** > ***“…the arts—painting, sculpting, music, theatre and storytelling in all forms—create a context that tolerates, even encourages, big emotions.”*** > > Emily and Amelia Nagoski, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle Engaging in creative expression offers another avenue for completing the stress response cycle. Whether it’s through writing, painting, music, or any other form of artistic expression, creativity allows you to channel your emotions and experiences in a constructive way. Creating something new can be deeply fulfilling and empowering, providing a sense of accomplishment and mastery. By expressing yourself creatively, you release emotional energy and find solace in the act of creation. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Play-therapy-1024x1024.jpg) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Screen-Shot-2024-04-24-at-121308-AM.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Screen-Shot-2024-04-24-at-121308-AM.png) ## ****Positive Social Interaction**** > *“Casual but friendly social interaction is the first essential sign that the world is a safe place.”* > > Emily and Amelia Nagoski, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle Positive social interaction, whether it’s sharing a genuine laugh with coworkers, enjoying a heart-to-heart conversation with a friend, or engaging in a supportive group activity, provides invaluable support for managing stress and enhancing overall well-being. These moments of connection not only uplift our spirits but also create a sense of belonging and reinforce our resilience in the face of stressors. ## **Love your Furry Friends** > “*Happily, our capacity to complete the cycle with affection doesn’t stop with other human beings.*” The simple act of petting an animal can be incredibly soothing and effective in completing the stress response cycle. Studies have shown that interacting with animals, whether it’s stroking a cat, walking a dog, or simply watching fish swim in a tank, can lower blood pressure, reduce cortisol levels, and promote relaxation. The unconditional love and nonjudgmental presence of pets provide a source of comfort and companionship, easing feelings of stress and anxiety. The rhythmic motion of petting an animal can also have a meditative quality, helping to quiet the mind and promote a sense of calm. Whether you have a furry friend of your own or spend time volunteering at an animal shelter, incorporating interactions with animals into your routine can be a valuable tool for managing stress and enhancing well-being. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/qtq80-mf3zS8-1024x683.jpeg) ## ******Cry****** > *“You may not have changed the situation that caused the stress, but you completed the cycle..”* Allowing yourself to cry is a natural and cathartic way to complete the stress response cycle. Tears contain stress hormones and toxins, so shedding them helps release built-up tension and emotional distress. Crying serves as a powerful release valve for pent-up emotions, allowing you to process and let go of stressors. Far from a sign of weakness, crying is a vital emotional release mechanism that can bring a profound sense of relief and emotional clarity. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Screen-Shot-2024-04-24-at-121148-AM.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Screen-Shot-2024-04-24-at-121148-AM.png) ## Touch > ***Hug someone you love and trust for 20 seconds, while you both are standing over your own centers of balance… Research suggests a 20-second hug can change your hormones, lower your blood pressure and heart rate, and improve mood.*** > > Emily and Amelia Nagoski, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle Expressing and receiving affection, whether through hugs, kisses, or other forms of physical touch, is a fundamental human need that plays a crucial role in completing the stress response cycle. Affectionate gestures trigger the release of oxytocin, often referred to as the “cuddle hormone,” which promotes feelings of trust, bonding, and well-being. These moments of connection help soothe the nervous system, reduce levels of stress hormones, and enhance emotional resilience. Whether it’s a warm embrace from a loved one or a gentle pat on the back, prioritizing affectionate touch nurtures our sense of connection and belonging, contributing to overall health and happiness. ***“One thing we know for sure doesn’t work: just telling yourself that everything is OK now.* ***Completing the cycle isn’t an intellectual decision; it’s a physiological shift.* ***Just as you don’t tell your heart to continue beating or your digestion to continue turning, the cycle doesn’t complete by deliberate choice. You give your body what it needs, and allow it to do what it does, and the time that it requires.”* **Emily and Amelia Nagoski**, **Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle** ## **Mindfulness and Self-Compassion** Cultivating mindfulness and self-compassion is another crucial aspect of completing the stress response cycle. By becoming more aware of our thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations, we can better recognize when we’re experiencing stress and take proactive steps to address it. Additionally, practicing self-compassion involves treating ourselves with kindness and understanding, especially during times of heightened stress. ## ****The Importance of Rest and Relaxation**** Finally, prioritizing rest and relaxation is essential for completing the stress response cycle. Whether it’s through meditation, deep breathing exercises, or simply taking time to unwind, giving ourselves permission to rest allows the body to recover fully from the physiological effects of stress. ## **What to do when you’re stuck** Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we find ourselves stuck in a cycle of extreme stress. Whether it’s chronic stress, struggles with mental health, grief, or self-destructive patterns, breaking free can feel overwhelming. These challenges can create a sense of being trapped, making it difficult to find a way out. In these instances, seeking therapy for stress management can be the best way forward. Therapy offers a growth-oriented space to explore the root causes of our stress. Through therapeutic interactions, individuals can learn effective strategies for navigating life’s challenges. With the guidance of a trained therapist, we can develop strategies to address our stressors and cultivate resilience. If you find yourself feeling stuck in a cycle of stress, know that reaching out for support is a proactive step towards regaining control and finding peace. Therapy isn’t just about venting or feeling better—it’s a journey of transformation, healing, and emerging stronger. And the results speak for themselves. Check out [our therapy outcomes](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/ "Our Clinical Outcomes") at Fuller Life to learn more. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Wellness-Coachjpg.webp) \#image\_title when stress is overwhelming ## Somatic EMDR for Stress Management Somatic EMDR offers a unique approach to stress management by focusing on the body’s physical responses. By addressing trauma stored in the nervous system, it helps individuals release tension and develop coping strategies. This gentle method promotes healing without extensive verbal recounting, making it effective for stress relief and resilience building. [Learn More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/somatic-emdr-natural-processing/) ###### clinical director ## [Amy Fuller PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S, CST-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/ "Dr. Amy Fuller, Clinical Director") Dr. Fuller is the founder and clinical director at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute in Houston, Texas. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/064_DaveAmyFullerACU-966x1024.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/6d17399acfd9b615dcc0b9c59c57e5ae8935bb0c93952030fbf48b72220e0445?s=300&r=g) Amy Fuller PhD Clinical Director Dr. Amy Fuller is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and professional counselor with over two decades of experience specializing in sex therapy, couples therapy, and trauma. She earned her master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Abilene Christian University and her PhD from St. Mary’s University. Dr. Fuller is the founder and Clinical Director of Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, a nonprofit in Houston committed to providing affordable mental health care and advanced therapist training. She is an AASECT-certified sex therapist and supervisor, known for her compassionate and evidence-based approach. Dr. Fuller serves as the Specialization Director for Sex Therapy and Trauma in the Doctor of Professional Counseling program at Kairos University, where she mentors emerging clinicians. With a passion for making therapy accessible and equipping therapists for meaningful, lasting work, Dr. Fuller integrates clinical excellence, spirituality, and cultural responsiveness into every aspect of her practice. [See Full Bio](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) [ ](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) Couples Therapy Healing Trauma Sex Therapy Mental Health Family Therapy EMDR Relationships Mindfulness [ ![social network 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](https://www.linkedin.com/in/amyfullerphd/) **Categories:** Anxiety Issues, mental health,, Self-Care Practices, Stress Management **Tags:** Burnout book, resilience, stress management, stress response cycle --- ### [The Hidden Cracks: Signs You’re in an Abusive Relationship](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-hidden-cracks-signs-youre-in-an-abusive-relationship/) **Published:** October 22, 2024 **Author:** Shayla Johnson **Excerpt:** Over time, these initial "cracks" in behavior become more noticeable. The abuser may begin to apologize, often with gifts or affection, only to repeat the behavior later. As the relationship continues, these behaviors intensify, and the victim may feel trapped and powerless. **Content:** October marks Domestic Violence Awareness Month, also known as Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) Awareness Month. This blog will help guide you through the warning signs of domestic violence and recognize behaviors in a partner that could become abusive. Understanding these signs can help you avoid falling into the cycle of an abusive relationship. Remember, intimate partner violence can happen to anyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. ## **Why the Term “Intimate Partner Violence”?** You might wonder why “intimate partner violence” is often used instead of “domestic violence.” Domestic violence generally refers to violence between individuals living in the same household. However, studies show that violence can occur outside the home, which is why “intimate partner violence” includes relationships where the partners do not cohabitate. This term encompasses various forms of abuse, including emotional, spiritual, financial, physical, and sexual violence, as well as stalking and harassment. ## ****Types of Abuse in Intimate Partner Violence**** Abuse takes many forms and is not limited to physical violence. Common forms of abuse include: - **Emotional abuse:** Manipulation, control, gaslighting, and verbal abuse that tear down a person’s self-worth. - **Financial abuse:** Controlling access to money, leaving the victim financially dependent. - **Physical abuse:** Hitting, slapping, and other violent acts. - **Sexual abuse:** Coercing or manipulating someone into sexual acts without their consent. - **Spiritual abuse:** Using a person’s beliefs to control or manipulate them. These behaviors are all forms of intimate partner violence and aim to exert control over their partner. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/qtq80-RaHeEG-1024x683.jpeg) ## ******The Manipulative Tactics of Abusers****** Most abusers don’t start showing abusive behavior right away. In fact, they often begin by “love bombing”—showering their partner with compliments, gifts, and grand gestures of affection. This initial phase can make the partner feel cherished and special, but it is a tactic to gain control. Abusers gradually isolate their partners, encouraging them to depend solely on them for emotional, financial, and social support. They might encourage their partner to quit their job, limit contact with friends and family, and plant ideas that make them feel like they have no other support system. As this control deepens, the abuser’s true nature begins to show through cracks in the facade—first subtle temper outbursts, then more overt displays of anger and control. ## **Recognizing the Cracks in the Foundation** Over time, these initial “cracks” in behavior become more noticeable. The abuser may begin to apologize, often with gifts or affection, only to repeat the behavior later. As the relationship continues, these behaviors intensify, and their partner may feel trapped and powerless. resource video## Intimate Partner Violence Awarenss Fuller Life Therapist Shayla Johnson talks about the importance of intimate partner violence awareness. ![IPV awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Shaylo-on-IPV-oct-2024.png) [](#) ## **Reflecting on Self and Building a Solid Foundation** Now that we’ve explored what signs to look for in a partner, it’s equally important to reflect on ourselves. Why might someone end up in an abusive relationship? Often, individuals who experience intimate partner violence may not have a solid sense of self from the start. A strong sense of self means standing firm in your beliefs, values, and who you are, without relying on others for validation. When you have this foundation, the opinions of others are secondary to your own inner truth. Reflect on the following questions: - Do you show compassion and kindness to yourself? - Are you able to stand alone in your beliefs, even when someone disagrees? - Can you be content with your own company and emotions? If you find yourself questioning these areas, take the time to explore them further. Cultivating a strong sense of self can help prevent falling into toxic or abusive relationships. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/1FzJJEWbXaznADton0Zt5zg-1024x683.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/1FzJJEWbXaznADton0Zt5zg.jpg) ## ****You Can Rebuild**** Even if you find yourself in an abusive relationship, it is important to remember that your life is not over. You can rebuild. Although it may be difficult, it is possible to restore your self-esteem and confidence. Seeking help from a therapist, joining a support group, or reaching out to others who have experienced similar situations can help you on the road to recovery. Rebuilding your life is within your reach, and you deserve to live free from abuse. ###### Resident Therapist ## [Shayla Johnson](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/ "Shayla Johnson") ![Shayla Johnson](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-headshot-19.png) [![Fuller Life Logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Logo-high-res.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) ## **Looking for Affordable Therapy in Houston?** [Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) provides [affordable therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") in Houston for [individuals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/ "Individual Therapy"), [couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/), [kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/), [teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/), [groups](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) and [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) within an [intensive training](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/ "Train with Us") program. With [sliding scale](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") options and five convenient [locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/), care is accessible without compromising [clinical excellence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/ "Our Clinical Outcomes"). We provide specialized treatment with [Somatic EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/somatic-emdr-natural-processing/), [Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-therapy-2/), [Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sand-therapy/), [Art and Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/). [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/)[Our Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/)[Our Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ## More articles by our professional therapists about grief: - [ ![Hands touching a glass surface outdoors with trees reflecting, creating a serene ambiance.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/hands-touching-a-glass-surface-outdoors-with-trees-reflecting-creating-a-serene-ambiance.-9702267-768x891.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-confrontation-the-key-to-growth-without-shame/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [mental health,](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health-3/) | [Self-Esteem](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/self-esteem/) ## [Self-Confrontation: The Key to Growth Without Shame](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-confrontation-the-key-to-growth-without-shame/) [ Read More Self-Confrontation: The Key to Growth Without ShameContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-confrontation-the-key-to-growth-without-shame/) - [ ![Waking up and self-awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Blog-Banner-Image-lake-768x432.png) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-regulation-in-relationships-how-to-improve-communication-and-emotional-control/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) ## [Self-Regulation in Relationships: How to Improve Communication and Emotional Control](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-regulation-in-relationships-how-to-improve-communication-and-emotional-control/) [ Read More Self-Regulation in Relationships: How to Improve Communication and Emotional ControlContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-regulation-in-relationships-how-to-improve-communication-and-emotional-control/) - [ ![how to grow strong relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Tree-image-for-grow-relationships-blog-768x432.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/strong-relationships-solid-self/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Intimacy & Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/intimacy-sex-therapy/) | [Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/) | [Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/) | [Self-Development](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-development/) ## [What It Takes to Grow Strong Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/strong-relationships-solid-self/) [ Read More What It Takes to Grow Strong RelationshipsContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/strong-relationships-solid-self/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-headshot-19.png) Shayla Johnson Resident Therapist As a professional with a Master of Arts in Counseling and a Master’s in Divinity from the Houston Graduate School of Theology, and licensed as a Professional Counselor Associate, I am dedicated to supporting you in your journey of self-discovery. I firmly believe that the answers we seek are within. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) Mental Health EMDR Art Therapy Self Compassion **Categories:** Counseling, Couples, Domestic Violence, Emotions and Relationships, Relationships, Trauma and Loss --- ### [Holiday Connection: How to Be Present with Your Partner](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/holiday-connection-how-to-be-present-with-your-partner/) **Published:** December 22, 2024 **Author:** Nicole Thompson **Excerpt:** The holiday season is the perfect time to be present with your partner. While many couples spend more time together during the holidays, some may feel disconnected, even when physically present. **Content:** The holiday season is the perfect time to be present with your partner. While many couples spend more time together during the holidays, some may feel disconnected, even when physically present. It’s important to remember that true connection comes from being emotionally and mentally engaged—not just sharing the same space. If you’ve ever felt like your partner is “there but not there,” you’re not alone. Let’s explore how to cultivate true presence in your relationship and make this holiday season extra special. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/young-African-American-couple-1024x682.jpg) ## ****What Does True Presence Look Like in Relationships?**** When your partner says you’re not “present,” it often means they’re craving more intentional, focused time together. Being present isn’t just about being physically close—it’s about emotional and mental engagement. True presence involves: - Listening actively and without distractions. - Asking meaningful questions to learn more about your partner. - Showing empathy and understanding their feelings. By being emotionally attuned, you show them they are valued, strengthening your connection. ## ******7 Practical Ways to Be Present with Your Partner****** 1\. **Practice Active Listening** Active listening means focusing fully on your partner without planning your response or letting your mind wander. Let them know they have your full attention by paraphrasing what they share and asking thoughtful follow-up questions. #### 2. **Ask Open-Ended Questions** Deepen your connection by asking questions like, “What was the highlight of your day?” or “How do you feel about…?” These prompts spark meaningful conversations and help you learn more about each other. #### 3. **Unplug to Reconnect** Put away distractions like phones or laptops when spending time together. This small but powerful act shows your partner they are your priority. #### 4. **Be Mindful in the Moment** Focus on being fully present in each interaction. Pay attention to your partner’s words, emotions, and nonverbal cues. Let go of outside worries and immerse yourself in the here and now. #### 5. **Show Empathy and Validation** Even if you don’t fully understand your partner’s feelings, acknowledge and validate them. Simple phrases like, “I hear you,” or “That makes sense,” show that you care about their emotional experience. #### 6. **Use Nonverbal Communication** Nonverbal cues like eye contact, nodding, and open body language show you’re engaged and present. These subtle gestures can deepen your connection and foster trust. #### 7. **Plan Intentional Quality Time** Create special moments together by planning intentional activities. Even small acts like a “15-minute date” or a cozy evening without distractions can go a long way in building your bond ## **How Presence Deepens Intimacy** Being emotionally and physically present during intimate moments fosters deeper connection and satisfaction. Here’s how to be more present during intimacy: - **Engage Your Senses**: Focus on touch, sound, and emotions to stay grounded in the moment. - **Let Go of Distractions**: Set aside any lingering thoughts or worries. - **Practice Mindfulness**: If your mind wanders, gently bring your attention back to your partner. When you’re fully engaged, intimacy becomes more meaningful and fulfilling for both partners. ### *when you’re fully engaged, intimacy becomes more meaningful for both partners.* ## **Strengthen Your Bond by giving the gift of Presence** Being present is one of the greatest gifts you can give your partner. It fosters deeper emotional connection, improves communication, and enhances intimacy. By practicing mindfulness, active listening, and meaningful engagement, you can create a thriving relationship that stands the test of time. This holiday season, commit to being fully present with your partner. Whether it’s through small daily moments or special planned activities, your efforts will transform your connection and leave lasting memories. [![gift of presence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/qtq80-aYUNUV-1024x896.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/qtq80-aYUNUV.jpeg) ## [Our Present of Presence Campaign](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/presence/ "THE PRESENT OF PRESENCE") At Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, we believe that the most valuable gift we can offer—whether in our personal relationships or in therapy—is our presence. This holiday season, we invite you to help us bring that gift to more people in Houston by supporting our *“Present of Presence”* campaign. Our goal is to raise $20,000 to provide therapy to individuals who may not otherwise have access to it. Through the power of therapeutic presence, we can offer healing and support to those in need. Your donation, no matter the size, will help us provide this life-changing gift to more Houstonians. Join us in making this holiday season one of connection, compassion, and presence. [**Donate now** ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/presence/ "THE PRESENT OF PRESENCE")to help us reach our goal and make therapy accessible for all. Together, we can create a different kind of holiday—one that’s filled with presence, healing, and hope. The Present of Presence ###### Resident Therapist ## [Nicole Thompson, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/nicole-thompson/ "Nicole Thompson, LPC-A") ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/FL-Headshot-Round-Nicole.png) [Nicole Thompson, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/nicole-thompson/) [![Fuller Life Logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Logo-high-res.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) ## **Looking for Affordable Therapy in Houston?** [Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) provides [affordable therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") in Houston for [individuals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/ "Individual Therapy"), [couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/), [kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/), [teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/), [groups](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) and [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) within an [intensive training](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/ "Train with Us") program. With [sliding scale](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") options and five convenient [locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/), care is accessible without compromising [clinical excellence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/ "Our Clinical Outcomes"). We provide specialized treatment with [Somatic EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/somatic-emdr-natural-processing/), [Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-therapy-2/), [Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sand-therapy/), [Art and Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/). [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/)[Our Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/)[Our Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ## More articles by our professional therapists about presence: - [ ![mindful moments in nature](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/qtq80-eq7W8T-768x512.jpeg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-moments-in-nature-how-to-be-well/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) | [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) ## [Mindful Moments in Nature: How to Be Well](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-moments-in-nature-how-to-be-well/) [ Read More Mindful Moments in Nature: How to Be WellContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-moments-in-nature-how-to-be-well/) - [ ![Vibrant 3D rendering depicting the complexity of neural networks.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/vibrant-3d-rendering-depicting-the-complexity-of-neural-networks.-17484975-768x482.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-calm-an-overactive-brain-after-trauma/) [Anxiety & Panic](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/anxiety/) | [Art Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/art-therapy/) | [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/emdr/) | [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) | [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) | [Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) | [The Human Brain](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/the-human-brain/) | [Trauma and Loss](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/) ## [How to Calm an Overactive Brain After Trauma](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-calm-an-overactive-brain-after-trauma/) [ Read More How to Calm an Overactive Brain After TraumaContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-calm-an-overactive-brain-after-trauma/) - [ ![truly present this holiday](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/qtq80-oaLdYj-768x538.jpeg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/be-present-stress-free-holiday/) [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) | [Stress Management](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/stress-management/) ## [Be Present: 6 Simple Ways to Create a Stress-Free Holiday](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/be-present-stress-free-holiday/) [ Read More Be Present: 6 Simple Ways to Create a Stress-Free HolidayContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/be-present-stress-free-holiday/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/FL-Headshot-Round-Nicole.png) Nicole Thompson I hold a master's degree in counseling psychology from Capella University and marriage and family therapy from Capella and Houston Christian University, respectively. I am a Prepare/Enrich and Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts (SYMBIS) facilitator which I use in my work with couples preparing for marriage. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapy Associate under the supervision of Amy Fuller PhD, LMFT, LPC. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/nicolethompson/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/nicolethompson/) Mental Health Sand Therapy EMDR Couples Therapy **Categories:** Couples, Empathy, Intimacy & Sex Therapy, Marriage, Relationships **Tags:** holiday season --- ### [Teen Moms and Mental Health: What You Need to Know](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/teen-moms-and-mental-health-what-you-need-to-know/) **Published:** January 30, 2025 **Author:** Dr. Chantail Green **Content:** Mental Health issues are 4 times higher for young mothers, according to the starkly alarming article by Medindia, with almost 40% of teen moms facing more than one mental health issue such as depression, anxiety or hyperactivity. This high prevalence of mental health issues among teenage mothers is a cause for immediate concern. ([Iswarya, 2020](https://www.medindia.net/news/mental-health-issues-four-times-higher-in-young-mothers-193323-1.htm)) ## **What is Teen Pregnancy?** Teen pregnancy refers to pregnancies that occur between puberty and age 19. These pregnancies often involve young women who are not yet legally adults, a status that varies by jurisdiction. ([Ravi, 2008](https://www.medindia.net/news/lifestyleandwellness/teen-pregnancy-34940-1.htm?utm_source=medindia&utm_medium=widget&utm_content=&utm_campaign=punchline)) ![Teen Pregnancy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/White-Teen-Pregnancy-1-1024x576.png)Teen Pregnancy **Relatability:** This topic hit close to home for me. I was a teen mother and recalled the mental pressure I was under at a very young age. I did not know the first thing about being a mother or mental health; I knew that I felt sad, isolated, and very profoundly ashamed of myself and how I misrepresented my family. The Texas Tribune wrote an article stating that “More than 1 in 6 teenagers who gave birth in Texas in 2020 already had a child. Texas does not require sex education and has the strictest abortion law in the nation” ([Klibanoff, E & Cai, M. 2022](https://www.texastribune.org/2022/02/21/texas-teenage-pregnancy-abortion/)). **Racial & Ethical Disparities** Unfortunately, racial and ethnic disparities make certain groups more vulnerable. “…\[B\]lack and Latina girls are more than twice as likely as white girls to become pregnant before they leave adolescence. ([Wiltz, 2015](https://stateline.org/2015/03/03/racial-and-ethnic-disparities-persist-in-teen-pregnancy-rates/)) **Teenage Moms & Depression** Several studies suggest that adolescent mothers experience significantly higher rates of depression, both prenatally and postpartum, than adult mothers and their nonpregnant peers. Among adolescent mothers, rates of depression are estimated to be between 16% and 44% ([Akter, M. 2019](https://www.scirp.org/journal/paperinformation?paperid=89993#:~:text=Among%20adolescent%20mothers%2C%20rates%20of,and%2020%25%20%5B11%5D%20.)). [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Black-Teen-Pregnancy-2-2-1024x576.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Black-Teen-Pregnancy-2-2.png) **Teen Moms & Postpartum Depression** Postpartum depression (PPD) is a severe condition that extends beyond the typical ‘baby blues,’ which usually subside within two weeks. It’s imperative to seek medical help if you or someone you know is experiencing PPD. Teen mothers, in particular, are at a higher risk and are twice as likely as adult mothers to develop PPD. Early intervention addresses this issue ([Nall, R., 2016](https://www.healthline.com/health/pregnancy/teenage-pregnancy-effects)). > “It is estimated that 20% of pregnant people suffer from mood or anxiety disorders during pregnancy. However, researchers found that teens ranging from 15 to 19 years old experienced postpartum depression at a rate that was twice as high as people aged 25 and older.” ([Hennepin Healthcare, 2023](https://www.hennepinhealthcare.org/blog/teen-pregnancy-and-mental-health/)) **Teen Moms & Suicidal Ideation** Suicide is one of the leading causes of death among female adolescents. A greater risk is seen among adolescent mothers who become pregnant outside marriage and consider suicide as the solution to unresolved problems. **Factors to Reduce Mental Health Issues** When teen moms have a sound support system from family, friends, and/or the baby’s father, the mother’s risk is reduced. Another crucial factor in reducing mental health challenges in the life of teenage moms is an income to support themselves and their children. This often starts with completing high school, a significant milestone that not only opens doors to higher education but also significantly reduces the risk of mental health challenges. ## Resources [![HRSA maternal health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Screenshot-2024-12-17-at-104931 PM.png)](https://mchb.hrsa.gov/programs-impact/national-maternal-mental-health-hotline#:~:text=%2C%2024/7.-,1%2D833%2DTLC%2DMAMA,Tap%20to%20unmute) [The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline is free, confidential, and here to help, 24/7.](https://mchb.hrsa.gov/programs-impact/national-maternal-mental-health-hotline#:~:text=%2C%2024/7.-,1%2D833%2DTLC%2DMAMA,Tap%20to%20unmute) [Find out more](https://mchb.hrsa.gov/programs-impact/national-maternal-mental-health-hotline#:~:text=%2C%2024/7.-,1%2D833%2DTLC%2DMAMA,Tap%20to%20unmute) [![Texas pregnancy network](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Screenshot-2024-12-17-at-104957 PM.png)](https://texaspregnancy.org) Visit the [Texas Pregnancy Care Network](https://www.texaspregnancy.org/). Website to find a provider in your area. [Help in your area](https://helpinyourarea.com/texas/) \*[May is National Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month](https://www.plannedparenthood.org/planned-parenthood-massachusetts/education/parent-buzz-newsletter/parent-buzz-e-newsletters/may-national-teen-pregnancy-prevention-month-its-time-talk). · Visit [other MCH web pages](https://www.dshs.texas.gov/maternal-child-health/healthy-texas-mothers-babies/moms-to-be/resources-moms-moms-to) for additional resources. [![Fuller Life Logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Logo-high-res.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) ## **Looking for Affordable Therapy in Houston?** [Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) provides [affordable therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") in Houston for [individuals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/ "Individual Therapy"), [couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/), [kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/), [teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/), [groups](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) and [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) within an [intensive training](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/ "Train with Us") program. With [sliding scale](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") options and five convenient [locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/), care is accessible without compromising [clinical excellence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/ "Our Clinical Outcomes"). We provide specialized treatment with [Somatic EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/somatic-emdr-natural-processing/), [Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-therapy-2/), [Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sand-therapy/), [Art and Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/). [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/)[Our Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/)[Our Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Chantail-Green-FL-Headshot-e1630912730614-edited.jpg) Dr. Chantail Green Clinical Therapist [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/chantail-green/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/chantail-green/) Sex Therapy Relationships Couples Therapy **Categories:** Adolescents & Children, Depression, Mental Health, Post Partum Depression, Suicide Awareness (Crisis Info) **Tags:** Teen Mom & Mental Health, Teen pregnancy, Young Mothers &Mental Health --- ### [Breaking the Silence: Practical Steps to Overcome Mental Health Stigma](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mental-health-stigma/) **Published:** May 7, 2025 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Excerpt:** Reducing mental health stigma isn't just about shifting perceptions; it's about saving lives and opening doors to healing. **Content:** *Imagine living in a world…* where you hesitate to call for help during a medical emergency—not because you don’t need it, but because you’re afraid of what people might think. Now, imagine that emergency is happening inside your mind. This is the reality for millions living with mental health challenges. Despite growing awareness, stigma remains one of the biggest barriers to seeking help. It’s time to break the silence. ![Artistic blurred grayscale portrait capturing motion and emotion.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/artistic-blurred-grayscale-portrait-capturing-motion-and-emotion.-3326738-707x1024.jpg) ## **********What is Mental Health Stigma?********** Mental health stigma is the misunderstanding, fear, and judgment that surrounds mental health conditions. It manifests in two main ways: **public stigma**—the negative stereotypes held by society, and **self-stigma**—the internalized shame that individuals feel about their struggles. Both forms contribute to isolation and hesitation to seek help. Stigma is not only shaped by society but also by families and cultural norms. In some families, talking about mental health is taboo, viewed as a weakness or moral failing. Cultural beliefs can also play a role; in some communities, mental health struggles are seen as something to “tough out,” rather than seek help for. These layers of stigma can make it even harder for individuals to come forward, especially when facing pressure to conform to family or community expectations. Stigma is powerful. It silences conversations, delays treatment, and isolates people when they need connection the most. Breaking that silence is not just important—it’s life-changing. ## ****Is Mental Health Stigma Real?**** The impact of stigma is not just emotional—it’s quantifiable. Here are some striking statistics that highlight how stigma prevents people from seeking help: - **60% of Adults with Mental Health Conditions Do Not Receive Care:** According to [NAMI](https://nami.org/mhstats), a majority of adults facing mental health challenges never seek treatment, often due to fear of judgment. - **58% of Individuals Fear Others’ Perceptions:** A survey by [Rethink Mental Illness](https://www.rethink.org/news-and-stories/media-centre/2023/05/stigma-effect-stops-three-in-five-people-experiencing-mental-illness-from-seeking-help-survey-reveals) found that more than half of those with mental health conditions avoid seeking support because of how others might perceive them. - **84.7% Intend to Seek Help but Don’t Follow Through:** A study published in [BMC Psychiatry](https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12888-021-03435-4) revealed that while many intend to seek professional help, only **22.5% actually do**, highlighting the paralyzing effect of stigma. ### Reducing mental health stigma is more than just changing minds—it’s opening doors to healing, breaking cycles of silence, and saving lives.**.** ## ****Why Reduce Mental Health Stigma?**** Reducing mental health stigma isn’t just about shifting perceptions; it’s about saving lives and opening doors to healing. Here’s why it matters: - **Encourages Help-Seeking Behavior:** When stigma is reduced, more people feel safe reaching out for support. Mental health becomes something to manage—not to hide. - **Fosters Empathy and Understanding:** Reducing stigma helps others view mental health challenges with compassion instead of judgment, promoting a culture where asking for help is normalized. - **Prevents Isolation and Hopelessness:** Stigma often pushes people into silence, away from the support they need. By breaking down barriers, we help those struggling feel seen and valued. - **Promotes Early Intervention:** The sooner mental health conditions are addressed, the more effective treatment can be. Reducing stigma accelerates that crucial first step. ## ****What You Can Do to Reduce Mental Health Stigma**** Change begins with us. Here are actionable steps to be part of the solution: 1. **Educate Yourself:** Understanding the reality of mental health conditions helps dismantle myths and empowers you to speak truthfully. Explore these reliable sources: [National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)](https://nami.org/), [Mental Health America (MHA)](https://mhanational.org/), [National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)](https://nimh.nih.gov/) 2. **Start Conversations:** Talk about mental health openly and without judgment. Ask questions, listen deeply, and normalize discussions around mental well-being. 3. **Watch Your Language:** Words matter. Avoid phrases like “crazy,” “insane,” or “mental case” perpetuate stigma. Instead, say: 4. **Be Supportive:** Small acts of kindness—like checking in or listening without judgment—can make a massive difference. Let people know they are not alone. 5. **Challenge Stigma When You See It:** If you hear someone using stigmatizing language or perpetuating stereotypes, gently correct them. Normalize standing up for mental health awareness. 6. **Lead by Example:** Share your own experiences if you feel comfortable. Vulnerability reduces stigma and encourages others to seek help. 7. **Share Mental Health Resources Online:** Use your platform to spread reliable information from verified resources: [Mind](https://www.mind.org.uk/), [YoungMinds](https://www.youngminds.org.uk/), [Rethink Mental Illness](https://www.rethink.org/), [Mental Health America](https://mhanational.org/). Here’s an [Action Guide.](https://mhanational.org/mental-health-month/action-guide/) from MHA. 8. **Support Mental Health Initiatives:** Advocate for mental health programs in workplaces, schools, and communities. Encourage the establishment of Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) and access to counseling. 9. **Educate Others:** Host or attend workshops, seminars, or webinars that focus on mental health awareness. Spreading accurate information is a powerful antidote to stigma. ## **The Other Barrier: Mental Health Care Cost** While stigma is a major barrier, the **cost of mental health care** is often the silent wall that keeps people from getting the support they desperately need. Imagine knowing that help is available, but the financial burden makes it feel unreachable. This is the reality for many individuals and families. At Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, we believe that no one should have to choose between mental health and financial stability. To make this vision possible, we rely on a compassionate community of monthly donors—our **Fuller Life GEMS** (who Give Every Month). ## Would you become a Fuller Life GEM? Every GEM provides vital support, ensuring that finances are never a barrier to healing. Through your contribution, you can be the reason someone finds hope, healing, and strength. Whether it’s $25 or $100 a month, your partnership changes lives. **Join 44 other Fuller Life GEMS today and help us make mental health care is available to all** and shine as a beacon of hope. [Become a GEM today](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gem/) ![gems appreciation dinners 2025](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/4.png) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/2.png) ## ******Breaking the Silence, One Conversation at a Time****** Reducing mental health stigma is more than just changing minds—it’s opening doors to healing, breaking cycles of silence, and saving lives. By taking small steps every day, we can contribute to a world where seeking mental health support is not an act of courage but a natural, accepted part of life. The time to start is now. Let’s break the silence together. ## Amy Fuller, PhD ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Amy-Fuller-Selfie-Headshot-5-9-24.jpeg) Amy Fuller, PhD ## **References:** - National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). (n.d.). *Mental health by the numbers*. Retrieved May 7, 2025, from - Rethink Mental Illness. (2023, May). *Stigma effect stops three in five people experiencing mental illness from seeking help: Survey reveals*. Retrieved May 7, 2025, from [https://www.rethink.org](https://www.rethink.org/) - BMC Psychiatry. (2021). *Barriers to help-seeking for serious mental illness: Intentions vs. actions*. Retrieved May 7, 2025, from ## More articles by our professional therapists about presence: - [ ![mindful moments in nature](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/qtq80-eq7W8T-768x512.jpeg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-moments-in-nature-how-to-be-well/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) | [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) ## [Mindful Moments in Nature: How to Be Well](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-moments-in-nature-how-to-be-well/) [ Read More Mindful Moments in Nature: How to Be WellContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-moments-in-nature-how-to-be-well/) - [ ![Vibrant 3D rendering depicting the complexity of neural networks.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/vibrant-3d-rendering-depicting-the-complexity-of-neural-networks.-17484975-768x482.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-calm-an-overactive-brain-after-trauma/) [Anxiety & Panic](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/anxiety/) | [Art Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/art-therapy/) | [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/emdr/) | [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) | [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) | [Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) | [The Human Brain](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/the-human-brain/) | [Trauma and Loss](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/) ## [How to Calm an Overactive Brain After Trauma](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-calm-an-overactive-brain-after-trauma/) [ Read More How to Calm an Overactive Brain After TraumaContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-calm-an-overactive-brain-after-trauma/) - [ ![truly present this holiday](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/qtq80-oaLdYj-768x538.jpeg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/be-present-stress-free-holiday/) [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) | [Stress Management](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/stress-management/) ## [Be Present: 6 Simple Ways to Create a Stress-Free Holiday](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/be-present-stress-free-holiday/) [ Read More Be Present: 6 Simple Ways to Create a Stress-Free HolidayContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/be-present-stress-free-holiday/) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/6d17399acfd9b615dcc0b9c59c57e5ae8935bb0c93952030fbf48b72220e0445?s=300&r=g) Amy Fuller PhD Clinical Director Dr. Amy Fuller is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and professional counselor with over two decades of experience specializing in sex therapy, couples therapy, and trauma. She earned her master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Abilene Christian University and her PhD from St. Mary’s University. Dr. Fuller is the founder and Clinical Director of Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, a nonprofit in Houston committed to providing affordable mental health care and advanced therapist training. She is an AASECT-certified sex therapist and supervisor, known for her compassionate and evidence-based approach. Dr. Fuller serves as the Specialization Director for Sex Therapy and Trauma in the Doctor of Professional Counseling program at Kairos University, where she mentors emerging clinicians. With a passion for making therapy accessible and equipping therapists for meaningful, lasting work, Dr. Fuller integrates clinical excellence, spirituality, and cultural responsiveness into every aspect of her practice. [See Full Bio](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) [ ](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) Couples Therapy Healing Trauma Sex Therapy Mental Health Family Therapy EMDR Relationships Mindfulness [ ![social network 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](https://www.linkedin.com/in/amyfullerphd/) **Categories:** Addiction & Recovery, Counseling, Mental Health **Tags:** mental health, stigma --- ### [Therapy and Spirituality: A Powerful Duo for Healing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapy-and-spirituality-a-powerful-duo-for-healing/) **Published:** July 13, 2025 **Author:** Nicole Thompson **Excerpt:** In many Black and Brown communities, the church is more than just a building—it’s a home, a safe space, and a strong source of support... **Content:** In many **Black and Brown communities**, the church is more than just a building—it’s a home, a safe space, and a strong source of support. For generations, **faith** has helped people face life’s hardest moments, offering **hope, strength, and connection**. But when it comes to **mental health**, many still struggle in silence. **Stigma**, **[misunderstandings about therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/10-misperceptions-effective-therapy/ "10 Ways Your (Mis)Perceptions of Therapy Are Holding You Back")**, and the belief that faith alone should be enough often stop people from getting the care they need. The truth is, **faith and therapy can work together** to bring powerful healing. ## **Faith as a Source of Strength** Faith is deeply important in the lives of many people of color. Spiritual practices—like **prayer, reading sacred texts**, and **meditation**—can bring peace during emotional pain. Churches offer a sense of **belonging**, especially during hard times. Research shows that being part of a faith community can: - Reduce stress - Encourage healthy coping - Improve overall health Still, while faith brings comfort, it can’t replace the care of a trained **mental health professional**—especially for serious mental health issues like **depression, anxiety, or PTSD**. ![prayer](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/a-group-of-people-raising-hands-in-a-black-and-white-concert-setting-showing-unity-and-celebration.-2014775-scaled.jpg) ![Close-up of diverse hands holding each other in a symbol of unity and togetherness.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/close-up-of-diverse-hands-holding-each-other-in-a-symbol-of-unity-and-togetherness.-5684382-1024x683.jpg) ## **Where Churches Need More Support** Churches are loving spaces, but many are **not fully equipped** to handle mental health challenges. Here are some common gaps: - **Lack of Training**: Most pastors and church leaders aren’t trained to recognize signs of mental illness. - **Over-Spiritualizing Mental Health**: Some believe that prayer alone can “heal” mental health issues, which may delay real treatment. - **Ongoing Stigma**: Many still view mental illness as a sign of weak faith or personal failure. This makes it hard for people to speak openly or seek help. These challenges don’t come from a lack of love—but from a need for more **mental health education and support**. ## ****How Churches and Therapists Can Work Together**** To serve **Black and Brown communities** better, we need both **faith** and **mental health support**—not one or the other. Here’s how we can move forward: ### 1. **Clergy as First Responders** Pastors are often the first people someone turns to in a crisis. With proper training, clergy can: - Spot signs of mental distress - Offer short-term emotional support - Refer individuals to **licensed therapists** when needed ### 2. **Therapists Who Respect Faith** Mental health providers should **honor spiritual beliefs**, not ignore them. When therapy respects a person’s faith, it builds trust and helps healing go deeper. ### 3. **Shared Goals, Shared Healing** Both pastors and therapists want the same thing: to help people heal and grow. By working together, they can create a stronger, more **culturally sensitive support system**. --- ## ## **True healing** in Black and Brown communities happens when we connect the power of faith with the tools of therapy.. ![A focused therapy discussion between a male client and female therapist in a serene office.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/a-focused-therapy-discussion-between-a-male-client-and-female-therapist-in-a-serene-office.-5699487-scaled.jpg) ## ******Changing the Story Around Faith and Mental Health****** In many churches, people still see going to therapy as a sign of weak faith. But we need to change that story. Getting therapy is not a lack of faith—it’s a brave step toward healing. We visit doctors when we’re physically sick. In the same way, it’s okay—and important—to seek therapy when we’re emotionally hurting. Churches should be **safe places** where these conversations happen without shame. Likewise, therapists should be trained to work **with faith leaders**, not around them. This ensures that care is **culturally and spiritually aligned** with each person’s needs. ## **Conclusion: Healing is Stronger When We Work Together** **True healing** in Black and Brown communities happens when we connect the power of faith with the tools of therapy. The church has a beautiful role to play—not by replacing mental health care, but by supporting it. By working together, **pastors and therapists can break stigma, build trust**, and create safe spaces where people feel seen, heard, and supported. Let’s build **a bridge between the pulpit and the therapy room**—so healing can reach every heart, mind, and spirit. ###### Resident Therapist ## [Nicole Thompson](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/nicole-thompson/ "Nicole Thompson") ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/FL-Headshot-Round-Nicole.png) [Nicole Thompson, LPC-A](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/nicole-thompson/) ## More articles by our professional therapists about spirituality: - [ ![When Grief and Spirituality Intersect](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/canstockphoto7885910-1-768x492.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/grief-spirituality-intersect/) [Depression](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/depression/) | [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) | [Spirituality](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/spirituality/) | [Trauma and Loss](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/) ## [When Grief and Spirituality Intersect](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/grief-spirituality-intersect/) [ Read More When Grief and Spirituality IntersectContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/grief-spirituality-intersect/) - [ ![Create & Grow Healthy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/canstockphoto56864868-768x513.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/creating-a-better-you/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) | [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) | [Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) | [Spirituality](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/spirituality/) | [Sticky](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/sticky/) | [Stress Management](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/stress-management/) ## [Create & Grow Healthy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/creating-a-better-you/) [ Read More Create & Grow HealthyContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/creating-a-better-you/) - [ ![9 Steps for Coping with Unemployment Anxiety](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/9-Steps-for-Coping-With-Unemployment-Anxiety-768x512.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/steps-unemployment-anxiety/) [Cognitive Reframing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/cognitive-reframing-3/) | [Gratitude](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/gratitude/) | [Self-Esteem](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/self-esteem/) | [Spirituality](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/spirituality/) | [Unemployment](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/unemployment/) ## [9 Steps for Coping with Unemployment Anxiety](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/steps-unemployment-anxiety/) [ Read More 9 Steps for Coping with Unemployment AnxietyContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/steps-unemployment-anxiety/) [![Fuller Life Logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Logo-high-res.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) ## **Looking for Affordable Therapy in Houston?** [Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) provides [affordable therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") in Houston for [individuals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/ "Individual Therapy"), [couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/), [kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/), [teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/), [groups](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) and [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) within an [intensive training](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/ "Train with Us") program. With [sliding scale](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") options and five convenient [locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/), care is accessible without compromising [clinical excellence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/ "Our Clinical Outcomes"). We provide specialized treatment with [Somatic EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/somatic-emdr-natural-processing/), [Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-therapy-2/), [Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sand-therapy/), [Art and Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/). [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/)[Our Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/)[Our Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/FL-Headshot-Round-Nicole.png) Nicole Thompson I hold a master's degree in counseling psychology from Capella University and marriage and family therapy from Capella and Houston Christian University, respectively. I am a Prepare/Enrich and Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts (SYMBIS) facilitator which I use in my work with couples preparing for marriage. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapy Associate under the supervision of Amy Fuller PhD, LMFT, LPC. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/nicolethompson/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/nicolethompson/) Mental Health Sand Therapy EMDR Couples Therapy **Categories:** Counseling, Partnership, Spirituality --- ### [What It Takes to Grow Strong Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/strong-relationships-solid-self/) **Published:** February 15, 2026 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Excerpt:** Strong relationships don’t grow by accident. They don’t grow from more empathy, better conflict strategies, or even better communication skills. Some people assume strong relationships are built on a sense of safety and security. They aren't. Strong relationships grow from something deeper **Content:** Strong relationships don’t grow by accident. They don’t grow from more empathy, better conflict strategies, or even better communication skills. Some people assume strong relationships are built on a sense of safety and security. They aren’t. Strong relationships grow from something deeper…a solid sense of Self. Without it, people become reactive. Disappointment sparks defensiveness. Disagreement leads to shutdown. Distance creates panic. Instead of staying steady, we try to control the tension, and over time the relationship becomes more about keeping things calm than growing strong. In my work as a couples, family, and sex therapist, I see again and again that struggles with intimacy, conflict, and desire are less about communication and more about an underdeveloped sense of Self. Many adults are navigating intimate relationships using strategies that worked in childhood but do not help adult intimacy. And here’s the part most people don’t realize: intimate relationships provide the very pressure that has the potential to prompt this kind of development. If you want to grow a strong relationship, you don’t start by fixing the other person. You start by growing yourself up. ## **********What We Mean by a “Self”********** When we talk about a Self, we’re not talking about confidence, self-esteem, or a strong personality. We’re talking about something sturdier. A solid sense of Self in relationships means we know what we think and feel…and we can hold onto that when someone we love is upset, disappointed, or wants us to be different. It looks like: - feeling strong emotions without being taken over by them - disagreeing without falling apart - connecting with others deeply without losing ourselves - being able to stay with something challenging because it matters Here’s the paradox: the more solid we are, the more flexible we can be. When we’re unclear about who we are, we either give in or fight back. We cave to keep the peace, or we become rigid to protect ourselves. But when we’re grounded, we can bend without breaking. We can adjust without losing our shape. We are like a tree planted beside another tree, one that matters deeply to us. Ideally, each tree grows straight up, supported by its own root system. It can hold its own weight when storms come and bend with the wind without snapping. Unfortunately, this is not how many relationships actually function. Instead of standing upright, we grow dependent on the person next to us to hold us up and make us feel steady or valued. We borrow our sense of Self from the relationship. Our steadiness becomes dependent on validation from the other person. This creates emotional fusion and dependence. Emotional fusion often shows up as emotional over-connection: - absorbing your partner’s emotions as your own (he’s angry, so now she’s angry) - needing or demanding reassurance or apologies - lashing out when the other person is not meeting your needs In fusion, both people feel intensely connected AND intensely reactive. The bond is strong, but it is not stable. Over time, the relationship becomes heavy. Neither person feels like they can breathe. It’s a bit like being a conjoint twin. Play How Self-Soothing Changes Relationships ![Two hands reaching across a stark black and white divide, symbolizing connection and unity.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/two-hands-reaching-across-a-stark-black-and-white-divide-symbolizing-connection-and-unity.-3354675-scaled.jpg) ## How Togetherness Pressure Pulls Us Apart As humans, we live between two natural forces: the desire to be our own person and the desire to belong. This tension is by design…it’s part of being human. But the pull toward connection is powerful, often much stronger than the pull toward individuality. This creates what we call togetherness pressure. When someone we love pulls away or is disappointed in us, anxiety rises. If our sense of Self is shaped primarily by others’ approval, that pressure pushes us toward fusion. We accommodate, withdraw, or organize ourselves around keeping the relationship calm. Over time, the relationship becomes more about managing anxiety than fostering growth. Couples get stuck in familiar loops which can look like arguing repeatedly or maintaining surface harmony while feeling alone. In Crucible therapy, we call this the comfort and safety cycle. --- ## ## “When people sacrifice individuality for togetherness, they don’t get lasting closeness. They end up with less individuality and less intimacy.” Dr. David Schnarch, Passionate Marriage ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/canstockphoto13234277.jpg) ## The Challenge of Change vs. Stability in Relationships When reducing anxiety becomes the priority, couples settle into what feels like safety. It resembles stability, but it prevents growth. Stability is not the same as strength. The comfort cycle hinges on avoidance. We smooth over differences, sidestep difficult conversations, and preserve harmony at the surface. Underneath, resentment accumulates. Vitality fades. Sex becomes dull or routine. Partners may appear distant yet remain intensely reactive…a fused detachment where each person is deeply affected but unable to tolerate the impact. The comfort cycle often really isn’t comfortable at all and may not actually feel safe…it’s just all you know. Some couples live this way for years. [![Crucible Comfot and Growth Cycle This image is from Passionate Marriage by Dr. David Schnarch and developed by master Crucible Clinician, Barbara Fairfield and her husband Don.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Comfort-and-Growth-Cycle.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Screenshot-2026-02-14-at-35424-PM.png)This image is from [Passionate Marriage](https://www.amazon.com/Passionate-Marriage-Intimacy-Committed-Relationships/dp/0393334279/ref=sr_1_1?adgrpid=187990999884&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.NJIdbXxX-AJZxnBjyqiWrxR9mkL1vHUu4PmqyEQ0CCIYOAz4-sB4oTrsrQLeZN7Kk3Y_FOzIzQ82u3aVCPeyT27aN-shmSOQois662U5gGQllwFSZqxYmbacVRFixY-9v5SAoC1AJOIlrixHuSWTGvswJInIobBNV2EmlsM0PS-5VIbHCOOm3D7wuGvFO0EbSf7qYc1c6xUfpnQe1LCsqziNjvvNICsE7tFDLNFd2Ic.qATYhXKMAebCC8GZzaBK7HjK6YIlDxH97QiBy3TkTr8&dib_tag=se&hvadid=779523608076&hvdev=c&hvexpln=0&hvlocphy=9198597&hvnetw=g&hvocijid=12300627477628796026--&hvqmt=e&hvrand=12300627477628796026&hvtargid=kwd-383963147964&hydadcr=20367_13322241_2282319&keywords=passionate+marriage+book&mcid=73f2807bbc9730ed8214470af9597904&qid=1771121323&sr=8-1) by Dr. David Schnarch and developed by master Crucible Clinician, Barbara Fairfield, and her husband. Don.--- ## Why Growth for Strong Relationships Requires Risk Moving beyond this cycle requires risk and the initial reward for that risk is anxiety. When one person stops organizing around comfort and begins organizing around growth, the system reacts. Old patterns pull hard, and the temptation to restore calm is strong. So what does it look like to grow yourself up? ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Redwoods-July-2024-48-scaled.png) ## What Growing a “Self” Involves Growth requires developing differentiation. Dr. Schnarch operationalized this as the [four points of balance](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/personal-growth-for-interpersonal-relationships/ "The Best Way To Save Your Relationship"): - A Solid Flexible Self - Calm Heart and Quiet Mind - Grounded Responding - Meaningful Endurance In practice, this means knowing who you are without demanding your partner regulate your worth. It means settling your own anxiety instead of spreading it into the relationship. It means addressing what is off directly without appeasing, attacking, or withdrawing. Finally, it’s tolerating discomfort long enough for something new to develop. When even one person begins strengthening these capacities, the emotional field shifts. The pressure doesn’t disappear, but it changes. It becomes the pressure of development rather than fusion. And that is where things often get harder. Play How to bring your best self to your relationship ![tree](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/hands-on-tree.jpg) ## Why Growing Strong Relationships is so Hard These four capacities are simple, and they are anything but easy. Most couples function at a similar level of differentiation (or 4 points of balance). We are often drawn to partners whose developmental level matches our own. So when one person grows by holding steadier boundaries, tolerating anxiety without accommodating, or speaking more directly — the entire system feels it. To a partner, that shift can feel like distance, rejection, or loss. Systems prefer stability. Growth disrupts stability. Sometimes the partner rises to meet the change. Other times they push back, escalate, or attempt to restore the old balance, reacting to the pressure they feel to keep things the same. ## How Early Experiences Shape the Self We don’t begin life with a solid Self. We develop through reflected experience, a reflected sense of self, where older people tell us who we are and how we should be. This works well when it’s done from the best in others. But often what we are told isn’t kind or loving and becomes internalized as who we are…even if it’s not true. Not all of this is verbal. We map what is “safe” to say, feel, and want by watching and observing others in high-intensity moments, especially when fear, reactivity, or shutdown enters the room. *For example, when a parent tells a child to stop crying, the child learns to push their feelings down. When a parent or teacher reacts negatively to a child’s bid for connection, the child learns it’s safer to withdraw.* These adaptations are intelligent responses to relational systems. They are not pathological. But what protected connection in childhood can limit intimacy in adulthood. After a while, what was a survival strategy begins to feel like personality. One formed to preserve belonging, not to sustain adult intimacy. In adulthood, this can show up as: - not knowing what you want - difficulty saying no - avoiding conflict - feeling overwhelmed with guilt These patterns are wired in from early experiences designed to preserve connection. This is why growth can feel so threatening. --- ![self-compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/qtq80-vM0osv.jpeg) Play When you calm yourself, relationships change. [](https://www.youtube.com/@fullerlifefamilytherapy) ## Why Developing a sense of Self Is Difficult—and Necessary These ways of being are hardwired in our brains and nervous system, so growing beyond them is not easy and it’s the best chance for changing your relationships. Here are a few ways it’s hard to grow yourself: - you’ll [see things about yourself](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-awareness-staying-awake/ "Self-Awareness: How Your Survival Instincts Keep You Asleep") (and your partner) you don’t like - your nervous system will beg you to go back to old patterns - you’ll feel pulled to focus on your partner instead of yourself - your partner will not thank you — at least not at first When you begin holding steadier boundaries or tolerating disappointment without rushing to fix it, anxiety rises. Developing a stronger Self means staying in that anxious space long enough for a new balance to emerge where one can self-soothing without avoiding and self-confront without despair. For this to work, one has to continue working on themselves over and over and over without guarantee that your partner will match your efforts. You have to do it consistently enough that your partner maps you are not going back to the old ways of being that were easier and more avoidant or reactive. And the hardest part is making these changes with kindness and compassion for yourself and those you love. For some reason, these kind of changes are easier to exact from fear or anger, but that’s often just more of the same. Over time and with consistency, this builds internal structure. And that structure is what allows intimacy to deepen rather than stagnate. The discomfort is not a sign that growth is wrong. It is a sign that something meaningful is shifting. --- ## ## “We all want to be wanted, and none of us want to want. Wanting makes us vulnerable. It puts us in the position of needing something from someone who is free not to give it.” Dr. David Schnarch, Intimacy and Desire ## Why a Solid Sense of Self Is Essential for Eroticism Eroticism involves risk — the risk of being known and possibly unwanted. As Schnarch writes, *“We all want to be wanted and none of us want to want.”* To want someone is to risk not being chosen. It requires tolerating uncertainty without collapsing into reassurance-seeking or control. That kind of risk requires a Self. When the Self is underdeveloped, desire organizes around safety. We monitor instead of express. We pursue reassurance instead of risk. Sexuality becomes cautious, routine, dutiful or quietly resentful. Intimacy begins carrying too much weight and regulates worth, security, or emotional balance. Eroticism is an adult capacity. It depends on two differentiated people who can tolerate being known without demanding that the other stabilize them. Intimate relationships are what expose whether we can. ![A loving couple embraces while holding a heart-shaped cutout, creating a warm and affectionate scene.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/a-loving-couple-embraces-while-holding-a-heart-shaped-cutout-creating-a-warm-and-affectionate-scene.-5493194-scaled-e1738804819636.jpg) ## How solid is your Self? Here are some questions for reflection: - What are you avoiding that you know needs to be addressed? - When you find yourself frustrated in a relationship, do you focus on the other person or yourself first? - How do you let the way you see your partner keep you from growing? - When is the last time you took a risk because something mattered to you? - Are you someone who soothes yourself or do you rely on other others to help you settle down? - How have you given up parts of yourself to please someone else? Are you willing to keep doing it or are you willing to take a risk? Neither option is guaranteed to go well. You get to decide. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/heart-shaped-tree-1024x1024.jpg) ## Becoming Your Best Self Strong relationships do not simply provide comfort. They generate the very pressure that develops us. Conflict, disappointment, sexual tension, and emotional distance are not signs that something is broken. They are often the conditions that reveal where we still organize around anxiety rather than growth. Growing a solid, flexible Self is not about independence or detachment. It is about becoming sturdy enough to stay connected without losing yourself. This kind of development rarely happens accidentally. It requires intention. Structure. Practice. It requires choosing growth over comfort, again and again. That is the heart behind our Year of Self-Development. Each month, we focus on a specific theme of self-growth that strengthens a solid sense of Self, the building blocks of strong relationships. This is a structured invitation to develop the internal capacities strong relationships require: the ability to tolerate conflict, desire, and difference without collapsing, accommodating, or trying to control the relationship. Because strong relationships grow when people grow. And intimate relationships are the crucible that makes that growth possible. If this resonates, we invite you to stay connected with us. Follow Fuller Life via our [newsletter](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=109), [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/FullerLifeFamilyTherapy), [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/fullerlifefamilyinstitute/), [linked in](https://www.linkedin.com/company/3595830/admin/dashboard/) or [You Tube](https://www.youtube.com/@fullerlifefamilytherapy) for ongoing reflections, resources, and conversations about developing a solid Self over time. Real intimacy doesn’t come easily. It is the reward of sustained, often uncomfortable work, developing clarity, emotional steadiness, and integrity. This is how you become someone who can love well — and receive love well. *This perspective is rooted in the differentiation-based work of Dr. David Schnarch and the Crucible Approach to relationships.* ###### Clinical Director ## [Amy Fuller, PhD](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/ "Dr. Amy Fuller, Clinical Director") ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/FL-Headshout-Round-Amy.png) [![Fuller Life Logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Logo-high-res.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) ## **Looking for Affordable Therapy in Houston?** [Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) provides [affordable therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") in Houston for [individuals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/ "Individual Therapy"), [couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/), [kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/), [teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/), [groups](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) and [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) within an [intensive training](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/ "Train with Us") program. With [sliding scale](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") options and five convenient [locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/), care is accessible without compromising [clinical excellence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/ "Our Clinical Outcomes"). We provide specialized treatment with [Somatic EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/somatic-emdr-natural-processing/), [Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-therapy-2/), [Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sand-therapy/), [Art and Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/). [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/)[Our Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/)[Our Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ## More articles by our professional therapists about self-development: - [ ![Person underwater with eyes open, representing self-awareness and the effort of staying awake rather than avoiding inner experience.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/evelyn-verdin-Z543CMKt5o0-unsplash-768x576.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-awareness-staying-awake/) [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) | [Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/) | [The Human Brain](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/the-human-brain/) ## [Self-Awareness: How Your Survival Instincts Keep You Asleep](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-awareness-staying-awake/) [ Read More Self-Awareness: How Your Survival Instincts Keep You AsleepContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-awareness-staying-awake/) - [ ![31 Days of Wellness to Wrap Up Your Year](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/Be-well-Images-2025-8-768x512.png) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/bewell/) [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) | [Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) | [The Human Brain](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/the-human-brain/) ## [31 Days of Wellness to Wrap Up Your Year](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/bewell/) [ Read More 31 Days of Wellness to Wrap Up Your YearContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/bewell/) - [ ![mindful moments in nature](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/qtq80-eq7W8T-768x512.jpeg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-moments-in-nature-how-to-be-well/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) | [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) ## [Mindful Moments in Nature: How to Be Well](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-moments-in-nature-how-to-be-well/) [ Read More Mindful Moments in Nature: How to Be WellContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-moments-in-nature-how-to-be-well/) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/6d17399acfd9b615dcc0b9c59c57e5ae8935bb0c93952030fbf48b72220e0445?s=300&r=g) Amy Fuller PhD Clinical Director Dr. Amy Fuller is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and professional counselor with over two decades of experience specializing in sex therapy, couples therapy, and trauma. She earned her master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Abilene Christian University and her PhD from St. Mary’s University. Dr. Fuller is the founder and Clinical Director of Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, a nonprofit in Houston committed to providing affordable mental health care and advanced therapist training. She is an AASECT-certified sex therapist and supervisor, known for her compassionate and evidence-based approach. Dr. Fuller serves as the Specialization Director for Sex Therapy and Trauma in the Doctor of Professional Counseling program at Kairos University, where she mentors emerging clinicians. With a passion for making therapy accessible and equipping therapists for meaningful, lasting work, Dr. Fuller integrates clinical excellence, spirituality, and cultural responsiveness into every aspect of her practice. [See Full Bio](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) [ ](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) Couples Therapy Healing Trauma Sex Therapy Mental Health Family Therapy EMDR Relationships Mindfulness [ ![social network 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](https://www.linkedin.com/in/amyfullerphd/) **Categories:** Counseling, Intimacy & Sex Therapy, Relationships, Self-Awareness, Self-Development **Tags:** Differentiation, relationships, self-development --- ### [Gratitude](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gratitude-2/) **Published:** March 25, 2012 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** > “Both abundance and lack exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend… when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present — love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature and personal pursuits that bring us pleasure — the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience Heaven on earth.” –Sarah Ban Breathnach This year, I decided to practice the virtue of gratitude for my new years resolution. I was inspired by Sarah Breathnach’s quote and the idea that in every moment, we are faced with two realities: abundance and lack. Each day I have the opportunity to choose, and then focus my energy in the direction of either my thankfulness or my frustrations. Over the past couple of months, I have realized that practicing gratitude can sometimes be difficult. On a day when nothing seems to be going right–(I’m running late, traffic is a parking lot, the line at the grocery store won’t move)–those are the times when I switch impulsively into crummy mood mode. I feel impatient, frustrated, and on edge. And then I remember: practice gratitude. I take a deep breath, pause, and begin to list the gifts in my life: My loving husband, two beautiful kids, dear friends, a warm place to sleep, chocolate, my health, etc. Almost in an instant, my mood starts to lift. So many reasons to be thankful are all around! I begin to realize that the grocery store line is not nearly as urgent as it felt only moments earlier. I continue my wait gently. I count all of the beautiful things that I already have. And then, the line seems to move a little faster. As I leave the store, new moments come along, some joyful, some frustrating. Then, I remind myself… gently… to practice again. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: Jennifer Christian ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Counseling, Gratitude, Relationships, Self-Care Practices **Tags:** gratitude, relationships, self-care --- ### [The Truth About Teen Girls and Mental Health in 2025](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-truth-about-teen-girls-and-mental-health-in-2025/) **Published:** August 7, 2025 **Author:** Gisselle Balderas **Excerpt:** Today’s teens are dealing with a lot. Social media, pressure to succeed in school, and worries at home can all add up... **Content:** Today’s teens are dealing with a lot. Social media, pressure to succeed in school, and worries at home can all add up. Many teen girls feel overwhelmed, anxious, or sad—and these feelings aren’t just “phases.” More and more young girls are struggling with their mental health, and the problem keeps growing. **Fact: Teen girls are now more likely to experience depression than any other group their age. These numbers started rising around 2012 and haven’t gone down since.** ## ****The Pressure to Be Perfect**** Faith is deeply important in the lives of many people of color. Teen girls face a lot of expectations. They’re told to look a certain way, act a certain way, and succeed in school. All this can create stress and make girls feel like they’re never enough. Without support, these feelings can lead to anxiety, sadness, or even harmful thoughts. **Fact:** **Since 2010, anxiety and depression in teens have doubled. Girls are affected the most.** ![A diverse group of teenagers enthusiastically reading a book indoors, showcasing friendship and learning.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/a-diverse-group-of-teenagers-enthusiastically-reading-a-book-indoors-showcasing-friendship-and-learning.-4841970-scaled.jpg) ![social media suicidality](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/children-sitting-back-to-back-using-smartphones-illuminated-by-screen-light-in-a-dark-minimal-studio-setting.-9785008-scaled.jpg) ## ****Social Media Makes It Worse**** ChLet’s face it—most teens spend hours a day on their phones. But what they see online can hurt how they feel about themselves. When girls scroll through pictures and compare their lives to others, they can start to feel like they don’t measure up. **Fact:** **Girls who spend more time on social media are more likely to report symptoms of depression than boys.** Younger Phone Use, Bigger Mental Health Struggles It’s not just how much time girls spend on screens—it’s how early they start. Studies show that the younger a child gets a smartphone, the more likely they are to have mental health issues later on. This is especially true for girls. **Fact:** **Girls who got a smartphone at age 6 showed the highest levels of distress. These levels dropped the later they got their first phone.** ## ********Not All Teens Have the Same Support******** Not every family has the same resources. Teen girls from low-income households may face extra stress, like food insecurity or unsafe neighborhoods. At the same time, they often don’t have access to therapy or support. **Fact:** **Teens from lower-income homes report more depression symptoms than those from higher-income homes.** --- ## ## Teach healthy coping skills, like journaling, mindfulness, or talking to a trusted adult ![Two teenagers playing a strategic card game indoors, focusing on tactics and leisure.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/two-teenagers-playing-a-strategic-card-game-indoors-focusing-on-tactics-and-leisure.-4691554-scaled.jpg) ## ********Suicide Rates Are Rising******** The most serious sign that we need to pay attention? More young girls are thinking about or attempting suicide. This is not just scary—it’s a crisis that we must respond to. **Fact:** **Suicide rates for girls aged 10–14 have risen by more than 160% since 2010.** ## ****What Can We Do About It?**** Here are a few steps that parents, schools, and communities can take to support teen girls’ mental health: - Delay smartphones until teens are old enough to manage them in healthy ways - Talk openly about feelings and mental health - Encourage screen breaks and in-person activities - Teach healthy coping skills, like journaling, mindfulness, or talking to a trusted adult - Improve access to mental health care, especially in schools and low-income areas - Check in often—sometimes just asking “How are you really doing?” can open the door to help - Model healthy behavior around stress, sleep, and technology No one expects parents or teachers to fix everything, but small actions can truly make a big difference. ###### Resident Therapist ## [Gisselle Balderas](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gisselle/ "Gisselle Balderas") ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Gisselle-Balderas-Round-Team-Headshots.png) [Gisselle Balderas, LPC-A](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gisselle/ "Gisselle Balderas") [![Fuller Life Logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Logo-high-res.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) ## **Looking for Affordable Therapy in Houston?** [Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) provides [affordable therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") in Houston for [individuals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/ "Individual Therapy"), [couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/), [kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/), [teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/), [groups](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) and [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) within an [intensive training](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/ "Train with Us") program. With [sliding scale](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") options and five convenient [locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/), care is accessible without compromising [clinical excellence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/ "Our Clinical Outcomes"). We provide specialized treatment with [Somatic EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/somatic-emdr-natural-processing/), [Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-therapy-2/), [Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sand-therapy/), [Art and Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/). [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/)[Our Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/)[Our Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ## More articles by our professional therapists about suicidality: - [ ![recognize teen suicide](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/a-young-man-helps-his-friend-after-a-fall-on-urban-steps-showcasing-friendship-and-support.-5370343-768x1152.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/help-hurting-teens-how-to-recognize-and-respond-to-suicide-risk/) [Adolescents & Children](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/) | [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Depression](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/depression/) | [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) | [Parenting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/counseling-families/) | [Parenting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/parenting/) | [Suicide Awareness (Crisis Info)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/suicide-awareness-crisis-info/) ## [Help Hurting Teens: How to Recognize and Respond to Suicide Risk](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/help-hurting-teens-how-to-recognize-and-respond-to-suicide-risk/) [ Read More Help Hurting Teens: How to Recognize and Respond to Suicide RiskContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/help-hurting-teens-how-to-recognize-and-respond-to-suicide-risk/) - [ ![teen pregnancy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Black-Teen-Pregnancy-1-e1738804628485-768x446.png) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/teen-moms-and-mental-health-what-you-need-to-know/) [Adolescents & Children](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/) | [Depression](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/depression/) | [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) | [Post Partum Depression](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/post-partum-depression/) | [Suicide Awareness (Crisis Info)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/suicide-awareness-crisis-info/) ## [Teen Moms and Mental Health: What You Need to Know](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/teen-moms-and-mental-health-what-you-need-to-know/) [ Read More Teen Moms and Mental Health: What You Need to KnowContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/teen-moms-and-mental-health-what-you-need-to-know/) - [ ![When trauma is “the norm”: About CPTSD](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/CPTSD-blog-feature-photo-768x512.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/when-trauma-has-been-the-norm-about-cpts/) [Child Abuse (Safety)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/child-abuse/) | [EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/emdr/) | [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) | [Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/) | [Suicide Awareness (Crisis Info)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/suicide-awareness-crisis-info/) | [Trauma and Loss](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/) ## [When trauma is “the norm”: About CPTSD](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/when-trauma-has-been-the-norm-about-cpts/) [ Read More When trauma is “the norm”: About CPTSDContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/when-trauma-has-been-the-norm-about-cpts/) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/c4ae838e332bd88239b767e90c0f7a7d4ec807427ad3bd870cc38d9e3b91dbf8?s=300&r=g) Gisselle Balderas [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/gissellebalderas/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/gissellebalderas/) **Categories:** Counseling, Mental Health, Suicide Awareness (Crisis Info) --- ### [Help Hurting Teens: How to Recognize and Respond to Suicide Risk](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/help-hurting-teens-how-to-recognize-and-respond-to-suicide-risk/) **Published:** October 13, 2025 **Author:** Nicole Thompson **Excerpt:** Learn how to spot suicide warning signs in teens and take steps to support their mental health with empathy, awareness, and professional guidance. **Content:** Suicide, as defined by the **World Health Organization (WHO)**, is the deliberate act of ending one’s own life. Tragically, it remains one of the leading causes of death among young people. Between 2007 and 2019, suicide rates among youth aged 10–24 increased significantly (Liwei et al., 2024). For parents, caregivers, educators, and community leaders, it is vital not to turn away from this difficult reality. Instead, we must work to understand the underlying risk factors, recognize the warning signs, and foster safe, supportive environments for our youth. ## ********Developmental Factors: Why Adolescence is a Vulnerable Stage******** Adolescence (ages 10–18) is a period of rapid physical, emotional, and psychological change. Young people who lack healthy coping strategies may struggle with feelings of overwhelm, which can lead to thoughts of self-harm or suicide. This risk is often heightened for **minority youth**, who may face systemic barriers, discrimination, and layered challenges. Research indicates that while girls are more likely to attempt suicide, boys and young men are more likely to die by suicide (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention \[CDC\], 2022). ![teen suicide](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/two-women-with-braided-hair-lying-side-by-side-gazing-upwards-with-flowers-in-their-braids.-5465920-scaled.jpg) ![teen girl](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/monochrome-portrait-of-a-woman-sitting-on-a-sofa-deep-in-thought.-2471301-scaled.jpg) ## ********Individual Risk Factors******** Certain personal circumstances may increase vulnerability: - **Mental health conditions** such as depression (the strongest predictor), anxiety, trauma-related disorders, conduct disorder, or bipolar disorder. - **Intellectual or learning disabilities**, which can increase frustration and feelings of hopelessness. - **Family history of suicide**. - **Substance abuse**, which can impair judgment and increase impulsivity. --- **Relationship and Social Factors** Adverse relationships play a powerful role in youth suicide risk: - **Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)**, including physical, verbal, or sexual abuse, foster care placement, and neglect. - **Domestic violence** or a family history of suicidal behavior. - **Social media pressures**, which can serve as both a positive outlet and a harmful space exposing youth to bullying, harassment, unrealistic comparisons, and predatory behaviors (Liwei et al., 2024). - **Family discord or divorce**, which may cause children to internalize blame for adult conflicts. ## ************Community and Cultural Influences************ Suicide risk can also be shaped by wider community and cultural events: - **Media portrayals of suicide** have been linked to increases in suicide rates among adolescents. Following the death of actor Robin Williams in 2014, suicide rates increased by 29%. Similarly, shows like *13 Reasons Why* have sparked concerns about suicide contagion (Liwei et al., 2024). --- ## ## it takes parents, teachers, faith leaders, coaches, and community advocates working together. ![Red no entry signs against a blue sky in an urban Indonesian setting, capturing city life.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/red-no-entry-signs-against-a-blue-sky-in-an-urban-indonesian-setting-capturing-city-life.-17069021-scaled.jpg) ## **Warning Signs to Look Out For** Recognizing early warning signs can save lives. Some red flags include: - Major changes in eating or sleeping patterns. - Withdrawal from friends and family. - Neglect of personal hygiene or appearance. - Increased use of alcohol or drugs. - Expressions of hopelessness, sadness, or irritability. - Refusal to attend school or desire to stay in bed. - Social media posts expressing loneliness, despair, or self-harm. - Direct or indirect talk of suicide (“I wish I wasn’t here,” or “You won’t have to worry about me soon”). ## ********How Parents and Community Leaders Can Help******** **Parents & Caregivers** - **Keep open communication**: Create a safe space where children can share their thoughts without fear of judgment. - **Model regulation**: Children learn resilience from caregivers who manage stress in healthy ways. - **Pursue connection**: Show genuine curiosity about their inner world. - **Repair ruptures**: After conflicts, be willing to apologize and reconnect. **Teachers & Coaches** - **Watch for warning signs**: Withdrawal, declining performance, or changes in behavior may signal distress. - **Foster belonging**: Students who feel connected at school are less likely to experience suicidal ideation (CDC, 2022). - **Integrate SEL (Social and Emotional Learning)**: Teaching coping skills, empathy, and problem-solving builds resilience. **Faith Leaders & Mentors** - **Provide spiritual and emotional support**: Faith communities can be powerful sources of belonging and hope. - **Reduce stigma**: Speak openly about mental health and normalize seeking professional help. - **Offer referral pathways**: Pastors, youth ministers, and mentors should know how to connect youth with mental health professionals. **Community Leaders** - **Promote safe media reporting**: Advocate for responsible news and entertainment portrayals of suicide. - **Encourage positive peer networks**: Support after-school programs, sports, and mentorship initiatives. - **Increase access to resources**: Partner with schools and healthcare providers to expand access to counseling. [![A young man helps his friend after a fall on urban steps, showcasing friendship and support.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/a-young-man-helps-his-friend-after-a-fall-on-urban-steps-showcasing-friendship-and-support.-5370343-683x1024.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/a-young-man-helps-his-friend-after-a-fall-on-urban-steps-showcasing-friendship-and-support.-5370343-scaled.jpg) ## **Protective Factors: What Builds Resilience** Just as risk factors increase vulnerability, protective factors strengthen resilience: - Strong, supportive family relationships. - A sense of belonging at school or in a peer group. - Access to mental health services and trusted adults. - Safe community spaces and activities. - Positive cultural or spiritual identity. ## **Final Thoughts** Preventing youth suicide is not the responsibility of one person or one system—it takes parents, teachers, faith leaders, coaches, and community advocates working together. By fostering connection, reducing stigma, and equipping youth with tools for resilience, we can build safer futures for our children. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to the **988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline** (U.S.) or local crisis services in your region. Immediate support saves lives. - **Crisis Text Line** – Text **HELLO** to **741741** to be connected with a crisis counselor. - **Emergency Services** – If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, dial **911**. Great! Here’s a **short, social-media–ready “at-a-glance” resource box** you can use on Instagram, Facebook, or even as a sidebar graphic that links back to your full blog post. It’s concise, visually clear, and designed for quick readability. ## **References:** Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2022). *Youth risk behavior survey data summary & trends report: 2011–2021*. U.S. Department of Health & Human Services. Liwei, X., Zhang, M., & Chen, L. (2024). *Youth suicide trends and risk factors in the United States: A decade in review*. Journal of Adolescent Health, 74(2), 1–15. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadohealth.2024.01.002 World Health Organization. (2021). *Suicide*. National Institute of Mental Health. (2023). *Suicide prevention*. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/suicide-prevention ###### Resident Therapist ## Nicole Thompson ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/FL-Headshot-Round-Nicole.png) [Nicole Thompson, LPC-A](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/nicole-thompson/ "Nicole Thompson") ## More articles by our professional therapists about suicidality: - [ ![Black Teenage Girl](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/teen-canstockphoto89094807-scaled-e1630989903498-768x768.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-truth-about-teen-girls-and-mental-health-in-2025/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) | [Suicide Awareness (Crisis Info)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/suicide-awareness-crisis-info/) ## [The Truth About Teen Girls and Mental Health in 2025](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-truth-about-teen-girls-and-mental-health-in-2025/) [ Read More The Truth About Teen Girls and Mental Health in 2025Continue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-truth-about-teen-girls-and-mental-health-in-2025/) [![Fuller Life Logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Logo-high-res.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) ## **Looking for Affordable Therapy in Houston?** [Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) provides [affordable therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") in Houston for [individuals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/ "Individual Therapy"), [couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/), [kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/), [teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/), [groups](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) and [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) within an [intensive training](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/ "Train with Us") program. With [sliding scale](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") options and five convenient [locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/), care is accessible without compromising [clinical excellence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/ "Our Clinical Outcomes"). We provide specialized treatment with [Somatic EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/somatic-emdr-natural-processing/), [Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-therapy-2/), [Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sand-therapy/), [Art and Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/). [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/)[Our Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/)[Our Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/FL-Headshot-Round-Nicole.png) Nicole Thompson I hold a master's degree in counseling psychology from Capella University and marriage and family therapy from Capella and Houston Christian University, respectively. I am a Prepare/Enrich and Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts (SYMBIS) facilitator which I use in my work with couples preparing for marriage. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapy Associate under the supervision of Amy Fuller PhD, LMFT, LPC. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/nicolethompson/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/nicolethompson/) Mental Health Sand Therapy EMDR Couples Therapy **Categories:** Adolescents & Children, Counseling, Depression, Mental Health, Parenting, Parenting, Suicide Awareness (Crisis Info) --- ### [Feel the Fear And Grow Anyway: A Simple How-To](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/feel-the-fear-and-grow-anyway-a-simple-how-to/) **Published:** December 28, 2024 **Author:** Shayla Johnson **Excerpt:** Everyone talks about goals and strategies for the months ahead. But what often gets left out of the conversation is the anxiety that can come with growth. **Content:** Growth is a buzzword these days, especially with the new year approaching. Everyone talks about goals and strategies for the months ahead. But what often gets left out of the conversation is the anxiety that can come with growth. Setting new goals and facing new challenges can feel overwhelming. When we see growth as one giant task, it can feel like too much to handle. This pressure often causes anxiety, making it harder to move forward. So, how do you grow even when anxiety is present? What does it look like to take steps toward your goals while still carrying that nervous feeling? Let’s explore some practical steps to help you move forward, even when anxiety joins the ride. ![Close-up of a woman with afro hair meditating, eyes closed, embracing wellness and mindfulness.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/close-up-of-a-woman-with-afro-hair-meditating-eyes-closed-embracing-wellness-and-mindfulness.-6931787-1024x683.jpg) ## **Step 1: Pause and Assess Your Feelings** Before you dive into a new task or goal, take a moment to check in with yourself. Ask: - What emotions are coming up for me right now? - Why am I feeling this way? - How can I name and acknowledge these feelings? By recognizing what’s going on inside, you create space for awareness. This doesn’t mean your anxiety will disappear. But it allows you to approach your goals with clarity. ## ****Step 2: Define Your Goal**** What exactly are you trying to achieve? Clearly define your goal or objective. A well-defined goal is easier to tackle than a vague one. For example: Instead of saying, “I want to get fit,” try, “I want to exercise for 30 minutes, three times a week.” ![A lightbulb on a chalkboard symbolizes creativity, innovation, and ideas.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/a-lightbulb-on-a-chalkboard-symbolizes-creativity-innovation-and-ideas.-355948-1024x623.jpg) ## **How to Keep Going When Anxiety Lingers** Anxiety doesn’t always go away. But that doesn’t mean you can’t grow. When you feel anxious: - Take deep breaths. - Remind yourself that growth is a process. - Celebrate small wins along the way. Each step forward, no matter how small, is proof of your progress. ## ******Step 3: Break It Down****** Big goals often feel overwhelming because they seem too large to handle. Break your goal into smaller, bite-sized pieces. Think of each step as a puzzle piece. Completing one piece at a time brings you closer to the whole picture. [![Colorful sticky notes with motivational quotes on a mirror indoors.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/colorful-sticky-notes-with-motivational-quotes-on-a-mirror-indoors.-3831849-683x1024.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/colorful-sticky-notes-with-motivational-quotes-on-a-mirror-indoors.-3831849-scaled.jpg) ## **Step 4: Prioritize Your Steps** Which task should you focus on first? Start with the most pressing or easiest step. Taking action on smaller tasks builds momentum and boosts your confidence. ## **Step 5: Pace Yourself** Growth is not a sprint—it’s a marathon. Take your time. Remember, it’s okay to move at your own pace. Rushing only adds to anxiety, so be kind to yourself as you progress. ## **Final Thoughts** Growth and anxiety often go hand in hand. Instead of avoiding the feelings, lean into them. With small steps, clear priorities, and self-compassion, you can keep moving forward. It’s okay to grow at your own pace—because every step you take matters. ###### Resident Therapist ## [Shayla Johnson](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) ![Shayla Johnson](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-headshot-19.png) [Shayla Johnson, LPC-A](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) ## More articles by our professional therapists about fear: - [ ![Vibrant 3D rendering depicting the complexity of neural networks.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/vibrant-3d-rendering-depicting-the-complexity-of-neural-networks.-17484975-768x482.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-calm-an-overactive-brain-after-trauma/) [Anxiety & Panic](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/anxiety/) | [Art Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/art-therapy/) | [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/emdr/) | [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) | [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) | [Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) | [The Human Brain](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/the-human-brain/) | [Trauma and Loss](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/) ## [How to Calm an Overactive Brain After Trauma](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-calm-an-overactive-brain-after-trauma/) [ Read More How to Calm an Overactive Brain After TraumaContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-calm-an-overactive-brain-after-trauma/) - [ ![stress response cycle](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/qtq80-uu1p4D-768x510.jpeg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/stress-response-cycle/) [Anxiety Issues](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/anxiety-issues/) | [mental health,](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health-3/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) | [Stress Management](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/stress-management/) ## [8 Simple Everyday Ways to Complete the Stress Response Cycle](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/stress-response-cycle/) [ Read More 8 Simple Everyday Ways to Complete the Stress Response CycleContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/stress-response-cycle/) - [ ![DBT 4 modules](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/Mindfulness-3-768x576.png) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dialectical-behavior-therapy/) [Addiction & Recovery](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/addiction-recovery/) | [Anxiety & Panic](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/anxiety/) | [Anxiety Issues](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/anxiety-issues/) | [Bipolar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/bipolar/) | [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Depression](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/depression/) | [Depression, Bipolar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/depression-bipolar/) | [Eating Disorders](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/eating-disorders/) | [Emotional Intelligence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/emotional-intelligence/) | [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) ## [Dialectical Behavior Therapy: From a Life of Misery to One Worth Living](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dialectical-behavior-therapy/) [ Read More Dialectical Behavior Therapy: From a Life of Misery to One Worth LivingContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dialectical-behavior-therapy/) [![Fuller Life Logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Logo-high-res.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) ## **Looking for Affordable Therapy in Houston?** [Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) provides [affordable therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") in Houston for [individuals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/ "Individual Therapy"), [couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/), [kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/), [teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/), [groups](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) and [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) within an [intensive training](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/ "Train with Us") program. With [sliding scale](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") options and five convenient [locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/), care is accessible without compromising [clinical excellence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/ "Our Clinical Outcomes"). We provide specialized treatment with [Somatic EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/somatic-emdr-natural-processing/), [Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-therapy-2/), [Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sand-therapy/), [Art and Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/). [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/)[Our Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/)[Our Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-headshot-19.png) Shayla Johnson Resident Therapist As a professional with a Master of Arts in Counseling and a Master’s in Divinity from the Houston Graduate School of Theology, and licensed as a Professional Counselor Associate, I am dedicated to supporting you in your journey of self-discovery. I firmly believe that the answers we seek are within. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) Mental Health EMDR Art Therapy Self Compassion **Categories:** Anxiety & Panic, Anxiety Issues, Counseling, Mental Health --- ### [Recognizing PTSD in Teens: How To Help Them](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/recognizing-ptsd-in-teens-how-to-help-copy/) **Published:** June 6, 2025 **Author:** Erin Viramontes **Excerpt:** What Is PTSD in Teens?  PTSD is a mental health condition that can develop after a person experiences or witnesses something traumatic. **Content:** ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/a-woman-with-long-hair-gestures-to-stop-with-one-hand-conveying-a-message-of-prevention-or-refusal.-4379954-scaled.jpg) ## ************What Is PTSD in Teens?************ PTSD is a mental health condition that can develop after a person experiences or witnesses something traumatic. This might be: - A serious accident - Physical or sexual abuse - A natural disaster - School violence or bullying - Witnessing violence - The sudden death of someone they love For teens, trauma can be especially confusing. Their brains are still growing, and they are still learning how to handle big emotions. ## ******Did You Know?****** According to the National Comorbidity Survey, about **5% of teens** in the U.S. have PTSD. Among teens who have experienced trauma, **up to 15–20%** may develop PTSD. **Common Signs of PTSD in Teenagers** If your teen has PTSD, you may notice signs like: - **Flashbacks or nightmares:** They keep reliving the event - **Avoidance:** They avoid places or people that remind them of the trauma - **Negative feelings:** They feel sad, guilty, or think badly about themselves - **Angry or jumpy:** They get angry quickly or are easily startled Teens with PTSD might also act out, break rules, or take dangerous risks. ### Getting help early can stop things from getting worse. ## ******How Is PTSD Diagnosed and Treated?****** Mental health professionals use interviews and assessments to diagnose PTSD. If your teen is diagnosed, don’t worry—help is available. **Treatments may include:** - **Therapy:** Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) helps teens talk about the trauma and learn effective coping skills. - **Medication:** Sometimes, medicine is used to treat anxiety, depression, or sleep problems. - **Family therapy:** Getting the whole family involved can make a big difference. **Fact:** TF-CBT has been shown in studies to reduce PTSD symptoms in **up to 80% of children and adolescents** who complete the full course of therapy. **Why Family Support Matters So Much** One of the best things you can do for your teen is **show up with love and support**. Here’s why family support matters: - **Emotional safety:** Teens need to feel safe and understood at home - **Healthy habits:** Parents can model healthy ways to cope with stress - **Routines help:** A consistent schedule gives teens a sense of control - **Open talks:** Talking and listening without judgment builds trust Even if you’re not sure what to say, just being there helps. **Important Note:** Studies show that teens with strong family support are **twice as likely to respond positively** to PTSD treatment compared to those without it. **Why Early Help Is So Important** Getting help early can stop things from getting worse. Untreated PTSD can lead to school problems, risky behavior, or serious mental health issues. But with support, teens can lead happy, healthy lives. **Warning Sign:** Teens with PTSD are **at a higher risk for depression, substance use, and self-harm** if they don’t get help. ## ********Final Thoughts******** PTSD can deeply affect a teen’s life, but recovery is possible—with the right support. As a parent or caregiver, your presence, patience, and encouragement play a powerful role. You don’t need to have all the answers—just being there and helping your teen access professional care can make all the difference. Early support leads to better healing. You’re not alone, and neither is your teen. ## Would you become a Fuller Life GEM? Every GEM provides vital support, ensuring that finances are never a barrier to healing. Through your contribution, you can be the reason someone finds hope, healing, and strength. Whether it’s $25 or $100 a month, your partnership changes lives. **Join 44 other Fuller Life GEMS today and help us make mental health care is available to all** and shine as a beacon of hope. [Become a GEM today](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gem/) ![gems appreciation dinners 2025](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/4.png) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/2.png) ## [Erin Viramontes](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/erin/) Resident Therapist [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Erin-V-Round-Team-Headshots.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/erin/) Erin Viramontes ## More articles by our professional therapists about presence: - [ ![mindful moments in nature](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/qtq80-eq7W8T-768x512.jpeg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-moments-in-nature-how-to-be-well/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) | [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) ## [Mindful Moments in Nature: How to Be Well](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-moments-in-nature-how-to-be-well/) [ Read More Mindful Moments in Nature: How to Be WellContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-moments-in-nature-how-to-be-well/) - [ ![truly present this holiday](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/qtq80-oaLdYj-768x538.jpeg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/be-present-stress-free-holiday/) [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) | [Stress Management](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/stress-management/) ## [Be Present: 6 Simple Ways to Create a Stress-Free Holiday](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/be-present-stress-free-holiday/) [ Read More Be Present: 6 Simple Ways to Create a Stress-Free HolidayContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/be-present-stress-free-holiday/) - [ ![Trauma in the Body](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/trauma-768x512.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/trauma-in-the-body/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) | [Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/) | [Trauma and Loss](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/) ## [Trauma in the Body](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/trauma-in-the-body/) [ Read More Trauma in the BodyContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/trauma-in-the-body/) [![Fuller Life Logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Logo-high-res.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) ## **Looking for Affordable Therapy in Houston?** [Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) provides [affordable therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") in Houston for [individuals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/ "Individual Therapy"), [couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/), [kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/), [teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/), [groups](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) and [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) within an [intensive training](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/ "Train with Us") program. With [sliding scale](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") options and five convenient [locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/), care is accessible without compromising [clinical excellence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/ "Our Clinical Outcomes"). We provide specialized treatment with [Somatic EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/somatic-emdr-natural-processing/), [Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-therapy-2/), [Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sand-therapy/), [Art and Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/). [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/)[Our Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/)[Our Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Erin-V-Round-Team-Headshots.png) Erin Viramontes Erin earned a Master of Science in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from the University of St. Thomas in Houston and is a Licensed Professional Counselor-Associate under the supervision of Amy Fuller, PhD, LPC-S, LMFT-S. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/erin/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/erin/) **Categories:** Adolescents & Children, Child Abuse (Safety), Counseling, Mental Health, Trauma and Loss **Tags:** mental health, PTSD, trauma, youth --- ### [How to Calm an Overactive Brain After Trauma](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-calm-an-overactive-brain-after-trauma/) **Published:** March 6, 2025 **Author:** Shayla Johnson **Excerpt:** Trauma is not just something we remember—it physically changes how the brain works. If you’ve ever felt stuck in survival mode.. **Content:** Trauma is not just something we remember—it physically changes how the brain works. If you’ve ever felt **stuck in survival mode**, unable to relax, or constantly on edge, you’re not alone. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, a leading trauma expert and author of *The Body Keeps the Score*, explains that trauma disrupts the brain’s ability to process emotions, memories, and stress. But here’s the good news: **your brain can heal**. With the right tools, you can rewire your mind, reduce anxiety, and regain control over your life. In this blog, we’ll explore:In this blog, we’ll explore: - How trauma affects the brain - The **three key brain systems** impacted by trauma - **Effective techniques** to heal and rewire your brain - The **power of art therapy** in trauma recovery Let’s dive in. ![A woman hides her face in hands showing deep emotion and sadness in a studio setting.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/a-woman-hides-her-face-in-hands-showing-deep-emotion-and-sadness-in-a-studio-setting.-4584061-761x1024.jpg) ## ******What is Trauma? A Simple Explanation****** Trauma isn’t just about the **event**—it’s about how your brain and body react to it. **Dr. Bessel van der Kolk** defines trauma as an overwhelming experience that leaves a lasting impact on the nervous system. This can come from: - **Childhood neglect or abuse** - **Accidents, natural disasters, or violence** - **Toxic relationships or betrayal** - **Sudden loss or major life changes** Even if the traumatic event is over, your brain may still react **as if the danger is present**, causing anxiety, flashbacks, and emotional distress. But why does this happen? It’s because trauma affects the three main systems in the brain. ## ******The Three Brain Systems Affected by Trauma****** Trauma **rewires** the brain, making it hard to feel safe, regulate emotions, and process memories. Let’s break it down: ## **1. The Amygdala: Your Brain’s “Alarm System”** The amygdala is responsible for detecting threats. After trauma, it **becomes overactive**, causing: **Hyper-vigilance** (always feeling on edge) **Increased anxiety or panic attacks** **Difficulty feeling safe, even in calm environments** ## **2. The Hippocampus: Your Memory Center** The hippocampus organizes memories and helps **separate the past from the present**. Trauma can shrink this area, leading to: **Flashbacks and intrusive thoughts** **Trouble recalling details of past events** **Feeling like the trauma is happening all over again** ## **3. The Prefrontal Cortex: Your Rational Brain** This part of the brain controls **logic, decision-making, and emotional regulation**. Trauma weakens it, making it hard to: **Manage emotions and stress** **Stay focused or make decisions** **Feel in control of your thoughts** Now that we understand the impact of trauma, let’s explore **how to rewire the brain and heal.** ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/close-up-black-and-white-image-of-a-phrenology-head-with-brain-sections-labeled.-724994-scaled.jpg) ### You are not broken—you are healing. **Your brain, body, and soul are capable of transformation.** ## ********How to Rewire the Traumatized Brain******** The brain has something called **neuroplasticity**—meaning it can change and heal. Here are some **proven techniques** to help rewire your brain after trauma. ## **1. ****Try EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing) or Somatic EMDR****** (Natural Processing) Spending **intentional time** together helps keep your bond strong. Simple ways to make this happen include: - EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): is a therapy that helps **reprocess traumatic memories** by using **eye movements or tapping**. It’s one of the **most effective trauma treatments** today - Somatic EMDR (Natural Processing): is a therapy that helps connects the body with the emotion and experience further creating emotional resilience - CBT: Helps challenge your thought patterns and helps **change the way you think about yourself** after trauma ## 2. ****Build Safe Relationships**** Healing happens through **connection**. If trauma made you feel isolated, try: - **Joining a support group** - **Talking to a trusted friend and/or therapist** - **Practicing co-regulation** (being around calm, stable people) ## 3. ****Use Art Therapy to Heal Trauma**** **Art therapy** is a **powerful, science-backed** way to rewire the brain after trauma. Creative expression helps **process deep emotions** and **engage the brain in a safe way.** - **Painting & Drawing** – Releases emotions through colors and shapes. - **Clay & Sculpture** – Helps regain control and focus. - **Collage & Mixed Media** – Aids in memory integration and storytelling. - **Dance & Movement Therapy** – Encourages body awareness and emotional release. - **Music Therapy** – Lowers stress and improves mood. - **Exercise (walks in nature, yoga, swimming)** – lowers cortisol, reduces stress, improves flexibility, soothes the body. Art therapy **bypasses the need for words**, making it especially effective for those who struggle to talk about trauma. ## 4. ****Practice Mindfulness & Meditation**** Mindfulness teaches the brain to focus on the present instead of past trauma. It helps: - **Calm the amygdala** (reducing anxiety) - **Strengthen the prefrontal cortex** (improving emotional control) - **Lower stress and improve sleep Keep a journal (free writing and gratitude journals)** helps the brain organize thoughts and process emotions, flow freely, and focus on positive moments. Try **breathwork, guided meditation, or grounding exercises** like focusing on **what you can see, hear, and feel**. ## ****Final Thoughts: Your Brain Can Heal**** Healing from trauma takes time, but it **is possible**. The brain can **rewire itself**, and with **intentional practices** like mindfulness, movement, therapy, and creative expression, you can regain a sense of safety and control. You are not broken—you are healing. **Your brain, body, and soul are capable of transformation.** ###### Resident Therapist ## [Shayla Johnson, LPC-A](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/nicole-thompson/ "Shayla Johnson, LPC-A") ![Shayla Johnson](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-headshot-19.png) Shayla Johnson, LPC-A [![Fuller Life Logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Logo-high-res.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) ## **Looking for Affordable Therapy in Houston?** [Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) provides [affordable therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") in Houston for [individuals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/ "Individual Therapy"), [couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/), [kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/), [teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/), [groups](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) and [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) within an [intensive training](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/ "Train with Us") program. With [sliding scale](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") options and five convenient [locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/), care is accessible without compromising [clinical excellence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/ "Our Clinical Outcomes"). We provide specialized treatment with [Somatic EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/somatic-emdr-natural-processing/), [Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-therapy-2/), [Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sand-therapy/), [Art and Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/). [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/)[Our Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/)[Our Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ## More articles by our professional therapists about presence: - [ ![Distressed woman with 'HELP' on mouth in moody lighting, symbolizing silence and pressure.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/distressed-woman-with-help-on-mouth-in-moody-lighting-symbolizing-silence-and-pressure.-7699507-768x1152.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/recognizing-ptsd-in-teens-how-to-help-copy/) [Adolescents & Children](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/) | [Child Abuse (Safety)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/child-abuse/) | [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) | [Trauma and Loss](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/) ## [Recognizing PTSD in Teens: How To Help Them](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/recognizing-ptsd-in-teens-how-to-help-copy/) [ Read More Recognizing PTSD in Teens: How To Help ThemContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/recognizing-ptsd-in-teens-how-to-help-copy/) - [ ![hidden cracks intimate partner violence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/qtq80-DICwFC-768x509.jpeg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-hidden-cracks-signs-youre-in-an-abusive-relationship/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/couples-therapy/) | [Domestic Violence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/domestic-violence/) | [Emotions and Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/emotions-and-relationships/) | [Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/) | [Trauma and Loss](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/) ## [The Hidden Cracks: Signs You’re in an Abusive Relationship](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-hidden-cracks-signs-youre-in-an-abusive-relationship/) [ Read More The Hidden Cracks: Signs You’re in an Abusive RelationshipContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-hidden-cracks-signs-youre-in-an-abusive-relationship/) - [ ![Ambiguous Grief: Nurturing Compassion in the Healing Journey](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Screen-Shot-2024-06-28-at-53801-PM-768x553.png) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/ambiguous-grief-nurturing-compassion-in-the-healing-journey/) [Grief](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/grief/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) | [Trauma and Loss](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/) ## [Ambiguous Grief: Nurturing Compassion in the Healing Journey](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/ambiguous-grief-nurturing-compassion-in-the-healing-journey/) [ Read More Ambiguous Grief: Nurturing Compassion in the Healing JourneyContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/ambiguous-grief-nurturing-compassion-in-the-healing-journey/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-headshot-19.png) Shayla Johnson Resident Therapist As a professional with a Master of Arts in Counseling and a Master’s in Divinity from the Houston Graduate School of Theology, and licensed as a Professional Counselor Associate, I am dedicated to supporting you in your journey of self-discovery. I firmly believe that the answers we seek are within. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) Mental Health EMDR Art Therapy Self Compassion **Categories:** Anxiety & Panic, Art Therapy, Counseling, EMDR, Mental Health, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Awareness, Self-Care Practices, The Human Brain, Trauma and Loss --- ### [Protect Kids: A Simple Guide to Stopping Child Abuse](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/protect-kids-a-simple-guide-to-stopping-child-abuse/) **Published:** April 8, 2025 **Author:** Nicole Thompson **Excerpt:** April is Child Abuse Prevention Month, a time dedicated to spreading awareness, fostering education, and encouraging proactive steps... **Content:** April is Child Abuse Prevention Month, a time dedicated to spreading awareness, fostering education, and encouraging proactive steps to protect children from abuse and neglect. Every child deserves a safe, nurturing environment in which they can grow, thrive, and reach their full potential. Unfortunately, many children face harm in the very places meant to provide love and security. This month, let’s commit to learning, advocating, and taking action to end child abuse. ![A woman hides her face in hands showing deep emotion and sadness in a studio setting.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/a-woman-hides-her-face-in-hands-showing-deep-emotion-and-sadness-in-a-studio-setting.-4584061-761x1024.jpg) ## ********What is Child Abuse?******** Child abuse refers to any form of mistreatment that results in harm or potential harm to a child. It can occur in homes, schools, communities, and even online. Abuse can be intentional or result from neglect, but regardless of intent, it has lasting effects on a child’s well-being. ## **Types of Child Abuse** Child abuse encompasses various forms, including: - **Physical Abuse:** Inflicting bodily harm through hitting, burning, shaking, or other forms of violence. - **Emotional Abuse:** Subjecting a child to verbal attacks, humiliation, threats, or constant criticism, leading to emotional harm. - **Sexual Abuse:** Any form of sexual contact or exploitation involving a child. - **Neglect:** Failing to provide essential needs such as food, shelter, education, medical care, and emotional support. This can also include parentification, seen in role reversale where the child has adult responsibilities either for themselves, siblings, parents and the entire household. ### Build Trust By Spending Time Together**.** ## **Signs and Affects of Child Abuse** Recognizing abuse early can help protect children from further harm. Some common indicators include: - Consistent lack of supervision or basic necessities - Unexplained bruises, burns, or injuries - Fear of going home or being around certain individuals - Sudden changes in behavior, such as withdrawal or aggression - Delays in development, speech issues, or lack of proper hygiene ## **How Children Talk about Abuse and Why They Don’t Tell** Here are a few reasons why children may not talk about abuse, even though its wrong. When they do talk about it, here are some things they might say: - Fear of being punished or not believed - Feeling guilty or ashamed - Depending on the abuser for food, shelter, or love - Worrying that telling will hurt their family or make things worseTalk in pieces over time - Use art or behavior to “show” what’s wrong - Say things like “I don’t feel safe” or “Someone hurt me” - Complain about stomachaches or headaches often ## **How To Help and What To Do** To help a child open up your response matters, so take time to listen to them: - Build trust by spending time together - Teach kids about safe and unsafe touch - Use simple, clear language - Let them know they won’t get in trouble for telling the truth - Listen closely – Pay full attention. Don’t interrupt. - Stay calm – Even if you’re upset, stay steady so the child feels safe. - Believe them – Say “I believe you” and “You did the right thing.” - Don’t make promises you can’t keep – Especially about keeping secrets. - Tell the truth – Let them know what will happen next. - Don’t confront the abuser – Leave that to professionals. - Get help right away – Contact child protective services or the police. - Keep supporting them – Healing takes time. Be there. ## **Ways to Help Prevent Child Abuse and Break The Cycle** Ways to help: - Learn the signs and report abuse - Share helpful info with friends and family - Support families under stress - Volunteer or donate to child safety organizations - Speak up at schools, churches, and community events Many adults who were abused as kids still carry the pain. But healing is possible. Talking about abuse, supporting survivors, and offering counseling can break the cycle. By starting honest conversations, we **protect kids now and in the future**. ## ****Final Thoughts: Every Child Deserves a Safe Life**** Child Abuse Prevention Month reminds us that **keeping children safe is everyone’s job**. Whether you’re a parent, teacher, neighbor, or friend—you have the power to protect a child. Let’s **break the silence**, raise awareness, and take action so every child can grow up safe, happy, and free from harm. ###### Resident Therapist ## [Shayla Johnson](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/nicole-thompson/ "Shayla Johnson, LPC-A") ![Shayla Johnson](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-headshot-19.png) Shayla Johnson, LPC-A [![Fuller Life Logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Logo-high-res.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) ## **Looking for Affordable Therapy in Houston?** [Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) provides [affordable therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") in Houston for [individuals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/ "Individual Therapy"), [couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/), [kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/), [teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/), [groups](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) and [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) within an [intensive training](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/ "Train with Us") program. With [sliding scale](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") options and five convenient [locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/), care is accessible without compromising [clinical excellence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/ "Our Clinical Outcomes"). We provide specialized treatment with [Somatic EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/somatic-emdr-natural-processing/), [Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-therapy-2/), [Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sand-therapy/), [Art and Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/). [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/)[Our Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/)[Our Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ## More articles by our professional therapists about presence: - [ ![mindful moments in nature](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/qtq80-eq7W8T-768x512.jpeg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-moments-in-nature-how-to-be-well/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) | [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) ## [Mindful Moments in Nature: How to Be Well](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-moments-in-nature-how-to-be-well/) [ Read More Mindful Moments in Nature: How to Be WellContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-moments-in-nature-how-to-be-well/) - [ ![truly present this holiday](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/qtq80-oaLdYj-768x538.jpeg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/be-present-stress-free-holiday/) [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) | [Stress Management](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/stress-management/) ## [Be Present: 6 Simple Ways to Create a Stress-Free Holiday](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/be-present-stress-free-holiday/) [ Read More Be Present: 6 Simple Ways to Create a Stress-Free HolidayContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/be-present-stress-free-holiday/) - [ ![Trauma in the Body](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/trauma-768x512.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/trauma-in-the-body/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) | [Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/) | [Trauma and Loss](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/) ## [Trauma in the Body](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/trauma-in-the-body/) [ Read More Trauma in the BodyContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/trauma-in-the-body/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/FL-Headshot-Round-Nicole.png) Nicole Thompson I hold a master's degree in counseling psychology from Capella University and marriage and family therapy from Capella and Houston Christian University, respectively. I am a Prepare/Enrich and Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts (SYMBIS) facilitator which I use in my work with couples preparing for marriage. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapy Associate under the supervision of Amy Fuller PhD, LMFT, LPC. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/nicolethompson/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/nicolethompson/) Mental Health Sand Therapy EMDR Couples Therapy **Categories:** Counseling --- ### [Mindful Moments in Nature: How to Be Well](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-moments-in-nature-how-to-be-well/) **Published:** November 8, 2025 **Author:** Erin Viramontes **Excerpt:** When life feels noisy, crowded, or moving too fast, nature quietly invites us back to ourselves. Spending time outdoors doesn’t just feel good... **Content:** When life feels noisy, crowded, or moving too fast, nature quietly invites us back to ourselves. Spending time outdoors doesn’t just feel good — it’s good for you! Time in nature can lower stress, boost your mood, and sharpen your focus. Even a short walk outside can help your mind and body find their rhythm again. ## **********Why Going Outside Helps********** When you step outside, your mind gets a much-needed break from screens, distractions, and endless notifications. For a few moments, your thoughts begin to slow down. Your breath deepens. Just 10 to 20 minutes in nature can: - Lower stress levels by reducing cortisol, the stress hormone - Improve focus and clarity - Boost energy and creativity - Support better sleep A 2025 meta-analysis published in *Behavioral Sciences* found that even short, repeated visits to nature — as little as 10 minutes — can have real mental health benefits for adults experiencing stress, anxiety, or depression (MDPI, 2025). Sunlight also helps your body make vitamin D, which supports healthy brain function and emotional balance. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/a-stylish-woman-reads-outdoors-in-summer-exuding-elegance-and-leisure.-2925744-scaled.jpg) ![A tranquil forest path surrounded by towering trees under a clear sky.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/a-tranquil-forest-path-surrounded-by-towering-trees-under-a-clear-sky.-2186462-scaled.jpg) ## **********Mental Health Benefits of Spending Time in Nature********** **1. Reduces Anxiety and Depression** Spending time in nature calms the nervous system. When we’re surrounded by green spaces, our bodies and minds begin to relax. Even a quiet walk or sitting outside for a few minutes can help you feel more centered and at ease. **2. Improves Focus and Mental Clarity** Nature gives your brain a break from constant stimulation. After time outdoors, you may notice you can think more clearly and stay focused longer. **3. Boosts Mood and Happiness** Fresh air and natural light gently lift your spirits. Many people notice they simply feel better after time outdoors — more hopeful, balanced, and awake. **4. Encourages Mindfulness and Connection** It invites presence. When you pause to notice a breeze, birdsong, or sunlight through leaves, you connect more deeply to yourself and the world around you. **5. Supports Rest and Better Sleep** Exposure to natural light supports your circadian rhythm which makes it easier to fall asleep and wake feeling restored. ## **************Easy Ways to Get Outside************** You don’t need a grand plan — small moments count. Try weaving one or two of these practices into your day: - **Take a short walk during lunch or after dinner** - Try the 5-4-3-2-1 mindfulness technique and notice: - 5 things you can see - 4 things you can touch - 3 things you can hear - 2 things you can smell - 1 thing you can taste - **Read or journal outside** - Let sunlight and fresh air meet you where you are - **Practice grounding** - Take off your shoes and walk barefoot on grass, soil, or sand - Feel the earth beneath your feet. Let it steady your body and quiet your mind - **Visit a park with a friend** - Connection feels different in nature — slower, softer, easier - **Watch the sunrise or sunset** - These transitions remind us to pause, reflect, and begin again Consistency makes a big difference. Even a few mindful minutes outdoors can impact your day. --- ## ## When you step outside, your mind gets a much-needed break from screens, distractions, and endless notifications. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/qtq80-M6IEGk.jpeg) ## ****What If You Can’t Go Outside?**** Some days, getting outdoors isn’t possible — and that’s okay. You can still bring nature to you: - Open a window for sunlight and fresh air - Add plants or flowers to your space - Listen to rain, the wind, or birdsong - Look at photos or videos of forests, beaches, or mountains — or hang nature pictures that help you feel calm Even small reminders of nature can help your body relax and your mind reset. ## **********Final Thoughts: Nature Nurtures********** As the holiday season approaches, life tends to speed up — lots of plans, gatherings, and to-do lists. It’s easy to get caught in the hurry. Stepping outside, even for a few quiet minutes, invites you to slow down, breathe, and return to yourself. Your mental health matters. Nature offers a simple, accessible way to care for it. So go outside today. Feel the air. Notice the sky. Let nature meet you where you are and remind you to be well! ###### Resident Therapist ## Erin Viramontes ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/Erin-V-Round-Team-Headshots.png) [Erin Viramontes, LPC-A](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/erin/ "Erin Viramontes") ## More articles by our professional therapists about mindfulness: - [ ![truly present this holiday](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/qtq80-oaLdYj-768x538.jpeg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/be-present-stress-free-holiday/) [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) | [Stress Management](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/stress-management/) ## [Be Present: 6 Simple Ways to Create a Stress-Free Holiday](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/be-present-stress-free-holiday/) [ Read More Be Present: 6 Simple Ways to Create a Stress-Free HolidayContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/be-present-stress-free-holiday/) - [ ![Trauma in the Body](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/trauma-768x512.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/trauma-in-the-body/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) | [Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/) | [Trauma and Loss](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/) ## [Trauma in the Body](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/trauma-in-the-body/) [ Read More Trauma in the BodyContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/trauma-in-the-body/) - [ ![mindful self care](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/canstockphoto102686218-768x512.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/10-simple-ways-to-practice-mindful-self-care/) [Cognitive Reframing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/cognitive-reframing/) | [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) | [Self-Validation (affirmations)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/self-validation-affirmations/) | [Time Management](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/time-management/) ## [10 Simple Ways to Practice Mindful Self-Care](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/10-simple-ways-to-practice-mindful-self-care/) [ Read More 10 Simple Ways to Practice Mindful Self-CareContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/10-simple-ways-to-practice-mindful-self-care/) ![Fuller Life Logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Logo-high-res.png) ## **Looking for Affordable Therapy in Houston?** Fuller Life provides [affordable therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") in Houston for individuals, couples, and families. With sliding scale options and five convenient locations, care is accessible without compromising clinical excellence. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/)[About Our Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/)[Our Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Erin-V-Round-Team-Headshots.png) Erin Viramontes Erin earned a Master of Science in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from the University of St. Thomas in Houston and is a Licensed Professional Counselor-Associate under the supervision of Amy Fuller, PhD, LPC-S, LMFT-S. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/erin/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/erin/) **Categories:** Counseling, Mental Health, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Care Practices --- ### [10 Simple Ways to Practice Mindful Self-Care](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/10-simple-ways-to-practice-mindful-self-care/) **Published:** January 27, 2023 **Author:** Riya Roney **Excerpt:** Mindfulness is the practice of being present and paying attention to the here-and-now. It takes intentionality of mindfulness to bring self-care into true practice. **Content:** Have you experienced being on the go-go-go and along the way recognize that it is hard to go-go-go? Do you look back and wonder what happened? More likely than not, it is because your well-being was not prioritized on the journey, and over time, burnout took place. It takes mindfulness and self-care to slow down and catch up with yourself before burnout occurs. “Self-care” is a phrase that has been trending lately. It seems to have so many meanings and misconceptions. So, what is [self-care](https://www.everydayhealth.com/self-care/)? A useful definition of self-care is to “be proactive in preserving or improving one’s well-being.” The components of one’s well-being include physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and social health. To practice the active role of self-care, one would need to be mindful. Mindfulness is the practice of being present and paying attention to the here and now. It takes the intentionality of mindfulness to bring self-care into true practice. Many believe they practice “self-care” when indulging in mind-numbing activities such as binge-eating or binge-watching. However, recognizing now that these practices do not prioritize one’s well-being, it is more accurate to say that these unhealthy practices can often be avoidant behavior. Oftentimes, such behaviors or habits are from years of avoiding the problem at hand. The discomfort or the physical tension that is associated with the struggle gets numbed or muted when overridden by unhealthy behavioral patterns (e.g., drinking alcohol, smoking, binging, or even overdoing some form of “healthy” activity). Take a moment to identify any of these behaviors that you may be used to override the uncomfortable things in your life. Do you recognize how it also impairs your ability to protect your well-being? Here are 10 mindful ways you can begin practicing self-care. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/image.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/image.png) ## 1. **Create Boundaries** Boundaries may be an unfamiliar word for many! It is uncomfortable to set boundaries in relationships where they have not previously existed. However, sometimes self-care looks like simply saying “no.” While it could initially be hard to implement, you will come to appreciate the peace of mind that comes with setting appropriate boundaries for yourself. ## 2. **Ask for help** When something seems “off,” know that you have access to someone, such as a therapist, who can help you. When it comes to physical health concerns, you know you need to consult with your physician. In the same way, mental health needs to be properly addressed. ## 3. **Disciplined Lifestyle** Having a general routine throughout the day is ideal as it helps the body and mind function better. This may include waking up at a certain time daily, going to and returning from work, eating meals at the same time, and having a certain bedtime. While routines do not need to be strict, it is beneficial for the body to have basic guidelines to follow. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/canstockphoto70533529-edited-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/canstockphoto70533529.jpg) ## 4. **Discover Nature** Go outside. Especially in our fast-paced world and work-from-home lifestyles, it is easy to forget to prioritize time spent outdoors. Nature is therapeutic. To stop and smell the roses, listen to the birds chirping, soaking in the sun, all have its benefits on the body, mind, and soul. Nature has a way of relaxing us in more ways than one. ## 5. **Eat Mindfully** Oftentimes, meals eaten without the company of others can turn into quick consumption of food along with the distraction of social media or tv. Try this instead. When you eat, [just eat](https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/mindfulness-is-the-secret-to-effective-self-care). Think about where your food comes from. Eat foods that are nutritionally dense. Engage in the process of how the earth grew this food and focus on chewing, savoring, and enjoying your meals. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/canstockphoto2397096-300x188.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/canstockphoto2397096-scaled.jpg) ## 6. **Exercise** Allow yourself to work out for the health benefits and not as a punishment. Recognize that the physical movement of your body allows the release of necessary [neurotransmitters](https://www.healthline.com/health/depression/exercise#How-does-exercise-impact-the-brain), such as endorphins and dopamine. Some of the benefits of these neurotransmitters include stress relief, better sleep, improved moods, and increased pleasure sensation. ## 7. **Journal** Regular [journaling](https://www.trackinghappiness.com/how-to-self-care-journal/) is a great habit to put into practice. It is a therapeutic medium that therapists often recommend. Journaling is a way for you to release pent-up feelings, process the events of the day, practice gratefulness, and even self-reflect. ## 8. **Limit Social Media Intake** Looking into the highlight reels of others’ lives can leave you feeling inadequate in comparison. Shocking news updates can cause increased stress or worry, or it could even be that too much [social media](https://www.mindful.org/a-guide-to-practicing-self-care-with-mindfulness/) usage lessens your productivity. Instead, engage in the physical presence of loved ones as much as possible as social health is an important aspect of self-care. ## 9. **Maintain Hygiene** Many believe that self-care is pampering oneself with a spa day, getting professional manicures, or soaking for hours in a bubble bath. Self-care does not have to be extravagant, however. Brushing your teeth, showering, getting regular haircuts, or trimming your nails regularly are all simple ways you care for and nurture your body. ## 10. **Meditation** Just breathe. Breathe through the tensions, anxiety, or stress that may arise. [YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vkYJf8DOsc) has a variety of breathing practices you could try. There are apps that help you in moments of heightened stress. Sometimes, meditation can look like prayer, as it enriches and nourishes you spiritually. If you would like to explore more options on how to better care for yourselves, feel free to contact us at [Fuller Life Family Therapy](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91). [![Riya Roney](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Fuller-Life-2018-Riya-Roney-2.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/riya/)Riya Roney ## [Riya Ro](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/riya/)ney Licensed Professional Counselor [![Fuller Life Logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Logo-high-res.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) ## **Looking for Affordable Therapy in Houston?** [Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) provides [affordable therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") in Houston for [individuals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/ "Individual Therapy"), [couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/), [kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/), [teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/), [groups](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) and [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) within an [intensive training](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/ "Train with Us") program. With [sliding scale](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") options and five convenient [locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/), care is accessible without compromising [clinical excellence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/ "Our Clinical Outcomes"). We provide specialized treatment with [Somatic EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/somatic-emdr-natural-processing/), [Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-therapy-2/), [Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sand-therapy/), [Art and Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/). [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/)[Our Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/)[Our Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Fuller-Life-2018-Riya-Roney-2.jpg) Riya Roney Clinical Therapist I hold a Master of Arts in Professional Counseling from Dallas Baptist University. My training and education have prepared me to work with children, adolescents, teens, young adults, adults, as well as couples and families. I have also completed a comprehensive Online Therapy Training and have been certified to conduct telehealth. I am trained in Somatic EMDR and work with individuals and couples with trauma, mindfulness practices, and emotional regulation. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor and a Graduate of Fuller LIfe holding a Post-Graduate certificate in Marriage and Family Therapy. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/riya-roney/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/riya-roney/) Mental Health Mindfulness EMDR Anxiety Emotion Regulation Counseling [ ![social network icon](data:image/svg+xml;base64,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) ](https://www.linkedin.com/in/riya-v-050269161/) **Categories:** Cognitive Reframing, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Care Practices, Self-Validation (affirmations), Time Management **Tags:** mindfulness, mindfulness practice, self care --- ### [Healing Practices: The Importance of Play](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-the-importance-of-play/) **Published:** April 23, 2013 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** This is our second post in a series where we explore [daily practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices/ "Healing Practices") that nurture and encourage healing. Our last post discussed the “[Healing Power of Beautiful Spaces](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-power-of-beautiful-spaces/ "Healing Power of Beautiful Spaces").” Daily habits can contribute to increased levels of happiness and contentment. Several practices have been proven to decrease levels of anxiety and depression. Moreover, we can increase the functionality of our immune systems, and our feelings of well being. Just as we pick up our toothbrush every day, we can begin to create new habits that influence the way we feel. **[![Jet skis](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Jet-skis-192x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-the-importance-of-play/jet-skis/)The Importance of Play** > Life is far too serious a matter to take too seriously. Jon Kabat-Zinn What happens to play when we are adults? We watch as our children run, jump, explore, and pretend. They get lost in their imaginations and lose sight of their inhibitions. Then, somewhere along the years, we receive the message that we need to start acting our age. Unfortunately, when we stop making time for play, we become more stressed, and our feelings of happiness and well-being diminish. **Enhances Well-Being** > The opposite of play is not work… it is depression. Stuart Brown Brené Brown’s book, [The Gifts of Imperfection](http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_18?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=the+gifts+of+imperfection&sprefix=the+gifts+of+imper%2Caps%2C369 "The Gifts of Imperfection"), explores ten research driven “guideposts” [![Women Knitting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Women-Knitting-199x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-the-importance-of-play/women-knitting/)we can cultivate to live more fully. “Cultivating Play and Rest” is the seventh guidepost. In her [blog](http://www.brenebrown.com/my-blog/2011/5/31/nesting-play.html "Nesting Play"), Brown describes her journey in learning to incorporate the practice of play into her own life: > In our culture our TO-DO lists are so extensive that we feel like slackers if we are not working to check off tasks every single minute of the day and night. Even sleep has started to feel self-indulgent. Stuart Brown identifies losing track of time as an important property of play. Understanding this property of play has taught me a lot about myself. For me, nesting is play. Piddling around my house is play. Editing photos is play… Play is essential to creating balance in our modern life. Sometimes we treat ourselves like machines, as we work longer and harder hours to meet [![62604_10200330807986283_991488260_n](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/62604_10200330807986283_991488260_n-300x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-the-importance-of-play/62604_10200330807986283_991488260_n/)the demands of an ever-increasing workload and responsibilities. The demands continue to pile on, in spite of our efforts, until we feel overwhelmed and burned-out. This endless treadmill of tasks and demands can affect health and relationships as it can lead to depression, anxiety, or anger. When we allow ourselves time for rest and play, we begin to feel human again. “Because work is where we spend much of our time, it is especially important for us to play during work. Without some recreation, our work suffers. Success at work does not depend on the amount of time you work. It depends upon the quality of your work. And the quality of your work is highly dependent on your well-being.” ([Gina Kemp, M.A., Melinda Smith, M.A., Bernie DeKoven, and Jeanne Segal, 2012](http://www.helpguide.org/life/creative_play_fun_games.htm "Play, Creativity and Learning")) **What is Play?** In his book, [Play: How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul](http://www.amazon.com/Play-Shapes-Brain-Imagination-Invigorates/dp/1583333789/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1366383311&sr=8-1&keywords=play+how+it+shapes+the+brain "Play: How it Shapes the Brain"), [![Hiking](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Hiking-300x219.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices/hiking/)Stuart Brown lists seven properties of play: - Play is voluntary - It makes you feel good - It is fun without a purpose - We lose track of time - In the midst of play we forget to be self-conscious - The process of play encourages improvisation. It is not rigid. - Play creates a desire to continue (We get hooked because it feels good!) **Mind-Body Connection** [![Bicycling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Bicycling-300x199.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-the-importance-of-play/bicycling/) What happens when we actively schedule time for play into our daily lives? Our brain lights up! - Play improves cognitive abilities such as problem solving skills and memory. - Play improves relationships with others as it increases flexibility, fosters creativity, improves social skills, and reduces stress. - Play spices up our loves life as it fosters, joy, bonding, trust, and intimacy. - Play releases endorphins (the “feel good” hormone) into the body. **Make Time for Play** Play is an essential element of mental health. The next time someone says, “You should act your age,” remember the tremendous benefits of play for the mind, body, and relationships. Take some time this week to run out and explore, pretend, laugh, and play a pointless game with a friend. Make time to play. \[pb\_vidembed title=”Stuart Brown: Play is More than Fun” caption=”Stuart Brown: Plenty of play in childhood makes for happy, smart adults — and keeping it up can make us smarter at any age.” url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHwXlcHcTHc” type=”yt” w=”480″ h=”385″\] **More Resources on Play** - [Playful Activities for Couples](http://www.deepfun.com/couples.html "Playful Activities for Couples") - [Pointless Games for Families and Groups](http://www.deepfun.com/pointless.html "Pointless Games") - [Great article and resources: Play, Creativity, and Lifelong Learning: Why Play Matters for Both Kids and Adults.](http://m.helpguide.org/articles/emotional-health/creativity-play-lifelong-learning "Play, creativity, and lifelong learning: Why play matters for both kids and adults") [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Couples, Covid-19, Emotional Intelligence, Emotions and Relationships, Marriage, Mental Health, Mindfulness Practice, Parenting, Play Therapy, Relationships, Self-Care Practices, Social Skills, Stress Management, The Human Brain **Tags:** couples, emotional intelligence, emotions, marriage, mental health, parenting, relationships, self-care practices, social skills, stress management --- ### [Four Truths about Stepfamilies that You Need to Know](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/four-truths-stepfamilies/) **Published:** February 15, 2017 **Author:** Tamara Tatum **Content:** Stepfamilies are, and have been, on the rise. In fact, [over 50% of American families are remarried or recoupled](http://www.stepfamily.org/stepfamily-statistics.html). Yet, there appears to be limited conversation around what is gradually becoming the “norm” for the American family. If you are in the process of “blending” families, here are some important pointers to consider: 1. ### Families don’t blend overnight Patience is key to the process of blending families. It can take up to seven years to form a successful stepfamily. Unrealistic expectations of a quick and fairly smooth transition to becoming a family can be a major source of disappointment and strife. Be prepared for a slow, but hopefully rewarding, process! 2. ### ”Ghosts” can be the death of blending families Ron Deal, founder of Smart Stepfamilies, calls these “[ghosts](http://www.smartstepfamilies.com/view/ghost-whispers).” The “ghosts” could be wounds from the previous marriage, or injuries from family of origin relationships, or even unresolved hurts from the present relationship’s history. You might notice yourself or your spouse becoming especially defensive discussing a particular topic or becoming exceedingly upset upon finding household items from your spouse’s previous marriage in your new home. The [danger of the “ghosts”](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/13/ghost-of-marriage-past_n_5490048.html) lingering around without your awareness is that they often serve to place the “haunted” person in a posture of self-protection. It becomes difficult to build intimacy and form an “us” when both parties are busy protecting the “I.” You might want to ask yourself, *“When I am not haunted by this ghost, how am I acting toward my partner in a way that is giving, serving and trusting?”* (Deal, 2006). Or, if you notice your spouse struggling in the present with issues that have happened in the past, ask yourself “*How can I show compassion to my spouse in this moment and not react defensively to his (or her) fear?”* Forming a stepfamily involves a lot of risk-taking and courage! 3. ### The children are caught in the middle While creating a stepfamily can be a time of great gain, it is also a season of considerable loss. A few of the losses incurred by the children may include the death of a parent, divorce or leaving a once familiar life. Give time for the children (and for yourself) to grieve these losses. It is not unusual to notice children feeling torn between wanting to be loyal to both biological parents. Occasionally children even take advantage of the fact that their biological parents are living separately and may not be on best terms with each other. For example, a child might find ways to avoid punishments or obtain extra privileges. 4. ### Step-parenting is a complex dance You and your partner might have fallen in love with each other not fully knowing what you were bargaining for when adding the other’s children to the mix. Stepping into a child’s life is to be broached with caution. A rule of thumb for a stepparent is to enter the relationship gradually. [Both boys and girls, though especially girls,](http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/stepfamily.aspx) prefer verbal affirmations, compliments, etc. as opposed to physical affection at the onset of the stepparent-child relationship. [Step-parenting is likely the most challenging aspect of forming a stepfamily.](http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/stepfamily.aspx) When it comes to discipline and nurturance, the biological parent takes the lead. It is recommended that the stepparent come in as a “babysitter” (Deal, 2006) or a [“camp ](http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/stepfamily.aspx)counselor” (APA, 2017) at first. This means that he or she is a responsible adult who is aware of and can enforce rules that are already in place but doesn’t create new rules. When both partners have children, it is important to have a consistent set of rules, even if each parent takes the lead with their biological children (Deal, 2006). To support a stepparent, the biological parent may say something like “*I know \_\_\_ is not your real mom (or dad), but when I’m not around, she (or he) will be enforcing the rules we all agreed on.”* This is not to say that the stepparent has no voice regarding their stepchildren’s behavior. Those conversations and negotiations can happen behind closed doors (Deal, 2006). Over time, as trust and mutual respect begins to develop between you and your stepchildren, you may be able to move into more of a “parental” role, disciplining and nurturing the children. For more information and tips on how to make a successful stepfamily, check out our Scoop It! page on titled “[Navigating Separation, Divorce and Blended Families](http://www.scoop.it/t/navigating-separation-divorce-and-blended-families)”. References Deal, Ron L. (2006). The Smart Stepfamily: Seven Steps to a Healthy Family. https://psychcentral.com/lib/8-myths-of-fostering-a-healthy-stepfamily/ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/13/ghost-of-marriage-past\_n\_5490048.html ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-150x150.jpg) Contributed by [Tamara Tatum, LMFT-Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tamaratatum/) Supervised by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-e1631305233968.jpg) Tamara Tatum [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) Mental Health Family Therapy Divorce, Separation, Blended Families Parenting Healing Trauma Relationships **Categories:** Adolescents & Children, Blended Families, Divorce, Family Therapy, Parenting **Tags:** blended family, stepfamilies, stepfamily, stepparenting --- ### [The Art of Parental Conflict: Tips for Arguing To Your Kids' Benefit](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parents-conflict-fight/) **Published:** June 14, 2018 **Author:** Angela Blocker **Content:** Parental conflict is inevitable. It’s going to happen. There is also a clear link between interparental conflict and children’s behavioral and emotional problems, in both divorced and intact families. However, parents can fight in ways that fosters positive outcomes in their children. ### The Importance of Fighting Fair Research has shown that the content of the argument is less impactful on childhood development than *the way* decisions are handled by the parents. Kids are constantly learning how to interact and engage by watching their parents. Throwing verbal low-blows, criticizing and blaming back and forth demonstrates a lack of respect for each other. (Even worse, you may find your middle-schooler responding just as disrespectfully to you and to others!) Instead, choose to put away defensiveness, be curious about the perspective of your spouse, and treat them kindly. This does not mean one parent just giving in to the other parent though. “We did a study on that,” says psychologist E. Mark Cummings. He has studied the effects of interparental conflict on children for decades. Cummings and his colleagues at Notre Dame found that kids do not respond well to seeing their parents capitulate. In fact, the most problematic reactions from kids came from witnessing parents express nonverbal anger like stonewalling, avoidance, shutting down, or being unwilling to cooperate. When parents withdraw from one another it is actually more disturbing to kids in the long term than open conflict. He explains, “Kids understand hostility. It tells them what’s going on and they can work with that. But when parents withdraw and become emotionally unavailable, kids don’t know what’s going on. They just know things are wrong.” It becomes harder for kids to regulate themselves. This remained true regardless of the relationship status of their parents. ### Create a Strong Partnership (outside of your kids) University of California Berkley’s [Philip Cowan](https://psychology.berkeley.edu/people/philip-cowan) studies the impact of the marriage relationship on children. He found a connection between improvements in the quality of marital relationships and parent-child relationships and the children’s ability to adapt. In other words, the quality of your marriage, or relationship with your ex-spouse, matters because it affects parenting. As therapist and psychologist [Laura Berman, Ph.D](https://www.webmd.com/laura-berman)., explains, “No matter how sacrilegious it sounds…you need to put your relationship before your children. A [strong relationship](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/personal-growth-for-interpersonal-relationships/) provides security for your children and demonstrates how a loving, respectful partnership. What could be more important?” This may look like being more intentional about daily touch points with one another during the day, showing affection in front of your children, holding conversations where children are not the main topic. If parenting issues are continually eroding your marriage, it may be helpful to evaluate whether your [emotional desires](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201206/helping-parents-distinguish-love-emotional-hunger) are being met through your children. #### What if We’re Divorced? Even if you are not together anymore, it is better for children to have parents who choose to back each other up and work together as a team, than to have parents (even with all the greatest parenting skills) who lack a supportive relationship. Take time to communicate with your co-parent to verify stories from your children and involve one another in important decisions affecting your kids. ### Is Conflict bad? Interparental conflict isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, children exposed to healthy conflict can learn effective ways to manage differences and solve problems. They grow when they see their parents calm themselves down, assert themselves without putting the other down, and regulate their emotions instead of shifting blame. Fuller Life is here to help families stay on the same team and raise strong, healthy, secure children. D.D. (2014, April 30). What Happens to Children When Parents Fight. Retrieved February 15, 2018, from Gregory, L. (2017, November 30). When Parents Fight: The Pros and Cons of Arguing in front of Your kids. Retrieved February 15, 2018, from https://globalnews.ca/news/3655488/when-parents-fight-the-pros-and-cons-of-arguing-in-front-of-your-kids/&p=DevEx,5036.1 Additional Reading: > [Four Truths about Stepfamilies that You Need to Know](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/four-truths-stepfamilies/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Angela-Blocker-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Contributed by [Angela Blocker, M.A, LMFT Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Clinical Supervision by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) [![Fuller Life Logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Logo-high-res.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) ## **Looking for Affordable Therapy in Houston?** [Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) provides [affordable therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") in Houston for [individuals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/ "Individual Therapy"), [couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/), [kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/), [teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/), [groups](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) and [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) within an [intensive training](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/ "Train with Us") program. With [sliding scale](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") options and five convenient [locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/), care is accessible without compromising [clinical excellence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/ "Our Clinical Outcomes"). We provide specialized treatment with [Somatic EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/somatic-emdr-natural-processing/), [Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-therapy-2/), [Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sand-therapy/), [Art and Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/). [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/)[Our Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/)[Our Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Angela-Blocker-LMFT-e1631303162413.png) Angela Blocker [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) Mental Health Play Therapy Parenting Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Adolescents & Children, Communication, Parenting, Parenting, Relationships **Tags:** divorce, Fighting fair, parental conflict, Strong partnership --- ### [How to Spot Bullying in Boys and Intervene Early](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-spot-bullying-in-boys-and-intervene-early/) **Published:** September 12, 2025 **Author:** Erin Viramontes **Excerpt:** Bullying is not just “kids being kids.” For adolescent boys, it can cause lasting harm to mental health, school performance, and even long-term well-being. **Content:** Bullying is not just “kids being kids.” For adolescent boys, it can cause lasting harm to mental health, school performance, and even long-term well-being. Research shows that bullying is linked to higher rates of depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts in teens (CDC, 2023). Because boys often feel pressure to “be tough,” they may suffer in silence. This makes it even harder for parents, teachers, and mentors to notice what’s happening. In this article, we will explore what bullying can look like for boys, how it affects them, warning signs to notice, and practical steps parents can take to help ## ******What Does Bullying Look Like for Boys?****** According to the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES), about 1 in 5 students ages 12–18 report being bullied at school (NCES, 2019). For boys, bullying often looks like: - **Physical bullying:** hitting, pushing, or tripping. - **Verbal bullying:** name-calling, racial or homophobic slurs, or teasing about appearance. - **Exclusion:** being left out of sports, group chats, or friend groups. - **Cyberbullying:** mean messages, embarrassing photos, or social media attacks. - **Performance shaming:** mocking grades, sports ability, or hobbies. While some dismiss these behaviors as “normal,” research shows that they can have very real consequences. ![Sad boy holding books tightly, showing signs of bullying and isolation in a classroom.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/sad-boy-holding-books-tightly-showing-signs-of-bullying-and-isolation-in-a-classroom.-7929442-scaled.jpg) ![teen boys bullying](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/a-distressed-woman-sits-alone-on-a-city-sidewalk-leaning-against-a-brick-wall.-7929578-scaled.jpg) ## ******Why Bullying Hits Teen Boys Differently****** The American Psychological Association notes that boys are less likely than girls to tell an adult when they are bullied (APA, 2018). This silence often stems from social pressure to appear strong. Other reasons bullying impacts boys in unique ways include: - **Masculinity pressure.** Boys are often told “don’t be weak,” which makes reporting feel shameful. - **Peer competition.** Popularity, sports rankings, and online clout can increase bullying. - **Identity development.** Boys who don’t fit traditional stereotypes are more likely to be targeted. These pressures make it clear that bullying isn’t only about conflict—it’s about identity, belonging, and mental health. ## **********The Lasting Effects of Bullying********** Research confirms that bullying can have lasting negative effects on boys: - **Mental health:** Victims of bullying are more than twice as likely to develop depression and anxiety disorders (National Institute of Mental Health, 2022). - **Academic struggles:** Boys who are bullied often experience lower grades and school avoidance (CDC, 2023). - **Physical health:** Stress from bullying can trigger headaches, stomachaches, and sleep problems. - **Risk behaviors:** The Journal of Adolescent Health found that boys who are bullied are at higher risk for substance use and aggressive behavior later (2019). - **Suicidality:** A meta-analysis of 43 studies showed that bullying victims are at increased risk of suicidal thoughts and attempts (Gini & Espelage, 2014). Because the stakes are so high, spotting bullying early is critical. --- ## ## Victims of bullying are more than twice as likely to develop depression and anxiety disorders ![Young adults holding protest signs advocating for respect and environmental awareness.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/young-adults-holding-protest-signs-advocating-for-respect-and-environmental-awareness.-8553341-scaled.jpg) ## **********Warning Signs Parents Should Watch For********** Adolescents may not always say they are being bullied. Instead, parents should watch for: - Avoiding school or activities they once enjoyed - Lost or damaged belongings - Anxiety when checking phones or computers - Sudden mood changes like irritability, anger, or sadness - Physical complaints without a medical cause - Withdrawal from friends or family If you see several of these warning signs, it may be time to act. ## ******How Parents Can Help****** Here are five helpful steps parents can take: 1. **Stay calm.** Your child’s brain mirrors your emotions—calmness makes them feel safe (Siegel, 2012). 2. **Listen first.** Boys often share more when parents validate their feelings rather than rush to fix things. 3. **Label it clearly.** Let your son know: “That’s bullying, and it’s not your fault.” 4. **Plan for safety.** Work with him on safe people, safe places, and safe online practices. 5. **Engage the school.** Schools are legally required to address bullying. Keep a record of incidents, dates, and communications. **Building Strength and Resilience** Parents and mentors can reduce the risk of harm by helping to build protective skills, according to developmental psychology research: - **Teach emotional literacy.** Help boys name emotions like anger, sadness, and embarrassment. - **Promote healthy masculinity.** Encourage the idea that real strength includes empathy and asking for help. - **Encourage belonging.** Even one strong connection (sports, arts, clubs) can protect against bullying stress. - **Strengthen digital safety.** Use privacy settings and encourage limits on social media. ## **Standing With Your Son** Bullying is painful, but it does not have to define your son’s future. Teen boys who receive strong support from parents, mentors, and professionals recover more quickly and develop resilience. Our therapy team at Fuller Life walks alongside adolescent boys and their families with care and understanding. Together, we work to break the silence and move beyond shame—building confidence, healing, and meaningful connection. ###### Resident Therapist ## [Erin Viramontes](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/erin/) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/Erin-V-Round-Team-Headshots.png) [Erin Viramontes, LPC-A](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/erin/ "Erin Viramontes") [![Fuller Life Logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Logo-high-res.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) ## **Looking for Affordable Therapy in Houston?** [Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) provides [affordable therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") in Houston for [individuals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/ "Individual Therapy"), [couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/), [kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/), [teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/), [groups](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) and [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) within an [intensive training](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/ "Train with Us") program. With [sliding scale](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") options and five convenient [locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/), care is accessible without compromising [clinical excellence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/ "Our Clinical Outcomes"). We provide specialized treatment with [Somatic EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/somatic-emdr-natural-processing/), [Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-therapy-2/), [Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sand-therapy/), [Art and Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/). [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/)[Our Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/)[Our Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ## More articles by our professional therapists about grief: - [ ![Person underwater with eyes open, representing self-awareness and the effort of staying awake rather than avoiding inner experience.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/evelyn-verdin-Z543CMKt5o0-unsplash-768x576.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-awareness-staying-awake/) [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) | [Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/) | [The Human Brain](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/the-human-brain/) ## [Self-Awareness: How Your Survival Instincts Keep You Asleep](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-awareness-staying-awake/) [ Read More Self-Awareness: How Your Survival Instincts Keep You AsleepContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-awareness-staying-awake/) - [ ![31 Days of Wellness to Wrap Up Your Year](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/Be-well-Images-2025-8-768x512.png) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/bewell/) [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) | [Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) | [The Human Brain](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/the-human-brain/) ## [31 Days of Wellness to Wrap Up Your Year](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/bewell/) [ Read More 31 Days of Wellness to Wrap Up Your YearContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/bewell/) - [ ![mindful moments in nature](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/qtq80-eq7W8T-768x512.jpeg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-moments-in-nature-how-to-be-well/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) | [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) ## [Mindful Moments in Nature: How to Be Well](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-moments-in-nature-how-to-be-well/) [ Read More Mindful Moments in Nature: How to Be WellContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-moments-in-nature-how-to-be-well/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Erin-V-Round-Team-Headshots.png) Erin Viramontes Erin earned a Master of Science in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from the University of St. Thomas in Houston and is a Licensed Professional Counselor-Associate under the supervision of Amy Fuller, PhD, LPC-S, LMFT-S. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/erin/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/erin/) **Categories:** Counseling --- ### [Turning Toward Love: How to Strengthen Your Relationship This Valentine’s Day](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/strengthen-your-relationship/) **Published:** February 5, 2025 **Author:** Nicole Thompson **Excerpt:** One of the most effective ways to strengthen your bond is by turning toward each other instead of pulling away. **Content:** As **Valentine’s Day** approaches, many couples find themselves reflecting on their relationship. If you and your partner often struggle with **conflict** or feel emotionally disconnected, February is the perfect time for a **reset** to strengthen Your relationship. One of the most effective ways to strengthen your bond is by **turning toward each other** instead of pulling away. This means actively engaging, **responding to each other’s needs**, and nurturing emotional connection—even in the smallest moments. ![Happy couple in bathrobes holding 'LOVE' balloons, enjoying a cozy moment indoors.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/happy-couple-in-bathrobes-holding-love-balloons-enjoying-a-cozy-moment-indoors.-6439146-scaled-e1738804227262.jpg) ## ****The Science of Turning Toward Your Partner**** Drs. **John and Julie Gottman** have studied relationships for decades. Their research shows that couples who consistently **turn toward each other** during daily interactions have an **86% success rate** in staying together. In his book, *The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work*, John Gottman explains that relationships thrive when partners **honor bids for connection**—the small gestures we make to seek love, attention, or support. These bids can be **verbal** (like asking about your day) or **nonverbal** (like reaching for a hug). When partners acknowledge and respond to these bids, they **strengthen their emotional connection**. However, ignoring or dismissing these moments can create **distance and resentment** over time. ## ****Recognizing Bids for Connection**** ## Verbal Bids: “Hey, look at this!” (Sharing something interesting) “How was your day?” (Seeking conversation) “I had a tough day.” (Asking for emotional support) “I love you.” (Expressing affection and hoping for a response) ## Nonverbal Bids: Reaching for a hug or touch Making eye contact and smiling Sighing loudly (A possible sign they need comfort) Sitting close or leaning in ![Intimate close-up of a couple in denim jeans holding hands, symbolizing love and connection.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/intimate-close-up-of-a-couple-in-denim-jeans-holding-hands-symbolizing-love-and-connection.-3693861-scaled.jpg) ### *A strong, loving relationship isn’t built in a day—it’s built in **small moments***… ## ******7 Ways to Strengthen Your Connection and Turn Toward Each Other****** ## **1. Prioritize Quality Time Together** Spending **intentional time** together helps keep your bond strong. Simple ways to make this happen include: - Taking a walk and talking about your day - Sharing meals without screens or distractions - Creating daily or weekly rituals (like morning coffee together or a Friday movie night) ## 2. **Communicate with Curiosity and Presence** Deepen your connection by engaging in **meaningful conversations**: - Ask open-ended questions: *“What’s been on your mind lately?”* - Listen actively: Maintain eye contact, nod, and respond with validation. - Show empathy: *“That sounds tough. I’m here for you.”* When you **truly listen**, your partner feels **seen and valued**, which strengthens your emotional connection. ## 3. **Express Appreciation and Affection Regularly** Put away distractions like phones or laptops when spending time together. This small but powerful act shows your partner they are your priority. ## 4. **Be Mindful in the Moment** Focus on being fully present in each interaction. Pay attention to your partner’s words, emotions, and nonverbal cues. Let go of outside worries and immerse yourself in the here and now. ## 5. **Show Empathy and Validation** Even if you don’t fully understand your partner’s feelings, acknowledge and validate them. Simple phrases like, “I hear you,” or “That makes sense,” show that you care about their emotional experience. ## 6. **Use Nonverbal Communication** Nonverbal cues like eye contact, nodding, and open body language show you’re engaged and present. These subtle gestures can deepen your connection and foster trust. ## 7. **Plan Intentional Quality Time** Create special moments together by planning intentional activities. Even small acts like a “15-minute date” or a cozy evening without distractions can go a long way in building your bond ## **The Life-Changing Power of Turning Toward Each Other** A strong, loving relationship isn’t built in a day—it’s built in **small moments** of connection over time. By responding to your partner’s **bids for love and attention**, you create a foundation of **trust, intimacy, and deep emotional connection**. This **Valentine’s Day**, make a conscious effort to turn toward each other. It’s not about **big, grand gestures**—it’s about **consistent, meaningful interactions** that strengthen your bond every day. ## **Ready to Strengthen Your Relationship?** Start small. Listen more. Appreciate often. And most importantly, show up for your partner in the **small moments that matter most**.oth partners. ###### Resident Therapist ## [Nicole Thompson, LPC-A](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/nicole-thompson/ "Nicole Thompson, LPC-A") ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/FL-Headshot-Round-Nicole.png) [Nicole Thompson, LPC-A](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/nicole-thompson/) ## More articles by our professional therapists about presence: - [ ![Mindfulness Rain](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Picture1-768x620.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindfully-weathering-the-storm-with-r-a-i-n/) [Anxiety Issues](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/anxiety-issues/) | [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) | [Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) | [Stress Management](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/stress-management/) ## [Mindfully Weathering the Storm with R.A.I.N. ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindfully-weathering-the-storm-with-r-a-i-n/) [ Read More Mindfully Weathering the Storm with R.A.I.N. Continue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindfully-weathering-the-storm-with-r-a-i-n/) - [ ![Self-Care in the Time of Crisis](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/canstockphoto24429978-scaled-768x512.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-time-crisis/) [Anxiety & Panic](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/anxiety/) | [Anxiety Issues](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/anxiety-issues/) | [Covid-19](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/covid-19/) | [Depression](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/depression/) | [Gratitude](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/gratitude/) | [Lifestyle](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/lifestyle/) | [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) | [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) | [Stress Management](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/stress-management/) ## [Self-Care in the Time of Crisis](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-time-crisis/) [ Read More Self-Care in the Time of CrisisContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-time-crisis/) - [ ![A Growth Mindset Can Prevent Burn Out!](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/canstockphoto14339328-1-scaled-768x512.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout-2/) [Cognitive Reframing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/cognitive-reframing-3/) | [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Emotional Intelligence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/emotional-intelligence/) | [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) | [Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/) ## [A Growth Mindset Can Prevent Burn Out!](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout-2/) [ Read More A Growth Mindset Can Prevent Burn Out!Continue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout-2/) [![Fuller Life Logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Logo-high-res.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) ## **Looking for Affordable Therapy in Houston?** [Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) provides [affordable therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") in Houston for [individuals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/ "Individual Therapy"), [couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/), [kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/), [teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/), [groups](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) and [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) within an [intensive training](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/ "Train with Us") program. With [sliding scale](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees") options and five convenient [locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/), care is accessible without compromising [clinical excellence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/ "Our Clinical Outcomes"). We provide specialized treatment with [Somatic EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/somatic-emdr-natural-processing/), [Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-therapy-2/), [Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sand-therapy/), [Art and Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/). [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/)[Our Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/)[Our Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/FL-Headshot-Round-Nicole.png) Nicole Thompson I hold a master's degree in counseling psychology from Capella University and marriage and family therapy from Capella and Houston Christian University, respectively. I am a Prepare/Enrich and Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts (SYMBIS) facilitator which I use in my work with couples preparing for marriage. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapy Associate under the supervision of Amy Fuller PhD, LMFT, LPC. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/nicolethompson/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/nicolethompson/) Mental Health Sand Therapy EMDR Couples Therapy **Categories:** Couples, Marriage, Relationships --- ### [Power of Kindness: Simple Steps for Kids and Families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/power-of-kindness-simple-steps-for-kids-and-families/) **Published:** November 29, 2024 **Author:** Shayla Johnson **Excerpt:** eaching kindness isn’t just about helping others; it’s about fostering a sense of connection, gratitude, and empathy. **Content:** As parents, we play a crucial role in helping our children understand and practice kindness. By modeling compassion and encouraging thoughtful actions, we can raise kids who care deeply about others. Here are practical and simple ways to make kindness a part of your child’s everyday life: ## **1. Model Kindness in Everyday Actions** Children learn by watching. Show them what kindness looks like through your actions. Small gestures like holding the door open, saying “thank you,” or helping a neighbor demonstrate thoughtfulness. Speak gently, be patient, and show empathy toward others to set a positive example. ## ****2. Encourage Empathy Through Questions**** Help your child see the world from someone else’s perspective. Ask questions like, “How do you think your friend felt when they lost the game?” or “What would you want someone to do if you were upset?” These prompts help kids understand and connect with others’ emotions. ![Caleb Fuller Life GEMS](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/shutterstock_2343681645-1024x683.jpg) ## ******3. Praise Kind Actions****** When your child shares, helps, or comforts someone, acknowledge it! Positive reinforcement, like saying, “I loved how you helped your sister with her homework,” encourages them to repeat these behaviors. Highlighting their kindness shows them it’s valued and meaningful. ## **4. Teach Gratitude as a Path to Kindness** Practicing gratitude fosters an appreciation for others, which naturally leads to more compassionate behavior. Start a simple family tradition, like sharing one thing you’re thankful for or a kind act you saw that day during dinner or bedtime. This helps kids focus on the positive and builds an attitude of kindness. ## **Why Kindness Matters** Teaching kindness isn’t just about helping others; it’s about fostering a sense of connection, gratitude, and empathy. By modeling compassion and encouraging thoughtful actions, we can inspire our children to grow into caring individuals who bring light to the world around them. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Screen-shot-2013-03-25-at-10.20.33-PM-e1364268549516.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Screen-shot-2013-03-25-at-10.20.33-PM-e1364268549516.png) ## **5. Make Kindness a Family Activity** NShow your child that kindness is fun and fulfilling! Plan family projects that spread positivity, like: - Baking cookies for neighbors. - Donating toys, books, or clothes to those in need. - Writing thank-you notes together. These activities teach children that small efforts can make a big difference in someone’s day. [![Mom and child baking cookies at home, enjoying quality family time in cozy interior.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/mom-and-child-baking-cookies-at-home-enjoying-quality-family-time-in-cozy-interior.-8035971-684x1024.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/mom-and-child-baking-cookies-at-home-enjoying-quality-family-time-in-cozy-interior.-8035971-scaled.jpg) ## ****6. Set Boundaries Around Kindness**** Teach your child that kindness starts with respecting themselves. Let them know it’s okay to say no if they feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed. Healthy boundaries ensure they can care for others without neglecting their own well-being. Kindness is more than just a lesson—it’s a lifelong gift we can give our children and the world around them. By teaching empathy, modeling compassion, and encouraging acts of kindness, we help our kids build meaningful relationships and navigate life with a caring heart. These small, consistent efforts can create a ripple effect, shaping a generation that values connection, gratitude, and love. Let’s nurture kindness in our homes and watch it grow into something truly beautiful. ###### Resident Therapist ## [Shayla Johnson](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/ "Shayla Johnson") ![Shayla Johnson](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-headshot-19.png) ## More articles by our professional therapists about grief: - [ ![Two teenagers in casual attire, standing outdoors with a modern backdrop, smiling.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/two-teenagers-in-casual-attire-standing-outdoors-with-a-modern-backdrop-smiling.-4816754-768x432.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-spot-bullying-in-boys-and-intervene-early/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) ## [How to Spot Bullying in Boys and Intervene Early](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-spot-bullying-in-boys-and-intervene-early/) [ Read More How to Spot Bullying in Boys and Intervene EarlyContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-spot-bullying-in-boys-and-intervene-early/) - [ ![A man in a cassock kneeling and praying in a church pew, expressing deep faith.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/a-man-in-a-cassock-kneeling-and-praying-in-a-church-pew-expressing-deep-faith.-7218381-768x512.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapy-and-spirituality-a-powerful-duo-for-healing/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Partnership](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/partnership/) | [Spirituality](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/spirituality/) ## [Therapy and Spirituality: A Powerful Duo for Healing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapy-and-spirituality-a-powerful-duo-for-healing/) [ Read More Therapy and Spirituality: A Powerful Duo for HealingContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapy-and-spirituality-a-powerful-duo-for-healing/) - [ ![Distressed woman with 'HELP' on mouth in moody lighting, symbolizing silence and pressure.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/distressed-woman-with-help-on-mouth-in-moody-lighting-symbolizing-silence-and-pressure.-7699507-768x1152.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/recognizing-ptsd-in-teens-how-to-help-copy/) [Adolescents & Children](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/) | [Child Abuse (Safety)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/child-abuse/) | [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) | [Trauma and Loss](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/) ## [Recognizing PTSD in Teens: How To Help Them](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/recognizing-ptsd-in-teens-how-to-help-copy/) [ Read More Recognizing PTSD in Teens: How To Help ThemContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/recognizing-ptsd-in-teens-how-to-help-copy/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-headshot-19.png) Shayla Johnson Resident Therapist As a professional with a Master of Arts in Counseling and a Master’s in Divinity from the Houston Graduate School of Theology, and licensed as a Professional Counselor Associate, I am dedicated to supporting you in your journey of self-discovery. I firmly believe that the answers we seek are within. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) Mental Health EMDR Art Therapy Self Compassion **Categories:** Compassion, Counseling, Family Therapy, Parenting, Relationships **Tags:** compassion, family, kindness --- ### [Be Present: 6 Simple Ways to Create a Stress-Free Holiday](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/be-present-stress-free-holiday/) **Published:** December 9, 2024 **Author:** Shayla Johnson **Excerpt:** The holiday season should be a time of joy, but it often feels overwhelming. Here are simple ways to create a stress-free holiday and find peace amid the chaos. **Content:** The holiday season should be a time of joy, but it often feels overwhelming. From endless to-do lists to financial stress, it’s no wonder many of us feel drained by the time the new year arrives. Thankfully, there are simple ways of being that can nurture a stress-free holiday to help you find peace amid the chaos. Here are six practical tips to help you be present and enjoy the holidays without burning out. ## **1. Practice Mindfulness with Gratitude** Feeling overwhelmed? Pause and ground yourself. Mindfulness can help you focus on the present moment instead of worrying about what’s next. Spend a few minutes each day breathing deeply or enjoying simple pleasures like sipping tea or gazing at holiday lights. Pair this with gratitude. Writing down three things you’re thankful for every day can shift your mindset from stress to joy. Even small things, like a smile from a friend or a cozy blanket, can bring perspective. ## ****2. Simplify Your To-Do List and Set Boundaries**** The holidays don’t have to be perfect. Focus on what matters most—spending time with loved ones and creating memories. Let go of unrealistic expectations, and don’t be afraid to say no to extra commitments that feel overwhelming. By simplifying your to-do list and setting boundaries, you’ll free up time and energy for the things that truly bring you happiness. ![Close-up of a person taking notes in a notebook, writing a to-do list with a pencil.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/close-up-of-a-person-taking-notes-in-a-notebook-writing-a-to-do-list-with-a-pencil.-4238511-300x200.jpg) ## ******3. Budget Smart and Plan Ahead****** Financial stress is one of the biggest holiday challenges, but you can ease it by setting a budget. Decide in advance how much you’ll spend on gifts, decorations, and meals—and stick to it. Look for creative ways to save, like homemade gifts or potluck gatherings. Planning ahead can also help you avoid last-minute scrambling. Create a to-do list early in the season, and tackle tasks little by little to reduce pressure. ## **4. Take Breaks and Rest** Rest isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. Make time to recharge, even during the busiest days. A 10-minute walk, a quick nap, or simply sitting quietly can do wonders for your mood and energy levels. Self-care is also essential. Block out time to do something you enjoy, like reading, journaling, or taking a bubble bath. When you care for yourself, you’ll have more to give to others. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/qtq80-aYUNUV.jpeg) ## **5. Ask for Help and Share the Load** You don’t have to do it all alone. Whether it’s wrapping presents, cooking a meal, or decorating the house, ask for help from family and friends. Sharing the workload not only reduces stress but also brings loved ones together in meaningful ways. ## **6. Notice Small Joys and Be Present with them** Sometimes, it’s the little things that make the holidays magical. Pause to notice the laughter of loved ones, the smell of freshly baked cookies, or the beauty of twinkling lights. **These small moments can help you stay present and remind you of the joy this season brings.** ## ****Enjoy the Season, One Step at a Time**** The holidays don’t have to be stressful. By practicing mindfulness, simplifying your to-do list, and focusing on small joys, you can create a season that feels peaceful and meaningful. Remember, it’s okay to rest, say no, and ask for help. Start small today, and let the holiday magic unfold in its own time. ## Give Presence At Fuller Life, we are focusing on the present of presence for our year-end campaign with a goal or raising $20,000 to provide affordable therapy to those who need it most. Learn more and give here. [The Present of Presence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/presence/) ###### Resident Therapist ## [Shayla Johnson](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/ "Shayla Johnson") ![Shayla Johnson](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-headshot-19.png) ## More articles by our professional therapists about grief: - [ ![Two friends share a supportive moment outdoors, highlighting affection and companionship.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/two-friends-share-a-supportive-moment-outdoors-highlighting-affection-and-companionship.-5543374-768x512.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mental-health-stigma/) [Addiction & Recovery](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/addiction-recovery/) | [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) ## [Breaking the Silence: Practical Steps to Overcome Mental Health Stigma](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mental-health-stigma/) [ Read More Breaking the Silence: Practical Steps to Overcome Mental Health StigmaContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mental-health-stigma/) - [ ![A child crouched under cushions on a couch, conveying a sense of playfulness or fear.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/a-child-crouched-under-cushions-on-a-couch-conveying-a-sense-of-playfulness-or-fear.-262103-768x512.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/protect-kids-a-simple-guide-to-stopping-child-abuse/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) ## [Protect Kids: A Simple Guide to Stopping Child Abuse](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/protect-kids-a-simple-guide-to-stopping-child-abuse/) [ Read More Protect Kids: A Simple Guide to Stopping Child AbuseContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/protect-kids-a-simple-guide-to-stopping-child-abuse/) - [ ![Happy couple in bathrobes holding 'LOVE' balloons, enjoying a cozy moment indoors.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/happy-couple-in-bathrobes-holding-love-balloons-enjoying-a-cozy-moment-indoors.-6439146-scaled-e1738804227262-768x730.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/strengthen-your-relationship/) [Couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/couples-therapy/) | [Marriage](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/marriage-counseling/) | [Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/) ## [Turning Toward Love: How to Strengthen Your Relationship This Valentine’s Day](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/strengthen-your-relationship/) [ Read More Turning Toward Love: How to Strengthen Your Relationship This Valentine’s DayContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/strengthen-your-relationship/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-headshot-19.png) Shayla Johnson Resident Therapist As a professional with a Master of Arts in Counseling and a Master’s in Divinity from the Houston Graduate School of Theology, and licensed as a Professional Counselor Associate, I am dedicated to supporting you in your journey of self-discovery. I firmly believe that the answers we seek are within. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) Mental Health EMDR Art Therapy Self Compassion **Categories:** Mindfulness Practice, Self-Care Practices, Stress Management --- ### [Self-Awareness: How Your Survival Instincts Keep You Asleep](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-awareness-staying-awake/) **Published:** January 24, 2026 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Excerpt:** When life feels noisy, crowded, or moving too fast, nature quietly invites us back to ourselves. Spending time outdoors doesn’t just feel good... **Content:** Most of us don’t realize we’ve fallen asleep until something jolts us awake. It might be snapping at someone we love and not quite knowing why. Or realizing we’ve driven all the way home and don’t remember the drive. Or hearing ourselves say something sharp and thinking, *That didn’t sound like me.* Those moments aren’t just lapses in patience or attention. They’re signs we’re moving through our lives on autopilot—functioning, but not fully aware. Like being underwater without noticing the depth, we adjust to the pressure, reacting instead of choosing, defending instead of noticing. This is what it means to fall asleep to ourselves. Self-awareness is the practice of staying awake. It’s the willingness to notice what’s happening inside us—our thoughts, emotions, body responses, and impulses—*as they’re happening*, not after the damage is done. And while that sounds simple, it’s often deeply uncomfortable. Waking up means sensing the pressure, recognizing how deep we’ve gone, and seeing patterns we’d rather explain away, justify, or ignore. As [Dr. David Schnarch](https://www.crucible4points.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/Living_at_the_Bottom_of_the_Ocean.pdf) wrote, *“You start to wake up and think you’re in a nightmare.”* Initially, waking up feels worse, not better, so it makes sense that we resist it. Furthermore, waking up to a nightmare prompts an urge to go back to sleep. Without awareness, we repeat what we don’t understand. We adapt to the pressure, assume it’s normal, and call it personality, stress, or “just the way things are.” And at some level, we know there’s more going on—that staying submerged and avoiding, or trying to fix things from autopilot, hasn’t really worked. ## **********Why Self-Awareness is So Hard********** Human beings are wired to survive, not to stay awake to lived experience. From a survival standpoint, self-awareness can feel dangerous. Looking inward risks encountering pain, grief, fear, or desire—experiences that once felt overwhelming or unsafe. Many of the ways we learned to cope were intelligent responses to real situations earlier in life. We learned when to stay quiet, when to pull back, when to smooth things over, and when not to want too much. Those strategies worked then. The trouble is, the nervous system doesn’t automatically update. The original threat may be long gone, but the body still responds as if it’s present. Awareness now feels destabilizing because it increases pressure on the very strategies that once kept us safe. For example, someone who learned early on that expressing anger led to conflict or rejection may grow into an adult who prides themselves on being calm, reasonable, and accommodating. On the surface, it looks like maturity. But underneath, the body may carry chronic tension, resentment, or exhaustion. Becoming aware of that anger doesn’t feel liberating at first—it feels risky, disorienting, and unsafe. And when anger is suppressed, it often takes other emotions with it—joy, desire, creativity, even clarity—because, as [Brené Brown](https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_the_power_of_vulnerability) has noted, we can’t numb selectively—when we suppress one emotion, we dampen access to many others. Play Dr Amy Fuller on Waking Up So many people go back to sleep. Not dramatically. Quietly. We stay busy. We focus on others. We manage, explain, rationalize, distract, or try to “work on the relationship.” Some ruminate instead, which often creates more pressure rather than clarity. Either way, the goal is the same: avoid sustained contact with what feels too painful to hold. ![Waking up and self-awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/self-aware-blog-front.png) In [Living at the Bottom of the Ocean](https://www.crucible4points.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/Living_at_the_Bottom_of_the_Ocean.pdf), Dr. David Schnarch points out, it’s common to think we’re awake when we’ve actually returned to sleep—just with better explanations for why nothing needs to change. Going to sleep is adaptive. But many people remain asleep long after the need to adapt has passed. And by then, the cost is often high—showing up as chronic tension, relational distance, reactivity, or a vague sense of living under pressure without knowing why. ![Waking up and self-awareness lion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Lion-and-thorn-image.png) ## **********The Lion and the Thorn********** The fable of *Androcles and the Lion* captures this dynamic perfectly. In the story, a lion is terrorizing a village. No one can stop him. He’s aggressive, frightening, and destructive. When Androcles finally approaches the lion instead of fleeing, he doesn’t try to reason with him or control him. He looks closely. And he sees the truth. There’s a thorn embedded in the lion’s paw. When the thorn is removed, the lion stops terrorizing the village. When people lack self-awareness, they often resemble the lion. Pain that goes unexamined doesn’t stay contained. It comes out sideways—in reactivity, withdrawal, defensiveness, control, cruelty or distance. Sometimes people know there’s a thorn. Sometimes they don’t. Either way, the behavior impacts the people around them. Most of the time, when we’re hurting, we look outward first. We blame. We explain. We argue. We shut down. We rarely pause with nonjudgmental curiosity and ask what’s happening inside us. Looking inward isn’t the instinct. Avoidance is. And yet, nothing changes until someone is willing to look closely. ## **************A Way to Focus************ Self-Awarenes************s************** The best kind of self-awareness is an ability to track yourself—your reactions, patterns, and functioning under pressure—without immediately trying to escape what you notice. It means asking: *What am I actually feeling right now? What’s driving this reaction? What am I protecting myself from?* Staying present to those questions rarely feels good at first. Awareness usually brings pain before it brings clarity. That’s why people demand comfort. Comfort would allow them to avoid the very thing they’re trying not to see. But unexamined pain doesn’t disappear. It shows up in relationships. It shapes patterns. It quietly injures connection. ![Person observing their reflection in water, representing self-tracking and nonjudgmental self-awareness.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/polina-OAX3xG0M64M-unsplash-scaled.jpg) --- ## ## Awareness usually brings pain before it brings clarity. ![Waking up and self-awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/staying-awake.png) ## ****Staying Awake Is the Work**** Growth means you can stay awake to what is true even when you don’t feel great. This means staying awake to your internal experience—even when it’s uncomfortable. Even when it threatens how you’ve learned to survive. Even when it reveals grief, fear, longing, or responsibility you’d rather not face. This is what builds resilience for the truth. Over time, something shifts. Not because life gets easier, but because you become more solid. You react less and respond more. Emotions become information instead of emergencies. You can tolerate what’s real without handing it off to someone else. Better relationships don’t come from perfect communication or conflict-free interactions. They come from people who are willing to find their own thorn—and stay present long enough to remove it. ## **The Good News about Self-Awareness** People don’t stay asleep because they’re unaware. They stay asleep because waking up hurts. Being self-aware is holding awareness of what’s already there—including the thorn that keeps showing up in your life or relationships. The good news is this: we can grow the resilience needed to stay awake. It’s a capacity you build. And awareness is the key to building it. As you begin to track yourself—your reactions, your patterns, the moments that overwhelm you—you start to see what reliably pulls you underwater and out of presence. You notice the situations that lead you to overreact and hurt others, to withdraw or move away from connection, or to soothe yourself in ways that ultimately do more harm than good. Awareness creates space. Tracking leads to reflection. Reflection allows choice. This is slow, deliberate work, and it’s hard to sustain alone. A therapist can be invaluable in helping you notice what you miss, stay present when things get uncomfortable, and reflect on patterns without collapsing into shame or defensiveness. ![woman coming up in the water reflecting self growth and resilience ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/getty-images-3c5RUGjSC3s-unsplash-scaled.jpg) Play Only One Form of Self-Awareness Regulates Emotions ## Practice Self-Awareness with Noticing Staying awake doesn’t mean you’ll always respond well. It means you’ll notice when you don’t. Awareness doesn’t always always stop those instinctual moments of reactivity—but it can shortens the distance between impact and repair. It allows you to pause sooner, own your part more clearly, and choose differently the next time the familiar moment shows up again. If you want a place to start, don’t aim for insight. Aim for noticing. This week, pay attention to one moment when you feel reactive, defensive, or shut down. Don’t fix it. Don’t analyze it. Just notice what’s happening in your body, what story you’re telling yourself, and what you’re trying to protect. That moment of noticing—that small interruption of autopilot—is what staying awake looks like. And over time, those moments are what change the way we live, love, and lead. This is the heart behind our *Year of Self-Development* project—a sustained invitation to grow a more solid self so you can live fully awake with a full and meaningful life. If this resonates, we invite you to stay connected with us. Follow Fuller Life via our [newsletter](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=109), [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/FullerLifeFamilyTherapy), [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/fullerlifefamilyinstitute/), [linked in](https://www.linkedin.com/company/3595830/admin/dashboard/) or [You Tube](https://www.youtube.com/@fullerlifefamilytherapy) for ongoing reflections, resources, and conversations about self-awareness, resilience, and growing a solid self over time. ## Want to learn more? Read this brilliant manuscript by the late Dr. David Schnarch called **[Living at the Bottom of the Ocean: Curing Emotional Meltdowns and Coming Alive,](https://www.crucible4points.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/Living_at_the_Bottom_of_the_Ocean.pdf)** to learn more about how growing in self-awareness allows you to recognize when you are regressed, regain cognitive and emotional functioning, and move out of reactive survival states toward real aliveness. ## A Note on the Story This fable is also explored in a short animated video called [Why Introspection Matters by The School of Life](https://youtu.be/s-NiJzwdN0Y?si=Q1daPfJb6s6CXPPS), which illustrates how unexamined inner pain often appears as outward aggression or relational difficulty. Play Why Introspection Matters ###### Clinical Director ## [Amy Fuller, PhD](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/ "Dr. Amy Fuller, Clinical Director") ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/FL-Headshout-Round-Amy.png) ## More articles by our professional therapists about grief: - [ ![A woman holding a vivid green fern leaf in an autumn forest, showcasing nature's beauty.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/a-woman-holding-a-vivid-green-fern-leaf-in-an-autumn-forest-showcasing-natures-beauty.-612892-768x513.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/feel-the-fear-and-grow-anyway-a-simple-how-to/) [Anxiety & Panic](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/anxiety/) | [Anxiety Issues](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/anxiety-issues/) | [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) ## [Feel the Fear And Grow Anyway: A Simple How-To](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/feel-the-fear-and-grow-anyway-a-simple-how-to/) [ Read More Feel the Fear And Grow Anyway: A Simple How-ToContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/feel-the-fear-and-grow-anyway-a-simple-how-to/) - [ ![A happy couple in winter clothing, enjoying hot drinks outdoors during a snowy day.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/a-happy-couple-in-winter-clothing-enjoying-hot-drinks-outdoors-during-a-snowy-day.-6530618-768x1152.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/holiday-connection-how-to-be-present-with-your-partner/) [Couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/couples-therapy/) | [Empathy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/communication/empathy/) | [Intimacy & Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/intimacy-sex-therapy/) | [Marriage](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/marriage-counseling/) | [Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/) ## [Holiday Connection: How to Be Present with Your Partner](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/holiday-connection-how-to-be-present-with-your-partner/) [ Read More Holiday Connection: How to Be Present with Your PartnerContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/holiday-connection-how-to-be-present-with-your-partner/) - [ ![truly present this holiday](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/truly-present-this-holiday-768x512.png) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/truly-present-this-holiday-season/) [Gratitude](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/gratitude/) | [Lifestyle](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/lifestyle/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) ## [How to Be Truly Present This Holiday Season](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/truly-present-this-holiday-season/) [ Read More How to Be Truly Present This Holiday SeasonContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/truly-present-this-holiday-season/) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/6d17399acfd9b615dcc0b9c59c57e5ae8935bb0c93952030fbf48b72220e0445?s=300&r=g) Amy Fuller PhD Clinical Director Dr. Amy Fuller is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and professional counselor with over two decades of experience specializing in sex therapy, couples therapy, and trauma. She earned her master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Abilene Christian University and her PhD from St. Mary’s University. Dr. Fuller is the founder and Clinical Director of Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, a nonprofit in Houston committed to providing affordable mental health care and advanced therapist training. She is an AASECT-certified sex therapist and supervisor, known for her compassionate and evidence-based approach. Dr. Fuller serves as the Specialization Director for Sex Therapy and Trauma in the Doctor of Professional Counseling program at Kairos University, where she mentors emerging clinicians. With a passion for making therapy accessible and equipping therapists for meaningful, lasting work, Dr. Fuller integrates clinical excellence, spirituality, and cultural responsiveness into every aspect of her practice. [See Full Bio](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) [ ](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) Couples Therapy Healing Trauma Sex Therapy Mental Health Family Therapy EMDR Relationships Mindfulness [ ![social network 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](https://www.linkedin.com/in/amyfullerphd/) **Categories:** Mental Health, Self-Awareness, The Human Brain --- ### [The Superpower of Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-awareness/) **Published:** February 5, 2014 **Author:** Lesley Anne Mendonça **Content:** We live in an age of self-awareness; it is an age in which we have the capability to monitor and measure our daily living. We are surrounded by means to *quantify* our existence: Scales for our weight, programs for measuring food intake, mobile apps to balance spending, trackers of all kinds for things like physical activity and sleep. But are these measurements descriptive of the whole human person? Our existence is not limited to our physical presence in the world, but also our emotional and spiritual presence. To be fully aware of who we are is truly a *process* that serves a great purpose. Abounding research proves that having full awareness of *who* *we are* leads to much greater self-efficacy (Mattingly & Lewandowski, 2013). Simply put, self-awareness enables us to live more powerfully and effectively in our world. We develop the capability to understand the roots of our recurring issues so that our [relationships ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-declutter-our-relationships/ "relationships")enjoy increased functioning and freedom. The Dalai Lama says that, “to have greater self-awareness or understanding means to have a better grasp of reality;” our increased grasp of reality serves as a *superpower* for a fully enjoyed life with no (or at least *minimal*) blind spots! **The Body** When we consider how to become more aware of ourselves, a wonderful place to start is in our body. At what points during the day do we feel increased heart rates or muscle tension? Can we catch ourselves growing fidgety? Are there times when we experience more headaches and upset stomachs? Where are we when we experience increased or decreased relaxation in our body? This practice is separate from merely measuring quantitatively; this type of awareness leads to increased emotional and spiritual health. Moving forward from here, we can begin asking “why” and noticing patterns. **The Mind** Another great way to increase self-awareness is to begin noticing our thought patterns. It is a common tendency to occasionally think in negative and distorted ways, which can have powerful effects on how we feel. The task here is to challenge some of the false assumptions we make about ourselves and our world. This process is called *[cognitive restructuring](http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201301/cognitive-restructuring "cognitive restructuring").* Dr. Alice Boyes offers a few steps to challenging some of our automatic thoughts. We can practice noticing when cognitive distortions arise and track the accuracy of our thoughts. And we can even go further by behaviorally testing the legitimacy of our thoughts or assumptions. One of the greatest priorities in gaining awareness of our thoughts and assumptions is considering our early environment and its effect on us. For example, *what unspoken rules did we learn about our world and ourselves?* The insight we gain informs us on how we got to where we stand today. Often, as adults, we generalize the rules we learned in our early environment to the whole world. However, there is great benefit in reevaluating what rules might no longer be helpful to us. Our [thoughts ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/scary-thoughts/ "thoughts")hold strong power over our emotions and behaviors, often leaving us feeling a bit out of control; however, awareness places the power back in our own hands. **The Soul** Finally, we can become aware of our emotional climate, and how it affects who we are in our world. Dr. Harold [Duncan ](http://prestonplacecounseling.com/ "Duncan")describes emotional self-awareness as “the ability to maintain self-reflectiveness even amidst turbulent emotions”. So we can start by asking ourselves: When is the last time I had a strong emotional reaction to something? What insight can I draw from that memory? Throughout the process of understanding our emotions, we begin to change the relationship we have with ourselves to a far more positive and encouraging one. Rather than chaotically responding to our environment, we can use our awareness to respond with wisdom and [compassion ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-compassion/ "compassion")to ourselves while considering our unique needs. We become the insightful owners of our emotion when we gain that precious awareness. As we continue surveying our emotional inner landscape, we can gently ask ourselves questions such as: What do I expect of myself? What do I expect of my [relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-declutter-our-relationships/ "relationships")? What types of relationships do I gravitate towards? What upsets me? What are my strengths and weaknesses and how does good come from both? What would others say are my areas of improvement? What nourishes my soul? And one can always play around with the question, “Where does this come from?” for further insight. [![canstockphoto5430154](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/canstockphoto5430154-300x166.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/canstockphoto5430154-e1391635007272.jpg) Though seemingly daunting at first, increasing self-awareness can be an ongoing and fun journey. The goal in gaining self-awareness is not to be perfect, but rather to be accepting of who we are and thus become more impactful individuals. This practice bears fruit in the most powerful way: we are able to become powerful instruments in the world by fully utilizing every imperfect part of us. What’s more, learning this provides wonderful ground for being compassionate and accepting of others – thus enriching our [relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-declutter-our-relationships/ "relationships"). Awareness is the powerful first step to finding freedom from whatever ails us. It must, however, go hand-in-hand with self-compassion. So if, along the journey, one finds he might need a little help – there is always [support](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/ "support"). For those of us who have had upbringings with [trauma](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/yoga-and-trauma/ "trauma"), it can be a bit scarier to confront the details of our childhood and adolescence. But rest assured, there is always hope. For [more tips](http://tinybuddha.com/blog/develop-self-awareness-and-improve-your-relationships/ "more tips") on how to bravely increase your self-awareness, check out author Lori Deschene’s thoughts. Enjoy the journey! Becker-Phelps, L. (2013). All self-improvement starts here. *Psychology Today.* Retrieved from: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/making-change/201308/all-self-improvement-starts-here Mattingly, B.A. & Lewandowski, G.W. (2013). An expanded self is a more capable self: The association between self-concept size and self-efficacy. *Self & Identity, 12*(6), 621-634. [![Lesley Anne Mendonça](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Lesley-Photo-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Lesley-Photo.jpg) [Lesley Anne Mendonça,](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/lesley-anne-me%E2%80%A6lmft-associate/%20%E2%80%8E "Lesley Mendonça") M.A., LMFT-Associate, LPC-Intern Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, LMFT-S, LPC-S ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6838-e1631304820220.jpg) Lesley Anne Mendonça Lesley is a Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy. She practices individual, marital and family counseling, and has a background in ministry with adolescents. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) Mental Health Play Therapy Relationships Parenting Family Therapy [ ![social network icon](data:image/svg+xml;base64,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) ](https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesleymendonca/) **Categories:** Emotional Intelligence, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Awareness, Self-Esteem **Tags:** acceptance, Awareness, compassion, mindfulness --- ### [31 Days of Wellness to Wrap Up Your Year](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/bewell/) **Published:** December 2, 2025 **Author:** Gisselle Balderas **Content:** **Be well, give wellness**# Wrap up your year with 31 days of Wellness [Join Us](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/yearend/) Each day in December, our mental health team will share short, research-based wellness videos on **[Facebook](https://u17434882.ct.sendgrid.net/ls/click?upn=u001.AIguuMnlZx-2B2zy8uOScxVzOEo2h3GcZ3vwyYOhDaoRkFJFHhwYsDA-2FS9-2BgpAU8rifpF-2BT2NJM9aORkGl146EMQ-3D-3DkkKQ_Q0EgCg9VOXQ8aDUcvL27qbYP6o3vcKPhI7zKjU87GztOziFYCcTygYyGCMORKPC-2FQeJ8cWWZFeDf9eo76gwRLFERnqoAhUXZLov1Gq1Mhq49ZlMKIbiDhwRBLgVsc04-2F-2Br4JmfSZmw0X0JRPRe-2FtfZeWKJN-2FdTjPE3jHkqRy7sYzHdqhRqkKPiT5a0KFlD6XhF1cb7tZdEjoEpdWtSxxM6ID6lVCPgTi2nSboLK63QThelWLK0XoHQzcHhEpQQNz), [Instagram](https://u17434882.ct.sendgrid.net/ls/click?upn=u001.AIguuMnlZx-2B2zy8uOScxV8nDlCjYdYoJsACpnyr2jQW2QnCHxCjQjZ-2BgQa-2FFJWOVawIM-2BITYrXpsTC3tC66X3Q-3D-3DUbUW_Q0EgCg9VOXQ8aDUcvL27qbYP6o3vcKPhI7zKjU87GztOziFYCcTygYyGCMORKPC-2FeZYR1ULcKXe3eOPeS2kkv-2Fo3DNJHt5HO7VT528Pv7QPPnYL9F-2FUAi1reJMiHfq1bl-2FPLQMGixR9SD7LoPUvwy2aXIIsV-2BCJCLTBZ8yO43lpO6Jz2Ipn94NJVao0CcYa5d-2BczW8L71F-2FdoYK-2FhrBBU6eEHCHaSxug4sAsnCDgepQTZEVaW7HRDYh-2BVXaRyO-2Ft), [LinkedIn](https://u17434882.ct.sendgrid.net/ls/click?upn=u001.AIguuMnlZx-2B2zy8uOScxV-2BjEoXiM76u7D5N2fCLgCArIYSsx9UsuWonb0glClgB5ccAVeCW9WCK7PCpfmdIpAiVxgkOZHDQ2aTT9tarTfBE-3DNtyl_Q0EgCg9VOXQ8aDUcvL27qbYP6o3vcKPhI7zKjU87GztOziFYCcTygYyGCMORKPC-2FsIggLUQsk5e-2F9mnaeXV85YfuuPfmMOLoZJ05ijzNJj-2FRKbvuDo8vT-2BA5nZ8yagUkN-2FJpiRCK2zJtptWQ3oLTskajSBGPererHnd7x5YxzsV2LkXK1cBD6v-2FCJ-2BDDucoNTNXfiPEC4d24Tqo0LncYLwpHDwY5fCeRGhXEWd18PhxYpSRiRZaq8xotKj87wrlX),** and our **[Be Well YouTube playlist](https://u17434882.ct.sendgrid.net/ls/click?upn=u001.AIguuMnlZx-2B2zy8uOScxV8q8nVFCG5G9rE05iCXeKAj15LTA5wus7PyRPcrE-2B5y1X1I89vxtBB6rjSuYocTv15qgpmfjVbg4iCITFJFzD2dzdk-2F-2FRehprk5wCQFzC-2Ffy7-2FKsAy9mdf8X1t-2BEUAIO9A-3D-3DitXC_Q0EgCg9VOXQ8aDUcvL27qbYP6o3vcKPhI7zKjU87GztOziFYCcTygYyGCMORKPC-2FyFAHUFIc9c-2FfN2xUhWSqP9mM-2B0bkdctt9-2B2xWv0W4vpexttD5QQxrO4oKbKFcq0CYZzTd6Ci5aBjG7-2FQqKRGVfHHm7DVlJ3SIVbsWowKfjZPgCzPcaf7uw5PiwK9k88QenSBk8uEtRaEbSg6t25urarZloVOElVdBaYZKa-2Bb96nmBbQ0bxy4HFthyE4cXnxs)**—simple practices we do ourselves to nurture connection, calm and wellness, **as part of our 2025 year-end Season of Wellness Campaign**. We’d love for you to follow along, share them with others, and take time to practice wellness yourself. Our hope is that these daily moments become a gentle reminder to slow down, breathe, rest, laugh, and connect with yourself and others in meaningful ways. [Make a Year End Gift and Give Wellness this Year](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/yearend/) Play Be Well, Laugh ## Be Well, Laugh Did you know that laughter lowers stress hormones and boosts endorphins, your body’s natural feel-good chemicals? A [cross-cultural study](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2719285/) published in Alternative Therapies in Health and Medicine found that laughter therapy improves both physical and mental well-being. Laughter reduces cortisol, lowers blood pressure, strengthens immune function, and even improves pain tolerance. Their findings suggest that laughter is not only a response to joy but a creator of it, helping the body and mind recover from stress. Even a small laugh can make a difference. Be well, laugh. This Be Well practice was shared by Fuller Life therapist [**Jessica Coufal**,](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/jessica-coufal/ "Jessica") as part of our [**Year-End Campaign: Be Well, Give Wellness**, ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/yearend/)expanding access to therapy across Houston. Hasan, H., & Hasan, T. F. (2009). *[Laugh yourself into a healthier person: A cross-cultural analysis of the effects of laughter on health](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2719285/). Alternative Therapies in Health and Medicine, 15*(5), 56–64.n ## Be Well, Dance Did you know that just one dance session can lift your mood and lower stress hormones? [Research published in Frontiers in Psychology (2025)](https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbmRMaDE2UUF5Wkd2OThUNFcyLWhjRklsVFJMQXxBQ3Jtc0trZVQzdVZPQ0JVQ3dmckcta2JleGNKWHhucHM2aTlXcEZqQXhoc2RodEJpTkc0am83bnFkblVybF9yejNuREJzNElLUzhveEd5N21fRnF5Mm1tM2RNMERyMTF1RUVtQWwtQ0JmcW1wNlZOTEJDR2lyQQ&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.frontiersin.org%2Farticles%2F10.3389%2Ffpsyg.2025.1733911&v=R4aZmHWeXg4) found that movement, especially with others, increases endorphins and strengthens feelings of connection. Even a brief dance can create a lasting sense of calm. Be well, dance. This “Be Well” practice was inspired by a video shared by Fuller Life therapist [Shayla Johnson ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/ "Shayla Johnson, Resident Therapist") on her personal social media, which inspired our entire Be Well series! Thanks Shayla! Zhang, Y., & Ma, H. (2025). *[The impact of dance on the mental health of older adults: A network meta-analysis of anxiety, depression, and well-being]().* *Frontiers in Psychology, 15*, 1733911. Play Be Well, Dance Play Be Well Self Soothe ## Be Well, Self Soothe Did you know that peppermint can wake up your mind and sharpen your focus? Research shows that even brief exposure to peppermint aroma boosts alertness, improves memory, and increases energy. In a 2008 study published in the International Journal of Neuroscience, participants who inhaled peppermint reported higher motivation, less fatigue, and better performance on attention tasks, all without caffeine or stimulants. Peppermint is a scent we often associate with this season, making it an easy and familiar way to refresh your thoughts and refocus your energy. Be well, self-soothe. This Be Well practice was shared by [Dr. Amy Fuller](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/), Founder and Clinical Director of Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, as part of our [Year-End Campaign: Be Well, Give Wellness, ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/yearend/)supporting accessible mental health care in Houston. All month long, we’re sharing daily Be Well videos with simple, research-backed practices. Moss, M., Hewitt, S., Moss, L., & Wesnes, K. (2008). [Modulation of cognitive performance and mood by aromas of peppermint and ylang-ylang.](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18041606/) International Journal of Neuroscience, 118(1), 59–77. ## Be Well, Unplug **Did you know that taking short breaks from screens can lower stress and improve mood?** A 2016 study published in *Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking* found that people who took a one-week break from Facebook reported higher life satisfaction and lower stress compared to those who stayed online. Even brief pauses give our attention, emotions, and nervous systems a chance to reset. This season, take a moment to unplug — open a book, watch the light change, or listen to the quiet. **Be well, unplug.** This Be Well practice was shared by Fuller Life therapist [**Erin Viramontes**.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/erin/ "Erin Viramontes") Please excuse the irony of offering an “unplug” prompt on the very screen we’re using to encourage you to “Be Well” this month as part of our [Year-End Campaign](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/yearend/). We hope you’ll follow along, unplug when you can, and share with anyone who might find these wellness shorts helpful. Tromholt, M. (2016).[ *The Facebook experiment: Quitting Facebook leads to higher well-being and lower stress.* ](https://doi.org/10.1089/cyber.2016.0259)*Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 19*(11), 661–666. Play Be Well, Unplug Play Be Well, Go Slow ## Be Well, Go Slow Did you know that going slow on purpose can help your mind handle stress more effectively? Research shows that when we practice paying attention differently—shifting from autopilot into present-moment awareness—we cope with daily stress in healthier, more grounded ways. Most of us rush without noticing it. Tiny pauses can shift everything. This holiday season, try small moments of intentional slowness: choose the slow lane, pick the longer line, or pause for a breath before moving on. These little choices help bring your mind back to the present moment, making stress feel more manageable. Be well. Go slow. — Video and tip by [Dr. Amy Fuller](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/DSC03236-e1607729609972.jpg "Amy Fuller PhD"), Founder and Clinical Director Donald, J. N., Atkins, P. W. B., Parker, P. D., Christie, A. M., & Ryan, R. M. (2016). [Daily stress and the benefits of mindfulness: Examining the role of mindful attention in stress reactivity. ](https://selfdeterminationtheory.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/2016_Donald_etal_J_Res_Personality.pdf)Journal of Research in Personality, 65, 30–37. [](https://www.youtube.com/@fullerlifefamilytherapy) ## Be Well, Let Nature Nurture You Did you know that simply touching plants can calm your nervous system and lift your mood? Studies have shown that physical contact with leaves and soil — such as during light gardening or caring for houseplants — can lower blood pressure, slow heart rate, and activate brain regions linked to relaxation and emotional stability. In one experiment published in the Journal of Physiological Anthropology, participants who touched living plants showed a drop in sympathetic nervous activity — the body’s “stress mode.” Even brief, mindful contact with greenery created measurable peace in both mind and body. Be well, let nature nurture you. \[Video by [Jessica Coufal](http://Jessica), Fuller Life Therapist\] Park, S.-A., Song, C., & Son, K.-C. (2016). [Effects of contact with plants on human psychophysiological responses. ](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1186/1880-6805-32-7)Journal of Physiological Anthropology, 35(1), 8. Play Be Well, Let Nature Nurture You Play Be Well, Play ## Be Well, Play **Did you know that play activates brain systems linked to joy, connection, and emotional resilience?** Research with adults shows that playfulness is associated with higher life satisfaction, better mood, and a stronger ability to cope with stress. Even small, lighthearted moments — tossing a ball, being silly, moving your body for fun — can help your mind reset and soften tension. As [Nicole Thompson](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/nicole-thompson/ "Nicole Thompson") shares a simple moment of play in her yard, may it remind you that play reconnects us with lightness, presence, and the parts of us that make stress feel a little less heavy. Be well. Play. Research: Proyer, R. T. (2011). [The well-being of playful adults: Adult playfulness, subjective well-being, physical well-being, and the pursuit of enjoyable activities.](https://europeanjournalofhumour.org/ejhr/article/view/Rene%20Proyer/Rene%20Proyer) European Journal of Humour Research, 1(1), 1–15. ## Be Well, Connect **Did you know that holding hands with someone you care about can actually reduce pain and stress?** A study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences found that gentle hand-holding can synchronize breathing and heart rhythms — a physiological sign of comfort and empathy. Touch connects us, regulates us, and reminds us we’re not alone. Reach out. Connect Be well. Hold hands. We’re excited to connect with our followers and supporters. Through Be Well Give Wellness, we’re sharing daily practices to care for your mind and spirit while also raising funds to ensure more Houston families can receive therapy — especially those in underserved communities. If this mission resonates with you, we’d welcome your partnership. Learn more: [https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/y…](https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqblYyRUt2UGgzQXJFUGJYazNlNVdXck9nc2VqZ3xBQ3Jtc0tseWxYYi1vc19UR051ZFVtQ3VMcUJzMnZKUWtxWW1lbE5lRW9LWDViaTNmMXZxd0JzaGR2LVBBT2tWc24xUVAzcTNmT1VRY3FISG5SbUJIMVI4dzNsUHdmMVBjdHFfN2tIUkdEZ1lFSHhtV0VsQk9xWQ&q=https%3A%2F%2Ffullerlifefamilytherapy.org%2Fyearend%2F&v=jHMvfrCRCrE) — Video by [Dr. Amy Fuller](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/ "Dr. Amy Fuller, Clinical Director"), Founder & Clinical Director Goldstein, P., Weissman-Fogel, I., Dumas, G., & Shamay-Tsoory, S. G. (2018). [Brain-to-brain coupling during handholding is associated with pain reduction.](https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1703643115) Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 115(11), E2528–E2537. Play Be Well, Connect Play Be Well, Practice Gratitude ## Be Well, Be Grateful **Did you know that expressing gratitude in writing can boost your mood and increase overall well-being?** A widely cited study in the *Journal of Personality and Social Psychology* found that people who wrote about things they were grateful for experienced higher positive emotion, greater optimism, and improved overall well-being. Even a few written words made a meaningful difference in emotional health. As Dr. Amy Fuller shares this moment of writing thank-you notes from our recent mental health benefit, may it remind you that gratitude doesn’t have to be big or elaborate. A simple note of thanks can shift your perspective and brighten your day. **Be well. Be grateful.** Dr. Fuller shares this glimpse of writing thank-you notes after our recent mental health benefit. Our supporters mean the world to us. If you feel drawn to our mission of expanding access to therapy in Houston, we’d love to invite you to join our community of care. Learn more: **Research:** Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). *Counting blessings versus burdens: An experi*[https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/images/application\_uploads/Emmons-GratitudePDF.pdf](https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/images/application_uploads/Emmons-GratitudePDF.pdf)*mental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life.* Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377–389. ## Be Well, Connect **Did you know that hugging someone you love can help your body calm down?** A study from the University of North Carolina found that couples who shared warm physical contact — including a simple hug — showed *lower heart rates and reduced blood pressure* when faced with something stressful. As Nicole Thompson shares a quiet moment of connection, may it remind you that a simple hug can bring real physiological ease. **Be well. Connect.** Grewen, K. M., Anderson, B. J., Girdler, S. S., & Light, K. C. (2005). [Warm partner contact is related to lower cardiovascular reactivity](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15206831/?utm_source=chatgpt.com). *Biological Psychology, 69*(1), 5–21. Play Be Well, Connect Play Be Well, Rest ## Be Well, Rest ****Did you know that when you rest and do nothing, your brain becomes more active in important ways?**** Research shows that rest allows the brain to integrate, process, and restore. This holiday season, let yourself rest—without needing to be productive. **Be well. Rest.** This Be Well practice was shared by Fuller Life therapist **Sika Apoloo**, as part of our Year-End Campaign: *Be Well, Give Wellness*, supporting accessible mental health care across Houston. Follow along and explore the series here: **Research:** Luo W, Liu B, Tang Y, Huang J, Wu J. *[Rest to Promote Learning: A Brain Default Mode Network Perspective](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11047624/?utm_source=chatgpt.com)*. Behavioral Sciences. 2024;14(4):349. ## Be Well, Move Rhythmically **Did you know that moving your body to rhythm can support your emotional well-being?** A 2023 systematic review and meta-analysis found that **rhythmic physical activity**—such as dance, music-based movement, or coordinated rhythmic exercise—can **reduce depression, lower anxiety, and improve quality of life** in older adults, whether or not they have mild cognitive impairment Rhythmic movement engages both the body and the brain, helping regulate mood, awaken energy, and spark moments of joy. Contributed by student volunteer and marketing consultant Sania Jamal. Follow along and explore the series here: **Research:** Sánchez-Alcalá, M., Aibar-Almazán, A., Afanador-Restrepo, D. F., Carcelén-Fraile, M. C., Achalandabaso-Ochoa, A., Castellote-Caballero, Y., & Hita-Contreras, F. (2023). *[The impact of rhythmic physical activity on mental health and quality of life in older adults with and without cognitive impairment: A systematic review and meta-analysis.](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10672098/)* Play Be Well, Move Rhythmically Play Be Well, Go Outside ****Be Well, Go Outside**** ****Did you know that when you rest and do nothing, your brain becomes more active in important ways?**** A large study published in *[Scientific Reports](https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-019-44097-3)* found that people who spent at least two hours a week outdoors—often through simple activities like walking—reported higher levels of well-being and overall health. Those minutes didn’t have to happen all at once. Short, regular walks counted. **Be well. Go Outside.** This Be Well practice was contributed by **Margarita** **Castaneda**, who incorporates daily walking as part of her own wellness routine. **Research:** White, M. P., Alcock, I., Grellier, J., Wheeler, B. W., Hartig, T., Warber, S. L., Bone, A., Depledge, M. H., & Fleming, L. E. (2019). *[Spending at least 120 minutes a week in nature is associated with good health and wellbeing.](https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-019-44097-3)* Scientific Reports, 9, 7730. ## Be Well, Explore **Did you know that** **exploring new places—even small, everyday ones—is linked to greater well-being?** Neuroscience research from NYU found that people who experience more variety in their daily environments report higher positive emotions. Brain imaging showed stronger connectivity in regions involved in reward and learning, suggesting that exploration supports emotional vitality and engagement with life. **Be well. Explore.** This Be Well practice was contributed by **Sania**, a therapist at **Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute**, who shares how taking her children to explore new places—parks, neighborhoods, and everyday adventures—supports curiosity, connection, and emotional well-being. **Text WELLNESS to 53-555 to donate.** Heller, A. S., Shi, T. C., Ezie, C. E., Renéau, T. R., & Hartley, C. A. (2020). *[Association between real-world experiential diversity and positive affect relates to hippocampal–striatal functional connectivity.](https://doi.org/10.1038/s41593-020-0636-4)* **Nature Neuroscience.** Play Be Well, Explore Play Be Well, Reflect ## Be Well, Reflect **Did you know that simply writing about what’s on your heart can impact your health in meaningful ways?** Research shows that expressive writing—taking 15–20 minutes on several occasions to write about stressful or emotional experiences—is linked with **improved mood and psychological well-being, better immune function, and fewer stress-related visits to the doctor** (Baikie & Wilhelm, 2005). Journaling doesn’t have to be perfect or polished. Just a few honest minutes on the page can help you pause, notice what’s present, and reconnect with yourself. **Be well. Reflect.** This Be Well practice was shared by Fuller Life therapist **Sika Apoloo**, as part of our Year-End Campaign: *Be Well, Give Wellness*, supporting accessible mental health care across Houston. Follow along and explore the series here: **Research:** Baikie, K. A., & Wilhelm, K. (2005). *[Emotional and physical health benefits of expressive writing](https://sparq.stanford.edu/sites/g/files/sbiybj19021/files/media/file/baikie_wilhelm_2005_-_emotional_and_physical_health_benefits_of_expressive_writing.pdf)*. **Advances in Psychiatric Treatment, 11**(5), 338–346. ## Be Well, Be Kind **Did you know that** **practicing kindness supports emotional regulation over time?** Research published in *Psychological Science* found that **repeated positive social interactions**—moments of warmth, care, and connection—are linked to stronger emotional regulation and resilience. Over time, these interactions were associated with improvements in physiological regulation (measured through vagal tone), suggesting an ongoing, reinforcing relationship between kindness, emotional well-being, and the body’s ability to recover from stress. In other words, kindness isn’t just meaningful in the moment. When practiced regularly, it contributes to an **upward spiral of emotional resilience and connection**. **Be well. Be kind.** This Be Well practice invites us to notice how small, everyday acts of kindness—toward others and ourselves—can quietly support mental and emotional health over time. This Be Well practice was shared by Fuller Life therapist **Sika Apoloo** as part of our Year-End Campaign: *Be Well, Give Wellness*, supporting accessible mental health care across Houston. **Text WELLNESS to 53-555 to donate.** Kok, B. E., Coffey, K. A., Cohn, M. A., et al. (2013). *[How positive emotions build physical health: Perceived positive social connections account for the upward spiral between positive emotions and vagal tone](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23478387/).* **Psychological Science** ## Be Well, Stay Curious **Did you know that** **curiosity and ongoing learning are linked to better quality of life?** A 2025 study published in *Societies* found that older adults who stayed curious—by learning new things, exploring interests, and engaging with the world—reported higher quality of life and greater well-being. Curiosity supports mental flexibility, engagement, and a sense of meaning over time. **Be well, Stay Curious.** This Be Well practice was contributed by **Gisselle**, a therapist at **Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute**, who values curiosity as a way to remain open, engaged, and present. As we share simple, research-backed wellness practices, we’re also inviting our community to help make quality mental health care more accessible across Houston. **Text WELLNESS to 53-555 to donate or visit** Haapala, I., Ng, K., Kahlos, A., & Paakkari, L. (2025). *[Curiosity and learning are associated with quality of life in older adults](https://www.mdpi.com/2075-4698/15/8/224).* **Societies, 15**(8), 224. ## Be Well, Exhale **Did you know that something as simple as lengthening your exhale can shift your body out of stress?** When we breathe slowly and intentionally — especially focusing on a long, steady exhale — the body activates its parasympathetic “rest and restore” system. A 2017 study in Frontiers in Human Neuroscience found that slow, deep breathing reduced anxiety and heart rate by increasing vagal tone — the body’s built-in calm response. Even a few mindful breaths can regulate emotions, steady the heartbeat, and bring your attention back to the present moment. Try it now: Inhale for four. Exhale for six. Notice what softens. Be well, exhale. Join us in closing the year with care and connection: [Fuller Life Family Therapy Year-End Campaign](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/yearend/) **Research:** Zaccaro, A., Piarulli, A., Laurino, M., Garbella, E., Menicucci, D., Neri, B., Gemignani, A. (2018). [How breath-control can change your life: A systematic review on psychophysiological correlates of slow breathing](https://doi.org/10.3389/fnhum.2018.00353). **Frontiers in Human Neuroscience**, 12, 353. ## Be Well, Move **Did you know that simple movement, like walking or stretching, is linked to better mental health?** In a large study of over **one million adults**, people who engaged in physical activity reported **significantly fewer days of poor mental health** than those who did not. Moderate movement — including walking — showed strong benefits for mood and emotional well-being. **Be well. Move.** Movement supports mental health — even when it’s simple. This Be Well practice was contributed by **Widalis Rogue Rodriguez**, a therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, who shares a moment of movement and connection while walking with her son. As we share simple, research-backed wellness practices this season, we’re also inviting our community to help expand access to affordable mental health care across Houston. Text **WELLNESS** to **53-555** or learn more at **Reference:** Chekroud, S. R., et al. (2018). [Association between physical exercise and mental health in 1.2 million individuals in the United States](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30099000/?utm_source=chatgpt.com). **The Lancet Psychiatry***, 5*(9), 739–746 [](https://www.youtube.com/@fullerlifefamilytherapy) ## Be Well, Create **Did you know** **even small, hands-on creative moments can lift mood and strengthen resilience — creating what researchers called an “upward spiral of well-being.”** Research published in The Journal of Positive Psychology found that when people engaged in everyday creativity, they experienced higher energy, enthusiasm, and emotional flourishing the following day. **Be Well, Create.** Join us in closing the year with care and connection: [Fuller Life Family Therapy Year-End Campaign](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/yearend/) **Research:** Conner, T. S., DeYoung, C. G., & Silvia, P. J. (2018). [Everyday creative activity as a path to flourishing: Daily diary findings from New Zealand adults](https://doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2016.1257049). **The Journal of Positive Psychology**, 13(2), 181–189. ## Be Well, Not Perfect **Did you know that perfectionism is strongly associated with** **higher stress, greater anxiety, and increased psychological distress**? A major meta-analysis found that when we hold rigid standards for ourselves, it becomes harder to cope with everyday challenges and easier to fall into patterns of tension, self-criticism, and emotional overwhelm . Practicing gentle acceptance—even in small ways—helps soften this cycle. In this wellness moment, a picture frame is intentionally left a little crooked as a quiet reminder that calm doesn’t come from getting everything just right. It comes from allowing what is. May presence take the place of perfection as you move through this season. **Be well. Not perfect.** This Be Well practice was contributed by **Dr. Amy Fuller**, as part of our Year-End Campaign: *Be Well, Give Wellness*, supporting accessible mental health care across Houston. Follow along and explore the series here: **Reference:** Routledge in Stoeber, ed. (2017).[Perfectionism and health: The roles of health behaviors and stress-related processes](https://eprints.whiterose.ac.uk/id/eprint/112407/1/Routledge "Perfectionism and health: The roles of health behaviors and stress-related processes"). **The Psychology of Perfectionism: Theory, Research, Applications**. Routledge , London. [](https://www.youtube.com/@fullerlifefamilytherapy) ## Be Well, Pray **Did you know that** **quiet, reflective prayer supports emotional regulation?** Research across psychology, psychiatry, and neuroscience suggests that prayer and other contemplative practices are associated with lower levels of anxiety and depressive symptoms, reduced physiological stress responses, and greater emotional steadiness over time. These practices are linked to activation of the parasympathetic nervous system — the body’s “rest-and-recover” system — which helps slow heart rate, calm breathing, and support emotional balance. Prayer is also associated with increased feelings of meaning, hope, and connection, all of which are protective factors for mental health and resilience. Over time, these effects appear to support both emotional regulation and the body’s capacity to recover from stress. **Be Well, Pray.** This Be Well practice was contributed by Nicole, a therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, who shares how prayer supports grounding and emotional regulation in her daily life. As we share simple, research-backed wellness practices this season, we’re also inviting our community to help expand access to affordable mental health care across Houston. Text **WELLNESS** to **53-555** to donate. **Research:** Koenig, H. G. (2012). [Religion, spirituality, and health: The research and clinical implications](https://doi.org/10.5402/2012/278730). *ISRN Psychiatry*. ## Be Well, Notice Beauty **Did you know that** **even brief exposure to natural scenery can support emotional well-being?** Research on nature and “blue space” shows that viewing landscapes—whether walking, sitting, or driving through them—is associated with lower stress and improved mood. These visual moments of beauty invite the nervous system to settle and offer space for reflection, even in motion. **Be well. Notice beauty.** This Be Well practice was contributed by **Gisselle**, a therapist at **Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute**, who shares a moment of noticing beauty while driving through scenic surroundings. As we share simple, research-backed wellness practices this season, we’re also inviting our community to help expand access to affordable mental health care across Houston. **Text WELLNESS to 53-555 to donate.** **Reference:** White, M. P., Elliott, L. R., Gascon, M., Roberts, B., & Fleming, L. E. (2020). *[Blue space, health and well-being: A narrative overview and synthesis of potential benefits.](https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/nature-mental-health)* **Environmental Research, 191.** [](https://www.youtube.com/@fullerlifefamilytherapy) ## Be Well, Pet a Furry Friend **Did you know that gentle interaction with animals supports emotional regulation?** Research on human–animal interaction shows that petting an animal is associated with increased oxytocin and reduced stress hormones like cortisol. These physiological shifts support calm, connection, and nervous system regulation. This season, pause to pet a furry friend and let your body soften into the moment. **Be well. Pet.** As we share simple, research-backed wellness practices this season, we’re also inviting our community to help expand access to affordable mental health care across Houston. Text **WELLNESS** to **53-555** to donate. **Research:** Beetz, A., Uvnäs-Moberg, K., Julius, H., & Kotrschal, K. (2012). [Psychosocial and psychophysiological effects of human–animal interactions: The possible role of oxytocin](https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2012.00234/full). *Frontiers in Psychology, 3*, 234. ## Be Well, Visit a Forest **Did you know that spending time in a forest can create measurable shifts in your body’s stress response?** Research shows that walking among trees lowers cortisol, slows the pulse rate, reduces blood pressure, and increases parasympathetic activity—the part of the nervous system that helps you calm and restore. Even a short walk in nature can help your whole system soften and reset. **Be well. Visit a forest.** This Be Well practice was contributed by **Sania Jamil** as part of our Year-End Campaign: *[Be Well, Give Wellness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/yearend/)*, supporting accessible mental health care across Houston. **Text WELLNESS to 53-555 to donate.** **Reference:** Park, B. J., Tsunetsugu, Y., Kasetani, T., Kagawa, T., & Miyazaki, Y. (2008). *[Physiological effects of Shinrin-Yoku (taking in the forest atmosphere or forest bathing): Evidence from field experiments in 24 forests across Japan.](https://www.jstage.jst.go.jp/article/jpa2/26/2/26_2_135/_article)* **Journal of Physiological Anthropology,** 26(2), 135–142. [](https://www.youtube.com/@fullerlifefamilytherapy) ## Be Well, Self Soothe **Did you know that the scent of lavender can calm your nervous system within minutes?** n a 2019 study published in Physiology & Behavior, researchers found that inhaling lavender essential oil significantly reduced anxiety and lowered blood pressure by activating the body’s parasympathetic “rest and restore” response. Lavender’s natural compounds, like linalool, interact with brain receptors that regulate mood and calm overstimulation—helping you feel both grounded and relaxed. A single deep breath can signal your body that you’re safe. **Be well, Self-soothe.** Join us in closing the year with care and connection: [Fuller Life Family Therapy Year-End Campaign](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/yearend/) **Research:** Koulivand, P. H., Khaleghi Ghadiri, M., & Gorji, A. (2019). [Lavender and the nervous system](https://doi.org/10.1016/j.physbeh.2019.112676). **Physiology & Behavior**, 211, 112676. ## Be Well, Enjoy a Warm Fire **Did you know warmth, steady light, and gentle sensory input matter more than we often realize.** Research published in *Psychoneuroendocrinology* highlights how calming sensory experiences are associated with **reduced cortisol** and support the body’s natural stress-recovery systems. These physiological shifts help the nervous system move out of urgency and back toward balance. Taking a few moments to sit by a fire — watching the flames, feeling the warmth, letting your body slow — can be a simple way to support emotional regulation during a busy season. **Be Well. Enjoy a Warm Fire.** As we share research-backed wellness practices this season, we’re also working to expand access to affordable mental health care across Houston. Learn more or support the HEART Equity Fund: or text **WELLNESS** to **53-555** **Reference:** Beetz, A., Uvnäs-Moberg, K., Julius, H., & Kotrschal, K. (2012). [Psychosocial and psychophysiological effects of human–animal interactions](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25387270/). *Psychoneuroendocrinology, 37*(11), 183–194. [](https://www.youtube.com/@fullerlifefamilytherapy) ## Be Well, Treat Yourself **Did you know a massage is so much more than relaxation?** Research shows massage therapy is associated with about a **30% reduction in cortisol**, the body’s primary stress hormone. Studies also show **dopamine and serotonin increase by roughly 28–31%**, supporting mood, motivation, and emotional regulation. Massage has additionally been shown to activate the **parasympathetic nervous system**, helping the body shift into rest, repair, and recovery. **Be Well. Treat Yourself to a Massage.** This Be Well practice was shared by **Nicole Thompson**, therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute. As part of our year-end campaign, we’re sharing simple, research-backed wellness practices while expanding access to therapy across Houston. To support wellness and access to care, text **WELLNESS to 53-555** to donate. **Research:** Field, T. (2014). [*Massage therapy research review*.](https://cyberlearn.hes-so.ch/pluginfile.php/1744124/mod_folder/content/0/Field_2014_rewiewmassage.pdf) **Complementary Therapies in Clinical Practice**, 20(4), 224–229. ## Be Well and Savor **Did you know that taking time to savor the small moments — like a slow cup of coffee or a few quiet minutes in the morning — can increase happiness and reduce stress?** According to researchers Smith and Bryant (2017), savoring is the mindful awareness of positive experiences — noticing the taste, texture, and warmth of something you enjoy, and allowing yourself to feel gratitude in the moment. Their review of the science of savoring found that this simple act enhances emotional balance, strengthens relationships, and builds resilience against daily stress. So this season, don’t rush through what’s good. Pause. Taste. Notice. **Be well, Savor.** Join us in closing the year with care and connection: [Fuller Life Family Therapy Year-End Campaign](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/yearend/) **Reference:** Smith, J. L., & Bryant, F. B. (2017). [Savoring and well-being: Mapping the terrain of the science of positive experience.](https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/Savoring-and-Well-Being%3A-Mapping-the-Terrain-of-the-Smith-Bryant/5ea31c30b036f61050c80eac42f890ff6c3cc1e2) Handbook of Positive Psychology, Assessment, and Intervention (pp. 165–182). Springer Publishing Company. [](https://www.youtube.com/@fullerlifefamilytherapy) ## Be Well, Gather **Did you know that strong social connection supports long-term health and well-being?** A large meta-analysis of social connection and health found that strong social relationships are associated with lower stress and better long-term health outcomes. Positive, meaningful connection helps the nervous system regulate and reminds us we’re not meant to do life alone. This Be Well practice comes from a moment of shared joy at the Fuller Life Christmas party — celebrating connection, community, and care. As we share simple practices that support well-being, we’re also working to expand access to affordable mental health care across Houston. Learn more or support the HEART Equity Fund:[ https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/yearend/](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/yearend/) or text **WELLNESS** to **53-555** **Research:** Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. B. (2010). [Social relationships and mortality risk: A meta-analytic review.](https://journals.plos.org/plosmedicine/article?id=10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316) *PLoS Medicine, 7*(7), e1000316. Play Be Well Give Wellness ## Stay Tuned… We will be sharing a new research backed wellness tip every day in December! Even a small laugh can make a difference. Be well, laugh. ###### Resident Therapist ## Gisselle Balderas ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Gisselle-Balderas-Round-Team-Headshots.png) [Gisselle Balderas](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/nicole-thompson/ "Nicole Thompson") ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/c4ae838e332bd88239b767e90c0f7a7d4ec807427ad3bd870cc38d9e3b91dbf8?s=300&r=g) Gisselle Balderas [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/gissellebalderas/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/gissellebalderas/) **Categories:** Mental Health, Self-Awareness, Self-Care Practices, The Human Brain --- ### [The Best Way To Save Your Relationship](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/personal-growth-for-interpersonal-relationships/) **Published:** February 7, 2017 **Author:** Taylor Knox **Content:** Most people believe that the best way to save their relationship is by communicating better or changing their partner. While these are nice when they happen, the problem is they hinge on both people working together. Alternatively, one way to positively impact your relationship is to focus on growing yourself so you can learn to be a better partner. In an attempt to simplify this seemingly overwhelming task, consider these four concepts [Dr. David Schnarsh](http://crucibletherapy.com/approach-marital-sexual-therapy) calls the four points of balance leading to more successful interpersonal relationships. ## [**Solid-flexible self**:](http://crucibletherapy.com/simplebrains/fourpoints/thoughtData/21.html) *a person’s ability to be clear about what they value, and who they are, while in close proximity to others who are important to them.* Having a solid flexible self means not having to put a physical or emotional distance between yourself and someone else because they have different beliefs than you do. A person with a solid-flexible sense of self can be influenced by others but does not compromise their own sense of self. They have a clear picture of themselves and are willing to share this with others in a way that allows others to know them more deeply. This person can entertain the thoughts and values of others without losing their own identity. ## [**Quiet mind-calm heart**:](http://crucibletherapy.com/simplebrains/fourpoints/thoughtData/20.html) *a person’s ability to self-sooth.* Having a quiet mind and calm heart encompasses regulating your own emotions, feelings, and anxieties instead of allowing yourself to be comforted or controlled by others. A quiet mind and calm heart are key for the struggle for individual autonomy. If a person is not able to self-sooth, they are not capable of functioning alone. In time, they become dependent on their partner leading to a reactive desire for autonomy and ultimately less intimacy. As one learns to self-regulate and self-soothe one also learns how to be closer to those they care about. For more on how to do this, see what Dr. Amy Fuller has to say about using a [green light practice](http://amyfullerphd.com/green-light-practice/). ## [**Grounded Responding**:](http://crucibletherapy.com/simplebrains/fourpoints/thoughtData/19.html) *a person’s ability to stay calm and assertive when their partner gets anxious.* This means accepting your partner’s strengths and quirks without trying to change your partner to make yourself less anxious. Ultimately, this is tolerating a partner’s differences while staying close to them. When you respond instead of reacting you are addressing and not avoiding what is happening in the relationship with adult language and behavior. ## [**Meaningful Endurance:**](http://crucibletherapy.com/simplebrains/fourpoints/thoughtData/18.html) *a person’s ability to deal with discomfort knowing it may produce growth.* Meaningful endurance is about facing your issues and working towards resolution within relationships instead of avoiding challenges or giving up. When we have meaningful endurance, we keep trying even though we are not sure we will find success and even if it doesn’t feel good. This ability to tolerate pain for growth is key to attaining long-term goals. ### Putting it together All of these concepts are related and build on each other. As you master one skill and move on to the next, areas of weakness will emerge. Focus on the weak areas as a challenge to grow personally and observe the impact these practices have on the relationship. When put into practice, these four concepts of personal growth create the possibility of a more satisfying relationship without focusing on your partner’s flaws or other things outside of your control. For more information check the [Crucible Therapy website](http://crucibletherapy.com/about/david-schnarch) or pick up a copy of Dr. David Schnarch’s book *[Intimacy & Desire](https://www.amazon.com/Intimacy-Desire-Awaken-Passion-Relationship/dp/0825305675).* Learning to grow as a person is always challenging. Finding a good therapist to walk with you in this journey can be very helpful. If you are in the Houston area, [Fuller Life Family Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) has therapists dedicated to models of personal growth. Stay tuned, ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Taylor-Knox-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-e1486988512714.jpg) Taylor Knox [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/taylorknox/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/taylorknox/) Relationships Anxiety **Categories:** Boundaries, Cognitive Reframing, Relationships, Self-Awareness, Social Skills **Tags:** boundaries, mental health, relationships, self-awareness, social skills --- ### [How to Be Truly Present This Holiday Season](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/truly-present-this-holiday-season/) **Published:** December 22, 2024 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Excerpt:** There are some simple, though not easy, steps you can begin to help your brain start healing from depression. **Content:** The holiday season is a time of joy, giving, and gathering with loved ones. But too often, we get swept up in the rush—planning, shopping, decorating, and trying to make everything perfect. In the process, we sometimes lose sight of what truly matters: being fully and truly present with the people we love. This year, what if we approached the holiday season a little differently? Instead of focusing on the hustle and material gifts, we can focus on the moments that matter—on connection, presence, and making memories. Here are five simple ways to bring more presence into your holiday season and experience a deeper, more meaningful celebration. ![Mom and child baking cookies at home, enjoying quality family time in cozy interior.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/mom-and-child-baking-cookies-at-home-enjoying-quality-family-time-in-cozy-interior.-8035971-scaled.jpg) ## **1. Prioritize Connection Over Perfection** We often put pressure on ourselves to create the perfect holiday—perfect meals, perfect decorations, and perfect plans. But in striving for perfection, we can miss the opportunity to truly connect with our loved ones. Tip – Focus on people over how things lookLet go of the need for everything to be flawless and focus on being present in the moment. Whether it’s sitting down for a meal, watching a movie together, or simply chatting by the fire, these moments of connection are what make the holidays truly special. Bonus Idea – Start a new traditionStart a new tradition that’s centered around spending time together—like baking cookies as a family, going on a holiday walk, or sharing stories from past celebrations. ## ****2.** Put Away Distractions** In our always-connected world, it’s easy to let our phones, laptops, and social media take up our attention. But these distractions can pull us away from the people who are right in front of us. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/chistmas-phone.png) Tip – Put your phone on silentMake it a point to set aside your devices during holiday gatherings. Put your phone on silent, or better yet, leave it in another room. This simple act can free you to be fully engaged with your loved ones and create meaningful interactions. Bonus Idea – Go “tech-free”Try a family “tech-free” night during the holidays—turn off devices and spend time playing games, reading together, or sharing a meal without distractions. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/FatherSon-Laughing.jpg) ## ******3.**** Practice Active Listening** Being present isn’t just about physically being in the same room—it’s about truly engaging with the people around you. One of the best ways to do this is by practicing active listening. Tip – Listen more than you speakWhen someone is talking to you, focus fully on what they’re saying. Make eye contact, listen without interrupting, and show empathy through your responses. This kind of deep listening shows that you care and value their thoughts and feelings. Bonus Idea – Ask thoughtful open-ended questionsDuring holiday gatherings, ask open-ended questions that encourage conversation and storytelling. Instead of the usual “How have you been?”, try “What’s one thing you’ve been grateful for this year?” or “What’s your favorite holiday memory?” ## **4. Create Moments of Calm** The holidays can be hectic, but intentionally creating moments of calm can help you stay grounded and present. Whether it’s stepping outside for fresh air, sitting quietly with a cup of tea, or doing a short mindfulness exercise, taking time to slow down allows you to recharge and be more present when you rejoin the festivities. Tip – Do something calming togetherInvite your loved ones to join you in a calming activity—like taking a holiday walk, meditating together, or even practicing gratitude by sharing things you’re thankful for from the past year. Bonus Idea – Track yourselfSet aside a few minutes each day to check in with yourself. How are you feeling? What do you need in this moment? By prioritizing your own well-being, you’ll be better able to show up for others. ### …*intentionally creating moments of calm can help you stay grounded and present.* ## **5. **Give the Gift of Presence**** Instead of focusing on material gifts this year, consider giving the gift of your time and attention. Whether it’s helping someone decorate their home, cooking a meal together, or simply spending quality time with a friend, these are the moments that create lasting memories and foster deeper relationships. ![gift of presence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/qtq80-aYUNUV.jpeg) Tip – Give coupons for time togetherWrite out “presence vouchers” as holiday gifts—little cards that offer your time or help. For example, you could give someone a “coupon” for an afternoon spent together, a home-cooked meal, or a fun outing of their choice. Bonus Idea – Consider your wider communityTake it a step further by giving the gift of presence to your wider community. Volunteer at a local charity, visit someone who might be lonely during the holidays, or donate to an organization that helps those in need. ## [Our Present of Presence Campaign](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/presence/ "THE PRESENT OF PRESENCE") At Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, we believe that the most valuable gift we can offer—whether in our personal relationships or in therapy—is our presence. This holiday season, we invite you to help us bring that gift to more people in Houston by supporting our *“Present of Presence”* campaign. Our goal is to raise $20,000 to provide therapy to individuals who may not otherwise have access to it. Through the power of therapeutic presence, we can offer healing and support to those in need. Your donation, no matter the size, will help us provide this life-changing gift to more Houstonians. Join us in making this holiday season one of connection, compassion, and presence. [**Donate now** ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/presence/ "THE PRESENT OF PRESENCE")to help us reach our goal and make therapy accessible for all. Together, we can create a different kind of holiday—one that’s filled with presence, healing, and hope. The Present of Presence resource video## Ditch your to-do list for this “to-be” list ###### Clinical Director ## [Dr. Amy Fuller](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/ "Dr. Amy Fuller, Clinical Director") [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/FL-Headshout-Round-Amy.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/)Dr. Amy Fuller, LMFT-S, LPC-S, CST-S ## More articles by our professional therapists about presence: - [ ![Mindfulness Rain](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Picture1-768x620.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindfully-weathering-the-storm-with-r-a-i-n/) [Anxiety Issues](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/anxiety-issues/) | [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) | [Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) | [Stress Management](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/stress-management/) ## [Mindfully Weathering the Storm with R.A.I.N. ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindfully-weathering-the-storm-with-r-a-i-n/) [ Read More Mindfully Weathering the Storm with R.A.I.N. Continue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindfully-weathering-the-storm-with-r-a-i-n/) - [ ![Self-Care in the Time of Crisis](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/canstockphoto24429978-scaled-768x512.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-time-crisis/) [Anxiety & Panic](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/anxiety/) | [Anxiety Issues](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/anxiety-issues/) | [Covid-19](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/covid-19/) | [Depression](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/depression/) | [Gratitude](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/gratitude/) | [Lifestyle](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/lifestyle/) | [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) | [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) | [Stress Management](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/stress-management/) ## [Self-Care in the Time of Crisis](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-time-crisis/) [ Read More Self-Care in the Time of CrisisContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-time-crisis/) - [ ![A Growth Mindset Can Prevent Burn Out!](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/canstockphoto14339328-1-scaled-768x512.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout-2/) [Cognitive Reframing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/cognitive-reframing-3/) | [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Emotional Intelligence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/emotional-intelligence/) | [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) | [Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/) ## [A Growth Mindset Can Prevent Burn Out!](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout-2/) [ Read More A Growth Mindset Can Prevent Burn Out!Continue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout-2/) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/6d17399acfd9b615dcc0b9c59c57e5ae8935bb0c93952030fbf48b72220e0445?s=300&r=g) Amy Fuller PhD Clinical Director Dr. Amy Fuller is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and professional counselor with over two decades of experience specializing in sex therapy, couples therapy, and trauma. She earned her master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Abilene Christian University and her PhD from St. Mary’s University. Dr. Fuller is the founder and Clinical Director of Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, a nonprofit in Houston committed to providing affordable mental health care and advanced therapist training. She is an AASECT-certified sex therapist and supervisor, known for her compassionate and evidence-based approach. Dr. Fuller serves as the Specialization Director for Sex Therapy and Trauma in the Doctor of Professional Counseling program at Kairos University, where she mentors emerging clinicians. With a passion for making therapy accessible and equipping therapists for meaningful, lasting work, Dr. Fuller integrates clinical excellence, spirituality, and cultural responsiveness into every aspect of her practice. [See Full Bio](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) [ ](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) Couples Therapy Healing Trauma Sex Therapy Mental Health Family Therapy EMDR Relationships Mindfulness [ ![social network 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](https://www.linkedin.com/in/amyfullerphd/) **Categories:** Gratitude, Lifestyle, Self-Care Practices --- ### [Gratitude 101: The Brain-Boosting Power of Being Thankful](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gratitude-101-the-brain-boosting-power-of-being-thankful/) **Published:** November 17, 2024 **Author:** Shayla Johnson **Excerpt:** Gratitude isn’t just about feeling good—it’s backed by science! Studies show that practicing gratitude has powerful effects on our brain and body. **Content:** Gratitude isn’t just about feeling good—it’s backed by science! Studies show that practicing gratitude has powerful effects on our brain and body. Neuroscientists have discovered that when we express gratitude, our brain releases **dopamine** and **serotonin**, which are natural mood boosters. These chemicals help us feel happier and more positive. Over time, gratitude can rewire our brain, teaching us to focus on the bright side—even during tough times. ## Why Practicing Gratitude Matters Let’s look at some of the incredible benefits gratitude brings to your life: #### 1. **Boosts Mental Health** Feeling stressed or anxious? Gratitude can help! Research from the University of California, Berkeley, shows that gratitude reduces symptoms of depression and anxiety. Focusing on what you’re thankful for shifts your attention away from negative thoughts and creates a sense of calm and well-being. --- #### 2. **Improves Physical Health** Grateful people tend to be healthier! Studies show that practicing gratitude helps reduce aches and pains, improve sleep quality, and even boost overall health. Writing down what you’re thankful for in a gratitude journal is a simple way to support your body. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/istockphoto-1450422183-612x612-1.jpg) practice gratitude #### ******3. Strengthens Relationships****** Saying “thank you” isn’t just polite—it’s powerful. Showing appreciation for others strengthens bonds, reduces resentment, and builds deeper connections. Gratitude fosters empathy and makes relationships more meaningful. --- #### **4. Builds Resilience** Gratitude helps you bounce back from hard times. A study from Indiana University found that people who practice gratitude are more resilient when facing stress or challenges. It’s like having an emotional safety net to lean on. ## **What Are “Glimmer Moments”?** Ever notice a fleeting moment of happiness that feels almost magical? These are **glimmer moments**—tiny, positive experiences that make life brighter. They might be as simple as the scent of fresh flowers or the sound of rain tapping on your window. When you focus on these moments, you train your brain to find joy in the everyday. Over time, noticing glimmer moments can make you more mindful and boost your overall sense of well-being. ## **Easy Ways to Practice Gratitude** Adding gratitude to your daily life doesn’t have to be complicated. Start with these simple, meaningful habits—and embrace **glimmer moments** along the way! #### 1. **Keep a Gratitude Journal** Each day, write down three things you’re grateful for. Don’t limit yourself to big achievements—focus on small joys, too. Maybe it’s the sound of birds in the morning, a stranger holding the door for you, or the warmth of your favorite blanket. These **glimmer moments** often go unnoticed, but they’re a powerful part of gratitude. [![grateful](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/4-1024x576.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/4.png)\#image\_title#### 2. **Look for Glimmer Moments** Train your brain to spot **glimmer moments** throughout the day. These are small, joyful experiences that make life sweeter, like a smile from a friend, the first sip of coffee, or the feeling of sunshine on your face. Pause and savor these fleeting moments—they’re a simple but effective way to practice gratitude in real time. #### 3. **Express Appreciation** Take time to thank someone who made your day better. A kind text, a heartfelt note, or a simple “thank you” can brighten someone else’s day—and deepen your own sense of gratitude. Pay attention to the **glimmer moments** in your interactions, like a friend’s kind words or a warm hug, and acknowledge them out loud. #### 4. **Reflect Mindfully** Spend a few minutes each day reflecting on what brings you joy. Close your eyes and think about the small comforts in your life—your cozy home, the taste of a good meal, or the laughter of a loved one. By focusing on these **glimmer moments**, you can ground yourself in the present and feel more connected to the good around you. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/istockphoto-1450422183-612x612-1.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/istockphoto-1450422183-612x612-1.jpg) ## **Why Start Practicing Gratitude Today?** Gratitude, especially when paired with glimmer moments, is a simple yet powerful way to feel happier, healthier, and more connected. These small practices can improve your mood, build emotional resilience, and help you navigate life’s ups and downs with greater ease. Start noticing your glimmer moments today—you might be surprised at how much joy they bring! ###### Resident Therapist ## Shayla Johnson [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-headshot-19.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/nicole-thompson/)[ Shayla Johnson](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/ "Shayla Johnson"), LPC-A ## More articles by our professional therapists about grief: - [ ![A close-up of two people of different ethnicities holding hands outdoors, symbolizing unity and support.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/a-close-up-of-two-people-of-different-ethnicities-holding-hands-outdoors-symbolizing-unity-and-support.-10679195-768x1152.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/power-of-kindness-simple-steps-for-kids-and-families/) [Compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/compassion-self-care/) | [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Family Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/family-counseling/) | [Parenting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/parenting/) | [Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/) ## [Power of Kindness: Simple Steps for Kids and Families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/power-of-kindness-simple-steps-for-kids-and-families/) [ Read More Power of Kindness: Simple Steps for Kids and FamiliesContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/power-of-kindness-simple-steps-for-kids-and-families/) - [ ![healing depression](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/shutterstock_344500055-768x512.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-depression/) [Bipolar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/bipolar/) | [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Depression](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/depression/) | [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) | [Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) ## [5 Ways to Start Healing Depression Today](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-depression/) [ Read More 5 Ways to Start Healing Depression TodayContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-depression/) - [ ![hidden cracks intimate partner violence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/qtq80-DICwFC-768x509.jpeg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-hidden-cracks-signs-youre-in-an-abusive-relationship/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/couples-therapy/) | [Domestic Violence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/domestic-violence/) | [Emotions and Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/emotions-and-relationships/) | [Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/) | [Trauma and Loss](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/) ## [The Hidden Cracks: Signs You’re in an Abusive Relationship](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-hidden-cracks-signs-youre-in-an-abusive-relationship/) [ Read More The Hidden Cracks: Signs You’re in an Abusive RelationshipContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-hidden-cracks-signs-youre-in-an-abusive-relationship/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-headshot-19.png) Shayla Johnson Resident Therapist As a professional with a Master of Arts in Counseling and a Master’s in Divinity from the Houston Graduate School of Theology, and licensed as a Professional Counselor Associate, I am dedicated to supporting you in your journey of self-discovery. I firmly believe that the answers we seek are within. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) Mental Health EMDR Art Therapy Self Compassion **Categories:** Counseling, Gratitude, Self-Care Practices, The Human Brain --- ### [5 Ways to Start Healing Depression Today](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-depression/) **Published:** October 24, 2024 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Excerpt:** There are some simple, though not easy, steps you can begin to help your brain start healing from depression. **Content:** Depression is a very treatable condition that lives in our brain. Research shows that the best treatment involves therapy and medication. However, there are some simple, though not easy, steps you can begin to help your brain recover and rebuild to begin healing depression. Here are five beginning steps to guide you toward healing depression: ![self care isn't selfish](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/selfcare-isnt-selfish_shutterstock_1895569528.jpg) ## **1. Self-Care** Self-care is often one of the first things to go when someone is struggling with depression, but it’s also one of the most essential for recovery. Taking care of yourself means taking intentional actions to support your physical and mental well-being. It might involve forcing yourself to do the basics like showering, brushing your teeth, or eating a balanced meal. It also extends to small acts that can help bring a sense of relief or normalcy, such as putting on lotion, wearing clean clothes, or spending time outdoors. Self-care includes good habits around sleep hygiene. Depression often disrupts sleep patterns, making it difficult to get quality rest. Creating a consistent bedtime routine, reducing screen time before sleep, and keeping a regular schedule can help improve the quality of your sleep, which in turn supports your brain’s recovery. Light exercise, like a short walk or gentle stretching, can also be a part of self-care, as it promotes the release of endorphins, the body’s natural mood elevators. ## ****2. Self-Compassion**** When dealing with depression, it’s common to struggle with harsh self-criticism and judgment. Self-compassion involves recognizing your own suffering and responding with kindness rather than criticism. Imagine how you would speak to a friend who is going through a hard time. Now, try to speak to yourself with the same gentle and supportive tone. Part of self-compassion is learning to shift the negative thoughts that arise. Depression has a way of filling the mind with cruel or condescending messages about oneself. Work on naming what you feel, giving that feeling some space, and deciding how to respond to it with kindness and understanding. Sometimes this means sorting through what is true and what is not, as depression can distort thoughts and perceptions. Ask yourself, “Would I say this to a friend who I care about?” If the answer is no, then it’s time to change how you are speaking to yourself. ![self-compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/qtq80-vM0osv-1024x1024.jpeg) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/a-moment-of-selfcompassion.jpg) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/qtq80-hOEtJv-1024x683.jpeg) ## ******3. Support****** Isolation often accompanies depression, but support is a crucial element of healing. This doesn’t necessarily mean having a large social circle; it’s about finding quality connections that provide genuine care and understanding. If certain relationships in your life are not supportive or are even toxic, it’s okay to take a step back from those people while you heal. Support can come in many forms. It could be a friend, a family member, a support group, or professional help from a therapist or psychiatrist who can guide you through the recovery process. It’s about finding people and resources that can help you through the tough days and foster growth as you navigate the pain. ## **4. Sustained Awareness** Sustained awareness is the goal when it comes to managing the overwhelming emotions that often accompany depression. It involves observing your mental and emotional state without judgment and learning to tolerate difficult thoughts, feelings, or situations. This practice helps you stay present with what is true, accepting what you are feeling and giving it space. The ability to stay present when emotions are overwhelming is key to building resilience. It gives your nervous system a chance to avoid moving into fight-or-flight or shutdown mode. If you struggle to stay in this balanced state, familiarizing yourself with the concept of the “window of tolerance” can be a helpful tool. It helps track your nervous system’s reactions, such as slipping into hyperarousal (fight or flight) or hypoarousal (shutdown), and offers ways to bring yourself back into a calmer state. For more guidance, my colleague Nicole Thompson recently wrote a blog on the window of tolerance that you may find helpful. ### *When you’re stuck in a state of regression, the goal is to swim up to higher functioning.* ## **5. Self-Confrontation** Self-confrontation means facing the truth about yourself with courage and kindness. It involves honestly looking at your behavior, thoughts, and emotions, and addressing the areas where you might be avoiding pain. During depression, it’s easy to slip into a mindset of powerlessness, blaming others, or feeling like a victim of your circumstances. While there are indeed times when situations are out of our control, we often have more agency than we realize. Self-confrontation is about finding that agency. It’s about questioning the beliefs you’ve internalized—especially those that may have been shaped by past traumas or negative experiences—and recognizing which ones are true and which are not. When you’re stuck in a state of regression, the goal is to swim up to higher functioning. This means addressing important matters instead of avoiding them, responding thoughtfully to circumstances rather than reacting impulsively and learning to tolerate discomfort for the sake of growth. For a deeper understanding of regression and its impact on functioning, you may find the last section on regression in Dr. Schnarch’s manuscript [“Living at the Bottom of the Ocean”](https://crucible4points.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/Living_at_the_Bottom_of_the_Ocean.pdf) particularly insightful. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/canstockphoto3715527-copy.jpg) resource video## Tips for coping with depression Fuller Life Therapist Shayla Johnson gives tips for coping with depression outside of therapy. ![healing depression tips](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Shayla-with-tips-for-depression.png) [](https://youtu.be/DyngtzkszCE) ## Healing Depression In conclusion, depression is a serious condition, but it doesn’t have to define you. By focusing on self-care, self-compassion, support, sustained awareness, and self-confrontation, you can begin healing depression and rebuild. These steps are not quick fixes, but they are foundational tools for beginning the healing process during depression. By practicing them regularly, you can rebuild and move toward a healthier, fuller life. Remember, you are not alone in this struggle, and while the journey may be hard, there is hope for a brighter tomorrow. ###### Clinical Director ## [Dr. Amy Fuller](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/ "Dr. Amy Fuller, Clinical Director") [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/FL-Headshout-Round-Amy.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/)Dr. Amy Fuller, LMFT-S, LPC-S, CST-S ## More articles by our professional therapists about grief: - [ ![gratitude](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Gratitude-101-blog-768x432.png) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gratitude-101-the-brain-boosting-power-of-being-thankful/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Gratitude](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/gratitude/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) | [The Human Brain](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/the-human-brain/) ## [Gratitude 101: The Brain-Boosting Power of Being Thankful](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gratitude-101-the-brain-boosting-power-of-being-thankful/) [ Read More Gratitude 101: The Brain-Boosting Power of Being ThankfulContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gratitude-101-the-brain-boosting-power-of-being-thankful/) - [ ![Window of tolerance](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/shutterstock_734493319-768x432.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/window-of-tolerance/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/) | [Stress Management](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/stress-management/) | [The Human Brain](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/the-human-brain/) ## [A Simple Tool to Manage Stress: the Window of Tolerance](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/window-of-tolerance/) [ Read More A Simple Tool to Manage Stress: the Window of ToleranceContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/window-of-tolerance/) - [ ![Turning Despair into Hope: Responding When Teens Talk About Suicide](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Image-1.jpeg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/turning-despair-into-hope-responding-when-teens-talk-about-suicide/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) ## [Turning Despair into Hope: Responding When Teens Talk About Suicide](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/turning-despair-into-hope-responding-when-teens-talk-about-suicide/) [ Read More Turning Despair into Hope: Responding When Teens Talk About SuicideContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/turning-despair-into-hope-responding-when-teens-talk-about-suicide/) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/6d17399acfd9b615dcc0b9c59c57e5ae8935bb0c93952030fbf48b72220e0445?s=300&r=g) Amy Fuller PhD Clinical Director Dr. Amy Fuller is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and professional counselor with over two decades of experience specializing in sex therapy, couples therapy, and trauma. She earned her master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Abilene Christian University and her PhD from St. Mary’s University. Dr. Fuller is the founder and Clinical Director of Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, a nonprofit in Houston committed to providing affordable mental health care and advanced therapist training. She is an AASECT-certified sex therapist and supervisor, known for her compassionate and evidence-based approach. Dr. Fuller serves as the Specialization Director for Sex Therapy and Trauma in the Doctor of Professional Counseling program at Kairos University, where she mentors emerging clinicians. With a passion for making therapy accessible and equipping therapists for meaningful, lasting work, Dr. Fuller integrates clinical excellence, spirituality, and cultural responsiveness into every aspect of her practice. [See Full Bio](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) [ ](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) Couples Therapy Healing Trauma Sex Therapy Mental Health Family Therapy EMDR Relationships Mindfulness [ ![social network 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](https://www.linkedin.com/in/amyfullerphd/) **Categories:** Bipolar, Counseling, Depression, Mental Health, Self-Awareness, Self-Care Practices --- ### [A Simple Tool to Manage Stress: the Window of Tolerance](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/window-of-tolerance/) **Published:** October 16, 2024 **Author:** Nicole Thompson **Excerpt:** Most people find it hard to adjust to change. But don't worry—there are ways to make this process smoother. **Content:** The Window of Tolerance is a tool that helps us understand how our bodies react to stress and trauma. Developed by Dr. Dan Siegel, it shows the “optimal zone of arousal,” where we feel calm and in control, even during stressful situations. This zone is where we can manage our emotions without feeling overwhelmed. But when stress or trauma hits hard, our body reacts by shifting out of this window, either by going into **hyperarousal** or **hypoarousal**. ![mother burnout](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/woman-stressed-and-kids-burnout-shutterstock_2219077613.jpg) ## **Hyperarousal: When You’re Too Stressed** When you are **above** the Window of Tolerance, your body enters the **hyperarousal** state. In this state, you may experience feelings of panic, anxiety, fear, or irritability. You may feel overly alert, like you’re constantly on edge or defensive. This is also where unhealthy coping mechanisms like overeating, addictions, or anger issues can start. ## **Symptoms of Hyperarousal:** - Panic or fear - Anxiety or irritability - Difficulty relaxing or sleeping - Constant alertness (hypervigilance) ## ****Hypoarousal: When You Shut Down**** If you drop **below** the Window of Tolerance, you enter the **hypoarousal** state. This is where feelings of sadness, depression, or numbness can appear. In this zone, you might feel disconnected from your body, zoned out, or unable to remember things clearly. You may even find it hard to get started on tasks or feel constantly tired. ## ****Symptoms of Hypoarousal:**** - Depression or sadness - Feeling emotionally numb - Difficulty starting or finishing tasks - Fatigue and low energy ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/teen-canstockphoto89094807-scaled-e1630989903498-1024x1024.jpg) [![Fuller Life Window of Tolerance](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Screenshot-2024-10-14-at-44758 PM-1024x578.png)]() ## ******Why Understanding the Window of Tolerance Matters****** Knowing your Window of Tolerance is important because it helps you recognize when your body is under stress and how you react. Understanding your reactions can lead to better self-awareness and help you stay calm under pressure. Instead of feeling shame or frustration over how you react to stress, this tool encourages self-compassion and helps you manage your emotions more effectively. ## **How to Expand Your Window of Tolerance** We all move in and out of our Window of Tolerance daily. The good news is that you can take steps to stay within the optimal zone for longer periods, which helps you handle stress better. Here are some proven ways to do this: 1. **Mindfulness and Breathing Techniques**: Simple practices like deep breathing, meditation, or mindfulness exercises can help calm your nervous system and bring you back into the optimal zone. One technique is called “square breathing,” where you breathe in for four seconds, hold for four, exhale for four, and then hold again for four. 2. **Get Professional Support**: Working with a trauma-informed therapist can help you understand your stress reactions better. A good therapist will help you find personalized solutions to expand your Window of Tolerance. 3. **Body Awareness**: Therapists trained in somatic experiencing help you understand how your body stores trauma. Noticing your physical sensations can help you connect emotions to bodily responses, leading to healing. 4. **Prioritize Self-Care**: Self-care isn’t just about treating yourself—it’s about maintaining a balance between rest and activity, joy and relaxation. Doing activities that make you happy and recharge your energy can help keep you in your optimal zone. ## **Final Thoughts: Managing Stress With Self-Awareness** Remember, moving in and out of your Window of Tolerance is normal throughout the day. Instead of aiming to eliminate all stress, focus on recognizing your emotional states, noticing when you’re stressed, and using tools like breathing and mindfulness to stay balanced. By becoming aware of how you react to stress, and learning how to stay within your optimal zone, you can manage challenges with more resilience and peace. ###### Resident Therapist ## [Nicole Thompson](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/ "Nicole Thompson") [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/FL-Headshot-Round-Nicole.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/nicole-thompson/)Nioole Thompson, LMFT-A, LPC-A[Nicole Thompson](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/nicole-thompson/ "Nicole Thompson") ## More articles by our professional therapists about grief: - [ ![Ambiguous Grief: Nurturing Compassion in the Healing Journey](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Screen-Shot-2024-06-28-at-53801-PM-768x553.png) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/ambiguous-grief-nurturing-compassion-in-the-healing-journey/) [Grief](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/grief/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) | [Trauma and Loss](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/) ## [Ambiguous Grief: Nurturing Compassion in the Healing Journey](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/ambiguous-grief-nurturing-compassion-in-the-healing-journey/) [ Read More Ambiguous Grief: Nurturing Compassion in the Healing JourneyContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/ambiguous-grief-nurturing-compassion-in-the-healing-journey/) - [ ![self-care self-compassion healing journey grief](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/self-compassion-shutterstock_2427342981.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care/) [Compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/compassion-self-care/) | [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) | [Self-Esteem](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/self-esteem/) ## [Elevate Your Self-Care Routine: Beyond Bath Bombs and Manicures](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care/) [ Read More Elevate Your Self-Care Routine: Beyond Bath Bombs and ManicuresContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care/) - [ ![therapy perceptions holding you back](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/shutterstock_709431595-768x512.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/10-misperceptions-effective-therapy/) [Cognitive Reframing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/cognitive-reframing-3/) | [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Family Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/family-counseling/) | [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) | [mental health,](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health-3/) | [Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/) | [Teletherapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/teletherapy/) ## [10 Ways Your (Mis)Perceptions of Therapy Are Holding You Back](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/10-misperceptions-effective-therapy/) [ Read More 10 Ways Your (Mis)Perceptions of Therapy Are Holding You BackContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/10-misperceptions-effective-therapy/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/FL-Headshot-Round-Nicole.png) Nicole Thompson I hold a master's degree in counseling psychology from Capella University and marriage and family therapy from Capella and Houston Christian University, respectively. I am a Prepare/Enrich and Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts (SYMBIS) facilitator which I use in my work with couples preparing for marriage. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapy Associate under the supervision of Amy Fuller PhD, LMFT, LPC. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/nicolethompson/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/nicolethompson/) Mental Health Sand Therapy EMDR Couples Therapy **Categories:** Counseling, Self-Awareness, Stress Management, The Human Brain --- ### [Ambiguous Grief: Nurturing Compassion in the Healing Journey](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/ambiguous-grief-nurturing-compassion-in-the-healing-journey/) **Published:** June 28, 2024 **Author:** Shayla Johnson **Excerpt:** Grief is challenging, but practicing self-compassion allows this stage to be a natural part of the healing process rather than an additional burden. **Content:** In the quest for self-improvement, the topic of grief often remains in the shadows. Typically, we associate grief with loss, particularly the death of a loved one. However, what often goes unacknowledged is that grief is an integral part of the healing journey. ## **Understanding the Healing Process** When we envision healing, we imagine a better version of ourselves or a brighter future. But what about the journey to reach that “better place”? It involves moments of solitude, letting go, experiencing pain, facing and moving toward that pain, and letting go of people and things that were once familiar. This is the grief phase of healing, where feelings of sadness, abandonment, anger, and bargaining arise, mirroring the stages of grief experienced when losing a loved one. ![self-care self-compassion healing journey grief](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/self-compassion-shutterstock_2427342981.jpg) ![healing journey](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/qtq80-7IYd15-1024x683.jpeg) ## **Ambiguous Grief Explained** Some refer to this as “ambiguous grief,” a sense of loss for someone or something that is still physically present but has changed or is no longer as present in our lives as before. This often necessitates grieving while those individuals or aspects are still part of our lives, albeit in a different capacity. ## ****How to Approach the Grief Stage**** The approach to the grief stage varies based on where you are in your journey, your areas of growth, and how you navigate this phase. However, the key to moving through grief is self-compassion. It involves allowing yourself to lean into the pain while offering understanding, grace, and kindness to yourself, just as you would to a friend. Grief is challenging, but practicing self-compassion allows this stage to be a natural part of the healing process rather than an additional burden. --- ## ## Grief is challenging, but practicing self-compassion allows this stage to be a natural part of the healing process rather than an additional burden. ![self-compassion healing journey](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/heart-self-love-shutterstock_332997116.jpg) ## ******Why Self-Compassion is Crucial****** While grief may not be a widely discussed aspect of the healing journey, it is undeniably a part of it. Rather than avoiding or resenting it, approach it with the same compassion you extend to other stages of your healing journey. If you need support along your healing journey, consider visiting Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute’s website below and connecting with a therapist who aligns with your needs. ## **Conclusion and Next Steps** Grief is an essential, yet often overlooked, part of healing. By acknowledging and embracing this stage with self-compassion, you can continue your journey toward a better, more fulfilled self. For more guidance, visit Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute. ###### Resident Therapist ## [Shayla Johnson](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/ "Shayla Johnson, Resident Therapist") ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-Headshot.png) \#image\_title ## More articles by our professional therapists about grief: - [ ![mother burnout](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/woman-stressed-and-kids-burnout-shutterstock_2219077613-768x538.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout-3/) [Boundaries](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/boundaries-relationships/) | [Lifestyle](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/lifestyle/) | [mental health,](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health-3/) | [Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) | [Stress Management](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/stress-management/) ## [Breaking Free from Burnout: Identifying Causes and Creating Change](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout-3/) [ Read More Breaking Free from Burnout: Identifying Causes and Creating ChangeContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout-3/) - [ ![Confident Black Woman](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/canstockphoto35889285-768x529.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-positivity-black-female-sexual-expression-is-not-hypersexual-or-shameful/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) ## [Sex Positivity: Black Female Sexual Expression is Not Hypersexual or Shameful](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-positivity-black-female-sexual-expression-is-not-hypersexual-or-shameful/) [ Read More Sex Positivity: Black Female Sexual Expression is Not Hypersexual or ShamefulContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-positivity-black-female-sexual-expression-is-not-hypersexual-or-shameful/) - [ ![Nothing Changes, if Nothing Changes](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/ChangeStockPhoto-1-768x768.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/nothing-changes-if-nothing-changes/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Lifestyle](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/lifestyle/) | [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) | [Problem Solving](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/problem-solving/) | [Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/) | [transitions](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/transitions/) ## [Nothing Changes, if Nothing Changes](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/nothing-changes-if-nothing-changes/) [ Read More Nothing Changes, if Nothing ChangesContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/nothing-changes-if-nothing-changes/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-headshot-19.png) Shayla Johnson Resident Therapist As a professional with a Master of Arts in Counseling and a Master’s in Divinity from the Houston Graduate School of Theology, and licensed as a Professional Counselor Associate, I am dedicated to supporting you in your journey of self-discovery. I firmly believe that the answers we seek are within. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) Mental Health EMDR Art Therapy Self Compassion **Categories:** Grief, Self-Care Practices, Trauma and Loss --- ### [Elevate Your Self-Care Routine: Beyond Bath Bombs and Manicures](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care/) **Published:** May 31, 2024 **Author:** Shayla Johnson **Excerpt:** Self-care is about nurturing ourselves on a deeper level, tending to our souls, and cultivating inner peace that radiates outward **Content:** When the concept of self-care first gained traction, it often revolved around indulgent activities like spa days and manicures. While these can be enjoyable, they only address the surface level of our well-being. Self-care is about nurturing ourselves on a deeper level, tending to our souls, and cultivating inner peace that radiates outward. Let’s explore some key aspects of self-care that go beyond the superficial and delve into the essence of self-nurturance. ## Pratice Self-Compassion Self-compassion is more than just a trendy term; it’s a profound act of kindness towards oneself. It involves treating yourself with the same empathy and understanding that you would offer a friend in need. Rather than shying away from discomfort, self-compassion encourages you to embrace it, offering yourself solace and care in moments of distress. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/self-compassion-shutterstock_2427342981.jpg) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/heart-self-love-shutterstock_332997116.jpg) ## Embracing Self-Love At the core of self-care lies self-love, the act of valuing yourself as a worthy individual deserving of love and respect. Drawing inspiration from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, self-love is patient, kind, and devoid of envy or pride. By prioritizing self-love, you establish a foundation of emotional well-being that transcends external validation. ## **Practicing Self-Kindness** Kindness, in its essence, is about being friendly, generous, and considerate. Extending this kindness to oneself involves accepting one’s flaws and imperfections with understanding and support. By cultivating self-kindness, you create a safe internal space that fosters self-acceptance and security. --- ## ## Self-compassion is more than just a trendy term; it’s a profound act of kindness towards oneself ![exercise](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/exercise-shutterstock_2382811539.jpg) ## ****Nurturing Your Body**** Taking care of your body is an integral part of self-care, with [numerous studies](https://www.mindful.org/you-can-change-your-life-by-loving-yourself/) highlighting the impact of healthy living on mental health. Your diet and exercise regimen play crucial roles in shaping your mood and stress levels. Starting small, such as incorporating more fruits and vegetables into your meals or engaging in brief exercise sessions, can be significant steps towards a healthier lifestyle. ## Self-Care for Mental Health Self-care is a holistic approach that encompasses self-love, self-compassion, self-kindness, and a commitment to a healthy lifestyle. These elements are not only crucial for our well-being but also for our mental health. By embracing self-compassion during tough times, practicing self-kindness in challenging situations, and prioritizing self-love and healthy living, we can truly care for ourselves in a meaningful way. For more in-depth discussions on self-compassion, self-kindness, self-love, and healthy living, refer to the articles linked below. ###### Resident Therapist ## [Shayla Johnson](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/ "Shayla Johnson, Resident Therapist") ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-Headshot.png) \#image\_title ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-headshot-19.png) Shayla Johnson Resident Therapist As a professional with a Master of Arts in Counseling and a Master’s in Divinity from the Houston Graduate School of Theology, and licensed as a Professional Counselor Associate, I am dedicated to supporting you in your journey of self-discovery. I firmly believe that the answers we seek are within. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) Mental Health EMDR Art Therapy Self Compassion **Categories:** Compassion, Mental Health, Self-Care Practices, Self-Esteem --- ### [Self-Compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-compassion/) **Published:** March 23, 2013 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** [![Compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/canstock6673188.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/compassion-healing-relationships/canstock6673188/) Compassionate self-talk has been shown to calm the threat-detection system and allow us to be more understanding with others. [Kristin Neff](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-compassion/) is an expert in self-compassion. Her research found that “people who can first give themselves emotional support and validation will be in a better position to be giving, accepting and generous to their partners.” She also found that “people who nurture self-compassion have better overall psychological and emotional health, experience less anxiety and depression, are more motivated to achieve their goals.” ([Randall, 2013](http://www.utexas.edu/know/2013/02/08/happy-valentines-day-to-me/)) When we talk to ourselves with criticism and self-judgment, we fuel anger and anxiety. When we respond to ourselves with kindness and compassion, we calm our body and create space to respond courageously with our best selves. Paul Gilbert, in his video series on self-compassion, uses the illustration of talking to our best friend. If a friend found himself or herself going through these challenges, how would we comfort and console? Likewise, be a friend to yourself. ([Paul Gilbert, 2011](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-compassion/)) Know that the body is capable of calming itself down, and that the brain is lighting up to meet each unique challenge that arises. Try these steps: - Take a deep breath (calms body and helps us disengage) - [Take a time-out](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/anger-in-relationships/), calm down, and allow emotions time to settle - Notice self-talk - Respond to self with kindness and compassion - Start Over - Repeat anytime [![Paul Gilbert](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/dr_180a4517e803d04cb2f069db09d7be43-210x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-compassion/dr_180a4517e803d04cb2f069db09d7be43/) **Video Interviews with Paul Gilbert about Self-Compassion** A practicing clinical psychologist for over thirty years, Paul Gilbert, PhD, is world renowned for his work on compassion and developed the techniques of compassion focused therapy. Each video is a twelve minute interview with Paul Gilbert about the practice and benefits of self-compassion. [\[pb\_vidembed title=”Paul Gilbert: Talk Nicely to Yourself” caption=”” url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kF7FRy0\_xs” type=”yt” w=”480″ h=”385″\]](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kF7FRy0_xs) - [Video 2: Talk nicely to yourself.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mq7grBNc550 "Paul Gilbert Talk Nicely to Yourself") - [Video 3: Talk nicely to yourself.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLJ7hGdQdnU "Paul Gilbert Talk Nicely to Yourself") - [Video 4: Talk nicely to yourself.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OzQ_SaLj-o "Paul Gilbert Talk Nicely to Yourself") - [Video 5: Talk nicely to yourself.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPfHf0oFKRw "Paul Gilbert Talk Nicely to Yourself") [![tribeza](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/tribeza.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-compassion/tribeza/) **Video on Self-Compassion with Dr. Kristin Neff** **Dr. Kristin Neff** is one of the world’s leading experts on self-compassion and an Associate Professor at the University of Texas at Austin. She is author of *Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind* (William Morrow, 2011). Curious how compassionate you are to yourself? Use this simple questionnaire to find out. - [Self Test on Self-Compassion](http://www.self-compassion.org/test-your-self-compassion-level.html) - [Dr. Kristin Neff’s Website on Self-Compassion](http://www.self-compassion.org/) \[pb\_vidembed title=”The Space Between Self-Esteem and Self-Compassion” caption=”” url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvtZBUSplr4″ type=”yt” w=”480″ h=”385″\] ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Counseling, Sticky --- ### [Turning Despair into Hope: Responding When Teens Talk About Suicide](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/turning-despair-into-hope-responding-when-teens-talk-about-suicide/) **Published:** September 20, 2024 **Author:** Shayla Johnson **Excerpt:** The moment a teen opens up about suicide is your opportunity to intervene. **Content:** Few conversations are more alarming or heartbreaking than hearing a teen express a desire to end their life. Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or friend, knowing how to respond in that moment can make a crucial difference. In this guide, we’ll cover what steps to take when a young person opens up about suicidal thoughts and how you can provide support that could save a life. ## **The Shocking Truth: Suicide Is the Second Leading Cause of Death in Teens** According to the CDC, suicide is the second leading cause of death for individuals aged 10-24 in the United States, claiming thousands of lives each year. These staggering numbers remind us of the urgent need to talk openly about mental health and provide a lifeline to struggling teens. Understanding the risk factors, such as social media pressures, bullying, and family conflict, is the first step toward helping a young person in crisis. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/canstockphoto13240733-e1403723670541.jpg) ![Caleb Fuller Life GEMS](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/shutterstock_2343681645-scaled.jpg) ## **When a Teen Says They Want to Die: How to React in the Moment** Hearing a teen say they want to die is terrifying. Your initial reaction may be panic or disbelief, but staying calm and composed is essential. Here’s how to respond: - **Listen First, Talk Later**: When a teen confides in you about suicidal thoughts, your primary job is to listen—without interrupting, minimizing, or rushing to offer solutions. By offering them a safe space to talk, you help them feel understood rather than judged. It’s okay to say, “I’m really glad you told me, and I’m here to help.” - **Don’t Be Afraid to Ask Directly**: Many people worry that asking about suicide will “put the idea in their head,” but research shows the opposite. Asking directly, “Are you thinking about suicide?” opens the door for honest communication. If they say yes, you’ve taken the first crucial step toward getting them help. ## ****When to Step In: The Red Flags You Can’t Ignore**** Recognizing the signs of suicidal ideation is critical. Some warning signs are subtle, while others may be more overt. Here are some behaviors to watch out for: - **Sudden Withdrawal**: Teens who pull away from friends, family, or activities they once enjoyed may be sending a silent signal of distress. - **Giving Away Possessions**: If they start handing out prized belongings or writing goodbye notes, it’s time to act fast. These are often signs that someone has made the decision to attempt suicide. - **Dramatic Mood Swings**: If a teen experiences sudden shifts in mood—from deep sadness to irritability or euphoria—it could be a sign of internal turmoil. Mood swings are common among those struggling with suicidal thoughts. --- ## ## The moment a teen opens up about suicide is your opportunity to intervene. ![Woman in distress on the phone](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/year-end-photo-mya-fl-2023-shutterstock_195640631.jpg) ## ******You Can Save a Life: Steps to Take When a Teen Is Suicidal****** The moment a teen opens up about suicide is your opportunity to intervene. Here’s what you can do: 1\. **Stay With Them**: If you believe they’re in immediate danger, don’t leave them alone. Whether you stay physically with them or offer constant emotional support, your presence can be a grounding force in their moment of crisis. 2\. **Contact a Professional**: Connect them with a mental health professional, counselor, or therapist who is trained to handle suicidal ideation. Don’t hesitate to call the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (988) for guidance on how to proceed in an emergency. 3\. **Remove Any Means of Harm**: If they have access to weapons, medications, or anything that could be used for self-harm, take immediate steps to remove those items from their environment. ## **Breaking the Silence: What to Say and What NOT to Say** - Knowing what to say can feel overwhelming, but there are simple guidelines to follow: - **Offer Reassurance, Not Solutions**: Avoid saying things like, “It’s not that bad” or “You’ll get over it.” Instead, offer reassurance: “I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, but I’m so glad you told me. I want to help.” - **Avoid Guilt-Inducing Statements**: Comments like “How could you think of doing this to me?” or “You’re being selfish” can push a teen further into isolation. Keep the focus on their feelings, not your fears. - **Encourage, Don’t Push**: Gently encourage them to talk to a professional, but avoid making them feel pressured. If they resist, offer to go with them for support or explore other resources together, like hotlines or text services. The Trevor Project (1-866-488-7386) offers crisis support tailored to LGBTQ+ youth. ## **Follow-Up Care: Why Ongoing Support Matters** The conversation doesn’t end after the initial crisis has passed. Follow-up care is critical to ensuring long-term recovery and stability. Here’s how you can continue to offer support: - **Check In Regularly**: After the immediate crisis, make a point to regularly check in with the teen. A simple, “How are you doing?” or “Do you want to talk?” can remind them that they’re not alone in their struggles. - **Provide Encouragement**: Encourage them to attend counseling sessions, and help them find support groups if needed. Ongoing therapy and peer support can make all the difference in a teen’s recovery journey. - **Stay Involved**: Whether it’s through family activities, school meetings, or regular communication, staying involved in their life can offer a sense of connection and support that’s crucial during their healing process. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Image.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Image.jpeg) ## **Final Thoughts: You’re Not Alone—And Neither Are They** The path to mental health and suicide prevention is not one you or the teen has to walk alone. There are countless resources available, from the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (988) to local counseling services and support groups. Offering a lifeline during a moment of crisis can change—and even save—a life. By staying calm, listening with empathy, and seeking professional help, you can help a young person navigate their darkest moments and find hope again. ###### Resident Therapist ## [Shayla Johnson](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/ "Shayla Johnson, Resident Therapist") [![Shayla Johnson](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/SHayla-Headshot-1.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/)Shayla Johnson ## More articles by our professional therapists about grief: - [ ![sand tray therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/sand-therapy-canstockphoto88760472-768x512.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/magic-sand-tray/) [ADD-ADHD](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/add-adhd/) | [Adolescents & Children](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/) | [Child Abuse (Safety)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/child-abuse/) | [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Depression, Bipolar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/depression-bipolar/) | [Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/play-therapy/) | [Social Skills](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/social-skills/) ## [Working it out in the Sand: The Magic of Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/magic-sand-tray/) [ Read More Working it out in the Sand: The Magic of Sand Tray TherapyContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/magic-sand-tray/) - [ ![Beautiful Black Woman](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/qtq80-sTeu5b-768x513.jpeg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-orgasm-gap-and-what-it-means-for-women/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/couples-therapy/) | [Intimacy & Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/intimacy-sex-therapy/) | [Marriage](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/marriage-counseling/) | [Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/) | [Sexual Education](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/sexual-education/) ## [The Orgasm Gap and What it Means for Women](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-orgasm-gap-and-what-it-means-for-women/) [ Read More The Orgasm Gap and What it Means for WomenContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-orgasm-gap-and-what-it-means-for-women/) - [ ![foreplay 101](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/canstockphoto17647915-2-1-768x617.jpg) ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/foreplay-101-what-to-know-to-get-the-juices-flowing/) [Couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/couples-therapy/) | [Intimacy & Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/intimacy-sex-therapy/) | [Marriage](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/marriage-counseling/) | [Sexual Education](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/sexual-education/) ## [Foreplay 101: What to Know to Get the Juices Flowing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/foreplay-101-what-to-know-to-get-the-juices-flowing/) [ Read More Foreplay 101: What to Know to Get the Juices FlowingContinue ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/foreplay-101-what-to-know-to-get-the-juices-flowing/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-headshot-19.png) Shayla Johnson Resident Therapist As a professional with a Master of Arts in Counseling and a Master’s in Divinity from the Houston Graduate School of Theology, and licensed as a Professional Counselor Associate, I am dedicated to supporting you in your journey of self-discovery. I firmly believe that the answers we seek are within. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) Mental Health EMDR Art Therapy Self Compassion **Categories:** Counseling --- ### [Teletherapy, Is It Right For Me?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/teletherapy-is-it-right-for-me/) **Published:** August 3, 2020 **Author:** Angela Blocker **Content:** Since the outbreak of COVID19, many healthcare professionals have switched to telehealth platforms, including counselors and therapists! Called Tele*mental* health or teletherapy, it is the use of telemedicine to provide mental health assessment and treatment from a distance, such as online or through the phone. For those of us more accustomed to traditional face-to-face therapy sessions, it is normal to feel hesitant, uncomfortable, or even skeptical. However, teletherapy does have its benefits and can be very effective. ### Here Are Six Things to Know: - Your Confidentiality is a Priority Confidentiality is the foundation therapy builds upon and is crucial to a trustworthy relationship between therapist and client. For this reason, counselors take extra precaution to protect you when offering services through the phone or online. Information transmitted online offers more opportunities for privacy leaks and hacks. Counselors are required to use HIPAA approved online platforms that protect your personal information each step of the way. These platforms reduce the risks of breaches occurring over the internet and your private information being compromised. - Teletherapy Increases Access to Treatment Physically traveling to and from a therapy office can be cumbersome or even impossible for some, especially for those who are sick or disabled. Telemental health extends care to those physically unable to come in for treatment. It also allows you and your therapist to continue care if either is ill but well enough to engage in the session. Telemental health also provides a safe alternative when severe weather prevents travel or during times of social distancing, as we are experiencing now with COVID-19. - TeleMental Health Increases Options in Type of Treatment and Therapist Finding therapists with specific areas of expertise such as trauma, marriage, grief, or a certain mental health disorder may otherwise be limited by physical traveling distance; but, telemental health extends access to therapists across your state. Teletherapy also makes it easier to find a therapist who speaks the same language or is more experienced working with a specific cultural group. - The Quality of In-Person Therapy is Not Lost The rapport between you and your counselor is important. Many are concerned that the screen or phone will create a barrier that makes the therapeutic process too impersonal. However, compared to face-to-face therapy, there is no significant difference between the perception of the working relationship between the client and the teletherapist. There was also no significant difference in overall satisfaction with services. When one study controlled for technological difficulty, the study indicated that session smoothness and depth were not significantly different from in-person treatment either. - Your Safety is Important Since teletherapists are physically distant from you, responding to a crisis is more tricky than being in the room with you. However, your teletherapist will create a safety plan with you before the first session begins just in case! This helps to ensure safety in the event of an emergency. - Teletherapy is Effective for Kids, too! One qualitative study showed that kids and teens tend to feel more comfortable with technology than adults when in therapy remotely. Children also felt they had more choice in the process of therapy. In some cases, telemental health has been shown and hypothesized to be better for some kids than in-person care, like those with some autism spectrum disorders. Some children with ADHD had a higher satisfaction rate when using teletherapy as opposed to traditional therapy. Telemental health can be a new and exciting way to experience therapy during this time. At the same time, teletherapy is not for everyone and it is important to share any concerns with your therapist who has expertise in navigating telehealth benefits and challenges. We work with you to help you choose the best course of treatment for you! For more tips on creating a confidential space for teletherapy, frequently asked questions about telehealth, or information on getting started with teletherapy at Fuller Life, you can read more [here](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/what-to-know-about-teletherapy/) or to ask a question feel free to email us at info@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org. Read more on Teletherapy: [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/canstockphoto41152491.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/what-to-know-about-teletherapy/)What to know about Teletherapy by Elisa Squier [What to know about Teletherapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/what-to-know-about-teletherapy/) by [Elisa Squier](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/elisasquier/) ## References - Cherry, K. (2020, May 11). The Pros and Cons of Online Therapy. Retrieved August 03, 2020, from https://www.verywellmind.com/advantages-and-disadvantages-of-online-therapy-2795225 - Hilty, D., Ferrer, D., Parish, M., Johnston, B., Callahan, E., & Yellowlees, P. (2013, June). The effectiveness of telemental health: A 2013 review. Retrieved August 03, 2020, from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3662387/?fbclid=IwAR3xtzZHjb9PcMMo47PNehxsQMcb\_CvEWAw2-e\_5l9EOAjUOOCQxK6cfHJo ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Angela-Blocker-LMFT-e1631303162413.png) Angela Blocker [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) Mental Health Play Therapy Parenting Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Counseling, Covid-19, Teletherapy **Tags:** confidentiality, effectiveness, pros and cons, safety, teletherapy --- ### [When African Americans Grieve](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/when-african-americans-grieve/) **Published:** October 19, 2020 **Author:** 1-Stephanie Jordan **Content:** This summer, the nation and the world grieved the loss of George Floyd and other victims of police violence. The sting of racial injustice combined with police brutality continues to cause outrage and incalculable grief among African Americans; a “conscious nightmare” if you are black in America. Grief as a function of ethnicity is not widely researched within the bereavement scientific community; particularly grief experiences of African Americans. However, the grief process for African Americans differs from Eurocentric culture and has distinct factors and features that contribute to their grieving process. ### **Distinct Factors That Contribute to the African American Grieving Process** There are many factors that contribute to a distinct grief process for African Americans. These include losses to homicides, a diminished lifespan, a history of sociological disadvantages, poverty, racism, oppression, police brutality, civil injustices, incarceration, and drug and alcohol abuse. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) data shows the homicide rate among African Americans is eight times higher than that of Caucasians. Thus, African Americans are likely to experience premature loss of a loved one to homicide. They live approximately six to seven years fewer than Caucasians. Moreover, socioeconomic disadvantages persist across multiple generations of African American families. These life-long, and lingering stressors contribute to how African Americans experience grief and is commonly referred to among mental health professionals as complicated or prolonged grief experiences. ### **Distinctive Features of African American Grief** There are inherent strengths and distinct features that show how grief differs in the African American culture in contrast to the Eurocentric culture. Continuing bonds, changes in self-identity, kinship bonds, professional and social support, and religious coping are a few of these features. 1. **Continuing Bonds:** African Americans are likely to maintain ongoing spiritual connections with deceased loved ones, mark birth and death occasions, connect to loved ones through dreams or sense their loved one’s presence or have conversations with them, and make frequent visits to the cemetery. 2. **Change in Self-Identity:** Likewise, in this close-knit culture, there is an interconnectedness within “the village” that affects one’s sense of self in the African American community more so than in other groups. 3. **Kinship:** A loss to an extended family member or close friend, in the African American community, is just as significant as a loss in one’s nuclear family. It profoundly affects “the village” regardless of formal kinship. 4. **Professional/post social support:** African Americans are also less likely to use professional therapy services and embody stoicism to a fault. Researchers suggests African Americans believe that sorrow and suffering are to be expected and difficult circumstances tolerated rather than seek help to address the situation. Family support helps, unless members are emotionally preoccupied and have limited capacity to help others through loss. 5. **Religious Coping:** African Americans that do seek help, turn to religious coping and rely on faith, spirituality, and prayer with some seeking informal counseling with church pastors. ### **When African Americans Grieve** When it comes to grief and African Americans, there is no one-size-fits all approach. Important cultural differences and grief variations that are in relationship to – and as a result of – external environmental, structural, and social factors must be considered by mental health professionals in order to understand, and not pathologize, the African American grief experience. While some members in “the village” may stigmatize counseling and therapy services, getting help for grief, loss, and trauma can be cathartic and restorative. ### **References:** Laurie, A., & Neimeyer, R. A. (2008). African Americans in bereavement: Grief as a function of ethnicity. *OMEGA – Journal of Death and Dying*, *57*(2), 173-193. Boulware, D. L., & Bui, N. H. (2015). Bereaved African American adults: The role of social support, religious coping, and continuing bonds. *Journal of Loss and Trauma*, *21*(3), 192-202. Rosenblatt, P. C. (2017). Researching grief: Cultural, relational, and individual possibilities. *Journal of Loss and Trauma*, *22*(8), 617-630. Jarosz, B. (2020, April 16). *Disadvantage for Black families compounded by economic circumstances of Kin – Population reference bureau*. Population Reference Bureau – Inform, Empower, Advance. [https://www.prb.org/disadvantage-for-black-families-compounded-by-economic-circumstances-of-kin/#](https://www.prb.org/disadvantage-for-black-families-compounded-by-economic-circumstances-of-kin/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Stephanie-Jordan-LPC-headshot-e1649525396344.jpeg) 1-Stephanie Jordan [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/stephaniejordan/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/stephaniejordan/) Mental Health Healing Trauma EMDR Couples Therapy Counseling **Categories:** Counseling, Depression, Grief, Mental Health, Trauma and Loss **Tags:** African Americans, Black in America, counseling, Cultural Differences, depression, George Floyd, grief, mental health, Racism and Grief, trauma --- ### [Are you "HEALING" or "DERAILING" your grief process?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-derailing-grief-process/) **Published:** March 23, 2021 **Author:** 1-Stephanie Jordan **Content:** Grief is an equal opportunity offender and impacts everyone, especially during the era of COVID-19. However, how we understand grief varies from person-to-person. Many understand grief through “stages” but realistically a human being’s emotions don’t occur in sequential order. They do not unfold in a predictable way but contains a fluctuating mix of psychological experiences including thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and physical changes. These vary erratically and unpredictably in the short-term and can evolve over a variable period of time. Grief is different for each individual and each loss is also different and can depend upon who the loved one is, how they died, and the stage of life before their death, etc. Grief can reflect a form of love when a loved one dies. Columbia University’s Center for Complicated Grief offers two unique acronyms to understand grief: **“HEALING milestones”** and **“DERAILERS.”** *“Healing Milestones”* allow individuals to adapt to changed circumstances, accept reality, restore well-being and integrate grief into one’s life experiences. H – Honor your loved one and yourself, reconnect with your own interests and values E – Ease your emotional pain, allow emotions in your life, both painful and pleasant A – Accept grief and let it find a place in your life L – Learn to live with reminders of your loss I – Integrate memories of your loved one into your life; let them help you learn and grow N – Narrate stories of the death so that you can understand and accept the reality of your loss G – Gather friends and loved ones and let them into your life. Let them support you Likewise, the journey through healing grief, can become blocked. Consider these “DERAILERS” to help see when the progress is hindered which can lead to prolonged or complicated grief. D – Doubt that you did enough for the person who died (caregiver self-blame) E – Embracing the idea that intense grief is the only way to honor the person who died R – Repeatedly imagining scenarios, “if only” thinking A – Anger and bitterness you can’t resolve or let go of I – Insistent belief that this death was unfair, wrong, or should not have happened L – Lack of faith in the possibility of adapting to the loss and having a promising future E – Excessive avoidance of reminders of the loss R – Rejecting support from others, unable to let others help, feeling hurt and alone S – Survivor guilt that is stopping you from experiencing joy and satisfaction There is no “true north,” on life’s internal emotional compass, to finding one’s way out of grief. Likewise, there are no fixed stages to go through to finalize one’s grief process. Learn to integrate healing milestones into your heart and avoid derailers that hinder your progress forward. Learn to tolerate the unpredictable shifts in your mood, and the directional shifts in your emotions. Grief is done, when it’s done. If you would like to learn more about HEALING milestones and DERAILERS and how grief has impacted the African American community during COVID-19 click on the link below and watch this free webinar. **Reference:** *Loss & grief in real time: The African American experience with COVID-19*. (n.d.). Social Work Action Lab for Social Justice. ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Stephanie-Jordan-LPC-headshot-e1649525396344.jpeg) 1-Stephanie Jordan [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/stephaniejordan/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/stephaniejordan/) Mental Health Healing Trauma EMDR Couples Therapy Counseling **Categories:** Counseling, Covid-19, Grief, Trauma and Loss **Tags:** acceptance, African American Grief, grief, Grief and COVID-19 --- ### [When trauma is “the norm”: About CPTSD](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/when-trauma-has-been-the-norm-about-cpts/) **Published:** May 18, 2021 **Author:** 1-Lindsay Perry **Excerpt:** Children who experience repeated insults, shame, or humiliation start to believe what they are told about themselves. More so, the mind and body start to try and cope with the trauma by disconnecting from the experience and body, which can lead to chronic psychological, physiological, and emotional issues and difficulties. These difficulties can impair a person’s overall functioning in childhood and adulthood. **Content:** Complex post-traumatic stress disorder, or CPTSD is not a formal mental health diagnosis, but this term describes a mental health condition related to the exposure of repeated and chronic traumatic experiences. “Complex PTSD comes in response to chronic traumatization over the course of months or, more often, years. This includes emotional, physical, and/or sexual abuses, domestic violence, living in a war zone, being held captive, human trafficking and other organized rings of abuse, and more. While there are exceptional circumstances where adults develop C-PTSD, it is most often seen in those whose trauma occurred in childhood.” Definition retrieved from . ## **The difference between PTSD and CPTSD** When we think of trauma, we think of physical abuse, sexual abuse, witnessing death, experiencing a natural disaster, or being in a life-threatening situation. These are “big traumas”, or “big T’s”. Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD is a formal diagnosis that describes the distressing symptoms and impacts of big T traumas. While more rare, a chronic or repeated exposure to big T traumas would fit the CPTSD criteria. These big T experiences of trauma are often recognizable as a root cause of distress, as opposed to emotional or psychological trauma. These types of trauma are “little traumas”, or “little t’s”. The main difference between PTSD and CPTSD is the recurring exposure to trauma for a long period of time that is associated with CPTSD. Little traumas are distressing experiences that aren’t in the big T category, and can be more challenging to see. These include, but are not limited to: being insulted, invalidated, humiliated, shamed, made to feel unsafe, made to feel incapable, made to feel less than or unworthy, neglected, violated, etc… Often, CPTSD develops when children experience repeated and chronic little t’s by caregivers or other prominent individuals in their lives. ## **What this looks like in childhood** Here’s an example of complex trauma in childhood from little t’s: A 10-year-old boy works hard at school to get good grades because he was told for years by his parents that he won’t amount to anything unless he’s a straight-A student. He starts struggling with test anxiety, and even though he studies for hours every day, he gets B’s and C’s. When his grades come in, his parents often say things like: “This isn’t hard, why aren’t you getting this?” “You’re not trying hard enough.” “You’re lazy.” “You must be dumb if you can’t do any better.” Eventually, the boy stops trying to get good grades and starts spending his time doing other things besides his school work. He starts to believe that he won’t amount to anything and feel that life is pointless. Children who experience repeated insults, shame, or humiliation, such as in the example above, start to believe what they are told about themselves. More so, the mind and body start to try and cope with the trauma by disconnecting from the experience and body, which can lead to chronic psychological, physiological, and emotional issues and difficulties. These difficulties can impair a person’s overall functioning in childhood and adulthood. ## **What this looks like in adulthood** If we continue with the example above, how this person functions as an adult could look like this: he’s now 25 and works part-time at a tech store and lives alone. He wants a long-term committed relationship, but has a dating pattern of frequent short-term relationships. His relationships often end with him screaming at his partner after he’s asked what he wants to do with his life, which triggers the trauma of his parents saying that he wouldn’t amount to anything. After his break-ups, he secludes himself in his bedroom for days, sometimes missing work because he can’t get out of bed. He struggles with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and emotional regulation issues. Adults who experience CPTSD may not be aware they have experienced trauma. They may feel something is wrong or “off”, but not know what is making them feel that way. Even more so, the way they feel may be so long-standing, that it’s their “normal”, making it difficult to recognize and address. ### **Common signs of CPTSD:** - Anxiety - Depression - Difficulty managing anger - Low self-esteem - Suicidal ideation - Feelings of hopelessness - Impulse issues - insomnia - Quick mood changes - Difficulty maintaining relationships ## **Recovering from CPTSD** While CPTSD can be difficult to uncover, there are ways to recover. Different types of therapies, such as EMDR, somatic experiencing, trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (TF-CBT), trauma-focused emotion-focused therapy (TF-EFT), brainspotting, and others specifically address and help people work through their trauma. For more information on different types of trauma-focused therapies, visit the links in Resources below. ## **What if this is you?** If you’ve experienced the impacts of CPTSD, there is hope and help for recovery. The therapists at Fuller Life Family Therapy are qualified and trained to help you heal. To schedule an appointment, call [(855) 245-5433 ](tel:+18552455433)or email . ### Resources: [EMDR ](https://www.healthline.com/health/emdr-therapy) [Somatic experiencing](https://www.healthline.com/health/somatic-experiencing) [Trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (TFCBT) ](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/trauma-focused-cognitive-behavior-therapy) [Trauma-focused emotionally focused therapy (TFEFT) ](https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/treating-complex-trauma-with-emotion-focused-therapy-0826184) [Brainspotting ](https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/types/brainspotting-therapy#:~:text=Brainspotting%20(BSP)%20is%20a%20relatively,including%20psychologically%20induced%20physical%20pain.) \[pb\_vidembed title=”What is CPTSD?” caption=”” url=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeQ8bgUAnFg” type=”yt” w=”480″ h=”385″\] [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LINDSAY-PERRY-HEADSHOT-1-300x202.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LINDSAY-PERRY-HEADSHOT-1.png)Contributed by [Lindsay Perry, LPC Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/lindsayperry/) Clinical supervision by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LINDSAY-PERRY-HEADSHOT-1-e1631302384595.png) 1-Lindsay Perry [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lindsayperry/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lindsayperry/) Mental Health EMDR Healing Trauma Relationships **Categories:** Child Abuse (Safety), EMDR, Mental Health, Self-Awareness, Suicide Awareness (Crisis Info), Trauma and Loss **Tags:** childhood abuse, counseling, Emotional Abuse, self-esteem, trauma --- ### [Mindfully Weathering the Storm with R.A.I.N.  ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindfully-weathering-the-storm-with-r-a-i-n/) **Published:** March 31, 2022 **Author:** Riya Roney **Excerpt:** Instead of giving in to the storm inside, you can learn to equip yourself with the strategy of R.A.I.N. This strategy enables us to apply mindfulness in a self-compassionate way. **Content:** Mariah Carey’s song, [“Through the Rain”,](https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/mariahcarey/throughtherain.html) has encouraged many during their personal storms. In our fast-paced world, it is very common to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life. It can feel like a chaotic storm, making it difficult to experience a mindful calmness inside. To make matters worse, our hectic experiences can often lead to negative self-talk or other harsh inner critical voices. In such situations, it becomes easy to get caught up in the storm inside. Instead of giving in to the storm inside, you can learn to equip yourself with the strategy of R.A.I.N. This strategy enables us to apply [mindfulness ](https://www.mindful.org/what-is-mindfulness/)in a self-compassionate way. When the brain is in survival mode, it is not considering anything other than trying to stay safe and avoid danger. In the same way, when overwhelming emotions take over, the brain’s focus goes into fight, flight, or freeze mode. What our brains choose to do may not be the healthiest long-term response, but the brain is simply choosing a course of action to keep us safe, as quickly as possible. In such circumstances, it is common to be so overwhelmed that the last thing our brain does is think to apply self-kindness. However, this is just what we need. R.A.I.N. is a 4-step mindfulness tool initially created by Michele McDonald. Tara Brach later established this concept to help with practicing mindfulness with the emphasis on self-compassion. ## Here are the 4 steps: - Recognize - Alllow - Investigate - Nurture ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/canstockphoto87705707.jpg) ### R. recognize **R – Recognize what is happening** In this first step, stop what you are doing. Focus on what the “weather” looks like on the inside. Notice what is affecting, disturbing, or challenging. It could be a thought, action, behavior, or feeling that comes to mind. ## A. Allow **A – Allow the experience to be there** The second step in R.A.I.N. is to allow whatever came up in the first step to simply exist. Though you might want to push it away or try to control the thought or feeling, try to simply notice its existence without taking any action toward it. We may not agree with it, but it is just another thought, and we allow it to just be there. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/canstockphoto1214860.jpg) ## I. Investigate **I – Investigate with Kindness (Interest/Care)** In the third step, we can investigate what has come up in the first two steps. Once you are aware of thought or feeling, prioritize what to investigate first. Begin to arrange the thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and sensations in their order of importance. Once you have your list, then apply self-compassion to investigate that notion without any judgment. How we approach the thought must come from a place of safety and compassion. Be curious as to why you may have that thought or feeling. Critical attitudes can sabotage this process. The best way to apply kindness is to be honest in that [safe space](https://www.dochaspsych.com/blog-defining-your-safe-space-what-does-safe-space-mean/) we have created for ourselves. ## N. Nurture **N – Nurture with Self-Compassion** This is the fourth and most important step. Intentionally nurture yourself by providing kindness and self-compassion towards the thoughts, emotions, or ideas recognized in the first steps. It may not feel natural and, in fact, can often feel awkward speaking to oneself with such kindness, especially when this is the first time practicing self-compassion. When we apply kindness to our hurt or broken state of being, and are doing so intentionally, there is a sense of connection we are making from mind to body. The method overrides the brain’s natural tendencies (or learned critical practices) in a way that helps us better ride out the storms that come our way. ## Make it through the Rain… Next time you are expecting troubling thoughts, think of Mariah Carey singing “I can make it through the RAIN”. Storms are inevitable, but we can be equipped and prepared to face what comes our way. Let us be more focused on self-compassion and consider letting R.A.I.N. guide us mindfully during future storms. At Fuller Life Family Therapy, we consider it a privilege to work alongside you on your journey. Please feel free to share this article with anyone who may find it helpful. [![Remember Rain](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Screen-Shot-2022-03-31-at-11.20.09-AM.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Screen-Shot-2022-03-31-at-11.20.09-AM.png) [![Riya Roney](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Fuller-Life-2018-Riya-Roney-2.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/riya/)Riya Roney, Therapist ## [Riya Roney, ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/riya/)Clinical Therapist Licensed Professional Counselor ## More Resources on Mindfulness ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/canstockphoto41512531-e1551141816974.jpg) [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/whats-the-weather-like-inside-you-mindfulness-for-kids-and-adults-alike/) ### What’s the Weather Like Inside You? Mindfulness for Kids and Adults Alike ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Manpolejumping.jpg) [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-movement-exercise-mental-health/) ### Mindful Movement: The Cutting Edge of Exercise and Mental Health ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/creative-mindfulness.jpg) [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/add-flavor-to-mindfulness-with-color-and-music/) ### Add Flavor to Mindfulness with Color and Music? ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/canstockphoto8452676-e1566422238582.jpg) [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-eating-2/) ### Enjoy the foods you love AND be healthy: Mindful eating ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/ocean-joy.jpg) [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-power-of-beautiful-spaces/) ### Healing Practices: The Healing Power of Beautiful Spaces ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Chocolate-Therapy-e1391256868829.jpg) [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/chocolate-therapy/) ### Chocolate Therapy ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Fuller-Life-2018-Riya-Roney-2.jpg) Riya Roney Clinical Therapist I hold a Master of Arts in Professional Counseling from Dallas Baptist University. My training and education have prepared me to work with children, adolescents, teens, young adults, adults, as well as couples and families. I have also completed a comprehensive Online Therapy Training and have been certified to conduct telehealth. I am trained in Somatic EMDR and work with individuals and couples with trauma, mindfulness practices, and emotional regulation. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor and a Graduate of Fuller LIfe holding a Post-Graduate certificate in Marriage and Family Therapy. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/riya-roney/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/riya-roney/) Mental Health Mindfulness EMDR Anxiety Emotion Regulation Counseling [ ![social network icon](data:image/svg+xml;base64,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) ](https://www.linkedin.com/in/riya-v-050269161/) **Categories:** Anxiety Issues, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Awareness, Self-Care Practices, Stress Management **Tags:** anxiety, compassion, mindfulness, mindfulness practice, self-care --- ### [Sex Positivity: Black Female Sexual Expression is Not Hypersexual or Shameful](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-positivity-black-female-sexual-expression-is-not-hypersexual-or-shameful/) **Published:** February 27, 2023 **Author:** Dr. Chantail Green **Excerpt:** Sex-positivity is an open and nonjudgmental approach to embracing the diversity of sexual expression and sex health. **Content:** Black women have been sexually objectified as lustful and hypersexual. The stereotypical hypersexual image of Black women is a tiny waist, big breasts, and a large butt. We still see it on TV, in movies, and in music videos. Society and the media are finally beginning to give way to sex positivity for the Black female. These stereotypes of Black female sexuality began many years before slavery and prior to television and movies. Black women are reclaiming their erotic power by removing shame and being encouraged to shatter the silence. ## **Sarah Baartman Dehumanization** It was insulting when the New York Times compared [Kim Kardashian](https://time.com/3586176/kim-kardashian-saartjie-baartman/) to an enslaved Black woman who was tortured, [Saartjie “Sarah” Baartman.](https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-35240987) Later, the [New York Times apologized](http://www.revelist.com/internet/nyt-sarah-baartman-kim-kardashian/7848) for the comparison after facing intense backlash. Kim Kardashian “lives a lavish and privileged lifestyle” when Sarah Baartman was “forced to perform in freak shows” (NYT, 2017). Baartman was enslaved and placed on public display as a freak show for White Western Europeans of all ages. Her body became the subject of scientific curiosity and erotic projection. [ABC News article](https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-11-17/stuff-the-british-stole-sarah-baartman-south-africa-london/100568276) gave insight into how Baartman was marketed with flyers shouting, “Come and see the Hottentot Venus for two shillings.” Baartman was put in a tight costume designed to make her look naked. Dr. Natasha Gordon-Chipermbere has been a professor of African Diasporic Literature for over 20 years and teaches at Pennsylvania State University. She says, “It was the mystery of her sex \[and\] sexuality, and its perceived perverseness, which drew people in to watch the show” and “Women were really anxious that their men were going to be lowered into wanting this sort of exotic, hyper-sexual African woman.” Adding insult and disgrace to Baartman, some of her body parts were kept on display after her death. [Professor Pamela Scully](https://plone.unige.ch/art-adr/cases-affaires/sarah-baartman-2013-france-and-south-africa) said anatomist George Cuvier dissected Baartman’s body after her death, “…not an autopsy to find out why she died. The purpose of dissecting Baartman’s body was to find a link between the ape and the human. Parts of her genitals were preserved, and a full body cast of Baartman was made and displayed in the Paris Musee de l’Homme, which was displayed for 150 years until 1974. ## **No More Labels** Young Black women are sometimes labeled “Fast” or “[Womanish](https://today.emerson.edu/2019/03/12/wlps-kim-mclarin-on-being-womanish/).” “Fast” is pronounced, “Fass.” Being labeled as “Fast” or a “[Fast Tail Girl](chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https:/dukespace.lib.duke.edu/dspace/bitstream/handle/10161/16717/Fast%20Tailed%20Girls.pdf?sequence=1)” in the Black community feeds into the hypersexual stereotype mentioned above. Womanish is another name meant to be shameful. It is an expression that a mother or older female would say to younger females. “You are acting womanish!” Using the word is an insult meant to shame the young females into stopping acting beyond their years as adult women or being forthright with their words. [Natasha Crooks wrote an article](https://bmcwomenshealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12905-022-01644-x) called “Being Fast or Cautious? Sociocultural conditions influencing the sexual pathways of Black females in the United States.” A survey of 249 Black women indicated that women aged 18-34 were more likely to endorse the modern-day Jezebel stereotype than those 55 and over. Crooks and her colleagues believe that the cultural label “Jezebel” sends a message of shame in sexual exploration and silences young Black girls. It makes them less likely to communicate about sexual health and increases the risk of sexually transmitted infections. ## **Black Female Sex Positivity Sex-positivity is an open and nonjudgmental approach to embracing the diversity of sexual expression and sex health. Sex is a vital aspect of our lives, and for it to be clouded in stigma, shame, and judgment is sex negativity. The [sex-positivity](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex-positive_movement) movement respects and honors consensual and safer sex and the multiple facets of human sexuality as natural and empowering experiences. Many Black women have a complex history of sexual oppression, from the rape of enslaved ancestors to modern-day double-gender standards. We must make spaces for conversation and affirmation. ## **Sex-positive examples** [![Confident Black Woman](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/canstockphoto35889285-300x207.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/canstockphoto35889285.jpg) ## Examples of sex positivity may include: - placing your sexual health as a priority - learning and enjoying the sensations in your body - exploring your fantasies with your spouse or partner - communicating your sexual wants and needs - developing a positive relationship with your body and body image - setting healthy [sexual boundaries](https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-are-personal-boundaries-how-do-i-get-some#how-to-set-boundaries) with yourself and others - advocating for your sexual health, using safer sex practices when needed - addressing unhealthy sexual patterns, such as compulsive or impulsive behaviors - accepting the consensual sexual behavior of others rather than judging - supporting comprehensive sex education in schools, churches, and the community [![Chantail Green](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Chantail-Green-FL-Headshot-e1630912730614-edited.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/chantailgreen/)Chantail Green, Clinical Therapist ## [Dr. Chantail Green](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/chantailgreen/)[,](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/riya/) Clinical Therapist Licensed Professional Counselor Certified Sex Therapist with AASECT ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Chantail-Green-FL-Headshot-e1630912730614-edited.jpg) Dr. Chantail Green Clinical Therapist [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/chantail-green/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/chantail-green/) Sex Therapy Relationships Couples Therapy **Categories:** Counseling **Tags:** African Americans, Black Female, counseling, intimacy & sex, sex, sex education, Sexuality --- ### [Foreplay 101: What to Know to Get the Juices Flowing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/foreplay-101-what-to-know-to-get-the-juices-flowing/) **Published:** June 11, 2022 **Author:** Dr. Chantail Green **Excerpt:** Foreplay is the erotic stimulation of the mind, body, and soul before sexual intercourse. Foreplay is not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am sexual encounter, quick sex without affection. Sex play enhances and provides sexual arousal, which could lead to orgasm.  **Content:** **Read with caution: This blog provides sexual content and educational subject matter. Read at your discretion.** The group [Mtume](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mtume) released an album back in the day entitled *[Juicy](https://genius.com/Mtume-juicy-fruit-lyrics)*[ ](https://genius.com/Mtume-juicy-fruit-lyrics)*[Fruit](https://genius.com/Mtume-juicy-fruit-lyrics)*! Taste a few of the lyrics: > *“Candy rain Comin’ down, Taste you in my mind, And spread you all around; Here I am, Oh, this love’s for you…Hey, baby…Sweet as honeydew, Close my eyes…Oh, what fantasy, And you’re right here with me…Juicy….”* Foreplay is first a mindset and expectation of eroticism. The singer was able to fantasize about tasting her partner in her mind first. Hearing songs about foreplay was the only way some people learned about sexuality. Foreplay has been an intriguing aspect of sex for many years. Sexologist Dr. W.F. Robie wrote a book in 1924 entitled, [Sex and Life: What the Experience Should Teach and What the Inexperience Should Learn](https://books.google.com/books?id=gSy_DhtClngC&pg=PA169&lpg=PA169&dq=Dr.+Walter+Franklin+Robie+Sex+and+Life:+What+the+Experience+Should+Teach+and+What+the+Inexperience+Should+Learn&source=bl&ots=99SwB6TCfv&sig=ACfU3U0-JSdc3-hlGyULfnJrNMPd4ImLhw&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi2lI7tiIX1AhX9lmoFHbr9D1QQ6AF6BAgxEAM#v=onepage&q=Dr.%20Walter%20Franklin%20Robie%20Sex%20and%20Life%3A%20What%20the%20Experience%20Should%20Teach%20and%20What%20the%20Inexperience%20Should%20Learn&f=false). Dr. Robie’s thoughts and advice to husbands on the art of love and sex play toward their wives was expressed several hundred years earlier in a quote by Shakespeare from his poem Venus and Adonis: > “Kiss without shame, for she desires it, your wife’s lips, tongue, neck; and, as Shakespeare says: ‘If these founts be dry, stray lower where the pleasant fountains lie’…. Kiss her nipples, arms, and abdomen. Hold tenderly and manipulate softly her breasts, and delicately when she yields nestlingly, caress her nipples.” Now, tell me that does not get the juices flowing! Think about it! That is the point, to stimulate the mind and body to create eroticization. ## **What is Foreplay?** Foreplay is the erotic stimulation of the mind, body, and soul before sexual intercourse. Foreplay is not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am sexual encounter, quick sex without affection. Sex play enhances and provides sexual arousal, which could lead to orgasm. ## **Why is Foreplay Important?** Foreplay triggers a physical and emotional response in individuals preparing both mind and body for sexual intercourse. Sexplay gets the juices flowing by increasing sexual arousal. When blood flow to the genitals increases, it causes the vagina, labia, and clitoris to swell. Better stimulation leads to more natural lubrication and an increase in vaginal elasticity. Say bye-bye to dryness because the vagina’s natural lubrication “The Juices” increases, resulting in pleasure and less pain due to dryness. Foreplay levels the playing ground for both heterosexual and homosexual partners. Both men and women like to be aroused sexually either in thought and fantasy or by touching the erogenous zones. The erogenous zones are parts of the body that arouse sexual reactions when touched or stimulated, such as the breasts, thighs, back of the neck, etc. The three most hyper-sensitive parts of a woman’s body are the lips, nipples, and clitoris. The male body is very similar, with the lips, neck, and earlobes ranking top three super sensitive erogenous zones. Research shows foreplay helps females to reach orgasm along with erotic kissing and older males value extended foreplay leading to fewer sexual problems and greater sexual satisfaction. ## **When Should it Start?** Foreplay can start any time before sex, hours, or days before sex. It includes all positive gestures to let your partner know that you desire them sexually. Almost everything that one does positively can be foreplay. ## **How Long Should It Last?** I heard in a movie that foreplay was overrated; research says otherwise. Foreplay is more often underrated. Foreplay can last as long as the couple would like for it to last. Dr. Lindsey Doe, on her YouTube channel, [Sexplanations](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TGOSu9YuFc), says the longest average foreplay is in Britain, lasting up to 22.5 minutes. [![couple in bed](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Screenshot-2017-02-13-05.20.03-e1487047848922.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Screenshot-2017-02-13-05.20.03-e1487047848922.png) ## **Final Juicy Words** Men, acting on this juicy information will help you out significantly. When given a choice between foreplay, and intercourse, women revealed that foreplay was the most essential part of a sexual encounter. At the same time, men felt intercourse was the most critical part. Women also stated that they wanted to spend more time in foreplay and afterplay (cuddling, hugging, and pillow talking) than men. Come on, men, give her what she wants, and your chancing of erotic sex goes up. --- [![Chantail Green](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Chantail-Green-FL-Headshot-e1630912730614-edited.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/chantailgreen/)Chantail Green, Clinical Therapist ## Dr. [Chantail Green](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/chantailgreen/)[, ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/riya/)Clinical Therapist Licensed Professional Counselor ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Chantail-Green-FL-Headshot-e1630912730614-edited.jpg) Dr. Chantail Green Clinical Therapist [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/chantail-green/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/chantail-green/) Sex Therapy Relationships Couples Therapy **Categories:** Couples, Intimacy & Sex Therapy, Marriage, Sexual Education **Tags:** Foreplay, intercourse, sex, sexual education, Sexuality --- ### [Nothing Changes, if Nothing Changes](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/nothing-changes-if-nothing-changes/) **Published:** January 20, 2023 **Author:** Jayda Washington **Excerpt:** Do people really change? This is a question that often plagues people when considering counseling. Is it even worth trying? What does it take to change a mindset, a habit or behavior? **Content:** Do people really change? This is a question that often plagues people when considering counseling. Is it even worth trying? What does it take to change a mindset, a habit or behavior? According to researchers Prochaska and DiClemente there are six stages a person typically goes through in their journey towards change. If you are contemplating, or in the midst of change, read on to assess where you may be in the process. **Prochaska’s 6 Stages of Change** ## 1. Pre-contemplation In this stage, clients may find themselves repeating mistake after mistake, enduring hardship after hardship, and have yet to understand how they might be contributing to their life’s problems. They are often in denial or complete ignorance of their problems. ## 2. Contemplation During this stage, clients may have found themselves at a crossroads and have decided enough is enough. They have acknowledged that there may in fact be a problem but still have some uncertainty about what to do about it. ## 3. Preparation In this stage, clients begin to research what options are out there to help with their problem. They’ve found a list of counselors and have decided therapy, or a support group of some kind may be the best course of action. ## 4. Action During this stage, clients have decided to make a commitment to pursuing their researched resources and have met with a therapist and identified the areas they are wanting to change in order to reach their desired outcome. ## 5. Maintenance In this stage, clients have embarked on their journey towards change and have spent several months working with their therapist or have been part of a program working towards their desired goals. They have established a firm commitment and prepared for possible pitfalls. They have developed the appropriate coping skills and built a solid support system. ## 6. Relapse During this stage, clients may slip back into their old patterns of behavior and may display feelings of frustration, failure or disappointment. This stage allows clients the opportunity to strengthen and improve their skills, reassess how strong their support system is and increase their chances for lasting change. No matter where you are in the stages of change, it is never too late to try something different. Do not miss the opportunity to experience what could happen if you decided to do something different for a change. Keep visiting the Fuller Life blog website to read more on our upcoming blog about how to begin to make small changes that could shift the way you do life altogether. Resources: 1. Yeshiva University- 2. Social Work Tech- --- [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/FLHeadshot.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/jayda-washington/)Jayda Washington, Resident Therapist ## [Jayda Washington](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/jayda-washington/), Resident Therapist Licensed Professional Counselor Associate Under Supervision of [Amy Fuller PhD, LMFT-S, L](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/)PC-S, CST ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jayda-headshot-new-scaled-e1630912502692.jpg) Jayda Washington [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jayda-washington/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jayda-washington/) Mental Health Counseling EMDR Healing Trauma **Categories:** Counseling, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Problem Solving, Self-Awareness, transitions **Tags:** Behavior change, Change habits, Change is hard, How do you change?, Mindset change --- ### [Dialectical Behavior Therapy: From a Life of Misery to One Worth Living](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dialectical-behavior-therapy/) **Published:** June 29, 2023 **Author:** Harold Gibson **Excerpt:** Emotional Regulation skills help people manage their emotions, even though complete emotional control cannot be achieved. To a certain extent, people are who they are, however, people can learn to have more control. **Content:** We all struggle to manage our emotions. Our self-destructive behaviors get in the way and the result is often that we don’t have the relationships we desire. There’s a therapy called Dialectical Behavior Therapy with a focus on helping clients learn to tolerate and manage challenging emotions by growing in 4 skill areas. Most people have never heard the word ‘dialectical.’ Marsha Linehan, the creator of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) in the 1980s, and whose memoir is named “Building a Life Worth Living,” defines “dialectical” as an integration of opposites. In simpler terms, dialectical means two opposing things being true at once. But even that is still kind of confusing! ## What is Dialectical Behavior Therapy DBT is a broad-based cognitive behavioral therapy originally developed for suicidal clients and people with borderline personality disorder (BPD). It is useful for individual therapy, skills training, and phone consultations. It has a variety of interventions and is teachable, practical, and accessible to all levels of clinicians. DBT is applicable across various settings and client populations. #### Do you struggle to manage your emotions? DBT can help. DBT is useful with a variety of disorders for individuals who either over or under-control emotions. One of the main differences between under-controlled and over-controlled personalities is self-control. While under-controlled people can benefit from developing their ability to regulate and manage their behavior and emotions, people with over-controlled personalities may not benefit from those same coping strategies. Self-control can get in the way of people with over-controlled personalities. For instance, struggling to voice your opinion or enjoy a spontaneous night out might interfere with your relationships and living a fulfilling life. #### Four ways DBT can help you achieve a life worth living The goal of DBT is to help increase resilience and build a life experienced as worth living. This can be accomplished by helping individuals change behavioral, emotional, cognitive, and interpersonal patterns that cause problems in day-to-day living. In DBT, self-destructive behaviors are understood as maladaptive or inappropriate solutions for escaping from a life of misery. DBT consists of four modules: Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotional Regulation, and Distress Tolerance. ## Here are the 4 ways: - Mindfulness - Interpersonal Effectiveness - Emotional Regulation - Distress Tolerance ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/canstockphoto16014857-e1492020104966.jpg) ### 1. Mindfulness Mindfulness is about observing and experiencing reality as it is, being less judgmental, and living in the moment with effectiveness. They are the first skills taught, and they support all the other DBT skills. DBT mindfulness skills are translations of meditation practices from Eastern and Western spiritual traditions into specific behaviors that you can practice. No spiritual or religious convictions are expected or necessary for practicing and mastering these skills. ## 2. **Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills** Interpersonal Effectiveness helps one manage interpersonal conflicts effectively and maintain and improve relationships with other people (those you are close to, as well as strangers). These strategies include asking for what one wants, saying no to unwanted requests, and doing this in a way that maintains self-respect and keeps others liking you. It includes building relationships and ending destructive ones, helping to find potential friends, building relationships with friends, maintaining positive relationships with others, and (when necessary) ending destructive relationships. Learning to walk a middle path in a relationship, and balancing acceptance with change in self and relationships with others. ![Distress Tolerance](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/qtq80-gyCfiK-1024x683.jpeg) ## 3. **Emotional Regulation Skills** Emotional Regulation skills help people manage their emotions, even though complete emotional control cannot be achieved. To a certain extent, people are who they are, however, people can learn to have more control. In this module, the client learns to understand and name their emotions. Emotions serve important functions, and it can be hard to change an emotion if people don’t understand what it does for them. The client also learns to change their emotional responses. These skills can help reduce the intensity of painful or unwanted emotions, such as anger, sadness, or shame. ## 4. **Distress Tolerance Skills** The Distress Tolerance module helps people learn to tolerate and survive crises without making things worse. There are two main skill sets in this module. 1) techniques for tolerating painful events, urges, and emotions when you cannot make things better right away; 2) how to reduce suffering by helping you accept and enter fully into life even when it is not the life you want. For an example of an emergency distress tolerance exercise called S.T.O.P. Visit: DBT has been shown to be effective in multiple trials across several independent research sites. Do you love research? More on DBT and Marsha Lineham: - [Core Evidence and Research – Behavioral Tech](https://behavioraltech.org/research/%20Evidence/) - [What does dialectical even mean?](https://www.sheppardpratt.org/news-views/story/dbt-101-what-does-dialectical-even-mean/) - [Clevland clinic on DBT](https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/22838-dialectical-behavior-therapy-dbt) > [Home](https://depts.washington.edu/uwbrtc/) DBT is both effective in reducing suicidal behavior and cost-effective in comparison to both standard treatment and community treatments delivered by expert therapists. It is currently the gold-standard treatment for borderline personality disorder, a condition characterized by pervasive and difficult-to-manage emotion dysregulation. Search online for your nearest Certified DBT Therapist At Fuller Life Family Therapy, we consider it a privilege to work alongside you on your journey. Please feel free to share this article with anyone who may find it helpful. [![Harold's headshot](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/Harld-Gibson-Headshot-cropped-2-scaled.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/harold/) ## [Harold Gibson, Resident Therapist](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/harold/ "Harold Gibson, Resident Therapist") Licensed Professional Counselor Associate, LCDC-I Under the Supervision of [Amy Fuller PhD, LMFT-S, L](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/)PC-S, CST ## More Resources on Mindfulness ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/canstockphoto41512531-e1551141816974.jpg) [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/whats-the-weather-like-inside-you-mindfulness-for-kids-and-adults-alike/) ### What’s the Weather Like Inside You? Mindfulness for Kids and Adults Alike ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Manpolejumping.jpg) [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-movement-exercise-mental-health/) ### Mindful Movement: The Cutting Edge of Exercise and Mental Health ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/creative-mindfulness.jpg) [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/add-flavor-to-mindfulness-with-color-and-music/) ### Add Flavor to Mindfulness with Color and Music? ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/canstockphoto8452676-e1566422238582.jpg) [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-eating-2/) ### Enjoy the foods you love AND be healthy: Mindful eating ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/ocean-joy.jpg) [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-power-of-beautiful-spaces/) ### Healing Practices: The Healing Power of Beautiful Spaces ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Chocolate-Therapy-e1391256868829.jpg) [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/chocolate-therapy/) ### Chocolate Therapy ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/d0eb76d2988cdc42069b558041f9a036a8923e3ff2ec7237a007241c421b5c9f?s=300&r=g) Harold Gibson [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/haroldgibson/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/haroldgibson/) Mental Health Mindfulness **Categories:** Addiction & Recovery, Anxiety & Panic, Anxiety Issues, Bipolar, Counseling, Depression, Depression, Bipolar, Eating Disorders, Emotional Intelligence, Mental Health **Tags:** Communication, counseling, mental health, relationships, self-care, stress management --- ### [Working it out in the Sand: The Magic of Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/magic-sand-tray/) **Published:** November 8, 2022 **Author:** Dormetra Henry **Excerpt:** Sandtray can be used in all modes of therapy and is extremely effective for working through trauma. The use of sand helps clients move more deeply into their issues than regular talk therapy.  **Content:** ## What is sand tray therapy? What can be gained from using sand in therapy with clients? These may be some of the questions you may have when you hear “sand tray therapy”. Some people hear “sand tray therapy” and equate it with a form of therapy specifically for children. The truth is that it is for children, adolescents, adults, couples, families, and groups. Sandtray can be used in all modes of therapy and is extremely effective for working through trauma. The use of sand helps clients move more deeply into their issues than regular talk therapy. ## Who can benefit from sand tray therapy? The answer is everyone! It can be extremely helpful for clients who are introverted and tense, those who are hyperactive or may have hysterical tendencies, clients who over verbalize, those who rationalize or intellectualize, and those who are nonverbal. Often just picking up the sand or feeling the coolness of it can be self-regulating and help with moving through anxiety in order to open up and say things that may be hard to verbalize. Sandtray is especially helpful for working with adolescents for this reason. If a teen is shy, reserved, or cautious and not excited to talk in session, the action of presenting the sand and making space to just touch the sand often results in the teen opening up and sharing what they may be experiencing. Some people over-verbalize as a defense mechanism. The use of sand may allow them to slow down and not have the need to come up with the right thing to say. In this instance, the incorporation of the sand tray can allow this type of client to create a world in the tray and this will circumvent the need to have all the right things to say and see their world and expound upon it. Is the sand tray magical? Of course not, but the ability to have the option to speak or not speak and create your world in the sand is extremely impactful and cathartic. ## How does Sand tray therapy work? Initially, the therapist will explain the process to the client if they are not familiar with this form of therapy. The therapist would then introduce the various miniatures to the client as there are several different categories such as: - People - Animals - Buildings - Transportation - Vegetation - Fences/Gates/Signs - Natural Items - Fantasy - Spiritual/Mystical - Household Items - Miscellaneous Items (i.e., drugs, alcohol, spatulas, etc.) --- [![FL play figurines](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/Play-figurines-FL-1-768x1024.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/Play-figurines-FL-1.png) Using various miniatures, clients are prompted by the therapist to create their world in the sand based on the prompt. This action gives the client the autonomy to be open and shows their world from their perspective. The process of choosing the miniatures alone is liberating for some clients, allowing them to see themselves or others through a representation of the self. They could have the miniatures talk to one another which gives them room to express themselves and create new possibilities for how to address difficult topics or individuals. The result can be a wonderfully refreshing experience for some, a freeing experience for others, and for some, a way to see their world as it is and how it might look if they changed some things. Sandtray therapy is effective in allowing clients to not only see their world or their situation in new light but also have the ability to see themselves and what they bring to their world. If you have never given sand tray therapy a try, consider it. You do not have to be experiencing extreme trauma in order to for it to be effective. Sandtray therapy can be helpful to all clients young and old. Read more about [Sand Tray Therapy](https://southernsandtray.com/) ![Dormetra Henry](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Dormetra-Henry-Headshot-Fuller-LIfe-Family-Therapy-984x1024.jpg)Dormetra Henry, Resident Therapist ## [Dormetra Henry](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dormetrahenry/) LPC Licensed Professional Counselor Dormetra is a Certified Sand Tray Therapist through Texas State University and specializes in the use of sand in therapy with children, adolescents, and adults. ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Dormetra-Henry-Headshot-Fuller-LIfe-Family-Therapy.jpg) Dormetra Henry Clinical Therapist [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/dormetra-henry/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/dormetra-henry/) Play Therapy Mental Health Sand Therapy EMDR Divorce, Separation, Blended Families Couples Therapy Parenting **Categories:** ADD-ADHD, Adolescents & Children, Child Abuse (Safety), Counseling, Depression, Bipolar, Play Therapy, Social Skills **Tags:** child therapy, creative therapy, Play Therapy, sandtray --- ### [Fa-la-la-la-blah! Beating the Holiday Blues](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/beating-the-holiday-blues/) **Published:** December 17, 2019 **Author:** 1-Stephanie Jordan **Content:** The holiday season taunts itself as “the most wonderous time of the year,” but is it really? For some, the holidays are not always joyous and festive; rather, they are a challenging and emotional time of year for various reasons. An array of stressors, such as lack of time, financial worries, over-commercialization, and gift giving, along with the demands of parties, shopping, entertaining, and family get-togethers, may cause a wide range of emotions. These demands and stressors may produce feelings of sadness, depression, anxiety, loneliness, and grief during this time of year, commonly referred to as the “holiday blues.” Below are a few questions for personal reflection with suggestions to help combat and balance the effects of “holiday blues.” ## **Gratitude or Grievance?** It depends on a person’s feelings and what they dread or welcome. On the one hand, feeling grateful, appreciating others, or showing kindness to one another seems easy and natural during this time of year. However, on the other hand, complaints, resentments, and gripes are also a real possibility. Consider these two questions: - What is one thing you are feeling in anticipation of the holiday? - What are you most/least looking forward to about this holiday? ***Tip:** One’s state of mind determines whether they feel gratitude or aggrieved. How a person makes meaning from what they anticipate will happen during the holiday season, whether positive or negative, can affect how they identify with and experience the holidays. Stay calm, gather your thoughts, and make a plan that will help minimize foreseeable challenges.* ## **Dealing with disappointments** Alas, the best laid plans… Everyone has their own idea about what they want to happen during the holidays. Therefore, when things do not go as expected, misunderstandings and disappointment can result. Then what? Ponder this question: - What is one thing that you always hoped would happen but never does, and how are you going to handle it this year? ***Tip:** It is important to choose the right attitude and understand that, unfortunately, life is not perfect, and neither are the holidays. Try managing expectations to avoid feeling overly disappointed. Recognize mistakes are bound to happen, regardless of how well things are planned. Try not to expect people to change. Seek compromise whenever possible, find forgiveness, and simply let things be.* ## **The true meaning of the holiday season** Over-commercialism tends to undermine the meaning of the holiday season. Year-after-year sensationalized Christmas TV commercials, along with Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales, can diminish the true spirit of Christmas. To keep perspective this Holiday season, reflect on this question: - This year I will remind myself the importance of \_\_\_\_\_\_. > ***Tip:** Excessive commercialism can often spoil the true meaning of Christmas. Take time out to personally reflect on why Christmas is celebrated. Remember what is most important. Choose to hold on to these things during this holiday season.* While the holiday blues are a real phenomenon, remember these feelings are temporary. Take meaningful action to move through whatever emotions, attitude, and state-of-mind the season brings. Find ways to make Christmas a special day for the right reasons. Keeping context in perspective will help with finding gratitude and hope. Holding on to these things can help make the holiday’s the most wonderous time of the year. Happy Holidays from the Fuller Life family! [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Stephanie-Headshot-300x229.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Stephanie-Headshot.jpg) [Stephanie Jordan](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/stephanie-jordan/), LPC ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Stephanie-Jordan-LPC-headshot-e1649525396344.jpeg) 1-Stephanie Jordan [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/stephaniejordan/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/stephaniejordan/) Mental Health Healing Trauma EMDR Couples Therapy Counseling **Categories:** Anxiety Issues, Emotions and Relationships, Gratitude, Grief, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Self-Care Practices, Stress Management **Tags:** Christmas, holiday blahs, holiday blues, holiday season, meaning of the Holiday, self care --- ### [Premarital Therapy: For a Holly Jolly Relationship](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/premarital-therapy-for-a-holly-jolly-relationship/) **Published:** December 24, 2019 **Author:** 1-Elisa Squier **Content:** It’s that time of year. The weather is getting cooler, the holidays are approaching, and for many that means taking that next step in their relationship. If you’re thinking about giving a ring for Christmas, it might be time to make sure your relationship is as cozy as the holidays. A common misconception is that therapy is only for people who have “major” problems they need to work through. Some couples believe that they only need to speak with a professional when at least one of them starts throwing around the word divorce. That doesn’t have to be the case! Therapy can be helpful at all different stages of the relationship. A couple might decide that they want to start thinking about marriage, but maybe haven’t had those important conversations about what married life might look like. This is where premarital therapy can help any couple start off on the right foot. ### **What is Premarital Therapy** Premarital therapy can come in many different styles. There are several different types of structured programs, such as the Prepare Enrich program or the Preparation and Relationship Enhancement Program (PREP). Many times, these programs involve doing an assessment before the sessions to look at the main areas of a relationship, such as finances, attachment styles, and communication. The assessments highlight areas of strength, as well as areas of growth. Through work with a therapist, the couple can learn to build on what they are already doing well together, while talking through the areas where there might be disagreement or uncertainty. There are also less formal styles that rely solely on conversations rather than assessment tools. This is geared more towards couples who may have a particular concern that has already popped up. Premarital talk therapy is just as also effective. It just depends on what the couple is looking for. ### **Benefits of Premarital Therapy** Many times, couples start off a relationship thinking that it’s perfect. People don’t tend to get married thinking it will end in divorce. Many people think they don’t need to talk about what hasn’t happened yet, sometimes afraid it might lead to a fight that didn’t need to happen. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” However, this may lead to anger and frustration in the future as things come up that couples thought they were on the same page about, but never actually discussed. communicated about. By having conversations related to all areas of the relationship, the couple can begin to lay a solid foundation for a relationship that can survive whatever curveballs life throws. It is so much easier to talk through potential conflicts while you’re still happy and in love, than when you’re angry and hurt. As an added bonus for engaged couples, the completion of a program through “[Twogether in Texas](https://twogetherintexas.com/UI/HomePage.aspx)” can earn them a discount on their marriage license. ### **How to Get Started** There are many places that offer the structured premarital programs. Be aware that not all facilitators of these programs are licensed therapists, so be picky when choosing a place program. Visit the websites and read the bios of the people you might be interested in. Look at their experience and areas of expertise. Think about what kind of support your relationship might need, and choose a facilitator appropriately suited for that. Your relationship deserves the best. Many of our therapists at Fuller Life do premarital therapy, both structured programs and regular talk therapy. [Elisa Squier](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/elisasquier/) and [Tamara Tatum](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tamaratatum/) are both registered Prepare/Enrich facilitators and are accepting new clients. Give you and your partner the gift you both deserve this holiday season: a happy, healthy relationship to last the seasons of life. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Elisa-Headshot-300x285.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Elisa-Headshot.jpg) Contributed by [Elisa Squier, M.MFT, LMFT Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/elisasquier/) Clinical Supervision by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/Elisa-Headshot.jpg) 1-Elisa Squier [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/elisasquier/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/elisasquier/) **Categories:** Couples, Premarital, Relationships **Tags:** couples, engagement, marriage, premarital therapy, prepare/enrich, relationship --- ### [The unexpected reality of intimate partner violence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/intimate-partner-violence/) **Published:** February 16, 2020 **Author:** Terry Hoisington **Content:** Sometimes relationships are surprising and perplexing. What begins as an ideal match in the eyes of others, can be a disappointing world of nightmares. When this relationship with an intimate partner appears different in public than it is in private, it may be time to examine the direction that the relationship is growing into. How do you know when it is time to examine your relationship? One red flag is when the “ideal” relationship **only** exists in public. Sometimes, the private relationship is very different than the one shown to others. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/canstockphoto2915815-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/canstockphoto2915815-e1570818993228.jpg) ### **Is there reason for discomfort?** If examining the relationship brings definite feelings of discomfort, there may be valid reasons for that feeling. Consider the following points. Does your partner - try to control what you are doing, check your phone, e-mail or social media without your permission? - force you to have sex when you don’t want to? - attempt to control your birth control or perhaps insist that you become pregnant before you are ready? - decide what you wear or eat? - decide or how you spend money? - humiliate you in front of others? - prevent or discourage you from seeing or visiting with friends, or family? - unfairly accused you of being unfaithful. If you can answer yes to any one of these questions, you are likely experiencing domestic or intimate partner violence (IPV). IPV is sometimes difficult to identify. Many people have a reaction of *“Whoa, not me, my husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend loves me.”* Love is not just about romance though. It is about respect, and respect has no room for violence in any form. IPV is about control and abuse in any part of a person’s life. This control or abuse may be experienced in social activity, finances, religion and even sexual activity. What is helpful to understand is that IPV is very subtle and progresses over time. ### **What is Intimate Partner Violence?** Society tends to think of violence as being solely physical abuse. However, emotional abuse can be just as, or even more, damaging. IPV is a physical episode of being hit, beat, or pushed. It may be a situation of being blamed for a partner’s violent outbursts. It is important to realize that IPV is not limited to physical violence. Statements such as *“If I can’t have you, then no one can”* also qualifies as IPV. Verbal insults, humiliation and put-downs are also forms of IPV. It can also involve hurting or threatening someone’s children or pets. As defined by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, Intimate Partner Violence is > *“…violence or aggression that can vary in frequency and severity and occurs on a continuum ranging from one episode that might or might not have lasting impact, to chronic and severe episodes lasting over a period of years.”* The Center for Disease Control and Prevention tells us that IPV can be four types of behavior: - Physical violence is when a person hurts or even tries to hurt a partner by hitting, kicking or using any other type of physical force - Sexual violence is forcing or trying to force a partner to take part in a sex act, touching or sexting when a partner does not or cannot consent - Stalking is a pattern of repeated, unwanted attention/contact by that causes fear or concern for safety of self or someone close to the victim - Psychological/emotional abuse occurs when a person is verbally humiliated, shamed, controlled or isolated from family or friends ### What is emotional abuse? Emotional abuse often leads to any one of the other three types of IPV. It is far more subtle and less talked about since it leaves no scars on the outside. Emotional abuse can be just as damaging. Katie Ray-Jones, president of the National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH) stated in an interview with Cosmopolitan.com that one woman told her… > *“I can still hear his voice in my head.* *Even though I’ve been out of the relationship for three years, I still feel like I’m sitting there.*” Another individual relayed a similar experience indicating that trauma from emotional abuse was evidenced 10 years after the event. In many cases, the victim’s confidence, self-esteem and perception of their world are slowly undermined by the partner’s need to dominate or control. Counseling psychologist, Carmel O’Brien, Fellow of the Australian Psychological Society, says > *“…what comes across again and again is that there’s someone in the relationship who thinks that their views are more important, their needs have to come first, and they basically should be making the decisions and the other person should be toeing the line.”* ### **How does IPV impact its victim?** IPV does not discriminate! It can happen to anyone, anywhere, regardless of gender or sexual preference, economic status, religious, ethnic or cultural group. In whatever form it takes, IPV is never *OK*, and can result in consequences such as, but not limited to - poor physical health - depression and/or anxiety - trauma or posttraumatic stress - feelings of guilt or shame - low self-esteem or self-harm - an inability to trust others It is important to understand what IPV looks and feels like. Resources are available to find help when discomfort in a relationship occurs. If you or a person you know is involved in Intimate Partner Violence, please reach out for help. A few resources, both national and local, can be found below. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/canstockphoto58084820-300x199.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/canstockphoto58084820.jpg)[![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/canstockphoto19700289-300x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/canstockphoto19700289.jpg) #### **Resources to find help** The resources below are good places to start reaching out for help or to receive guidance: - [National Domestic Hotline](http://www.thehotline.org/what-is-live-chat/) – call 1-800-799-7233 or use the secure online chat in English or Spanish - [ACF’s (Administration for Children & Families) Family Violence Prevention and Services Program](https://www.acf.hhs.gov/fysb/programs/family-violence-prevention-services) administers the primary federal funding stream dedicated to the support of emergency shelter and related assistance for victims of domestic violence and their children. - [National Coalition Against Domestic Violence: State Coalition List](https://ncadv.org/need-help/state-coalitions) provides a directory of state offices that can help you find local support, shelter, and free or low-cost legal services. This includes all U.S. states, as well as the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands. #### **Find help in the Houston area:** - Bridge Over Troubled Waters (713)473-2801 in Pasadena, Texas – Provides residential shelter in a family atmosphere for women & children in crisis, as well as counseling and educational services - Family Time Crisis and Counseling Center (281)446-2615 in Tomball/Humble, Texas - Houston Area Women’s Center (713)528-2121 is a Hotline - Houston Area Women’s Center - Domestic Violence Hotline: (713)528-2121, Rape Crisis Hotline: (713)528-7273 - The Montrose Center (713)529-0037 on 701 Richmond Avenue, Houston, Texas77006 – Population: Lesbian, Gay & Bisexual and Transgender survivors of domestic violence can call the Gay & Lesbian Switchboard (713)529-3211 - The Montrose Counseling Center provides around the clock, scattered site emergency shelter for LGBT survivors of domestic violence, as well as transitional housing. Advocacy & counseling services also are available. - [Bay Area Turning Point ](http://www.bayareaturningpoint.org)Webster, Texas, (281) 286-2525 – Provides emergency shelter for battered women and children - Fort Bend Women’s Center located in Richmond, Texas, (281) 342-4357 Provides safe shelter for battered women and children (under 18 years of age). Counseling and referrals provided to shelter residents. - Houston Volunteer Lawyers (713) 228-0732 Provides pro-bono civil legal services, including family law, for low-income residents of Harris County who meet eligibility requirements. - Legal Line (713) 759-1133 Contributed by: [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/Terry-Hoisington-headshot-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/terry) [Terry Hoisington, LPC-Intern](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/terry-hoisington/) Under Supervision of [Amy Fuller PhD, LPC-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/Terry-Hoisington-headshot-e1525734907302.jpg) Terry Hoisington [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/terryhoisington/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/terryhoisington/) Relationships **Categories:** Couples, Domestic Violence, Marriage, Relationships, Trauma and Loss **Tags:** abuse, couples, Domestic Violence, intimate partner violence, trauma --- ### [Vicarious trauma: When we feel the pain of someone else's trauma](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/vicarious-trauma/) **Published:** May 21, 2020 **Author:** 1-Lindsay Perry **Content:** Being on the front line in times of crisis can be difficult and draining. For those in helping fields, these kinds of crises can be an everyday experience. When does it become too much to carry? How do we know when the stress goes from what’s expected from the work, we do to something that is significantly impacting our lives? If this feels familiar, you may be experiencing vicarious trauma or compassion fatigue. During this time when the world is experiencing a health crisis, is it possible to feel someone else’s trauma from the news stories we see? ## **What is vicarious trauma?** Vicarious trauma can be described as the direct or indirect exposure to someone else’s trauma that impacts one’s own physical and/or psychological well-being. This is also known as compassion fatigue or secondary trauma. Those who are in a helping or rescuing role are at risk for experiencing vicarious trauma. You may be thinking this sounds like burnout, but burnout can be described as workplace stress that impacts one’s physical or psychological well-being. The important difference here is that, unlike burnout, compassion fatigue involves being exposed to someone else’s trauma. In being exposed to someone else’s trauma, your life can be negatively impacted by what you’ve seen or heard in those helping or rescuing experiences. ## **Signs of compassion fatigue** We can start to understand whether our experience is workplace burnout or vicarious trauma by being aware of how we think, feel, and behave in our everyday life. There are multiple signs of dealing with compassion fatigue. These include, but are not limited to: - Physical exhaustion - Mental and emotional exhaustion - Insomnia - Nightmares - Use of or dependence on alcohol, drugs, or addictive behaviors - Lack of ability to empathize with others - Workaholism - Hyper-vigilance (constantly being worried about the safety of yourself and others) - Cynicism (a belief that everyone is acting out of self-interest and outlook of the world is bleak) - Anxiety (often feeling nervous, scared, or constantly thinking of things that could go wrong) - Depression (feeling numb, unmotivated, and exhausted) - Anger (getting easily angry to a degree that is inappropriate to the situation) ## **What if this is you?** Experiencing vicarious trauma can take a toll on your overall well-being, but there are things you can do to prevent and cope with it. ## **Contact Fuller Life Family Therapy** Here at Fuller Life Family Therapy, we have a group of trained professionals who can help individuals who are dealing with vicarious trauma. For more information, or to schedule an appointment, please email us at or call our main number (855) 245-5433. **Resources** [Good Therapy – Vicarious trauma](https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/vicarious-trauma) [Psychology Today – Vicarious trauma and the professional interpreter](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-about-trauma/201308/vicarious-trauma-and-the-professional-interpreter) [Psychology Today – When vicarious trauma victims suffer from PTSD](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-about-trauma/201910/when-vicarious-trauma-victims-suffer-ptsd) [Psychology Today – Trauma workers at risk for compassion fatigue](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-about-trauma/201507/trauma-workers-risk-compassion-fatigue) ![](https://secureservercdn.net/45.40.155.175/j41.ac9.myftpupload.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/LINDSAY-PERRY-HEADSHOT-e1550188893539.png?time=1590082150) Contributed by [Lindsay Perry, LPC Intern](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/lindsayperry/) Clinical supervision by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LINDSAY-PERRY-HEADSHOT-1-e1631302384595.png) 1-Lindsay Perry [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lindsayperry/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lindsayperry/) Mental Health EMDR Healing Trauma Relationships **Categories:** Counseling, Mental Health, Self-Awareness, Trauma and Loss **Tags:** compassion fatigue, mental health, self-awareness, trauma, vicarious trauma --- ### [Trauma in the Body](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/trauma-in-the-body/) **Published:** October 9, 2023 **Author:** Riya Roney **Excerpt:** According to Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk, trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust. **Content:** Trauma survivors are resilient. Having faced harsh realities in life they can function, despite the aftereffects of trauma. Despite this resilience, survivors are forever changed by trauma. According to Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk, trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, potentially compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust. It takes tremendous energy to continue functioning while carrying memories of terror or vulnerability. It is possible to face those traumas and heal through methods utilizing the mind, emotions, and the physical body. ## What is a trauma response? The part of the brain devoted to our survival overrides the rational side of the brain. Hence, the slightest hint of danger can mobilize disturbed brain circuits and secrete massive amounts of stress hormones. This can then have effects on physical emotions, such as unexpected anger, intense physical sensations, as well as impulsive or aggressive actions. ## What does the research say about trauma? Research reveals that trauma produces actual physiological changes. Trauma not only recalibrates the brain’s alarm system but also increases stress hormone activity altering the system that filters relevant information from irrelevant information. This is important to note as one may overreact or underreact to a situation due to not being able to assess the circumstance accurately. An example of this is when people who have PTSD diagnoses may react to a loud noise as a threat when there may not be actual danger present. ## The reality of trauma in the body Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies and develop a chronic vigilance for, and sensitivity to, threats. Post-traumatic stress has a physiological basis. It’s not necessarily all in one’s head. The symptoms have their origin in the body’s response to the original trauma. Another prominent symptom is the loss of mental flexibility. This can result in reduced creativity or imagination which is critical to the quality of our lives – imagination allows us to envision new possibilities. ## Clinicians combine 4 methods to treat those facing trauma-related difficulties: - Therapy - Medication - Mindfulness - Self Regulation ## 1. therapy When processing trauma, therapy is useful in allowing oneself to know and understand what is going on with themselves. Through therapy, the survivor can achieve agency. Agency is the feeling of being in charge of one’s life. Agency starts with our awareness of our subtle sensory, body-based feelings. The greater that awareness, the greater our potential to control our lives. Knowing what we are feeling is the first step toward knowing why we feel it. If we are aware of the constant changes in our inner and outer environment, we can better manage them. [![Trauma](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/trauma-canstockphoto45033175-1024x684.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/)Heal from trauma through individual therapy ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Medication-1024x683.jpg) ### 2. Medication - As a psychiatrist, Dr. Van Der Kolk, suggests that psychotropic medications can slow the triggers associated with the trauma by shutting down inappropriate alarm reactions. ## 3. **mindfulness** [Mindfulness](https://www.verywellmind.com/mindfulness-the-health-and-stress-relief-benefits-3145189) is a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations. Used as a therapeutic technique, mindfulness puts us in touch with the transitory nature of our feelings and perceptions. When we pay focused attention to our bodily sensations, we can recognize the ebb and flow of our emotions and increase our control over them. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/qtq80-MHJgqm-1024x508.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/qtq80-MHJgqm.jpeg) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/brain-1024x474.jpg) ## 4. **self Regulation** > Self-regulation is the ability to monitor and manage your energy states, emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in ways that are acceptable and produce positive results such as well-being, loving relationships, and learning. Self-regulation depends on having a healthy relationship with one’s body. At the core of recovery is self-awareness. Body awareness puts us in touch with our inner world. Noticing our feelings of annoyance, nervousness, or anxiety, immediately helps us shift our perspective and opens new options other than our automatic, habitual reactions. Van Der Kolk, B. A. (2015). [The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma.](https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=the+body+keeps+the+score&qid=1691693657&sr=8-1) Penguin Books. At Fuller Life Family Therapy, we consider it a privilege to work alongside you on your journey. Please feel free to share this article with anyone who may find it helpful. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Fuller-Life-2018-Riya-Roney-copy.jpg) ## [Riya Roney, Resident](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/harold/ "Riya Roney, Resident Therapist")[ Therapist](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/harold/ "Harold Gibson, Resident Therapist") Licensed Professional Counselor Associate, LPC-A Under the Supervision of [Amy Fuller PhD, LMFT-S, L](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/)PC-S, CST ## More Resources on Trauma ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/You-decide.jpg) [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-derailing-grief-process/) ### Are you “HEALING” or “DERAILING” your grief process? ![COMPASSION](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Three-hands-with-broken-heart-e1607730942822.jpg) [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/when-african-americans-grieve/) ### When African Americans Grieve ![Vicarious Trauma](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/canstockphoto23073220-e1590080791471.jpg) [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/vicarious-trauma/) ### Vicarious trauma: When we feel the pain of someone else’s trauma ![intimate partner violence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/fist-intimate-partner-violence.jpg) [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/intimate-partner-violence/) ### The unexpected reality of intimate partner violence ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/canstockphoto15167808.jpg) [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/hidden-grief/) ### Hidden Grief ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/canstockphoto4516655.jpg) [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/body-trauma-frozen-fully-living/) ### The Body and Trauma: From Frozen to Fully Living ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Fuller-Life-2018-Riya-Roney-2.jpg) Riya Roney Clinical Therapist I hold a Master of Arts in Professional Counseling from Dallas Baptist University. My training and education have prepared me to work with children, adolescents, teens, young adults, adults, as well as couples and families. I have also completed a comprehensive Online Therapy Training and have been certified to conduct telehealth. I am trained in Somatic EMDR and work with individuals and couples with trauma, mindfulness practices, and emotional regulation. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor and a Graduate of Fuller LIfe holding a Post-Graduate certificate in Marriage and Family Therapy. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/riya-roney/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/riya-roney/) Mental Health Mindfulness EMDR Anxiety Emotion Regulation Counseling [ ![social network icon](data:image/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMTYiIGhlaWdodD0iMTYiIHZpZXdCb3g9IjAgMCAxNiAxNiIgZmlsbD0ibm9uZSIgeG1sbnM9Imh0dHA6Ly93d3cudzMub3JnLzIwMDAvc3ZnIj4KPGcgY2xpcC1wYXRoPSJ1cmwoI2NsaXAwXzM0M185OTUpIj4KPHBhdGggZD0iTTE0LjgxNTYgMEgxLjE4MTI1QzAuNTI4MTI1IDAgMCAwLjUxNTYyNSAwIDEuMTUzMTNWMTQuODQzOEMwIDE1LjQ4MTMgMC41MjgxMjUgMTYgMS4xODEyNSAxNkgxNC44MTU2QzE1LjQ2ODggMTYgMTYgMTUuNDgxMyAxNiAxNC44NDY5VjEuMTUzMTNDMTYgMC41MTU2MjUgMTUuNDY4OCAwIDE0LjgxNTYgMFpNNC43NDY4NyAxMy42MzQ0SDIuMzcxODhWNS45OTY4N0g0Ljc0Njg3VjEzLjYzNDRaTTMuNTU5MzggNC45NTYyNUMyLjc5Njg4IDQuOTU2MjUgMi4xODEyNSA0LjM0MDYyIDIuMTgxMjUgMy41ODEyNUMyLjE4MTI1IDIuODIxODggMi43OTY4OCAyLjIwNjI1IDMuNTU5MzggMi4yMDYyNUM0LjMxODc1IDIuMjA2MjUgNC45MzQzNyAyLjgyMTg4IDQuOTM0MzcgMy41ODEyNUM0LjkzNDM3IDQuMzM3NSA0LjMxODc1IDQuOTU2MjUgMy41NTkzOCA0Ljk1NjI1Wk0xMy42MzQ0IDEzLjYzNDRIMTEuMjYyNVY5LjkyMTg4QzExLjI2MjUgOS4wMzc1IDExLjI0NjkgNy44OTY4NyAxMC4wMjgxIDcuODk2ODdDOC43OTM3NSA3Ljg5Njg3IDguNjA2MjUgOC44NjI1IDguNjA2MjUgOS44NTkzOFYxMy42MzQ0SDYuMjM3NVY1Ljk5Njg3SDguNTEyNVY3LjA0MDYzSDguNTQzNzVDOC44NTkzNyA2LjQ0MDYzIDkuNjM0MzggNS44MDYyNSAxMC43ODc1IDUuODA2MjVDMTMuMTkwNiA1LjgwNjI1IDEzLjYzNDQgNy4zODc1IDEzLjYzNDQgOS40NDM3NVYxMy42MzQ0VjEzLjYzNDRaIiBmaWxsPSIjNDM0OTYwIi8+CjwvZz4KPGRlZnM+CjxjbGlwUGF0aCBpZD0iY2xpcDBfMzQzXzk5NSI+CjxyZWN0IHdpZHRoPSIxNiIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxNiIgZmlsbD0id2hpdGUiLz4KPC9jbGlwUGF0aD4KPC9kZWZzPgo8L3N2Zz4K) ](https://www.linkedin.com/in/riya-v-050269161/) **Categories:** Counseling, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Awareness, Trauma and Loss **Tags:** mindfulness, self regulation, therapy, trauma --- ### [Peaceful Parenting - Because Punishment Is Not Enough](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/peaceful-parenting/) **Published:** September 23, 2014 **Author:** Scott Rampy **Content:** ![Parents and daughter](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Parents-and-daughter-300x221.jpg) Imagine for a moment being at home, with all of your family present, and finding peace. A couple is enjoying a nice conversation over a cup of coffee on a Saturday morning. Having eaten their breakfast and put their dishes away, the children are playing together on the floor in the living room surrounded by Legos, dolls, and action figures recreating a scene from the latest comic book flick. Peace. It isn’t just the absence of conflict but the presence of harmony. Perhaps this scene appears unrealistic. Maybe for another family it could happen but it is hard to imagine for your own. How could such a vision be realized? Nearly all parents seek to create peace, but what is the path to get there? Peaceful parenting recognizes peace is not just a goal to be reached but informs the parenting approach as well. Peacemaking is part of the strategy which creates peace. When peace is considered as the presence of harmony rather than just the absence of conflict, parents pursue peace by positively, constructively engaging with their children. Research by [Lori Roggman and associates](http://digitalcommons.usu.edu/fchd_facpub/215/)\* suggests that children’s early development is promoted by interactions with both mothers and fathers especially in the context of play. Peaceful parenting practices include parents: - On the floor playing with kids - Asking questions and exploring deeper in conversation - Modeling controlled emotion and self-composure - Utilizing appropriate touch with the kids - Reading to and with the kids - Sharing cultural values, family traditions, and beliefs - Demonstrating virtue - Communicating supportive messages - Balancing the use of “yes” and “no” responses Non-peaceful parenting practices include parents’: - Uncontrolled emotion - Not investing appropriate time and energy - Unbalanced criticism - Ambiguous or inconsistently enforced boundaries - Unpredictable or exaggerated consequences - Modeling values that conflict with the expectations for the child There is a serious and mistaken notion in American parenting culture that peace can be created by emphasizing the punishment of undesirable behavior. The other end of the spectrum tries to ignore misbehavior as long as possible until the parent cannot contain themselves any longer or something serious happens. Both of these approaches fail to appreciate that positive parental engagement is necessary for creating a peaceful foundation. When this is in place children have a desirable alternative to correct back toward after misbehavior. When a lack of peace and harmony is the norm, misbehavior fits right in. Peaceful parenting is not easy, especially when this was not a parent’s own childhood experience. Parenting is a skill that can be taught and learned – few people come by it naturally. For more resources on how to create harmony at home, check out the [Parenting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/counseling-families/) category of our blog. Another relationship-based parenting method recommended by Fuller Life Family Therapy is the [Nurtured Heart Approach](http://www.childrenssuccessfoundation.com/about-us/about-nurtured-heart-approach/) developed by Howard Glasser. The link provided includes a description and introductory video. For more in-depth guidance please feel free to consult one of our resident therapists and take advantage of their years of experience promoting healthy family and child development. \*[Roggman, L. A., Boyce, L. K., Cook, G. A., Christiansen, K., & Jones, D. (2004). Playing with daddy: Social toy play, early head start, and developmental outcomes. *Fathering,* 2(1), 83-108.](http://digitalcommons.usu.edu/fchd_facpub/215/) [![Scott Rampy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6829-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/scott-rampy/)[Scott Rampy, M.MFT, LMFT](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/scott-rampy/) Associate Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6829-e1631305127874.jpg) Scott Rampy [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) Mental Health Family Therapy Relationships Divorce, Separation, Blended Families **Categories:** Mindfulness Practice, Parenting, Self-Awareness, Self-Care Practices, Stress Management **Tags:** parenting, parenting strategy, peace, positive engagement --- ### [Trust Your Choices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/decisions-choices/) **Published:** September 8, 2012 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** Not a day goes by without the need to make decisions. Big and small. What am I going to eat? What do I want to wear? Do I take the kids to the park or play in the yard? Which high school? Which college? Which degree? Which job? Marriage? Decisions can begin to feel overwhelming. However, how we treat ourselves in the midst of making choices can reduce anxiety and decrease overwhelming feelings. **Self-Criticism is not a winning formula!** Some fall into the trap of trying to motivate themselves with judgmental, critical thoughts. “I should know what to do. Why does everyone else seem to have it all together? What is wrong with me? Why bother?” Think about a third grade teacher attempting to help a child learn by telling them, “You should know what to do. What’s wrong with you?” The teacher may be trying to motivate the child to work harder, but this kind of language de-motivates, while creating shame and disconnection. Self-criticism also turns on our body’s threat detection system: fight/freeze/flight. Part of the brain shuts down and goes into self-protective mode. **Worry: The hamster wheel of motivation.** Worries can stunt our ability to make decisions. When faced with a choice, we can get caught on the worry treadmill. “What ifs” make it scary to move forward. “What if there is a better school?” “What if I do not like my new boss?” “What if I mess up?” Worry has more to do with an unknown, uncontrollable future than being able to function in the present. We can become so focused on all the possible negative outcomes that we miss out on what is going on in the present moment: sites, smells, tastes, and even relationships. Like self-criticism, chronic worry turns on the brain’s threat detection system and the body goes into self-protective mode. We all worry from time to time, but it is good to remember that worrying does not help us get any closer to meeting our goals. **The Three Cs: Courage, Compassion & Connection** Current research ([Dr. Kristin Neff](http://www.self-compassion.org/), [Dr. Mark Williams, Dr. Danny Penman](http://franticworld.com/), [Dr. Dennis Tirch](http://mindfulcompassion.com/Mindful_Compassion_in_New_York/Welcome.html) and others) shows that compassion fosters the ability to face challenges in spite of fears and uncertainty. Compassion is connected with the attachment and nurturing system of the brain. Self-compassion soothes the threat detection system and opens up more areas of the brain so we have access to options and possibilities that help us move forward gently. The three Cs originate with [Dr. Brené Brown](http://www.brenebrown.com/) and have been expanded upon here (Brown, 2007): **Courage** – We gain the courage to approach challenging decisions when we practice compassion with ourselves in the process. **Compassion** – “How we develop the courage and the strength to engage with and deal with those things that are difficult for us to do.” (Tirch, 2012) **Connection** – Seek support from others, seek out those who have made similar decisions, and trust yourself to make the best decision for you. (More on decision making processes in my next blog). **Tools**: - Become aware. If you struggle to make decisions, notice what you are saying to yourself. If you are self-critical, know this is a habit that can be broken. Don’t beat yourself up. We all do it from time to time. - For those who grew up or live in judgmental or critical settings, self-compassion can be challenging at first. To begin the process, think of someone you love or a beloved pet. If they were in a similar situation, how would you comfort and help them through this situation. Write down phrases and ideas on 3×5 cards and apply to self. This really works by turning on more areas in the brain! - Break it down! Breaking big decisions into tiny pieces is gentler with the brain, and keeps the threat-detection system at bay. “By taking steps so tiny that they seem trivial or even laughable, you’ll sail calmly past obstacles that have defeated you before. Slowly—but painlessly!—you will cultivate an appetite for continued success and lay down a permanent new route to change.” (Maurer, 2004). If you seek a place to heal from judgment and criticism from self or others, or a place where you learn compassion for yourself, please contact Fuller Life Family Therapy. We can work together to create more connection and acceptance in your daily life. [Brown, Brené (2007). I *Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): Making the Journey from “What Will People Think?” to “I Am Enough.*“](http://www.amazon.com/dp/1592403352/?tag=hyprod-20&hvadid=15473565099&hvpos=1o1&hvexid=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=567088473161922346&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&ref=asc_df_1592403352) [Maurer, Robert (2004). *One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way.*](http://www.amazon.com/Small-Step-Change-Your-Life/dp/0761129235) [Tirch, Dennis, (2012). The *Compassionate-Mind Guide to Overcoming Anxiety: Using Compassion-Focused Therapy to Calm Worry, Panic, and Fear.*](http://mindfulcompassion.com/Mindful_Compassion_in_New_York/Book.html) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg) Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Anxiety & Panic, Compassion, Self-Awareness, Self-Care Practices, Self-Validation (affirmations) **Tags:** acceptance, anxiety, boundaries, compassion, decisions, self-care --- ### [Covered in Red: How the Brain Uses Anger to Hide Pain](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-the-brain-uses-anger-to-hide-pain/) **Published:** November 7, 2017 **Author:** Shani Bell **Content:** Thats it! You have had enough. Someone around you has done the very thing you hate. Almost immediately, you see red. Or maybe the anger slowly brews and builds rage over a long period of time. What is really happening underneath the anger? Some mental health professionals refer to anger as a [secondary emotion](https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-anger-iceberg/). According to [Dr. Harry Mills](https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/psychology-of-anger/), anger is the emotion we are most aware we are experiencing. However, anger usually just hides the presence of deeper and less comfortable emotions like sadness, guilt, embarrassment, hurt, fear, etc. ### **The Anger Umbrella** If umbrellas are protective devices that we use to shield ourselves from exposure to the elements, then we can see anger in a similar way. Anger can seem like an exhibition of power, potentially making a threatening presence back away. It can be loud, volatile and tense. Clinical and forensic psychologist, [Dr. Steven Diamond](https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evil-deeds/200901/the-primacy-anger-problems) explains that this can be very useful in the face of a true threat. Suppose an attacker lunges at you and you have nowhere to go. Anger would propel you into defense mode much more than fear, possibly saving your life. But what anger can also do is shield others and sometimes ourselves from seeing the pain, embarrassment or other more vulnerable emotions that exist underneath. If your friend or spouses actions have triggered hurt for you and you believe feeling hurt may show weakness, being mad is likely to step in to try to ensure that no one takes advantage. ### Anger and the brain Interestingly, the brain moves us very quickly from these primary emotions to anger. It can happen so fast that we hardly even notice the switch unless we are aware enough to do some reflective backtracking. [Dr. Seltzer](https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/200807/what-your-anger-may-be-hiding) describes how the brain releases the hormone, norepinephrine, into the bloodstream to numb mental or physical pain during a mad response. **Basically, the brain uses anger to hide pain.** ### **The Truth Shall Make You Free** Why is it important to expose the truth behind your anger? Because dealing with the root issue is much more effective than simply managing the anger symptoms. Oftentimes, in sessions with clients, I find that anger dissolves once the actual emotions behind them are identified. I can visibly see anger give way to the revelation of sadness or embarrassment. Once the client is honest about his thoughts and feelings, he is better able to process and heal from the root issue. ### **Steps for Unmasking Anger** The next time you recognize yourself responding in anger, try working through the following steps: 1. **What thoughts are connected to the anger?** Suppose you are angry with your partner about not spending time with you. You may be thinking, He doesn’t *want* to spend time with me which may lead to the thought, He doesn’t think Mi worth spending time with. 2. **What other feelings come up?** When you identify [the thoughts](https://healthypsych.com/psychology-tools-what-is-anger-a-secondary-emotion/) connected with the anger, you can then work through the deeper emotions connected to the thoughts. Take a moment to sit with the thought. Maybe you can journal about it. For instance, if you say to yourself, my partner doesn’t think that I’m worth spending time with. This may uncover feelings of sadness, hurt or low self-worth from beneath the irritation. 3. **What do I do with what I have?** Now that the thoughts and emotions within the anger have been identified, it is time to work through them and decide how you can respond in a way you value. Having new information about how you are thinking, and feeling might give rise to new issues that need to be addressed. In the example above, you realize your belief is your partner does not think you are worth spending time with and this is connected to feelings of hurt and low self-worth. This enables you to talk with your partner from a more self-aware position and potentially improves understanding. Also, You could also talk to yourself about your beliefs. Take time to consider how you determine your self-worth and if it is healthy. ### Living Life Uncovered You might notice that developing a habit of hiding painful emotions leads to habitual rage. Such a lifestyle of anger destroys relationships and creates bitterness. Have the courage to allow yourself to own the truth of your experience. Otherwise, holding onto hostility can keep you stuck. There is a time and a place for anger to be expressed in healthy ways. Stay tuned for the follow-up to this blog to find out what healthy anger looks like. Additional Resources: https://blogs.psychcentral.com/humor/2012/06/using-anger-constructively-an-angry-bird-philosophy [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Shani-Bell-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-300x220.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shanibell/) Contributed by [Shani Bell, MAAT, LPC-Intern](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shanibell/) Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S See these articles about anger: [![self-kindness nurturing your inner adult](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/21-300x214.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-kindness/)#### [The Self-Kindness Your Inner Adult Deserves](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-kindness/) Most of us have said things to ourselves we'd never say to a friend. "Get it together." "Stop being so ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-kindness/) [![how to grow strong relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Tree-image-for-grow-relationships-blog-300x169.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/strong-relationships-solid-self/)#### [What It Takes to Grow Strong Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/strong-relationships-solid-self/) Strong relationships don’t grow by accident. They don’t grow from more empathy, better conflict strategies, or even better communication skills ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/strong-relationships-solid-self/) [![Person underwater with eyes open, representing self-awareness and the effort of staying awake rather than avoiding inner experience.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/evelyn-verdin-Z543CMKt5o0-unsplash-300x225.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-awareness-staying-awake/)#### [Self-Awareness: How Your Survival Instincts Keep You Asleep](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-awareness-staying-awake/) Most of us don’t realize we’ve fallen asleep until something jolts us awake. It might be snapping at someone we ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-awareness-staying-awake/) - [1](#) - [2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=2&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) - [3](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=3&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) - […](#) - [38](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=38&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) - [›](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=2&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) ![Loading...](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhDwAPALMPAMrKygwMDJOTkz09PZWVla+vr3p6euTk5M7OzuXl5TMzMwAAAJmZmWZmZszMzP///yH/C05FVFNDQVBFMi4wAwEAAAAh+QQFCgAPACwAAAAADwAPAAAEQvDJaZaZOIcV8iQK8VRX4iTYoAwZ4iCYoAjZ4RxejhVNoT+mRGP4cyF4Pp0N98sBGIBMEMOotl6YZ3S61Bmbkm4mAgAh+QQFCgAPACwAAAAADQANAAAENPDJSRSZeA418itN8QiK8BiLITVsFiyBBIoYqnoewAD4xPw9iY4XLGYSjkQR4UAUD45DLwIAIfkEBQoADwAsAAAAAA8ACQAABC/wyVlamTi3nSdgwFNdhEJgTJoNyoB9ISYoQmdjiZPcj7EYCAeCF1gEDo4Dz2eIAAAh+QQFCgAPACwCAAAADQANAAAEM/DJBxiYeLKdX3IJZT1FU0iIg2RNKx3OkZVnZ98ToRD4MyiDnkAh6BkNC0MvsAj0kMpHBAAh+QQFCgAPACwGAAAACQAPAAAEMDC59KpFDll73HkAA2wVY5KgiK5b0RRoI6MuzG6EQqCDMlSGheEhUAgqgUUAFRySIgAh+QQFCgAPACwCAAIADQANAAAEM/DJKZNLND/kkKaHc3xk+QAMYDKsiaqmZCxGVjSFFCxB1vwy2oOgIDxuucxAMTAJFAJNBAAh+QQFCgAPACwAAAYADwAJAAAEMNAs86q1yaWwwv2Ig0jUZx3OYa4XoRAfwADXoAwfo1+CIjyFRuEho60aSNYlOPxEAAAh+QQFCgAPACwAAAIADQANAAAENPA9s4y8+IUVcqaWJ4qEQozSoAzoIyhCK2NFU2SJk0hNnyEOhKR2AzAAj4Pj4GE4W0bkJQIAOw==) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Fuller-Life-2018-Shani-Bell-LPC-ATR-copy-1-e1631304334456.jpg) Shani Bell [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) Art Therapy Mindfulness Anxiety **Categories:** Anger Management, Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Self-Awareness **Tags:** anger management, Communication, emotional intelligence, self-awareness, stress management --- ### [10 Ways Your (Mis)Perceptions of Therapy Are Holding You Back](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/10-misperceptions-effective-therapy/) **Published:** March 30, 2024 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** Are you getting the most out of your therapy sessions? An important component of effective therapy is understanding how therapy is supposed to work. Unfortunately, many people hold misperceptions about therapy that prevent them from fully benefiting from its potential. From confusing it with education or coaching to falling prey to common clichés, these misunderstandings can leave individuals feeling unfulfilled and dissatisfied with the therapeutic process. Therapy holds the power to transform lives. By unraveling these misconceptions, the true potential of therapy—a unique relationship engineered to catalyze meaningful change according to specific needs and desires—can be unlocked. These 10 shifts in understanding the potential of effective therapy can make all the difference in a more meaningful and impactful therapy experience. ###### Shift #1 ## **From a Safe Space to a Growth Space: Developing Resilience and Self-Compassion**. Therapy is not just a safe place. It’s about creating room for growth and change. While therapy does offer a secure environment, its primary role is to be a catalyst for personal growth. Growth occurs at the edge of our comfort zone, which doesn’t always feel “safe.” Additionally, effective therapy helps you move toward your pain, which may bring discomfort and fear. Therapy can be a “safe” space to explore critical life challenges, but therapy and the therapeutic relationship are primarily about growth in a way that facilitates resilience, self-compassion, and motivates one to a more empowered life. ![Woman in White Dress Shirt and Black Skirt Sitting on Gray Couch](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/woman-in-white-dress-shirt-and-black-skirt-sitting-on-gray-couch-4098224-1024x683.jpg) ![Man in Black Hoodie Sitting on Brown Couch](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/man-in-black-hoodie-sitting-on-brown-couch-4100420-683x1024.jpg) ###### Shift #2 ## **From Empathy to Compassion: Exploring Deeper Self-Awareness** Effective therapy goes beyond empathy to compassion in a way that helps a client(s) move toward what is true. Change is difficult for all of us, and an effective therapist is skilled at helping us move through our defenses and the ways we can self-sabotage. This process involves more than just understanding and reflecting on the clients’ feelings; it’s about guiding them toward a deeper self-awareness and acceptance. A therapist who helps a client move toward what is true with an honest, yet compassionate approach is a therapist who cares more about their client than about continued business. This means that sometimes a therapist cares enough to say something that might be challenging to hear but has the potential to facilitate the most significant change. #### SHIFT #3 ## **From Reducing to Tolerating Emotions: Building Emotional Resilience** Clients often come to therapy expressing their desire to no longer feel scared or anxious. However, therapy works best when the focus is not solely on reducing the difficult feeling; rather, it focuses on building tolerance and resilience with these challenging emotions. Through therapy, clients grow to understand and manage their emotions effectively, thereby fostering emotional strength to confront life’s challenges. Oftentimes the things that create challenging emotions are related to people or things that matter to us. For example, if a mom is struggling with worry about her child, it would be unrealistic for a mother to not worry, so therapy would support the mom in facing the worry so she can navigate the feelings better. --- ## Therapy is not about feeling better; ## it’s about getting better at feeling. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/qtq80-OmfTcb-1024x683.jpeg) ###### Shift #4 ## ****From External Validation to Self-Validation: Fostering a Strong Flexible Self**** Therapy is more than a place to have someone validate your feelings, rather, therapy is a place where one can learn to validate and name their feelings in a way that will strengthen self-respect. When a therapist repeatedly validates the client, they steal the client’s opportunity to learn how to find their voice of affirmation for themselves. This process fosters self-validation, empowering clients to know themselves, their thoughts, emotions, and what is important to them, potentially cultivating a strong sense of self. #### SHIFT #5 ## ****From Learning Tools to Self-understanding: Cultivating Lasting Change**** Effective therapy goes far beyond just learning coping tools; it’s about developing deep personal self-understanding that creates higher functioning and lasting change. Many people think going to therapy is about learning coping skills, but therapy is not education. Effective therapy is a highly customized approach to self-understanding at a personal level. When we can see and understand our patterns and processes or those of our family members, we then have an opportunity to make different choices. While it’s not uncommon to learn techniques for living more mindfully in therapy, this is not the focus of therapy. Learning skills for self-management can be learned from a book or a podcast, but coming to see your unique patterns or process cannot be read in a book. This is the gift of the therapist. A skilled therapist can help the clients see in a way that promotes self-understanding, self-compassion, and ultimately better ways of relating to self and others. #### SHIFT #6 ## **From Basic Ethics to Integrity-Driven Practice** Effective therapy extends way beyond adhering to ethical standards; it should be driven by the personal integrity of the therapist. A mental health professional is bound by an ethical code to not harm the client. However, this is the basic and minimal standard. An effective therapist will be driven by personal integrity more than clinical ethics. There’s a phrase we use in training therapists called “the person of the therapist.” We don’t have the luxury of medication or a scalpel to move our patients to health. Therefore, a therapist must do their “person of the therapist” work. This is an ongoing process of self-care, self-confrontation, facing our fears, and having the courage to practice what we preach. This often requires the therapist spends significant time on the other side of the couch. ###### Shift #7 ## ****From Finding the Right Fit to Building a Collaborative Alliance**** While a client may feel more comfortable with a particular type of person or therapeutic model, this is not the most important ingredient of effective therapy. We work to establish what we call a “therapeutic alliance” or a “collaborative relationship.” A collaborative relationship is essential; as the therapist and client(s) work together toward common goals with mutual understanding and agreement. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Collaborate.jpg) A strong alliance means we are working together with our client(s) throughout the course of therapy. One important component of this is being able to talk about the therapy itself and how the process is going. Sometimes clients drop out of therapy or find a new therapist when they are frustrated or disappointed with the process. This is a time to talk about what’s happening in therapy and hopefully strengthen the alliance. Even when the client opts to discontinue or seek a different therapist, most therapists really appreciate feedback about the client’s experience. ###### Shift #8 ## **From Venting Emotions to Confronting Yourself: Facilitating Personal Growth** It’s not uncommon for a client to present for counseling and feel the need to vent about a concerning thing or experience. Often this alone is quite helpful to the client as many people rarely have the experience of being listened to well. Empathic listening where someone tracks what you are saying and reflects it to you feels nice and sometimes provides a sense of relief. However, **venting alone rarely leads to resolution.** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Conversation.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Conversation.jpg) To change or heal deep-seated patterns, it is necessary to go deeper than just telling the story. This looks like a client being willing to really look at their own experiences, “process” or move through the pain or shame that has clouded that experience or concern for so long, and face themselves with kindness and compassion. This may then give them the chance to create a freer way of living and change that lasts. Therapy is not designed for just venting and unloading stress. It’s an opportunity for clients to process their experiences, confront themselves, and meet their pain with compassion. This facilitates personal growth and the development of higher levels of functioning through self-reflection and understanding. ###### Shift #9 ## ******From Talking About Feelings to Processing for Healing****** Discussing feelings is a part of therapy, but its core lies in processing these emotions, memories, and experiences in a way that is healing. Often this looks like “sitting with” something or reflecting on what’s happening in your body as you turn toward the things that’s hard. This deeper exploration paves the way for emotional healing, allowing clients to navigate through their complexities toward a fuller life. ###### Shift #10 ## **From Seeking Advice to Cultivating Self-Connection** Providing advice undermines effective listening. Sometimes clients anticipate the therapist has all the answers and will tell the client what to do. While some therapists do give advice and it can be helpful; it’s usually more helpful to engage the client in self-direction based on an integrated connection with themselves. This self-connection guides clients in making decisions that align with their values and personal goals, fostering a sense of autonomy and informed decision-making. ## Transform your life with effective therapy The transformative power of effective therapy and its potential are clear. By embracing these shifts, individuals can unlock the full spectrum of therapeutic benefits, embarking on a journey of profound personal transformation. Are you ready to challenge your existing perceptions and explore how you can harness the power of therapy to its fullest extent? The journey begins with a simple step—if you have a therapist, start a conversation about these transformative shifts. If you’re not already in therapy, consider taking that first step toward deep, meaningful change. Therapy is more than venting, being validated, or feeling better—it’s about transformation. It’s about confronting yourself, healing, and emerging stronger. And it works! Check out [our therapy outcomes](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/ "Our Clinical Outcomes"). Are you ready to embark on that journey? ###### clinical director ## [Amy Fuller PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S, CST-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/ "Dr. Amy Fuller, Clinical Director") Dr. Fuller is the founder and clinical director at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute in Houston, Texas. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/064_DaveAmyFullerACU-966x1024.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/6d17399acfd9b615dcc0b9c59c57e5ae8935bb0c93952030fbf48b72220e0445?s=300&r=g) Amy Fuller PhD Clinical Director Dr. Amy Fuller is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and professional counselor with over two decades of experience specializing in sex therapy, couples therapy, and trauma. She earned her master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Abilene Christian University and her PhD from St. Mary’s University. Dr. Fuller is the founder and Clinical Director of Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, a nonprofit in Houston committed to providing affordable mental health care and advanced therapist training. She is an AASECT-certified sex therapist and supervisor, known for her compassionate and evidence-based approach. Dr. Fuller serves as the Specialization Director for Sex Therapy and Trauma in the Doctor of Professional Counseling program at Kairos University, where she mentors emerging clinicians. With a passion for making therapy accessible and equipping therapists for meaningful, lasting work, Dr. Fuller integrates clinical excellence, spirituality, and cultural responsiveness into every aspect of her practice. [See Full Bio](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) [ ](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) Couples Therapy Healing Trauma Sex Therapy Mental Health Family Therapy EMDR Relationships Mindfulness [ ![social network 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icon](data:image/svg+xml;base64,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) ](https://www.linkedin.com/in/amyfullerphd/) **Categories:** Cognitive Reframing, Counseling, Family Therapy, Mental Health, mental health,, Self-Awareness, Teletherapy --- ### [Resolutions With Staying Power](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resolutions-with-staying-power/) **Published:** January 14, 2014 **Author:** Lesley Anne Mendonça **Content:** A recent study pegged the top three resolutions of 2014 to be: *lose weight, get organized*, and *spend less*. The same study shows that only 8% of people are successful in achieving their goals. One reason these resolutions do not last may be that the changes are only surface-level. Merely focusing on surface issues is somewhat like cleaning only a square foot of an entire room that needs tidying. As important as those immediate goals are, why not dig a little deeper into the more long-standing rhythms of life we have been living? The fourth most common resolution is to enjoy life to the *fullest,* yet so many of us struggle to know how that is done. Here are some simple guidelines to create lasting resolutions that tackle our whole, beautiful existence so we are able to truly enjoy life to the fullest (Statistic Brain, 2014). **Starting: Where do we still live in fear?** [![New Horizons](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/224529_10101033099028140_7241531_n-e1389749724187.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/224529_10101033099028140_7241531_n-e1389749724187.jpg) An excellent first step is to notice the areas where we are fearful in order to target tricky areas that need our attention. For instance, we may feel fear when thinking of our finances, relationships, specific habits or body image. This first step takes reflection and a tolerance for initial [discomfort](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/scary-thoughts/ "discomfort"). However, the insight and awareness that we can attain by listening to our fears is invaluable, and thus takes priority. Beyond this, we can begin to address the different realms of life that intertwine to make a fuller life: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well-being. **Mental Well-Being: Never Stop Being a Student** Life never stops delivering its lessons, so we can refresh our perspective constantly by being a forever-student. We can learn from past mistakes, our relationships, or from our reflection. ## always let what you learn ## *challenge* what you know. A wonderful guiding principle here is to always let what you learn *challenge* what you know. Other ideas include reading books not in your normal repertoire, attending a workshop or two that stretch your mind, or joining an academic circle that is out of your comfort zone. Have you always wondered about a particular profession or field of research? Clear a little time each week to get your feet wet, purely for the fun of it. We can even look to our relationships and challenge the status quo by making our interactions and responses more positive and encouraging. The best part is: this type of learning involves no grades! **Physical Well-Being: Balance Your Lifestyle** We have all heard it before: physical health rests on diet and exercise. In fact, we have heard it so many times, our minds are likely to tune out the message completely. However, if we can shift our perspective enough to see physical wellness more holistically – we can begin to feel freedom as we open up ourselves to more options for health. Diet and exercise are just two facets of a happy, balanced lifestyle. So don’t just exercise, engage in a fun, creative activity. Feel the joy of working muscles and a beating heart; feel the joy of each movement and breath. In addition, don’t just diet; eat lots of *[superfoods](http://www.webmd.com/diet/features/superfoods-everyone-needs "superfoods"),* and enjoy the effects it has on your body. And we do not have to stop there, we can look at how we spend our day. For one week, we can try logging how much time is spent on each activity. Chances are we might spot many areas of sedentary lifestyle plugged into our [technology](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-creating-technology-balance/ "technology"). Novelist Abha Dawesar asks the question: > *“Have our lives now become fixated on the drive to digitally connect, while we miss out on what’s real?”* The frequent use of technology has powerful effects on our identity, lifestyle, and overall well-being. The value of unplugging daily is crucial to our experience of a full life. Check out [Dawesar’s whole lecture](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lV3trdyDdHE) for inspiring commentary on the role technology has in our life. **Spiritual Well-Being: Unleash Your Creative Spirit** There is more to unleashing our creative spirit than meets the eye. The process of expressing what lies within us is a validating experience that can open us up to so much life. Our initial responses to this task might be “I’m not creative” or “I’m too busy”. Each of us has an inner child and a [playful ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-the-importance-of-play/ "playful")spirit that needs to be expressed. A good first step is to loosen our ideas of what it means to be *creative.* Perhaps one person’s version of creativity involves creating a spreadsheet just for fun, while another’s involves writing a song about nonsense. Start small. Try taking a different route to work or shopping for groceries somewhere new. Build up creativity by encouraging [play ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-the-importance-of-play/ "play")in your day which can further unlock your creative spirit. With regard to time, keep in mind that our busyness will never fully dissipate. Stress has a way of tricking us into feeling we need to complete everything all at once. If we can be reminded that this is an illusion, we will have greater ease in creating time for creativity. Creativity is essential to encountering the fullness of spiritual well-being. **Emotional Well-Being: “All You Need Is \[Still\] Love”** Marianne Williamson, celebrated author and lecturer, writes that the opposite of fear is love. > ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Self-Love--scaled-1024x683.jpg)*“We have been brought up in a world that does not put love first, and where love is absent, fear sets in… It’s a terrible absence of what we need in order to survive”* > > > > > > (Williamson, 2012, p. 22) We cannot underestimate the centering, transformative, purposing power of love in our daily lives. In each of our resolutions, perhaps we can include love; love for our bodies, love for our minds, love for those we share our lives with. Letting love grow into every small detail of our lives is perhaps the most paramount of steps to a fully enjoyed life. If it has been a while since we have felt love, we can start small by practicing [gratitude](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-power-of-gratitude/ "gratitude"). In all of these things, it is important to be compassionate and patient as we address these areas of our blessed lives. Try not to lose heart if results are not seen within the expected timeline. Deep, lasting change takes time and tends to be cyclical. So breathe… and take small steps daily towards truly enjoying life to the fullest. Good luck, and Happy New Year! ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6838-e1631304820220-1024x1024.jpg) [Lesley Anne Mendonça,](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/lesley-anne-me%E2%80%A6lmft-associate/%20%E2%80%8E "Lesley Mendonça") M.A., LMFT-Associate, LPC-Intern Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, LMFT-S, LPC-S Williamson, M. (2012). *A return to love: Reflections on the principles of a course in miracles.* New York, NY: HarperOne. NEW YEARS RESOLUTION STATISTICS – Statistic Brain. 2013 Statistic Brain Research Institute, publishing as Statistic Brain. JANUARY 1, 2014 http://www.statisticbrain.com/new-years-resolution-statistics/ ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6838-e1631304820220.jpg) Lesley Anne Mendonça Lesley is a Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy. She practices individual, marital and family counseling, and has a background in ministry with adolescents. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) Mental Health Play Therapy Relationships Parenting Family Therapy [ ![social network icon](data:image/svg+xml;base64,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) ](https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesleymendonca/) **Categories:** Emotions and Relationships, Mental Health, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Esteem, Self-Validation (affirmations) **Tags:** anxiety, breath work, gratitude, physical well-being, self-care practices --- ### [Out With the Old, In with the New! Self-Care Resolutions](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/old-new-self-care-resolutions/) **Published:** December 29, 2016 **Author:** Tamara Tatum **Content:** As the year rolls to a close and the holiday cheer begins to wane, thoughts and reflections of the past year and hopes and curiosity about the upcoming year are swirling about. At the start of the new year, instead of new gym memberships and the same old resolutions, consider resolving to add more authentic “self-care” into your life. The concept of self-care has been around for some time. Yet, there seems to be a lot of vagueness around what it actually means, with definitions varying from treating yourself to wine and ice cream to going on a quest to find yourself on the Pacific Crest Trail. Here are a few questions to ask yourself to begin to understand the true meaning of self-care: ### **Who am I?** As people, we are physical beings. We need food and water and sleep to survive and we live and die in our physical bodies. We are also social beings, born into families, communities, societies. And the truth is, we need relationships (Anderson, 1995). We are spiritual beings. Spirituality means an understanding that there is a greater reality beyond what we experience through our physical senses. Though we may have differing faiths and views, intrinsically, we sense that life has meaning and that we have meaning, beyond our physical presence. Acknowledging our spirituality also means acknowledging that we are valuable and worthy. In summary, we are people with real value and real limitations. We may be capable of accomplishing a great many things, yet each of us has unique limits to our capacities. We take care of ourselves because of our intrinsic worth and if we don’t, we will suffer spiritually, physically and socially. ### **Where do I begin?** The first step in getting what we need, is, of course, *knowing* what we need. Learning about our needs involves cultivating a deeper connection to our bodies, relationships and something greater than ourselves. Self-care is not simply indulging our wants, but knowing ourselves – both our strengths and limitations – well enough to seek out and to receive what is most healthful for all aspects of ourselves. If you are unsure of what you need, taking a self-care assessment may be a good place to start. Cultivating a practice of taking stock of your daily experiences is another great way to get to know yourself. For example, at the end of each day, ask yourself: “When did I feel most drained? When did I feel most energized? Or perhaps, “What am I fearing, or hoping for in the day to come?” These questions have their roots from a practice called [“the Examen” by St. Ignatius of Loyola](https://daringtolivefully.com/review-your-day). ### **How do I put this into practice?** Interestingly, beginning with the concept of “compassion” can be very helpful as we put these thoughts into practice. Compassion involves first, noticing another’s suffering or needs and second, being affected enough to respond with care. Similarly, [Dr. Kristin Neff tells us](http://self-compassion.org/the-three-elements-of-self-compassion-2/) that self-compassion means seeing our own needs and responding accordingly. So, knowing ourselves and what we need is a good start, but to really care for ourselves, we must deliberately act to meet those needs. [According to Dr. Neff](http://self-compassion.org/the-three-elements-of-self-compassion-2/), compassionate and self-compassionate people: 1. Respond to failure, inadequacy and suffering with kindness rather than harsh judgement. 2. Recognize that hardships are part of the human experience, and we are not alone in them. 3. Neither deny negative feelings, nor blow them out of proportion; but maintain an honest and balanced perspective. Because we are unique, self-care will look different for different people; however, growing in self-compassion is a necessary ingredient. Self-care for one person may be responding with kind words to him or herself after a major disappointment. For another, self-care may involve scheduling time to rest and play amid a busy schedule. And for yet another person, self-care might mean joining an exercise class to be more physically active and meet new people. As you walk into the new year, remember these resolutions for good self-care: 1. Know yourself 2. Notice your needs 3. Respond! We, at Fuller Life, wish you a healthy and compassion-filled New Year! ### **Resources** Neff, Kristin. [http://self-compassion.org/#](http://self-compassion.org/) Anderson, Ray. (1995). Self Care: A Theology of Personal Empowerment and Spiritual Healing. > [What A 16th Century Priest Can Teach You About Self-Improvement](https://daringtolivefully.com/review-your-day) https://www.ecu.edu/cs-dhs/rehb/upload/Wellness_Assessment.pdf ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-150x150.jpg) Contributed by [Tamara Tatum, LMFT-Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tamaratatum/) Supervised by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-e1631305233968.jpg) Tamara Tatum [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) Mental Health Family Therapy Divorce, Separation, Blended Families Parenting Healing Trauma Relationships **Categories:** Compassion, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Self-Care Practices **Tags:** New Year, resolutions, self-care, self-care practices, self-compassion --- ### [Self-Care: The Best Gift of the Season](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-the-best-gift-of-the-season/) **Published:** November 27, 2012 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** We are in full holiday swing. Along with the festivities come parties, good food, presents, laughter, and twinkling lights. We gather with family and friends to celebrate our relationships and remember another year together. We also may find ourselves becoming increasingly tense and exhausted with all of the hustle and bustle. Our levels of stress tend to increase as we are inundated with long shopping lines, traffic jams, and relationship expectations. One’s self-care may end up last on the prioritized list of things to get done. Unfortunately, this can lead to feelings of irritability, frustration, and even aggression. One may even feel “boxed in” or “cornered.” ## These feelings can be exacerbated by what we tell ourselves: > > *“Why am I so tense?”* > > > > *“I am supposed to be able to handle all of this stress.”* > > > > *“If I do not get the right gift, what will they think?”* > > > > *“I should be enjoying this party, but I feel sad.”* ## What matters most is the response “When you start to feel a little sad, anxious or irritable, it’s not the mood that does the damage but how you react to it. The effort of trying to free yourself from a bad mood or bout of unhappiness – of working out why you’re unhappy and what you can do about it – often makes things worse. It’s like being trapped in quicksand – the more you struggle to be free, the deeper you sink.” ([Williams & Penman, 2011]( http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Eight-Week-Finding-Peace-Frantic/dp/1609618955/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1354035394&sr=1-1&keywords=finding+peace+in+a+frantic+world "Finding Peace in a Frantic World")) ## “How can I be kind to myself in this moment?” As our minds rush with the frantic holiday pace, we can feel overwhelmed. If we beat up ourselves with self-critical thoughts, we only make ourselves feel worse. However, when we take a moment to practice compassionate self-awareness, we can create space to breathe. One can add mindfulness into life easily without taking much extra time. An abundance of formal mindfulness exercises are on the Internet. One can also practice randomly throughout the day. As we take a moment to pause, we can ask ourselves, “What am I saying in my mind right now? How can I be kind to myself in this moment?” ## A mindfulness practice Here is an informal mindfulness practice that can help: S.T.O.P. is a practice we can use anytime we find ourselves “stopped” in a long line, traffic jam, or red light. Each time we stop, take a moment to go through the four letters, breathe, pause, and check in with our thoughts. When we have checked in and feel more centered in the moment, we can proceed. This practice is a beautiful way to give ourselves permission for self-care several times a day. ## **S.T.O.P.** > S – Stop or pause. > > T – Take a deep breath and relax. > > O – Observe in the present moment: What sounds do I notice? Where is my breath? How does my body feel? What am I saying in my mind? What is one way I can respond to myself with compassion in this moment? > > P – Proceed – Where was my attention before S.T.O.P.? Did it match my intention? Do I want to continue or attend to something else? ([Zylowska, 2012](http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Prescription-Adult-ADHD-Strengthening/dp/1590308476/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1354035462&sr=1-1&keywords=the+mindfulness+prescription+for+adult+adhd "Mindfulness Prescription for Adult ADHD")) At Fuller Life Family Therapy, we desire to work together to create more peace in your life. We want to walk along side you as you explore ways to be more compassionate in your relationships and with yourself. Please share this article with anyone who you think might benefit from a little more peace. [Williams, Mark, and Penman, Danny. (2011). *Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World.*](http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Eight-Week-Finding-Peace-Frantic/dp/1609618955/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1354035394&sr=1-1&keywords=finding+peace+in+a+frantic+world "Mindfulness: Finding Peace in a Frantic World") [Zylowska, Lidia. (2012). *The Mindfulness Prescription for Adult ADHD: An 8-Step Program for Strengthening Attention, Managing Emotions, and Achieving Your Goals*.](http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Prescription-Adult-ADHD-Strengthening/dp/1590308476/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1354035462&sr=1-1&keywords=the+mindfulness+prescription+for+adult+adhd "Mindfulness Prescription for Adult ADHD") [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg) Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Compassion, Counseling, Emotions and Relationships, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Care Practices **Tags:** compassion, counseling, mindfulness, self-care, stress --- ### [Five Simple Steps to a Meaningful Holiday Season](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/meaningfulholiday/) **Published:** December 3, 2013 **Author:** Lesley Anne Mendonça **Content:** [![wreath](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/wreath-e1386119177536.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/wreath-e1386119177536.jpg) With the start of December comes an almost audible, collective tensing-up of family members worldwide. People everywhere are forming lists of tasks to be completed and items to be bought surrounded by the pressure of a competitive timeline. In addition, we may carry an unwritten list in our hearts of things that worry and scare us. We want the holiday season to be a time to focus on what matters most, yet it very quickly turns into a fast-paced game of survival. It is every man for himself! Most of us can relate to this feeling to some degree. If we merely survive the holiday season, we can be left with a sense of loss as it comes to a close. What if we take a short break from what we brace ourselves for in order to entertain what we *hope* for this holiday season. Perhaps we hope for reconciliation with a loved one, reflection over a particularly trying year, time spent doing the things we enjoy most, or perhaps merely hope itself. If left unmanaged, the holidays can turn our lives into nothing more than a ‘quick succession of busy nothings,’ as Jane Austen writes. When we practice managing ourselves, we can actively create the rich, profound and blessing-soaked holiday we all hope for. My hope is that these simple steps can help each of us enjoy a holiday that vividly frames our lives with meaning and purpose. [![JOY](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/JOY-300x225.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/JOY-e1386119490569.jpg) ## **Step One: Get in touch with your hopes.** Start imagining what might bring your heart true peace this season. If you struggle in this first step, make a list of the things you value. A list might include *exercise, laughter, good food, sleep, and time with a loved one or in nature.* Then simply reflect on what insight your list gives you. You may find what you long for is rest, or connection, or safety. The goal here is to identify important goals and spiritual gifts that we might long for, and practice cultivating and receiving it daily. ## **Step Two: Guard your time.** Your time is precious. It may help to budget how much time we want to spend on each task. When you reach the time limit: **Stop**. When we devote time to things that nurture our heart and soul, we stay connected to our meaning and purpose. Most importantly, set aside at least five minutes each day to sit in reflection or prayer. If this is a new practice for you, try to read up on ways to [mindfulness ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindfulness/ "mindfulness")and [meditation](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/enjoy-a-moment-of-calm/ "meditation"). ## **Step Three: Free yourself!** We can be the victor over the lists, the demands, the expectations and the increasing volume of the calendar. While we do need to carry on with our tasks, we are never to be made prisoner to them. If we can challenge our ideas of what *needs* to be done, ask for help whenever possible and practice self-compassion with our limitations – we can successfully free ourselves from feeling so *trapped.* Remember: *We* are in charge, not our lists! ## **Step Four: Lower your standards.** In every possible moment during the holiday season, try to distinguish between the *pressing* and the *essential. For example, a slightly messy kitchen *may* be the price for thirty minutes playing with the children or grandchildren. Consider it well worth the cost. Or perhaps we can let go of trying to do *it all* for everyone else in order to free up time to nurture our own weary soul. Each of us can likely stand to loosen our grip on perfection so as to receive what matters to us so much more. A meaningful holiday season is built on quality, not quantity. Glance back at your list of values or desired spiritual gifts, and make it a point to receive them this month. ## **Step Five: Entertain a fresh perspective.** So much of our holiday season is contingent on the state of our family relationships. We can sometimes be steered into unrest by irritating family patterns. Perhaps this year’s holiday season is even dreaded, due to very painful family complications. Begin to respond to yourself with [self-compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/courage-to-face-our-fears/ "self-compassion") and [self-acceptance](http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/200809/the-path-unconditional-self-acceptance "self-acceptance") right in this moment, no matter the state of your family ties. Then slowly practice letting go of learned patterns. When we bring a fresh perspective to the way we see our family roles, our relationships, and ourselves, we create space to lead more fulfilling lives*.* Try new ways of relating to yourself and others, and let go of *the expected*. If the expected shows its face, show it a new side of you. Above all, we can always come back to self-compassion as we all muddle through the messier moments of the holidays; it often has a funny way of trickling over to other hearts as well. There is an art to having a truly *meaningful* holiday season, and my prayer is that we can all have fun in the mess of learning it! May we each welcome this holiday season with confidence, focus and peace. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6838-e1631304820220-300x300.jpg) ##### Lesley Mendonca, LPC, LMFT ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6838-e1631304820220.jpg) Lesley Anne Mendonça Lesley is a Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy. She practices individual, marital and family counseling, and has a background in ministry with adolescents. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) Mental Health Play Therapy Relationships Parenting Family Therapy [ ![social network icon](data:image/svg+xml;base64,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) ](https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesleymendonca/) **Categories:** Adolescents & Children, Anxiety & Panic, Anxiety Issues, Blended Families, Boundaries, Centering Prayer, Compassion, Counseling, Emotions and Relationships, Empathy, Family Therapy, Mental Health, Mindfulness Practice, Relationships, Spirituality, Sticky, Stress Management, Time Management **Tags:** adolescents, anxiety, blended families, boundaries, centering prayer, children, compassion, counseling, emotions, emotions and relationships, Empathy, family therapy, mindfulness practice, panic, spirituality, stress management, time management --- ### [Do all healthy couples fight?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/do-all-healthy-couples-fight/) **Published:** May 16, 2013 **Author:** Scott Rampy **Content:** [![dv](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/dv-248x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/do-all-healthy-couples-fight/dv/) There is an old saying that all healthy couples fight. While it is true that all healthy couples actively encounter and work through conflict, it is not necessarily true that all healthy couples *must* or *need to* “fight.” Fighting normally entails a struggle for one to overpower and subdue the other. ## Is there a third way of resolving conflict than fighting or just giving in? The classic back-and-forth argument is self-defeating. Imagine a couple as two fighters in opposite corners in a boxing ring. Each tries to win by out-arguing the other. Each point scored by one partner spurs the other on to retaliate in kind. Yet even when this struggle is successful at resolving the issue, the relationship often comes out bruised and wounded. Is there a way to enhance the strength of the relationship through conflict? ## What if instead of boxers a couple was pictured as two people working on a puzzle together? ![Couple with jigsaw puzzle](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Couple-with-jigsaw-puzzle-300x199.jpg) Side by side they work on a problem. While the boxers emphasize the talking part of communicating, the puzzlers place the emphasis on listening. While one person shares their thoughts and feelings the other tries to gather a deep understanding of the speaker. They ask questions to help their understanding. They share what they think they are hearing while being open to the possibility that they misunderstood and are open to correction. When one person intentionally takes such a stance it makes it much easier for the other to respond in kind. Prominent relationship researcher John Gottman has found three types of couples communication styles (validators, volatiles, and avoiders) can all be stable relationships. However, regardless of the style, certain tactics such as the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” are destructive. Namely, these are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. An alternative positive tactic, listening, doesn’t necessarily mean agreeing – although it can lead to that. Engaging in a process of listening not only opens doors to solution but, more importantly communicates that the conversation partner is valuable. The key to success in this new venture is managing emotion. Avoiding the Four Horsemen and emphasizing listening, validating, openness, and compassion are important components to constructively working through conflict. For more by John Gottman look into his popular books [“Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last”](http://www.amazon.com/Why-Marriages-Succeed-Fail-Yours/dp/0684802414/) and [“The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.” ](http://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0609805797/) From the Fuller Life blog: [“Five Reasons Why Your Loved One Won’t Communicate and What They Might Be Feeling”](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/five-reasons-why-your-loved-one-wont-talk-to-you-and-what-they-might-be-feeling/) [“Anger and Relationships”](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/anger-and-relationships/) [“What I Made Up in my Mind”](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/what-i-made-up-in-my-mind/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6829-e1631305127874.jpg) Scott Rampy [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) Mental Health Family Therapy Relationships Divorce, Separation, Blended Families **Categories:** Communication, Counseling, Couples, Emotions and Relationships, Marriage, Premarital, Relationships, Sticky **Tags:** acceptance, anger management, Communication, compassion, couples, Couples exercises, Curiosity, emotions, emotions and relationships, relationships --- ### [Give Thanks: The Most Simple Well-Kept Secret to Living a Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/give-thanks-the-most-simple-well-kept-secret-to-a-great-life/) **Published:** November 6, 2012 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** With Thanksgiving around the corner, it seems like a good time to talk about the practice of giving thanks. One day a year we gather as families, eat an abundance of comfort food, and watch football. We take a little time to contemplate the blessings and relationships in life. For many, this is a favorite holiday. Each moment is filled with gifts, as well as things that are lacking. Unfortunately, the stuff that is missing often creates a lens that makes it difficult to see what we already have. In his uplifting [TED talk, Shawn Achor](http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work.html "Shawn Achor") discusses how our culture has “pushed happiness over the cognitive horizon.” ([Achor, 2012](http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work.html "Shawn Achor")) We think “I will be happy, when the cool kids notice me, when I graduate, get that promotion, lose weight, get married, have a child, \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ (fill in the blank).” But, we know somewhere deep down there will always be another promotion, challenge in marriage, and worries about our children. Happiness seems just beyond reach. One step away. Our focus on the future robs us of the ability to find joy in the things we already have. [Brené Brown](http://www.brenebrown.com/books/2012/5/15/daring-greatly.html) adds another issue to the conversation of happiness. When we allow ourselves to feel joy and care deeply in a moment, we become vulnerable to loss. She names this fear “foreboding joy.” ([Brown, 2012](http://www.brenebrown.com/books/2012/5/15/daring-greatly.html "Daring Greatly")) > “*In our culture of deep scarcity – of never feeling safe, certain, and sure enough, joy can feel like a setup. We wake up in the morning and think, ‘Work is going well. Everyone in the family is healthy. No major crises are happening. The house is still standing. I’m working out and feeling good… this is bad. This is really bad. Disaster must be lurking around the corner.’”* [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/pumpkins.jpg "pumpkins")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/pumpkins.jpg) Brown found that the practice of gratitude is the antidote to foreboding joy. “*Gratitude is how we acknowledge that there is enough and that we are enough… Joy comes to us in moments – ordinary moments. We risk missing out on joy when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary*.” Gratitude is in the present. It is about savoring what it is to be human. We see what we have in the moment and let ourselves feel. We have a natural tendency to focus on what goes wrong. Our brains have a built-in survival mechanism wired to detect danger. Our well-oiled threat detection system responds instantaneously, flooding our body with cortisol and adrenaline (fight/flight/freeze). When a car swerves in front of us, this internal mechanism leaps into action, allowing us to slam on the brakes and get control without thinking. In his book, [*Flourish*, Martin Seligman](http://www.amazon.com/Flourish-Visionary-Understanding-Happiness-Well-being/dp/1439190763/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1352207889&sr=8-1&keywords=flourish "Flourish Martin Seligman") talks about how the practice of counting our blessings broadens out our perspective. ([Seligman, 2011](http://www.amazon.com/Flourish-Visionary-Understanding-Happiness-Well-being/dp/1439190763/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1352207889&sr=8-1&keywords=flourish "Flourish Martin Seligman")) We can add to our powerful threat-detection system with a gratitude practice. When we count our blessings, we become detectives on the lookout for positive moments we might miss because we are always scanning for threats. He talks about how he added an assignment recently for his students: > “*Every night for the next week, set aside ten minutes before you go to sleep. Write down three things that went well today and why they went well… Next to each positive event, answer the question, ‘Why did this happen?’”* After 45 years of teaching, Seligman describes the outcome of the assignment: *“I have never seen so much positive life changes in my students or heard the sweetest words a teacher can hear – **life changing** – used so often to describe the course.”* In just a few weeks, we will celebrate together the blessings of this year. What if we took this opportunity to expand this practice into the rest of the year? A gratitude practice expands our focus, opens our hearts to experience joy, and reminds us that *this moment is our life*. Here are some ideas to expand the practice of Thanksgiving into life: 1. At the end of the day during mealtime, share together with a good friend, spouse, or family members a moment of gratitude for the day. 2. Write down three things that you are thankful for in a journal at the end of the day. Remember to let yourself feel the feeling of thanksgiving that you felt in that moment. 3. Write a “Thank You” note to someone each day. Allow yourself to feel the blessing of this person in your life as you write the note. 4. Come up with creative ways to express thanksgiving with friends and loved ones. For example, use a white tablecloth for Thanksgiving dinner. During the meal, pass around a marker and have everyone write the date and a blessing (be sure to put some newspaper under the cloth). 5. > **Be Thankful** > > Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire, > > If you did, what would there be to look forward to? > > Be thankful when you don’t know something > > For it gives you the opportunity to learn. > > Be thankful for the difficult times. > > During those times you grow. > > Be thankful for your limitations > > Because they give you opportunities for improvement. > > Be thankful for each new challenge > > Because it will build your strength and character. > > Be thankful for your mistakes > > They will teach you valuable lessons. > > Be thankful for your mistakes, > > They will teach you valuable lessons. > > Be thankful when you’re tired and weary. > > Because it means you’ve made a difference. > > It is easy to be thankful for the good things. > > A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks. > > Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive. > > Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, > > and they can become your blessings. > > Author Unknown [Brown, Brené. (2012). *Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Life, Love, Parent, and Lead*.](http://www.brenebrown.com/books/2012/5/15/daring-greatly.html "Daring Greatly") [Seligman, Martin. (2011). *Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being*.](http://www.amazon.com/Flourish-Visionary-Understanding-Happiness-Well-being/dp/1439190763/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1352207889&sr=8-1&keywords=flourish "Flourish Martin Seligman") [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg) Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Cognitive Reframing, Gratitude, Lifestyle, Relationships, Self-Care Practices **Tags:** gratefulness, gratitude, mindfulness, mindfulness practice --- ### [Why People Who are Different than You can Make a Difference in Your Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/people-who-are-different-than-you-make-a-difference-in-your-life/) **Published:** May 16, 2017 **Author:** Tamara Tatum **Content:** People are naturally discriminating. Our brains are constantly scanning the environment looking out for potential threats. A threat can be something known to us – something that has caused us harm in the past – or unknown, something new and unfamiliar. It can be easy to give in to this natural response and remain within our comfortable, safe, social bubbles. In fact, there is [evidence ](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-diversity-makes-us-smarter/)that social diversity can lead to lack of trust, lower communication, greater perceived conflict, more concern about disrespect. Why would we go through the work of overriding our brain’s natural response to unfamiliar (and potentially threatening) stimuli? Why would we engage in interactions with people who are different than us? First, we know that personal growth does not happen when we remain in our [comfort zone](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/7-mistakes-discomfort-zone-costing-growth/). Second, there is [evidence that diversity makes us smarter](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-diversity-makes-us-smarter/). Being in a diverse environment enhances creativity, encourages search for novel information and perspectives, and leads to better decision making and problem solving. [Research](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-diversity-makes-us-smarter/) has even shown that increasing gender and racial diversity in the workplace has improved financial performance for banks. If you are ready to take the risk and build relationships with someone who might look, think or act differently than you, here are some tips (adapted from the [Community Tool Box](http://ctb.ku.edu/en/table-of-contents/culture/cultural-competence/building-relationships/main)): #### 1. Become aware of your own culture and biases. To become aware of your own culture, think about your multiple identities *(religion, nationality, race, sexual identity, ethnicity, occupation, marital status, age, ability, geographic region).* Then consider how these identities affect how you live and perceive the world? We all carry biases and misinformation about groups of people that can come from various sources *(i.e., the media, our families, etc.).* #### 2. Risk making mistakes If we’re going to step out and do something new, we have a guarantee that we will make mistakes. What can make a world of difference is to recognize this ahead of time. We can also be willing to make amends when miscommunication or unintended offenses come up. #### 3. Be willing to learn There are many ways that we can learn about others. Here are a few ideas: - Read about or research a different culture. - Attend a local event. - Simply ask questions about another’s culture, identities, views, etc. #### 4. Demonstrate you care by truly listening and becoming an ally Everyone, including you, has a story to tell. Hearing someone share his or her experiences can help us connect, despite differences, on a human level. Becoming an ally means being willing to stick your neck out for someone else and speaking out against, or acting to stop, discrimination. If you step outside of your social comfort zone, you may risk conflict, mistakes, and misunderstandings. However, you may also gain personal growth, creativity, better problem-solving skills and new relationships! For Further Reading: - [Building Relationships with people of a different culture](http://ctb.ku.edu/en/table-of-contents/culture/cultural-competence/building-relationships/main) - [How diversity makes us smarter](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-diversity-makes-us-smarter/) - 7 [Mistakes You Make in Your Discomfort Zone that Limit Your Growth and How to Stop Making Them](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/7-mistakes-discomfort-zone-costing-growth/) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-150x150.jpg) Contributed by [Tamara Tatum, LMFT-Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tamaratatum/) Supervised by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-e1631305233968.jpg) Tamara Tatum [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) Mental Health Family Therapy Divorce, Separation, Blended Families Parenting Healing Trauma Relationships **Categories:** Communication, Empathy, Relationships, Self-Awareness **Tags:** culture, difference, diversity, growth, relationships --- ### [Loving the Lonely You](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/loving-the-lonely-you/) **Published:** March 7, 2016 **Author:** Angela Blocker **Content:** Loneliness affects everyone at some point in their lives. Studies show that married, single, young, old, employed and unemployed – all of us experience bouts of loneliness. Loneliness is the gap between the perception we have of our relationships and the ones we would *like* to have. Loneliness is inevitable to some degree. ## What do you do when you feel alone? 1. Take a break from the Internet. [Researchers](https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201410/10-surprising-facts-about-loneliness) have found that higher internet usage leads to a decrease in communication with family members and a decrease in social circle size. It has also been shown to increase depression and feelings of loneliness. This is especially true with social media outlets. Choose a day this week to be free from social media. 2. Hug it Out. Hugging has been proven to increase the social bonding and trust chemical oxytocin and also stimulates dopamine, a chemical positively linked to higher self-esteem and self-confidence. Hugging also increases serotonin, a chemical lower, or absent, in those who are depressed or chronically lonely. 1. Hug a friend or loved one 2. Hug an object – Hugging an inanimate object has been shown to reduce fears of mortality. In fact, a “hugging chair” exists in Japan, a country with high suicide rates, created for the sole purpose of curbing loneliness. For those of us without access to that chair, grab a pillow or stuffed toy. 3. Hug yourself – A [research team](https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-willpower/201105/hugging-yourself-reduces-physical-pain) in the UK has found that crossing your arms around yourself confuses the brain and relieves physical pain. [Kelly McGonigal](https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-willpower/201105/hugging-yourself-reduces-physical-pain), health psychologist and Stanford University professor states, “A self-hug should reduce pain in other ways, too, providing contact comfort and a feeling of safety and self-compassion that reduces the nervous system’s reactivity to pain and threat.” Go ahead. Give yourself a big hug. 3. Get lost in a joyful memory. Spend five minutes reflecting on the best social interaction you’ve had. Who were you with? What were you doing? Consider the things you saw, smelled, felt, tasted and heard. Reflecting back helps to improve mood and increase life satisfaction. 4. Embrace the solitude. Mindful solitude for the sole purpose of enjoying your own company can have positive benefits. These include, uplifted mood and increased self-confidence. Learn to cherish being alone by watching this inspiring four-minute video. If you are in the Houston area, our team of therapists at Fuller Life offer professional therapy for all persons regardless of income and assist in helping individuals build genuine connections. Note: If you are experiencing persistent feelings of sadness, loss of interest in activities and/or suicidal thoughts, seek out a licensed mental health professional or call 911 to receive assistance. References Dorfman, A. (2010). How To Be Alone. Retrieved February 17, 2016, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs Gallace A, Torta DM, Moseley GL, & Iannetti (2011). The analgesic effect of crossing the arms. Pain 152(6):1418-23. Halvorson, H. G. (2010). The Cure for Loneliness. Retrieved February 17, 2016, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-success/201010/the-cure-loneliness Kraut, R., Patterson, M., Lundmark, V., Kiesler, S., Mukophadhyay, T., & Scherlis, W. (1998). Internet paradox: A social technology that reduces social involvement and psychological well-being?. *American psychologist*,*53*(9), 1017. McGonigal, K. (2014). Hugging Yourself Reduces Physical Pain. Retrieved February 17, 2016, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-willpower/201105/hugging-yourself-reduces-physical-pain Moye, D. (2014). ‘Hugging Chair’ Invented To Cure Loneliness. Retrieved February 17, 2016, from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/04/japanese-hugging-chair\_n\_5930264.html Peplau, L., & Perlman, D. (1982). Perspectives on loneliness. In L. Peplau & D. Perlman (Eds.), *Loneliness: A sourcebook of current theory, research and therapy* (pp. 1-20). New York, NY: John Wiley and Sons. ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Angela-Blocker-LMFT-e1631303162413.png) Angela Blocker [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) Mental Health Play Therapy Parenting Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Cognitive Reframing, Compassion, Counseling, Covid-19, Self-Care Practices **Tags:** compassion, loneliness, self-care, solitude --- ### [Managing Disappointment](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/managing-disappointment/) **Published:** October 27, 2015 **Author:** Angela Blocker **Content:** When was the last time you anticipated life would go one way but instead it took an unexpected turn? In a moment, feelings of frustration, hurt, disappointment and anger can set in. Experiencing [disappointment ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)is a part of life but knowing how to handle it can be confusing. Here are some tips to get back in the saddle again. #### Express Those Emotions - Give yourself space to feel all the emotions accompanying the unmet expectation. Are you angry? Sad? Frustrated? It is normal and feeling them helps free you to make a sound decision. Emotions can easily cloud good judgment and make small situations seem larger than they are. By allowing yourself to feel the spectrum of emotion, you give yourself the freedom to see the situation more clearly—to gain perspective. - Expressing emotion is also healthy. After a disappointment, there is a greater risk of physical or emotional difficulties or a combination of the two, partly because of mishandling emotions. It can be tempting to hold these feelings inside or project them onto others. Psychologist [Dr. Michael Ashroth](http://psychcentral.com/lib/dealing-with-disappointment/), explains that over time, being disappointed can even lead to chronic stress problems internally and with those around you. Do yourself a favor and let it out. Try journaling! Is your energy regained through people? Talking it over with someone you know who listens well is a great way to let go. #### Don’t Dwell - [Disappointment](https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200403/down-not-out) may require a bit of grieving time to handle the loss of unmet expectations but don’t stay there! Wallowing keeps you stuck and prevents you from taking steps toward success. Not sure if you’re dwelling? Notice how much time and energy you spend thinking about the situation or talking about it. Choosing to think through the situation over and over with little action can increase your anxiety. Instead, go out and do something constructive or fun. It will reenergize your mind to take action! Dwelling will keep you from accomplishing your goals moving forward. #### Embrace It - Remember, in every situation you get to choose how to respond. Start by accepting the situation as it is. You do not have control over another person and you may not have control over some situations but you do have choices. Make the choice to evaluate what you wanted from yourself, the situation and others. Try to see it as an opportunity for a new possibility. If this sort of disappointment has happened repeatedly, accept it and consider what could be changed to yield a different result. Seek other avenues to achieve your goals. It may be time to step out of your comfort zone and take a risk! Disappointment is a normal part of life that everyone experiences. However, it does not have to have a negative effect. Use it as a stepping stone to achieve all you hope for! - References Ashroth, M. (2013). Dealing with disappointment. PsychCentral. http://psychcentral.com/lib/dealing-with-disappointment/ - Lybi, M. (2004). Down but not out. PsychologyToday. https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200403/down-not-out [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Angela-Blocker-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Contributed by [Angela Blocker , M.A, LMFT Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Clinical Supervision by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Angela-Blocker-LMFT-e1631303162413.png) Angela Blocker [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) Mental Health Play Therapy Parenting Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Anxiety & Panic, Counseling, Mental Health, Self-Care Practices, Stress Management **Tags:** acceptance, emotions, mental health, self-awareness, Self-Care Practice --- ### [Healing Practices: Permission to Sleep](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-permission-to-sleep/) **Published:** May 21, 2013 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** This is our fourth post in a series where we explore [daily practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices/ "Healing Practices") that nurture and encourage healing. Our last post discussed [creating a balance](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-creating-technology-balance/ "Balance between relationships and technology") between relationships and digital technologies. This post explores the benefits of sleep and useful tools that help us relax and get the most out of our sleep. **Out of Gas** Many of us realize the importance of maintenance and how it relates directly to an automobile’s performance. When we fill the gas tank and manage the oil level, we know our car will run at its best. When we push our car past how much gas it will hold, or if we neglect to change the oil, the car will not go. So if the car runs out of gas, what would be the most helpful thing to do? One option is to yell at it, but would that get us to our destination? Instead, we maintain our car so we can go where we want to go. Our bodies are no different. If we want to be effective in our relationships, work, and other pursuits, we need to have a full tank. In our culture, when we “run out of gas,” we often use over-the-counter drugs or herbs to push ourselves to keep going beyond fatigue. Our tanks may be “on empty,” but it is hard to stop. Some of us may even yell at ourselves to keep going. But unlike cars, our bodies are not machines. We have limitations. When we identify our limitations, we can learn to respond to ourselves with kindness. As we treat ourselves with [compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-compassion/ "Self-Compassion") and give ourselves permission to rest, we can meet the world and all its challenges with a fuller tank. **Caregivers and Parents** It is important to note how challenging it is to find time for rest as caregivers and parents. The needs of young children and those we care for often go beyond our ability to catch up on our rest. Fatigue can lead to tension and strain in a marriage. Fatigue often results in shorter tempers with children. As important as identifying our own “empty tank,” it is helpful to notice signs of fatigue in our relationship partners, and allow our loved ones and friends time to rest and refuel. When we cultivate these acts of grace in our families, we create space to respond to one another from a fuller tank that has more space for patience and [compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-compassion/) for ourself and others. **Nap Time** [![Nap](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Nap-199x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-permission-to-sleep/nap/) Setting aside time to rest yields great benefits. When we take a time-out, naps can be a great source of rest that helps fuel the body for the second half of the day. According the the [National Sleep Foundation](http://www.sleepfoundation.org/article/sleep-topics/napping "National Sleep Foundation: Napping"): > Naps can restore alertness, enhance performance, and reduce mistakes and accidents. A study at NASA on sleepy military pilots and astronauts found that a 40-minute nap improved performance by 34% and alertness 100%. Napping has psychological benefits. A nap can be a pleasant luxury, a mini-vacation. It can provide an easy way to get some relaxation and rejuvenation. **Preparation for Sleep** Many find it challenging to fall asleep at bedtime. Creating a pre-sleep routine can aid in a more restful experience. To begin, it is helpful to [set aside digital devices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-creating-technology-balance/ "Creating Technology Balance") about an hour before bedtime. Our brains confuse the light emanating from our computers and phones with sunlight. This inhibits the release of melatonin, the chemical that kicks off the sleep cycle. When we turn off our devices, our bodies can more easily shift into a resting mode. It may be helpful to include some calming exercises into a pre-sleep routine: > Our body craves routine and likes to know what’s coming. By creating a pre-sleep ritual, you are establishing a clear association between certain activities and sleep. For instance, if you read before heading to bed, your body knows that reading at night signals sleep time. If you take a warm bath before bed every night, your body recognizes that it’s time to slow down and relax. Other helpful activities can be listening to calming music, stretching, or doing relaxation exercises. If you are watching TV before bed, make sure it’s at least a relaxing program, and not something like the news. ([Margarita Tartakovsky, 12 Ways to Shut Off Your Brain Before Bedtime](http://psychcentral.com/lib/2011/12-ways-to-shut-off-your-brain-before-bedtime/ "12 Ways to Shut Off Your Brain Before Bedtime")) The following videos are examples of different approaches that calm the mind, reduce stress, clear tension, and release emotional energy. Everyone is different, so it is helpful to experiment in order to find the best personal fit. As we create space to relax, we set up the potential for a deeper, more restful sleep. Try some of these. Do not underestimate the importance of sleep when it comes to your well-being. Proper rest can be a gift we give ourselves every day, a gift of compassion that not only benefits us, but everyone around us. **Mindfulness Body Scan** ## Mindful Body Scan ## Qi Gong ## Yin Yoga [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg) Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Compassion, Counseling, Emotions and Relationships, Empathy, Marriage, Parenting, Relationships, Self-Care Practices, Sleep Disorders, Sticky, Stress Management --- ### [How to Feel Your Way to A Healthier Body](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-feel-your-way-to-a-healthier-body/) **Published:** February 15, 2016 **Author:** Manet Castaneda **Content:** **Feel Your Way to a Healthier Body** How do our emotions affect our bodies? Do the ways in which we deal with those emotions matter? Some researchers say our emotions can either be beneficial or detrimental to our overall wellbeing. Conventional medicine has taught us that illnesses are usually the result of our bodies aging, the environment around us, or our unhealthy life choices. If you find yourself losing your hearing it is most likely related to getting older. If you have an upset stomach then a virus or something you ate is probably the culprit. However, what conventional medicine rarely tells us is that tending to our emotions can have a positive impact on our health and improve our overall life satisfaction. Is it possible to feel your way to a healthier life? According to several [studies](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/self/the-link-between-emotions-and-health.html), by taking care of your emotions in healthy ways, you can improve your health and wellbeing. A few of the ways in which you can care for your emotional wellbeing are by, practicing gratitude, engaging in laughter, and expressing your emotions in healthy ways. **Practice Gratitude** Dr. Amit Sood, a professor of medicine at the Mayo Clinic, noticed that the patients who practiced gratitude, despite their illness, were able to recover at a faster rate than those patients who did not practice gratitude. Interestingly, Dr. Rollin McCraty of the Institute of Heart Math, found that feelings of gratitude could produce oxytocin in our brains, which can then reduce stress and help our nervous system relaxe. When our nervous system is relaxed, it allows the increase of oxygen to travel to the tissues of our body, which can enhance the healing process. For more tips on how to practice gratitude, consider watching Dr. Amit Sood’s [video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwPtJ6yjl8E) on the Five Depths of Gratitude. **Laugh a Little** Researchers at the University of Maryland Medical Center found that when people engaged in laughter it could reduce their risk of a heart attack due to the reduction in stress levels. Additionally, Dr. Lee Ber of Loma Linda University found that laughing could produce human growth hormones that can aid in cellular repair. So, if you find yourself feeling sad, ill, or simply wishing to improve your overall well being, try watching a funny movie, or reading a few jokes in order to help your body heal. If you are having trouble finding something to laugh about, take a look at [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HJG63EXCmw) Ted Talk by Ida Abdalkhani on how to become happier in five minutes. **Express Yourself When emotions are bottled up with no way to express them, they can be dangerous to your health. [Researchers](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/self/the-link-between-emotions-and-health.html) at Michigan found that when emotions are suppressed, the risk for a heart attack increases significantly. In a different [study](http://www.alternative-cancer-care.com/cancer-anger-link.html), researchers found that repressing emotions, particularly anger can be linked to cancer, and that the survival rate of breast cancer survivors who expressed their anger in healthy ways doubled compared to those who held on to their anger. That being said, it is important to learn to express your emotions in healthy ways, in order to improve your health. Some of the ways that can be done is through journaling, drawing, painting, yoga, or talking to a professional. For more ideas on how to express your emotions in a healthy way, take a look at this [post](http://www.shelleycarson.com/blog/use-creativity-to-combat-negative-emotions) by Dr. Shelly Carson. **Feel Better Inside and Out** We are designed to feel a range of emotions, both positive and negative. How we choose to deal with emotions can improve our well being or cripple it. As you go about your daily life, find time to notice your emotions and create moments in which you can address them in healthy ways: by being grateful, laughing, or expressing them in creative ways. Once you begin to do this, you will notice a shift, not only in your emotional health, but also in your physical health. References Abdalkhani, I. (2015, March 15). Happier in 5 Minutes | Ida Abdalkhani | TEDxOhioStateUniversity. Retrieved February 12, 2016, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HJG63EXCmw Anastasia Stephens, A. (2011, August 24). The link between emotions and health. Retrieved February 11, 2016, from https://www.psychologies.co.uk/self/the-link-between-emotions-and-health.html Beck, J. (2015, November 18). How to Get Better at Expressing Emotions. Retrieved February 11, 2016, from http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/11/how-to-get-better-at-expressing-emotions/416493/ Carson, S. (2012, February 21). Use Creativity to Combat Negative Emotions. Retrieved February 12, 2016, from http://www.shelleycarson.com/blog/use-creativity-to-combat-negative-emotions Sood, A. (2015, October 24). Five Depths of Gratitude. Retrieved February 11, 2016, from https://youtu.be/bwPtJ6yjl8E The Link Between Cancer and Unexpressed Anger. (2006). Retrieved February 12, 2016, from http://www.alternative-cancer-care.com/cancer-anger-link.html ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Manet-Castaneda-Fuller-Life-Headshot-scaled-e1631305448934.jpg) Manet Castaneda [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) Mental Health Sex Therapy Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Emotional Intelligence, Gratitude, Mental Health, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Care Practices **Tags:** emotions, expression, gratitude, happiness, wellness --- ### [Communication: Do the Words You Choose Determine the Response You Get?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/communication-do-the-words-you-choose-determine-the-response-you-get/) **Published:** October 29, 2015 **Author:** Taylor Knox **Content:** We’ve all been there. It starts out with a mindless comment, “You never clean the kitchen. It feels like I am the only one in this house who ever cleans up.” Before you know it you’re in an argument over who-knows-what and neither of you understand how it even began. Often times, ineffective communication can create a gap where the sender intends one message, but the receiver hears something totally different. Luckily, there is help. With a little mindfulness, communication in relationships can be improved. It starts with learning about common habits that lead to ineffective communication. After reading this blog series, you will understand how we sometimes unintentionally send a negative message and how we can change these messages to be more effective in communicating what we are really trying to say. ### **Characteristics of ineffective communication: Part One** #### ***“You” Language Plus Directives*** People often use certain types of “you” language that elicit a negative response from the listener, such as, ”you need to,” “you should,” and “you better.” Directives or statements that give orders or pass negative judgments on people are often paired with these “you” statements and the result is frequently a negative response from the listener. Avoid saying things like: - “You better not miss class again.” - “You have to listen to me.” - “You are doing it wrong.” **“You should** pay more attention” How would you respond if someone said that to you? Most people do not like to be told what to do. By nature, statements like this often provoke a “no” response. The receiver of these types of messages feels defensive or resentful. If we should avoid using “you” language, what can we use instead? I-statements are a tool that can be used to assign the emotional responsibility to the speaker rather than blaming the listener. [I-statements](https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cui-bono/201211/are-i-statements-better-you-statements) use the pronoun “I” which helps the speaker take ownership of the statement. #### Effective I-statements contain three elements: - A brief, non-blaming, description of the behavior you find unacceptable - Your feelings - The tangible and concrete effect of the behavior on you Examples of effective I-statements: - I felt disappointment when the principal called with another report of misconduct. - I feel frustrated when I’m not heard and I need to repeat myself. - I feel angry when I have to redo things. I-statements allow the receiver to understand and relate to the emotional response the sender is having and in turn they are more likely to modify their behavior accordingly. ***Universal Statements*** “**You always** do this” Universal statements are troublesome in many ways. First, universal statements mean that the sender of the message believes there is no room for change. They also discourage change by pointing out what is wrong in the person, rather than what they are doing correctly. Lastly, and most likely to provoke an argument, universal statements are very easy to dispute. The receiver of the message only has to come up with one example that contradicts the statement. For example, “You never wash the car” can be contradicted with “That is not true, I washed it the second week we had it, two years ago.” Universal statements are over-generalized, negative, and an easy way to begin an argument. Often paired with “you” language, universal statements are generalizations about a person’s character or behavior with a negative emphasis. Common words to avoid using include: “so,” “always,” “never,” “again,” “everyone,” and “every time.” Avoid saying things like: - “You are **such** a slob.” - “You are **never** on time.” - “You did it wrong **”** Situational statements can be used in place of universal statements to change the response the sender elicits. By reframing the problem behavior into a specific situation, the sender communicates that there is room for improvement and change. This can be more motivating to the person receiving the message. Situation specific statements are also useful when addressing negative behaviors because they allow the sender to speak to a certain situation where there is room for improvement, without overgeneralizing the negativity to the person’s character. Try using statements like: - “I am concerned about the struggle to keep things tidy lately.” - “It would mean a lot to me if you could please let me know when you will be late.” - “This didn’t work out so well. What can we do differently next time?” Once we learn to recognize the ineffective habits we have in communicating, we can work towards finding better ways to communicate. - Recognizing “you” plus directives and universal statements is a great place to start. - Next, see if you can replace these with I-statements and situational statements to change the response from the receiver. Check back in for part two on ineffective communication to learn more tools for better communication. You can also get more information on ineffective communication in Preston Ni’s [Communication Success](https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201205/are-you-poor-communicator-how-improve?collection=101809). If you found this blog to be helpful, feel free to hit the “share” button; your friends and family may find it useful as well. Stay tuned, ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Taylor-Knox-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-1024x773.jpg)[Tay](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/taylor-knox/)[lor Knox, Practicum Therapist](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/taylor-knox/) Supervised by Amy Fuller PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Taylor-Knox-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-e1486988512714.jpg) Taylor Knox [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/taylorknox/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/taylorknox/) Relationships Anxiety **Categories:** Communication, Couples, Relationships, Social Skills, Sticky **Tags:** Communication, couples, relationships, social skills --- ### [Feel the Fire: Embracing Conflict](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/feel-the-fire-embracing-conflict/) **Published:** June 21, 2016 **Author:** Shani Bell **Content:** Many articles about conflict focus on the resolution process as the savior of personal and business relationships. But let’s discuss the benefits of mentally embracing the conflict, itself. A common belief is that conflict indicates a breakdown in the relationship. But the reality is that wrestling successfully with conflict can serve to [strengthen the relationship as well as each individual’s character and sense of self](http://crucibletherapy.com/crucible-intensive-therapy-kinds-issues). **Back to the Fire** Are you one of many people that say, “I hate conflict”? Then you know what it is like to dodge potentially incendiary conversations by putting on a good face in order to keep the peace. You find yourself agreeing to disagree before the subject of disagreement is even thoroughly presented. Maybe you put an end to the conversation, or even the entire relationship, at the slightest hint of a differing perspective. But what sort of relationship can only exist if everyone thinks the exact same way all of the time? And how effective is a partnership where you can only discuss the topics on which you agree? It is time to stop taking a fearful approach to conflict and avoiding deeper issues brewing underneath surface. [According to Michael Batshaw](http://psychcentral.com/lib/how-conflict-can-improve-your-relationship/), LCSW and author of *51 Things You Should Know Before Getting Engaged*, “…conflict isn’t going to end the relationship, it’s avoiding the conflict \[that might\].” So there’s good reason to embrace interpersonal conflict. If managed well, the results can be [more openness towards differing opinions, beliefs and values](https://gbr.pepperdine.edu/2010/08/using-conflict-to-your-advantage/), increased cohesion, and greater authenticity. Instead of turning your back to the fire, encourage yourself to go back into the fire! Do this by challenging your view of what a disagreement means. - For one, [disagreement does not necessarily indicate relational incompatibility](https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201009/can-you-and-your-partner-agree-disagree). It simply means that you and your friend, partner, spouse or family member are two different people with differing experiences, interests and personalities. Imagine that! - Additionally, **the objective of engaging in the conflict is NOT to *win****.* When disagreements are based on two subjective opinions, you would be hard-pressed to find a winner. Rather, you are seeking to be your most honest self in the relationship, to learn to accept differences and to find resolution. - **They are not the enemy.** When you fight to win, you make the other person the enemy. Instead of sharing ideas, you gather ammunition. Perceiving your partner or loved one in this manner is a sure-fire way to invite greater problems into the conflict. - **Conflict creates opportunity.** When people are honest about who they are and what they think, and are willing for the other do the same, they open themselves to see the world from a different perspective. Being open to another viewpoint does not require you to agree, but it does challenge you to widen your lens. You also get the chance to explore creative problem solving. **The Fire Within** Relationships are only one way to embrace conflict. You do not always (necessarily) need to step outside of yourself to encounter a struggle. At various points in life, each of us will experience inner conflict. It can have its benefits as well. Read more about this topic in the follow-up to this blog, *Inner Conflict: Harnessing the Fire Within.* After embracing the conflict, it is still vitally important to address it in a healthy manner that leads to resolution and personal and relational growth. If you need help with conflict resolution (either internal or external), contact Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute. ![Shani Bell](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Fuller-Life-2018-Shani-Bell-LPC-ATR-copy-1.jpg) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Fuller-Life-2018-Shani-Bell-LPC-ATR-copy-e1555973058147-300x210.jpg)Contributed by [Shani Bell, MAAT, LPC-Intern](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shanibell/) Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S References Seltzer, L. F. (2010). Can you and your partner agree to disagree?: Expert advice on why we hate disagreemet and how to live with it. *Psychology Today.* Retrieved from Tartakovsky, M. (2016). How conflict can improve your relationship. *Psych Central.* Retrieved from Tomkins, T. C. & Rogers, K. S. (2004). Using conflict to your advantage: Butting heads is not always bad. *Graziado Business Review, 7*(1). Retrieved from What kinds of issues are addressed: Intensive therapy addresses critical issues. (n.d.). Retrieved from ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Fuller-Life-2018-Shani-Bell-LPC-ATR-copy-1-e1631304334456.jpg) Shani Bell [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) Art Therapy Mindfulness Anxiety **Categories:** Communication, Emotions and Relationships, Marriage, Premarital, Problem Solving, Relationships **Tags:** Communication, emotions and relationships, Problem Solving, relationships --- ### [Inner Conflict: The Refining Fire](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/inner-conflict-refining-fire/) **Published:** September 13, 2016 **Author:** Shani Bell **Content:** **Heartburn?** People tend to think of internal conflict as torturous personal turmoil. A big decision must be made, or a circumstance must be handled. You wrestle with yourself in the middle of the night and feverishly try pushing uncomfortable thoughts out of your mind all day. You view the internal conflict, itself, as the problem and you struggle against it or try to ignore it. But imagine how your experience might be different if you consciously and compassionately acknowledged the presence of differing opinions within yourself? The healthiest way to respond to nagging discomfort of inner conflict is to face it. By facing inner conflict, you have the opportunity to gain a strengthened sense of self, better problem-solving skills, increased authenticity, more self-compassion and increased integrity. But there’s no need to gather weapons and scream your battle cry. The conflict is not the enemy. Think of it like a puzzle that requires mindful and nonjudgmental investigation. **Or Friendly Fire…** [Linda Adams, President of Gordon Training International](http://www.gordontraining.com/free-workplace-articles/how-do-you-deal-with-inner-conflict/), says that when we truly look at our inner conflict, without judgment, and commit to healthy resolution, we become more of our authentic selves and more aware of our needs. One way to approach inner conflict is to: - Make a list or chart of the varying options with which you are struggling. - Beside each, list the reasons why you would find this option valuable - Then list the perceived consequences or opportunity costs for each option Now you have externalized your inner conflict so that you can take a more objective view. As you investigate, you might notice that you are considering certain options because they are what you “should” do. From [Dr. Miki Kashtan’s perspective](https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/acquired-spontaneity/201510/attending-inner-conflict), this implies the presence of an externally imposed value from sources like your community, friends or family. You might notice that these do not exactly mesh with values that are authentic to you. The result is the discomfort of conflict. As you mindfully consider your inner conflict, you might find other sources of discomfort such as fear, unmet needs or perceived personal limitations. Whatever needs, values and insights are discovered, allow yourself the space and compassion to honestly acknowledge them. When you become more aware of the sources of your conflict, you gain clarity about what is important to you. Only then can you make choices from a position of self-awareness. Many times, the push and pull of personal decision making comes from our view that for any one problem, there are two possible, and polar opposite choices. “I will go to work, or I will call in sick and go to the game” for example. It becomes an either/or dilemma. [Dr. Kashtan](https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/acquired-spontaneity/201510/attending-inner-conflict) highlights the limitations of either/or thinking, which gives the impression that sacrifice of one need, or another is always necessary to resolve inner conflict. She instead proposes devising a strategy that allows you to attend to as many needs and values as possible. By investigating your desire to go to the game, you uncover a need to fully experience and enjoy life. You also value integrity which leads to uneasiness about lying to your boss. Knowing this, is it possible to find an event that allows you to enjoy life while maintaining your integrity and going to work? Addressing internal conflict while making life decisions can become a complex adventure. If you need help finding your way, consider contacting a mental health professional in your area. If you need help with conflict resolution (either internal or external), contact Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Fuller-Life-2018-Shani-Bell-LPC-ATR-copy-1.jpg) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Fuller-Life-2018-Shani-Bell-LPC-ATR-copy-e1555973058147-300x210.jpg)Contributed by [Shani Bell, MAAT, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shanibell/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Fuller-Life-2018-Shani-Bell-LPC-ATR-copy-1-e1631304334456.jpg) Shani Bell [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) Art Therapy Mindfulness Anxiety **Categories:** Anxiety & Panic, Anxiety Issues, Emotional Intelligence, Self-Care Practices, Stress Management **Tags:** counseling, Inner Conflict, mental health, Self-Awaraness --- ### [Boundaries Part I](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/boundaries-2/) **Published:** March 22, 2012 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** Here is a fun exercise: Get out a piece of paper and a pencil. Look at the diagram below. You are represented by the smiley face in the middle. The other bubbles represent responsibilities in your life. Now draw similar bubbles that represent your own life. Include spouse, children, friends, household duties, and anything else that represents where you spend your time and energy. Now, pretend that you have $100. This represents your time and energy. Designate funds to each bubble that show how much time and energy you spend in that area. (For example: $20 for your spouse, $20, for your children, $15 for your work, $10 for friends, etc.) Remember you only have $100 to share. Remember to put some money in your own circle. You cannot take care of all of these responsibilities without taking care of yourself. Look at the drawing you created. It gives you a beautiful, graphic illustration of where you spend your time and energy. The goals of this exercise are to help you: *prioritize* the things that are important in your life. make sure you are not *overspending* your time and energy. Overspending your time and energy leads to burnout, anxiety and depression. make *healthy decisions* about where your time and energy are spent. **Prioritize:** When we say “yes” to something, we are automatically saying “no” to something else. Pretend that your great aunt Edna needs you to spend a lot of time with her right now. As a matter of fact, she wants $30 of your $100 worth of time and energy. Because you only have $100, you will have to shift your time and resources away from other important responsibilities, such as your spouse, children, friends, or work in order to meet Aunt Edna’s request. If Aunt Edna takes more of you than you are able to give, you may become overwhelmed, stressed, and eventually burnout. It is important to gently set some limits as to how much time you can spend reasonably. Another important tool is your calendar. If the PTA calls and asks if you have some time to spare, *give yourself some space* to check your calendar before saying “yes.” Then, let them know how much time you can give. If you are booked, let them know that you can help out at a later date when your calendar lightens up. This approach allows you to joyfully say “yes” when you actually have the time and energy to say “yes.” Saying “yes” when you are already overwhelmed is always a “no” to taking care of yourself and your most important priorities. **Overspending**: When I think about how much money I need to put in my personal circle, I like to use the concept of *Daily Minimum Requirements (*Louden, J, 2007). Daily minimum requirements are the absolute minimum we need to feel like a human being each day. This may take a few weeks to figure out for yourself. Everyone is different. It took me a couple of months of observing myself to realize that my daily minimum requirements include things like taking vitamins, eating right, light exercise, a nap, spirituality, connecting with my spouse and kids, etc. Daily minimum requirements change in different stages of life, and become even more important in overly stressful crisis periods, such as when a family member is ill. If you neglect your own self-care, your body will suffer. When we budget time each day to meet these essential needs, we have more energy and time to spend on the things that are important to us. **Healthy Decisions:** Practicing boundaries helps people make informed decisions that honor your health and the most important people in your life. It takes practice to learn to say “no.” And, sometimes the people who hear you say “no” may have a difficult time understanding, especially if you have said “yes” to everything in the past. You need to remember that *you are not responsible to please everyone*. Boundaries allow us to take responsibility for ourselves and for those relationships on the top of our lives! Louden, J. (2007). The Life Organizer: A Woman’s Guide to a Mindful Year. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Boundaries, Counseling, Couples, Family Therapy, Marriage, Relationships **Tags:** couples, families, marriage, relationships --- ### [Flying from Anxiety in January](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/flying-from-anxiety-in-january/) **Published:** January 18, 2013 **Author:** Scott Rampy **Content:** [![Flight from anxiety-provoking relationships is an instinctive move but perhaps harmful. ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Escape-300x231.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/flying-from-anxiety-in-january/escape/)Flight from anxiety-provoking relationships is an instinctive move but perhaps harmful. Not only does January mean the beginning of a new year, it also means the end of the holiday season. While for a blessed few the holidays is a time of peace, joy, and happiness, for many it means stress, reignited family disputes, heartache and heartburn. For eleven months one can easily go without meaningful interaction with extended family members. Yet compressed into one 6 week period from Thanksgiving to New Years are numerous family celebrations, meals, recitals, and traditions. While ideally these times of family interaction are welcome, for everyone family creates a degree of anxiety, whether tremendous or minute. What do we do in the face of anxiety? Consider the T-baller with the cute uniform picking daisies in the outfield, who only moments ago couldn’t round the bases despite the coaches and fans best persuasive efforts. Now she looks like Marion Jones going for the gold as she flees for dear life away from the bee who wasn’t quite done with that daisy. Or the deer in the headlights who knows very well that in the battle between deer and car, deer always loses, yet doesn’t move out of the road. Or a mama mountain lion who notices that a hiker has strayed between her and her kids. The instinctive reaction in the face of anxiousness is fight, flight, or freeze. In our current American culture we commonly resort to passive flight from family members – not visiting, not grabbing coffee, not hopping on Skype, not texting, not calling or emailing. We actively maintain our distance with zero energy expended. But the ironic thing is this: despite physical distance the anxiety of a strained relationship doesn’t go away. Although perhaps pushed out of consciousness, it remains present and drains our emotional energy. Cut-off simply doesn’t work. There is another option instead of the animalistic fight/flight/freeze response. Move towards the anxiousness. Initiate contact with your family. The ability to emotionally self-regulate is a significant part of the difference between humans and animals. Family systems theorist Dr. Murray Bowen suggests being aware of the anxiety in the system, noting the anxiety evoked in oneself, and maintaining one’s composure. That is to say, staying in the thinking mode and not letting the emotions of the situation overtake you. Dr. Bowen extended this theory of differentiation to suggest that our level of reactivity to anxiety in our family system is reflective of our tendency to be reactive in other stressful situations as well. One cannot overcome a fear of heights from the ground below. Likewise one cannot become free of emotional reactivity without engaging with their family. ![Extraordinary Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/51gENqibFRL._BO2204203200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-clickTopRight35-76_AA300_SH20_OU01_.jpg) For more about these concepts, check out [Roberta Gilbert’s *Extraordinary Relationships*.](http://www.amazon.com/Extraordinary-Relationships-Thinking-About-Interactions/dp/047134690X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1358475834&sr=1-1&keywords=roberta+gilbert) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Scott-Rampy-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Scott-Rampy.jpg)[Scott Rampy, M.MFT, LMFTA](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/scott-rampy/) Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6829-e1631305127874.jpg) Scott Rampy [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) Mental Health Family Therapy Relationships Divorce, Separation, Blended Families **Categories:** Anxiety & Panic, Emotions and Relationships, Empathy, mental health,, Self-Care Practices **Tags:** Bowen, families, relationships, stress --- ### [Collector, Minimalist or Hoarder: Whoever Dies with The Most Toys Wins](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/whoever-dies-with-the-most-toys-wins-collectors-minimalists-hoarders/) **Published:** December 22, 2016 **Author:** Laura Cardella **Content:** What is your lifestyle? Did you arrive at this style intentionally? Or did you wake up one day asking, “Where did I get all this stuff?” Some of us are very purposeful about what we collect. We plan our lives so that we buy a house by age 25, upgrade to a bigger house by 30, and purchase a camper and boat by age 40. ### **The Intent to Stay Small** On the other hand, some keep their possessions so few they can pack up and move without renting a van. These are minimalists. They shop at secondhand stores for their family’s clothing. They grow and consume their own produce. A bicycle is their primary transportation, using a car only for lengthier trips. Minimalists are often motivated by a prudent use of the ecosystem. They struggle to accept that “12 percent of the world’s population living in North America and Western Europe account for 60 percent of private consumption spending.” ### **Your Neighborhood’s Style** Within your own neighborhood, you may see signs of lifestyles affected by increasing consumption. Do you see storage units flourishing in your community? Parking lots built for extraneous boats, trailers, huge RVs being stored behind high fences? The size and décor of homes is showcased on several Home and Garden TV series. [Tiny Houses](http://www.fyi.tv/shows/tiny-house-hunting/season-1?s_kwcid=AL!4813!105!30659745092!s!294959075547&ef_id=V9xy5QAABJOd3tb7:20161215042658:s) is about homes which shelter families in a space of 150 square feet or less. On the other side of the spectrum, the ubiquitous house hunting and remodeling programs showcase large homes with expensive décor. ### **New Careers for the 21st Century** Our love for collecting is contributing to the flourishing professional organizing business which has sprung up worldwide in just the last 25 years, creating new niche careers. [Ellen Delap](http://professional-organizer.com), a local certified organizer, attests to the growing popularity of people consulting organizers to make their homes more livable and less cluttered. A Japanese organizer, Marie Kondo, is famous for her tidiness program. She began developing her method when she was a five- year-old interested in home organization. Her first book, “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up” describes a scaled down and totally tidied home life. Kondo can be seen on YouTube**,** Marie Kondo: “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up” | Talks at Google [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1-HMMX\_NR8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1-HMMX_NR8) ### Too Much of a Good Thing?** Recent television shows bring “hoarding disorder “one of the newer mental health problems, to our attention. Television illustrates people with hoarding disorders living in the chaos of their own homes. These programs display piles of newspapers, boxes of unworn shoes or unopened toys. Piles of clothing barely leave space to walk through the home. Do you think these homeowners are inundated by their offspring’s’ discarded childhood treasures? Have they inherited their relations’ household furnishings and lifetime collections? Not necessarily. ### **Hoarding Disorder** Actually, hoarding does not require help from either of these sources. Hoarding disorder is characterized by ongoing difficulty in discarding possessions. Hoarders try to “save” the items, even though they are not needed and there isn’t adequate space for their collection. They do not perceive anything abnormal about these behaviors. Having “excessive acquisitions” is often denied by hoarders, who typically feel anxiety when others try to limit their collecting. The two to six percent of Americans and Europeans displaying hoarding symptoms are predominantly males over 55 years of age. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), 75% of hoarders also suffer from a depressive or anxiety disorder. ### **Downsizing** Another phase in the life of consumers is the downsizer. These are people who are at retirement age. They no longer need to build a home for future children. This segment of the population: - Is happy with their lives and comfortable with purging any excess and, - Enjoy the freedom of having fewer possessions to keep tidy and in good repair. On the other hand, some of them: - Live with regret for unrealized dreams. - Are not ready to step down from their leadership roles at work, in the community and church. - Are unwilling to pass the torch to younger generations. - Have declining social networks as increasing numbers of their friends and families die. - Are shifting from participant to bystander at work or in their communities. - After downsizing their possessions, they may opt for the convenience of apartment or senior community living. What’s your lifestyle? Have you arrived at this intentionally? Are you content with your circumstances? Do you allow others to enjoy their own way of life, although it may differ from yours? Perhaps you might take time to consider which category best describes your lifestyle. If you find you or someone you care about needs help with hoarding, here are some resources that may be helpful. - [International OCD Foundation](https://iocdf.org) - [The Hoarding Disorder Resource and Training Group](http://hoardingdisordergroup.education) - Resources For Families and Children of Hoarders - [Help for Hoarders: Resources for Hoarders and Their Loved Ones](http://abcnews.go.com/Health/hoarders-resources-hoarders-loved/story?id=14223831) This holiday season may highlight the differences between family and friends’ various styles of living and giving. You will be challenged as you try to buy the perfect gift for those having different styles than your own. If you are a minimalist who objects to wastefulness, your values may clash with those who are not mindful of over consumption. And as a minimalist receives gifts, they may have to bite their tongue while receiving the gift offerings of their friends who are collectors. Whatever your circumstance, let us remember, “Peace on earth to all!” Laura is an LPC-Intern, under supervision of Dr. Amy Fuller, LPC-S, in Houston, Texas. [fullerlifefamilytherapy.0rg ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Laurie-Cardella-Fuller-Life-Headshot-e1486988355384.jpg) Laura Cardella [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/laura-cardella/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/laura-cardella/) Mental Health Stress and Anger Management **Categories:** Cognitive Reframing, Lifestyle, Mindfulness Practice, Social Skills, transitions **Tags:** acceptance, anxiety, Hoarding Disorder, mental health, self-awareness --- ### [5 Questions People Who Might Have Major Depression Ask Themselves](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/major-depression/) **Published:** December 6, 2016 **Author:** Angela Blocker **Content:** Major depression or clinical [depression](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resources/depression/) can feel overwhelming. Spending time with family and friends or doing activities that were once enjoyable may feel exhausting and emotionally taxing. Those struggling with may find themselves asking tough questions that could indicate undiagnosed major depression. ### “Was Life This Hard Before?” [Depression](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resources/depression/) affects the basic human functioning of a person and hinders everyday life. Mix together a tragic event with debilitating negative self- thoughts, insomnia/hypersomnia, undereating/overeating, well-meaning but misunderstanding family and friends, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster. This is not to mention daily stressors from everyday responsibilities. Soon, beginning each day becomes more difficult and spending time with loved ones requires more energy. Major Depression also looks like disinterest in activities and hobbies previously enjoyed. Over time, the walk-through life becomes a cyclical trudge of monotony and listlessness. ### “What’s Wrong with Me?” Many factors contribute to depression. Major events, such as death or loss, genetics, serious illness, certain medications, abuse, or financial circumstances can trigger the onset of depression. Often, combinations of these happen simultaneously – leading to an increased likelihood of major depression. Moreover, most sufferers are unaware of the compounded effects and do not seek help until their symptoms are unbearable. ### “Am I Alone?” According to the National Institute on Mental Health, [16.1 million](https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/prevalence/major-depression-among-adults.shtml) people experienced at least one major depressive episode during the year 2015. Notably, one out of two people will have some form of depression in their lifetime. It affects every demographic and is found in all cultures. ### “Why Won’t I Get Help?” One of the main reasons individuals who may have major depression do not seek help is shame for not being ‘normal’. A [study](http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00406-009-0870-y) from a group of European psychiatric researchers found that the impact of shame for depression towards oneself was greater than anticipated shame by others. In other words, how you view yourself influences whether you will seek help. In addition to shame, [Margarita Tartakovsker](http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/author/margarita/), Associate Editor of Psych Central, lists severity, questions about getting started, time and energy, and money as reasons for why people do not get help. While waiting may seem like a good idea, it can lead to longer depressive episodes, other illnesses and even suicide. In fact, depression is a completely treatable disease. ### “Where Do I Start?” If you, or someone you know, is experiencing increased feelings of sadness, low energy, decreased interest and/or difficulty participating in usual activities or hobbies, difficulty getting or staying asleep, thoughts of suicide, weight loss or gain , consider these options: 1. [Screen Yourself or a Loved One](https://www.adaa.org/iving-with-anxiety/ask-and-learn/screenings/screening-depression) 2. Seek out a physician or licensed mental health professional. 1. Psychiatrists are medical doctors who treat mental health illnesses by finding organic causes and can prescribe medication. 2. Psychologists are skilled in assessing and diagnosing mental health disorders and can provide therapy. 3. Licensed therapists are trained to evaluate and treat mental problems through counseling and therapy. 3. Talk to someone you trust about the changes you’ve see in yourself or a loved one 4. Become educated about [depression](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resources/depression/) in general 5. If you are having thoughts of suicide, please call 1. 1 (800) SUICIDE or 1(800) 784-2433 2. Go to the nearest emergency room. Depression can feel like it has taken away your natural resilience to life’s challenges. It can make you feel powerless. However, you can take action. You can get your life back. Fuller Life is here to restore you to health and advance you to a wholeness you never dreamed possible. See our Scoop it! Page on [Dancing with Depression.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dancing-through-depression/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Angela-Blocker-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Contributed by [Angela Blocker , M.A, LMFT Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Clinical Supervision by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) #### References - Bernstein, E. (2010, September 7). A way out of depression. . Retrieved from - Murray, C. J. L., & Lopez, A. D. (1996). The global burden of disease: A comprehensive assessment of mortality ans disability from diseases, injuries, and risk factors in 1990 and projected to 2020. Cambridge, MA: Published by the Harvard School of Public Health on behalf of the World Health Organization and the World Bank. - Orenstein, B. W. (2012, August 30). Beth W. Orenstein. . Retrieved from http://www.everydayhealth.com/hs/major-depression/if-depression-goes-untreated/ - Schomerus, G., Matschinger, H., & Angermeyer, M. C. (2009). The stigma of psychiatric treatment and help-seeking intentions for depression. European Archives of Psychiatry and Clinical Neuroscience, 259(5), 298–306. doi:10.1007/s00406-009-0870-y - Tartakovsky, M. (2013). What Prevents People From Seeking Mental Health Treatment?. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 15, 2016, from - Causes of depression. (2016, August 26). Retrieved October 15, 2016, from WebMD, http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/causes-depression#1 ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Angela-Blocker-LMFT-e1631303162413.png) Angela Blocker [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) Mental Health Play Therapy Parenting Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Cognitive Reframing, Counseling, Depression, Depression, Bipolar, Mental Health **Tags:** bipolar disorder, depression, Depression Screening, major depression --- ### [Baby Blues Gone Bad](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/baby-blues-gone-bad/) **Published:** September 8, 2016 **Author:** Laura Cardella **Content:** The promise of new life brings with it anticipation and dreams of a growing family. Happiness is what many of us think of when we await the arrival of a child. However, as many as 13- 20% of new mothers experience post-partum depression. Baby Blues is the name given to a natural transition period of two weeks after giving birth, when 70% of mothers experience high emotions and mood swings and anxiety about parenting an infant. Those who experience depression for periods longer than two weeks may be experiencing Post-Partum Depression (PPD). The third and most serious of these post-partum ailments is post-partum psychosis; but we will focus on post-partum depression in this article. ### **PPD’s Major Symptoms** The symptoms of post-partum depression match those of a major depressive episode and may include sadness, loss of interest in usual pursuits, poor sleep, lethargy, weight loss or gain, anxiety, feeling worthless or thoughts of suicide. ### **Post-Partum Psychosis** A more serious and less common ailment that may develop after childbirth is called Post-Partum Psychosis. Post-partum psychosis develops suddenly and may include cognitive problems such as delusions, confusion, inability to function, and thoughts of harming herself or baby. Post- partum psychosis is more serious than Baby Blues or Post-Partum Depression and requires immediate medical and mental health treatment. ### **Effects of Post-Partum Depression** Post-partum depression is severe enough to have both short and long term effects on mother and baby emotionally, socially and cognitively. Children of mothers suffering from PPD, who were tested from 7 days to 12 years of age, showed evidence of lagging at each developmental stage. Feldman(2009) claims mothers with PPD have “difficulty in supporting a child’s independence, creativity, executive functions, empathy and peer friendships, all functions that emerge during the preschool stage.” The low social interaction between a mother with PPD and her infant reflects the mother’s lack of energy and involvement. Early diagnosis and ongoing evaluation and treatment is necessary to minimize the negative effects to mother, baby and family. ### **Types of** **Mental Health Treatments** The types of psychotherapy used to treat post-partum depression may include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), non-directive counseling, hypnosis, art therapy, inter-personal therapy, relaxation exercises and problem solving techniques. Phone coaching has also been used for the convenience of the new mother. ### **Successful Treatment Programs Current successful treatment programs include: - The Scottish Mellow Babies programs post-partum therapy offered from the beginning of pregnancy as part of birthing classes Based on up-to-date research, [Mellow Parenting](http://www.mellowparenting.org/index.php/zoo/mellow-babies) designs programs to address gaps in current service provision which help to address social and health inequalities. The programs are piloted and evaluated thoroughly until the evidence suggests that they work effectively. - Hospitals that offer post-partum therapy for all mothers from the beginning of pregnancy during birthing classes. See a list of [postpartum locations here](http://www.postpartum.net/locations/texas/). - Pediatricians and therapists who partner to offer post-partum programs prescribing mothers’ counseling or group therapy sessions synchronized with appointments when the new baby sees a pediatrician. Postpartum depression: an update ### **Moving Forward Globally** Post-partum depression treatment is an area that needs further study and the development of best practices. Mothers suffer, infants fall behind developmentally, and families are stressed by post- partum depression. It is time to do something about this centuries old, worldwide illness. We urgently need awareness and timely therapy during this vulnerable post-partum time. ### **Who Will Answer?** Who will advocate for this population? Who will speak to the medical and mental health providers? Will you? Will you inform your doctors and encourage them to offer and promote proactive practices on behalf of the world’s littlest and weakest? Together we can improve lives of mothers, babies and families. Remember Fuller Life Family Therapy when you need a trained ear to listen. ### Resources: Clay, E.& Seehusen, D. (2004). A review of postpartum depression for the primary care physician**.** *Southern Medical* *Journal,* *97* (2):157-61; quiz 162. Feldman, R., & Eidelman, A. I. (2009) Biological and environmental initial conditions shape the trajectories of cognitive and social–emotional development across the first years of life**.** *Developmental Science, 12*(1), 194–200. Lewis, Carol; Byers, Allison; Malard, Sarah; and Dawson, Gregory. (2010). Challenges in diagnosing and Treating Post-Partum Blues, Depression and Psychosis. *Alabama Counseling Association* *Journal, 36*, 1. Murray, L., Cooper, P., Wilson, A. and Romaniuk, H. (2003). Controlled trial of the short- and long-term effect of psychological treatment of post-partum depression: 2. Impact on the mother-child relationship and child outcome**.** *British Journal of Psychiatry*, *182:*420-7. Puckering C. (2010). Mellow Babies: A group intervention for infants and mothers experiencing postnatal depression. *Counselling Psychology Review,* *25*(1), 28-40. Sit, Dorothy; Rothschild, Anthony; Wisner, Katherine L. (2006). “A Review of Postpartum Psychosis.” *Journal of Women’s Health (15409996) 15*(4), 352-368. [![Laura Cardella](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Laurie-Cardella-Headshot-150x150.png)](http://https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/lauracardella/)Laura L. Cardella, LPC Intern Supervised by Amy Fuller PhD, LPC-S ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Laurie-Cardella-Fuller-Life-Headshot-e1486988355384.jpg) Laura Cardella [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/laura-cardella/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/laura-cardella/) Mental Health Stress and Anger Management **Categories:** Depression, Depression, Bipolar, Mental Health, Parenting, Post Partum Depression **Tags:** anxiety, counseling, depression, mental health, post partum depression --- ### [How to Connect with Your Child When You Swear, He's Lost it](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4627-2/) **Published:** August 18, 2016 **Author:** Angela Blocker **Content:** “‘Mom, you never leave me a note in the middle of the night, and I hate homework!’ ‘What are you doing out of your bed? Go back to your room, and I don’t want to see you again until morning?'” If any of this sounds familiar, you aren’t alone. This is an excerpt is from The Whole Brained Child written by world renowned neuropsychiatrist [Dr. Daniel Siegal](http://www.drdansiegel.com/about/biography/) and inspiring speaker and author Dr. Tina Payne Bryson. In this best-selling book Dr. Siegal says the goal is to simply survive through the screaming in the grocery store moments, you can use these moments to connect and THRIVE. Dr. Siegel coaches’ parents to teach their children 12 self-regulatory techniques to use during a high intensity meltdown. One of the techniques is fueled by an understanding of a child’s left and right brain. ### Left and Right Brain Integration It is probably familiar knowledge that the brain consists of two hemispheres that function differently. The left brain is the literal and rational side. It values organization, lists, and problem-solving. The right brain is its opposite. It plays a part in emotional processing, facial recognition, tone, context, and alerts us to feeling sensations in our body. The integration of both hemispheres trains a child or teen to value their reasoning side and also their creative feeling side. However, human brains do not fully develop until the mid-twenties, so children are often dysregulated. Picture a teenager who says everything is fine, but you hear sobbing at night or a 3 year old screaming because his toy doesn’t fly like it does on the commercial. A parent who has tools to teach them to integrate earlier will help them learn to surf through big right brained waves of emotions and problem solve their way out of them in an understanding way ### Here’s one way method to try: #### Connect and Redirect When Tina’s son was upset because he couldn’t climb on the walls like Spiderman, she explains that would not have been the best time to explain the laws of physics because he was acting out of his right brain and any left brain information like logic would be counterproductive. In children, especially young children, the emotions of the right brain often take over the logic of the left brain. Parents connect with the emotional side of their child by interacting right brain to right brain. After connecting, the parents appeal to the logical and reasoning side of the child by connecting left brain to left brain through problem solving. #### What It Looks Like Step 1: Connect with the feeling side of your child’s right brain. Attempting to connect with them from a logical perspective by asking questions and seeking explanation can prove ineffective. Recognize that the feelings are real and important to your child. Connect through the use nonverbal signs such as eye contact, lowering yourself to the height of the child, physical touch and warm facial expressions. Alter your tone of voice to be nurturing and listen without judgment. Step 2: Redirect with the logical, linguistic and literal left brain. Sometimes the emotional waves just need to crash until the storm passes. After it passes, you can address your child’s left brain. He may simply need to eat or get some sleep. All the rules about respect and behavior still apply in moments of high emotion and inappropriate behavior (as defined by your family) remains off-limits. It may be a good idea to discuss misbehavior and its consequences after he has calmed down. In the scenario described above, Dr. Siegal and Dr. Payne give an example of the mother’s response using connect and redirect: “Mom, you never leave me a note in the middle of the night, and I hate homework!” “I get frustrated about things like that too. Want me to leave you a note, tonight? And I’ve got some ideas for homework, but it’s late now, so let’s talk more tomorrow.” Fuller Life is here to help you and your child face fewer crises and live more integrated lives. Are you more [Left-brained or Right-brained](http://testyourself.psychtests.com/testid/3178)? What about your [child](http://leftbrainchild.com/LeftBrainChildQuiz.html)? Using these tools could bring insight into you and your child’s interactions. Dr. Siegal explains, “Connect and Redirect” For the other 11 Strategies from The Whole Brained Child, go to http://www.drdansiegel.com/books/the\_whole\_brain\_child/ [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Angela-Blocker-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Contributed by [Angela Blocker, M.A, LMFT Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Clinical Supervision by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) References - Melina, R. (2011, January 12). What’s the Difference Between the Right Brain and Left Brain? Retrieved July 18, 2016, from http://www.livescience.com/32935-whats-the-difference-between-the-right-brain-and-left-brain.html - McClellan, A. (2012, May 29). Tapestry Adoption & Foster Care Ministry. Retrieved August 18, 2016, from http://tapestryministry.org/whole-brain-strategy-1-connect-and-redirect/ ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Angela-Blocker-LMFT-e1631303162413.png) Angela Blocker [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) Mental Health Play Therapy Parenting Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Adolescents & Children, Cognitive Reframing, Emotions and Relationships, Parenting, Stress Management **Tags:** adolescents, children, connection, left and right brain integration, parenting, parenting strategy --- ### [Lessons on Materialism as Told by Rock 'n' Roll Legends](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/lessons-materialism-told-rock-n-roll-legends/) **Published:** July 20, 2016 **Author:** Manet Castaneda **Content:** We live in a world in which we are constantly bombarded with images of celebrities and their flawless bodies, luxurious homes, the latest fashion trends, and the coolest gadgets. In the midst of all of these things it can be easy to be swayed towards the belief that we are supposed to live our lives according to the standards that society sets for us. Consider the following questions: - Do you believe that you would be happier if you just had more money? - Do you envy those who have nicer belongings than you do? - Do you and your partner worry about accumulating wealth and assets? If you answered yes to any of the questions above, you may want to consider whether you are placing a high level of importance on acquiring wealth, and if so, what potential side effects this type of thinking may have on your life and relationships. **I Can’t Get No Satisfaction** The Rolling Stones may have been on to something when they wrote *I Can’t Get No Satisfaction*, referring to not being satisfied by material things despite trying. Interestingly, according to Carolyn Gregorie of [The Huffington Post](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/15/psychology-materialism_n_4425982.html), Americans have more cars and eat out more than they did roughly 50 years ago. However, despite having more, Americans are still not happier. Research has found that, although the levels of consumption have risen in the past 50 years, Americans’ overall wellbeing has declined. You may be asking yourself, “Why does this all matter?” Well, if you believe that the solution to your problems is having more, you may want to take note that [research](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/15/psychology-materialism_n_4425982.html) has found having more does not necessarily mean you will be happier. In fact, it has found that those who work towards accumulating wealth and assets have a tendency to experience fewer positive emotions throughout their day and are less satisfied than those who do not pursue wealth. **Money Talks** In AC/DC’s popular song, *Money Talks*, part of the chorus says “Come on, come on, love me for the money,” as if having large amounts of money can make someone fall in love with you. Interestingly, [research](http://www.livescience.com/16529-materialism-hurts-marriage.html) has shown that individuals who are materialistic may find themselves in unhappy relationships compared to those who do not place importance on their belongings and the acquisition of more. Jason Carroll, professor of family life at Brigham Young University found this is true for all income classes. Additionally, his [study](http://www.livescience.com/16529-materialism-hurts-marriage.html) found that the least satisfying marriages were those in which both partners placed great importance on their possessions. Carroll and his research team developed theories as to how materialism can affect a relationship, and they believe that it could be that those couples who spend more time focusing on accumulating wealth spend less time working on strengthening their relationship. Another theory that Carroll and his team considered was that reckless spending habits caused couples to have more stress and more discussions. Therefore, they were more likely to be dissatisfied with their relationship. **Welcome to the Hotel California** The Eagles give their listeners a glimpse into the powerful trap of materialism in their popular song, *Hotel California*. The lyrics of the song paint a picture of a man caught in the life of luxury at the Hotel California, only to realize too late that he and everyone there “are all just prisoners… of \[their\] own device.” As if the effects of materialism listed above were not worrisome enough, [studies](http://www.livescience.com/16529-materialism-hurts-marriage.html) have found that individuals who are materialistic are also more insecure, anxious, and depressed than those individuals who are not materialistic. In a different [study](http://www.psychologicalscience.org/index.php/news/releases/consumerism-and-its-antisocial-effects-can-be-turned-onor-off.html), psychologist Galen V. Bodenhausen and his team of researchers found that students who were exposed to images of luxury items and words compared to students who were exposed to nature scenes, rated themselves higher in anxiety and depression than the other students. This research is important because it indicates that people who have a mind frame of materialism may have higher levels of depression and anxiety as opposed to those individuals who do not. **You Can’t Always Get What You Want** We live in a society that applies a great deal of pressure on its consumers to have more in order to be “happy.” We have been led to believe that satisfaction will come from collecting material things. However, this way of thinking does not guarantee happiness, stable relationships, or a reduction in anxiety and depression. In fact, being materialistic seems to provide the complete opposite by leading to less satisfaction, strained relationships, and higher levels of anxiety and depression. If living the life of a rock ‘n’ roll star is not the way towards a life of happiness and fulfillment, then how do you find satisfaction? Perhaps it might be found in engaging in the opposite of materialism, gratitude. Recent [studies](http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/materialism_gratitude_happiness) on happiness suggest that having deep feelings of gratitude beyond good manners could contribute largely to our happiness. With all of this in mind, just remember the wise words of Axl Rose, ” nothin’ lasts forever, even cold November rain.” Manet Castaneda Practicum Student Therapist Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT, LPC **[![Manet Headshot](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/Manet-Headshot-300x260.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/Manet-Headshot.jpg)** **To schedule an appointment please contact me by email at , by phone at [(832) 981-7690](tel:+8329817690), or through our [webform.](https://cryptnsend.com/flfti/flfti.html)** ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Manet-Castaneda-Fuller-Life-Headshot-scaled-e1631305448934.jpg) Manet Castaneda [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) Mental Health Sex Therapy Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Cognitive Reframing, Depression, Emotional Intelligence, Gratitude, Mindfulness Practice **Tags:** emotional intelligence, gratitude, mindfulness practice, stress management --- ### [The Secret Life of the Introvert](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/secret-life-introvert/) **Published:** January 12, 2017 **Author:** Shani Bell **Content:** ### The Myth Are you the life of the party? The center of attention wherever you go? Then, clearly you are an extrovert, right? Not necessarily. Traits like being outgoing, friendly and confident tend to be more closely associated with extroverts than with introverts based on public knowledge of these terms, but these are not the real tell-tale signs. If we take a closer look at the essence of an introvert, we might find some hidden introverts among the class of outgoing attention-getters. ### The Science According to researcher Jonathan Cheek, there are actually [four different types of introverts](http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2015/06/apparently-there-are-four-kinds-of-introversion.html). His STAR model includes social, thinking, anxious and restrained. The first type, social, more closely fits the common understanding of introvert. This describes someone who is not timid but avoids the crowd and would prefer to stay home alone than party with friends. The thinker is a type who is described as imaginative and introspective rather than nonsocial. Those who are considered the anxious type are, like the social type, more socially averse. Their dislike of the crowd is due more to fear than personal preference. Finally, the restrained type is simply slower to get moving. These introverts tend to take their time processing information, thinking deeply before responding to a situation. But that does not mean that once they get going, they shy away from a social situation. Scott Barry Kaufmann finds that there are thinkers and restrained types that still score highly for in enthusiasm and assertiveness, traits people usually associate with being extroverted. Kaufman even stated that the social- and anxious-introvert may have an inward aversion to crowds but still have a desire to be highly social that causes them to move past their apprehensions. You might actually know (or be) an introvert who pushes herself to be a social butterfly. So the science shows that determining the introvert is not quite as simple as comparing wallflowers to superstars. People are typically on a spectrum somewhere between introversion and extroversion. And introversion, itself, is a mixture of factors, such as introspection and [level of sensitivity to the environment](http://www.quietrev.com/why-introverts-and-extroverts-are-different-the-science/), that go beyond sociability. ### The Point Who really cares? You may wonder what the importance is of understanding introversion as a trait. Self-awareness and understanding those in your circle are key to properly caring for your own needs and knowing how to interact positively with others. Comprehending the tendencies of an introvert can help you identify when to give yourself or others space to re-energize. Knowing that you or a loved one may operate differently can lead to a greater sense of acceptance that nurtures positive relationship, either with yourself or the introvert in your life. The Test Do you think you are an introvert? Take this short test to see if you are and where you fit: Contributed by [Shani Bell, MAAT, LPC-Intern](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shanibell/) Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Fuller-Life-2018-Shani-Bell-LPC-ATR-copy-1-e1631304334456.jpg) Shani Bell [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) Art Therapy Mindfulness Anxiety **Categories:** Anxiety Issues, Emotional Intelligence, Mental Health, Self-Awareness, Social Skills, The Human Brain **Tags:** emotional intelligence, human brain, Introvert, self-awareness, social skills --- ### [You Find Drugs in Your Teen's Room-Now What?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/find-drugs-teens-room/) **Published:** January 26, 2017 **Author:** Angela Blocker **Content:** When you believe your child is using drugs it is hard to know what to do. Whether you found out from another parent, a teacher from school or from rummaging through their dirty room in search for forgotten football cleats—when you believe your child is using drugs moving forward can be a challenge. How do you confront your child in a way that will help without alienating your child and damaging your relationship? ### **Here are some thoughts to consider:** 1\. **Choose the moment**. While you may want to, greeting your child with an ambush after she walks through the door after school probably won’t end well. At the time of the conversation, it is important that your child is not high nor you so consumed with anger that listening becomes impossible. A high teen or preteen will not be focused on your words or remember them; and uncontrolled anger can distract from the goal of stopping your teen’s drug use. Teens can shut down when facing rejection or feeling unheard in the same way adults can and a volatile approach often leads to more harm than good. Use this as a moment of meeting with your child. 2\. **Focus on Facts.** Don’t preach or accuse. Your teen knows drugs are illegal, not healthy for them, and that you are not pleased. Phrases like “how could you be so stupid? You just need to stand up for yourself” are not going to be helpful to the conversation. In the same way, phrases or questions like “where did I go wrong with you” or “It’s all my fault isn’t it?” tend to be unproductive to the goal of stopping your teen’s drug usage. 3\. **Ask hard questions.** These questions let your child know that you are concerned about them and will do what is necessary to help them. Depending on the answers to these questions, you may need to consider substance abuse treatment option that ranges from outpatient therapy to inpatient intensive care. - Why is pot or a bong in your closet? Why did your teacher call me to tell me you were found in a bathroom smoking? - How long have you been using? - When and why did you first start? - How did you get access to the drugs? - Do you sell as well? 4\. **Listen.** After asking questions, give space to hear your child out. Seek to understand how this mistake happened and the events leading up to it. Determine other concerns impacting your child’s choice. 5\. **Set natural consequences.** Keep in mind you are demonstrating that you love and care for your child without condoning the behavior. The rules established should demonstrate realistic byproducts for their choices. The following types of questions will help you frame logical consequences for their actions. - Would you let a stoned person drive? - Should a stoned person be playing football? - How would a stoned person spend an allowance? 6\. **Destroy the drugs**. Don’t hide them. You want to prevent your teen from finding them. Officer Eduardo Martinez of Houston Police Department recommends having an officer pick them up to destroy them or dropping them off at your local police station. Finding out your teen is using drugs can provoke panic and anger. Choosing to focus on their health makes all the difference. A study performed by the University of Oregon created a positive parenting [checklist](https://www.drugabuse.gov/family-checkup) to encourage skills that prevent drug usage and help discontinue teen drug usage in the future. The best thing you can do is respond in an understanding, non-judgmental way so your teen will turn to you instead of drugs or alcohol for support. Please know there are many resources for parents and teens facing drug addiction. There are many clinics and professionals who can help you walk this journey to help your child thrive and restore family connections. - The [National Institute on Drug Abuse](https://www.drugabuse.gov/) offers an extensive collection of publications, articles and videos for parents to talk to their children about drugs and alcohol. It also offers a [step-by-step guide](https://www.drugabuse.gov/related-topics/treatment/what-to-do-if-your-teen-or-young-adult-has-problem-drugs) in English and en Español, to help you know where to start from [prevention](https://www.drugabuse.gov/related-topics/prevention), to [talking to a teen who refuses treatment](https://www.drugabuse.gov/related-topics/treatment/what-to-do-if-your-teen-or-young-adult-has-problem-drugs), to selecting[ the best treatment for this age group](https://www.drugabuse.gov/related-topics/treatment-research/principles-drug-abuse-treatment-adolescents-summary). Additionally, look at the [parent/educator page](https://www.drugabuse.gov/parents-educators) for free resources about teen drug use. - The [Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration](https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help) offers a [behavioral health treatment services locator](https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/) to assist you in finding a local center. Call their confidential, anonymous and secure helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (1-800-662-4357) or 1-800-487-4889 (TTY) to ask about treatment. They can also talk to you about centers that offer low- or no-cost treatment. References 1\. Dillon, P. (2013, October 12). What if I find drugs in my child’s room? What should I do? Retrieved Dec. & jan., 2016, from http://doingdrugs-darta.blogspot.com/2013/10/what-if-i-find-drugs-in-my-childs-room.html 1\. Dishion TJ, Nelson SE, Kavanagh K. The family check-up with high-risk adolescents: Preventing early-onset substance use by parent monitoring. *Behav Ther.* 2003;34(4):553-571. 2\. Dishion TJ, Kavanagh K, Schneiger A, Nelson S, Kaufman NK. Preventing early adolescent substance use: a family-centered strategy for the public middle school. *Prev Sci.* 2002;3(3):191-201. 3\. Stiles, M. (2012). Pot in your Teens room? Don’t Panic. – Positive Outlook Counseling – Positive Outlook Counseling. Retrieved January 18, 2017, from http://www.positiveoutlookcounseling.com/teens/pot-in-your-teens-room-dont-panic/ [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Angela-Blocker-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Contributed by [Angela Blocker , M.A, LMFTA](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Clinical Supervision by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Angela-Blocker-LMFT-e1631303162413.png) Angela Blocker [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) Mental Health Play Therapy Parenting Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Addiction & Recovery, Adolescents & Children, Communication, Parenting **Tags:** abuse, Addiction, adolescents, drugs, teenagers --- ### [The Value of Your Values](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-value-of-your-values/) **Published:** March 4, 2017 **Author:** Shani Bell **Content:** **Values?** Let’s start with what it means to have values. [Values](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-lRbuy4XtA) are the direction in which we live our lives. Clinician, [Steve Hayes](https://www.amazon.com/Get-Your-Mind-Into-Life-ebook/dp/B0054M063A/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1402367582&sr=1-1&keywords=get+out+of+your+mind+and+into+your+life), calls values “intentional qualities of action that join together a string of moments into a meaningful path. When Hayes talks of values, he’s referring to qualities like education, compassion, charity, creativity, etc. **Values are not Goals** Unlike goals, [values](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiPxLpYlw4I&feature=youtu.be) are not specific achievable activities. They are more like the concepts in life that we find to be important. For example, you might have a *goal* of becoming a social worker. Yet, that achievable *goal* comes from your *value* of helping others. Another important difference is that values can be lived daily. If you think it is important to help others, you don’t have to wait until you achieve your goal of becoming a social worker to do it. You can help an elderly lady cross the street or mow your neighbor’s lawn. You can find something to do every day that fulfills your values **Finding Values** We begin developing our sense of values when we enter the world. Our families and the way that we were raised heavily influence what we consider important. People often find that they have a moral code that is similar to that of their value. The same may be true of our spiritual beliefs. We do not always just absorb the values of our family. We filter them through our experiences, which can alter our values from those of our family. Say your mom put pressure on you to perform well in athletics because she valued achievement. You may adopt that same value, or you may want to avoid pressuring your children by encouraging more curiosity and fun instead. Many people also develop values that were absent in their childhood. For example, a man who grew up in poverty may be likely to value financial security. A woman who grew up in a foster care home may deeply value family connection. **Your Daily Values** Sometimes we do so without realizing it. We might think that acting towards our values only leads to the enjoyment of life. But look more deeply. While moving towards your values can often lead to enjoyment, you might also find challenges as well. Moving towards the value of health and fitness comes with the pain of aching muscles after a workout. Moving towards the value of sobriety comes with the pain of withdrawal and resisting urges. Values don’t always feel good. In the same way, moving away from values also causes pain, but in a different sense. While moving towards your values comes with the pain of change, there’s usually a sense of fulfillment at having done something that is important to you. But the pain of moving away from your values tends to cause disenchantment and a lack of fulfillment. In fact, both the states of disenchantment and fulfillment are actually cues you can use to begin exploring and identifying what you value. Clearly identifying your values is an important step to living them – on purpose – every day. Curious about what you value? Try completing one of [these exercises](https://workingwithact.com/2011/11/01/finding-true-north-how-to-clarify-values-part-2/). ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Shani-Bell-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-150x150.jpg)Contributed by [Shani Bell, MAAT, LPC-Intern](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shanibell/) Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Fuller-Life-2018-Shani-Bell-LPC-ATR-copy-1-e1631304334456.jpg) Shani Bell [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) Art Therapy Mindfulness Anxiety **Categories:** Emotional Intelligence, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Self-Awareness **Tags:** lifestyle, mental health, self-awareness, Values Versus Goals --- ### [Is Conformity Addictive?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-conformity-addictive/) **Published:** March 7, 2017 **Author:** Angela Blocker **Content:** ### **Even the best of us do it sometimes.** Standing in a coffee shop trying out a new drink ordered by the person in front of us – only to agree with our original judgement that it would be too sweet or just gross. It’s not unusual for people to change judgements and behaviors to conform in social settings. Conformity is a change in behavior or belief as a result of real or imagined pressure. Dr. Solomon Asch conducted a groundbreaking study designed to evaluate a person’s likelihood to conform to a standard under pressure. He took a group of participants and showed them pictures of lines with noticeably different sizes. (He told them it was a visual perception test) Participants were then asked to identify the longest line out of a group of four lines of distinctively different lengths. Pretty simple, eh? Well, Dr. Asch organized it so only one person was the true participant in the group. Everyone else was a paid actor scripted to give the wrong answer. Unexpectedly, the unpaid volunteer almost always agreed with the actor group. Asch’s study showed our common tendency to be heavily influenced by a group. It also demonstrated people tend to care more about being the same as others than about being correct. ### **Why? Our Brain Tells Us to Conform** Neurologically, our brains tell us something is off. [Vasily Klucharev](https://www.hse.ru/en/org/persons/84236477) of National Research University Higher School of Economics in Moscow found that disagreement a with group opinion triggers a kind of negative alert. “When you see a difference between your own opinion and that of others, the brain experiences an error signal,” reports neuroscientist Klucharev. “And when we detect that kind of error signal, it’s a signal to learn and adjust your behavior” The brain expects us to go along with the crowd and it doesn’t feel good not to. In fact, the degree to which your brain is activated for going against the crowd, the more your brain will tell you to change your behavior. ### **But That’s Not All** Our brain signals something is wrong when we go against the crowd; but it also rewards us when our opinion matches others. Chris Frith and Daniel Campbell-Meiklejohn, two researchers from the Aarhus University in Denmark and University College London, found that a part of the brain called the “ventral striatum” (a major part of the reward center of your brain) activated when rating pop songs. Whenever a participant’s rating matched the rating of two experts this pleasure part of the brain lit up. This observation shows that others’ opinions, when shared with your own, are rewarding. “That shared opinion is a reward like food or money,” says Campbell- Meiklejohn. “And it has the power to influence behavior.” A more recent study from the Chinese Academy of the Sciences published in 2016 found that these conformity patterns can lead to permanent changes in the areas of the brain associated with memory. The brain considers our past behaviors and experiences in situations and predicts what will happen in similar scenarios of the future. If we are behaving out of character, the brain screams “NO! don’t disagree”. The more we give into our brains, the higher the likelihood of conformity,[ or any other habit,](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4456-2/) happening again and again. Before we realize, it becomes a permanent pattern. ### **Go Against the Grain** Researchers are still unclear about the origins for the need to conform but the studies do lend themselves to being thought provoking and challenging. How often do you conform? Do you realize how often you do? What do you experience when you try to say no? It may be time to practice dancing to the beat of your own drum or at least say no to the seasonal drink at the coffeehouse. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Angela-Blocker-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Contributed by [Angela Blocker, M.A, LMFT Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Clinical Supervision by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ##### References - Campbell-Meiklejohn, D. K., Bach, D. R., Roepstorff, A., Dolan, R. J., & Frith, C. D. (2010). How the opinion of others affects our valuation of objects. Current Biology, 20(13), 1165-1170. - Klucharev V, Hytönen K, Rijpkema M, Smidts A, Fernández G (2009) Reinforcement learning signal predicts social conformity. Neuron. 15;61(1):140-51. - Sukel, Kayt. “News.” *Conforming Opinions Activate the Brain’s Reward Center*. The Dana Foundation, 2 Nov. 2010. Web. 17 Feb. 2017. - Whitbourne, Susan. “6 Ways to Stand Out From the Crowd.” *Psychology Today*. N.p., 14 Jan. 2017. Web. 17 Feb. 2017. ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Angela-Blocker-LMFT-e1631303162413.png) Angela Blocker [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) Mental Health Play Therapy Parenting Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Cognitive Reframing, Counseling, Mental Health, Self-Awareness, The Human Brain **Tags:** again conformity, conformity, habits, human brain, neurobiology --- ### [Hell Hath No Fury… Understanding Women's Anger](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/womens-anger/) **Published:** March 29, 2017 **Author:** Tamara Tatum **Content:** What comes to your mind when you think of an angry man? Powerful? Intimidating? Persuasive? How about an angry woman? Emotional? Hysterical? Bitchy? Anger is one of those emotions that can be challenging to express. It also appears to have a large divide in gender socialization. Arizona State University and the University of Chicago conducted a study to assess how people perceive anger in women versus anger in men. They had 210 undergraduate students participate in a computerized mock-jury simulation with five other “jurors”. In the scenario, one of the jurors (either male or female), called the “holdout”, would disagree with the participant’s opinion while the other four would agree. When the male holdouts expressed anger in the online conversation, the research participant showed less confidence in his or her opinion. However, when the female holdouts expressed anger, the participant became significantly more confident in his or her opinion. This happened even though the male and female holdouts made identical arguments. According to Salerno and Peter-Hagene (2015), these findings suggest that expressing anger can lead men to gain influence over others but lead women to lose influence. It is unclear why people perceive anger differently in men and women, but it is clear that there is a difference to the disadvantage of women. Sandra Thomas, researcher at University of Tennessee-Knoxville, spent 15 years studying women’s anger among Caucasian and African American women in the U.S., as well as women in Turkey and France, and asked the following questions. ### **What Makes Women Angry?** Thomas (2010) found that most women’s anger was related to “interpersonal interactions in which others deny women power or resources, treat them unjustly or behave irresponsibly toward them”. ### **How is Anger Experienced for Women?** The women in Thomas’s study expressed that anger is a confusing mix of feelings, and deeply connected with hurt, sadness and disillusionment. The women wanted – they wanted the people they cared about to show the same care for them. ### **(How) Do Women Express Anger?** Thomas found that only 9% of women reported that they would express anger to the person making them angry. Instead, the women would ruminate on their anger, leading to more resentment. It is not surprising, then, that few participants reported having female role models who expressed anger in healthy ways. Salerno and Peter-Hagene’s study as well as Thomas’s 15 years of research suggest a need for both the broader society as well as women specifically to gain a deeper understanding and appreciation of anger. ### **A New Way of Looking at Anger** [Karla McLaren](http://karlamclaren.com/about-karla/), author and researcher, says that, when we work with anger, it can be our ally and help us become more authentically ourselves. She writes that anger’s job is like an *“honorable sentry”* who helps set effective interpersonal boundaries and maintain a sense of justice for yourself and for others. [According to McLaren](http://karlamclaren.com/a-new-option-for-working-with-your-emotions/), suppressing anger leads to poorly defined boundaries between yourself and others. On the other hand, unhealthy anger expression, such as “exploding”, can lead to damaging relationships with others. She recommends taking a middle path called “channeling”, which means slowing down to listen to your emotions and then “completing the actions your emotions require so that they can recede naturally and gracefully”. When you notice anger rising after being insulted or receiving unfair treatment, the questions McLaren suggests asking yourself are *“what must be protected?*” and *“what must be restored?*” How you answer those questions will give you the information you need to act in a way that is empathic and authentic. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-150x150.jpg) Contributed by [Tamara Tatum, LMFT-Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tamaratatum/) Supervised by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ### Resources [https://works.bepress.com/sandra\_thomas/24/](https://works.bepress.com/sandra_thomas/24/) [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/people-reward-angry-men-but-punish-angry-women-study-suggests\_us\_561fb57be4b050c6c4a47743](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/people-reward-angry-men-but-punish-angry-women-study-suggests_us_561fb57be4b050c6c4a47743) [http://psycnet.apa.org/?&fa=main.doiLanding&doi=10.1037/lhb0000147](http://psycnet.apa.org/?&fa=main.doiLanding&doi=10.1037/lhb0000147) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-e1631305233968.jpg) Tamara Tatum [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) Mental Health Family Therapy Divorce, Separation, Blended Families Parenting Healing Trauma Relationships **Categories:** Anger Management, Emotional Intelligence, Emotions and Relationships, Mental Health, Self-Awareness **Tags:** anger, emotional regulation, women, women's anger --- ### [How Samantha Used Self-Talk to Turn Her Anxiety Around](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-talk-anxiety/) **Published:** April 20, 2017 **Author:** Taylor Knox **Content:** Samantha is a 34-year-old teacher who, like many people, struggles with anxiety and depression. She has a hard time motivating herself to get out of bed in the mornings knowing her day will be full of worry and fear. Her self-talk tells her she is worthless. She is embarrassed about her struggles and hates mostly everything about herself. One day she feels especially low and finds herself thinking about her life and how much she worries. The thoughts persist and before she knows it she is having a hard time breathing. Her chest is tightening, and she feels like she has lost control. This is not the first panic attack she has experienced. She is so sick of feeling anxiety is running her life. Feeling especially frustrated with herself the next day, she decides to get help by seeking therapy. The therapist helps Samantha realize that she can use her own internal dialogue to change how she experiences and thinks about things. As she practices and changes the way she talks to herself in her head, she notices her mood begins to shift. With persistence, Samantha is able to use her self-talk to stop panic attacks and relate to her anxiety differently. Her mood improves as she is kind to herself rather than beat herself up. These shifts empower Samantha. She is finally able to learn how to navigate her emotions rather than be overtaken by them. During one therapy session, Samantha becomes overwhelmed with anxiety and panic. She reads a [handout](http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f34/rational-thinking-self-talk-thought-stopping-reframing-2250/) about self-talk and learns she has the ability to choose what she says to herself in her head. Samantha’s automatic thoughts were telling her, “I can’t do this. I can’t breathe. It’s going to happen again. You’re so stupid for talking about this.” Rather than allowing her anxiety to choose her thoughts she decides to tell herself, “Breathe. You are going to be okay. It will pass. You can do this. Just breathe.” To Samantha’s surprise, she found panic and fear dissipated as she took deep breaths and talked herself out of the all-familiar anxiety spiral. Samantha feels empowered, like she can control her thoughts for the first time in a long time. She practices this concept with her normal day to day anxious thoughts and is amazed at how she keeps herself from spiraling. She does all of this by simply reminding herself to relax and changing the way she talks to herself. As Samantha learns to experience her anxiety differently, she notices she is becoming more motivated, and it is easier to get out of bed in the mornings. Her therapist notices and points out Samantha was still placing a lot of blame on herself. She is still making comments like, “I’m so dumb. I always mess things up. No one likes me because I’m depressing.” So, Samantha’s therapist challenges her to apply what she knows about self-talk to a new concept of [self-compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-compassion/). Next, Samantha practices an exercise called “Changing Your Critical Self-Talk.” She begins to notice the harsh ways she speaks to herself in her head and chooses kind and compassionate words instead. This takes a lot of practice. However, with time, the new way she talks to herself begins to shape the way she thinks about and sees herself. This has a powerful impact on her critical, anxious, and depressive thoughts. Samantha’s effort to challenge her automatic ways of talking to herself was not easy, yet she finds it worth the effort. Many people struggling with mild to severe anxiety or depression can benefit by changing the way they talk to themselves. Sometimes they can be successful alone and others may need the professional help of a therapist. So, if you or someone you know needs further help addressing anxious or depressive thoughts, there are therapists (at [Fuller Life Family Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) and all over the country) waiting to help. See if you can begin to change the things you say to yourself and notice the effect on your mood. ##### Read more on our blog about the power of compassionate Self-Talk: - [The Benefits of Self-Compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-compassion/) - [Scary Thoughts](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/scary-thoughts/) - [Create Balance: Living well in the midst of anxiety](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/live-well-anxiety/) - [Three simple ways to get yourself unstuck](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/getunstuck/) Stay tuned, [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Taylor-Knox-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/taylor-knox/) [Taylor Knox, LPC-Intern](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/taylor-knox/) Supervised by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LPC-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Taylor-Knox-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-e1486988512714.jpg) Taylor Knox [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/taylorknox/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/taylorknox/) Relationships Anxiety **Categories:** Anxiety & Panic, Anxiety Issues, Cognitive Reframing, Counseling, Self-Awareness **Tags:** anxiety, cognitive reframing, self-awareness, self-compassion, Self-talk --- ### [The Practice of Resilience](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/practice-resilience/) **Published:** May 8, 2017 **Author:** Angela Blocker **Content:** Everyone reaches a point when moving forward seems impossible. You feel you’ve given your best in your marriage, with your family and in your friendships. You’re are working harder and harder but none of your hard work seems to be paying off. You seem to fail repeatedly. What happens after you’ve tried and failed again and again? Often, we feel hopeless. In the 1960’s, researchers studied the learning process by conducting experiments measuring in response to rewards or punishments. This form of learning was called classical conditioning. Originally It was researched by physiologist Ivan Pavlov in his pioneering study who taught dogs to salivate at the ringing of a bell. The work of the 1960’s expanded upon the classical conditioning learning approach by investigating the role of motivation. Dr. Martin Seligman, known as the father of Positive Psychology, and his colleagues conducted a similar experiment with dogs testing motivation. The dogs would hear a bell followed a light shock administered to the dog. In time, the dogs learned to respond to the shock when the bell sounded. Seligman and his fellow researches did not expect what happened next. All the dogs were then placed in large crates with a low fence in between. One side of the fence had an electrified floor. Researches gave a light shock when the dogs were on the electrified side but to their surprise, the dogs did not jump to the non-shocking side of the fence. Instead, they laid down. The dogs learned from the first part of the experiment that they were powerless to avoid the shocks. A new set of dogs that had not experienced the shock jumped right over the fence. This condition was described as *“learned helplessness.”* This is a state where someone does not attempt to escape a negative situation because the past traumas or persistent failure has taught them powerlessness. In any situation where they have repeatedly tried and failed, people can develop learned helplessness. But it can be unlearned. Dr. Seligman wrote an article on how to become resilient. He offered these suggestions: #### **1. Increase mental toughness** Notice and dispute unrealistic beliefs. Often, our thoughts about the consequences or outcome have a greater impact than the consequences or outcomes themselves. Dr. Seligman incorporates the ABCD model to explain: C=emotional (C)onsequences (*“I’m unloveable”)* stem not directly from A = (A)dversity *(Ex: crisis in relationship)* but from B=one’s (B)eliefs about adversity *(Ex:“’This is the end of the world for me”).* The trick here is to (D)ispute unrealistic beliefs about adversity. *(Ex: Is it really the end of the world?)*. This ABCD approach was modeled from Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy Albert Ellis’ and is a way to create new possibilities by viewing setbacks in new ways. #### 2. Play to your strengths Dr. Seligman oversaw the development of a test highlighting the core characteristics and best qualities of a person. Identify your strengths. Consider your top strengths and how each as allowed you to accomplish your previous goals. Take time to evaluate which strengths do not come as naturally to you and put effort into developing them. Write a narrative about how your strengths have served you in challenging situations. #### 3. Give yourself a real compliment. Dr. Seligman said to be specific in your compliments. This idea comes from Carol Dweck, author of MindSet and next generation researcher of learned helplessness. Dweck believes most basic abilities can be developed through dedication, hard work and accurate praise. When you work hard, instead of telling yourself, *“Good job. I’m awesome!”* Be specific. Say, “*Today I did a really good job at maintaining eye contact.”* Or “*I have been trying really hard the last few weeks to be attentive in my marriage by doing the dishes the way my wife likes.” “I have been training every day for a week even when I didn’t want to. I’m proud of myself for that.”* When you’ve been working hard, reward yourself by stating it so it encourages you to continue in the future. Resilience isn’t easy, but like any skill is learned. Take time to look at a situation differently, work your strengths as you move through it and acknowledge your hard work. Fuller Life helps people strengthen and motivate themselves towards long-term resilience. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Angela-Blocker-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Contributed by [Angela Blocker , M.A, LMFT Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Clinical Supervision by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Angela-Blocker-LMFT-e1631303162413.png) Angela Blocker [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) Mental Health Play Therapy Parenting Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Cognitive Reframing, Emotional Intelligence, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Self-Awareness, Social Skills, Stress Management **Tags:** ABCD Model, depression, learned helplessness, mental toughness, REBT Therapy, resilience --- ### [Writing Your Destiny: Does the Story, You Tell Yourself Help or Hurt You? ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/writing-your-destiny/) **Published:** May 30, 2017 **Author:** Shani Bell **Content:** If you were to pick a genre for the story of your life, what would it be? A romantic comedy? Action? Psychological Thriller? A horror?? The stories we tell ourselves about the lives we lead deeply impact the way we view ourselves and our outlook. #### **Rereading Your Story** Since our story matters so much it is helpful to really look at what our story is and put words to it. Just think about it for a moment. Take some time to write down the 5 most significant events of your life. Think about the story you tell yourself about these events. - Start with identifying the type of character you play. Are you the victim, the hero, the villain or some other character? How does viewing yourself in this manner affect the way you lead your life? - Now think about the events themselves. Out of all the experiences you have had, you chose a certain 5 to be the most significant. Is the road through these events what psychologist, Michael White, calls problem saturated? - How do these events change how you see the world? - What meaning are you giving these 5 experiences and how does this meaning direct how you see life in general? - What was the moral of the stories? How has each event impacted your rules for life? Have these events created a limited view of yourself? Do they influence your poor decisions? Have these memories created an unhealthy sense of your own identity? If the answer to these questions is no, maybe you should take another look at the autobiography that you have written. #### **Find the Missing Pieces** One vital question that you can ask yourself when thinking about your perspective is “Am I omitting something important from my story?” Though you placed a high-level of importance on the meaning you have given these events, decide if there are other events or alternative interpretations that can tell you a different story about yourself. Challenge how you have allowed these stories to form your core beliefs. Often, people will generate beliefs from places like early life experiences, values from their family origin or intense turning points like tragedies. From that point on, they unconsciously sift through their experiences going forward looking only for the ones that confirm their existing beliefs. The problem is that there are so many facts missing from their limited point of view. They never see the full picture. #### **Don’t Ruin the Ending!** Omitted facts and narrow perspectives can have serious effects. Imagine a young high school honor student who gained a low SAT score. She always saw herself as intelligent with a passion for learning until that point. But after perceived failure, she then built a belief about herself that she is not smart enough to succeed. She starts limiting herself by taking easier college courses that she believes she can pass, afraid to challenge herself. She graduates and gains a steady career. Her bosses see her potential, but she passes up promotions not believing in her skills and abilities. One day, she is reprimanded for missing an important deadline. “See! I knew it. I’m a failure”, she declares. Her mind is turned away from any evidence against this belief, like graduating college, establishing a career, or being offered promotions. All she sees is the same failure she identified with in high school. Does this story sound familiar? If so, you might need to turn the page on your thinking. To live a full and meaningful life going forward, think about changing the meaning you have given the life you have already lived. Rewrite your story. Contributed by [Shani Bell, MAAT, LPC-Intern](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shanibell/) Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Shani-Bell-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-300x220.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Shani-Bell-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-e1486988435993.jpg) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Fuller-Life-2018-Shani-Bell-LPC-ATR-copy-1-e1631304334456.jpg) Shani Bell [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) Art Therapy Mindfulness Anxiety **Categories:** Cognitive Reframing, Counseling, Mental Health, Self-Awareness, Self-Esteem **Tags:** acceptance, cognitive reframing, core beliefs, mental health, personal narrative, self-awareness, self-esteem --- ### [The Ripple Effects of Autism Spectrum Disorder on the Family](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/autism-spectrum-disorder-family/) **Published:** June 29, 2017 **Author:** Tamara Tatum **Content:** Angry outbursts and sudden withdrawal, hypersensitivity to touch and sound, yet insensitivity in interpersonal interactions – these seeming contradictions are all too familiar for families of children with autism spectrum disorder. For these families, life may be draining at times with small tasks requiring much effort. Yet, discovering the world through the lens of an ASD child is something special. It goes without saying that a diagnosis of ASD impacts the entire family. Let’s take a look at the three major players: the child with ASD, the sibling(s) and the parent(s). ## **1. The Child with the Diagnosis** One way to think about ASD is the distinction between dynamic and static intelligence (Solomon and Chung, 2012). Children with ASD can have average to above average static intelligence. For example, they can remember facts about a topic of interest or rigidly adhere to rules and rituals. But, the struggle is with dynamic intelligence – being able to read the environment and to respond with flexibility. This is why we see kids with ASD often desiring consistency and struggling with transition and novelty. ### **Hope for Change** Good news! According to Sue Simmons of Equinox Family Consulting, dynamic intelligence can be taught. Dynamic intelligence is the ability to intuitively understand and respond according to a “feedback loop” of interaction. Information is sent out from A and received by B, and feedback is sent from B to A. Parents can help their children begin to understand the feedback loop by… - [*Slowing down everyday processes and interactions*](http://equinoxfamilyconsulting.com/intelligence/asd-help-understanding-dynamic-intelligence-versus-static-intelligence/), explaining them step by step to their child and gradually introducing more novelty (Simmons, 2013). - [*Making the feedback more noticeable.*](http://equinoxfamilyconsulting.com/intelligence/asd-help-understanding-dynamic-intelligence-versus-static-intelligence/) Parents can exaggerate the feedback their child would receive based on their behavior by making responses more noticeable. For example, instead of expecting the ASD child to interpret subtle body language, clear and explicit statements like, “when you said/did that, it made me really sad/happy/mad, etc. ” or exaggerated facial expressions when mad/happy/sad/etc. will be more easily understood. ## 2. The Siblings The siblings of children with ASD are at risk for higher emotional and behavioral problems (Solomon and Chung, 2012). At times, they may feel invisible – with much attention going to their brother or sister with ASD, the added responsibility required of them, and perhaps with restrictions on social activities. Or, they may feel the pressure to be in the spotlight – to overachieve in order to compensate for their sibling’s limitations (Solomon and Chung, 2012). ### Making the “Invisible” Visible There are many ways to let siblings know they are cared for… - *Risk an outburst.* While it is known to be helpful to stick to structure, schedules and routines with children who have ASD, it is okay to vary from this order at times (and potentially be met with a tantrum) to meet the needs of the other siblings. - *Carve out one-on-one bonding time.* Or find other creative ways to make them feel special. - *Encourage healthy peer relationships.* Perhaps even with other children who have siblings with special needs. ## 3. The Parents Learning of their child’s diagnosis is likely a daunting and upsetting experience for most parents. It may take time to learn how to cope with having an ASD child, as well as to learn how to grieve the loss of what they might have hoped and expected their child to be and to achieve. It can also be frustrating that in spite of good parenting skills and much patience, life with an ASD child continues to be challenging and stressful. Research has shown that there is a “spillover effect” flowing both ways between the parenting relationship and the marital relationship (Goetz, Hickey, Hartley, 2016). A difficult day of parenting the ASD child can lead to the experience of fewer positive couple interactions. Similarly, when there is more negative emotions and tension in the couple’s relationship, it spills over into a more stressful parenting. Interestingly, what tends to be most stressful for parents is not the limitations of the ASD child as much as the handling of the negative behavior (tantrums, rituals, etc.) (Solomon and Chung, 2012). Parents of ASD children are also at risk for more disagreements as to how to best handle these child-related challenges. This can, in turn, cause strain on the marital relationship (Goetz, Hickey, Hartley, 2016). ### Care for the Caregivers Parents can take the following important steps to ensure that they are meeting their own needs and advocating effectively for the entire family… - *Take time to invest in their marital relationship.* Go out on dates, seek couples’ counseling, etc. - *Discuss common goals and parenting strategies.* Try to have both parents attend doctor appointments, IEP meetings, etc. to be on the same page. - *Develop a strong support network*. It can be easy for ASD families to isolate themselves. However, developing a strong support network and seeking out resources for the family will ease some of the burden on the couple’s relationship. Learning how to balance the needs of the ASD child, sibling(s) and parent(s) will never be easy. But, for families of children with ASD, there is much to be gained in learning patience and compassion. #### References: Solomon, A.H. and Chung, B. (2012) Understanding Autism: How Family Therapists Can Support Parents of Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders. Family Process 51:250-264. http://www.apa.org/pi/disability/resources/publications/newsletter/2016/09/parents-children-autism.aspx Contributed by [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-150x150.jpg)Tamara Tatum, LMFT-Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tamaratatum/) Supervised by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-e1631305233968.jpg) Tamara Tatum [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) Mental Health Family Therapy Divorce, Separation, Blended Families Parenting Healing Trauma Relationships **Categories:** Adolescents & Children, Developmental Disorders, Family Therapy, Parenting, Parenting, Relationships **Tags:** ASD, autism spectrum disorder, family therapy, hope for change --- ### [Mess & Stress: The Science Behind Your Clutter](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mess-stress-the-science-behind-your-clutter/) **Published:** July 6, 2017 **Author:** Shani Bell **Content:** Look around you right now. Can you see the floor or is it covered in laundry? Are you reading this while sitting at a desk stacked high with clutter? So maybe you are not quite at hoarder status, but if you find yourself struggling to keep your external space organized, it might reflect a similar internal struggle. ### Getting to the Bottom of the Pile Some people are nurtured into a messy lifestyle. They grow up in families where a disorganized space is the norm. Others may find the busyness of life or personal circumstances leads to neglect in places like their home, workspace or vehicle. Maybe it feels like there is too much to do and too little time, so neatness is sacrificed for a higher priority. You may feel the whole process of keeping order overwhelming, tiring and pointless. Won’t it just get messy again anyway? But there is a benefit to making order a priority in your life. Studies point out that a clean space can contribute to better cognition and better sleep. It is also physically [safer and more life-efficient](http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/01/health/01well.html). Just as clutter in your physical space can signify clutter in your mental space, order around you can be a sign of an orderly mind. Living, and attempting to function, in messy spaces can also increase [anxiety](https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/high-octane-women/201203/why-mess-causes-stress-8-reasons-8-remedies). And who needs extra anxiety? ### What comes first – the mess or the stress? Much like the age-old question about the chicken or the egg, identifying if your stress leads to mess or the other way around can be a challenge. Those who struggle with anxiety, depression or other factors that contribute to a lack of motivation may also tend to struggle with keeping their spaces tidy. Though others may dismiss these people as just being lazy. In other words, your mess might not be the cause of anxiety or depression, but it might be a symptom of it. ### Getting out of the Dumps So, what do you do about the mess? If you believe that your clutter problem might be due to an internal struggle, try addressing the root of the problem. This might mean some self-reflection, confronting a person or thing you have been avoiding or seeking the help of a mental health professional. Do what it takes to function at your best. But whether the mess is the cause or symptom, anyone can benefit from clearing the clutter. If this task seems too daunting. Try the following [tips](https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/high-octane-women/201203/why-mess-causes-stress-8-reasons-8-remedies): - **Focus.** Find one project to tackle and stick with it. Don’t allow yourself to try to achieve too many organization goals at once. Give yourself time-limited breaks for long tasks and get right back to it. Leave distractions like cellphones and computers in the other room. - **Stash it away.** Your brain is taking in everything it sees and it can be overwhelming. Neatly store items that you do not use often out of sight. Try organizing the items that you frequently use in easily accessible but less visible places. - **Put it back.** After you gain order, don’t make it hard on yourself. It may seem easier in the short-term to just throw that one item on the floor, but over time you will find yourself right back in the middle of a mess. Give “future you” a break and put it back where you found it. You’ll find that creating and maintaining order over time helps you breathe a little easier. Want to know more? Check out these related articles: [Collector, Minimalist or Hoarder: Whoever Dies with The Most Toys Wins](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/whoever-dies-with-the-most-toys-wins-collectors-minimalists-hoarders/) [Create Balance: Living Well in the Midst of Anxiety](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/live-well-anxiety/) [The Truth on Multitasking: What Will Doing it All at Once Do to You?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-truth-about-multitasking-what-does-doing-it-all-at-once-really-do-to-you/) Contributed by [Shani Bell, MAAT, LPC-Intern](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shanibell/) Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Shani-Bell-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-300x220.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Shani-Bell-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-e1486988435993.jpg) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Fuller-Life-2018-Shani-Bell-LPC-ATR-copy-1-e1631304334456.jpg) Shani Bell [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) Art Therapy Mindfulness Anxiety **Categories:** Anxiety & Panic, Counseling, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Stress Management **Tags:** clutter, counseling, depression, mess, self-awareness, stress --- ### [The Body and Trauma: From Frozen to Fully Living  ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/body-trauma-frozen-fully-living/) **Published:** July 27, 2017 **Author:** Tamara Tatum **Content:** ### **An Impala and A Cheetah** Imagine yourself as an impala grazing along a lush plain. You hear rustling in a nearby brush. Your body tenses and your senses become alert. You see nothing and then suddenly, out of the brush, a cheetah lunges. You begin running as fast as possible, about seventy miles per hour. The cheetah begins closing in. Finally, he pounces and makes contact. Your body freezes. You collapse and appear immobile, though on the inside, energy is coursing through your body still at seventy miles per hour (adapted from Levine, 1997). After an overwhelming situation has occurred, it is not uncommon for our bodies to react as though the stress is still present – feeling agitated, shaky, breathing heavily, etc. In most circumstances, our bodies are able to relax and return to a normal state after a relatively brief period of time. Unfortunately, this is often not the case for people who have endured trauma. ### **The Experience of Trauma** While traumatic experiences vary along a wide spectrum, a common thread can be found in its expression. Experiencing fight, flight or freeze responses are our bodies natural and good reactions to stressful and scary circumstances. However, for some of those who have experienced trauma, the brain keeps telling the body to escape a threat that no longer exists (Van Der Kolk, 2014). Many people who have experienced trauma live as though they have been imprisoned by fear and are unable to re-engage in present life (Levine, 1997). In his book, Waking the Tiger, Levine describes post-traumatic stress disorder as, “incomplete physiological responses suspended in fear.” Going back to your experience as an impala, your body froze when the cheetah finally pounced. Yet, there was heightened energy from the terrifying chase that remained stuck inside your immobile body. A similar thing happens for those who have post-traumatic stress disorder. The body remains hypervigilant, prepared to be assaulted or violated again, and the survivor’s energy now becomes focused on suppressing this inner chaos (Van Der Kolk, 2014). This suppression has been shown to take a toll on the body and can lead to fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue and autoimmune disorders (Van Der Kolk, 2014). ### **Healing the Body, Mind and Spirit** In order to experience healing, the body needs to learn that the danger has passed and begin living fully in the present (Van Der Kolk, 2014). It is not enough to tell and re-tell the story of the trauma. Change needs to happen at the physical level as well (Van der Kolk, 2014). According to Levine (1997), trauma survivors need to pass through the state of immobility and liberate the suppressed energy. Reconnecting mind, body and spirit is an important step to recovering from trauma. “Trauma robs you of the feeling that you are in charge of yourself…. The challenge of recovery is to reestablish ownership of your body and your mind – of yourself” (Van Der Kolk, 2014). ### A Few Exercises The following exercise by Peter Levine (1997) is to welcome your mind and spirit back to your body: For ten minutes each day, take a gentle, pulsing shower in the following way: at a cool or slightly warm temperature setting, expose your entire body to the pulsing water, one part at a time. *Put your full awareness into the region of your body where the rhythmical stimulation is focused. Let your consciousness move to each part of your body as you rotate. Hold the backs of your hands to the shower head; then the palms and wrists; then both sides of your face, shoulders, underarms, etc. Be sure to include every part of your body. Pay attention to the sensation in each area, even if it feels blank, numb, or painful. While you are doing this say, “This is* ***my*** head. This is* ***my*** neck. This is* ***my*** *hand.” etc. “I welcome you back.” Below is an exercise by Levine (1997) designed to begin accessing the body’s natural wisdom: *As you read this, make yourself as comfortable as possible. Feel the way your body makes contact with the surface that is supporting you.* *Sense into your skin and notice the way your clothes feel.* *Sense underneath your skin – what sensations are there?* *Now, gently remembering these sensations, how do you know that you feel comfortable?* *What physical sensations contribute to the overall feeling of comfort?* *Does becoming more aware of these sensations make you feel more or less comfortable?* *Does this change over time?* *Sit for a moment and enjoy the felt sense of feeling comfortable!* Using these exercises can help you to become more grounded and connected to your body. For other body-oriented therapeutic trauma treatments, read [this blog](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/yoga-and-trauma/) from our archives. At Fuller Life Family Therapy, we offer trauma-informed care to help you move from frozen in a traumatic past to living fully in the present. **Resources** Levine, P. (1997). Waking the Tiger. Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score. Contributed by [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-150x150.jpg)Tamara Tatum, LMFT-Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tamaratatum/) Supervised by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-e1631305233968.jpg) Tamara Tatum [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) Mental Health Family Therapy Divorce, Separation, Blended Families Parenting Healing Trauma Relationships **Categories:** Mental Health, Self-Awareness, Self-Care Practices, Trauma and Loss **Tags:** body, body mind awaraness, body-oriented therapy, trauma --- ### [When Caring Hurts: Preventing Caregiver Burnout](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/when-caring-hurts-preventing-caregiver-burnout/) **Published:** August 1, 2017 **Author:** FullerLife **Content:** You are dependable and loyal. You take family seriously and honor those around you who are unable to care for themselves. So, you have found yourself in the position of caring for an elderly parent grandparent or chronically ill or disabled loved one who requires constant care. Sometimes it feels like it is just too much for one person to bear. You may feel that no one else is there to carry the burden but you. However, not reaching out for help can lead to harmful results. ### **The Numbers Don’t Lie** The United States is home to over [44 million unpaid caregivers](http://www.caregiving.org/resources/). The numbers will continue to grow as the population of baby boomers continues to age. The prevalence of spectrum disorders, like autism, has increased in America [by 30 percent in recent years](http://www.cnn.com/2014/03/27/health/cdc-autism/index.html). Many disorders can limit the ability of people to function independently. These situations may create a need for family members to step up when care facilities seem like an unwanted or unfeasible option. But what effect does the caregiving lifestyle have on the caregiver? ### **Signs of Trouble** [Fatigue and sleep deprivation](http://caregiver.com/articles/fighting_caregiver_fatigue/) when caring for a loved one are common. Fatigue can make a caregiver more vulnerable to physical, emotional or mental illnesses themselves. This can be due to a combination of physical obligations of providing care around the clock to the worry and stress that can accompany the responsibility of maintaining someone else’s welfare. Oftentimes, caregivers are not only responsible for the elderly parent or disabled family relative. They are parents, husbands and wives as well, further adding to their load. You may notice that you, or the caregiver in your life, has become increasingly irritable, anxious or angry lately. A prolonged state of fatigue and stress puts caregivers at [risk](http://caregiver.com/articles/fighting_caregiver_fatigue/) for diabetes, addictions, increased sensitivity to pain and infections. If you see signs of depression, such as feelings of hopelessness or helplessness, loss of interest in other activities, social withdrawal, find help. That is a clear sign that it is time for intervention. In difficult circumstances, some caretakers may appear disoriented, erratic and/or highly emotional. Let extreme changes in mood, behaviors or routine be a signal to you that something is wrong. ### **Caring for the Caregiver** If any of this sounds familiar, please take the necessary steps. As a caregiver, know that reaching out for help and taking care of yourself are just as important to your role as a caregiver as the caregiving itself. If you know someone who is responsible for a loved one’s wellbeing and is exhibiting signs of burnout, lend a helping hand. Here are some steps that you can take: - **Self-assess**. Take a moment to do personal inventory. If your energy levels have been low and your patience thin, admit it to yourself. That is the only way to begin the process of improving your situation. - **Take a break.** If you do not have to, don’t go it alone. [Ask friends or family members](http://caregiver.com/articles/fighting_caregiver_fatigue/) to stay over a couple nights a week so that you can get a full night’s rest. See if they can watch your loved for a couple of hours during the day while you take some personal time. If there is no one available, take advantage of some of the caregiver resources (*found* below) that can assist you. - **Be mindful.** Include a mindfulness, mediation or prayer practice in your day. This serves to increase your self-awareness and promotes relaxation while you are awake. Fifteen minutes can make a world of difference. - **Find support. As a caregiver, you might be too busy to know that there is help available to you, even if you feel like you are all alone. Please check out the following resources: - AARP CareConnection - [National Alliance for Caregiving](http://www.caregiving.org/resources/) Want to see if you or someone you love is battling caregiver burnout, take this short quiz: Contributed by [Shani Bell, MAAT, LPC-Intern](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shanibell/) Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Shani-Bell-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-300x220.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Shani-Bell-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-e1486988435993.jpg) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/3b50f5c3411d691f584deced65d9f66bb470d45b4cf8ab6a2113808da1a96ccc?s=300&r=g) FullerLife Fuller Life Family Therapy [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/fullerlife/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/fullerlife/) **Categories:** Counseling, Depression, Emotions and Relationships, Mental Health, Self-Awareness, Self-Care Practices **Tags:** caregiver burnout, emotions and relationships, self-awareness, stress management --- ### [Why your Partner Won't Have Sex with You](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/partner-wont-sex/) **Published:** August 8, 2017 **Author:** Manet Castaneda **Content:** #### **Two Universal Truths in Love and Sex** “Picture this: we were both butt naked banging on the bathroom floor…” While this is a well-known lyric in Shaggy’s hit song “It Wasn’t Me.” The image painted is not far from the reality of how many couples start off their relationship. Unable to keep their hands off each other and exhilarated in the excitement of a new relationship. Ironically, couples never imagine getting to the point in their satisfying relationship in which the passion and desire dies down, and instead are replaced with feelings of resentment, frustration and loneliness. - Have you ever asked yourself what you could do to get your partner to see you in a different light? - Do you ever wonder if there is something wrong with you or what you’re doing or not doing in the bedroom? - Do you ever feel like your partner only wants you for sex, or the opposite, that your partner never wants you for sex? If this at all sounds like something you have encountered in your relationship. [David Schnarch](http://crucible4points.com/)[ ](http://crucible4points.com/), renowned sex therapist and clinical psychologist, has a simple answer for why issues with desire arise in long term committed relationships. Here are two universal truths virtually every relationship experience when it comes to love and sex. #### **Rule Number One: There is always a low desire partner and a high desire partner** Dr. Schnarch offers a unique way of viewing the way relationships work, and he does this through the lens of sex. He states, that in every relationship there are two positions that people take when faced with a decision, i.e., low desire partner (LPD) and high desire partner (HPD). The position a person takes is dependent on the decision at hand and can change between one topic to another and from one relationship to another. That is to say, one partner may be for LPD in sex, but that same partner could be the HDP for intimacy. Even if both partners want the same thing, one will want it more than the other. You may be the LDP if you want sex once a day and your partner want sex twice a day, or you may be the HDP if you want sex once a month and your partner doesn’t want sex at all. You may be the LDP in one relationship and the HDP in the next relationship. #### **Rule Number Two: The Low Desire Partner Always Controls Sex** Dr. Schnarch points out a second rule of sexual relationships which is, that the LDP always controls sex. The LDP controls sex whether that person likes it or not. The LDP also control sex whether things are going great or not. This rule is no fun for either person, so there are common ways people try to get around it. According to Schnarch, “begging, cajoling, criticizing, demanding, and withdrawing are standard methods,” while the HDP may be able to pressure the LDP into having sex, the HDP cannot pressured them into wanting to be with them or be passionate. Dr. Schnarch lays out how the LDP controls sex: 1. The HDP makes most of, if not all of, the initiations for sex. 2. The LDP decides which sexual advances she or he will respond to. 3. This determines when sex happens. This gives the LDP de facto control of sex, whether she or he wants this or not. #### **Sexual Desire Issues: The New Norm** Sexual desire issues are a natural part of longer term committed relationships. All couples will experience desire issues at one point or another. Knowing these realities can be a huge relief for couples who are struggling to get through difficult challenges in their relationships. When used well, these challenges can push you to become more solid and clear about who you are. As you work through your sexual desire issues, you become more mature and more capable of being intimate, passionate, giving and respectful in a long term committed relationship. For a broader understanding of some of the concepts discussed in this blog, read Dr. Schnarch’s book *Intimacy and Desire.* To book an appointment with Manet Castenada LPC- Intern, Under the supervision of Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD LPC-S, LMFT-S please email at Manet@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Manet-Castaneda-Fuller-Life-Headshot-scaled-e1631305448934.jpg) Manet Castaneda [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) Mental Health Sex Therapy Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Counseling, Couples, Intimacy & Sex Therapy, Marriage, Relationships **Tags:** counseling, couples, intimacy & sex, marriage, relationships --- ### [In Tough Times, What Sets Healthy Families Apart?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/what-strong-families-do-and-dont-do-to-cope/) **Published:** August 24, 2017 **Author:** Angela Blocker **Content:** Some families seem to float through tough times, while others struggle. When a person goes through hard times, it is not unusual for him to use a defense mechanism to cope. Families also develop systems to defend themselves when times get tough. However, defense mechanisms are harmful strategies to a family in the long run. Instead, healthy families work hard to build character and forge healthy relationships to endure, and they rise above difficulty. ### What Healthy Families Do Not Do 1. *Denial* – A classic example is the spouse of an alcoholic believing that the drinking is only a social activity or a spouse believing they are reading into things when clear evidence of adultery arises. Strong families[ save](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/personal-growth-for-interpersonal-relationships/) their families by clearly addressing situations, even if it is outside their [comfort zones](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/7-mistakes-discomfort-zone-costing-growth/). 2. *Play Pretend* – It is avoidance in the form of “forgetfulness.” While everyone forgets things from time to time, those who repress forget appointments, tasks, or items they do not like or consider bad. Strong families decide to pay *more* attention to things they don’t like to make sure they get done. 3. *Let Adults Act Like Children*– Under periods of stress, a person may revert to younger stages of development. For example, a grown daughter learns that her mother has died and remains in bed refusing to leave the home. It could also look like her six-year-old child then bedwetting. Even strong families need time to care for themselves after trauma, but they will eventually choose to get out of bed with gratitude and keep on going, even when they don’t feel like it! 4. *Distort Reality* – A family’s attempt to cover up insecurities by advocating for its opposite. It could look like a workaholic constantly telling his children about the importance of playtime. A daughter being bullied at school for being smart may hide her high achievement and promote academic failure. 5. *Point the Finger* – Strong families do not see the undesirable traits in themselves and then paint them onto others. A mother who is having difficulty with implementing discipline may tell the father who has effective strategies that he needs to take a parenting class on limit-setting. Instead of projecting, a mother might ask the father for help or take the class herself and ask him to join for support. 6. *Acting Out* – Families with acting out styles resort to external expressions of pain. Physical aggression, cutting and anger outbursts in families are all examples of this. Acting out is often a combination of hurt and unkindness towards others and yourself. It is choosing not to [communicate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/communication/) in a way that brings positive connection. 7. *Blame Shifting* – Sometimes, families shift emotions to a less threatening target. An example is a father who is angry with his boss starting an argument with his wife when he gets home. Instead, the father can recognize the source of his frustration as independent from his wife and problem solve to address his boss or find another place of employment. ### What Healthy Families Love to Do 1. *Love* – Mother Teresa said, “Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do but how much love we put in that action.” Strong families choose to love and respect each person in their family. Compassion is concern for the sufferings of others. They make proactive sacrifices for one another and are committed to the well-being of themselves and others. 2. *Honesty* – Strong families are not afraid to speak truth into their own lives and the lives of others around them. Even when it is hard to be honest and circumstances are rough, they tell the truth. They are also receptive to the words of others seeking the best for them. It includes holding one another accountable for actions, saying what you mean and meaning what you say, and not taking credit for anything undeserved. 3. *Forbearance* – “Forbearance” isn’t a word used in everyday conversation much anymore. If it is used, it may be in the context of a loan. Forbearance is a legal term meaning to refrain from enforcing a debt, right or obligation that is due. In a relational context, it means the quality of someone who is patient, self-controlled and able to deal with a difficult person or circumstance even when they have the right to be angry. It means not having a running tally of past wrongs. 4. *Humility* – Strong families take a modest view of themselves and others and have a balanced view of strengths and weaknesses. As a result, they seek the best in themselves and others. David Brooks, New York Times columnist and bestselling author of [*The Road to Character* ](https://www.amazon.com/Road-Character-David-Brooks/dp/0812983416/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8)defines humility, “Humility is the awareness that there’s a lot you don’t know and that a lot of what you think you know is distorted or wrong.” Families practicing humility acknowledge that they may not always be right. They are focused on exemplifying their values and give others the freedom to do so as well. They consider others before themselves and look for ways to serve others. Strong families recognize they are a part of a network greater than themselves and are mindful about how their actions will affect their family and community at large. 5. *Courage* – The moral strength to persevere through difficulty. It doesn’t mean not being scared but having the confidence to persevere for something greater than fear. Courage is leaning *into* anxiety and is linked to vulnerability. [Dr. Brené Brown](http://www.brenebrown.com/) in her book [*Daring Greatly* ](https://www.amazon.com/Daring-Greatly-Courage-Vulnerable-Transforms/dp/1592408419/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1503512322&sr=1-1&keywords=daring+greatly)says, “Our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose.” She also explains that courage includes “learning to take risks, share bold ideas with confidence, have tough conversations, and rise from setbacks and failures.” 6. *Gratitude* – Strong families are thankful families. They cherish and appreciate life and each other as gifts. Giving thanks is a way to show affection and love and it is a regular part of interaction. Whenever a family member shows an act of generosity or love, it is acknowledged loud and proud! They can also be thankful of the circumstances, good or bad. 7. *Kindness* – The virtue of kindness is being a good person and being available. It can look like a needed conversation or a hug. Caring and understanding are cultivated continual acts of kindness. 8. *Hope* – [Angela ](https://www.amazon.com/Angela-Duckworth/e/B019S711S0/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1)Duckworth, New *York Times* best-selling author of [*Grit* ](https://www.amazon.com/Grit-Passion-Perseverance-Angela-Duckworth/dp/1501111108/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1503512205&sr=1-1&keywords=grit)and motivational speaker, told her children they could quit but never on a bad day. She was actively instilling hope. This type of hope cannot be separated from patience and strong families maintain that good things are possible for themselves and others. Sometimes, the hope comes from faith in God or principles found outside themselves. Since these families have enduring hope, they can make hard confrontations and seek help when needed. Hope allows them to persevere through situations like terminal illness and death. 9. *Excellence –* Dignity and pride is a part of the culture of a healthy family, and it is developed by cultivating excellence. Excellence is not perfection but a drive to be the best person you can be in periods of calm and adversity. Families do not seek flawlessness but push one another to reach and exceed potential…over and over. The job, skill, assignment, or grade is obsolete compared to the attitude and effort given to it. Martin Luther King Jr[.](https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/23924.Martin_Luther_King_Jr_) explains excellence well when he said, “If *a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.”* It is possible to have a strong, healthy family and make healthier families stronger! Day by day, both the individual in the family, along with the family itself, practice character [even when it is uncomfortable](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/strengthenbonds/), because it promotes resilience and closer family connections in the long run. Fuller Life is here to help your family remain healthy and grow stronger every day. Resources [![](https://vialogue.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/daring-greatly.png)](https://www.amazon.com/Daring-Greatly-Courage-Vulnerable-Transforms/dp/1592408419/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1503512322&sr=1-1&keywords=daring+greatly)[![](http://d28hgpri8am2if.cloudfront.net/book_images/onix/cvr9781501111105/grit-9781501111105_hr.jpg)](https://www.amazon.com/Grit-Passion-Perseverance-Angela-Duckworth/dp/1501111108/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1503512205&sr=1-1&keywords=grit)[![](http://prodimage.images-bn.com/pimages/9781594139376_p0_v1_s192x300.jpg)](https://www.amazon.com/Road-Character-David-Brooks/dp/081299325X)[![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41rIXftU6RL._SX329_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg)](https://www.amazon.com/UnSelfie-Empathetic-Succeed-All-About-Me-World/dp/1501110039/ref=as_li_ss_il?ie=UTF8&linkCode=li3&tag=changemakers-linkedin-20&linkId=13686eb22d385a6d65597cb9d8db4ae4) 10 ways your family can serve others [How Families Develop Character in Children](http://www.rootsofaction.com/developing-character-strengths-a-vital-goal-of-education-part-2/) [Honesty Rules: 10 Steps to Get There](https://blogs.psychcentral.com/parenting-tips/2013/11/honesty-rules-10-steps-to-get-there/) [Families Taking Charge: Dealing with Stress](https://www.pubs.ext.vt.edu/2811/2811-7016/2811-7016.html) [100 Kids Activities to Build Character](http://www.momentsaday.com/100-kids-activities-to-build-character/) [Emotional Regulation for Kids](http://keltymentalhealth.ca/sites/default/files/emotional_regulation_self_regulation_for_children_qrs_0.pdf) [5 Mindfulness Activities You Can Do As A Family](http://www.parents.com/fun/activities/mindfulness-activities-you-can-do-as-a-family/) References Dombeck, M. (2004, June 22). Defense Mechanisms. Retrieved May 19, 2017, from Whitbourne, S. K. (2011, October 22). The Essential Guide to Defense Mechanisms. Retrieved May 19, 2017, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201110/the-essential-guide-defense-mechanisms [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Angela-Blocker-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Contributed by [Angela Blocker, M.A, LMFT Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Clinical Supervision by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Angela-Blocker-LMFT-e1631303162413.png) Angela Blocker [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) Mental Health Play Therapy Parenting Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Emotions and Relationships, Family Therapy, Self-Awareness, Self-Care Practices **Tags:** bonding, courage, gratitude, healthy families, honesty, hope, humulity, integrity, relationships --- ### [How to Talk to Your Kids about Divorce ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/talk-kids-divorce/) **Published:** September 11, 2017 **Author:** Tamara Tatum **Content:** Going through a separation or divorce can be a painful and confusing time for many. It can be especially difficult when there are children involved. As a parent, you may be concerned about when is the best time to have a conversation with your children and what information to share – or not to share. ### **Planning for the conversation** Dr. Herrick, psychotherapist, recommends telling your children 2 to 3 weeks before the separation. In an ideal situation, both parents will be present for the conversation. If this is not possible, it is important for the parent present to not speak poorly of the parent who is absent to ensure that the child does not feel pressured to take sides Once a general timeline has been set, it is time to decide on the logistics of where and when the conversation will take place. According to a research study done by Heather Westberg, [the memory of this conversation](https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-older-dad/201105/mom-and-dad-have-something-tell-you-six-tips-talking-kids-about-divorce), and how they were first told, sticks with children. It is important to spend some time thinking about the environment in which to talk with your children. For example, selecting a quiet, neutral location during a time of day when you will have some uninterrupted time together is best. ### **Rules of engagement during the conversation** After preparing the environment, comes the weighty task of actually having the conversation. Here are a few pointers to keep in mind while talking with your child… #### 1. Present as a united front. Be respectful of one another and make it clear that while the both of you may disagree on various things, you do agree on doing what is best for your children. #### 2. Keep it simple and honest. Do not share more information than the children need to know (e.g., financial arrangements, the details of your disagreements), but answer your children’s questions honestly when they ask difficult questions like, “What does divorce mean?” “Why are you leaving each other?” #### 3. Share the plan going forward. Share with your children some of the major changes that will be happening. How long until mom or dad moves out? Where will the children be staying? What school will they attend? How often will they see each parent? Also be sure to reassure your children on things that will remain the same (e.g., school, neighborhood, Sunday dinners at Grandma’s, etc.) #### 4. Emphasize that this is your decision. Make sure your children know that separation or divorce is not their fault and has nothing to do with them. Nothing they can do – good or bad, will influence the decision. #### 5. Stay true to your word. In your conversation, make sure your children hear how much you love them. After the conversation, keep your word in showing your love to your children by spending time with them, encouraging them, showing affection and acting in their best interests. #### 6. Be prepared for unexpected reactions. Your child may respond in a number of ways – anger, confusion, sadness, relief, or they may even appear not to respond at all. Rather than pushing your child to feel differently (i.e., “look at the bright side!”), remain curious and accepting of what they are feeling. Let your child know that it is okay to be sad, angry, confused, or relieved. Help them find healthful ways to share and express these feelings (e.g., drawing, journaling, being active, talking…) Many parents are, understandably, concerned about how their child will cope with separation or divorce. While this will likely be a challenging time for both parents and children, ensuring that your children know they can come to you with their questions and feelings will help them through the process. For more resources on how to support your child through the divorce process, check out our [Scoop It! ](http://www.scoop.it/t/navigating-separation-divorce-and-blended-families?nosug=1)Page. Resources http://lisaherrick.com/separation-and-divorce-work/guide-to-telling-the-children-about-the-divorce/ Contributed by [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-150x150.jpg)Tamara Tatum, LMFT-Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tamaratatum/) Supervised by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-e1631305233968.jpg) Tamara Tatum [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) Mental Health Family Therapy Divorce, Separation, Blended Families Parenting Healing Trauma Relationships **Categories:** Adolescents & Children, Blended Families, Emotions and Relationships, Family Therapy, Parenting **Tags:** children of divorce, divorce, separation --- ### [Hidden Grief](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/hidden-grief/) **Published:** September 23, 2017 **Author:** Shani Bell **Content:** Grief usually brings up memories of those we have lost. However, people grieve for many reasons. Believing grief is only about mourning those who have died can leave a person feeling confused and lost when they witness related symptoms after the loss of other important parts of their lives. People often mourn the loss of a marriage or other relationship, a job or business after retirement, functioning, a home after a disaster, a life plan that does not pan out the way you thought it would, or personal security after being violated to name a few. The loss of all of these can lead you through stages of grieving. But unlike the loss of a loved one, you may not expect to encounter grief in these areas. Being aware that grief does not just happen when you lose a person, or a pet can help you to recognize it for what it is and address it in a healthy way. #### **How do we experience grief?** People respond to loss in different ways. Many have heard of the [stages of grief](https://familydoctor.org/grieving-facing-illness-death-and-other-losses/) which include anger, denial, bargaining, depression and acceptance. These stages occur in different orders, with some occurring more than once during a single period of loss. And not all stages may be experienced. In addition, you might find that you are having physical symptoms like fatigue, changes in weight, headaches or upset stomach. Emotional and behavioral difficulties can often appear in the form of restlessness, drastic mood changes, crying spells, deep sadness, difficulty concentrating, confusion, fear, guilt, anger, and many other symptoms. Pay attention to your mind and body if you are witnessing any of these symptoms. They might be telling you that grief is present. #### **How do we respond to grief?** Trying to convince yourself that you should not be grieving because no one has died is not helpful. Having to deal with [disenfranchised grief](https://whatsyourgrief.com/disenfranchised-grief/) only makes the healing process more difficult. Minimizing the weight of your loss might come from your inner voice or external friends and family who may not understand the impact of your loss. Whether or not you initially think you *should* be grieving, you are still doing so. A healthy dose of self-compassion is a great first step to managing your grieving process. Through accepting and validating your loss to yourself and then giving yourself space to grieve, you open the door to properly deal with it. For many, especially when they are enduring disenfranchised grief, it can be helpful to participate in a support group with people who are coping with similar life changes. Engaging with peers can help with validating and normalizing the pain of such loss. These groups may also help to provide tools for processing your loss. Individual counseling can be similarly beneficial, especially for people experiencing [prolonged grief](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/shades-of-grief/) for greater than six months. It is especially important to take care of yourself and seek professional help. If you are struggling with grief, check out some of these resources to start your healing journey: https://www.thegriefgirl.com/grief–grieving.html Contributed by [Shani Bell, MAAT, LPC-Intern](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shanibell/) Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Shani-Bell-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-300x220.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Shani-Bell-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-e1486988435993.jpg) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Fuller-Life-2018-Shani-Bell-LPC-ATR-copy-1-e1631304334456.jpg) Shani Bell [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) Art Therapy Mindfulness Anxiety **Categories:** Counseling, Depression, Depression, Bipolar, Divorce, Grief, Mental Health, Self-Awareness, Trauma and Loss **Tags:** counseling, divorce, grief, mental health, self-awareness, trauma and loss --- ### [How Personal Power Can Change Your Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/personal-power-can-change-life/) **Published:** October 6, 2017 **Author:** Tamara Tatum **Content:** Consider two different scenarios. First, imagine yourself on a career trajectory that is suddenly cut short. You now take a new job for which you feel unqualified. You are consumed with defeat, insecurity and anxiety. Worried that you will appear incompetent, you avoid any challenges. Now, imagine that you are about to give a presentation on a topic that is meaningful to you. You feel jittery and nervous, but excited to share your insights with the audience. You stand tall and speak from your heart, connecting with the group in an impactful way. What comes to mind as you think of the two very different scenarios? ### Powerlessness vs. Personal Power We have all experienced situations in life in which we have felt powerless, discouraged and defeated. Similarly, we have experienced situations in which we have felt powerful, confident and ambitious. In her research on presence and power, [Amy Cuddy](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00U6DNZK8/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1) (2015) shows that power activates the psychological and behavioral approach system, which means that we feel free, in control and unthreatened. On the other hand, powerlessness activates the inhibition system, making us more anxious, pessimistic and conforming to social pressures. While the word “power” might conjure up thoughts about dictators and oppressors, Cuddy (2015) suggests that personal power is very different than social power. Social power is the ability to exert dominance and influence the behavior of others. Personal power, on the other hand, is freedom from the dominance of others. It means accessing and controlling our limitless inner resources. The consequences for powerlessness are significant. Cuddy believes that powerlessness is as likely to corrupt as power is. And unless we feel personally powerful, we cannot be truly present with those around us. Here are some ways powerlessness negatively impacts us (adapted from [Presence by Amy Cuddy](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00U6DNZK8/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1)) #### ***1. Powerlessness impairs thought*** Powerlessness and the anxiety that results undermine executive functioning (I.e., higher order cognitive abilities such as reasoning, attention control, task flexibility) which is critical to coping well in challenging situations. #### ***2. Powerlessness makes us*** ***self-absorbed*** Social anxiety interferes with ability to see the world through others’ eyes. This is bidirectional. The more self-focused we are, the more anxious, depressed and powerless we are likely to feel. #### ***3. Powerlessness prevents presence*** The more anxious and self-focused we are, the more likely we are to ruminate on social interactions in an unhelpful manner and this directly inhibits being present in those interactions. In contrast, personal power benefits us in a number of ways ([adapted from Presence by Amy Cuddy](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00U6DNZK8/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1)). #### ***1. Personal power protects us*** Personal power serves as a buffer against negative emotions, making us feel less pain in difficult times and less hurt by negative interactions. #### ***2. Personal power connects us*** It frees us to be more open and vulnerable with others. #### ***3. Personal power liberates our thinking*** We are more creative, less self-conscious about expressing feelings and beliefs when we feel powerful. #### ***4. Personal* *power* *synchronize**s* *us*** Feeling powerful has a way of harmonizing our thoughts, feelings and behaviors such that we appear more authentic in our presence. #### ***5. Pe**r**sonal power incites action and leads to more effective action*** When we believe we are able to perform the task at hand, even in a high-stakes situation, we are more likely to perform it. Cuddy also suggests that the way we build personal power is gradually, one step at a time. It comes as we pay more attention to our body language, embodying postures of power (upright, expansive), deep breathing, smiling. Personal power also comes as we make everyday decisions. Often, we need to act first and the feelings of confidence and competence will follow. When we notice ourselves doing something with courage or competence, we can then recall this the next time something challenging comes our way, making it easier to perform in future situations. As this goes on, we are able to harness our internal resources in order to meet challenges. At Fuller Life, we hope you will bold and brave as you ride the waves of life! Reference Cuddy, A. (2015). Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges. Contributed by [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-150x150.jpg)Tamara Tatum, LMFT-Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tamaratatum/) Supervised by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-e1631305233968.jpg) Tamara Tatum [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) Mental Health Family Therapy Divorce, Separation, Blended Families Parenting Healing Trauma Relationships **Categories:** Counseling, Mental Health, Self-Esteem **Tags:** personal power, powerful, powerlessness, presence, self-absorbed --- ### [Teen Moodiness & Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/typical-teenage-mood-swings-or-borderline/) **Published:** October 24, 2017 **Author:** Angela Blocker **Content:** In the movie, *Thirteen,* Tracy Freeland is a seventh-grade honor student with a troubling home life. As a girl who formerly channeled her frustrations from home into her studies, her life derails when she meets popular student Evie who introduces her to sex, drugs and thievery. When Tracy’s mother, Melanie, tries to set limits, her daughter acts out more. Melanie backs down again and again guilty over her own preoccupation with relational and financial problems. In the end, Melanie and Tracy have a brutal argument leading to a full picture of a daughter’s distress and her mother’s love. While some critics disagree, others have said the film highlights the dynamics of adolescent borderline personality disorder (BPD). With one psychiatrist stating, “it should have been titled How to Turn Your Teenager into a Borderline Without Even Being Abusive”. Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder surface in adolescence; but it can be hard for parents to distinguish from typical teenage acting out. How can you know for sure? ## What is borderline personality disorder? To start, many are skeptical of diagnoses like borderline personality disorder (BPD). Psychiatric diagnoses come and go.[ Dr. Blaise Aguirre](https://www.newharbinger.com/author/blaise-aguirre), expert psychiatrist and extensive author on the subject of BPD, explains this is largely due to the absence of accurate tools and procedures. While technology has improved greatly, the majority of diagnoses are based on observations and descriptions of behavior alone. Consequently, a behavior such as impulsivity could be a sign used to diagnose ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, or borderline personality disorder. For this reason, Aguirre adds that borderline personality disorder is a mysteriously complex disorder because its own behaviors overlap the behaviors of typical adolescents, along with those characteristic of mood disorders, attention deficit disorders, and even post-traumatic stress disorder. He says it is like all of those but incredibly distinct at the same time. It has obvious characteristics. Dr. Marsha Linehan, developer of one of the most effective treatments for Borderline Personality Disorder, [Dialectical Behavior Therapy](https://behavioraltech.org/resources/faqs/dialectical-behavior-therapy-dbt/) (DBT), describes the disorder as “a poorly understood condition characterized by neediness, outbursts and self-destructive urges, often leading to cutting or burning.” In order to be diagnosed, a person must meet five of the nine criteria, including abandonment fears, unstable personal relationships, unstable identity, impulsive behaviors with drugs and sex, suicidal/self-harm behavior, affective or emotional instability, chronic feelings of boredom or emptiness, and dissociative feelings. It is a relational disorder marked by high emotional sensitivity, high emotional reactivity, and a slow return to baseline. Given those criteria, Aguirre says, it’s not hard to see why normal teenage development can look like emerging adult BPD. Most adolescents have difficulty controlling their emotions, thoughts and behavior. They can be impulsive. Additionally, they have problems in their relationships and confusion over their identities. If my teen has suicidal thoughts or intense anger one day, does that mean she’s got a personality disorder? Not necessarily. ## What’s the Difference? “A lot of people said you know it’s just kind of normal teenage acting out and it wasn’t. And it didn’t feel normal to me” says one mom of child who meets the criteria for BPD. Many parents feel the behaviors of their teen don’t feel normal, but the actions may look typical of teen development. Dr. Aguirre tells parents to imagine two girls are sitting at a cafeteria in high school. Both have had screaming matches with their parents. They have each made risky choices experimenting with sex, drugs and self-harm. Both can be moody. Both are passionate and caring people. One has borderline personality disorder and the other does not. The difference, he says, is in the function of the behavior. “Adolescents with borderline personality disorder often use self-harm, illegal substances, and rage to cope with profound misery, intense emotions, emptiness, self-loathing, and abandonment fears,” explains Aguirre. After interviewing teens who cut, he found that some did so because they saw copied others. These teens were confused over why others cut and they stopped because it was painful. Other teens, he found, felt more alive after cutting. They felt calmer, less numb, and said the cutting gave them little or no pain. It is very troubling for a parent of a teen who finds a *reduction in pain* through self-harm because it will likely be repeated. Aguirre explains that repeating this behavior hard wires it into the brain as a way to problem solve and cope. Repetitive self-harm behaviors and suicidality are not typical adolescent behaviors. In the same way, alcohol abuse and impulsive sexual activities to ease emotional pain is atypical to adolescence and require a response. ## What can parents do? 1. Don’t diagnose your child. If concerned about your child’s actions, find a qualified mental health professional. They can distinguish between normal adolescent behavior from other disorders. It is not uncommon for clinicians to be uncomfortable making the diagnosis or reluctant to work with teens who have been diagnosed. One parent sought the help of many mental health professionals, but no one mentioned BPD. Another parent was refused care because the case was too difficult for the therapist. She wondered where to find help if the very people trained to treat mental health cases refused her. Dr. Aguirre recommends asking if the clinician has training in[ Dialectical Behavior Therapy](https://behavioraltech.org/resources/faqs/dialectical-behavior-therapy-dbt/), post-traumatic stress disorder, or has worked with self-harming or suicidal teens. He also recommends writing a list of concerns you have for your child, including specific behaviors, medications with dosages, hospitalizations and past therapies. 2. Learn about[ validation](https://blogs.psychcentral.com/emotionally-sensitive/2012/02/understanding-the-levels-of-validation/). Validation is helpful for teens with or without BPD. Dr. Linehan explains that validation requires empathy and communicates that another’s response makes sense. In contrast, self-validation acknowledges *your own* experiences are real and acceptable to you. It frees you up to validate others. Again, to validate another is to accept his or her experience as true and able to be understood. However, validating others does not mean you agree, support his or her actions, or feel the same way. Dr. Aguirre adds, it simply means that you accept that your child has a point of view that might be different from yours and it is real. 3. Practice balance. Dr. Blaise lists three parental balancing strategies that work for teens with or without BPD. First, seek to find the balance between being too lenient and taking restrictive control. Then, try to find a fair line between minimalizing a problem behavior versus overreacting to to it. Since teenage years are all about learning to be an adult, Aguirre ends by telling parents to try to find the balance between forcing autonomy and fostering dependence 4. Practice Self-Care. Regular eating, sleeping, and exercise help parents handle the ups and downs of their teens from a place of fullness. Self-care is also finding support. This can be a challenge because many families may notice what happens in their home isn’t taking place in other homes. As a result, they isolate themselves. Many families found that even extended family members had difficulty understanding. However, even if support doesn’t come from those nearest you, don’t continue alone. Try finding a therapist for yourself, an online forum, or a group like Family Connections. [Family Connections](http://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.com/family-connections/) is a free group program designed by families for families of those with symptoms of borderline personality disorder. ### Information About Teen Moodiness and Development [Borderline Personality Disorder in Adolescents, 2nd Edition: What To Do When Your Teen Has BPD: A Complete Guide for Families](https://www.amazon.com/Borderline-Personality-Disorder-Adolescents-2nd/dp/1592336493/ref=pd_sim_14_1/137-3345353-7779036?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=BS4ZWGEZCWKYM7J2E3TR) [Parenting a Teen Who Has Intense Emotions: DBT Skills to Help Your Teen Navigate Emotional and Behavioral Challenges](https://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Teen-Who-Intense-Emotions/dp/1626251886/ref=pd_sim_14_2?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=Z435ZGBH35P5RTTZT7N0) [Brainstorm the Power and Purpose of the Teenage ](https://www.amazon.com/Brainstorm-Power-Purpose-Teenage-Brain/dp/0399168834/ref=pd_sim_14_3?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=5PDQJJHY9TTYJ21SZ26Y)Brain Drawing on important new research in the field of interpersonal neurobiology, Siegel explores exciting ways in which understanding how the brain functions can improve vital skills teens learn, such as how to leave home and enter the larger world, connect deeply with others, and safely experiment and take risks. [The Teenage Brain: A Neuroscientist’s Survival Guide to Raising Adolescents and Young Adults](https://www.amazon.com/Teenage-Brain-Neuroscientists-Survival-Adolescents/dp/0062067850/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_2?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=Y2AE5XA7M7V9931X5R9A) Gives parents a developmental understanding of how a teenager’s brain functions and how parents can foster their teen’s growth. ### Information About Borderline Personality Disorder [National E](http://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.com/)[ducation](http://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.com/)[ Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder](http://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.com/) works with families and persons in recovery, raises public awareness, provides education to professionals, promotes research, and works with Congress to enhance the quality of life for those affected by this serious but treatable mental illness. [National Institute of Mental Health](https://www.nimh.nih.gov/index.shtml) is the foremost federal agency for research on mental disorders. NIMH is part of the National Institutes of Health (NIH), the largest biomedical research agency in the world. NIH is also part of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). ### Online Support for Family Members [![OZ image2](https://www.bpdvideo.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/OZ-image2.jpg)](http://www.bpdcentral.com/support-groups/guidelines/) **Welcome to Oz** BPD Central’s forum service “Welcome to Oz” has endless options for a customizable experience. Whether you are a parent, grandparent, or sibling to somebody with BPD or just a close friend/romantic partner; you will find the right avenue to put you in contact with others in similar positions. Because they have grown to more than 20,000 members, they offer 15 diverse and active groups. [![lines](https://www.bpdvideo.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/lines.jpg)](http://www.bpdcentral.com/blog/) [**Lines from the Border**](http://www.bpdcentral.com/blog/) Randi Krieger has created a safe haven for those affected closely by somebody who has or may have borderline personality disorder. With stockpiles of information, it is no wonder bpdcentral.com is at the forefront when it comes to highly regarded borderline websites. With the ability to locate therapists through the website as well as a BPD answer line where you can schedule a confidential telephone call, bpdcentral.com is a fantastic resource. References Aguirre, B. A. (2014). Borderline personality disorder in adolescents: what to do when your teen has BPD: a complete guide for families. Beverly, MA: Fair Winds. Brody, J. E. (2009, June 15). An Emotional Hair Trigger, Often Misread. Retrieved October 18, 2017, from [http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/16/health/16brod.html?\_r=1](http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/16/health/16brod.html?_r=1) Relational DBT Validation. (2014, December 15). *Sunrise Residential Treatment Center* Retrieved October 24, 2017, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HANLHwZ47Hc Teen Moodiness, or borderline personality disorder? (2010, February 25). *New York Times*. Retrieved July 21, 2017, from https://consults.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/02/25/borderline-personality-disorder-in-teenagers/ [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Angela-Blocker-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Contributed by [Angela Blocker, M.A, LMFT Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Clinical Supervision by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Angela-Blocker-LMFT-e1631303162413.png) Angela Blocker [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) Mental Health Play Therapy Parenting Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Adolescents & Children, Parenting, Personality Disorders **Tags:** adolescents, anger, borderline personality disorder, teen acting out, teen anger, teenagers --- ### [Learning to Let Go: Choice making for Adult Children with Special Needs](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/choicemaking-adult-children-special-needs/) **Published:** November 1, 2017 **Author:** FullerLife **Content:** It can be difficult for any parent to learn to let their adult children go off into the world to succeed, and inevitably, fail on their own. The desire to protect is a strong one and may be especially true of parents of children with special needs. These parents may wonder what adult life could possibly look like for their children and whether their children could receive the same level of care and support from the world that they have at home. The transition to adulthood is a long and ongoing process that begins in infancy and continues long past your child’s 18thbirthday as your child gradually becomes more independent. Self-determination, which is about making choices and decisions that affect one’s own life, is an important aspect of fostering independence (PBS, Mitchell, 2012). In fact, choice-making is viewed in Western society as part of transition to adulthood (Mitchell, 2012). Encouraging self-determination and choice-making does not mean allowing your child to make every single decision that impacts his or her life. But it does mean gradually relinquishing parental control in order to allow your children to develop the skills and self-confidence necessary to manage doing some things on their own. In wanting to protect their children and keep them from harm, some parents of older children may even make decisions for their children without them being aware of the decision in the first place (Mitchell, 2012). There is a fine line between being a protective, concerned parent and becoming overprotective. Nevertheless, overprotective parenting, even with the best of intentions, can have a negative impact on your child’s self-esteem and perception of their capabilities (Sanders, 2006). It is helpful to consider family choice-making along a continuum (adapted from Mitchell, 2012)… #### 1. Exclusionary – Here the aim is to protect the child. This results in the child not being involved in the choice. #### 2. Informative – The aim is to help the child understand and participate in choice-making, but parents make the final decision. #### 3. Collaborative Parents support and empower the child’s choice-making #### 4. Delegatory The choice is completely handed over to the child. Families may adopt differing choice-making styles depending on the decision at hand and the level of risk involved. For example, the choice of which school to attend may more easily fall into the informative andcollaborative,or evendelegatory, categories. However, the decision to undergo a life-changing surgery is more likely to fall into the exclusionary or informative categories. Here are a few questions to consider as you think of ways to support the growing independence of your child (adapted from PBS.org) …. - #### What are our family’s ideas about becoming a successful adult? - #### How does our family make decisions? Do children have a say? - #### How might my child participate in decision making? In what ways does our family support choice making for our children? It is every parents’ desire to see their children living to their full potential. Encouraging wise and appropriate choice-making is one way to watch your children grow and flourish as adults. Resources http://www.pbs.org/parents/education/learning-disabilities/fostering-independence-in-children/ http://www.eparent.com/special-needs-connect/parent-long-process-letting-go/ Sanders KY. Overprotection and lowered expectations of persons with disabilities: the unforeseen consequences. Work, 2006;27(2):181-8 Mitchell, 2012.Parents’ accounts: Factors considered when deciding how far to involve their son/daughter with learning disabilities in choice-making. Children and Youth Services Review, 34: 1560-1569. Contributed by [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-150x150.jpg)Tamara Tatum, LMFT-Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tamaratatum/) Supervised by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/3b50f5c3411d691f584deced65d9f66bb470d45b4cf8ab6a2113808da1a96ccc?s=300&r=g) FullerLife Fuller Life Family Therapy [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/fullerlife/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/fullerlife/) **Categories:** Adolescents & Children, Communication, Counseling, Parenting, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Social Skills **Tags:** adult children, Family choice making, learning disabilities, special needs children --- ### [3 Solutions For Women Who Overthink Everything](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/3-solutions-for-women-who-overthink-everything/) **Published:** January 18, 2018 **Author:** Angela Blocker **Content:** Women love to think and, sometimes, overthink. In the 1990’s and early 2000’s, [Susan Nolen-Hoeksema](http://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fa0033053), Yale-educated expert psychologist studied mood, depression and gender differences. Her extensive and pioneering research on rumination helped explain why women are twice as likely to have depression than men and also demonstrated how widespread overthinking can be. > “When there is any pause in our daily activities,” says Nolen-Hoeksema in 2013, “many of us are flooded with worries, thoughts and emotions that swirl out of control, sucking our emotions and energy down, down, down. We are suffering from an epidemic of overthinking.” In her book, *[Women Who Think Too Much](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003H3IOTG/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1),* she defines overthinking and shares helpful tips to slow our minds down and stop the trap of overthinking. ## Kneading Our Thoughts Dr. Nolen-Hoeksema explains overthinking is paying attention to the thoughts created by our mood, mulling them over, taking them very seriously, and letting them influence our decisions. It looks like going over your thoughts and then examining them repetitively. She says overthinking is similar to kneading our thoughts like dough. Overthinking is pervasive and self-focused and often not helpful. Researchers interviewed students about their results after overthinking. They discovered the students were less insightful and usually wrong about their assumptions. In fact, they had a kind of tunnel vision that only allowed them to focus on the negative. Overthinking is *not* your friend. ## The Yeast Effect Not only does getting caught kneading our thoughts lead us to have a negative focus; but, this overthinking comes with a yeast effect. In the same manner dough doubles in size when kneaded, our negative thoughts will grow when we work them over too. These oversized thoughts lead to less insight and consequently *more* negative decisions. Choices that can ruin your life, impair your well-being and ability to function in the world. Research shows ruminative-type thinking leads to a dip in our performance and our ability to concentrate, pay attention, and shift to account for the positive. Overthinking also affects our ability to problem solve well; and, when we do problem solve, we have difficulty adequately putting the solution in place. ## Stopping the Cycle 1. **Break the grip of your thoughts by giving your mind a planned rest**. Intentionally distract yourself with a positive activity like a [mindful hobby](https://www.saga.co.uk/magazine/health-wellbeing/mind/hobbies-mindfulness), physical activity, good book, massage, or movie. Be your own “thought police”, firmly telling yourself to stop in the moment, and then schedule a specific time to think things over. Another solution is asking a friend or spouse to help and talking about what you are overthinking. 2. **Climb up out of the muck onto higher ground.** Take time to change your focus away from overthinking to a healthier view of a situation. [Don’t get stuck in comparisons](https://www.developgoodhabits.com/stop-comparing-yourself-to-others/) or be ruled by negative emotions. Accept the pain then brainstorm possible solutions. Consider other simple reasons for your distress at first, like lack of sleep or hunger. Connect with higher values to evaluate all possible solutions. Next, take some small action to begin overcoming your problem. In the process, try to forgive those who have wronged you to let go of overthinking their offense. When implementing solutions, listen out for when your overthinking is the result of others telling you how you ought to be feeling, thinking or behaving. 3. **Avoid falling into the trap again**. She says, “don’t go there.” Choose not to put yourself in situations that involve overthinking. Sometimes, this looks like physically avoiding a situation or letting go of unrealistic and unhealthy goals for yourself. However, if the trap feels unavoidable, [create a new picture of yourself](https://www.huffingtonpost.com/frank-niles-phd/visualization-goals_b_878424.html) inside those situations by replacing negative images with positive ones. For an example, seeing yourself as someone who is competent to learn new skills or trying to find a satisfying story to understand your troubles. Finally, broaden your base for multiple sources of support. Becoming a volunteer at a cause you value or finding new friends in other stages of life can provide a different perspective on life. “Over the past four decades women have experienced unprecedented growth in independence and opportunities,” Dr. Nolen-Hoeksema wrote, “We have many reasons to be happy and confident.” Fuller Life is here to help you restore yourself to joy and calm. References Carey, B. (2013, January 13).Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, Psychologist Who Studied Depression in Women, Dies at 53. *The New York Times*. Retrieved November 12, 2017, from http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/14/us/susan-nolen-hoeksema-psychologist-who-studied-depression-in-women-dies-at-53.html?\_r=0 Nolen-Hoeksema, S. (1987). Sex differences in unipolar depression: Evidence and theory. *Psychological Bulletin, 101*(2), 259-282.[http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.101.2.259](http://psycnet.apa.org/doi/10.1037/0033-2909.101.2.259) Nolen-Hoeksema, S. (2000). The role of rumination in depressive disorders and mixed anxiety/depressive symptoms. *Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 109*(3), 504-511.[http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0021-843X.109.3.504](http://psycnet.apa.org/doi/10.1037/0021-843X.109.3.504) Nolen-Hoeksema, S. (2012). *Women who think too much: how to break free of over-thinking and reclaim your life*. London: Piatkus. Nolen-Hoeksema, S., Wisco, B. E., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2008). Rethinking rumination. *Perspectives on psychological science*, *3*(5), 400-424. Lyubomirsky, S., & Nolen-Hoeksema, S. (1995). Effects of self-focused rumination on negative thinking and interpersonal problem solving. *Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,* *69*(1), 176-190.doi. 10.1037//0022-3514.69.1.176 [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Angela-Blocker-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Contributed by [Angela Blocker, M.A, LMFT Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Clinical Supervision by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Angela-Blocker-LMFT-e1631303162413.png) Angela Blocker [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) Mental Health Play Therapy Parenting Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Anxiety & Panic, Depression, Emotional Intelligence, Lifestyle, Problem Solving **Tags:** acceptance, anxiety, overthink, rumination, self-care practices, thought paralysis --- ### [Good Anger: A Fire Contained](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/good-anger-a-fire-contained/) **Published:** February 11, 2018 **Author:** Shani Bell **Content:** HULK SMASH! Is this the way you think about anger? Is it a destructive, chaotic force that wreaks havoc in your life? Many times, anger can feel that way, whether you are the giver or recipient of angry reactions and behaviors. As we discussed in the previous article, [Covered in Red: How the Brain Uses Anger to Hide Your Pain](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-the-brain-uses-anger-to-hide-pain/), anger can be a defensive response to many more vulnerable emotions. In your anger’s effort to hide your soft spots, you might find yourself being hurtful to others around you or even yourself. But the word “anger” doesn’t always need to put you on the defense. There are healthier expressions of this emotion that can give you positive results. ### **Burn for a Cause** Have you ever heard the expression, righteous anger? This is the kind that people reference that generates healthy and positive action. Think of the Civil Rights Movement or the self-explanatory group, M.A.D.D. (Mothers Against Drunk Driving). In both of these circumstances, outrage and disapproval over some injustice or harmful aspect of society sparked actions which led to positive change. Psychology professor, Lisa Najavits, labels this type of anger [constructive anger](https://www.guideposts.org/better-living/positive-living/emotional-and-mental-health/5-ways-anger-can-be-good-for-you). She describes constructive anger as the healing type that is solution-oriented, is in proportion to the offense, invites curious self-examination and seeks respect for everyone involved. You can use the discomfort and energy of your fury as motivation to actively create harmony and balance. This kind of anger can prompt you do things like set up healthy boundaries, break bad habits, protect yourself physically or take a stand for someone who is defenseless which can make the world, or even just your world, a better place. ### **Taming the Fire** So how do you invite constructive anger into your life instead of the destructive kind? 1. Identify your anger and the reasons behind it. Think of your vexation as an indicator that a disruption has occurred in something you value deeply. This is the time to explore the passion behind your fire. For example, you notice a co-worker with a disability lacks proper accessibility at the office. Instead of stewing in your anger or setting the building ablaze, you could recognize that you value equality in the workplace and let that inform your actions. 2. Refocus. Shift your focus away from your emotions towards the value you have just identified. Ask yourself solution-oriented questions about what needs to take place for that value to be met in a healthy way. For instance, you could start a workplace initiative to ensure accessibility for all disabled employees. 3. Once you devise a personal plan or organize your movement, move forward. Use the anger to [fuel your actions](http://www.spring.org.uk/2012/03/the-upside-of-anger-6-psychological-benefits-of-getting-mad.php) but not to lead them. Let what you value direct your steps instead. ### Other Resources for Healthy Anger: ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Fuller-Life-2018-Shani-Bell-LPC-ATR-copy-1-e1631304334456.jpg) Shani Bell [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) Art Therapy Mindfulness Anxiety **Categories:** Anger Management, Communication, Mental Health, Problem Solving, Self-Awareness **Tags:** anger management, mental health, Problem Solving, relationships, self-awareness --- ### [Does Intimacy Make for Good Sex? ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/intimacy-good-sex/) **Published:** February 13, 2018 **Author:** Tamara Tatum **Content:** The beginning of a relationship is filled with excitement and possibility. Getting to know a new person and allowing them to get to know you is thrilling and daunting at the same time. Passion, excitement and curiosity swirl at this stage. However, this period is unlikely to last very long. Slowly, as the relationship progresses, familiarity, routine and a sense of security begins to set in. Intimacy, often defined as knowing the other and being known, begins to grow. Esther Perel, in her book, [Mating in Captivity](https://www.amazon.com/Mating-Captivity-Unlocking-Erotic-Intelligence/dp/0060753641/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1518551725&sr=8-1&keywords=mating+in+captivity), suggests that what makes for good intimacy does not always make for good sex. Good intimacy often involves the feeling of being emotionally “close”, such as with deep conversations, growing familiarity, and self-disclosure. Emotional closeness and physical intimacy do not always directly correlate and may have a more complex relationship. According to Perel, in order for connection to happen, there needs to be an implied separateness. We cannot move closer together if we are already wrapped up in one another. Eroticism is movement toward the other, but we often seek to eliminate otherness in our close relationships by focusing solely on how we are similar and involving each other in every aspect of our lives. In other words, being separate is a requirement for actually being close. We are usually uncomfortable with this separateness and experience anxiety and insecurity. But this very discomfort is a what helps to maintain our interest and sexual desire. Fire needs air. Desire needs mystery. ### So, how do you keep desire alive? 1. Develop and cultivate your own “secret garden”. Perel suggests that rather than considering separateness as pulling away from the other, consider it to be the development of personal intimacy. Get to know yourself, your unique interests, hobbies, talents and dreams and go after them! 2. Recognize and allow for the ways your partner remains mysterious to you. Instead of, at the end of the day, pressing for every detail that filled the preceding hours when you were apart, allow for the “space between” the two of you to exist. Additionally, appreciate the ways your partner, though he or she may be similar to you in some ways, thinks and acts and sees the world differently than you do. Maintaining love and desire in committed relationships involves finding the balance between surrendering to the “other” and maintaining autonomy and a sense of self. This is both a challenging and exciting journey! Perel, Esther. (2007). Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence. Contributed by [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-150x150.jpg)Tamara Tatum, LMFT-Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tamaratatum/) Supervised by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-e1631305233968.jpg) Tamara Tatum [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) Mental Health Family Therapy Divorce, Separation, Blended Families Parenting Healing Trauma Relationships **Categories:** Emotions and Relationships, Intimacy & Sex Therapy, Marriage, Premarital, Relationships, Sexual Education **Tags:** intimacy, marriage, relationships, sex, sexual desire --- ### [Do You Talk Dirty to Yourself?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/do-you-talk-dirty-to-yourself/) **Published:** March 2, 2018 **Author:** Manet Castaneda **Content:** If you find yourself guilty of engaging in harmful self-talk, do not fret, you are not alone. Many of us are guilty of using shaming or denigrating language to speak to ourselves on a daily basis. Our intimate thoughts can sometimes be a scary place, especially when they are riddled with negativity and self-hate. How often do we take time to notice the way we “talk dirty” to ourselves? Better yet, how often do we take the time to reframe those negative thoughts into more compassionate musings? If you are like many individuals, it is likely that you have not taken the time to notice your negative self-talk, much less considered speaking more kindly to yourself. Here is a three-step process for identifying and reshaping damaging self-talk. #### First Step: Notice our Dirty Talk Where does our dirty talk come from? For most, it comes from a combination of experiences and interactions we have with others- parents, teachers, classmates or coworkers. Regardless of where your negative self-talk comes from, it is important to identify it and recognize how it infiltrates your day-to-day routine. Here are a few examples of distorted self-talk: – I am not good at my job – I’ll never be good at anything – I am not smart enough – If only I was thinner – I’m so stupid #### Second Step: Swap Your Dirty Talk If you are able to identify your negative self-talk, then you are taking a step towards changing the way that you experience your world and the people in it. While identifying dirty talk is important, if what you want is to live a more growth promoting life then it is important make steps towards changing those self-damaging thoughts. One way to do this is by writing down your internal negative thoughts and reversing them. For example: – I am not good at my job vs I work hard at my job – I’ll never be good at anything vs I am good at several things – I am not smart enough vs I work hard to learn new things #### Third Step: Challenge Your Dirty Talk The last step and possibly the most challenging, is to provide yourself with reasons why the reversed thought is true. Distorted self-talk is just that, distorted. Which means that the things you tell yourself are most likely untrue and there is evidence in your own experiences to prove this. For example: – I am good at my job because I work hard to complete my tasks – I am good at many things like reading, and helping around the house – I am smart because I take time to learn new things – I am not stupid because I am able to accomplish many tasks throughout my day Reframing your dirty talk may be a very challenging thing to do, especially when you are unaware that you are doing it to yourself. However, you can rise to the challenge. If you want to positively change the way you perceive yourself and your experiences, you can. Retraining yourself will take a conscious effort, but the outcome will be very rewarding. Change your negative self-talk step-by-step and leave the dirty talk for the bedroom. For more information on changing your negative self-talk check out Dr. Helmstetter’s book [What to Say When you Talk to your Self.](https://www.amazon.com/What-When-Talk-Your-Self/dp/1501171992) For more information on self-talk, visit Taylor Dickerson’s [blog.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-talk-anxiety/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Manet-Castaneda-Fuller-Life-Headshot-scaled-e1631305448934.jpg) Manet Castaneda [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) Mental Health Sex Therapy Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Anxiety Issues, Cognitive Reframing, Emotional Intelligence, Mental Health, Self-Awareness **Tags:** cognitive distortions, cognitive reframing, mental health, positive self talk, self-awareness --- ### [Burnout & Boundaries: Knowing when enough is enough](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout-boundaries/) **Published:** September 18, 2018 **Author:** 1-Lindsay Perry **Content:** How much more can I give? How much more can I do? How much more can I take? These questions can be haunting and feel unanswerable. More so, it can be defeating when the answer never comes. Finding ways to maintain and restore energy can help sustain the busy and hectic lives that have become normal in our society. It can be difficult, but recognizing burnout is the best first step. ## **BURNOUT: WHEN IT STARTS TO FEEL LIKE TOO MUCH** It happens so fast. You start taking on different roles (such as husband, wife, boss, employee) that keep you busy, pay the bills, and maintain your relationships. It could be a new job, a new relationship, or a new friend group. Sometimes within the roles you fill are even more roles (such as having multiple responsibilities within one job). Things go well for a while, but then you start to run out of fuel. Knowing personal limits is the first step in being able to set healthy boundaries. How do you know where to make cuts or modifications if you don’t even know there is a problem? Limits can be reached when there’s nothing left to give, but there are still responsibilities to attend to. Each role and responsibility consumes energy. Running on empty can result in higher levels of stress and burnout. Burnout is the exhaustion, lack of patience, and feeling down that comes from long periods of stress. ## **BOUNDARIES: WHEN YOU’VE REACHED YOUR LIMIT** There are many of ways to prevent burnout and create healthy boundaries to conserve energy and take care of yourself. A few examples include: having your needs met from the work you do, carving out time for self-care, and using your support system. ### **Figure out if what you’re doing is meeting your needs** Getting what you need from the work you do can be a great step in not getting burned out. It can be easy to just think about the money or the title with the job. However, understanding what you gain from the job you do can be helpful in knowing if something needs to change. So here are some questions to find out if your needs are being met at work: - Can I be myself? - Is my work rewarding? - Do I know what’s really going on? - Is my work meaningful? - Is my work emphasizing my strengths? Each person will be different in how many of these questions they want to answer “yes” to. If many of the answers are “yes,” then the chances of burnout may be less likely. If most or all the answers are “no,” maybe there are some changes that can happen to increase the number “yes” answers. Having a healthy work environment will only help in decreasing stress and preventing burnout. ### **Take care of yourself** Think about what relaxes you. Is it reading a good book, going on a trip, or binging a show on Netflix? Finding ways to let go of the stress of the day can restore energy levels to tackle the day-to-day responsibilities. If self-care isn’t a priority, recharging is difficult. Then, you’re left on empty with mounting responsibilities. ### **Find support** Having a support system is important for a variety of reasons. Friends, family, and significant others can provide an outlet when life feels overwhelming. It’s also just as important to find a healthy support system. Healthy supports are the people who love, encourage, and challenge you to help you grow. Sometimes life can be too much to handle by yourself. Talking to friends or family is another way to prevent burnout. There are many different ways to help fight burnout. The important thing is to find what works for you. For more ideas, check out these other resources or more from our [blog](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-the-best-gift-of-the-season/): [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/Lindsay-Perry-FL-Headshot-300x254.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/Lindsay-Perry-FL-Headshot.jpg)Contributed by [Lindsay Perry, M.Ed, LPC Intern #79863](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/lindsayperry/) Clinical Supervision by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LINDSAY-PERRY-HEADSHOT-1-e1631302384595.png) 1-Lindsay Perry [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lindsayperry/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lindsayperry/) Mental Health EMDR Healing Trauma Relationships **Categories:** Lifestyle, Mental Health, Self-Awareness, Self-Care Practices, Stress Management **Tags:** boundaries, burnout, energy, stress, support --- ### [Create & Grow Healthy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/creating-a-better-you/) **Published:** November 20, 2018 **Author:** Shani Bell **Content:** Bruce Moon, Art Therapist and educator, [describes](https://books.google.com/books/about/Existential_Art_Therapy.html?id=WAQ14KiV-c4C) art therapy as “an effort to detect or discover the meaning of life by exploring the soul of what we invent in our creative work”. I recently had the honor of exploring this use of creativity with fellow clinician, Jennifer Christian. Maybe you’ve only thought of creating art as an enjoyable past-time. If you allow it, art can actually be used as a tool for personal discovery. Listen in to learn more about how making your own artwork can improve the way you live and move through challenges: https://jenniferchristiancounseling.com/how-art-improves-self-care/ Contributed by [Shani Bell, MAAT, LPC, ATR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shanibell/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Shani-Bell-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-300x220.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shanibell/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Fuller-Life-2018-Shani-Bell-LPC-ATR-copy-1-e1631304334456.jpg) Shani Bell [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) Art Therapy Mindfulness Anxiety **Categories:** Counseling, Mental Health, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Awareness, Self-Care Practices, Spirituality, Sticky, Stress Management **Tags:** counseling, mental health, mindfulness practice, self-awareness, self-care practices, spirituality, stress management --- ### [What's the Weather Like Inside You? Mindfulness for Kids and Adults Alike](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/whats-the-weather-like-inside-you-mindfulness-for-kids-and-adults-alike/) **Published:** February 23, 2019 **Author:** Tamara Tatum **Content:** At times our feelings can feel so jumbled and all over the place that it is hard to put words to all that is going on inside of us. In these uncomfortable times, it can be easy to adopt unhealthy means of dealing with our emotions such as trying to fight against them, getting swept up in them and overidentifying with them. Learning to understand and accept our interior world is an important skill to cope with the many waves of moods that will come our way throughout life. Understanding the inner world can be even more difficult for kids and teens who lack an adult vocabulary and understanding of emotion. However, there are many ways to help your children become aware of their internal states. ## Personal Weather Report? One such example is called the “Personal Weather Report” (taken from Eline Snell’s book “Sitting Still Like a Frog”). This practice can be used for ages 4 and up. You can practice this alone, with one of your children who may be going through a particularly tough time, or together as a family. *Sit down comfortably somewhere, close or half close your eyes, and take some time to determine how you are feeling right now. What is the weather like inside you? Do you feel relaxed and sunny inside? Or does it feel rainy or overcast? Is there a storm raging, perhaps? What do you notice?* *Without really thinking about it too much, summon the weather report that best describes your feelings at the moment. Once you know how you are doing right now, just let it be… just as it is…; there is no need to feel or do anything differently. You cannot change the weather outside either, can you?* *Stay close to this feeling for a while.* *Direct your friendly and curious attention to the clouds, the clear sky, or the storm that is brewing…this is how it is right now…; like the weather, you simply cannot change a mood. Later today the weather will be completely different again…, but right now this is how things are. And that is absolutely fine. Moods change. They blow over. There is no need to take any action. What a relief.* For something to listen to, here is a [link](https://smilingmind.podbean.com/e/6-my-internal-weather-7-11-years/) to a downloadable audio internal weather report guided meditation for children and teens aged 7 and up by Smiling Mind. ## Mindful Art For older teens and adults, you can add depth and layers of understanding to the internal world through the use of art – visualizing and creating landscapes and weather. Here are some steps adapted from the exercise “Landscapes of Emotion” by Cohen, Barnes and Rankin: 1. Gather two sheets of paper and your preferred utensils (colored pencis, paints, pastels, etc.) 2. Imagine what type of outdoor landscape might represent your current emotional state. Are there mountains, hills, valleys, lakes trees, rocks, etc.? 3. Next imagine the climate or weather conditions in your landscape that corresponds to your current emotional state. Is the weather cold, cool, warm, sunny, overcast, etc? 4. Now, draw your imagined landscape and climate on the first sheet of paper. After your drawing, reflect on the following questions… 1. How would a person feel if he or she were standing in the different areas of your landscape? 2. What would this person do in your landscape – seek shelter, relax, run away? 3. List the features in your landscape and try to match each one to one or more feelings. Now imagine changing the first landscape you created (i.e. new features, rearrangement, change in climate). Draw the changed landscape using the second set of papers. 1. Repeat the reflection question in step 5 with the new landscape. 2. What differences or similarities do you notice in the two landscapes? Would you prefer one over the other? This exercise can especially helpful for those who have experienced some form of trauma and are ready to move past the initial trauma coping mechanism of numbing or suppressing feelings to begin reconnecting with emotion. If you think this may apply to you, you may want to use and process this exercise in conjunction with professional therapy or counseling. We hope these tips help you ride the waves of emotion with mindful acceptance! References Snell, E. (2013). Sitting Still Like a Frog. Cohen, Barnes and Rankin. (1995). Managing Traumatic Stress Through Art. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-e1515908052844.jpg)Tamara Tatum, Resident Therapist Contributed by [Tamara Tatum, LMFT-Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tamaratatum/) Supervised by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-e1631305233968.jpg) Tamara Tatum [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) Mental Health Family Therapy Divorce, Separation, Blended Families Parenting Healing Trauma Relationships **Categories:** Adolescents & Children, Counseling, Mental Health, Mindfulness Practice, Parenting, Parenting **Tags:** adults, children, emotions, mindfulness, teens --- ### [Weighing In: Shame vs the Scale](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/weighing-in-shame-vs-the-scale/) **Published:** March 14, 2019 **Author:** 1-Lindsay Perry **Content:** Everyday we can look around and see signs, commercials, and ads for the latest fad diets, extreme workouts, and weight-loss quick fixes. These diets label some specific food as “the fat maker”. The workouts make big promises but are too extreme to stick with long term. The weight-loss quick fix guarantees “this pill will melt fat away.” What are these ads really saying? They say that we need to change ourselves to achieve the “perfect body”. These messages look helpful from the outside. Yet, the more probable picture is not helpful at all. How much harm are these messages doing, and what does it mean for you? ### **What’s really being said?** On the surface, this message implies that we need to take better care of our physical health to look better and feel better, but sometimes that’s not all we receive. Sometimes we hear that we’re not good enough as we are. We start to believe that we need that slim physique to be happy and feel as though we’re worth something. Sometimes, we even start to believe that we are shameful for not matching that ideal body seen in the media. The danger of shame is the lengths we take to achieve the perfect body and what it really means about the way we view ourselves. ### **What messages are you receiving: motivation or shame?** You may be wondering what’s wrong with wanting to better yourself? On the outside, someone may have started eating healthier foods and working out every day, but what motivations lie underneath this lifestyle change? Someone taking steps towards making better eating choices for a healthier life is different from someone cutting out food groups out of fear and shame for being the size they are. Someone going for a walk or run more often to feel better is different from taking on an extreme workout program out of a desire to hurt and tear down the body to force it to change. Shame is not only mentally and emotionally exhausting, but also physically taxing when it manifests into the way we treat ourselves daily. For some, behaviors fueled by shame can become unhealthy habits or obsessions attempting to achieve or maintain the social construct of the “perfect” body. For others, the feelings of worthlessness and shame can be so strong that they immobilize them from even attempting to take care of themselves. ### **The weight of shame** In most experiences of shame, we isolate ourselves from those around us. We feel disconnected from the people in our lives and disconnected from ourselves. The weight of shame can be heavy and fuel our own form of self-abuse as we try to change ourselves. This self-abusing cycle of shame can lead to a deterioration of our mental, emotional, and physical health. ### **What is a healthier approach?** We can start to uncover an expose our shame by becoming aware of it. Taking a moment of pause and being curious about what is driving us to change ourselves is a first step in becoming more aware. We notice our motivations and what our inner voices are telling us about the changes we feel we need to make to our bodies. When we become more aware, we give more power to ourselves. In our awareness, we can start to show ourselves kindness and compassion through the things we tell ourselves and combat the heaviness of shame. ### **Beauty in diversity** If we all looked the same, the world would be a boring place. We are all beautiful in our own way and change in various and unique ways throughout our lives. Our differences make the world a more interesting and beautiful place, so why are we fighting so hard to look the same? We are all deserving of loving ourselves as we are. We are also deserving of wanting to do better for ourselves, but where does your motivation come from? Is our motivation a desire to be and feel healthier? Or is our need to change based on fear and shame for being the way we are? Knowing what drives us gives us new opportunities to show ourselves kindness. ### **Resources** Are you struggling with the weight of shame? Our therapists at Fuller Life Family Therapy provide a kind and compassionate space to help people work through shame, self-esteem, and a variety of other challenges. Call us today at (855) 245-5433 to schedule an appointment. [Body Positivity or Body Obsession? Learning to See More & Be More – TED Talk by Lindsay Kite](https://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video?fr=mcafee&p=lindsay+kite+ted+talk#id=1&vid=f373ca07a4c863cf011376f54bc9ad05&action=click) [Shame, Body Image, and Weight Loss: Shame, the Master Emotion, Part 2 – David Bedrick J.D., Dipl PW](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/is-psychology-making-us-sick/201301/shame-body-image-and-weight-loss) Contributed by: [Lindsay Perry, M.Ed, LPC Intern #79863](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/lindsayperry/) Clinical Supervision by Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/LINDSAY-PERRY-HEADSHOT-1-1024x688.png) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LINDSAY-PERRY-HEADSHOT-1-e1631302384595.png) 1-Lindsay Perry [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lindsayperry/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lindsayperry/) Mental Health EMDR Healing Trauma Relationships **Categories:** Counseling, Eating Disorders, Mental Health, Self-Awareness, Self-Esteem **Tags:** body, body image, mental health, physical health, self-esteem, shame, wellness --- ### [What to know about teletherapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/what-to-know-about-teletherapy/) **Published:** August 2, 2019 **Author:** 1-Elisa Squier **Excerpt:** Teletherapy is a practice that has become more popular as technology advances, creating easier access to mental health care. This can be a great resource, especially for those who live in more remote areas, but teletherapy may not be best suited for everyone. **Content:** In this age of ever-growing uses of technology, many medical groups are adding telehealth into their practices. Doctors have started incorporating online visits, such as video appointments to help reach more patients. This can be especially useful for those who may be too ill to make it into the office, or too busy to set up an office visit for a simple cold. Medical doctors are not the only ones using technology in this way. Therapists are also making teletherapy available to those who need the convenience. Online therapy is still fairly new, and many people may not know just how it works. ## What is Teletherapy? Teletherapy is therapy that takes place using an online video platform, a telephone, or even text or email messages. Teletherapy is a practice that has become more popular as technology advances, creating easier access to mental health care. This can be a great resource, especially for those who live in more remote areas, but teletherapy may not be best suited for everyone. ## Consider Confidentiality While traditional therapy requires you to drive to a therapist’s office, teletherapy provides a convenience of being able to meet wherever you’d like. However, this can also create some issues regarding confidentiality. A therapist’s office is a confidential meeting space in which the client can know that no one is listening in on their sensitive conversations. For teletherapy services, the therapist ensures that she is in a confidential location, such as her own office, but it is up to the client to ensure his own confidentiality, since he is not in the therapist’s physical space. ### Tips for creating a confidential space: 1\. Designate a room to be alone in during the time of a session 2\. Use headphones to limit voices carrying 3\. Limit or restrict visitors during session times ## Limitations of Teletherapy While there are benefits to teletherapy, there are some limitations. Certain presenting concerns are better served by in-office settings due to the higher levels of emotional stress. Those situations include high levels of suicidal thoughts or domestic violence. A therapist can more easily provide crisis help in person than remotely. ## Get to Know Your Therapist This is a good practice for any kind of therapy a person might do, whether in an office setting or online. Many therapists have specialty areas or certain ages they work with. If you can, look at a therapist’s profile or a practice’s website to learn more about who they work with and their preferred therapy style. ## FAQs 1\. What do I do during a visit? An online session should be treated just like an in-office visit. Though you may be in a more familiar setting, such as your bedroom or living room, therapy is still a place to examine yourself and process thoughts and events. During online sessions limit things that might distract you or divide your attention, such as browsing the internet or checking your phone. 2\. Does my therapist have to be in my same state? Yes. A therapist is licensed to practice in a specific state and therefore must only work with clients who reside in that same state. 3\. Do all therapists offer teletherapy? No. Some therapists prefer to use only traditional forms of in-office therapy. ## How to Get Started Fuller Life now offers online therapy services with our resident therapist, Elisa Squier. You can read more about her and her therapy practices [here](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/elisasquier). She is currently accepting new clients. [Contact](mailto:elisa@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org) her to ask any questions or set up your initial session. #### More information can be learned about our Telemental Health practices through our [Telemental Health Informed Consent and Agreement](https://fuller.na2.documents.adobe.com/public/esignWidget?wid=CBFCIBAA3AAABLblqZhBBmYROAbIaaJa8Kf_HOGaV6SF3PS9xWJzXXVh5VTVBpqb8V1QLkSEgDvB5NLzdcDY*). *References* *[AMFTRB Teletherapy Guidelines](https://amftrb.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Proposed-Teletherapy-Guidelines-DRAFT-as-of-09.12.16.pdf)* *[Advantages and disadvantages of online therapy by Kendra Cherry](https://www.verywellmind.com/advantages-and-disadvantages-of-online-therapy-2795225)* [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Elisa-Squier-Headshot-2018-e1522800536747.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Elisa-Squier-Headshot-2018-e1522800536747.jpg) Contributed by [Elisa Squier, M.MFT, LMFT Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/elisasquier/) Clinical Supervision by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/Elisa-Headshot.jpg) 1-Elisa Squier [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/elisasquier/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/elisasquier/) **Categories:** Counseling, Covid-19, Mental Health, Teletherapy **Tags:** confidentiality, online therapy, telehealth, teletherapy --- ### [5 Discipline Strategies Your Kids Want You to Know - Disciplining Your Kids Well, Part 2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/5-discipline-strategies-kids-want-know/) **Published:** August 15, 2019 **Author:** Tamara Tatum **Content:** In the [first part](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/disciplining-your-kids-well-part-1-common-misconceptions/) of this blog series, we discussed some common misconceptions about discipline. We learned that discipline is not about punishment, demanding respect or shaming, but rather about teaching. In this blog, we will go over five strategies to implement when disciplining your children. ### ***1. Catch your kids doing good.*** (Canadian Pediatric Society, 2004; Byrne Biancardi, 2014) We all respond well to positive reinforcement. In the workplace you would probably have a hard time wanting to learn from a supervisor who was always scolding you about what you’re doing wrong and never encouraged you in the ways you were doing your job well. With your children, pay attention not only when things are not going well, but when they are. Be specific with what you observe. ### ***2. Model how you would like your children to behave.*** The old saying “do as I say, not as I do” is never effective. Your kids are watching you and learning from you, perhaps more than you’d like! ### ***3. Connect with your child.*** This simply means to empathize with and validate your child’s experience (i.e., “I see that you are very upset/angry/frustrated right now”). Connection helps to move your child’s brain from a “reactive” emotion-driven state to a more receptive state in which they are ready to learn. It can also help to shift your brain from a reactive state to a state where you are able to teach. Connection has the longer-term impacts of deepening your relationship with your children as well as helping to develop the connections in their brains between the lower, more primitive and reactive, parts of the brain to the higher parts of the brain capable of self-regulation (Siegel and Payne, 2014). ### ***4. Address the behavior together.*** Once you have connected with your child, talk with them about the impact of his or her behavior and ask him or her what they would like to do to make it better. Involve them in the process of being accountable for their actions. For example, if your daughter had broken one of her brother’s toys, she might suggest giving one of her toys to him. ### ***5. Remind your child of your love for them****.* At the end of the day, it is important to reinforce for your child, “Even at your absolute worst, I am still with you and still love you.” Just like you would like to be thought of as more than just the sum totalof your good or bad actions, so would your child. We can inadvertently send the message to our children that they are only loveable when they are behaving well as opposed to being loveable just for who they are. We hope this series has been helpful for you as you do the hard, but rewarding, task of parenting your children well. #### Resources: Canadian Pediatric Society. Effective Discipline for Children. Pediatric Child Health. 2004 Jan; 9(1): 37–41. Siegel, D. J., & Bryson, T. P. (2014). No-drama discipline: The whole-brain way to calm the chaos and nurture your child’s developing mind (First edition.). New York: Bantam. Byrne-Biancardi, S. (2014). 6 Secrets of Highly Effective Discipline from a Seasoned Teacher. Contributed by [Tamara Tatum, LMFT-Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tamaratatum/)![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-e1515908052844.jpg)Tamara Tatum, Resident TherapistSupervised by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-e1631305233968.jpg) Tamara Tatum [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) Mental Health Family Therapy Divorce, Separation, Blended Families Parenting Healing Trauma Relationships **Categories:** Communication, Empathy, Family Therapy, Parenting, Parenting, Relationships, Sticky **Tags:** connection, effective discipline, Modeling, parenting --- ### [Simple Skills for School Success](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/school-success/) **Published:** September 4, 2018 **Author:** 1-Elisa Squier **Content:** Summer is coming to a close, which for families means one thing: school is back in session. No more sleeping in until noon, spending the day playing outside or lounging around watching TV. Now it’s time for waking up early, spending all day inside a classroom, coming home to do homework, to go to sleep early to do it all over again the next day. In other words, it’s time for routine again. Many things can make this transition difficult, but there are also ways to help make it easier for kids, teenagers, and even adults. By honing executive functioning skills, everyone can become more organized inside and out, ready to take on the day. ## **What are executive functioning skills?** Executive functioning skills are those skills necessary for everyday functioning. There are two main categories: behavioral and thinking skills. They are things such as the ability to complete tasks (behavioral), make decisions (thinking), and stay in control of emotions (behavioral). Both are equally important in helping a child make progress towards being an independent, fully functioning adult. ## **School strategies** There are a variety of ways to establish routine and begin honing these skills. Start with the ones that need strengthening first. When it comes to school, planning and time management are crucial skills, along with task initiation and persistence (not procrastinating). Teenagers may be able to do many of these things on their own, but if you have younger children, feel free to help them out. - Buy a calendar – or if you’re crafty, make one. Find ways of organizing deadlines, appointments, and events in one location that’s easy to see. - Set a specific time and place to do homework – preferably free from distractions like TV or cell phones. Consistency will train the brain to get into “work” mode before sitting down to tackle another math problem. - Create a reward system – that will help motivate you to get things done. Instead of punishing yourself for not doing something, treat yourself when you finish a goal. ## **Start young** The earlier you start training the brain, the easier it is to form good, lasting habits. But don’t freak out if this is the first time hearing about these skills! Brains are resilient and maintain plasticity throughout a person’s entire lifetime. That’s a fancy way of saying that brains can be trained to learn new habits at any age, though it does take less time at a younger age. ## **Be age appropriate** Executive functioning skills are naturally honed over time, which means that as a child’s brain grows, so will its ability to function well. As a parent helping to train a young one’s mind, it is important to remember that a 6-year-old will not have the same abilities as a 16-year-old, no matter how much they practice. Helpful Tips: - Modify chores or to-do lists to keep in mind a child’s ability - Keep in mind the child’s attention span Check out Harvard’s free activity [guide](https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/activities-guide-enhancing-and-practicing-executive-function-skills-with-children-from-infancy-to-adolescence/) for help finding activities for the right age group. ## **Adults can do it too!** It’s important that parents play an active role in developing their child’s skills, since environment plays as big of a role as biology. However, you can only teach as much as you know. Try keeping a consistent schedule for yourself or creating your own reward system for goals you want to reach. It’ll help you stay on track, and you’ll be setting a great example for your kids. Reference: Dawson, P. and R. Guare (2009). *Smart but scattered.* New York: Guilford Press. For more information: [Understanding Executive Functioning](http://askresource.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Executive-Functioning-Newsletter-PART-ONE.pdf) [Executive Function Is Key to Student Achievement](https://www.middleweb.com/37017/executive-function-is-key-to-student-achievement/) [What is Executive Functioning? Video](https://youtu.be/CYi2EzPkErs) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Elisa-Squier-Headshot-2018-e1522800536747-300x219.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Elisa-Squier-Headshot-2018-e1522800536747.jpg)Contributed by [Elisa Squier, M.MFT, LMFT Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/elisasquier/) Clinical Supervision by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/Elisa-Headshot.jpg) 1-Elisa Squier [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/elisasquier/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/elisasquier/) **Categories:** ADD-ADHD, Adolescents & Children, The Human Brain **Tags:** executive functioning, kids, school strategies, success --- ### [Stopping the Defensiveness Dance in Your Relationship](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/6293-2/) **Published:** July 31, 2018 **Author:** Angela Blocker **Content:** Are you stuck in a relationship where both of you are very defensive? If so, you know moving closer is difficult because before you must maneuver around a series of walls. How can you move forward? Many people have found success by learning to overcome the inevitable difficulties that come with the natural defensiveness that occurs in relationships. ## What’s Happening in Real Time? - Ensure your focus has a here-and-now orientation. You can avoid the pitfalls of either of you drudging up the past by keeping to the present. Also, it is a good idea to commit to addressing criticisms when they occur, instead of out of context and as a weapon. - Healthy confrontation involves a degree of humility. Taking a superior position or a one-up position opens the door for attack and closes the door to fulfilling relationship. Nobel Prize winning philosopher, Martin Buber, refers to this positioning as an I-It relationship. In this form of relationship, one person objectifies the other to serve the interest of the individual. In contrast, he discusses an I-Thou relationship in which both meet one another in their authentic existence with respect. - Make sure you demonstrate a genuine interest in the other. In each encounter, find ways to help the relationship win. Ask questions or offer feedback indicating you understand the other. If you do not, you will perceive each confrontation as an attack, instead as an opportunity. ## What’s Predictable? - It makes sense to know the “music” that you and your spouse “dance” to. Reflect on when the “tune” starts and what words, phrases, looks, or topics seem to put you in lockstep. Given your usual pattern of conflict, you can prepare yourself by expecting a reaction like blame, “legitimate” excuses, or a distortion/ exaggeration of your point. Take time to consider how helpful your former reactions have been and focus on the better ways you’ve responded in the past. Then, choose to take a deep breath, refuse to fight back, and look to respond in a way that values both yourself and your relationship. Remember, you can only change yourself. It’s a lesson to be learned over and over. As unsettling as this can be, a commitment to changing and accepting yourself offers liberation. While not always obvious, defensiveness needs a partner. Indeed, the very cycle of attack invites the other to defend with a counterattack. By changing the way you dance, however, you free yourself from these patterns. Defensiveness implies a need to be protected. The best protection you can give yourself and your spouse is knowing that you are strong and brave enough to respond rather than react. References Conley, R. (2014, June 29). Defensiveness Is Killing Your Relationships – How To Recognize It and What To Do About It. Retrieved from https://leadingwithtrust.com/2014/06/29/your-defensiveness-is-killing-your-relationships/ Gunther, R. (2017, May 17). En Guarde-How Defensiveness Can Destroy Love. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rediscovering-love/201705/en-guarde-how-defensiveness-can-destroy-love [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Angela-Blocker-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/)Contributed by [Angela Blocker , M.A, LMFT Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Clinical Supervision by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Angela-Blocker-LMFT-e1631303162413.png) Angela Blocker [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) Mental Health Play Therapy Parenting Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Couples, Emotions and Relationships, Marriage, Relationships **Tags:** boundaries, conflict, couples, defensiveness, emotions --- ### [Me, Myself, and I](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/me-myself-and-i/) **Published:** July 23, 2018 **Author:** Manet Castaneda **Content:** ### **The Self** The self is our sense of personal identity, it is a mental picture that we have of ourselves based on a number of things. The self is comprised of our moods, cognitions, behaviors, and relationships. Furthermore, the self is made up of our unique personal traits, physical characteristics, abilities, values, roles, and goals. Our sense of self begins to develop as young children and continues to develop throughout our lifetime. The experiences that we encounter throughout our lives have an impact on who we are and how we perceive ourselves. At times, it can be easy to lose our sense of self due to the interactions that we have with others, particularly loved ones. It is because of this that it is important to have a clear understanding of who we are. ### **Self-Awareness** Developing greater self-awareness is a necessary skill to learn if one is interested in growing as a more balanced and confident adult. Self-awareness is the extent to which we are focusing on and aware of our own self- concept. Our self-concept can be accessible for short periods of times like when we are in front of a mirror and we suddenly become aware of ourselves, or for longer periods of time like when we are clear and aware of our sexual preference. Because self-awareness comes and goes it is easy to lose sight of who are, and therefore more likely to violate our own values and norms. This is especially true when we are in a group setting where there is more pressure to conform to the group mentality. ### **Gaining Self-Awareness** Increasing self-awareness can be achieved through a number of mindful and intentional practices. As mentioned earlier, it is a skill to develop, and therefore requires time and intentionality. One of the best ways to gain greater self-awareness is to process your life story with a mental health professional who can help you gain greater insight into yourself. Seeking the help of a counselor can not only help you become more self-aware, but also can help you understand yourself better. Another way to practice self-awareness is by committing to dedicating 15-20 minutes of your day to exploring yourself and what you are about. You might even consider writing down ideas about who you are and what your values and beliefs are in order to gain greater clarity. Lastly, one way to learn more about yourself is through personality tests like the famous [Myers-Briggs](http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/home.htm?bhcp=1) or the [Enneagram personality assessment](https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-descriptions/). Being clear about who you are is essential for going through life and learning to develop further self-awareness is a skill that can be developed through mindful and intentional practice. Because our sense of self is influenced and molded by the world around us, it is important to be clear about where we stand in that world. Our sense of self develops as we go through life, and because of this practicing self-awareness can aid in growing as balanced and confident adults. For more information on the self and how to achieve greater awareness of the self, please visit: ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Manet-Castaneda-Fuller-Life-Headshot-scaled-e1631305448934.jpg) Manet Castaneda [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) Mental Health Sex Therapy Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Counseling, Emotional Intelligence, Mental Health, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Awareness, Self-Care Practices **Tags:** emotional intelligence, mental health, mindfulness practice, self-awareness, Self-Care Practice --- ### [Baby Makes Three: Moving from Couple to Family](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/baby-makes-three/) **Published:** July 17, 2018 **Author:** 1-Elisa Squier **Content:** A new baby can be a time for great celebration, but it can also be a terrifying and stressful experience. The first night – and many afterwards – can create anxiety as the new parents try to figure out how to take care of this fragile new human. Unfortunately, this anxiety that comes with inexperience and uncertainty doesn’t stay contained in the role as a parent – it affects how people behave in their role as spouse. It’s no wonder that marital tensions skyrocket during the first three years of parenthood. The bad news is that there’s no way to keep stress from your marriage and from your new family. The good news is this doesn’t mean resentment and distance have to become the new normal. Here are a few guidelines adapted from John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman’s book, *And Baby Makes Three* – an easy read about their years of research on first-time families. These will help you and your spouse – and the baby – stay connected and loving through the good – and the stressful – days ahead. ### **PRIORITIZE YOUR MARRIAGE** - #### *Remember that you have a partner, not just a baby* A huge source of tension comes from one partner feeling that he or she has been replaced by a newborn. It is important to continue to have joint time with the baby, as well as one-on-one time with your partner to keep the intimacy going. - #### *Appreciate your partner* When you feel like there is so much to do, remember that you and your partner are a team. Both of you have responsibilities. Both of you participate in the never-ending list of chores. Be sure to tell your spouse what you appreciate about her. Tell him you love him. Let her know you see what she is doing and thank her for it. - #### *Keep communication open about desires* Things are different now. What may have been pleasurable earlier in the relationship may no longer be pleasurable. Remember that the female body has just gone through a natural, but still traumatic, experience. Her body is initially keyed to the baby, whether breastfeeding or not. She may not be ready for sex. And when she is, she may not like the same things. Whether sexual or non-sexual attention, it is important for both to express their readiness and desires. ### **CHANGE THE WAY YOU FIGHT** - #### *Approach topics gently* Remember that both of you are tired and stressed with all the extra work and all the sleepless nights both of you have endured. Even though it will be one of the hardest times to do it, have patience with each other and present your needs or desires in noncritical ways. - #### *Apologize when you mess up* Nobody is perfect all the time. Again, remember that both of you are under a lot of pressure. You’re going to say things you don’t mean. Or use a harsh tone. Or forget to do something. The important thing is that when you do let the stress get the better of you, just apologize. Making things right in the moment helps to keep the tension between the two of you from building. - #### *Don’t argue in front of your baby* This is actually a crucial piece to keeping your baby healthy, especially in the early months.\* It doesn’t mean that you can’t argue. In fact, it would be unrealistic and detrimental to the relationship to hold things back. However, babies pick up on the emotional atmosphere, and it is important for them to maintain a calm and happy environment. Pick a time and a place where you and your partner can go to discuss whatever may be bothering you, and then come back together with the baby once neither of you feels agitated anymore. *\*This will begin to change once the baby gets to be a year or older and they have stronger cognitive abilities to understand arguments* Remember that this is a time of transition for both of you. No relationship is the same forever. There will be trial and error for both of you. But in the end, your family will thank you. For other daily marriage tips, you can subscribe to the Gottman Marriage Minute newsletter [here](https://www.gottman.com/marriage-minute/). For more parenting tips, check out our other posts [here](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/growing-kids-teens/). Reference: Gottman, J. M. & J. S. Gottman (2007). *And baby makes three*. New York: Three Rivers Press. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Elisa-Headshot-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Elisa-Headshot.jpg)Contributed by [Elisa Squier, M.MFT, LMFT Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/elisasquier/) Clinical Supervision by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/Elisa-Headshot.jpg) 1-Elisa Squier [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/elisasquier/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/elisasquier/) **Categories:** Adolescents & Children, Marriage, Parenting, Parenting, Relationships **Tags:** baby, conflict, family, marriage, parenting --- ### [The Science of Quiet](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-science-of-quiet/) **Published:** May 3, 2018 **Author:** Shani Bell **Content:** ### The Method of Madness Imagine the days before the internet, before television, even before radio. Imagine a time when the senses were not constantly inundated with competing sources of sound and imagery. That, my friend, is quiet. Our world is bombarded with all kinds of sensory information—music, video, talking, billboards, the noise of the city, laughter, alarms. But our brains need a break from even the most enjoyable stimuli. Studies indicate that even low levels of constant noise increase stress levels and impair our ability to function properly. A growing body of research also highlights the impact that too much visual input from sources like the [internet](http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0134538) has on problems like anxiety. It also [disrupts our attention and learning ability](https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/heavily-decorated-classrooms-disrupt-attention-and-learning-in-young-children.html). ### Experiment with Quiet Silence, however, has been found to [have a greater impact on relaxation](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1860846/) than even listening to relaxing music. Authors, artists, and many great thinkers have used the discipline of quiet time [to develop ideas](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/199801/the-call-solitude). Quiet time has actually been found to [improve brain circulation and help grow new brain cells](http://nautil.us/issue/38/noise/this-is-your-brain-on-silence-rp). Similarly, [decreasing visual “noise](https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/heavily-decorated-classrooms-disrupt-attention-and-learning-in-young-children.html)” contributes to greater concentration Finding quiet might seem impossible in a society where the advancement of sales, popularity and political agendas seems hinged on how much information can be pumped into our systems. But there are tools to help give your brain a break. 1. [Plan and prioritize.](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/imperfect-spirituality/201312/5-ways-find-quiet-in-chaotic-day) Put quiet time in your schedule. Prioritize it as an appointment and do not allow others to intrude upon it. Would you brush off a doctor’s appointment to have a last-minute lunch date? Then try giving your personal time the same importance. It’s for your own good. 2. Do it naturally. Sometimes removing yourself from your typical environment surrounded by modern technology is your best bet. Reconnect with the outdoors. Head to a park or spend a little time in the backyard. Sit and focus on one leaf or close your eyes and listen to the simple sound around you. 3. Do it spiritually. Your quiet time is your sacred space. You can view as a time to just listen inwardly, contemplate and reconnect spiritually. Find that higher focus to help you stay in tune. 4. Take what you can get. Locate the unused moments in your life where you could be quiet. Use your ride to and from work to disconnect from the noise. Find an unoccupied space at work and sit for 5 minutes with your eyes closed. The little moments can add up. ### Healthy Results Getting the quiet that your brain craves is more about a change in perspective. Modern society can make you feel that every free moment must be occupied with getting or disseminating information. We think we will fall behind or miss the next important thing if we do not constantly stay connected. Sometimes we can grow so used to the noise around us that we no longer realize what we are constantly taking in. Begin by changing your mind about the importance of quiet. Then shhhhhh…. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Shani-Bell-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-300x220.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shanibell/)Contributed by Shani[ Bell, MAAT, LPC-Intern](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shanibell/) Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Fuller-Life-2018-Shani-Bell-LPC-ATR-copy-1-e1631304334456.jpg) Shani Bell [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) Art Therapy Mindfulness Anxiety **Categories:** Anxiety Issues, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Self-Awareness, Self-Care Practices **Tags:** mindfulness practice, self-care practices, solitude, stress management --- ### [Keys to a Good Night's Sleep](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/keys-good-nights-sleep/) **Published:** April 11, 2018 **Author:** Tamara Tatum **Content:** Sleep. We all know we need it, but it be one of the first things to go during busier or more stressful times. Times when we need a good night’s rest all the more! ### Why is sleep important? Good sleep is important for a number of reasons, a couple of which are… - ##### It helps our brains work - Sleep helps us to learn and remember information, be creative, make decisions and modulate our emotions. - ##### It keeps us physically healthy - Sleep is associated with prevention of heart disease, kidney disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, and stroke. (Adapted from this [article](https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/node/4605)) ### Given that sleep is so important, how do we make sure we are getting the amount we need? Realistically, we cannot expect to work a hectic day, come home, watch TV or spend time on our phones, plop into bed and then magically drift off into dreamland. While that may work for some, it does not work for most. According to Shannon McClain, in an interview with Jennifer Christian on Self-Compassion Houston, getting a good night’s rest starts with some intentional preparation hours before bedtime. ### Tips to a good night’s rest #### 1. Simulate dusk with de-illumination We are used to having bright lights on long after the sun has gone down. We can begin to simulate dusk and get our bodies ready for sleep by closing the curtains, dimming the lights and putting screens and phones away at least an hour before bed time. #### 2. Begin a nighttime ritual Having a consistent nighttime ritual can be helpful for preparing for sleep. For example, taking a bath, going through a spiritual practice, journaling or taking time to reflect on the day. #### 3. Remember that waking up at night is okay We can wake up at night for many reasons – to go to the bathroom, hearing loud noises, having stressful thoughts, etc. Wakefulness in the night does not always mean insomnia and does not need to be a cause for alarm. We can remind ourselves that it is okay to wake up in the middle of the night. If we find our mind running with many thoughts, keeping a bedside journal to write down some of those thoughts can be helpful. #### 4. Prepare your environment Ensuring the environment, you sleep in is cool, dark, quiet and clean (tidy, clean bedding) are also essentials for preparing for sleep. While it may be challenging to teach ourselves to slow down and prioritize something as seemingly unproductive as sleep, it is essential for a good night’s rest and a happier, healthier life as a result! For more information on how to prepare for sleep, check out Jennifer Christian Counseling’s podcast Additionally, this [video](http://www.businessinsider.com/what-happens-when-you-dont-get-enough-sleep-2017-12) by Matthew Walker emphasizes the importance of sleep and the negative impacts of sleep deprivation Resources http://www.businessinsider.com/what-happens-when-you-dont-get-enough-sleep-2017-12 https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/node/4605 https://jenniferchristiancounseling.com/sleep/ Contributed by [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-150x150.jpg)Tamara Tatum, LMFT-Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tamaratatum/) Supervised by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-e1631305233968.jpg) Tamara Tatum [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) Mental Health Family Therapy Divorce, Separation, Blended Families Parenting Healing Trauma Relationships **Categories:** Lifestyle, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Care Practices, Sleep Disorders **Tags:** rest, self-care, sleep --- ### [The Recipe for a Resilient Family ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resilient-families/) **Published:** November 23, 2019 **Author:** Tamara Tatum **Content:** Every family experience some form of hardship. Have you ever noticed how some families seem to bounce back, perhaps even using their trials for good, while others never quite seem to recover? What makes some families more resilient? *Family resilience* is the ability to “withstand and rebound from disruptive life challenges, strengthened and more resourceful” (Walsh, 2011). While it may seem that some families are” born” with an inherent ability to withstand difficulty, the good news is than any family can grow their resilience (Pogosyan, 2017). [Dr. Froma](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-cultures/201710/what-makes-families-resilient) Walsh is a family therapist and leading expert on family resilience. She has identified nine main ingredients for family resilience, divided into three categories: belief systems (what the family thinks and believes); organizational patterns (how the family acts and relates to one another), and communication patterns (how the family speaks and communicates). Any family can mix together these nine ingredients to make their own, unique family resilience “recipe.” ### **Belief** **systems** *Resilient families…* 1. Are able to make meaning of the adversity, perhaps by normalizing the hardship or viewing it as an opportunity for growth. 2. Have a hopeful and positive outlook. They seize opportunities and persevere. 3. Have a sense of purpose, larger values or some form of spirituality/faith to lean on. ### **Organizational patterns** *Resilient families…* 1. Are flexible and able to adapt to new circumstances while also maintaining some stability (rituals, routines, strong leadership). 2. Are connected and supportive of one another. They respect each other as individuals. 3. Have social and economic resources by mobilizing the support of kin, social and community networks. ### **Communication** **patterns** *Resilient families…* 1. Have clear communication. They seek and speak truth. 2. They are open with their emotions and willing to share a range of feelings without blaming or “lashing out”. 3. Are able to tap into their inner resourcefulness and collaborate to problem solve. At Fuller Life, we believe there is hope for all families to thrive after a hardship. We are here to walk alongside as you do. Resources Pogosyan, M. (2017). What Makes Families Resilient? https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-cultures/201710/what-makes-families-resilient Walsh, F. (2011). Family resilience: a collaborative approach in response to stressful life challenges. *Resilience and mental health: Challenges across the lifespan*, 149-161. Contributed by [Tamara Tatum, LMFT-Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tamaratatum/)![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-e1515908052844.jpg)Tamara Tatum, Resident TherapistSupervised by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-e1631305233968.jpg) Tamara Tatum [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) Mental Health Family Therapy Divorce, Separation, Blended Families Parenting Healing Trauma Relationships **Categories:** Communication, Family Therapy, Parenting, Problem Solving, Relationships **Tags:** belief system, communication patterns, families, organizational patterns, resilience --- ### [Real Talk: Should you Talk with Your Partner about Porn?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/real-talk-talk-partner-porn/) **Published:** August 28, 2019 **Author:** Manet Castaneda **Content:** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/canstockphoto53533449-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/canstockphoto53533449.jpg) Real Talk: Should You Talk with Your Partner about Porn? One of the most challenging conversations you can have with your partner is about pornography. While some consider it adultery to watch porn, others consider it a normal part of sexuality. Regardless of where you stand, talking with your partner about porn can open doors to strengthen and develop your relationship. Here are a few things to keep in mind when talking about porn with your partner. ### Know Yourself First, know where you stand on the issue. If you are uncomfortable with this topic, consider asking yourself what is uncomfortable. Explore what feels uncomfortable, so you can have more insight into yourself. If you are not uncomfortable, consider what draws you toward the use of porn and why. Knowing your comfort level helps you be clear about your preferences as you discuss this with your partner. [Studies](https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/0092623X.2012.751077) show that couples who are open to discussing their porn usage are more satisfied in their relationship than those who do not. Chances are you will have different things to say about the issue, so it is important to know where you stand first. ### Invite a Conversation Second, invite a conversation with your significant other. Once you know where you stand on the role of pornography, you can then seek to understand your partner’s position. From this place you can discuss together if porn is something you would like to incorporate into your relationship or if it is something you definitely do not want to incorporate. Knowing your [boundaries h](https://www.bustle.com/articles/173781-how-to-negotiate-porn-boundaries-in-a-relationship)elps with this and can help guide your conversation with your partner. Remember your partner may have a different opinion than yours, so seek to ask and learn before making assumptions. ### Remain Open Keep in mind that your partner may or may not be open to having this [conversation](https://www.bustle.com/p/freaked-out-that-your-partner-watches-porn-heres-how-to-handle-it-62267), so remain open to the possibility of your partner NOT wanting to talk about the topic. If your partner IS willing to sit down and discuss this topic with you, remain open to hearing what they have to say. Remember this: talking about pornography in your relationship is better than the alternative of not talking about it. Many couples avoid the topic or make assumptions which can lead to misunderstanding, feelings of betrayal and hurt. If you avoid difficult topics in your relationship, you also avoid growing in your relationship. For more tips on having conversations about pornography with your partner take a look at the following Articles: - Having the Talk about Pornography - How to Talk to Your Significant Other about [Pornography](https://www.catholicsingles.com/blog/talk-about-pornography/) - [Challenging ](https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/challenging-conversations.html)Conversations with Your Partner. ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Manet-Castaneda-Fuller-Life-Headshot-scaled-e1631305448934.jpg) Manet Castaneda [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) Mental Health Sex Therapy Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Addiction & Recovery, Boundaries, Communication, Counseling, Intimacy & Sex Therapy, Lifestyle, Marriage, Sexual Education **Tags:** Addiction, communications, intimacy, lifestyle, porn --- ### [Life Giving Choices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/life-giving-choices/) **Published:** October 3, 2012 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** Part 2 of [Trust Your Choices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/decisions-choices/) Not a day goes by without the need to make choices. Big and small. What am I going to eat? What do I want to wear? Do I take the kids to the park or play in the yard? Which high school? Which college? Which degree? Which job? Marriage? We can make decisions that move us toward life-giving choices and honor our unique gifts and talents. Decisions can feel overwhelming if we feel the need to find the correct, perfect, or right answer. Discernment is an approach to decision-making that suggests “getting it right” may not be the goal after all. Instead the goal of this process is growth. We can only make the *best* decision for ourselves when we lean in to choices that energize us instead of drain us. In [Pierre Wolfe’s book, *Discernment*](http://www.amazon.com/Discernment-Choosing-Well-Revised-Edition/dp/076480989X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1349285843&sr=8-1&keywords=discernment+pierre), he discusses a framework that assumes every person has the tools to make the best choices for him or herself. The tools that make up this framework are time, values, head, and heart. - Time: To the extent the situation permits, try not to make a decision in a hurry. A good rule of thumb is, “The bigger the decision, the more time we need to give ourselves.” - Values: We focus on priorities and the things that are most important to us. Some examples include compassion, kindness, courtesy, cooperation, loyalty, forgiveness, gratitude, friendship, honesty, hope, patience, love, humility, etc. Our values can form an umbrella under which we make our decisions and help us honor others and ourselves in the process. - Head (logic): This is where we collect and investigate information about each option. We can make lists and t-charts listing out the pros and cons. We can seek advice from trusted friends, teachers, ministers, mentors, family members, etc. Be careful of those that say “you need to”, “should”, or “must.” Obeying other’s “shoulds” and “musts” drains the life out of most people, and is correlated with anxiety. Someone else’s choice may not be the best one for us. We all have unique gifts and talents that are life giving. - Heart (feelings): One way to think about *heart* is to ask the questions: “Does this choice feel energizing? Does it light me up inside?” or “Does this choice feel draining? Does it suck life out of me?” Ultimately the goal of making decisions is to choose those that feel life giving (energizing). Once all options are weighed, ask, “How do I *feel* about each one?” Take the example of buying a house. At the end of the house hunting process, there are two or three possible homes that meet the criteria (square footage, bathrooms, etc). Friends may like one or the other better. But, in the end, the selection comes down to a feeling. Which house feels better to me? If there is still an uncomfortable or anxious feeling about a decision, it is not a good time to settle. If at all possible, take more time to work toward a feeling of peace or comfort with the decision. Each one of us is worth the time of making decisions that honor our own unique areas of strength. As we make decisions we begin to grow and learn more about ourselves. If you are in the midst of making decisions and feel stuck, Fuller Life Family Therapy desires to help you work through this process. We can work together toward life giving choices that honor your own unique strengths and talents. [Wolff, Pierre. (2003). *Discernment: The Art of Choosing Well*.](http://www.amazon.com/Discernment-Choosing-Well-Revised-Edition/dp/076480989X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1349285843&sr=8-1&keywords=discernment+pierre) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Anxiety & Panic, Boundaries, Emotional Intelligence, Relationships, Sticky **Tags:** anxiety, boundaries, decisions, growth, relationships --- ### [Sticking Together through Transitions](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sticking-together-through-transitions/) **Published:** November 21, 2013 **Author:** Scott Rampy **Content:** [![canstockphoto1606279](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/canstockphoto1606279-300x199.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/canstockphoto1606279.jpg)Family life is marked by transitional moments. Throughout life together a couple could celebrate their first date, engagement, wedding day, anniversaries, birthdays, birthdays of children, first days of school, first day of college, retirement, becoming grandparents, and more. These moments are photographed, videotaped, remembered and celebrated. Time is marked by before and after these transitional events. #### Change can be stressful Yet even for such happy moments each transition carries with it a certain amount of stress. Few couples escape the wedding planning process without some measure of conflict between each other or with in-laws or families. While the college freshman is embarking on a new exciting adventure, the house never feels the same for parents and younger siblings. Other transitions are even more difficult – a family member is sick, a breadwinner gets laid off, a marriage ends, or a loved one passes on. It is in transitional periods that families encounter the most difficulty. Transitions are both tests of strength and opportunities for growth. #### Talk it out together when in transition So how does a family successfully navigate transitional moments? Perhaps the most important ingredient is communication. This involves not only the act of speaking but, perhaps more importantly, the manner it is received and the response. A supportive atmosphere invites communication and is characterized by warmth, softness, non-judgmental responding and non-defensiveness. This means the goal is to hear and understand, rather than help or give advice. #### Be positive on purpose [![canstockphoto1606281](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/canstockphoto1606281-300x199.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/canstockphoto1606281.jpg)Such an atmosphere does not often come naturally to a family. It needs to be cultivated during the times between transition. Renowned marriage researcher Dr. John Gottman refers to this atmosphere as either Positive Sentiment Override or Negative Sentiment Override. In other words, is the overall mood of the relationship more positive or more negative? This is changeable based on the ratio of positive interactions to negative interactions between family members. #### Commit to communicate ahead of time Transitional moments are made worse when going through them alone. Make a commitment to be a supportive listening partner to your family members and you will contribute to a supportive atmosphere for yourself as well. Between these moments, endeavor to build these skills in preparation for the challenges sure to come. For more, view our other posts in the [Communication category](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/communication/) of our blog. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Scott-Rampy-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Scott-Rampy.jpg) [Scott Rampy, M.MFT, LMFT](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/scott-rampy/) Associate Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6829-e1631305127874.jpg) Scott Rampy [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) Mental Health Family Therapy Relationships Divorce, Separation, Blended Families **Categories:** Anxiety & Panic, Communication, Grief, Relationships, Sticky **Tags:** divorce, family stress, grief, listening, Transitions --- ### [The Shift We Need to Save Our Kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/howtosaveourkids/) **Published:** June 25, 2014 **Author:** Lesley Anne Mendonça **Content:** *This article starts an ongoing series, titled “How To Save Our Kids”, in an attempt to support our teens and families more. Stay tuned-in to the Fuller Life Family Therapy Blog for more on this topic!* At any given point in our human history, our culture **keeps no secrets** as to its ailments. Rather, our culture mercifully shows us how it hurts through *symptoms*. To face the sometimes ugly wounds of our culture is uncomfortable, to say the least. However, if we are able to tolerate that discomfort long enough to listen, we can hear *exactly where* we are hurting in our societal family. In the wake of the most recent U.S. school shooting, we are at a staggering [74 shootings](http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2014/jun/13/everytown-gun-safety/have-there-been-74-school-shootings-sandy-hook-clo/ "Speculated Statistic") since the tragic Sandy Hook shooting in December of 2012. We, as a culture, are hurting; and our kids are taking the hit for us. There is a rapidly growing body of literature on the [shifting needs](http://www.chron.com/default/article/Mental-health-5551501.php "Mental Health Needs") of a better state- and nation-wide [mental health system](http://www.chron.com/default/article/It-s-time-to-reassess-the-nation-s-mental-health-4260643.php "Mental Health Policies"), however the buck does not stop with policy makers and proper legislation. If we trace this state of unrest and violence to the source – where do we truly find ourselves? What drives a child or adolescent to become *so* angry, *so* alone, and *so* filled with fear? A young person who is driven to an act of violence that implicates their entire school must not feel supported, encouraged or cared for. The emotional and psychological needs of our children go by the wayside *if our adults are unable to care for them*. So the issue we have on our hands is *not* limited to our young people, but rather implicates our entire society at large: **We, as a culture, are being called to boldly reprioritize our value system and place mental health at the top.** Whether we are a parent, a relative, a teacher or simply a U.S. citizen – each of us come into contact with adolescents and therefore bear a role. Here are a few self-reflective questions to help us get started in reprioritizing, and responding lovingly – yet boldly – to the state of things. **How is my own mental health? When is the last time I had a mental health check-up?** Dr. Amy Fuller, founder of Fuller Life Family Therapy, recommends routine mental health check-ups as frequent as every six months. Every human person requires physical care, mental care and emotional care. Can we properly support our young people if we, ourselves, are hurting? Mental Health America (MHA) offers [free initial screenings online](http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/mental-health-screening-tools "Free Online Screenings") for four of the most common pitfalls in mental health. Check out the following ten tips from MHA on how to take care of ourselves holistically! \[Click each tip for more information.\] 1. [Connect with others](http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/connect-others) 2. [Stay positive](http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/stay-positive) 3. [Get physically active](http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/get-physically-active) 4. [Help others](http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/help-others) 5. [Get enough sleep](http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/get-enough-sleep) 6. [Create joy and satisfaction](http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/create-joy-and-satisfaction) 7. [Eat well](http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/eat-well) 8. [Take care of your spirit](http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/take-care-your-spirit) 9. [Deal better with hard times](http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/deal-better-hard-times) 10. [Get professional help if you need it](http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/get-professional-help-if-you-need-it) **Do I know what the typical teenager is struggling with in contemporary culture?** We, as adults, are working hard and doing what is necessary to provide for ourselves and our families. It stands to reason that we might see this as top-priority! However, our teenagers are busy waging wars in their social circles and within themselves. They are learning new, and often troubling things, as they cross the bridge from childhood to adolescence. It can be traumatic, scary and incredibly confusing. We cannot forget to be there for our adolescents as they experience this jarring transition; **this is our new priority.** Issues like suicide, sex, drugs, alcohol, and social media concerns are bombarding our kid’s minds and hearts through every channel on a daily basis. Our role as adults is to stay connected with our young people to help them feel supported and safe as they learn and grow. Though we can only go so far to protect the minds and hearts of our young people, we can stay current with their culture and learn how it affects them. If we are unfamiliar with what is out there – why not start boning up on pop culture and learning what is important to our kids? The [Center for Parent/Youth Understanding](http://www.cpyu.org/ "Center for Parent/Youth Understanding") is a brilliant resource to begin familiarizing ourselves with what is trending in youth culture. Though it is geared towards parents, this website has something for each of us to learn about youth culture. **How do I communicate with the young people I come into contact with?** If we want our young people to feel supported, we must learn to keep open lines of honest communication with adolescents. Statistically speaking, roughly 20 to 40 percent of teens will experience more than one episode of depression, lasting an average of eight months within a period of two years; 70 percent of troubled teens will experience another episode before adulthood (Source: [Parent Resources](http://parentresources.hubpages.com/hub/Troubled-Teens-Statistics "Parent Resources")). What this means to us is that – at any given time – our teens have *at least* one thing on their minds and hearts that has potential to bring them down. Perhaps our teens desperately need to talk, but need the adults in their lives to be the ones to reach out. So how do we reach out in a way that can truly reach our young ones? We can start with these initial tips, borrowed from adolescent expert [Dr. Michele Borba](http://micheleborba.com/blog/100-ways-to-let-kids-know-you-care/ "100 Ways To Let Kids Know You Care"): 1\. Rather than multitask, give your full attention to teens when they speak to you. 2\. Practice empathy rather than advice-giving. 3\. Routinely ask if there is anything on a teens mind or heart. If you get a wall, you can gently ask again. Then simply let them know you are there for them. 4\. Empower teens by asking questions about their thoughts and opinions. 5\. Respect young people and the journey they are on. Practice patient compassion for the developmental challenges teens are undergoing. These things, though simple, can help a teen feel a sense of belonging, importance and worth – which *naturally* and *effectively* wards off lonely down-spirals of anger and frustration. With the support of a loving and attentive adult, there is no issue that a teen cannot handle. We are living in a time when mental health needs can no longer be on the back burner, and our teens are reminding ***each*** *of us* of our role in helping to heal our culture. Stay tuned into the Fuller Life Family Therapy Blog for more on how to show up for our teens! [![Lesley Anne Mendonça](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Lesley-Photo-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Lesley-Photo.jpg) **Lesley Anne Mendonça** **M.A., LMFT-Associate, LPC-Intern** **Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, LMFT-S, LPC-S** **A Note on School Shootings:** For more information on school shootings and how to get involved, visit Stop The Shootings. Looking for some tips on how to talk about school shootings with children? Read up on what Dr. Gregory L. Jantz writes in [*Hope for Relationships* ](http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hope-relationships/201406/how-talk-about-school-shootings-children "How To Talk To Our Kids About School Shootings")for some great tools. We, as a societal family, have an obligation to persevere in caring for one another – and that care **must** include emotional and psychological well-being. We are called to make an ongoing commitment to [lasting change](http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/face-it/201301/trauma-can-spark-change "How Trauma Can Spark Change"). ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6838-e1631304820220.jpg) Lesley Anne Mendonça Lesley is a Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy. She practices individual, marital and family counseling, and has a background in ministry with adolescents. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) Mental Health Play Therapy Relationships Parenting Family Therapy [ ![social network icon](data:image/svg+xml;base64,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) ](https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesleymendonca/) **Categories:** Adolescents & Children, Communication, Parenting, Sticky, Trauma and Loss **Tags:** adolescents, adolescents and children, Empathy, parenting, teenagers --- ### [The Power of Positive Emotions](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-power-of-gratitude/) **Published:** November 25, 2013 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** **Wired for Danger** We have a natural tendency to focus on what goes wrong. Over thousands of years we have developed a built-in survival mechanism wired to detect danger. Our minds know that learning from negative experiences is a matter life or death. Our brains are like velcro for anything negative that crosses our path. This skill is important for our survival but also impacts our feelings. If focus only on negatives, we can become angry, anxious, or depressed. On the other hand, positive or neutral experiences happen all the time each day, but have no bearing on whether we will live or die. Our brains are like teflon for the positive experiences. Something pleasant happens, it slides right off, and we continue through our day. What does this have to do with how we think, act, and feel? **Nourish the Brain** According to neuropsychologist, Rick Hanson, where we place our focus has the power to shape our brains. > If you rest your mind on self-criticism, worries, grumbling about others, hurts, and stress, then your brain will be shaped into greater reactivity, vulnerability to anxiety and depressed mood, a narrow focus on threats and losses, and inclinations toward anger, sadness and guilt. On the other hand, if you rest your mind on good events and conditions (someone was nice to you, or there’s a roof over your head), pleasant feelings, the things you do get done, physical pleasures, and your good intentions and qualities, then over time your brain will take on a different shape, one with strength and resilience hardwired into it, as well as a realistically optimistic outlook, a positive mood, and a sense of worth. [Hanson](http://www.amazon.com/Hardwiring-Happiness-Science-Contentment-Confidence/dp/0385347316/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1385396097&sr=8-1&keywords=rick+hanson) suggests that we have the power to build inner strength and resilience by focusing on positive experiences in such a way that our brains are reshaped to respond to life with more positive feelings, sense of calm, and confidence. He suggests that we literally “hold the good” for as long as 10-20 seconds each time we have a pleasant experience. In his new book, *Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence*, Hanson has a number of simple practices that have powerful benefits. He developed the HEAL exercise to build the positive centers of the brain and also decrease the negative charge of painful experiences, both past and present: **HEAL** - “H: Have a positive experience: - Notice a positive experience that’s already present in your awareness, such as a physical pleasure, a sense of determination, or feeling close to someone. Or create a positive experience for which you’re grateful, bring to mind a friend, or recognize a task you’ve completed. As much as you can, help ideas like these become emotionally rewarding *experiences*, otherwise it is merely positive *thinking*. - E: Enrich it: - Stay with the positive experience for five to ten seconds or longer. Open to the feelings in it and try to sense it in your body; let it fill your mind. Enjoy it. Gently encourage the experience to be more intense. Find something fresh and novel about it. Recognize how it’s personally relevant, how it could nourish or help you, or make a difference in your life. Get those neurons really firing together, so they’ll really wire together. - [![Photograph by Becky EnVérité](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/869281917_ed1a805a22_z-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/869281917_ed1a805a22_z.jpg)Photograph by [Becky EnVérité](http://www.flickr.com/photos/17639367@N00/869281917/in/photolist-2jPieg-2wCV2s-48Rwjb-4pMVQx-4reuod-4rhUpK-4E6Qfg-4NTsU2-4VkVry-55QbmW-5cQ2me-5dSTKu-5gxzuy-5iXo8m-5thcRE-5B3bWK-5B3cWi-5B7rcm-5B7s2U-5B7scL-5B7sm1-5B7sEL-5KtPx5-5NV4wo-5V3rkU-5V3rME-5Y57Yn-5Y5bGr-5Y5cw8-5Y9rE3-5YCJp3-5ZWwFy-643jKG-6f2tpg-6AghCp-6Akq3E-7517uj-7xnD6G-hmH2qt-d6x8qN-b8u6Wr-bWxZHY-bWxZG9-bWxZvb-bWytXo-aPwg3e-boDkNZ-c6yYAu-c6z3Eb-d4pXkJ-7F6yXb "Wedding Hearts") A: Absorb it: - Intend and sense that the experience is sinking into you as you sink into it. Let it really land in your mind. Perhaps visualize it sifting down into you like golden dust, or feel it washing you like a soothing balm. Or place it like a jewel in the treasure chest of your heart. Know that the experience is becoming part of you, a resource inside that you can take with you wherever you go. - L: Link positive and negative material (optional) - While having a vivid and stable sense of a positive experience in the foreground of awareness, also be aware of something negative in the background. For example, when you feel included and liked these days, you could sense this experience making contact with feelings of loneliness from your past. If negative material hijacks your attention, drop it and focus only on the positive; when you feel recentered in the positive, you can let the negative also be present in awareness if you like. Whatever you want, let go of all negative material and rest only in the positive. Then, to continue uprooting the negative material, a few times over the next hour be aware of only neutral or positive material while also bringing to mind neutral things (e.g., people, situations, ideas) that have become associated with negative material.” [(Hanson, 2013)](http://www.amazon.com/Hardwiring-Happiness-Science-Contentment-Confidence/dp/0385347316/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1385396097&sr=8-1&keywords=rick+hanson "Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence") When we “hold the good,” we open our hearts to experience joy, and remind ourselves that *each moment is our life*. [Hanson, Rick, Ph.D. (2013). Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence.](http://www.amazon.com/Hardwiring-Happiness-Science-Contentment-Confidence/dp/0385347316/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1385396097&sr=8-1&keywords=rick+hanson "Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence") [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Anger Management, Anxiety & Panic, Depression, Relationships, The Human Brain **Tags:** anxiety, depression, gratitude, mental health, Self-Care Practice --- ### [Challenges Faced by Single Parents](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parenting-marriage/) **Published:** August 9, 2012 **Author:** Scott Rampy **Content:** Fuller Life is a place that facilitates healing. Our aim is to provide a bridge through difficult times and promotes hope in difficult relationships. You may sympathize with this mission as well. Though you may not have the training to offer this service yourself, there is an opportunity for you to be involved in this goal. We need others to know that we are an available resource. We need partners to support us financially. Please contact us if you would like to discuss further about participating in this mission with us. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Photo-2-for-NY-Times-article.jpg "parenting ")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Photo-2-for-NY-Times-article.jpg) The AAMFT recently highlighted a penetrating [article by the NY Times](http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/15/us/two-classes-in-america-divided-by-i-do.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all) published last month with great significance for the work we do at Fuller Life. The article compared two women – both mothers of elementary aged children with similar salaries, the same race, and the same level of education. Yet the quality of life they and their children experience could not be more disparate. What is the main difference? One is married and receives financial and parenting support from her husband; the other is single and carries the weight of providing for all the needs of her children by herself. The article highlights the increasing challenges of the single-parent family and the struggles these parents and their children face. What if this situation could be prevented? What if single parents and their children could find some relief? Fuller life can be a healing place for families of single-parent and dual parent homes. We desire to offer hope in the face of the many challenges families face today. Join a conversation with us to find out how you can participate in our mission to provide healing and hope to the underinsured and uninsured families in the Houston area. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Scott-Rampy-150x150.jpg "Scott Rampy")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Scott-Rampy.jpg)[Scott Rampy, M.MFT, LMFTA](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/scott-rampy/) Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6829-e1631305127874.jpg) Scott Rampy [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) Mental Health Family Therapy Relationships Divorce, Separation, Blended Families **Categories:** Counseling, Family Therapy, Financial Issues, Parenting **Tags:** counseling, equitable counseling, family therapy, parenting, single parent --- ### [Scary Thoughts](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/scary-thoughts/) **Published:** October 28, 2013 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** [Ph*otograph by Conor MacNeill*](http://www.flickr.com/photos/thefella/5714866351/ "Once Upon a Midnight Dreary") With Halloween around the corner, it seems like a good idea to go a little scary at Fuller Life Family Therapy. This week will be full of kids in adorable costumes, colorful candy, brightly lit pumpkins, and haunted houses. Halloween brings an element of fun to all things scary. Most of us are already fully aware of the things that scare us. Along with ghosts and trick-or-treaters, common fears include heights, spiders, shots, and snakes. We might be surprised at the things that cause fear in others, and they might be surprised at what scares us, even our own thoughts. Our thinking actually has as much power to make us scared as a big spider. **The Threat and Self-Protection System** The brain is beautifully designed to keep us safe as it is constantly on the lookout for anything that may be dangerous. > The function of (the threat-protection system) is to detect and pick up on threats quickly and select a response, e.g., fight, flight, freeze or some other coping efforts, and give us bursts of emotions such as anxiety, anger or disgust. These feelings ripple through our bodies alerting us and urging us to take action against the threat. The system will also be activated if there are threats to people we love, our friends or our group. (Gilbert, 2010) When danger is evident, the body is immediately flooded with chemicals and hormones that create an instantaneous reaction. In other words, we get that “scary” feeling. Our ability to protect ourselves (or run or freeze) kicks into high gear. After the threat passes, our bodies are designed to regulate back to “normal” and relax. **Scary Thoughts** [![Anxiety or fear](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Anxiety-or-fear-300x199.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Anxiety-or-fear.jpg)However, our thoughts also influence the threat processes in our brain and can hinder the body’s ability to calm itself back to normal. When we engage in self-critical or self-judgmental thinking, our body actually acts in much the same way as an actual threat. > Self-criticism appears to have a (very similar) effect on our body. When we experience a threatening situation, the flight-or fight response is triggered: the amygdala sends signals that increase blood pressure, adrenaline, and the hormone cortisol, mobilizing the strength and energy needed to confront or avoid a threat. Although this system was designed by evolution to deal with physical attacks, it is activated just as readily by emotional attacks from ourselves and others. (Neff, 2011) In other words, negative, self-critical, or judgmental thinking stimulates the brain in the very same way as an actual threat. The body is flooded with hormones, and we are flooded with emotions to cope with the danger. **Scary Thoughts** Here are some examples of scary thoughts: - What if I fail? - No one cares. - I am unworthy of love. - It is all my fault. - I always mess up. - No one understands. - What if \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_? (fill in the blank with the worst possible scenario) - I have to be perfect to be liked. **Courage and Compassion** Often, when “negative tapes” play in our mind, it is because our mind is working very hard to keep us safe and out of danger. Unfortunately, these thoughts can make us feel more scared, hurt, or disconnected. In order to face our fears, we need a bit of [courage](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/courage-to-face-our-fears/ "Courage to Face our Fears") to practice [self-compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-compassion/ "Self-Compassion"). Compassionate self-talk has been shown to calm the threat-detection system and allow us to be more understanding with ourselves. When we respond to ourselves with kindness and compassion, we calm our body and create space to respond courageously with our best selves. - [Courage](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/courage-to-face-our-fears/ "Courage to Face our Fears"): being scared and practicing tools that will help us face our fears. - [Self-Compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-compassion/ "Self-Compassion"): noticing our painful thoughts and responding to ourselves with care. **Practice** Scary thinking is a habit that many of us go to when we are overwhelmed or stressed. The good news is we can learn and practice new habits that can help us calm down and de-stress. Self-compassion is one response that has been shown to calm those scary thoughts and make a real difference on how we feel inside. For more information on self-compassion, check out our [Self-Compassion Resources](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-compassion/ "Self-Compassion") and also check out the books listed below. [Gilbert, Paul. (2010). Compassion Focused Therapy.](http://www.amazon.com/Compassion-Focused-Therapy-Distinctive-Features/dp/0415448077/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1382975580&sr=8-1&keywords=Paul+Gilbert+compassion+focused+therapy "Compassion Focused Therapy") [Neff, Kristin. (2011). Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind.](http://www.amazon.com/Self-Compassion-Beating-Yourself-Insecurity-Behind/dp/0061733512/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1382975542&sr=8-1&keywords=self+compassion "Self-Compassion") [Tirch, Dennis. (2012). The Compassionate-Mind Guide to Overcoming Anxiety: Using Compassion-Focused Therapy to Calm Worry, Panic, and Fear.](http://www.amazon.com/Compassionate-Mind-Guide-Overcoming-Anxiety-Compassion-Focused/dp/160882036X/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1382975458&sr=8-2&keywords=compassionate+mind+guide+anxiety "Compassionate-Mind Guide to Overcoming Anxiety") [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Compassion, Self-Care Practices, Stress Management, The Human Brain **Tags:** anxiety, compassion, fear, panic, self-care --- ### [Life Lessons from the Play Therapy Room](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/playtherapy/) **Published:** April 16, 2014 **Author:** Lesley Anne Mendonça **Content:** [![play therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/canstockphoto12837359-e1397663335116.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/canstockphoto12837359-e1397663335116.jpg)How often do we, as adults, catch ourselves re-learning something we knew how to do quite naturally as children? Part of the joy in observing a child’s play is seeing our human heart at work in a *simplified* way. As children, we instinctively listen to our heart, follow our intuition, and believe in the magnificent. Over time, many “grown-up’s” somehow forget the basic elements of happy, healthy, and whole-hearted living. Today, there is a wide body of research that supports how the needs of children should be met *differently* than those of adults. However, we must not forget the many ways adults are *similar* to children in our basic emotional needs. Professionals of psychology are trained in how to facilitate healing with children, in a type of therapy known as “Play Therapy”. Play Therapy uses basic principles to create a safe space for children to heal and grow *simply* through their expression of play and creativity. Amazingly, when these simple principles are applied to the human person – regardless of age – we can enrich our relationships and reconnect to our early, in-born wisdom. So let’s take a page from the play therapy room, shall we? 1\. Safety is important. Healing cannot occur in Play Therapy without a feeling of [safety](http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/overcoming-child-abuse/201006/stop-the-world-i-want-feel-safe "Feeling Safe"). If a child feels unsafe for any reason, that child will not be able to move forward effectively with any type of healing or growth. This is because the child will be more focused on protecting himself. How true is this of *all* people, though? We are simply not at our best if we are concerned with our emotional or physical safety. Crucial parts of our [brain ](http://childtrauma.org/ "Child Trauma Academy")go [offline](http://healthland.time.com/2013/04/16/how-terror-hijacks-the-brain/ "Brain Shut-Down") when we are more focused on protecting ourselves, leaving us limited in our functioning. So we can do ourselves a favor by [considering ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-awareness/ "Self-Awareness")if there are certain areas of our lives wherein we struggle with feeling safe! If so, what is the cause, and how might we consider improving the situation? One more thought on safety: If someone in our life turns to us for help, rather than focus on how this will inconvenience us – we can recognize that “*to this person, I am safe.”* For someone to turn to us for help or advice means that there is a foundation of trust in that relationship, and our response is very important. By[ responding well](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-declutter-our-relationships/ "Declutter Our Relationships"), we can bless others with the growing ability to trust. 2\. Self-assertion is a necessary life skill. In the play therapy room, children are taught how to voice their needs and wants. Depending on the child, this skill can present varying levels of difficulty or ease! With a child who has a tendency to assert (and perhaps demand) their needs, the therapist is taught how to respond by reflecting but not always granting the want. The resulting lesson learned is that “It is possible for others to say no to me yet still care for me.” For those children who fear voicing their needs, the therapist must be ready to respond positively for each effort of self-assertion. This, in turn, builds self-efficacy and self-worth within children. The parallel in this lesson is quite obvious: We need to be able to voice our feelings, our wants, and our needs. For those of us who struggle to do so, we may tend to surround ourselves comfortably with people who anticipate our needs and even *rescue* us from the painstaking task of self-assertion. But in the end, does that really help us? And for those of us who err more on the side of demanding our needs be met, are we able to enjoy the peace and freedom that comes in lovingly being refused? Either way, our [voice ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/acceptance-self-care/ "Say What You Feel")always has value and deserves to be heard. 3\. Respect for other’s needs is a necessary life skill. This particular lesson is closely related to safety. In play therapy, the only **real** rules are that each person and toy must stay safe. So, for example, if a therapist is facilitating a group-play-therapy session, children must learn that another’s need to feel safe is *just as important* as their own need to feel safe. In psychology, the term for this is “boundaries”. And as adults, we can attest to the fact that boundaries *never* stop being important! Whether it is a physical boundary or an emotional one, each person is hard-wired with a slightly different set of needs regarding what feels comfortable. And we can run up against boundaries at home, work, in the grocery store, and even on social media! So as we grow, we can each discover our own boundary lines as well as boundaries of those we love. The process of discovery here is one that is best approached with a [kind ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-compassion/ "Self-Compassion")and relaxed curiosity. 4\. *Imagination* and *Creativity* beget *Healing* and *Growth.* Something that comes naturally to children is [creativity](http://www.joyfulheartfoundation.org/reunion/creative-expression "Creative Expression"), [playfulness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-the-importance-of-play/ "playfulness"), and a vivid imagination. However, these things fade in many of us as we grow. The clinical relevance in our playfulness is astounding, as it reveals our needs, our hopes, our desires – and our hurts. Nurturing our inner child, our playful spirit, and our unique imagination (however far-fetched) is ALWAYS important to our overall health. So whether it is getting into finger-painting or scheduling five minutes daily for day-dreaming and play, we can benefit greatly from reengaging with our inner child. After all, that inner child of ours knows **exactly** what we need for fuller living and happiness. 5\. The human being is **supremely** intelligent.[![journey](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/canstockphoto14789145-e1397663589311.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/canstockphoto14789145-e1397663589311.jpg) Many professionals of psychology believe that the human person is naturally on a path to healing, come what may. What this means for us is that we are each on our own path towards health and happiness, just as a blade of grass knows to grow upward. In play therapy, this may be one of the most crucial tenets to follow and believe in. When a child enters the therapy room and guides her own session from start to finish, an absolutely gorgeous process of inner wisdom and self-healing is revealed. The only job of the therapist is to be a source of safety, acceptance, and love. Play Therapy is a remarkable process to witness that serves as a reminder of how we **each** have inborn tools to help us in our journey. We cannot expect our own journey to be the same as our neighbors. Therefore, rather than insist that others do things our way, we can merely be a source of love and encouragement to one another when our journey’s cross paths. One more thing: it is a moment well-spent if we are able to take a minute each day to reflect on the beauty of our human condition. Take a moment to reflect on your own inner beauty, profound wisdom, and delightfully imperfect humanity! **Joyful Note to the Reader**: April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month, and we at Fuller Life Family Therapy want to remind our readers of the importance of taking care of our wee ones. Take a look at the below video explaining the extensive benefits of Play Therapy, and how it works! \[pb\_vidembed title=”Play Therapy Works!” caption=”Learn the basic elements of Play Therapy and its healing effects on our children.” url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=\_4ovwAdxCs0″ type=”yt” w=”480″ h=”385″\] [![Lesley Anne Mendonça](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Lesley-Photo-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Lesley-Photo.jpg) [Lesley Anne Mendonça,](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/lesley-anne-me%E2%80%A6lmft-associate/%20%E2%80%8E "Lesley Mendonça") M.A., LMFT-Associate, LPC-Intern Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, LMFT-S, LPC-S ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6838-e1631304820220.jpg) Lesley Anne Mendonça Lesley is a Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy. She practices individual, marital and family counseling, and has a background in ministry with adolescents. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) Mental Health Play Therapy Relationships Parenting Family Therapy [ ![social network icon](data:image/svg+xml;base64,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) ](https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesleymendonca/) **Categories:** Adolescents & Children, Parenting, Play Therapy, Self-Care Practices, Sticky **Tags:** child therapy, children, Play Therapy, self-assertion, self-care --- ### [Resiliency: Learning to Thrive](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resiliency-learning-to-thrive/) **Published:** May 14, 2014 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** [![Rainbow after storm](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Rainbow-after-storm-199x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Rainbow-after-storm.jpg)Life is full of ups and downs, sunny days and stormy days, as well as strength and struggle. After a traumatic event or extended chronic crisis, we can [experience burnout](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout/ "On the Other Side of Burnout") as our mental, emotional, and physical resources are worn down. Some people have a knack for bouncing back after facing adversity, while others fall apart. **What makes the difference?** Resilience. Siebert reports that, “highly resilient people are flexible, adapt to new circumstances quickly, and thrive in constant change. Most important, they expect to bounce back and feel confident that they will. They have a knack for creating good luck out of circumstances that many others see as bad luck.” ([Siebert, 2005](http://www.amazon.com/The-Resiliency-Advantage-Pressure-Setbacks/dp/1576753298 "The Resiliency Advantage")) Resilience is commonly defined as the ability to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens. The good news is that anyone can add daily practices that will foster an ability to be resilient. We can add habits to our life that allow us to function and even eventually thrive after storms and struggle come our way. One can explore all kinds of practices in an effort to build resilience. If these concept are new, try not to feel overwhelmed. Feel free to start small and build new habits over time. Below we have included four practices known to boost resilience: belief, acts of kindness, social support, and healthy habits. **Belief** One of the common traits of resilient people is that they believe they are resilient. When the human body reacts to stress (racing heart, sweat on brow, clammy hands, etc), it is actually doing a great job gearing up to meet an oncoming challenge. In other words, the body is designed to handle struggle. When we embrace our stress response as healthy, we boost our resilience. Kelly McGonigal’s TED talk addresses the power of our beliefs about stress, and our ability to recover and thrive after stressful events. [Kelly McGonigal: How To Make Stress Your Friend](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcGyVTAoXEU) **Acts of Kindness** When we look for ways to treat others with kindness, we boost our resilience. Acts of kindness promote feelings of happiness and peace. The production of serotonin, a neurotransmitter that helps regulate mood and boosts feelings of well-being, is increased in the brain. Our feelings of happiness and well-being also increase when we witness or receive kindness from others. Acts of kindness also create meaningful bonds with others, and reinforce positive emotions. When we receive kindness from others, we practice gratitude, another resilience boosting trait. Check out [Oprah’s great list of ideas](http://www.oprah.com/spirit/35-Little-Acts-of-Kindness "35 Little Acts of Kindness"). **Social Support** [![Friends sipping coffee](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Friends-sipping-coffee-300x199.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Friends-sipping-coffee.jpg)Meaningful relationships with family and friends increase resilience. In [*Love Sense*](http://www.amazon.com/Love-Sense-Revolutionary-Romantic-Relationships/dp/0316133760 "Love Sense"), Sue Johnson describes research as to how a close attachment bond with one’s spouse actually decreases one’s experience of pain. When we feel close emotionally with our partner, we are better able to handle painful experiences. According to a recent article about the benefit of friendships in adulthood, “Our pain thresholds rise when we’re laughing with friends. Friendship helps ward off cognitive decline and having friends even strengthens the immune system.” [Lissa Rankin](http://lissarankin.com/the-health-benefits-of-finding-your-tribe "The Health Benefits of Finding Your Tribe") adds that people with close social ties increase their lifespan by 2 ½ years, and experience lower rates of cancer. Close relationships with others help us know that we are not alone and give us the added boost we need to sustain us through difficult times. **Healthy Habits** Moderate exercise, [balanced nutrition](http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/diet-recovery "Depression and Diet"), and [regular sleep habits](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-permission-to-sleep/ "Permission to Sleep") also boost resilience. When we take care of our bodies, we build strength and stamina to weather potential storms. We are less fragile and less likely to slip into unhealthy coping patterns that can prove destructive to ourselves as well as those we care about. Exercises like yoga and walking also boost our mood, and are linked to reduced levels of depression and anxiety. Moreover, yoga is a common treatment for survivors of trauma. **Fuller Life’s Resilience Top Nine List** Over the past two years, Fuller Life has written extensively about resilient practices. Check out the links to these topics for more video footage and resources on gratitude, positive emotions, humor and play, healthy habits, and spiritual practices. 1. [![Guitar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Guitar-300x220.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Guitar-e1366657165856.jpg)Belief 2. Acts of Kindness 3. [Gratitude](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/give-thanks-the-most-simple-well-kept-secret-to-a-great-life/ "Give Thanks: The Most Well Kept Secret to a Great Life") 4. Social Support 5. [Positive Emotions](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-power-of-gratitude/ "The Power of Positive Emotions") 6. [Laughter](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practice-laughter-really-is-serious-medicine/ "Laughter Really is Serious Medicine") and [Play](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-the-importance-of-play/ "The Importance of Play") 7. Healthy Habits 8. [Spiritual Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindfulness/ "Mindfulness") 9. [Spend Time in Nature](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-power-of-beautiful-spaces/ "Healing Power of Beautiful Spaces") **Committed to Share Resilience** At Fuller Life we desire to journey alongside others in an effort to build resiliency and courageously move through struggles together. We share healing practices and continue sharing research that informs cultivating resilience. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Cognitive Reframing, Mindfulness Practice, Problem Solving, Self-Awareness, Sticky **Tags:** gratitude, resilience, self-care practices, stress management --- ### [Lost Places](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/depression-grief/) **Published:** June 25, 2012 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** We do not like to be lost. We avoid that scary uncomfortable place at all costs. A little girl is lost in a department store just moments before she hears the reassuring voice of her mother. Her heart is racing, head spinning, disoriented and un-centered on the verge of tears. The body reacts before the mind even has a chance to think the words, “I’m lost.” Adults encounter many lost places beyond the ones that are merely geographical: serious illness, the death of a loved one, losing a job, breaking up with a significant other, a move to a new city. Even after hopeful events such as a graduation or marriage we can experience a loss of the familiar, and find ourselves in uncharted territory. Barbara Brown Taylor writes, “Even though you would rather not think about it, you are exquisitely vulnerable in this moment. You are vulnerable ***to*** this moment. Your carefully maintained safety net has ripped. Your expensive armor has sprung a leak. You are in need of help and this awareness is not a bad thing. There are people all over the world who know how helpless you are feeling right now. If you listen to these people, they may be able to convince you the odds of your survival are very good.” For those of us who have experienced lost places we may see those moments as touchstones in our life. These were periods when we learned and grew, times when we realized we were much stronger than we thought. These were defining moments that created new paths we never would have taken. If you are currently experiencing a time of disorientation, here are some tools that others have found helpful along the journey. - **Faith:** In Brené Brown’s book, *The Gifts of Imperfection*, the fifth guidepost of wholehearted living is having a faith practice. “Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and let go of our fear of uncertainty.” Faith allows us to hope in times of uncertainty and helps us rediscover our center. Being a part of a faith community is also a place where we can feel support and love from others. We are able to share the journey with others who have walked through lost places before us. - **Self-Compassion:** The words that we say to ourselves when we are disoriented can either help or sabotage. Critical self-talk can lead to higher levels of anxiety and depression. Compassionate self-talk helps to calm the fight/flight/freeze response and creates access to more parts of the brain. We expand access resources and opportunities when we respond to ourselves with kindness. - **Support:** When we share our struggles with others who listen with empathy, the process of healing can begin. We realize that we are not alone. The opposite is also true. When we share our struggles and our experience is discounted, we experience shame and rejection. Find someone who listens, is supportive, and limits advice during these difficult times. If you are in the midst of a lost place, we at Fuller Life Family Therapy would like to walk the journey of healing with you. Brown, Brené, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, 2010. Taylor, Barbara Brown. An Altar in the World: A Geography of Faith, 2010. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Counseling, Depression, Relationships, Self-Care Practices, Trauma and Loss **Tags:** compassion, counseling, faith, grief, relationships, self-care --- ### [How to Declutter Our Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-declutter-our-relationships/) **Published:** November 5, 2013 **Author:** Lesley Anne Mendonça **Content:** [![321719_10101430799188830_27455662_o](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/321719_10101430799188830_27455662_o.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/321719_10101430799188830_27455662_o.jpg) It seems we are living in the age of excess. Some call it the Information Age due to the seemingly limitless volume of information we can both learn about others and present about ourselves. There is a need to learn more, know more, talk more, acquire more, *be* more. Recent years seem to be characterized by a constant forward motion, fast-paced and infused with ambition and acquisition. And while we can be grateful for such a burgeoning age of life, our relationships can often get clogged with deprioritized issues that creep in and build silently. Patterns begin to develop in our relationships that leave us confused, and a little hurt. The good news is that there are some simple ways to tidy up those relationships, leaving more room for laughter, enjoyment and pure connection. Though these steps seem simple, they ask for something that is sometimes demanding: change. So if, on your journey to decluttering your relationships, you find that you need to reach for some outside help: keep in mind that Fuller Life Family Therapists are *at the ready* to be your loving guides! **Know yourself** One of the fastest ways to put your therapist out of business is to know yourself, through and through, because that’s half the battle. We are often mysteries unto ourselves, and the act of spending insightful time with ourselves is invaluable. As we build self-understanding, we’re able to claim greater freedom and clarity in our relationships. So start a journal, practice greater self-awareness in your interactions, and make time for self-reflection. In doing so, we can begin to see our strengths, weaknesses, quirks, needs and desires all the more clearly. Knowing ourselves is similar to looking at the room we have decided to tidy: We can’t bring order to the clutter until we first see the room for what it is. **Practice compassion.** When tackling clutter and mess, we can quickly grow hard on ourselves and others. The same can hold true when we begin tackling our relationships. One of the most powerful tools we can have at our disposal when doing this is *compassion*, both for ourselves and our relationships. Pema Chödrön writes about compassion, saying: “Compassion practice is daring. It involves learning to relax and allow ourselves to move gently toward what scares us. The trick to doing this is to stay with emotional distress without tightening into aversion, to let fear soften us rather than harden us into resistance” (Chödrön, 2002). So as you uncover those messier areas of your relationships, remember to show compassion towards yourself and those you love. What we can hold onto is that we are worthy of love and connection, no matter what shade or color we find ourselves living in for the day. **Don’t forget to dream-build!** In any legitimate decluttering task, we have to have a plan for what we desire our space to be like. In the same way, we can get in touch with how we wish our relationships to look. An obvious caution to this tip is to stay grounded and connected to reality, so as to keep our vision within reasonable reach. However, we can enjoy the process of journeying into our very unique vision for ourselves and our relationships. One way to start is to begin making a list of what values you’d like to embody, and experience in your relationships. For example, “Connection, patience, laughter, peace, intimacy.” When you’re ready, return to your lists to build your vision into statements, such as “I want us to be more authentic in what we can share with one another,” or “I want to feel more peace throughout my day, no matter what comes my way”. If there are any tricky problem-areas you want to focus on, reach for resources that can help along the way. For instance, learning to manage [anger](http://www.scoop.it/t/managing-anger-and-stress "anger"), [anxiety ](http://www.scoop.it/t/befriending-anxiety "anxiety")or [depression](http://www.scoop.it/t/dancing-with-depression "depression"). However you proceed, have fun designing your inner rooms and common areas! **Cultivate a belief in change.** Any sizeable mess can cause us to begin to feel as though it will never be fixable. There is great importance in nurturing your ability to believe in change. A great place to start is to have an awareness of the patterns of your relationships, or perhaps of your own patterns in multiple relationships. As you begin to catch yourself in a familiar pattern, make a small change. You can pause your argument to tell a joke, or start a gratitude list when you’re feeling negativity close in on you. If you notice your words often don’t match what you mean, practice speaking more constructively. If you’re struggling to find your voice, show courage in your relationships through apology, assertion of self and speaking about the things that aren’t typically talked about. As you entertain a spirit of hopefulness for change, you will find yourself able to take incremental steps towards your goals. **Learn to hear your emotions.** American folk singer Jack Johnson sings, “You don’t always have to hold your head higher than your heart.” One of the most wonderful tools we have to use is our emotions. In the same way our stomach pains can tell us we’re hungry, our feelings can alert us when we’re in need of a change. Our anger can serve as a reminder that we’re not happy with how things are going. Guilt can let us know when we’re capable of more love and compassion. And pain can let us know our needs more clearly. So pay attention to your feelings, and grow your insight. If you’re brand new at this, perhaps you can start by taking an extra beat to notice and name your feelings the next time something comes up. As we apply these guidelines, we can bring our relationships into ones of trust, patience, love and temperance. One last thing: Don’t forget to leave room for imperfection! Imperfection may well be the sweetest part of life, because it’s where our uniqueness can shine through. So where it can be endearing, give yourself permission to enjoy a margin for a little clutter. Chödrön, P. (2002). *The places that scare you: A guide to fearlessness in difficult times.* Boston, MA: Shambhala. [![Lesley Anne Mendonça](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Lesley-Photo-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Lesley-Photo.jpg)[Lesley Anne Mendonça,](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/lesley-anne-me…lmft-associate/ ‎ "Lesley Mendonça") M.A., LMFT-Associate, LPC-Intern Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, LMFT-S, LPC-S ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6838-e1631304820220.jpg) Lesley Anne Mendonça Lesley is a Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy. She practices individual, marital and family counseling, and has a background in ministry with adolescents. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) Mental Health Play Therapy Relationships Parenting Family Therapy [ ![social network icon](data:image/svg+xml;base64,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) ](https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesleymendonca/) **Categories:** Compassion, Emotions and Relationships, Mental Health, Relationships, Self-Care Practices **Tags:** Communication, compassion, counseling, emotions and relationships, Empathy --- ### [The Weather in Houston is _____: How the Stories We Tell Shape Perception](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-stories/) **Published:** June 7, 2012 **Author:** Scott Rampy **Content:** The weather in Houston is \_\_\_\_\_\_. You’ve heard it from out-of-towners. “How do you live there! It’s so hot…and the humidity!” I heard it too. Having lived in Virginia, Arkansas, Ohio, and Abilene, Texas I didn’t quite know what I was in for when my wife and I moved here. So I went into it conscientiously taking an attitude of “not knowing.” To my surprise, I found I *love* Houston’s weather! The summers are hot but you cope by staying indoors. The other eight months of the year are great! There are more than enough of those balmy mid-70 degree mornings and evenings. But when I try to explain it to those from elsewhere, they just can’t understand. To them “Houston” means hot, humid, and just plain miserable. The stories we tell shape what we see and what we don’t see. Stories have the power to make us hyper-focus on those parts that fit the storyline and blind to those that aren’t part of the script. We all tell stories about ourselves and those around us. Sometimes we make them up. Oftentimes others hand us scripts and we stick to their lines. “My \_\_\_\_ told me I would never amount to anything.” Stories may take the form of labels: “I am a \_\_\_\_\_.” What stories do you tell about yourself? Where did you learn to tell that story about yourself/your spouse? Is this story always true? Are there times when it is not? More often, stories are much more subtle than the example lines above. What we observe as we grow up shapes our idea of what to expect as adults. Marriages are… Conflict is resolved through… People can (always/never) be trusted… I (can/can’t) be depended on… Disappointment is best handled by… What often goes unnoticed is that no story we tell is *always* true. Most often we tell negative stories about ourselves, blind to the positive exceptions. When we do this we also become blind to solutions. The shame that accompanies these negative stories tends to cement them in place. Therapy can be beneficial as it helps us become aware of the stories we tell and highlights alternative stories that are already there, unnoticed. The therapists at Fuller Life help clients explore their stories in an environment free of judgment, endeavoring to reduce the problem-cementing effect of shame. We avoid imposing our story about solution and help the client discover their own. What stories have you heard about therapy or who goes to therapy? We hope you will give us the opportunity to co-author a new story of healing. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Scott-Rampy-150x150.jpg "Scott Rampy")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Scott-Rampy.jpg)[Scott Rampy, M.MFT, LMFTA](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/scott-rampy/) Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6829-e1631305127874.jpg) Scott Rampy [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) Mental Health Family Therapy Relationships Divorce, Separation, Blended Families **Categories:** Anxiety & Panic, Cognitive Reframing, Communication, Relationships, Self-Care Practices **Tags:** anxiety, cognitive reframing, depression, relationships, self-care --- ### [Get Better at Sex and Get Better at Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/get-better-sex-get-better-life/) **Published:** January 7, 2017 **Author:** Manet Castaneda **Content:** Our sexuality is something innate to all of us. It can develop in complexity and variety as we mature. As we age, we engage in different types of relationships, and if we are lucky, we learn new things, and gain greater insight into who we are and what we like sexually. A lot of us make the mistake of thinking that being in a committed relationship means we stop growing sexually because we are limited to one partner. However, the opposite can be true. Being in a committed relationship can be very challenging and can push us towards growth in various ways. These three tips can challenge you to grow and develop your own sexuality, while at the same time help bring novelty to your sexual relationship. **Be Daring** A vast majority of us can perhaps admit to having secret sexual desires that we would not dare share with the people we are in relationships, perhaps out of fear of judgment or our own insecurities. Whatever the case may be, we may not realize that when we hide our desires and our true colors out of insecurities and fears, we are limiting ourselves in sex lives and the sex life of our partners. When you dare to try something new like using a sex toy for the first time or simply being able to speak your mind about how you like to have sex, you are challenging yourself and at the same time showing your partner a more daring side of you. It requires strength and maturity to show your partner who you are and what you are about between the sheets. Daring to be bold in the bedroom can enhance maturity and confidence, and at the same time turn up the heat in your relationship. The next time you have sex, dare to ask for a new position you’ve been thinking about, or buy a new sex toy you may want to play with. For more tips on how to be more daring and courageous in your sex life check out this [talk](http://simplemarriage.net/podcast/sexual-courage/) with host Dr. Cory Allan. **Incorporate Playfulness** As mentioned previously, many of us have secret fantasies that we wish our partner would play out with us, but are afraid of what the other will think or we doubt our own sexuality and sensuality. Dare to add some novelty and spice in your relationship by perhaps taking a few hours on a weekend to reenact a secret wish that you or your partner may have. This may look like dressing up in sensual clothing, trying role play or could even being risky by using accessories like fuzzy handcuffs. Whatever tickles your fancy, challenge yourself by engaging with your partner in a playful manner, and remember it’s okay if your partner doesn’t want to play at that time, there is merit in taking risks. For creative role playing ideas and more visit [Cosmopolitan](http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a5143/tips-on-role-playing-first-time/). **Increase Intimacy** Sometimes sex in committed relationships can lack a sense of connectedness and intimacy. The reasons for this can vary, however, increasing intimacy through sex in relationships can bring changes and move people towards more meaningful and deeper ways of connecting. One “simple” yet challenging way of connecting with one’s partner is through eyes open sex as described. Sex is something that people engage in on a regular basis, but how many of those people are actually courageous enough to look into their partner’s eyes during intercourse? According to Dr. Schnarch’s book [Passionate Marriage](http://passionatemarriage.com/), only about 30% of couples have their eyes open during sex. It can take courage and strength to try something new in the bedroom. Change starts with one person, so if your partner does not want to participate in eyes open sex, keep in mind that you can still keep your eyes open and see what you experience. For a more detailed description of eyes open sex, visit Dr. Schnarch and Dr. Morehouse’s [website](http://crucibletherapy.com/six-tips-creating-more-passionate-relationship). Sex is one of the most growth-promoting and enjoyable aspects of human nature, dare to try any one of these ideas to see how you and your partner can and move towards personal growth all the while adding more novelty in your sex life. For more ideas and resources for sexuality and relationships visit Dr. Amy Fuller’s [website](http://amyfullerphd.com/blog/sex-therapy/). **Resources** Dr. Cory Allan’s page: Dr. David Schnarch and Dr. Ruth Morehouse’s pages: [http://passionatemarriage.com](http://passionatemarriage.com/) Roleplay ideas: Other sex blog: ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Manet-Castaneda-Fuller-Life-Headshot-scaled-e1631305448934.jpg) Manet Castaneda [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) Mental Health Sex Therapy Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Couples, Emotions and Relationships, Intimacy & Sex Therapy, Marriage, Relationships **Tags:** couples, marriage, relationships, sex --- ### [How Habits Can Make or Break Your Productivity](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4456-2/) **Published:** February 4, 2016 **Author:** Angela Blocker **Content:** ## Why Can’t I Just Do It? We make lists. We set goals. We plan. We go to pretty amazing lengths to avoid procrastination. At some point, we may become so accustomed to putting things off we may give up planning for anything and just wait until last minute. Calling a friend, going for a run, and doing laundry before we are completely out of socks, are things we know we need to do. WHAT STOPS US? #### Blame Your Brain One factor contributing to procrastination has to do with the natural habit-forming process in the human brain. [Dr. Nora Volkow](http://www.drugabuse.gov/about-nida/directors-page), Director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse, and expert on the brain’s pleasure-reward systems, explains that creating good habits means fighting against instant gratification. The anxiety, panic, frustration, and other feelings associated with the time it takes to finish something, can keep us from beginning or continuing, things we need to do. These feelings may be temporarily relieved by doing something pleasurable. Dopamine is the feel-good chemical in your brain. It helps you feel at ease. That is why looking at silly cat videos on YouTube or checking Facebook can be so attractive when facing a deadline. Why is it sometimes difficult to stop checking and rechecking social media? Habit. The human brain creates patterns for efficiency sake. Learning a new skill or habit requires a considerable amount of energy and brain power because the brain is forming new neurological pathways and circuits previously nonexistent. Once a skill or habit is learned, the brain sends signals through these pathways. The more the skill or habit is practiced the quicker and more efficient the brain becomes at sending the signals. Check out this [video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEwg8TeipfQ) to understand how quickly this process happens. When working on a long project or assignment, if your brain has become accustomed to the repeated momentary reward of dopamine coming from Facebook, a snack, or even using the bathroom, it will be more difficult to sit through three hours of cranking that assignment out. So what can you do? #### Shape Your Brain The good news is the opposite is also true. The more practice you get focusing on a task all the way through to completion, the more your brain will become accustomed to this mindset. In other words, once a pattern in established it can also be changed. Motivation enthusiast and writer for the NBC news, Lauren Neergard, offers some [suggestions](http://www.nbcnews.com/id/40893205/ns/health-behavior/t/cant-kick-bad-habits-blame-brain/#.VrJdGvnF9yR) to help get you started forming better habits and skills: 1. **Repetition**. Do it again and again. 2. **Reward yourself.** If you are working on a long term assignment or exercise for a week, treat yourself! It will encourage you to repeat your hard work. 3. **Monitor your stress level.** Resist the urge to self-medicate or soothe negative feelings through quick fixes when bad things happen throughout the day. Instead of grabbing a doughnut after an argument with your spouse, be mindful of your discomfort and choose a banana or apple – or even deep breathing – instead. Our brains have incredible capabilities. The same process used to create bad habits in our brain can be used to start and maintain amazing and productive habits. Looking to make a change? Take a few minutes and watch [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nBwfZZvjKo) video on breaking bad habits. For more information on the power of dopamine, listen to Dr. Volkow discuss the role of dopamine the habit forming process of the brain. Good Luck! [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Angela-Blocker-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Contributed by [Angela Blocker , M.A, LMFT Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Clinical Supervision by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) References - Cimons, M. (2013). Exploring the Brain’s Relationship to Habits. Retrieved January 22, 2016, from http://www.nsf.gov/discoveries/disc\_summ.jsp?cntn\_id=126567 - Hall, A. (2014). The Science Behind Our Urge To Procrastinate. Retrieved January 22, 2016, from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/15/science-of-procrastination\_n\_5585440.html - Neergard, L. (2011). Can’t kick bad habits? Blame the brain. Retrieved January 22, 2016, from http://www.nbcnews.com/id/40893205/ns/health-behavior/t/cant-kick-bad-habits-blame-brain/#.VqJbM\_krLIU - Wise, R. A. (2004). Dopamine, learning and motivation. Nature reviews neuroscience, 5(6), 483-494. ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Angela-Blocker-LMFT-e1631303162413.png) Angela Blocker [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) Mental Health Play Therapy Parenting Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Addiction & Recovery, Mindfulness Practice, Problem Solving, Self-Awareness, The Human Brain **Tags:** habits, motivation, procrastination, productivity, The Human Brain --- ### [Celebrate Your Efforts and Increase Self-Control](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/celebrate-and-increase-self-control/) **Published:** March 24, 2015 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** > “Each day you work toward your big goal should be considered a success! You’re doing something now that directly affects your success later.” Brad Hussey Wouldn’t it be great to build up our self-control “muscles?” More “staying power” could make a big difference in so many areas. According to a recent compilation of lab experiments on self-control, four emotional characteristics were shown to boost our self-control ([Desteno, 2014](//www.psmag.com/health-and-behavior/feeling-control-america-can-finally-learn-deal-impulses-self-regulation-89456 "America Can Finally Learn to Deal with its Impulses")). - [Gratitude](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/happy-thanksgiving-gratitude-builds-self-control/) - [Compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-control-compassion-works/) - [Guilt](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-control-what-do-i-do-with-guilt/ "What do I do with guilt?") - Authentic pride Over the past few weeks, Fuller Life’s blog has explored how to develop the characteristics of [gratitude](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/happy-thanksgiving-gratitude-builds-self-control/), [compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-control-compassion-works/), and [guilt](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-control-what-do-i-do-with-guilt/ "What do I do with guilt?"). Today’s post will focus on cultivating authentic pride. **Always One More Thing** In a recent [TED Talk, Shawn Achor](http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work?language=en "The Happiness Advantage") notes that our society has somehow “pushed happiness over the cognitive horizon.” We tell ourselves all sorts of things: *I will be happy when I achieve \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_. But, the minute I achieve \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_, I still have one more thing.* *I just earned my degree, but now I need to find a job.* *We just got married, but now we need to buy a home.* Happiness always seems to be beyond the next item on the to-do list. And, the to-do list just keeps getting longer. We get to the end of our day and notice we did not accomplish everything we had set out to do. We tend to focus on what is lacking, which in turn builds frustration. The next day we wake up feeling more behind than the day before. > In her book [*Daring Greatly*, Brené Brown](http://www.amazon.com/Daring-Greatly-Courage-Vulnerable-Transforms/dp/1592407331 "Daring Greatly") says, “We start off the morning thinking we didn’t get enough sleep, go through the day thinking we don’t have enough time, and fall asleep thinking we failed to accomplish enough tasks. Whatever we have, do, or get, it’s never enough.” Happiness eventually feels unattainable, especially when we run into obstacles along the way. Over time, we may lose our motivation to keep trying to find happiness. **Authentic Pride** What if we could bring happiness back to this side of the equation? Could we celebrate the small steps that move us toward our bigger goals? According to the field of positive psychology, we can cultivate authentic pride to help us reach our goals. “Authentic pride derives from specific accomplishments or goal attainments, and is often focused on the efforts made towards that goal” (Tracy & Robins, 2004, 2007a). > Triathlon coach Barrie Shepley points out that anything can happen on race day. So you should reward all the hard work you put into getting to the race! When we begin to notice the little successes at the end of each day, we begin to experience the positive emotion that comes with affirming that our efforts mean something. Every little thing I accomplish toward my goal matters. When we celebrate our efforts, we cultivate positive emotion. This is motivating! “Authentic pride is fueled by the emotional rush of accomplishment, confidence, and success, and is associated with pro-social and achievement-oriented behaviors, extraversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, satisfying interpersonal relationships, and positive mental health” (Kaufman, 2012). **Celebrate Together** [![Couple smiling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Couple-smiling-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Couple-smiling.jpg)Another aspect of authentic pride is celebrating the successes of those around us. Martin Seligman calls this “active, constructive responding.” When our partner or friend comes to us to share a success, we celebrate with them. For instance, “This is great! I am so proud of you. I know how important this was to you! Please relive the event with me now. Where were you? What did you say? How did you react? We should go out and celebrate.” Seligman includes non-verbal responses that build positive emotions and our bond with others, “Maintaining eye contact, displays of positive emotion, such as genuine smiling, touching, and laughing” (Seligman, 2011). When we celebrate together, we increase positive feelings and strengthen the health of our relationships. **Tools** - Some of us find it challenging to celebrate and enjoy our efforts toward success. However, negative habits of self-criticism and self-denigration wear away at our perseverance and motivation. Kristen Neff offers a [helpful exercise](//self-compassion.org/exercise-1-treat-friend/) "Treat Yourself Like You Would Treat a Friend") that teaches us how to respond to ourselves in a more compassionate way. - Make a gratitude list at the end of each day to actively notice the abundance that is already in your life. - Get an accountability partner to share hopes and goals. Make a list of ideas to reward the accomplishments you achieve as you work toward your goals. - Get real about time. We often underestimate the time it takes to do things, and we overschedule ourselves. We end up setting ourselves up to feel disappointed that we did not accomplish more. Monica Ricci has helpful tips on creating a more realistic awareness of time and how to budget our tasks accordingly. Carver, C. S., & Johnson, S. L. (2010). Authentic and Hubristic Pride: Differential Relations to Aspects of Goal Regulation, Affect, and Self-Control. *Journal of Research in Personality*, *44*(6), 698–703. Desteno, D. (2014). A Feeling of Control: How American Can Finally Learn to Deal with It’s Impulses. Pacific Standard. Kaufman, B.F. (2012). Pride and Creativity. The Creativity Post. [http://www.creativitypost.com/psychology/pride\_and\_creativity](http://www.creativitypost.com/psychology/pride_and_creativity) Seligman, M. (2011). Flourish. A visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being. Tracy JL, Robins RW. (2007a). Emerging insights into the nature and function of pride. Current Directions in Psychological Science. 16:147–150. Williams, L. A. & DeSteno, David. (Jun. 2008). Pride and perseverance: The motivational role of pride. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol 94(6), 1007-1017. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Relationships, Self-Care Practices, Self-Esteem, Self-Validation (affirmations), Stress Management **Tags:** relationships, self-care practices, self-esteem, SELF-VALIDATION (AFFIRMATIONS), stress management --- ### [Creating Happiness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/creating-happiness/) **Published:** December 11, 2012 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** Our culture chases after many things in an effort to fulfill our desire for happiness. We spend a considerable amount of our time following the dictates of what others say will make us happy. Society promises better friends if we buy a new \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_, more beautiful body or hair if we buy the latest \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_, and contentment once we reach a certain amount of income so that we can buy the latest and newest \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_. We continue to buy into the promise that more is better. When will the treadmill stop? In her book, *Daring Greatly*, Brené Brown discusses our “culture of scarcity” and the endless search for more. > “Scarcity is the ‘never enough’ problem… Scarcity thrives in a culture where everyone is hyperaware of lack. Everything from safety and love to money and resources feels restricted or lacking. We spend inordinate amounts of time calculating how much we want, and don’t have, and how much everyone else has, needs, and wants.” The documentary, *Happy*, discusses three things our society says will bring happiness: image, status, and money. We sometimes mindlessly accept these values as we see “everyone else” around us striving to get more. But in reality, they do little to increase our level of happiness. As a matter of fact, there is no real difference in happiness levels between the annual incomes of $50,000 and $50,000,000. ([Roko, 2011](http://www.amazon.com/Happy/dp/B007BECIVC/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1355244429&sr=1-1&keywords=happy+documentary "Happy")) > “Over time, rates of depression and anxiety have increased in young people, and one explanation for this shift seems to be that we are neglecting time to relax and engage in meaningful relationships with others in favor of pursuing status and wealth… It’s easy to get caught up in chasing after more money, status, and material possessions, and there are a myriad of cultural messages that this is the ways to be happy – what Australian epidemiologist Richard Eckersley calls ‘cultural fraud.’” ([Kolts, 2012](http://www.amazon.com/Compassionate-Mind-Guide-Managing-Anger-Compassion-Focused/dp/1608820378/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1355244388&sr=8-1&keywords=compassionate+mind+guide+to+anger "Anger")) **What can we do to increase our level of happiness?** The good news is there is an abundance of research available that show ways to increase levels happiness and contentment. Here are some suggestions according to *Happy* and several other positive psychology resources: 1\. Flow: According to the documentary, *Happy*, flow is important to one’s level of happiness. “Flow is the mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity. In essence, flow is characterized by complete absorption in what one does.” ([Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_(psychology) "Flow")) One may lose track of time as they are completely focused on an activity. Flow can be experienced in one’s work, hobbies, exercise, etc. 2\. Cultivating meaningful relationships. According to the documentary, *This Emotional Life,* relationships are as essential to one’s well-being as food. ([Gilbert, 2010](http://www.amazon.com/Family-Friends-Lovers/dp/B003E3HPR6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1355244320&sr=8-1&keywords=this+emotional+life "This Emotional Life")) 3\. Gratitude. According to Brené Brown, the antidote to a “culture of scarcity” or “never enough” is the practice of gratitude; awareness of what one already has. According to research in the field of positive psychology, the practice of gratitude three times a day for twenty-one days leads to increased levels of contentment and happiness. ([Achor, 2011](http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work.html "Shawn Achor TED")) 4\. Mindfulness. When we are mindful, we practice being present in the moment with ourselves and others. Even when the world rushes mindlessly around us, we can learn to pause, breathe, and choose how we want to respond. Here is one example of a myriad of simple mindfulness practices one can include in everyday life: > Breathing in, I calm my body. > > Breathing out, I smile. > > Dwelling in the present moment, > > I know this is a wonderful moment. Thich Nhat Hanh At Fuller Life we desire to walk alongside your search for more satisfaction and happiness in your life and relationships. If you or someone you know could benefit from this blog, please pass it on. We would be honored to share this journey with you. [Achor, Shawn. (2011). TED: *The Happy Secret to Better Work*.](http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work.html "Shawn Achor TED") [Brown, Brené. (2012). *Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead.* ](http://www.brenebrown.com/books/2012/5/15/daring-greatly.html "Daring Greatly") [Gilbert, Daniel (2010). *This Emotional Life* (Educational Miniseries). ](http://www.amazon.com/Family-Friends-Lovers/dp/B003E3HPR6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1355244320&sr=8-1&keywords=this+emotional+life "This Emotional Life") [Kolts, Russell. (2012). *The Compassionate-Mind Guide to Managing Your Anger*.](http://www.amazon.com/Compassionate-Mind-Guide-Managing-Anger-Compassion-Focused/dp/1608820378/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1355244388&sr=8-1&keywords=compassionate+mind+guide+to+anger "Anger") [Roko, Belic (2011). *Happy* (documentary).](http://www.amazon.com/Happy/dp/B007BECIVC/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1355244429&sr=1-1&keywords=happy+documentary "Happy") [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Anxiety & Panic, Depression, Emotions and Relationships, Self-Care Practices, Stress Management **Tags:** anxiety, gratitude, mindfulness, self-care, stress management --- ### [Getting Together 5: Communicating as Equals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/communicating-as-equals/) **Published:** December 5, 2012 **Author:** Scott Rampy **Content:** **Getting Together, Part 5 – Communicating as Equals** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Getting-Together-5-Photo-300x200.jpg "Communication, couples")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Getting-Together-5-Photo.jpg)Couples often struggle with communication. The inability to communicate leads to all sorts of misunderstandings, failures to resolve problems, and cycles that build up to create significant dissatisfaction with the relationship. Fisher and Brown, of the Harvard Negotiation Project, present some fundamental elements of communicating and problem solving in their book [*Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate*.](http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Together-Building-Relationships-Negotiate/dp/0140126384/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1354723282&sr=8-1&keywords=getting+together "Communication") This book is the sequel to the bestseller *Getting to Yes.* Although not writing from a therapy background, their work on communication is consistent with what we share with our clients at Fuller Life. This post is the fifth in our series on [*Getting Together*](http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Together-Building-Relationships-Negotiate/dp/0140126384/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1354723282&sr=8-1&keywords=getting+together "Communication"). The first post introduced six elements of a good working relationship. The overriding theme in each element is: “Do only those things that are both good for the relationship and good for us, whether or not they reciprocate” (38). These six elements are based on **a commitment to be unconditionally constructive.** Now we will look a bit closer at the final two ingredients. **5. Persuasion, Not Coercion: Negotiate Side by Side** [Fisher and Brown](http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Together-Building-Relationships-Negotiate/dp/0140126384/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1354723282&sr=8-1&keywords=getting+together "Communication, Problem solving, conflict resolution") introduce this section with Aesop’s fable of the wind and the sun. The sun challenged the wind to a contest to see which could get a man to take off his coat. The wind tried to blow the man’s coat off with a strong gust of wind – but the man only drew his coat tighter. The sun beamed down warmly. As the man grew warm himself, he removed his coat and enjoyed the sunshine. A common tendency is to try to force our way into winning an argument. The way we negotiate can seriously damage a relationship. When we use coercive tactics, emotions get heightened and reason gets diminished. It often becomes impossible to come to mutual understanding. We tend to find the other person less trustworthy and may feel that our values and desires have been rejected or ignored. Instead of attacking the problem together, side by side, coercion attacks the person. We commit early to our own viewpoint rather than staying open to the other’s perspective. When one person has to win, the other ultimately loses. Exploring the interests of each person is a good way of opening up options for compromise. To do this we have to get out of either/or mode and look for multiple workable options. **6. Acceptance: Deal seriously with those with whom we differ** We may fall into the trap of rejecting rather than accepting the other as an equally valid part of the problem-solving effort. We reject the other physically by leaving the room, slamming a door, or hanging up the phone. We can reject another psychologically by blaming, belittling, or rejecting the other’s viewpoint as worthy. These errors make it much more difficult to communicate effectively, understand each other’s view, foster trust, or persuade. Instead, [Fisher and Brown](http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Together-Building-Relationships-Negotiate/dp/0140126384/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1354723282&sr=8-1&keywords=getting+together "Communication, problem solving, conflict resolution") suggest that we **accept unconditionally**. We may not accept the other’s values, perceptions, or conduct, but we treat the other person with respect. They feel that they are being treated as an equal. We behave as though we genuinely care about the other person, above and beyond the conflict and our opinion. Putting all of these communication principles into practice is much easier said than done. We often have some unlearning to do. It takes practice to break out of cycles of negative interaction. If your relationship (or a friend’s) could benefit from relearning how to communicate through conflict in a way that enhances the relationship, we at Fuller Life are happy to walk through that process with you. The form on the front page of the site is a great way to get in touch with us. [Fisher, Roger, and Scott Brown. *Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate*. New York: Penguin Books, 1988.](http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Together-Building-Relationships-Negotiate/dp/0140126384/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1354723282&sr=8-1&keywords=getting+together "Communication, Conflict Resolution, Problem solving") [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Scott-Rampy-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Scott-Rampy.jpg)[Scott Rampy, M.MFT, LMFTA](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/scott-rampy/) Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6829-e1631305127874.jpg) Scott Rampy [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) Mental Health Family Therapy Relationships Divorce, Separation, Blended Families **Categories:** Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Emotions and Relationships, Relationships, Social Skills **Tags:** acceptance, Communication, compassion, Empathy, relationships --- ### [Self-Control: Compassion Works](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-control-compassion-works/) **Published:** January 27, 2015 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** Many create New Year’s resolutions in hopes of a healthier lifestyle. But experience of past resolutions often reminds us that it can be daunting to keep up with new goals. As the year gets hectic, one’s ability to stick with resolutions may wane. How can we build staying power? One way is to develop our capacity for self-control. **Self-Control** Is it possible to acquire more self-control? According to a recent review of research on the subject, the practice of four emotional characteristics can enhance our self-control (Desteno, 2014): - [Gratitude](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/happy-thanksgiving-gratitude-builds-self-control/ "Gratitude Builds Self-Control") - [Compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-compassion/ "Self-Compassion") - [Authentic pride](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/celebrate-your-efforts-and-increase-self-control/ "Celebrate Your Efforts and Increase Self-Control") - [Guilt](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-control-what-do-i-do-with-guilt/ "Self-Control: What do I do with guilt?") Over the next few weeks Fuller Life will continue to explore these characteristics. Our last post focused on [gratitude](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/happy-thanksgiving-gratitude-builds-self-control/ "Gratitude") and this one is focused on compassion. **Compassion and Self-Compassion** Compassion is an emotion that involves noticing and feeling moved to care. The first part is to notice and see another person in the midst of their suffering, frustration, disappointment, grief or hurt. When we allow ourselves to turn toward and notice another person, we are naturally moved to respond to a fellow human being with care and concern. Self-compassion is the same thing. The only difference is allowing ourselves to see our own struggle, and respond to ourselves with care. When we learn to respond to ourselves with kindness and compassion, we calm the body and create space to respond courageously with our best selves. This is not the same as self-pity. > “Self-compassion isn’t poor me. Self-compassion is: ‘It’s hard for all of us… the human experience is hard for me, for you, this is the way life is.’ It’s a much more connected way of relating to yourself. And this is why mindfulness is so important. When we are mindful of our suffering, we see it as it is, we don’t ignore it, but we also don’t over exaggerate.” [Kristin Neff](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFhcNPjIMjc) "Overcoming Objections to Self-Compassion") **How Can We Build Compassion For Others?** One way we can build compassion for others is to practice on ourselves. We can be our worst critic and beat up on ourselves when we fall short on hopes and goals. When we talk to ourselves with criticism and self-judgment, we fuel anger and anxiety. We can even increase the odds that we will get frustrated and want to quit. Kristin Neff has found that “people who can first give themselves emotional support and validation will be in a better position to be giving, accepting and generous to their partners.” She also found that “people who nurture self-compassion have better overall psychological and emotional health, experience less anxiety and depression, and are more motivated to achieve their goals.” (Randall, 2013) Here are some tools to get started: - A quiz to assess your current level of self-compassion. - A self-compassion exercise to get a small hint of what this looks like in practice: Self-Compassion Exercise - Compassion Meditations designed to increase experience of compassion for self and others. **Time to Slow Down** In a recent [TED](http://www.ted.com/talks/daniel_goleman_on_compassion?language=en "Goleman on Compassion") talk, [Daniel Goleman](http://www.ted.com/talks/daniel_goleman_on_compassion?language=en "Goleman on Compassion") explored the things that keep us from compassion. One of the main obstacles is being in a hurry. > “*A group of divinity students at the Princeton Theological Seminary were told that they were going to give a practice sermon and they were each given a sermon topic. Half of those students were given, as a topic, the parable of the Good Samaritan: the man who stopped to help the stranger in need by the side of the road. Half were given random Bible topics. Then one by one, they were told they had to go to another building and give their sermon. As they went from the first building to the second, each of them passed a man who was bent over and moaning, clearly in need. The question is: Did they stop to help? The more interesting question is: Did it matter they were contemplating the parable of the Good Samaritan? Answer: No, not at all. What turned out to determine whether someone would stop and help a stranger in need was how much of a hurry they thought they were in. And this is, I think, the predicament of our lives: that we don’t take every opportunity to help because our focus is in the wrong direction*.” (Goleman, 2007) The conclusion of the experiment was that the student’s compassion was not significantly influenced by studying the passage on compassion, but more by the student’s belief that they were in too much of a hurry. When we get overwhelmed or in a rush, this impacts our ability to be present and compassionate with ourselves, and others we care about. One way to build compassion is to slow down the pace of life. [Leo Babauta has some great ideas](http://zenhabits.net/the-10-essential-rules-for-slowing-down-and-enjoying-life-more/ "Slowing Down") for how to slow things down. Over the next few weeks, we will continue to explore characteristics that develop our capacity for self-control such as authentic pride, and guilt. Fuller Life Family Therapy is here to support and encourage those on their journey toward a fuller life. **More Resources on Building Compassion** [http://www.mindfulselfcompassion.org/meditations\_downloads.php](http://www.mindfulselfcompassion.org/meditations_downloads.php) Desteno, D. (2014) A Feeling of Control: How America Can Finally Learn to Deal With Its Impulses. Pacific Standard, The Science of Society. (http://www.psmag.com/navigation/health-and-behavior/feeling-control-america-can-finally-learn-deal-impulses-self-regulation-89456/) Goleman, D. (2007). TED. (http://www.ted.com/talks/daniel\_goleman\_on\_compassion?language=en) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Compassion, Emotional Intelligence, Self-Care Practices, Sticky **Tags:** compassion, gratitude, self-care practices --- ### [Reliability, Trust, and Forgiveness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/reliability-trust-and-forgiveness/) **Published:** November 20, 2012 **Author:** Scott Rampy **Content:** Part 4 – Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Couples-Counseling-199x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Couples-Counseling.jpg)Couples often struggle with communication. The inability to communicate leads to all sorts of misunderstandings, failures to resolve problems and cycles that build up to create significant dissatisfaction with the relationship. Fisher and Brown, of the Harvard Negotiation Project present some fundamental elements of communicating and problem solving in their book [*Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate*](http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Together-Building-Relationships-Negotiate/dp/0140126384/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1353424523&sr=8-1&keywords=Getting+Together%3A+Building+Relationships+as+We+Negotiate "Reliability, Trust, and Forgiveness"). This book is the sequel to the bestseller *Getting to Yes.* Although not writing from a therapy background, their work on communication is consistent with what we share with our clients at Fuller Life. This post is the fourth in our series on *Getting Together*. The first post introduced six elements of a good working relationship. The overriding theme in each element is: “Do only those things that are both good for the relationship and good for us, whether or not they reciprocate” (38). These six elements are based on **a commitment to be unconditionally constructive.** Now we will look a bit closer at the fourth of the six. **Reliability: Be wholly trustworthy, but not wholly trusting.** In every relationship, trust and suspicion exist on a continuum. Reliability is a determining factor regarding where our relationship is on a continuum. If there is already an established history of following through with one’s commitments, each partner can feel more secure and confident about further commitments. Moreover, we all make mistakes. A history of reliability can offer an opportunity to be more understanding and gracious when either partner makes a mistake. > “A practical goal for a working relationship, and one that each partner can pursue unconditionally, is thus: > > 1. **a high degree of reliability in the behavior of each, and** > 2. **an accurate assessment by each of the risks of relying on the other.”** ****Dealing with our own reliability**** Our relationship partner may have good reason to mistrust us if our behavior is inconsistent, our communication is careless, we take our promises lightly, and our behavior is deceptive or dishonest. We can only control our own behavior so the burden of improving trust starts with us. Improving our behavior is the first place to start (re)building trust. Predictability, clarity, taking promises seriously, and honesty are all within our power and control. **Dealing with our partner’s reliability** Notice that even as we shift attention to our partner’s reliability, the focus continues to stay on our own conduct. Fisher and Brown ask, “Do we encourage their unreliable conduct? Do we overload trust? Do we trust too little? Do we criticize no matter what they do?” We can help our partner be more reliable as we take steps to reduce risk rather than overload trust. We can begin to trust according to what is deserved, be precise in our praise and criticism, and view breakdowns as joint problems. In our assessment of our partner’s conduct, we need be self-critical. Are we evaluating them wrongly? Misperceiving their behavior? Confusing different kinds of unpredictability? Often when couples discuss possible solutions to failures in trust the word “forgiveness” comes up. Though Fisher and Brown do not address the topic, based on the above, forgiveness does not mean, “I forgive you, so now everything can go back to the way it was before.” Perhaps forgiveness means acknowledging what has happened, the hurt it has caused, and then freeing the other person from ill will and continued indebtedness. It does not mean setting up the other person to commit the same wrong over and over again. Forgiveness is properly rooted in the perspective “Love unconditionally; trust conditionally.” If there is a deficit of trust and reliability in your relationship that is preventing you from experiencing the quality relationship you desire, we want to walk alongside the process of rebuilding. If you have been hurt in the past and struggle with how to move forward, please know that Fuller Life Family Therapy is available and a safe place to work together. [Fisher, Roger, and Scott Brown. *Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate*. New York: Penguin Books, 1988.](http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Together-Building-Relationships-Negotiate/dp/0140126384/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1353424523&sr=8-1&keywords=Getting+Together%3A+Building+Relationships+as+We+Negotiate "Reliability, Trust, and Forgiveness") [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Scott-Rampy-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Scott-Rampy.jpg)[Scott Rampy, M.MFT, LMFTA](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/scott-rampy/) Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6829-e1631305127874.jpg) Scott Rampy [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) Mental Health Family Therapy Relationships Divorce, Separation, Blended Families **Categories:** Communication, Couples, Emotions and Relationships, Marriage, Relationships **Tags:** Communication, couples, marriage, Marriage therapy, relationships --- ### [Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate: Part 3](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/getting-together-building-relationships-as-we-negotiate-part-3/) **Published:** October 30, 2012 **Author:** Scott Rampy **Content:** Couples sometimes struggle with communication. The inability to communicate leads to all sorts of misunderstandings, failures to resolve problems, and cycles that build up to create significant dissatisfaction with the relationship. Fisher and Brown, of the Harvard Negotiation Project, present some fundamental elements of communicating and problem solving in their book [*Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate*.](http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Together-Building-Relationships-Negotiate/dp/0140126384/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1351640970&sr=8-1&keywords=getting+together+building+relationships+as+we+negotiate) This book is the sequel to the bestseller *[Getting to Yes](http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Yes-Negotiating-Agreement-Without/dp/0143118757/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1351640997&sr=1-1&keywords=getting+to+yes).* Although not writing from a therapy background, their work on communication is consistent with what we share with our clients at Fuller Life. This the third post in a series on [*Getting Together*](http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Together-Building-Relationships-Negotiate/dp/0140126384/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1351641028&sr=1-1&keywords=getting+together+building+relationships+as+we+negotiate). The first post introduced six elements of a good working relationship. The overriding theme in each element is: “Do only those things that are both good for the relationship and good for us, whether or not they reciprocate” (38). These six elements are based on **a commitment to be unconditionally constructive.** Now we will look a bit closer at the third of the six. **3. Communication: Always consult before deciding – and listen.** Poor communication can take its toll on any relationship. Improving communication is a necessary requirement of a good working relationship. Three factors that might prevent effective communication are: 1\. When partners assume there is no need to communicate. 2\. When partners only send one type of communication – speaking. What’s missing? Listening. If both people are “transmitting” and neither is receiving, how much communication is actually taking place? Who is responsible to listen? 3\. When we send mixed messages. It is important for our actions to match our words. We need to do our best to be consistent from one day to the next. Fisher and Brown suggest three ways of strengthening the relationship through communication. 1. *ACBD – Always consult before deciding.* Consultation helps balance emotion and reason. It promotes better understanding and two-way communication. It also aids reliability. Consultation establishes acceptance in the other person – our partner’s opinion and input is valuable. 2. *Listen actively.* Many of us have a tendency to “get in our heads” when we are not speaking. We think about what we are going to say next. Put that on hold. Make an intention to listen, not just hear, the other person. Listen with empathy. Try to understand the issue through the other person’s point of view. Inquire. Ask questions. When taking the part of the speaker, be clear and succinct in order to aid the other person’s attempt to actively listen. 3. *Plan the communication* *process to minimize mixed messages.* Clarify the purpose in advance. Be honest about mixed feelings. Plan the setting because some conversations need to be in private. Consider timing and setting to help control emotion. For example, it is almost never a good time to have an emotion-laden conversation when either partner is tired or hungry. 4. Another element that I sometimes share with my clients is the importance of checking for understanding. Though it might seem stereotypical of a therapist, the phrase “So what I hear you saying is…” is tremendously useful. It is a shortcut through many possible misunderstandings. It acknowledges that we sometimes make errors in decoding what we hear as well as communicates a desire to understand. Taking the time to say “Let me see if I heard you right…” is well worth the effort. Although, speaking comes fairly naturally to most of us, listening is something that takes intentional attention and practice. If you think could benefit from a collaborative partnership to improve your relationship with [your partner](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/), a family member, friend, co-worker, or employee, send us a note through our website or call us at one of the numbers listed. We are happy to listen. [Fisher, Roger, and Scott Brown. *Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate*. New York: Penguin Books, 1988.](http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Together-Building-Relationships-Negotiate/dp/0140126384/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1351640193&sr=8-1&keywords=getting+together+building+relationships+as+we+negotiate) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Scott-Rampy-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Scott-Rampy.jpg)[Scott Rampy, M.MFT, LMFTA](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/scott-rampy/) Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6829-e1631305127874.jpg) Scott Rampy [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) Mental Health Family Therapy Relationships Divorce, Separation, Blended Families **Categories:** Communication, Couples, Emotions and Relationships, Relationships **Tags:** Communication, couples, marriage, relationships --- ### [Gratitude Builds Self-Control](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gratitude-builds-self-control/) **Published:** November 4, 2014 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** Thanksgiving is almost here. And while this may seem an odd time to begin working on self-control, an active gratitude practice can help us stay focused and achieve our long-term hopes and dreams. Just think of some of the potential benefits of gratitude: - Ability to say “No” to that last piece of pie. - Ability to hold our temper a little longer when in conflict with our spouse. ([Does Gratitude Matter in Marriage?](http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201207/does-gratitude-matter-in-marriage "Does Gratitude Matter in Marriage")) - Ability to save some extra money instead of blowing it on the next cool gadget. - Ability to study just a little longer when everyone else is outside having fun. Gratitude comes in handy. According to a [recent compilation of lab experiments on self-control](http://www.psmag.com/navigation/health-and-behavior/feeling-control-america-can-finally-learn-deal-impulses-self-regulation-89456/ "David Desteno"), four practices were shown to build our capacity for self control. These include gratitude, [compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-control-compassion-works/ "Self-Control: Compassion Works"), [authentic pride](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/celebrate-your-efforts-and-increase-self-control/ "Celebrate Your Efforts and Increase Self-Control"), and [guilt](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-control-what-do-i-do-with-guilt/ "What Do I Do With Guilt?"). > “The answer is to cultivate the right emotions, the prosocial ones, in daily life. These emotions— ***gratitude, compassion, authentic pride, and even guilt***—work from the bottom up to shape decisions that favor the ***long-term***. If we focus on ***instilling*** the capacity to experience these emotional states regularly, we’ll ***build*** resources that will automatically spring forth in reflexive and productive ways. In essence, we’ll give ourselves inoculations against temptation that, like antibodies in our bloodstream, will be ready and waiting to combat possible threats to our well-being.” ([David Desteno, September 15, 2014, Pacific Standard, The Science of Society](http://www.psmag.com/navigation/health-and-behavior/feeling-control-america-can-finally-learn-deal-impulses-self-regulation-89456/ "David Desteno")). **Ideas for Daily Gratitude Practice** [![Family at dinner](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Family-at-dinner-300x199.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Family-at-dinner.jpg)A great way to create a gratitude habit is to spice it up with different types of gratitude practice. Feel free to choose two, three, or all of the exercises below to get started. Remember it takes [sixty-six days](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-clear/forming-new-habits_b_5104807.html "Forming new habits") to create a new habit, so these exercises may not come naturally in the beginning. - Say “Thank you” for the mundane. “Sometimes we get so used to our partner, our mama or our kids doing the things they’ve always done — making breakfast, taking the trash out, sending us surprise packages, dressing themselves in the morning — that we forget to appreciate these small gestures. Don’t take those tiny moments for granted! Start with a small, specific and frequent, “Thank you.” (Stratejoy: 9 New Ways to Practice Gratitude) - Gratitude Journal: At the end of each day write three things you are grateful for. - Share gratitude at the dinner table. - Designate a glass jar as “The Gratitude Jar.” Write blessings on strips of paper at the end of each day and add them to the jar. - Say “Thank You” to everyone who serves you throughout the day: the cashier, waiter, grocery store clerk, etc. - Share “three blessings” every day with loved ones, friends, or family members. - Write a letter of gratitude to someone. Then, take it to them and read it in person. - Turn off the electronics and challenge yourself to say “thank you” for as many things as possible during your walk or drive. - For 100 days take a picture of something you are grateful for and share it with friends and family via social media. - Practice a Gratitude Meditation at the beginning of each day. Over the next few weeks, Fuller Life will explore the other practices that build self-control: compassion, authentic pride, and guilt. Until then, enjoy this incredibly beautiful and inspiring TED talk about Gratitude created by cinematographer, Louis Schwartzberg and David Stendl-Rast. [Louie Schwartzberg: Nature. Beauty. Gratitude.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lXYZ6s3Dfk) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Cognitive Reframing, Gratitude, Self-Awareness, Self-Care Practices **Tags:** gratitude, relationships, self-care practices, self-control --- ### [Are You or Someone You Know In An Abusive Relationship?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/are-you-in-an-abusive-relationship/) **Published:** October 2, 2014 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. With this in mind, Fuller Life has created a resource page for those who wonder if their relationship is abusive, as well as those who may know someone in an abusive relationship. > ***\*Safety Alert: Computer use can be monitored and is impossible to completely clear. If you are afraid your internet usage might be monitored, call the [National Domestic Violence Hotline](http://www.thehotline.org "Domestic Violence Hotline") at 1−800−799−7233 or TTY 1−800−787−3224.*** **Is My Relationship Abusive?** For those that wonder if their relationship is emotionally destructive, [Leslie Vernick](http://www.amazon.com/Emotionally-Destructive-Marriage-Voice-Reclaim/dp/0307731189/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1412273966&sr=1-1&keywords=leslie+vernick "Emotionally Destructive Marriage") created an “[Emotionally Destructive Relationship Quiz](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Emotionally-Destructive-Relationship-Quiz.pdf)” to help create some clarity. At the end of the quiz is a description of how the selected answers match up with different types of destructive relationships. **[![Broken heart](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Broken-heart-300x199.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Broken-heart.jpg)What if someone I know may be in an abusive relationship?** Offer support without judgment of criticism. Let them know that they are not at fault and that they are not alone. Encourage them to get help and respect their decisions. Check out this helpful resource for friends and family members of those in abusive relationships: [Help for Friends and Family](http://www.thehotline.org/help/help-for-friends-and-family/ "Help For Friends and Family") If you think your friend is in danger, or you want more resources to bring to your friend, help is available 24 hours a day from the [National Domestic Violence Hotline](http://www.thehotline.org "National Domestic Violence Hotline") at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224. **How Can My Church Help?** In a recent article, [Churches and Domestic Violence](http://www.thepalmerperspective.com/2014/09/11/5733/ "Churches and Domestic Violence"), Chelsie Sargent created some excellent advice on how churches can be involved in being part of the solution for the violence in many families. “*As a people called to participate in God’s healing of our world, the church is strategically aligned to be first responders to domestic violence. What would it look like to create a sheltered place where people can share the inner workings of their relationships? How do we develop a safe haven for women (or men) experiencing abuse in their marriage?”* **Domestic Violence Resources** - [Signs of Domestic Violence and Abuse](http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm#understanding "Signs of Domestic Abuse") - [Red Flags](http://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/#tab-id- "Red Flags") - [Create A Safety Plan](http://www.thehotline.org/help/path-to-safety/ "Path to Safety") - [Financial Tools for Survivors of Domestic Violence](http://www.clicktoempower.org "Financial Tools for Survivors") - [Help for Abused and Battered Women](http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_help_treatment_prevention.htm "Help for Battered and Abused Women") - [Private Online Support Group with Trained Advocates](http://www.our-place-online.net "Our Place Online") Fuller Life is actively involved in creating support and healing for families in abusive situations. Since February of 2013, Fuller Life has offered free counseling services for domestic violence survivors in the crisis center at Katy Christian ministry. Fuller Life will continue to work as advocates for change with families and other Houston agencies in the years to come. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Domestic Violence, Problem Solving, Relationships, Self-Awareness, Sticky **Tags:** abuse, Domestic Violence, Emotional Abuse, Physical Abuse --- ### [Ineffective communication, Part two: What not to do and what not to say](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/ineffective-communication-part-two-what-not-to-do-and-what-not-to-say/) **Published:** November 19, 2015 **Author:** Taylor Knox **Content:** In [part one](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/communication-do-the-words-you-choose-determine-the-response-you-get/) of this two-part blog, we learned about two of the common mistakes people make when communicating: using “you” language plus directives and making universal statements. We discussed substitutions that can be used for more effective communication. Sometimes the message the sender intends is not the message the receiver gathers. Often this is a result of mindlessly saying whatever comes to mind. Instead, challenge yourself to choose your words carefully and consider how they will be received before they come out of your mouth. This blog will help you understand two additional ineffective communication issues and provide alternate ways to more effectively communicate your message. For more helpful information on communication check out Preston Ni’s book, How to Communicate Effectively and Handle Difficult People. ***Ineffective: Tough on the person, soft on the issue*** “You are a terrible listener.” What if the person really doesn’t listen to what you say? It’s easy to fall into the trap of being hard on the person and soft on the issue when actually doing the opposite is much more effective. When we communicate, there are two components of the message: the person and the behavior being addressed. Statements to avoid: “You are so stupid.” “You look terrible.” “You are a terrible employee.” Being tough on the person and soft on the issue leaves the receiver of the message feeling resentful, insulted or discouraged. Being soft on the person and tough on the issue is a better way to rally behind the person and support the change needing to be made. ***Effective: Soft on the person, tough on the issue*** To communicate effectively, separate the person from the issue. Be soft on the person and hard on the issue. Address the behavior while still honoring the person. For example, instead of: “You are a terrible listener,” Say: “I see that your attention is divided, and I am not feeling heard.” Essentially the same message is sent, (the person didn’t hear what you said) however, the first sentence is hard on the person and second is hard on the issue. In this type of statement, people are tempted to put the word “but” where the word “and” goes. Using the word “but” as a divider typically negates the first part of the message. This puts the emphasis on the second part of the sentence, discounting all the effort made to form the first part of the sentence. If we replace “but” with “and” we place equal emphasis on both parts of the sentence. This is more effective in communicating the content of the message in a manner that is soft on the person and tough on the issue. For example: Ineffective communication # 1: “You are so stupid.” Ineffective communication #2: “You’re not a stupid person, but you made a bad decision.” Effective communication: “You’re not a stupid person, and you can make better decisions.” Ineffective communication # 1: “You are a terrible employee.” Ineffective communication #2: “You are a good employee, but your work has been unsatisfactory lately.” Effective communication: “You are a valued employee, and I have noticed a decline in your quality of work.” ***Ineffective: Dishonor Emotions*** “You’re crying again? You are so emotional.” Statements like this, although we may not realize it, judge the person to whom we are speaking. When we acknowledge the emotions a person has (either positive or negative emotions) and then disregard, depreciate, ignore or negatively evaluate those emotions we belittle those we care about. Avoid using statements like: *“You seem sad, it wasn’t that big of a deal.”* *“You’re angry again, you’re always angry.”* *“You have no reason to be so excited, second place is not the winner.”* Feelings are significant even if they seem silly to others. Dismissing the feelings of others can cause anger, hurt, repression of feelings and many other negative responses. When we are close to and love someone, it is ineffective to make them believe we don’t care about their feelings. ***Effective: Honor Emotions*** “I see you are crying and I’m sorry you are in so much pain. How can I help?” Think about the difference in the statement above and the previous, “You’re crying again? You are so emotional.” In this statement, the crying is acknowledged then their emotional experience is dishonored. In the revised honoring statement we connect with the person by honoring the person’s emotions. When people feel as though they are understood, they are more likely to be willing to open up to and be vulnerable in a relationship. Non-judgmentally acknowledging the feelings of others communicates our care and compassion. This is not the same as accepting the issue. One can still disagree with the issue while maintaining an understanding of that issue. Honoring the emotions of another person is an important way of communicating to a person that the *relationship* is important even when you disagree on an *issue*. Try using statements like: *“I can see that you are sad, I know this was a big deal to you.”* *“You seem angry, what is it that upset you?”* *“I can see how excited you are…be proud of your accomplishment.”* Your turn. Learning about common mistakes people make when trying to communicate is just the beginning. It is time to put this knowledge into practice. Take a moment to think what this might look like in your life. How might improved communication skills change the dynamic of some of your relationships? With whom do you think you need the most practice? To form new habits, begin by bringing awareness to your everyday conversations. Recognize when you use ineffective communication. This is the first part of the battle. Next, choose one important relationship and challenge yourself to change the way you communicate within that relationship. Once you’ve had some practice, begin to generalize that awareness to other relationships. You are capable of recognizing ineffective communication and taking an active role in enhancing the relationships that are important to you. Stay tuned, [![Taylor Knox Headshot2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Taylor-Knox-Headshot2-300x294.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Taylor-Knox-Headshot2-e1444940309399.jpg) [Taylor Knox, Practicum Therapist](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/taylor-knox/) Supervised by Amy Fuller PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Taylor-Knox-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-e1486988512714.jpg) Taylor Knox [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/taylorknox/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/taylorknox/) Relationships Anxiety **Categories:** Communication, Couples, Emotions and Relationships, Social Skills, Sticky **Tags:** Communication, couples, relationships --- ### [Infidelity: the natural disaster you can talk about](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/talking-after-infidelity/) **Published:** December 16, 2015 **Author:** Angela Blocker **Content:** The [initial shock](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4320-2/) of finding out about the infidelity is over. Now what? How do you talk about the aftermath of the affair? While possible, it is often difficult to find words to even begin such a conversation. Steven Nock, a sociology professor at the University of Virginia states: *If, God forbid, you come home and find your wife in bed with another man, and you are in a stable, gratifying marriage, you need to talk about what happened openly and honestly. If you can actually discuss what is going on and why it happened, those couples seem to survive.* In order for this to happen, partners need to identify their thoughts and emotions and be able to [effectively](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/communication-do-the-words-you-choose-determine-the-response-you-get/) put their feelings into words. ## Don’t Avoid Make the decision to talk to your spouse. Infidelity thrives on secrecy and ignoring it, even after both spouses know about it, only makes matters worse. Acknowledge the pain coming from the broken trust and grieve the loss of the relationship you had. It is normal to experience fear, confusion, bewilderment, ambiguity, embarrassment, or guilt. Be gentle with yourself in the process as you proceed. ## Have a Plan 1. Check your motivation and expectations. Are you trying to hurt the other person in the way you’ve been hurt? Are you seeking to blame the other person? Are you playing the victim? Are you looking for quick and easy forgiveness? Consider the expectations you have for yourself and the other person. Identifying what you want beforehand will help you stay focused during the conversation and avoid rabbit trails and the blame game. 2. Choose a neutral location where you can give each other undivided attention without interruption. 3. Select a time that works best for your schedule while considering your emotions. If you know you are normally stressed right after coming home from work, give yourself time to unwind first or choose a different time. Also, set a time limit to keep the conversation focused and productive. 4. Commit to effective communication during the conversation. Establishing standards of communication to prevent further injury can be helpful. - Some good communication rules include no cursing, no name calling, no interrupting, not drudging up past issues, and respecting the other person’s perspective and feelings. For more tools on effective communication, read this[ article](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/ineffective-communication-part-two-what-not-to-do-and-what-not-to-say/). - Have a game plan for how to end the conversation if these rules are not met. It may be helpful to have a mutually trusted neutral third party to help mediate the conversation. ## Start the Conversation Whether you will decide to proceed in the relationship or not, initiating a conversation about the infidelity can help each person clarify their understanding of the current condition of the relationship. Looking at yourself objectively in the relationship with reasonable expectations and a mindset of problem solving may help both partners become successful in either this relationship or in future relationships. 1. **Speak the truth –** Be honest about your hopes and desires and the pain you have been experiencing. Resist the urge to withdraw. Psychologist Anne Malec states it is important to avoid *“I don’t know.”* She continues to explain that “*I don’t know*” can mean “*I don’t want to share*” or “*I don’t want to feel judged*” in a way that may be “intellectually dishonest” and/or “emotionally safe.” Not speaking truthfully in these conversations can create more difficulty in the long run. Consider the needs of each spouse expressed through the answers to the questions raised about the infidelity. 2. **Consider the meaning –** Esther Perel, psychotherapist and relationship expert, discusses the importance of meaning when talking through affairs in her [TEDtalk]() (see below). She explains that questions such as “Where were You?”, “How often?” –and the intimate details of the infidelity tend to lead to more pain. Instead, ask meaning-making questions. In many cases, affairs can mean a loss of identity or hope for an anticipated future. Affairs loudly announce the distance between couples and may serve as a coping mechanism to mask deep rooted feelings of inadequacy, worthlessness, discontentment or disgust. They can also disguise fears of rejection and unmet expectations. Often issues of self-worth, body image, intimacy, fears and desires become revealed. Exploring these meanings help to define which elements of trust have been lost and give a framework for possibly rebuilding the relationship. ## Ask for help Talking about infidelity can be challenging and having a third party available to help may serve you well. Communication about the affair can be disastrous or be a stepping stone towards individual and interpersonal growth. Surrounding yourself with a team, including your therapist, pastor and a trusted friend can help you as you navigate. Healing after an affair is a process and Fuller life is here to support and encourage as you move towards a fuller life. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Angela-Blocker-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Contributed by [Angela Blocker , M.A, LMFT Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Clinical Supervision by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) References Elder, S. (2007). Surviving Infidelity Is Hard to Do. Retrieved December 16, 2015, from Malec, A. (2014, October). How to Talk to Your Partner about Your Affair. Retrieved December 19, 2016, from Nelson, P. (2013, March 23). Can I Get Over An Affair? The Three Phases Of Recovery. Retrieved December 3, 2015, from [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tammy-nelson-phd/can-i-get-over-an-affair-\_b\_2911106.html](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tammy-nelson-phd/can-i-get-over-an-affair-_b_2911106.html) Nock, S. (1998). Marriage in men’s lives. New York: Oxford University Press. Perel, Esther (2015)Esther Perel: Rethinking infidelity … a talk for anyone who has ever loved. Retrieved January 26, 2016 from[ http://www.ted.com](https://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_rethinking_infidelity_a_talk_for_anyone_who_has_ever_loved?language=en) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Angela-Blocker-LMFT-e1631303162413.png) Angela Blocker [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) Mental Health Play Therapy Parenting Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Communication, Couples, Divorce, Infidelity, Problem Solving, Relationships, Sticky **Tags:** adultery, affair, Communication, Infidelity, marriage --- ### [Person and Machine: A Guide to a More Balanced Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/person-and-machine-a-guide-to-a-more-balanced-life/) **Published:** September 11, 2014 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** **Social Networking and Well-Being** We all know too much of a good thing can make us sick… whether it be too much chocolate, too much exposure to sunlight, or even too much time with social media. Online social media has been around for a little over ten years and is the “go to” thing for connection. It is a great way to stay in touch, increase business visibility, connect with like-minded individuals, and stay informed about local events. But what do we know about the impact on our overall well-being and life-satisfaction? According to the research we are learning the more time spent on social media technologies, the more negative the impact it has in these areas: - [Increased anxiety](http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-anxiety-of-facebook/00019448 "The Anxiety of Facebook") - [Increases in depression and loneliness](http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9841579 "Internet paradox. A social technology that reduces social involvement and psychological well-being?") - [Elevation in blood pressure, heart rate, and cortisol levels](http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/10096907/Email-raises-stress-levels.html "Email Raises Stress Level") - [Decline in life satisfaction levels](http://arxiv.org/abs/1408.3550 "Online Network and Subjective Well-Being") - [Decline in subjective well-being](http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0069841 "Facebook Use Predicts Declines in Subjective Well-Being in Young Adults") - [Decreased trust in people](http://arxiv.org/abs/1408.3550 "Online networks and subjective well-being") - [Increased isolation from others](http://www.calsouthern.edu/content/articles/technology-impact-on-social-relationships-surprising-data/ "Technology Impact on Social Relationships") - [Associated with addiction and dependency](http://www.chabad4israel.org/tznius4israel/newdisorder.pdf "New Disorder") These findings can feel a little frightening. What can we do when everyone around us expects us to be “online” 24/7? How can we possibly slow down when everything in our society is going faster and faster? What can we do when our technologies seem to be in control? Awareness is key. When we are more aware of the potential dangers, we can create a new relationship with our technology that takes our well-being into consideration. **We Can Take Personal Action with Awareness and Balance** **Increase Awareness** Now that we know some of the dangers of too much time with technology, we can respond to ourselves with more awareness. One way to increase awareness is to take notes about the time spent on the computer, phone, or tablet. Rate on a scale of 1-10 (1 = none, 10 = extreme) how you feel in some of the areas listed above; such as mood, anxiety level, feelings of loneliness, life-satisfaction, etc. Rate yourself at the beginning and at the end. Notice any differences. This information can help us learn to tune-in to our bodies. We can listen to how we feel and respond to ourselves according to what we experience. If we notice we are becoming more anxious or moody, stop and engage in something else. If it is difficult to come up with something to do, Fuller Life has a number of “[healing practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices/ "Healing Practices")” that are enriching for both the body and spirit. **Create Balance with Technology** One of the challenges of social media is that it begins to crowd out other things that are important in our life. It can easily slip more and more into every crevice of our day. What if we could engage online in a way that creates balance between our technologies and our face-to-face experiences? We can set aside tech-free zones that protect our well-being and cultivate close relationships. MIT professor, Sherry Turkle, calls these times “sacred space.” > *Sacred space is for me the places in your daily life you want to keep for yourself and the people who you need to give full attention to… It’s dinner, it’s sharing meals with your family, it’s that moment at school pickup when your kid looks up and is trying to meet your eye.* Sherry Turkle Here are some ideas to try out with your friends and your family. **Tech-Free Spaces[![Dinner Time](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Dinner-Time-300x199.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Dinner-Time.jpg)** - Time in nature with a friend - Time around the dinner table - School pick-up and drop-off - Date night - Study time for exams - Tech free zones in the home - Bed-time Every new practice takes time to feel natural. It takes at least [66 days](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-clear/forming-new-habits_b_5104807.html "Forming New Habits") to create a new habit. Experiment with one or two of the ideas up above, or create your own possibilities, and notice what happens. **It is essential to change our relationship with social media because it is here to stay.** With awareness and balance, we can respond to our technologies in a way that puts us back in the driver’s seat, so that our health and wellness are no longer at the mercy of our machines. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Mental Health, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Awareness, Self-Care Practices, Time Management **Tags:** mental health, self awareness, self-care practices, social media, stress management --- ### [Who Else Wants to Feel Human?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/who-else-wants-to-feel-human/) **Published:** July 17, 2014 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** What can we do to feel more human today? Some days we may feel like we are running on autopilot, or like robots perpetually running on empty. This is especially true when the spaces in our lives squeeze together. Parenting, care-giving, crises, and life transitions have the potential of squeezing our self-care abilities below the bare minimum, leaving us in a self-care deficit. When we are in the middle of “the squeeze,” the things that used to be nourishing or important tend to take a back seat to the more urgent or pressing tasks at hand. This way of living is unavoidable at times, but cannot be sustained for long periods without impacting health and emotional wellness. What can we do to feel mostly human? In her book, [The Life Organizer](http://jenniferlouden.com/products/books/ "Jennifer Louden Books"), Jennifer Louden discusses the practice of allocating minimum requirements for self-care, or MRSC’s. > “MRSC’s are the basic things you need to stay in touch with yourself, to have a strong foundation to meet the rather constant challenges of life, and to ease the noise in your head. Things like loving yourself with yoga, getting enough sleep, being outdoors in the teasing spring wind, saying no to a great invite because you need time to putter alone. They aren’t sexy, they aren’t earth shattering, but without them, you tend to get all blurry and knotty and resentful.” Jennifer Louden What are your MRSC’s? What are the very basic, simplest, minimal things that are essential to feel human each day? When we allow ourselves even the bare minimum, we may be able to navigate the difficult stretches of our lives in a more sustainable and compassionate way. [Helpguide.org](http://m.helpguide.org/articles/stress/stress-management "helpguide.org stress management") has some great ideas on how to manage stress and nourish ourselves. Some of these include: - Go for a walk - Spend time in nature - Call a good friend - Sweat out tension with a good workout - Write in your journal - Take a long bath - Light scented candles - Savor a warm cup of coffee or tea - Play with a pet - Work in your garden - Get a massage - Curl up with a good book - Listen to music - Watch a comedy” When life is more open, we will have time for each one of these tools and many more. But, when the space in life narrows, choosing one or two things a day, the basic MRSC’s, will go a long way in helping us feel more human. I visited with a male friend of mine and he shared his list of MSRC’s: - A cup of coffee in the morning - Riding his motorcycle to work - The satisfaction of finishing at least one significant work task - Tasty food - Coming home to family - Time in the recliner - Quiet time after everyone’s gone to bed Some of my personal MRSC’s are: Daily : - Hugs and I Love You’s - Daily vitamins - Plenty of sleep, including occasional naps - Basic nutrition Occasionally throughout the week: - Walking in nature - Yoga Every person is different, so take some time and notice what little things make the day a little better. Then, add a couple of these into your daily routine and notice what happens. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Mindfulness Practice, Relationships, Self-Care Practices, Sticky, Stress Management **Tags:** mental health, self-care, stress management --- ### [9 Steps for Coping with Unemployment Anxiety](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/steps-unemployment-anxiety/) **Published:** June 17, 2016 **Author:** Laura Cardella **Content:** Unemployment is a painful time. This transition can also be a time for growth. Families can use stress relieving techniques to regain control of their anxieties while facing their reduced circumstances and seeking new employment. While job uncertainty creates stress, taking steps to incorporate life balancing practices alleviates anxiety. Self-nurturing adds balance to one’s life and builds up self confidence in the best and worst of life circumstances. One place to start is with basic self-care. The self-care wheel found at [Olga Phoenix Project](http://www.olgaphoenix.com/) suggests activities to give care to the self in each of six areas-spiritual, physical, emotional, personal, psychological and professional. ### Steps You Can Take Right Now:** 9 Healthy activities you can add to your day to combat the down side of unemployment are: #### Breathe Become aware of your breathing. Several times a day, practice breathing deeply, as you notice the good feeling of sending oxygen throughout your body. 3-5 Slow, deep breaths can help you care for yourself throughout a tough day. #### [Guided imagery](https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=guided+imagery+recordings&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Aguided+imagery+recordings) Use peaceful memories to mentally relax in the present moment. Five to ten minutes is all it takes to engage your imagination and feel the renewal of your spirit. Audio recordings are available if you prefer to listen to guided imagery. #### Talk to yourself Affirmations are another self-soothing habit, inexpensive and proactive. You can list them on a sheet of paper, or on file cards that fit in your pocket. Some of these, which you can repeat to yourself throughout the day, could be: “I am lovable.” “I am capable.” “I am smart.” “I am good.” “I am important.” [ Self-care books with other suggestions are available at your library or bookstore.](https://www.amazon.com/gp/richpub/listmania/fullview/R1YEVUWG2162NX) **Prayer** Though tempted to feel abandoned when things don’t go our way, leaning into faith when things don’t go our way can provide a real source of strength in times of uncertainty. #### Hang out with others When in job stress, it is important to stay connected to friends and to not isolate ourselves. If your friends tend to expound on their latest cruises and vacations, you may feel safer with other more life-giving friends at this time. #### Make use of media Recall favorite books, movies and songs that have uplifted you and inspired you. [TED TALKS](http://athingnamed.com/best-ted-talks-on-anxiety-stress-and-fear/) have a number of anti-anxiety and stress-busting talks you may look up and watch online. #### [Gratitude](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gratitude-2/) A healthy practice for every day is to wake up recalling something for which you are grateful and just before going to sleep being thankful. Rather than being lazy, dig deeper than the visible surface to those intangible things you might overlook, but truly appreciate. #### [Resilience](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resiliency-learning-to-thrive/) Think back to a time when you were in a challenging situation. Recall the strengths you exhibited as you coped with the situation and regained your strength to move on. Now think how those strengths can be utilized in these circumstances. Those traits you have are called resilience. They stay with you and can be called into use over and over again. They are yours. You can call on your resilience every time you require power to meet a challenge. #### Look for the Gift This is a tough one, and it may not be clear until years down the road. Does your unemployment open a window for you to accomplish another of your life’s goals? Could this be an opportunity to work on a neglected project that your unemployment makes time for? ### **You Can Do It!** The above steps can be put into practice, little by little, if they are life-giving for you. We all have times we wish we didn’t have to endure. However, we can choose to be balanced and healthy while going through these tough times. As the Olympic coach Bela Karolyi says, “You can do it! Why not?” For further reading see fullerlifefamilytherapy.org for blogs [Managing Disappointment](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/managing-disappointment/) and [“Fear and Panic.”](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/panic/) [![Laurie Cardella Headshot](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Laurie-Cardella-Headshot-150x150.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/lauracardella/) Contributed by [Laura Cardella, LPC-Intern](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/lauracardella/) Supervised under [Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Laurie-Cardella-Fuller-Life-Headshot-e1486988355384.jpg) Laura Cardella [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/laura-cardella/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/laura-cardella/) Mental Health Stress and Anger Management **Categories:** Cognitive Reframing, Gratitude, Self-Esteem, Spirituality, Unemployment **Tags:** anxiety, gratitude, Job Stress, Unemployment --- ### [Is it Okay to Feel Sad Over the Holidays?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-it-okay-to-feel-sad-over-the-holidays/) **Published:** December 11, 2014 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** The holiday season is often filled with a mixture of feelings. Many of us believe that we are supposed to feel happy and lighthearted this time of year. It may appear that everyone else around us has it “all together” and is having a good time. Could something be wrong if we actually feel sad? Sadness is actually very common for many during this time of year. “Listening in” to our sadness may be the beginning of a journey toward healing. Our emotions (e.g., happiness, anger, sadness, fear, etc.) give us clues to better understand ourselves and navigate the world we inhabit. Our body is telling us that something may need to change so that we can live more fully. There are a number of possibilities that can contribute to feelings of sadness such as unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others, fatigue, poor nutrition or physical health, destructive relationship patterns, and even the belief that we need to be perfect. According to [Dr. Heidi, Lepper](http://www.heidilepper.com/2009/06/personality-psychology-sadness.asp "Sadness") , > “*Sadness must be viewed as a temporary and useful state. It is okay to be sad! It is there to help you learn something important, and that is to solve a problem! When you protect yourself from it, avoid it all together, put it in your pocket, or surround yourself with people trying to “cheer” you up, you just eliminated learning something useful. First, that you have the ability to make solid changes to the loss or failure that warranted the sadness and second, that you have a tool bag to go to to cope until that change takes effect. Again, sadness, like all emotions, is a temporary state, our bodies do not sustain the emotional impact for long, so use it while you have it*.” How can we respond to ourselves when we feel sad? We can create a plan of self-care. Here are a few ideas to get started: - Try not to beat yourself up with how you “should” feel. When we learn that sadness is a normal experience that is common during the holidays, it takes the pressure off of having to be or feel a certain way. - A little [self-compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-compassion/ "Self-Compassion") goes a long way. Write out some ideas on how you can be kind to yourself when you feel sad. - Establish more realistic goals and expectations. Make a list of all of the extra to-do’s and cross some things off the list. - Get some rest. When we skip out on sleep in order to keep up with all of the extra demands, it can increase irritability and impact our ability to think clearly. - Make a little time to exercise. A brisk walk or jog can really improve one’s mood and give a little bit more energy to meet the extra demands. - [Practice gratitude](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-power-of-gratitude/ "The Power of Positive Emotions"). Noticing just a few blessings every day can actually increase feelings of hopefulness. - Find someone supportive and trustworthy to talk honestly and openly about what the sadness means for you. If you feel sad today, you are not alone. Fuller Life Family Therapy is here to support and encourage anyone on their journey toward a fuller life. For more ideas on “beating the holiday blues” check out these links: - [Holiday Depression, Anxiety and Stress](http://www.medicinenet.com/holiday_depression_and_stress/article.htm "Holiday Depression, Anxiety and Stress") - [Help for the Holiday Blues](http://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentTypeID=1&ContentID=2094 "Help for the Holiday Blues") [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Cognitive Reframing, Depression, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Care Practices, Sticky **Tags:** compassion, depression, gratitude --- ### [Your Heart-Healthy Tip For the Holidays](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/forgiveness/) **Published:** December 16, 2014 **Author:** Lesley Anne Mendonça **Content:** Is there someone you’ve been trying to forgive? Everyone can relate to feeling wronged. To be human is to suffer. Whether it be by others or ourselves, we are bombarded with daily circumstances that hold potential to hurt us. Yet, from our youth, we are taught to “forgive one another.” For many of us, the word [*forgiveness*](http://www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/topic/forgiveness/understanding-forgiveness "What Forgiveness Is NOT") can often trigger feelings of guilt, anger, defensiveness and even shame. Perhaps it is because the act of forgiving *appears* to be something we give to others – and maybe we are not yet ready to *give* from a still-wounded heart. We think, “If I forgive, the other person wins”. Hurts build from day to day, and in our busy lives we fail to give each one the attention it deserves. We hope our hurts will somehow resolve themselves. The all-too-common result is a build-up of negative emotions, both in our hearts and in our relationships. Feelings of bitterness, resentment and anger begin to grow in our hearts, hardening us from the inside-out. Though invisible, this process has potential to bring us to a very real place of painful isolation – even from ourselves. Rather than risk vulnerability to forgive – we cling to the safer option of staying in our pain. Forgiveness, however, is the very thing we need for freedom and healing! **Fact: Forgiveness Is Good For Your Health** Unforgiveness lives as a constant threat to our connection with others and with ourselves. When anger and resentment take the place of forgiveness, they deplete our health and add stress to our body. Freedom comes in shifting our framework to see: we are not obligated to forgive, we are FREE to forgive. [Countless studies](http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/do-the-right-thing/201403/7-rules-forgiveness "Health Benefits of Forgiveness") show that practicing forgiveness begets a decrease of toxicities such as stress, tension, levels of depression, anxiety, and anger (Plante, 2014). **What Is Forgiveness?** Forgiveness is the act of compassionately releasing the desire to punish someone or yourself for an offense, according to [Dr. Judith Orloff](http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-freedom/201109/the-power-forgiveness-even-911 "The Power of Forgiveness"). The act of releasing something that is causing us distress brings the possibility of freedom and connection. In the hustle and bustle of preparing for the holiday season, we can remind ourselves of what we truly value. Perhaps it is connection with ourselves and those we love. If there is something weighing on your heart or dividing you from others – consider taking steps towards forgiveness. Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation, nor does it mean enduring abuse. It means that we are taking steps to ensure that resentment holds no power over us. **Steps Toward Forgiveness** 1. **Confront your feelings, honestly.** This task requires courage and self-compassion. Understand that any authentic feeling is valid, and courage is an ally as you uncover the truth about your hurts. Remember that everyone has the capacity to be hurt, it comes with being human! Practice compassion with yourself as you explore your hurt. 2. **Process your feelings with trusted people.** This can be a trusted friend, a religious leader, a therapist or a family member. This step is not to be done with the offender, but with someone who can provide a compassionately honest response. Attempt to search your feelings for increased insight and growth. 3. **Befriend [imperfection](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ck6atQ6xppc "Brene Brown on Imperfection.").** The ultimate goal of this step is to develop compassion for the offender. This step is begun, however, by merely getting in touch with how every person is flawed and [imperfect](http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/do-the-right-thing/201403/forgiveness-4-helpful-strategies-do-it-better "More On Forgiveness"). Each of us is the way we are for a reason, and compassion for self and others can go a long way in the process of forgiveness. Peruse resources by [Dr. Kristin Neff](http://www.self-compassion.org/ "Dr. Kristin Neff") and [Dr. Brene Brown](http://www.brenebrown.com "Dr. Brene Brown") for help on the art of compassion. Once you’ve gotten comfortable with it, you can begin cultivating compassion for the offender. For example, “Maybe he has never felt validated in his life, which is why he invalidated me.” 4. **Visualize letting it go. [![canstockphoto4253709](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/canstockphoto4253709-200x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/canstockphoto4253709-e1418258320430.jpg)** In this step, visualize exchanging your chief negative emotions (anger, hurt, resentment, etc.) with peace. It may help to develop a mantra (“I am okay” or “I am loved”). It can also help to meditate on the words “compassionate release”, as previously mentioned in the definition of “forgiveness”. The act of releasing is often uncomfortable, yet exquisitely freeing. The process of releasing may require multiple attempts until fully released, so do not be dismayed if old wounds return occasionally. The best news about forgiveness? It’s free to you! This holiday season, help yourself to the blessing of forgiveness. Good luck in the journey! [![Lesley Anne Mendonça](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Lesley-Photo-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Lesley-Photo.jpg) **Lesley Anne Mendonça** **M.A., LMFT-Associate, LPC-Intern** **Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, LMFT-S, LPC-S** ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6838-e1631304820220.jpg) Lesley Anne Mendonça Lesley is a Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy. She practices individual, marital and family counseling, and has a background in ministry with adolescents. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) Mental Health Play Therapy Relationships Parenting Family Therapy [ ![social network icon](data:image/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMTYiIGhlaWdodD0iMTYiIHZpZXdCb3g9IjAgMCAxNiAxNiIgZmlsbD0ibm9uZSIgeG1sbnM9Imh0dHA6Ly93d3cudzMub3JnLzIwMDAvc3ZnIj4KPGcgY2xpcC1wYXRoPSJ1cmwoI2NsaXAwXzM0M185OTUpIj4KPHBhdGggZD0iTTE0LjgxNTYgMEgxLjE4MTI1QzAuNTI4MTI1IDAgMCAwLjUxNTYyNSAwIDEuMTUzMTNWMTQuODQzOEMwIDE1LjQ4MTMgMC41MjgxMjUgMTYgMS4xODEyNSAxNkgxNC44MTU2QzE1LjQ2ODggMTYgMTYgMTUuNDgxMyAxNiAxNC44NDY5VjEuMTUzMTNDMTYgMC41MTU2MjUgMTUuNDY4OCAwIDE0LjgxNTYgMFpNNC43NDY4NyAxMy42MzQ0SDIuMzcxODhWNS45OTY4N0g0Ljc0Njg3VjEzLjYzNDRaTTMuNTU5MzggNC45NTYyNUMyLjc5Njg4IDQuOTU2MjUgMi4xODEyNSA0LjM0MDYyIDIuMTgxMjUgMy41ODEyNUMyLjE4MTI1IDIuODIxODggMi43OTY4OCAyLjIwNjI1IDMuNTU5MzggMi4yMDYyNUM0LjMxODc1IDIuMjA2MjUgNC45MzQzNyAyLjgyMTg4IDQuOTM0MzcgMy41ODEyNUM0LjkzNDM3IDQuMzM3NSA0LjMxODc1IDQuOTU2MjUgMy41NTkzOCA0Ljk1NjI1Wk0xMy42MzQ0IDEzLjYzNDRIMTEuMjYyNVY5LjkyMTg4QzExLjI2MjUgOS4wMzc1IDExLjI0NjkgNy44OTY4NyAxMC4wMjgxIDcuODk2ODdDOC43OTM3NSA3Ljg5Njg3IDguNjA2MjUgOC44NjI1IDguNjA2MjUgOS44NTkzOFYxMy42MzQ0SDYuMjM3NVY1Ljk5Njg3SDguNTEyNVY3LjA0MDYzSDguNTQzNzVDOC44NTkzNyA2LjQ0MDYzIDkuNjM0MzggNS44MDYyNSAxMC43ODc1IDUuODA2MjVDMTMuMTkwNiA1LjgwNjI1IDEzLjYzNDQgNy4zODc1IDEzLjYzNDQgOS40NDM3NVYxMy42MzQ0VjEzLjYzNDRaIiBmaWxsPSIjNDM0OTYwIi8+CjwvZz4KPGRlZnM+CjxjbGlwUGF0aCBpZD0iY2xpcDBfMzQzXzk5NSI+CjxyZWN0IHdpZHRoPSIxNiIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxNiIgZmlsbD0id2hpdGUiLz4KPC9jbGlwUGF0aD4KPC9kZWZzPgo8L3N2Zz4K) ](https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesleymendonca/) **Categories:** Boundaries, Cognitive Reframing, Emotional Intelligence, Self-Care Practices, Sticky **Tags:** forgiveness, healing, relationships, self-care practices --- ### [Picture This! How to Get What You Dream](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/picture-this-how-to-get-what-you-dream/) **Published:** May 10, 2016 **Author:** Shani Bell **Content:** Vision boards can be helpful for people who are looking to discover, clarify or focus on their future goals. Creating a visual representation of things you want to achieve, and setting it before you, helps you create a habit of daily focus. Such daily focus can inspire, encourage, and remind you to take regular steps towards your success. An earlier [blog](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/need-creative-solutions-try-this/) described the problem-solving benefits of creating a collage. The same principle applies to creating vision boards to clarify future goals. **Steps to a Brighter Future** 1. **Gather supplies**: Magazines, scissors, glue, poster board and markers. Additional supplies like paint, scrapbook materials, glitter, etc. are optional, but add pizzazz. 2. **Spend a little time meditating, praying or journaling about the direction of your life or the particular area for which you are setting goals**. Your vision may include career goals, business ventures, hopes for family and relationships, spirituality or travel. Open yourself up to huge possibilities while being realistic. Set a reasonable number of goals, preferably no more than 5, that are workable and achievable. Be specific. Instead of thinking, “I want to be more charitable,” think about what being charitable looks like. What causes are important to you? How will you give your time and other resources? Goals can be long-term or short-term. You may consider creating such a board in place of annual resolutions. 3. Next, start skimming through magazines and clippings. **Pull out images that speak to you and connect with your vision.** You can be symbolic or literal here, whatever helps you visualize the dreams and goals seeking. If you’re spiritual, you can ask for direction. As you pull the images out, start arranging them or just set them aside until you feel that you have found all the ones you need. 4. Now **assemble the images on your board**. If you are representing several areas of goals, you may want to divide the board into different sections and label each (i.e. Spiritual Growth, Family, Finances, etc.). When you’ve settled on the design and arrangement, glue them down. Add labels, paint, glitter – or just keep it simple. It’s YOUR vision board. Make it a reflection of you. [![Vision-Board-3-2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Vision-Board-3-2-200x300.jpg)](http://www.themodchik.com/2011/01/vision-board/) [![visionboard3](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/visionboard3-200x300.jpg)](http://www.mericherry.com/2011/10/17/make-vision-board/) **Make it Work** Creating the vision board is just the FIRST step. The key is to place this visible reminder in an area where you will see it daily. Consider taking a picture of the vision board and using it as a screensaver on your computer or mobile devices. [But don’t just *look* at it.](https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-blame-game/201205/throw-away-your-vision-board-0) It is not enough to simply look at what you create and lose yourself in the daydream about someday. Invest yourself in the vision you set before you by making a step towards it daily. If you’re looking to take more family vacations, let the vision board remind you to research and plan for the next trip. If your vision is to make a career change, see your vision board as a reminder to sign up for college courses or motivate you to send out your resume every day. After you create the vision board, work the vision! To keep yourself motivated as you achieve goals, you can even use the vision board as a checklist. Place check marks, stick pins or cross out met goals. Add quotes, scriptures or words of affirmation to help encourage you on the journey. Would you like someone to help you work towards finding direction and focus for your life? Contact one of our Resident Therapists at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute. [![Shani Bell Headshot Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Shani-Bell-Headshot-Fuller-Life-296x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Shani-Bell-Headshot-Fuller-Life.jpg) [Shani Bell, MAAT, LPC-Intern](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shanibell/) Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S and Dr. Sheryl Corbit, EdD, ATR-BC, LPC-AT/S ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Fuller-Life-2018-Shani-Bell-LPC-ATR-copy-1-e1631304334456.jpg) Shani Bell [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) Art Therapy Mindfulness Anxiety **Categories:** Mental Health, Mindfulness Practice, Problem Solving, Self-Care Practices, Time Management **Tags:** mental health, mindfulness, mindfulness practice, Self-Care Practice --- ### [Self-Control: What do I do with Guilt?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-control-what-do-i-do-with-guilt/) **Published:** February 26, 2015 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** Wouldn’t it be great to build up our self-control “muscles?” More “staying power” could make a big difference in so many areas. What if we could increase our ability to: - Say “no” to that last piece of pie. - Hold our temper a little longer. - Save some extra money instead of blowing it on the next cool gadget. - Study just a little longer when everyone else is outside having fun. **Self-Control** Is it possible to acquire self-control and then build it like you would exercise a muscle? According to a recent compilation of lab experiments on self-control, four emotional characteristics were shown to boost our self-control (Desteno, 2014). - [Gratitude](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/happy-thanksgiving-gratitude-builds-self-control/ "Gratitude Builds Self-Control") - [Compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-control-compassion-works/ "Self-Control: Compassion Works") - [Guilt](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-control-what-do-i-do-with-guilt/ "What do I do with guilt?") - [Authentic pride](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/celebrate-your-efforts-and-increase-self-control/ "Celebrate Your Efforts and Increase Self-Control") Over the past few weeks, Fuller Life’s blog has explored how to develop the characteristics of [gratitude](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/happy-thanksgiving-gratitude-builds-self-control/ "Gratitude Builds Self-Control") and [compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-control-compassion-works/ "Self-Control: Compassion Works"). Today’s post will focus on the importance of guilt. **Guilt vs. Shame** How can guilt become a motivator to help a person stay on task and achieve goals? In order to understand this better, it is important to shed some light on the distinction between guilt and another important emotion – shame. In 1971, Helen Lewis, a clinical psychologist at Yale, defined the difference between these two emotions: > “Guilt: I ***did*** that horrible ***thing****.* > > Shame: ***I*** did that horrible thing.” (Lewis, 1971) The difference is subtle, but significant. Guilt is about my behavior. Shame is the experience that tells me that I am worthless. According to [Brené Brown’s recent TED talk](http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame?language=en "Listening to Shame"), the distinction between these two emotions has a monumental impact on our well-being. > “There’s a huge difference between shame and guilt. And here’s what you need to know. Shame is highly, highly correlated with addiction, depression, violence, aggression, bullying, suicide, eating disorders. And here’s what you even need to know more. Guilt, is inversely correlated with those things. The ability to hold something we’ve done or failed to do up against who we want to be is incredibly adaptive. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s adaptive.” In other words, guilt is a resilient characteristic. It allows us to bounce back from painful circumstances and mistakes. We are able to learn from our mistakes and stay connected with the people we love. Shame, on the other hand, is like quicksand. It sinks us down into feeling helpless and powerless to change things for the better. Shame makes us want to hide. It pulls us further away from the support of others. The endless downward cycle fuels addiction, anxiety and depression. **Guilt and Self-Control** How is this distinction important when it comes to self-control? The shame cycle is defeating. The shame cycle disconnects us from others. “I yelled at someone I love… Or, I missed that important meeting. I am worthless, so why bother? Why even try? I am unfixable. It isn’t going to matter anyway.” A shame response leaves us with nowhere to go. > “Shame is an acutely painful emotion that is typically accompanied by a sense of shrinking or of ‘being small’ and a sense of worthlessness and powerlessness. Shame often leads to a desire to escape or hide – to sink into the floor and disappear” (Tangey and Dearing, 2003). Conversely, a guilt response is adaptive. “I made a mistake. I yelled at the person I love… Or, I missed that important meeting. I feel terrible about it. I am sorry. I will try to do better next time.” A guilt response connects us to all of humanity because we all make mistakes. We feel remorse, can change our course and then create something better. > “Guilt is a useful emotion. It pushes people to repair the harm they did. But feelings of shame about oneself seem to motivate people more to want to hide, escape, deny or a lot of times to blame other people” ([Bernstein, 2014](http://www.wsj.com/articles/guilt-versus-shame-one-is-productive-the-other-isnt-and-how-to-tell-them-apart-1415038844 "Guilt versus shame")). **Make a Move Toward Guilt** Below are some resources that provide tools to help us break out of a shame cycle (shame resilience) into a more adaptive guilt response toward self. - [Test of Self-Conscious Affect (TOSCA)](https://svrcp3.marketrends.net/~evaghion/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/TOSCA-SRC.pdf "Test of Self-Conscious Affect") is a quick little quiz that shows whether we are more guilt-prone or shame prone. - [Shame Resilience](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/08/brene-brown-shame-oprah_n_4059675.html "Shame Resilience"): How can respond to ourselves when we experience shame. - [Brené Brown Listening To Shame](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psN1DORYYV0 "Brene Brown: Listening to Shame") [Brené Brown: 3 Things You Can Do to Stop a Shame Spiral](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdtabNt4S7E) Our next blog will explore authentic pride, another characteristic that builds our capacity for self-control. Fuller Life Family Therapy is here to support and encourage those on their journey toward a fuller life. **References** Bernstein, E. (November 3, 2014). Guilt Versus Shame: One is Productive, the Other Isn’t, and How to Tell Them Apart. Wall Street Journal. Brown, B. (March 2012). TED Talk. Listening to Shame. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psN1DORYYV0 Lewis, H. (1971). Shame and Guilt in Neurosis. International Universities Press. Tangey, J., and Dearing, R. (2003). Shame and Guilt: Emotions and Social Behavior. The Guildford Press. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Mental Health, Self-Awareness, Self-Care Practices, Self-Validation (affirmations), Sticky **Tags:** self-care, self-control, shame versus guilt --- ### [What Your Sleep Patterns Are Really Telling You](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sleep/) **Published:** March 11, 2015 **Author:** Lesley Anne Mendonça **Content:** We, as a culture, are sleep-deprived. Among the *many* [dangers ](https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201308/chasing-slumber "Chasing Slumber")of being starved for sleep is that we mask our sleeping woes and fool ourselves into thinking we aren’t tired. We need an intervention! The National Sleep Foundation (NSF) released a [poll ](http://sleepfoundation.org/media-center/press-release/annual-sleep-america-poll-exploring-connections-communications-technology-use-/page/0%2C1/ "NSF Poll")in 2011 showing a number of alarming statistics. - 43% of Americans (ages 13-64) report rarely sleeping well on a weeknight. - 60% of Americans report experiencing a sleep disorder most nights (if not every night). - Roughly two thirds of American’s report not having their sleep needs met. - 95% of those surveyed report using interactive technology\* in the hour prior to sleep. *\[\* This study distinguishes between passive technology (television, music, etc.) and interactive technology (cell phones, video games and internet surfing). As one would imagine, interactive technology poses a greater threat to your mind and body winding down before bed.\]* So what is happening to us? The evidence that supports the strong connection between nighttime *screen time* and *sleep dysfunction* is ongoing. By now, we’ve likely all heard about the effect artificial light exposure has on our sleep. Let’s review, just for fun: The more artificial light we take in closer to bedtime, the more our body suppresses the release of the sleep-promoting hormone melatonin. According to [Dr. Charles Czeisler](http://sleepfoundation.org/media-center/press-release/annual-sleep-america-poll-exploring-connections-communications-technology-use-/page/0%2C1/ "NSF Poll"), this “…enhances our alertness and shifts circadian rhythms to a later hour—making it more difficult to fall asleep.” But is the issue really just about [screen time](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/person-and-machine-a-guide-to-a-more-balanced-life/ "Technology Balance") at night? Or can we honestly consider some deeper, lifestyle changes we may need to make? **Common Root Causes** If we think about the act of falling asleep, it comes down to **control**. The phrase “fall asleep” indicates that we must let go of anything we are holding onto and *fall* into our sleep. Yet, as our culture asks that we gain more and more control over our existence, the act of falling asleep begins to run counter to our changing instincts. Feeling as though we have no control over sleep may breed anxiety and tension, which only takes us further away from our much-needed rest. The sheer pace of our lives can also feed the issue of sleep-deprivation. Rather than strike a [healthy work-life balance](http://www.ted.com/talks/nigel_marsh_how_to_make_work_life_balance_work?language=en "Work-Life Balance Video"), we strive to be on top professionally. This eventually leads to hyperactivity and spinning wheels. The unfortunate result of our busyness is that we train our brain and body to move faster and faster. At night, when we finally slow down, we are left with a dizzying merry-go-round of blurred thoughts and feelings. Lastly, we mustn’t discount what troubled sleep might be telling us about our emotional state. Insomnia is increasingly linked to a number of that go untreated if we aren’t dealing with them. There are a number of other possible root causes that we can only discover if we take the time to explore ourselves. **What To Do [![canstockphoto17545334](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/canstockphoto17545334-300x198.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/canstockphoto17545334-e1426103046160.jpg)** 1. **Slow down.** Create time in your day for slowing down, processing and connecting to yourself on a deeper level. This can be done through [breath work](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/feel-overwhelmed-take-a-breath/ "Breath Work"), meditation and [mindfulness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindfulness/ "Mindfulness"). Though some of our days are more demanding than others, treat this as a priority and make it happen. 2. **Practice letting go.** If healthy sleep is about control, we need to become good at [surrendering](http://tinybuddha.com/blog/power-surrendering-let-go-control-peaceful-free/ "How to Surrender"). This can be done through a mantra that adjusts your frame of mind throughout the day (“I am not in control and I am okay”). When we encounter a situation that causes us tension, we can use those moments as opportunities to practice [letting go](http://tinybuddha.com/blog/let-go-of-control-how-to-learn-the-art-of-surrender/ "The Art of Surrender") of control. 3. **Make lifestyle changes.** The strategy for improving our sleep is less about quick fixes and more about [lifestyle changes](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices/ "Healing Practices"). Though technology can be helpful (sleep-tracking apps, Fitbit, etc.), it can also feed the problem. The best solution may be to make small, simple changes to your routine that allow your body to find health naturally. Eating a balanced diet, staying hydrated and getting sufficient exercise are obvious factors in getting good sleep. Finally, you can engage in some simple rituals before bed to help you [prepare for sleep](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-permission-to-sleep/ "Permission to Sleep"). 4. **Reach out.** If, in your self-exploration, you discover that the root causes are a little daunting – be sure to reach for help. Help should be sought for issues such as anxiety, depression, addiction, trauma and persistent relational conflict. A good guiding principle: If you feel you want help, [just ask](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/request/ "Request Information"). Good luck in the journey! [![Lesley Anne Mendonça](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Lesley-Photo-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Lesley-Photo.jpg) **Lesley Anne Mendonça** **M.A., LMFT-Associate, LPC-Intern** **Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, LMFT-S, LPC-S** ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6838-e1631304820220.jpg) Lesley Anne Mendonça Lesley is a Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy. She practices individual, marital and family counseling, and has a background in ministry with adolescents. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) Mental Health Play Therapy Relationships Parenting Family Therapy [ ![social network icon](data:image/svg+xml;base64,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) ](https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesleymendonca/) **Categories:** Lifestyle, Mindfulness Practice, Problem Solving, Self-Care Practices, Sleep Disorders **Tags:** insomnia, sleep, sleeping disorders, technology, work-life balance --- ### [The Five Habits of Assertive People](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/assertiveness/) **Published:** April 7, 2015 **Author:** Lesley Anne Mendonça **Content:** Assertiveness is a term that is widely known, yet often misunderstood. Many think it means to always get one’s way or to be the most powerful person in a room. It is important to distinguish between assertiveness and aggression. In relationships each person has needs, and often our needs can conflict with one another. The question then becomes: How can we best assert our needs in those tense moments? The best way to share needs is through direct communication. Though the temptation may be to become [aggressive](https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200402/assertive-not-aggressive "Aggressive"), manipulative or passive-aggressive. These [less-healthy habits](http://blogs.mutualofomaha.com/articles/2013/09/03/measuring-assertiveness/ "Assertiveness") of communication may let off steam temporarily, however, they slowly deteriorate the quality of the relationship. Aggression often involves emotional communication that can be demeaning, blaming and accusing. Passive-aggression and manipulation both entail undertones of guilting and hurting others by reminding them of their inadequacies. **The Value of Self-Assertion** Assertive people practice communication that is clear, non-emotional and respectful of others. There is no blame or accusation, but rather openness to both speak and listen. Those who are assertive are able to clearly state their needs, yet respond calmly if their needs are not met. Assertiveness also involves offering helpful counter-solutions and not giving up easily when there are bumps in the road. So how can you start to practice [healthy assertion](https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200604/the-right-way-rock-the-boat "The Right Way to Rock the Boat")? By practicing these habits. **How to Build Assertiveness** 1. **Practice self-confidence.** Assertiveness often flows from a place of confidence in one’s own worth and needs. This is not to be confused with aggressiveness or disregard for others. 2. **Tolerate discomfort.** Asserting needs can often be uncomfortable, as it can breed tension or conflict. Tolerating discomfort enables you to move into respectful compromise. 3. **Offer positive solutions.** When needs conflict, morale can often begin to run short. Positive and collaborative solutions go a long way to keep relationships strong. 4. **Respect boundaries.** No matter issue, each person has her own emotional boundaries. A healthy awareness of every person’s inherent “bill of rights” can help navigate conflicting needs. 5. **Practice perseverance.** Taking a time-out when negotiating can be a wonderful solution if [tension runs high](http://amyfullerphd.com/green-light-practice/ "Green Light Practice"). The key is to not give up prematurely! Self-assertion takes courage, resolve and *patience*. Are you curious about where you are on the assertiveness scale? Richard Jaffe, certified professional coactive coach (CPCC) offers a simple [assertiveness self-assessment](http://acoachforchampions.com/Assertiveness_Self.pdf "Assertiveness Assessment"). Good luck in the journey! [![Lesley Anne Mendonça](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Lesley-Photo-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Lesley-Photo.jpg) **Lesley Anne Mendonça** **M.A., LMFT-Associate, LPC-Intern** **Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, LMFT-S, LPC-S** ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6838-e1631304820220.jpg) Lesley Anne Mendonça Lesley is a Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy. She practices individual, marital and family counseling, and has a background in ministry with adolescents. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) Mental Health Play Therapy Relationships Parenting Family Therapy [ ![social network icon](data:image/svg+xml;base64,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) ](https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesleymendonca/) **Categories:** Cognitive Reframing, Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Relationships, Social Skills **Tags:** Assertiveness, emotional regulation, relationships, self-assertion, social skills --- ### [Self-Control: Why Willpower Doesn’t Work](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-control-why-willpower-doesnt-work/) **Published:** April 28, 2015 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** Could it actually be possible to build up our self-control “muscles?” More “staying power” could make a big difference in so many areas. What if we could increase our ability to: - Say “no” to that last piece of pie. - Hold our temper a little longer. - Save some extra money instead of blowing it on the next cool gadget. - Study just a little longer when everyone else is outside having fun. **Why Willpower Comes Up Short** Have you noticed that willpower often comes up short? We tend to over-focus on the things we want to avoid. Here are a few simple examples: - For the next thirty seconds do not think about the imaginary pink elephant sitting in the corner of the room… really… stop thinking about the pink elephant. What happens? We cannot stop thinking about the pink elephant. The more we wrestle with ourselves to stop doing something, the more challenging it is to stop. - What if you decide to go on a diet and a coworker brings a box of gourmet donuts to the office? You work hard to resist the donuts throughout the entire day. However, your willpower is so taxed that you treat yourself to a large combo plate at your favorite Mexican restaurant. What a frustrating experience. - Let’s say that you decide to control your anger. You make a commitment to be kinder to your spouse at the end of each day when you get home from work. Unfortunately, the next workday is full of stressors: your boss yells at you, you miss lunch, and traffic is unbelievably frustrating. Then, you get home, and what happens? The commitment you made to yourself goes out the window and you end up angry with your spouse. This is a common experience for many of us because willpower is limited. We create our goal, shore up our determination, eventually run out of steam, and end up falling short. > “Willpower, for all its merits, is full of holes. Maintaining it requires not only a good deal of effort but also a conducive environment… Seemingly irrelevant factors like being at home versus being at work, or even the need to make simple decisions unrelated to resisting temptation—(‘Should I wear a white shirt or a blue one?’)—can diminish self-control. The result? People whose willpower is taxed fail to resist about one out of every six temptations they face, even when they try using cognitive strategies to manage their ‘hot’ responses. Willpower appears to be quite finite in supply.” ([David Desteno, September 15, 2014, Pacific Standard, The Science of Society](http://www.psmag.com/navigation/health-and-behavior/feeling-control-america-can-finally-learn-deal-impulses-self-regulation-89456/ "feeling-control-america-can-finally-learn-deal-impulses-self-regulation")). **Self-Control** If willpower and self-determination do not work, what does? According to a recent review of lab experiments on self-control, four emotional characteristics were shown to boost our self-control (Desteno, 2014). - [Gratitude](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/happy-thanksgiving-gratitude-builds-self-control/) - [Compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-control-compassion-works/) - [Guilt](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-control-what-do-i-do-with-guilt/) - [Authentic pride](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/celebrate-your-efforts-and-increase-self-control/) > “These emotions— ***[gratitude](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/happy-thanksgiving-gratitude-builds-self-control/ "Gratitude builds self-control"), [compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-control-compassion-works/ "Compassion works"), [authentic pride](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/celebrate-your-efforts-and-increase-self-control/ "Authentic Pride"), and even [guilt](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-control-what-do-i-do-with-guilt/ "What do I do with guilt?")***—work from the bottom up to shape decisions that favor the ***long-term***. If we focus on ***instilling*** the capacity to experience these emotional states regularly, we’ll ***build*** resources that will automatically spring forth in reflexive and productive ways. In essence, we’ll give ourselves inoculations against temptation that, like antibodies in our bloodstream, will be ready and waiting to combat possible threats to our well-being.” ([David Desteno, September 15, 2014, Pacific Standard, The Science of Society](http://www.psmag.com/navigation/health-and-behavior/feeling-control-america-can-finally-learn-deal-impulses-self-regulation-89456/ "feeling-control-america-can-finally-learn-deal-impulses-self-regulation")). **How Can I Cultivate These Emotions?** Over the past few months, Fuller Life has explored self-control and how to cultivate [gratitude](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/happy-thanksgiving-gratitude-builds-self-control/ "Gratitude builds self-control"), [compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-control-compassion-works/ "Compassion Works"), [guilt](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-control-what-do-i-do-with-guilt/ "What do I do with guilt?"), and [authentic pride](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/celebrate-your-efforts-and-increase-self-control/ "Celebrate your efforts"). The articles collected here are full of information and resources. We hope they offer tools to develop perseverance and motivation to meet the important goals of your life. There is no need to take on each of these characteristics all at once. You can choose one at a time to gently implement into your life. On average, it takes [66 days to create a new habit](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-clear/forming-new-habits_b_5104807.html "Forming new habits"). When we slow down and allow ourselves time to create a new habit, the habit is more likely to take shape and become more natural. When you build resources into yourself that increase self-control, you increase your ability to delay gratification. Check out this video about how delayed gratification is one of the greatest predictors of success in all that you do. Fuller Life Family Therapy is here to support and encourage those on their journey toward a fuller life. Desteno, D. (2014) A Feeling of Control: How America Can Finally Learn to Deal With Its Impulses. Pacific Standard, The Science of Society. (http://www.psmag.com/navigation/health-and-behavior/feeling-control-america-can-finally-learn-deal-impulses-self-regulation-89456/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Addiction & Recovery, Cognitive Reframing, Emotional Intelligence, Emotions and Relationships, Self-Care Practices **Tags:** compassion, gratitude, self-control --- ### [Are These 5 Forms of Manipulation in Your Relationship?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4818-2/) **Published:** October 6, 2016 **Author:** Angela Blocker **Content:** **“The measure of a man is what he does with power. ”** *Greek Proverb* Manipulation is a common tool used to one up another in relationship. It helps us get attention, approval, favors, and other things we want through either passive or aggressive acts of coercion. However, it breaks down relationships. Donald Miller, New York Times best-selling author, describes five positions of manipulation that ruin relationships by killing intimacy. > ### “Remember when” “ I always, you never” A person acting as scorekeeper tracks the favors or faults of another to use as leverage later. Sheryl Paul, bestselling author who has made appearances on the Oprah Winfrey Show and Good Morning America, describes scorekeeping as a “me-centered” way of operating. You’re elevating your role in the relationship to a place of superiority. And if you’re “up,” then your partner has only one place to go; “down.” Scorekeeping leads to a “not good enough” mentality. It sets up a game that can only be won by killing the relationship. #### Instead of keeping score, consider Give for the sake of giving. Sheryl Paul describes that giving for the joy of giving makes the relationship run more smoothly. She says, “Giving is the love-juice that lubricates the rough spots and takes the squeak out of the wheels.” > ### “I can’t believe…” > > ### “How could you be so…” > > ### “If only you would….” Everyone develops a sense of what is right and wrong and having strong standards is commendable. However, these phrases invite judgement. A judge is a person who uses his or her morals to lord over others to harbor power and control. When in the wrong, a judge personality has a hard time admitting fault and that can be detrimental in your relationship. #### Instead of judging, consider Be open to and engage the ideas and opinions of others. Admit when you’ve missed it. While it’s true average people do not like to be wrong, they can still take responsibility for mistakes. Try making requests for the things you’d like of another person. > ### “It’s no problem…” > > ### “I’ve always wanted that too…” > > ### “I’ll always be there for you….” On the surface, these phrases sound good. They signify commitment and a desire to set mutual goals. However, they can be the words of a false hero. A false hero is a usurper, who plays on the good nature of people to boldly steal credit in broad daylight. It looks like false promises and lofty claims without hard work or follow through. These individuals have a knack for identifying the wishes and desires of another person; but, then, they present as though they can meet those wishes. Often, these desires are unfulfilled leaving the other person laden with disappointment, regret and loss. #### Instead of rescuing, consider 1. Be honest with yourself and the other person about true desires. Often, creating possibilities and dreaming helps secure temporary stability before real security can be made. 2. Admit admiration you hold for the other and give credit where it is due. Explore how the other person got to the place you admire and ask for help. Keep jealous tendencies in check. 3. Use the knowledge you have of the other person to his or her benefit. One of the benefits of being a visionary is seeing and dreaming of possibilities but it can be a downside when it is impossible or impractical to actualize. A few examples include dreaming of possibilities for advancing business with a boss, discussing elaborate plans for a home with your spouse, or brainstorming vacations with your children –all without true intentions or resources to follow through. Instead, acknowledge the desires of those in relationship with you and admit your limitations. In doing so, you give those around you the benefit of choosing a course that is best for them. Identify The need and consider your willingness to help in a practical way. > ### “It’s your entire fault…” > > ### “You’re not sorry…” > > ### “If you were sorry you would….” They represent the adages of a flopper and tears down the hard work already invested in your relationship. “A flopper is somebody who overdramatizes their victimhood in order to get attention and sympathy,” states Miller. A flopper fakes or dregs up emotional injuries to keep a perceived oppressor indebted and laden with guilt. While it isn’t easy to move forward after experiencing pain, these actions make it difficult to move forward and lead to even more pain. #### Instead of blaming, consider 1. Thinking through situations where you may have placed blame. 2. Acknowledge hurts you may have caused and choose to take responsibility for things you can control. 3. Let go of negative sentiments towards others from past pains. 4. Practice self-compassion and begin a narrative as a person who can work towards solutions for oneself. > ### “I thought you … > > ### loved me/ > > ### were my friend/ > > ### cared about this company.” Fear based manipulation tactics can lead to contempt and hatred and should be kept far away from the bond between you and your spouse. The illusion of strength keeps fear mongers in control. In conversation, they demand total submission in exchange for a false security. Fear mongers are not vulnerable and fear being seen as weak. #### Instead of demanding, consider 1. Accept criticism at face value. Learn to separate the worth of who you are from your flaws. 2. Take the hit. Everyone experiences feelings of inadequacy from time to time. This is especially true when we feel there is something more we or someone else could have done about a situation. Explore the loss you are facing compassionately and with the understanding that everyone errs. 3. Understand the impact of your actions on others. 4. Practice authenticity even when you may feel weak or foolish. It takes great strength to do so. Allowing manipulation into your relationship sabotages intimacy and can wreak havoc on relationships. Manipulation distorts reality by objectifying a person as a pawn rather than a fellow human struggling with life. Approach your relationships authentically, viewing those around you as fellow travelers with you on this journey called life. Fuller Life is here to help you have the authentic relationships you never thought were possible. To learn more about Donald Miller and finding true intimacy, read [Scary Close](https://www.amazon.com/Scary-Close-Dropping-Finding-Intimacy/dp/078521318X). [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Angela-Blocker-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Contributed by [Angela Blocker , M.A, LMFT Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Clinical Supervision by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) References - Propp’s Dramatis Personae. (n.d.). Retrieved October 02, 2016, from http://changingminds.org/disciplines/storytelling/characters/propp\_personae.htm - Roberts, E. (2012). 5 Ways to Escape Your Victim Mentality | Building Self-Esteem – HealthyPlace. Retrieved October 01, 2016, from http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/buildingselfesteem/2012/11/5-ways-to-escape-your-victim-mentality/ ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Angela-Blocker-LMFT-e1631303162413.png) Angela Blocker [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) Mental Health Play Therapy Parenting Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Cognitive Reframing, Communication, Couples, Divorce, Relationships **Tags:** communication skills, manipulation, relationship --- ### [Can Anger Be Your Ally?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/anger/) **Published:** August 14, 2015 **Author:** Lesley Anne Mendonça **Content:** We, as human beings, pursue happiness and joy. We naturally gravitate towards things and people that elicit *positive* emotions. There’s no question that we prefer to experience our positive emotions, and naturally avoid the negative ones. Some might wonder, “Is our goal to reach a point in life when we only experience positive emotions? Or do our negative emotions serve an essential purpose?” The negative emotions, chiefly [anger](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/anger-and-relationships/), keep us alive by having a correctional function. Consider the last time you got angry. Matthew Hutson, author of *Beyond Happiness: [The Upside of Feeling Down](https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201501/beyond-happiness-the-upside-feeling-down),* says “Anger results when we feel undervalued.” Anger is an alert that warns us when something needs to change. Anger can often prompt us to do and say things that we wouldn’t normally do, which leads us to feel as though we are *out of control.* Consequently, most of us develop one of two unhealthy relationships with anger. Either we give anger full control, allowing it to progress into rage and hijack our body and our relationships. Or, as soon as anger shows its face, we’re already beating it back and trying to drown out its voice it with optimistic denial. There is a better, more *balanced,* relationship to be had with anger, however. Once we understand the function of anger, we can more easily hear its message *without* letting it control us. Mindful Management There is a wealth of information on the art of anger management. If you struggle with anger management, mindfulness is a wonderful place to start. Lama Surya Das explains some simple steps to *mindful* anger-management and [intentional responsiveness](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lama-surya-das/anger-management_b_3517683.html). If you want to wade deeper into the water of the mindful anger practice, consider reading Mindful Anger: [A Pathway to Emotional Freedom](http://psychcentral.com/lib/mindful-anger-a-pathway-to-emotional-freedom/) by Andrea Brandt. Listen & Learn Since [anger ](http://www.helpguide.org/articles/emotional-health/anger-management.htm)serves a useful function, it possesses intrinsic value to our daily decision making. Once you’ve learned to manage the initial urgency of anger, practice listening to its present function. Anger is often alerting us that something needs to change: either externally or internally, or both. We can adjust our expectations and grow while also asserting a need for external change. As you listen to the message anger has, remember to remain mindful! Effective Expression When we experience anger, we develop a surplus of energy within our body that needs to be expressed. With all of this mindful management of anger, we still need a constructive outlet for our anger. Make a [list of activities](http://www.prevention.com/mind-body/emotional-health/healthiest-ways-express-anger) you can engage in that appropriately release your angry energy. Exercise is a wonderful way to release a build-up of angry energy. If you’re tight on time, consider just doing ten push-up’s and returning to your day. You can learn to channel built-up energy into your daily tasks, as well. For instance, tearing up a newspaper before you recycle it. Once you’ve physically expressed your anger in a constructive way, you will have more composure and clarity as you take steps to assert yourself. When finding healthy ways to express angry energy, be aware of not allowing it to become harmful to you or anyone else. Read up on [tips for healthy conflict resolution](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joyce-marter-/conscious-relationships_b_4504510.html) to improve how you collaborate with others for change. When anger next appears, remember to work consciously to change your relationship to it. If you are able to see that anger has value and function, you will be able to operate as a more whole-hearted and effective person. Good luck in the journey! [![Lesley Anne Mendonça](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Lesley-Photo-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Lesley-Photo.jpg) **Lesley Anne Mendonça** **M.A., LMFT-Associate, LPC-Intern** **Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, LMFT-S, LPC-S** ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6838-e1631304820220.jpg) Lesley Anne Mendonça Lesley is a Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy. She practices individual, marital and family counseling, and has a background in ministry with adolescents. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) Mental Health Play Therapy Relationships Parenting Family Therapy [ ![social network icon](data:image/svg+xml;base64,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) ](https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesleymendonca/) **Categories:** Anger Management, Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Relationships, Social Skills **Tags:** anger, anger management, conflict resolution, relationships --- ### [Need Creative Solutions? Try This Technique](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/need-creative-solutions-try-this/) **Published:** December 8, 2015 **Author:** Shani Bell **Content:** There has been a rise in the popularity of paint parties and adult coloring books amongst busy adults searching for respite. But engaging in creative activities can also help with problem solving. If you are struggling with a personal or professional challenge, take an art break and turn those thoughts into pictures. That artistic stimulation might help piece together potential solutions to the problem. [Evidence](http://www.artsedsearch.org/out-of-school/research-by-age-level/adult-and-lifelong) shows that artistic expression can promote critical thinking and problem solving skills. Before getting nervous about not living up to Picasso-like ambitions, remember that creating art to work through a challenge is not about crafting a masterpiece. As [Hinz](https://www.routledge.com/products/9780415995856) stated, the point is that, as people “think through the various aspects of a situation and construct images to represent their thoughts and feelings about it, new possibilities often become apparent.” But for those who are still apprehensive about their skill level, an easy and less intimidating artistic way to get those mental juices flowing is by creating a collage: **Step 1:** Grab some magazines, scissors, glue and paper. Piece together images that represent the challenge at-hand and the thoughts and feelings around it. Take time with it. **Step 2:** Now take a step away. Take about five minutes to just look at the image and take it in fully. What stands out? What connections can be made? Is something missing? Can something be added? The reflective distance, or ability to obtain a little separation from an expressive experience in order to reflect and process, plays a key role in problem solving ([Hinz, 2009](https://www.routledge.com/products/9780415995856)). **Step 3:** Write about it. Take some time to [journal](http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-health-benefits-of-journaling/) about the artwork. Write down thoughts, ideas and associations that come naturally. See if any solutions arise from the exercise. Making art surrounding life’s challenges can have many benefits. By taking the time to explore problems in new ways, through art, you are challenged to access new perspectives. This sort of exploration is helpful in forming undiscovered solutions. The artist feels empowered by the ability to tangibly reconstruct the issue at hand through organizing images. What is left is visual evidence of the problem solving process. As an added bonus, the artwork may be revisited at a later time to build upon ideas and work through future challenges. Inner wisdom is one of our most valuable assets. But it can often go untapped due to limited perspective. So instead of feeling stuck and overwhelmed, use the power that lies within to create the solution. If you need help navigating through life’s challenges, Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute is here to help. Learn more about [Art Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/art-therapy/). [![Shani Bell Headshot Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Shani-Bell-Headshot-Fuller-Life-296x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Shani-Bell-Headshot-Fuller-Life.jpg) [Shani Bell, MAAT, LPC-Intern ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shanibell/) Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S and Dr. Sheryl Corbit, EdD, ATR-BC, LPC-AT/S ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Fuller-Life-2018-Shani-Bell-LPC-ATR-copy-1-e1631304334456.jpg) Shani Bell [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) Art Therapy Mindfulness Anxiety **Categories:** Cognitive Reframing, Mental Health, Mindfulness Practice, Problem Solving, Stress Management **Tags:** art, Critical Thinking, mental health, Problem Solving --- ### [The Truth on Multitasking: What Will Doing it All at Once Do to You?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-truth-about-multitasking-what-does-doing-it-all-at-once-really-do-to-you/) **Published:** January 14, 2016 **Author:** Shani Bell **Content:** You’re writing your long list of New Year’s resolutions while checking emails for work while feeding the baby. Then the phone rings… We live in a world of busyness with an abundance of tasks and seemingly little time to do them. New goals may mean even more things to add to the task list adding pressure to pull double or maybe triple duty during your day. We may think that, by attacking several items at once, we are efficiently completing to-do lists in a fraction of the time. However, surprising studies clearly show that dividing your attention among many tasks leaves none done as well as you would like. More importantly, it can wreak havoc on your mind. **Multitasking and Productivity** [Researchers](http://www.forbes.com/sites/travisbradberry/2014/10/08/multitasking-damages-your-brain-and-career-new-studies-suggest/) have discovered that avid multitaskers are less efficient at organizing thoughts, filtering information, and switching to new tasks than those who complete one task at a time. The actions done while multitasking also take longer to complete than if they had been done separately and mindfully. This means that, rather than improving productivity as intended, productivity is actually being *reduced* when taking on multiple projects. [Studies](http://www.smh.com.au/digital-life/digital-life-news/multitasking-makes-you-stupid-studies-find-20150520-gh5ouq.html) have even found that a person’s IQ drops significantly during multitasking. The effects are similar to sleep deprivation or marijuana use! **Multitasking and Mental Health** Multitasking not only affects the outcome of projects, but also the mental health of the person. [Dr. Irwin](http://www.multitaskingtest.net.au/the-science/impacts-of-multi-tasking) of Macquarie University in Australia noted that people who worked on more than one assignment at a time were less able to find satisfaction in completing them. Stress also increased with multitasking. The prefrontal cortex, an area of the brain responsible for functions needed for multitasking, such as prioritizing, is susceptible to the effects of prolonged stress. This may relate to a study by Psychologist, [Dr. Mark Becker](http://psychcentral.com/news/2012/12/05/media-multitasking-tied-to-anxiety-depression/48622.html), who found a preliminary connection between media multitasking, depression, and anxiety. **Multitasking and Relationships** And what about the effects of our multi-tasking behaviors on our relationships? When we spend time checking social media and work-related tasks on our devices during quality time with loved ones, we may actually be checking out of our relationships. [For parents](https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/201405/are-you-present-your-children?collection=150111) of young children, having eyes on devices rather than responding to their children with focused attention and eye contact can leave their kids lacking a sense of attachment, self-esteem, and social skills. In relationships in general, it is difficult to foster intimacy and connection without key components like eye contact and focused attention. Over time, relationships with too many distractions begin to suffer. **Help for Multitaskers** Not convinced? If you still think you’re a successful multi-tasker who’s an exception to the rule, try this [test](https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/creativity-without-borders/201405/the-myth-multitasking). Now that you know the adverse effects of multitasking, try these pointers to improve your productivity while staying focused: - **Instead of multitasking, try serial tasking**. Complete a singular task fully and thoroughly before you begin another. - [**Notice your experience**](http://www.shambhala.com/the-mindfulness-prescription-for-adult-adhd.html)**.** When thoughts go astray from the project at hand, bring them back to the present moment by taking a deep breath and bringing awareness to the experience of completing what is in front of you. Pay attention to your senses, emotions, and thoughts about the project. You might even try writing a grounding message on a sticky note related to the project such as, “WRITE” or “COME BACK” to remind you to stay present. Mindfulness is a skill that takes time to build. So have patience with yourself and keep practicing. - [**Take structured breaks**](http://www.shambhala.com/the-mindfulness-prescription-for-adult-adhd.html)**.** Allow yourself a distraction for a specified amount of time at regular intervals during your task. But make sure to stay disciplined and adhere to the time limits that you set. This will reduce the tendency for your mind to wander involuntarily. - [**Make eye contact**](https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/intimacy-path-toward-spirituality/201403/in-your-eyes)**.** If quality time with a friend or loved one is the task at hand, what better way is there to focus than with your eyes? Commit to putting devices away so that you can fully experience the person you are with. Eye contact helps to show others that you value and appreciate them. Where the eyes go, the mind will follow. - **If you must multitask, do it effectively.** Here’s the catch: Not [ALL multitasking is not bad](https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/how-we-work/201501/when-multitasking-is-good-thing). Certain activities can be done together with great results. The trick is to couple activities that do not require the same areas of the brain. For instance, jogging while listening to an audio book for class or sending an email on the bus ride to work. Armed with the knowledge of the risks of multitasking, head into the New Year living life more fully and effectively. Foster a lifestyle of present awareness and focused activity and note how your mental health, productivity and relationships change in 2016. If you would like to explore more ways to live a more well-balanced life, contact us at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute. We are here to help. [![Shani Bell Headshot Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Shani-Bell-Headshot-Fuller-Life-296x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Shani-Bell-Headshot-Fuller-Life.jpg) [Shani Bell, MAAT, LPC-Intern](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shanibell/) Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S and Dr. Sheryl Corbit, EdD, ATR-BC, LPC-AT/S ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Fuller-Life-2018-Shani-Bell-LPC-ATR-copy-1-e1631304334456.jpg) Shani Bell [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) Art Therapy Mindfulness Anxiety **Categories:** Mindfulness Practice, Self-Care Practices, Stress Management, The Human Brain, Time Management **Tags:** Self-Care Practice, stress, stress management, time management --- ### [The Real Reason Why Children with ADHD Need Structure and Play](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4532-2/) **Published:** May 31, 2016 **Author:** Angela Blocker **Content:** “Your child has ADD? Follow a Routine!” How often have parents of children with ADD heard this message? One of the crucial steps in helping a child manage ADD is implementing structure that can be followed consistently. But how much is too much? Schedules have proven to be effective but often at the cost of natural free play. How can parents balance structure and play for their kids? ### Why Is Structure Important? Structure has many purposes for children – including helping a child’s brain develop. [Karen Spangenberg](https://www.psychologytoday.com/experts/karen-spangenberg-postal-phd-abpp), neuropsychologist and author, explains that adults lend their ability to regulate to their children when providing structure. The prefrontal cortex or the part of the brain that is crucial to decision making, judgment, attention span and impulse control and other [executive functioning ](http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/8392.html)processes, is underdeveloped in children. “External structures can assist a child’s brain to learn more efficiently, as if they possessed a more mature frontal system,” states Spangenberg. Structures like morning and bedroom routines and homework planners have been proven to be incredibly effective in the development of kids, especially those with attention disorders. It becomes even MORE effective when children are taught to hold themselves responsible for their routines. In providing structure, adults are teaching their children to self-regulate. ### Has Play Lost Its Significance? Maybe. Between school, after school activities and community activities, it is easy for free play to be limited or even eliminated from children outside of recess at school. “Children are less free than they have ever been before,” states [Peter Gray](http://www.bc.edu/schools/cas/psych/people/affiliated/gray.html), Professor Emeritus of Psychology at Boston College and author of *Free to Learn*. He attributes the increasing demands of early education and structured extracurricular activities as possible reasons for this change. This is especially true of children with attention disorders. [Researchers](http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2242642/#b16-ccap16_2p057) have found that even during free-play periods, preschoolers with ADHD engage in less social, more solitary play than other children. [Dr. Jaak Panskepp](http://ipn.vetmed.wsu.edu/people/faculty-ipn/panksepp-j), neuroscientist and psychologist at Washington State University, supposes it may be due to medication. In some cases, psychomotor stimulants have been linked to the reduction of play urges. Don’t go throwing out the Vyvanse and the Adderall though. Panskepp does not doubt the role of temperament in diagnosis of ADHD and views stimulants as an effective way to reduce impulsive behaviors. He believes possibly even a preventative tool. “I think it is one of the most important things that children need to grow up well, perhaps even reduce the number of kids diagnosed with ADHD,” he says. Unstructured play is also important for brain development and crucial to learning socialization skills like negotiating, creating alliances, and testing boundaries of fairness. **Instead of Battle, Think Relationship** All children, especially those with attention disorders, need time for play. This free-play time has a surprising effect on structure. Studies show children are more attentive after spending time in play. It actually helps to *reinforce* the structure. The Finnish Educational system capitalized on this relationship and these schools have skyrocketed to become some of the best in the Western World. Both structure and play activate parts of the brain promoting prosocial development and executive functioning skills. Parents and caregivers with an informed understanding of both are encouraging the development of the two areas children with ADD have a more difficult time with. For more information about the Finnish School System or about incorporating structure and play into your child’s life, check the links below. FullerLife is here to help you bring balance to life’s battles. [How to Encourage Free Play](http://www.scholastic.com/parents/resources/article/parent-child/how-to-encourage-free-play) [Reliable Routines for Children with ADHD](http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/683.html) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Angela-Blocker-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Contributed by [Angela Blocker , M.A, LMFT Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Clinical Supervision by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) References Alessandri, S. M. (1992). Attention, play, and social behavior in ADHD preschoolers. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology J Abnormal Child Psychology, 20(3), 289-302. doi:10.1007/bf00916693 Anderson, J. (2016, March 08). What’s causing ADHD to skyrocket in kids? Retrieved March 26, 2016, from Badt, K. (2013, July). Let Your Child Play: The Answer to ADHD and More, According to Scientists. Retrieved April 28, 2016, from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/karin-badt/let-your-child-play-the-a\_b\_3623056.html Gray, P. (2014, September 6). Playing with Children: Should You, and If So, How? Retrieved March 26, 2016, from Hubbard J., & Newcomb, A. (1991) Initial dyadic peer interaction of attention deficit-hyperactivity disorder and normal boys. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology. 19, 179–195. Panksepp, J., Siviy, S., & Normansell, L. (1984). The psychobiology of play: theoretical and methodological perspectives. *Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews*, *8*(4), 465-492. Panksepp, J. (2007, May). Can PLAY Diminish ADHD and Facilitate the Construction of the Social Brain? Retrieved April 28, 2016, from http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2242642/ Spangenberg Postal, K. (2011, April 11). How Structure Improves Your Child’s Brain. Retrieved April 28, 2016, from ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Angela-Blocker-LMFT-e1631303162413.png) Angela Blocker [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) Mental Health Play Therapy Parenting Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** ADD-ADHD, Adolescents & Children, Parenting, Parenting, Play Therapy, The Human Brain **Tags:** ADD/ADHD, Attention disorders, child development, children, parenting --- ### [Mindful Movement: The Cutting Edge of Exercise and Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-movement-exercise-mental-health/) **Published:** April 12, 2016 **Author:** Angela Blocker **Content:** ## Have you heard about Mindful Movement? Mindful walking, running, swimming, biking, hiking and even [pole dancing](http://www.mindful.org/mindfulness-on-the-pole/) all exist. [Jon Kabat-Zinn](http://www.umassmed.edu/cfm/about-us/people/2-meet-our-faculty/kabat-zinn-profile/) is the Founder and Executive Director of the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society. He is also a leader of mindfulness research, and has even trained the US Men’s Olympic Rowing Team in mindfulness exercises. Some of whom even went on to win gold medals! Mindful exercises exist for the purpose of improving physical well-being and also mental health. [Dr. Dilip Jeste](http://jeste.ucsd.edu/), former president of the American Psychiatry Association and Distinguished Professor of Psychiatry and Neuroscience, and colleague [Dr. Helen Lavretsky](https://www.semel.ucla.edu/profile/helen-lavretsky) at UCLA, have done extensive research. They have demonstrated the positive impact of mindfulness exercises on medical conditions such as hypertension, cardiovascular disease, insulin resistance, depression and anxiety disorders. ## **Can you just move and be mindful of it?** Dr. Dilip Jeste, defined mindful exercise as “physical exercise executed with a profound inwardly directed contemplative focus.” Mindful exercise combines the core principles mindfulness with mild to moderate physical exercise. Helen Lavretsky expanded this definition stating that mindful exercise consists of [five elements](http://blog.oup.com/2013/05/mindful-exercise-cam-mental-health/): 1. A non-judgmental and non-competitive attitude. The goal here is not to try to prevent judgements. Jon Kabat-Zinn, explains, “It brings awareness to how judgmental we actually are.” Be gentle with yourself 2. A focus on the movement of your body’s muscles and their position in and through space. 3. Centered breathing. Breathe deeply from your abdomen. Place a hand on your chest and one on your stomach. Breathe in and observe which hand rises with the breath. Try to raise the hand on your belly. Notice the breath in your body and the rhythm of your inhale and exhale. 4. An intentional focus on correct physical form and body alignment, specifically the spine, the trunk, and the pelvis. Proper body positioning when exercising helps keep the mind and the body focused. 5. An awareness of the energy generating body movement. Pay attention to the strength needed to exert each movement. Our bodies have become incredibly skilled to lift, stretch and bend. Concentrate on the work needed to complete each move. Dr. Gary Foster, founder of Living Well and international speaker, suggests several [things to ](http://www.livingwell.org.au/mindfulness-exercises-3)[avoid](http://www.livingwell.org.au/mindfulness-exercises-3) when practicing mindfulness. ## **What mindful exercise is NOT** 1. Losing yourself in your thoughts and feelings. While it is normal to have a thought or two enter your mind, try not to focus on them. Observe the thoughts or emotions and let them come and go like waves. Avoid daydreaming. 2. Lunch, laundry and deadlines. Focus on the present moment and not your to-do’s for the rest of the day. 3. Disregarding the pain. As you exercise, pay attention the subtle tension and possible discomfort coming from a body that is becoming healthier. Avoid movements that cause pain. 4. This is a big “no-no”. If you catch yourself becoming concerned about your time, pace, distance, or number of repetitions in a manner that causes you to lose perspective of yourself and the world —you aren’t practicing mindfulness. Rather, allow yourself to enjoy the exercise. ### **Maybe mindful pole dancing isn’t exactly your thing.** Mindfulness is a valuable skill gained through practice. The easiest way to practice is to incorporate it into activities you engage in regularly. Check out the following links to add mindfulness to a physical activity you may currently . - [Mind Over Matter Over Pedal: 5 Ways to do Daily Bike Meditation](http://www.bikenyc.org/blog/bike-meditation-mindfulness-nyc) - [The Art of Mindful Cycling with Dr. Ben Irvine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Smz4WtjVaY) - [Take a Mindful Hike: 7 steps to Quieting the Mind During a Walk in the Woods](http://www.beliefnet.com/Wellness/2004/09/Take-A-Mindful-Hike.aspx) - [Mindful Swimming](http://www.mindful.org/mindful-swimming/) - [Walking Mindfulness](http://www.livingwell.org.au/mindfulness-exercises-3/4-walking-mindfulness/) - [How to Turn Your Run into a Mindful Meditation](http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-15332/how-to-turn-your-run-into-a-mindful-meditation.html) - [Meditation in Action: How to Turn Running into a Mindfulness Practice](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/22/meditation-in-action-running-mindfulness_n_3625110.html)[FullerLife](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/profile.php) Fuller Life is here to help you live a more mindful life. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Angela-Blocker-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Contributed by [Angela Blocker , M.A, LMFT Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Clinical Supervision by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) References - Alidina, S., & Hickman, S. D. (2010). Mindfulness for dummies. Chichester, West Sussex, Eng.: John Wiley & Sons. - Foster, G. (2015). Mindfulness exercises | Living Well. Retrieved March 15, 2016, from http://www.livingwell.org.au/mindfulness-exercises-3 - Kabat-Zinn, J. (2003). Mindfulness-Based Interventions in Context: Past, Present, and Future. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 10(2), 144-156. - Lavretsky, H. (2013, May 19). Mindful exercise and mental health | OUPblog. Retrieved March 15, 2016, from http://blog.oup.com/2013/05/mindful-exercise-cam-mental-health/#sthash.rz8yKPph.dpuf ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Angela-Blocker-LMFT-e1631303162413.png) Angela Blocker [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) Mental Health Play Therapy Parenting Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Breath Work, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Awareness, Self-Care Practices **Tags:** mindfulness practice, physical health, Self-Care Practice --- ### [Chocolate Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/chocolate-therapy/) **Published:** July 26, 2012 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** “Wake Up” by Kabir > Do you have a body? Don’t sit on the porch! > Go out and walk in the rain! > If you are in love, > then why are you asleep? > Wake up, wake up! > You have slept millions and millions of years. > Why not wake up this morning? Life is happening all around us. At times, it can feel frantic and overwhelming. We may find ourselves rushing from one activity to the next attempting to do seven things at once. Our minds keep running when we lay down at night, continually churning, keeping us from a restful night’s sleep. After a while, it all feels meaningless. It’s time to get up and face another hectic day. If this sounds familiar, then this blog is for you. Grab a piece of chocolate and keep reading. Here is the good news: Current research is growing about the benefits of a practice called “mindfulness.” “Mindfulness is purposefully paying attention, in the present moment and without judgment.” [(Kabat-Zinn, 2005)](http://www.eomega.org/workshops/teachers/jon-kabat-zinn?content=PPC&source=1G.SEF.KBZNJ.bio&gclid=CJSz7fnQ5bECFQoFnQod8i4AuA) The practice of mindfulness has been shown to calm the mind, improve memory, and bring about clarity. It has also been shown to reduce symptoms in those suffering from chronic pain, depression, anxiety, and mood disorders. When we wake up to the present moment, we are able to renew our zest for life and enhance our relationships. In the book [Mindfulness, Mark Williams and Danny Penman](http://franticworld.com/) discuss the benefits of a mindfulness practice. Mindfulness can be practiced anywhere and for any length of time. Williams and Penman share exercises ranging from 1 to 3 minutes, or 20 to 30 minutes, so it can become a part of one’s daily routine no matter how much (or how little) time you have. The most important point is to realize that our minds tend to wander, so we gently bring our mind back to the present. Keep coming back to the present, over and over again. One of my personal favorite exercises is their Chocolate meditation. (If you do not like chocolate, try it with another pleasurable substitute.) > The Chocolate meditation > > Choose some chocolate, either a type that you have never tried before or one that you have not eaten recently. It might be dark, milk, organic, fair-trade, or whatever you choose. The important thing is to choose a type you would not normally eat or that you consume only rarely. > > • Open the packet. Inhale the aroma. Let it sweep over you. > • Break off a piece and look at it. Really let your eyes take in what it looks like, examining every nook and cranny. > • Pop it in your mouth. See if it is possible to hold it on your tongue and let it melt, noticing any tendency to suck at it. Chocolate has over three hundred flavors. See if you can sense some of them. > • If you notice your mind wandering while you do this, simply notice where it went, and then gently escort it back to the present moment. > • After the chocolate has melted, swallow it very slowly and deliberately. Let it trickle down your throat. > • Repeat this with the next bite. > • How do you feel? Is it different from normal? Did the chocolate taste better than if you’d just eaten it at a normal breakneck pace? (Williams & Penman, 2011) If you seek a place to calm your racing mind, or a place where you learn compassion for yourself, please contact Fuller Life Family Therapy. We want to work together with you to wake up to a fuller experience of living each moment in the present. Bly, Robert, (1977). The Kabir Book. [Kabat-Zinn, Jon (2005). Wherever You Go, There You Are: A Mindfulness Meditation in Every Day Life.](http://www.amazon.com/Wherever-You-There-Are-ROUGH/dp/1401307787/ref=sr_1_6?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1343337202&sr=1-6&keywords=jon-kabat-zinn) [Williams, Mark & Penman, Danny. (2011). Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World.](http://franticworld.com/blog/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Jennifer Christian, MA, LPC Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Anxiety & Panic, Counseling, Depression, Gratitude, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Care Practices, Sticky **Tags:** acceptance, anxiety, compassion, depression, mindfulness, self-care --- ### [7 Mistakes You Make in Your Discomfort Zone that Limit Your Growth and How to Stop Making Them](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/7-mistakes-discomfort-zone-costing-growth/) **Published:** June 30, 2016 **Author:** Angela Blocker **Content:** If you were polled about your favorite thing to do, chances are you would not say discomfort. Why? It’s no surprise that human nature is to seek pleasure and avoid pain. The trouble is true pleasure is not devoid of pain and all the meaningful good stuff happens outside your comfort zone. Michael Hyatt, New York Times bestselling author, professional career coach and former CEO of Thomas Nelson publishing company, discusses with colleague Stu Mclaren seven things preventing growth in the discomfort zone and how to overcome them. ## 1. Not knowing the value of discomfort. Understand that the discomfort leads to growth. Relationship expert Dr. David Schnarch developed a growth cycle diagram(below) that includes periods of comfort and anxiety. Remaining in the comfort cycle inevitably leads to boredom. Humans thrive when there is novelty and challenge. ## 2. Leaning away from anxiety. Natural instinct is to retreat. [Melanie Greenberg](https://www.psychologytoday.com/experts/melanie-greenberg-phd) describes how our brains naturally dislike unpredictability, change and uncertainty. However, over time these feelings of uncertainty become less threatening. Train your brain to value change by putting yourself in situations with an appropriate level of risk. ## 3. Running from fear. This is sometimes something that happens unconsciously to us, and we go with the drift of the fear instead of just mindfully noticing it. Feel the urge to retreat and the thoughts corresponding with the feeling. Instead of running from it, become aware of it and go with it. Allow the fear. ## 4. Overthinking it. The late [Susan Nolen-Hoeksema](http://news.yale.edu/2013/01/07/memoriam-susan-nolen-hoeksema), former chair of psychology at Yale University, performed extensive research showing that overthinking leads people to remain fixated on the problems and on their feelings about them without taking action. ## 5. Giving half-heartedly. Imagine you are going into a cold swimming pool. Michael Hyatt explains putting one toe in at a time is only prolonging the agony. New York Time bestselling author [H. Jackson Brown Jr](https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/33394.H_Jackson_Brown_Jr_). said, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” Take the plunge. ## 6. Minimizing the victory. Studies show you are more likely to repeat a behavior if you are rewarded. Rewards release dopamine your brain’s internal feel good chemical which serves to [reinforce behavior](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4456-2/). Celebrate your hard work. ## 7. Rushing to the next thing. Actively taking time to pause and reflect on the challenge and success of your experience gives it meaning and becomes an experiential well to draw from for future anxiety provoking events. Journaling is a great way to reflect. The result: Growth with confidence as a byproduct. Stuck in a rut? [Test](http://www.whatismycomfortzone.com/) your current level of comfort. Fuller Life is here to help you embrace the discomfort in your life as an avenue for growth. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSnZMriSs7g [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Angela-Blocker-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Contributed by [Angela Blocker , M.A, LMFT Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Clinical Supervision by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Angela-Blocker-LMFT-e1631303162413.png) Angela Blocker [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) Mental Health Play Therapy Parenting Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Anxiety & Panic, Counseling, Emotional Intelligence, Mental Health, Problem Solving **Tags:** acceptance, anxiety, mental health, panic, Problem Solving --- ### [Seven Reasons to Get Help For Your Marriage before it's too late](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/marriagehelp-marriage-therapy/) **Published:** March 26, 2012 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** If you have real concerns about the health of your marriage, here are 7 reasons to begin [Marriage therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/) NOW! ### 1. **If you haven’t been able to improve the relationship on your own, it’s time to try something different.** Some people describe insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. If you’ve tried to change your relationship in many different ways, but keep getting stuck in the same mess, then it’s time to reach out for help from a professional Marriage Therapist. Relationship counseling works best with both people involved, but even individual therapy can change the nature of a relationship. ### 2. **If your relationship needs professional help, now is better than later.** So often couples present for marriage therapy about five years too late. Then the call to a marriage professional is the direct result of one person dropping the “D” word or there’s been an affair. Just like a garden that is not tended will grow out of control or die, a relationship that is not nurtured and cared for properly will most likely deteriorate. Marriages do not take care of themselves. If they are taken for granted or ignored, weeds grow and hurt abounds. Seek help before the weeds take over your relationship garden. ### 3. **You always call a doctor before beginning a new exercise regimen.** Growing and maintaining a healthy relationship is like staying healthy physically. If you want to have a healthy body, then directed and purposeful effort is required to get into and stay in shape physically. Relationships are the same. They must be nurtured, fed and maintained in order to grow. If your marriage is out of shape, seek a marriage expert to help you bring it back to health. Hoping things will get better is not the same as improving them. ### 4. **Take advantage of the current crisis to achieve the change you desire.** Going to therapy is an excellent way to transform a current struggle into a new and better relationship. You may have heard that sometimes you take two steps back and one step forward. However, a new step in the right direction can change the dance altogether and for the long run. Once the crisis has passed, couples are less likely to take the brave plunge into counseling, even though the underlying issues are most often not resolved. ### 5. **Ignoring problems does not make them go away.** Sometimes people fear being open about negative feelings will cause irreparable damage to the relationship. But how does hiding true feelings about valid concerns help the marriage? There’s a chance these hurts will resolve in time, but at what cost? When it comes to close relationships, open closeness always feels better in the long run. ***With love, healing is always possible!*** ### 6. **It’s easier to ride a tricycle than a bicycle.** Tough negative feelings can sometimes add instability to an already strained relationship. A two-wheeled bicycle is not stable if one hasn’t learned how to ride well. Adding a marriage professional to the experience provides a stable third wheel so the couple can learn to navigate difficult issues without too much bruising. ### 7. **Therapy is cheaper than divorce!** If you talk to anyone who’s been through a divorce the cost is much greater than the decree’s bottom line. Ending what was hoped to last a lifetime hurts on so many levels. If something in you says your relationship may not last, please do yourself (and your family) a favor and seek help from a marriage and family therapist today! [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/2040fd8-150x150.jpg "Therapist Family Counseling Marriage Counseling")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/2040fd8.jpg)[DR. AMY FULLER, LMFT, LPC](http://amyfullerphd.com/) Clinical Director at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/6d17399acfd9b615dcc0b9c59c57e5ae8935bb0c93952030fbf48b72220e0445?s=300&r=g) Amy Fuller PhD Clinical Director Dr. Amy Fuller is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and professional counselor with over two decades of experience specializing in sex therapy, couples therapy, and trauma. She earned her master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Abilene Christian University and her PhD from St. Mary’s University. Dr. Fuller is the founder and Clinical Director of Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, a nonprofit in Houston committed to providing affordable mental health care and advanced therapist training. She is an AASECT-certified sex therapist and supervisor, known for her compassionate and evidence-based approach. Dr. Fuller serves as the Specialization Director for Sex Therapy and Trauma in the Doctor of Professional Counseling program at Kairos University, where she mentors emerging clinicians. With a passion for making therapy accessible and equipping therapists for meaningful, lasting work, Dr. Fuller integrates clinical excellence, spirituality, and cultural responsiveness into every aspect of her practice. [See Full Bio](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) [ ](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) Couples Therapy Healing Trauma Sex Therapy Mental Health Family Therapy EMDR Relationships Mindfulness [ ![social network 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](https://www.linkedin.com/in/amyfullerphd/) **Categories:** Counseling, Couples, Divorce, Family Therapy, Marriage, Relationships **Tags:** counseling for couples, Marriage therapy, relationships --- ### [Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate, Part 1](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/building-relationships/) **Published:** August 30, 2012 **Author:** Scott Rampy **Content:** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/31340371_28530368_trimmed.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/31340371_28530368_trimmed.jpg)When presenting for therapy, one of the most common items couples struggle with is communication. The inability to communicate leads to all sorts of misunderstandings, failures to resolve problems and cycles that build up to create significant dissatisfaction with the relationship. Fisher and Brown, of the Harvard Negotiation Project present some fundamental elements of communicating and problem solving in their book *Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate*. This book is the sequel to the bestseller *Getting to Yes.* Although not writing from a therapy background, their work on communication is consistent with what we share with our clients at Fuller Life. Over the next few posts I will try to summarize the contents of their very helpful work. Part 1 presents an overview of their strategy, including the six basic elements of a good working relationship. In order to get the relationship *we want*, the relationship must have what it *needs* – the ability to overcome differences. The ability to deal with differences depends on (1) a balance of emotion and reason, (2) understanding, (3) good communication, (4) reliability, (5) persuasion, not coercion, and (6) mutual acceptance. A first step in developing this ability is to become aware of the difference between “process” and “substance.” For example, substance is similar to a class one might take in school (geometry, world history, etc.). Process is the method used in teaching the class (lecture, discussion, group projects, etc.). The authors suggest that people have a tendency to focus on what they want (substance) and not on how to get it (process). In relationships, a couple that encounters a difference in choosing a restaurant might tend to focus on their own goal (one wants Tex-Mex and the other wants BBQ) and neglect the process of resolving the difference (yelling, arguing, threatening, etc.). When conflict arises, prioritizing substantive goals (getting what I want) over process (the way we overcome conflict) is a shortsighted strategy that damages the relationship. The strategy Fisher and Brown promote is based **on a commitment to be unconditionally constructive.** “Do only those things that are both good for the relationship and good for us, whether or not they reciprocate” (38). Regardless of what the other person does or does not do, a good relationship partner needs to make a commitment to be unconditionally constructive. Look for our upcoming posts on the six basic elements of a good working relationship! It is our desire at Fuller Life Family Therapy to walk alongside couples as they navigate through relationship misunderstandings and miscommunications. Please contact us if you would like information about our pre-marital and couple’s counseling. If you like this article, please like us on Facebook and pass it on to other couples! [Fisher, Roger, and Scott Brown. *Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate*. New York: Penguin Books, 1988.](http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Together-Building-Relationships-Negotiate/dp/0140126384) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Scott-Rampy-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Scott-Rampy.jpg)[Scott Rampy, M.MFT, LMFTA](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/scott-rampy/) Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6829-e1631305127874.jpg) Scott Rampy [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) Mental Health Family Therapy Relationships Divorce, Separation, Blended Families **Categories:** Communication, Couples, Marriage, Relationships **Tags:** counseling for couples, couples, marriage, Marriage therapy, relationships --- ### [Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate: Part 2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/building-relationships-as-we-negotiate/) **Published:** October 11, 2012 **Author:** Scott Rampy **Content:** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Couple-communicates-261x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Couple-communicates.jpg)One of the most common items couples struggle with is communication. The inability to communicate leads to all sorts of misunderstandings, failures to resolve problems and cycles that build up to create significant dissatisfaction with the relationship. Fisher and Brown, of the Harvard Negotiation Project present some fundamental elements of communicating and problem solving in their book *Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate*. This book is the sequel to the bestseller *Getting to Yes.* Although not writing from a therapy background, their work on communication is consistent with what we share with our clients at Fuller Life. This post is the second in our series on *Getting Together*. Our first post introduced the six elements of a good working relationship as well as the attitude over all of them: “Do only those things that are both good for the relationship and good for us, whether or not they reciprocate” (38). These six elements are based on **a commitment to be unconditionally constructive.** Now we will look a bit closer at the first two of the six. **1. Rationality: Balance emotions with reason.** Communication suffers when emotion and reason are not in proper balance. When emotion overrides the system it affects our judgment. On the other hand, emphasizing the rational side too much may leave one out of touch with the other’s interests, desires, and motivations. Both too much emotion AND too much rationality impair empathy. Each, in the proper balance, has very important benefits to communication and problem solving. Emotions can give us motivation and insight into ourselves and the other. Logical thinking can help us make an informed, calculated decision. Data can help us overcome untested assumptions and help us choose the best course of action. Fisher and Brown suggest a few strategies for achieving this balance: 1\. Develop an awareness of emotions – ours and theirs. 2\. Don’t react emotionally – take charge of our behavior. 3\. Acknowledge emotions – rather than attempt to stifle them. 4\. Prepare for emotions before they arise. **2. Understanding: Learn how they see things.** It is difficult to work through problems together without understanding the other’s perspective – their view of the problem, their working assumptions, concerns, values, or their suggestions for solution. The better we understand the other’s perspective, even if we don not agree with it, the better we will be able to work together. Fisher and Brown even suggest **We cannot solve differences without understanding them.** Oftentimes we are not even aware of what we do not know or do not understand. We may be fearful of learning we are wrong. Or, we may not know how to begin learning the other’s point of view. Fortunately, we can do something about each of these barriers. We can **Explore their thinking – we may not know how little we know.** 1. Always assume a need to learn more. 2. Start by asking, “What do they care about?” What are their interests? Perceptions? Values? 3. Do not be afraid to learn something new. 4. Be open to new information. 5. Use tools to break into their world. Learn their story. Reverse roles. Use a third party. What do you think? How have you been able to balance emotion and reason when problem-solving in your relationships? What tools have you used to understand someone else’s perspective? Share a story with us of overcoming barriers to understanding and problem-solving. It is our desire at Fuller Life Family Therapy to walk alongside couples as they navigate through relationship misunderstandings and miscommunications. Please contact us if you would like information about our pre-marital and couple’s counseling. If you like this article, please like us on Facebook and pass it on to other couples! Fisher, Roger, and Scott Brown. *Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate*. New York: Penguin Books, 1988. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Scott-Rampy-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Scott-Rampy.jpg)[Scott Rampy, M.MFT, LMFTA](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/scott-rampy/) Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6829-e1631305127874.jpg) Scott Rampy [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) Mental Health Family Therapy Relationships Divorce, Separation, Blended Families **Categories:** Communication, Couples, Emotions and Relationships, Empathy, Relationships **Tags:** Communication, couples, emotions, Empathy, relationships --- ### [Befriending Anxiety](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/befriending-anxiety/) **Published:** May 30, 2013 **Author:** Scott Rampy **Content:** The world would be quite a dangerous place without pain. It may seem odd but imagine the potential damage if a person did not have an instinctive, natural response when something was causing them harm. When someone accidentally places a hand on a hot stove their brain receives a near instantaneous response that this is causing them harm. They automatically jerk their hand away and prevent a more harmful burn. While pain is something we naturally want to avoid, it is a good and necessary part of life. We are wise to listen to what it communicates to us. This is the same approach that Susan Orsillo and Lizabeth Roemer apply to anxiety and our [![Anxiety Brain](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Anxiety-Brain-300x239.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Anxiety-Brain.jpg)emotional experiences in their excellent book [*The Mindful Way Through Anxiety*](http://mindfulwaythroughanxietybook.com "http://mindfulwaythroughanxietybook.com")[.](http://mindfulwaythroughanxietybook.com "http://mindfulwaythroughanxietybook.com") Unwanted emotion like anxiety is the mind’s way of communicating that something in one’s life is out of sorts. It is an alarm that something needs to be corrected. Unlike with physical pain, however, people do not come equipped with an automatic response to correct the problem. Sometimes it isn’t even clear what the source of the pain is. Just as it is harmful to attempt to ignore the communication of pain from a hand on a stove, Orsillo and Roemer suggest it is likewise harmful not to attend to our emotions. Yet, in an effort to remove the emotional discomfort, people often devise various ways of distracting and ignoring. What if instead, one was to turn attention toward painful emotion? Orsillo and Roemer advocate developing *“an accepting and mindful stance toward emotions and be\[ing\] willing to experience the full range of emotions that arise when you fully participate in life.”* This perspective opposes the two common beliefs that humans are able to eliminate negative emotions from their lives and that doing so will lead to a happier, fuller life. Rather, *“humans are hard-wired to feel anxious when in a threatening situation. No amount of self-control and determination can override that natural response.”* The struggle to escape by controlling anxiety tends to, like a person caught in quicksand, only suck one down further into its grip. Mindfulness is one way of cultivating a friendly, curious, and compassionate response toward anxiety and other emotional experiences allowing them to serve their natural purpose. [![http://mindfulwaythroughanxietybook.com](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/51uHIluh91L._BO2204203200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-clickTopRight35-76_AA300_SH20_OU01_-150x150.jpg)](http://mindfulwaythroughanxietybook.com)To find out more about this book, check out their website [mindfulwaythroughanxietybook.com](http://mindfulwaythroughanxietybook.com/) or the book’s [Amazon page](http://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Way-through-Anxiety-Chronic/dp/1606234641). For more from Fuller Life Family Therapy on dealing with anxiety try [“Create Balance: Living Well in the Midst of Anxiety”](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/live-well-anxiety/) or [“Creating Happiness.”](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/creating-happiness/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6829-e1631305127874.jpg) Scott Rampy [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) Mental Health Family Therapy Relationships Divorce, Separation, Blended Families **Categories:** Anxiety & Panic, Anxiety Issues, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Care Practices **Tags:** anxiety, emotional intelligence, emotions, self-care, stress management --- ### [Courage to Face Our Fears](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/courage-to-face-our-fears/) **Published:** August 13, 2013 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** **[![Courage](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Courage.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Courage.jpg)Courage** We all have fears. Many of us have experienced times when we feel stuck because we are afraid; scared to take a test, go to the doctor, share our worries, get a shot, make a certain phone call, go on that job interview, \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ (fill in the blank). The good news is that we can use tools that foster resilience and help us face our fears. These are acts of courage. [Courage](http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/courage "Courage"), as defined by *Webster’s Dictionary*, is “the mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.” Courage does not imply doing something without fear. > “After interviewing hundreds of people about the truths of their lives – the strengths and the struggles – I realized that courage is one of the most important things that resilient people share in common.” [Brené Brown](http://www.brenebrown.com/ordinary-courage/ "Courage") **Resilience** The psychological definition of [*resilience*](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_resilience "Psychological resilience") is “an individual’s tendency to cope with stress and adversity.” A Houston therapist shared the following story recently of her daughter, Madison, a thirteen year old girl who faced her fears with courage as she used tools she has learned to help her become more resilient. [![Girl on Bicycle](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Girl-on-Bicycle-199x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Girl-on-Bicycle.jpg)Madison went to the doctor with her mother for her annual wellness check. Madison told the doctor about a wart that had been on her leg for about six months. Her parents had used over-the-counter medications to treat the wart, but it did not seem to be helping. Madison admitted that she was terrified at the thought of getting the wart removed. She was scared of getting a shot, as well as the the pain she knew she would feel. The doctor told her that it would be best to remove it, but Madison said, “No.” Madison called her mother, Debbie, into the room, and Debbie explained that it was important to follow the doctor’s advice. Debbie knew that Madison was frightened, but she and Madison had talked on a number of occasions about tools that helped face her fears. Madison squeezed her mother’s hand with tears in her eyes. She said she was still scared, but gave the doctor permission. These are some of the tools Madison practiced to build her courage: - **Get the facts.** Madison asked a number of questions about the procedure until she was satisfied that she knew exactly what to expect. - **Seek out connection.** Madison called her mother into the room for support and comfort. She did not have to face her fears alone. > “Courage is like—it’s a habitus, a habit, a virtue: You get it by courageous acts. It’s like you learn to swim by swimming. You learn courage by ‘couraging.’ The same is true for compassion and connection. We invite compassion into our lives when we act compassionately toward ourselves and others, and we feel connected in our lives when we reach out and connect.” [Brené Brown](http://www.oprah.com/own-super-soul-sunday/Excerpt-The-Gifts-of-Imperfection-by-Dr-Brene-Brown "The Gifts of Imperfection") - **Laughter is good medicine.** Madison and her mom told silly jokes to the doctor during the procedure. Debbie reminded Madison that [laughter temporarily relieves pain and also calms anxiety.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practice-laughter-really-is-serious-medicine/ "Laughter is serious medicine") - **Be creative.** As Madison began to relax, she began to sing a silly song with a number of complicated verses. Her song made everyone laugh and the tension melted in the room. After the procedure was finished, Debbie asked Madison what she learned about herself. Madison replied, “I am braver than I thought I was.” **Face Our Fears** The next time something scary gets in the way, we can learn some tips from a young teenager on how to be brave. Here is a list of tools we can practice that build resilience and help us be courageous. 1. [Connect with others](http://www.oprah.com/own-super-soul-sunday/Excerpt-The-Gifts-of-Imperfection-by-Dr-Brene-Brown "The Gifts of Imperfection") 2. [Laughter](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practice-laughter-really-is-serious-medicine/ "Laughter Really Is Serious Medicine") 3. [Gratitude](http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work.html "Shawn Achor: The happy secret to better work") 4. [Play](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-the-importance-of-play/ "The Importance of Play") 5. [Breathe](http://http://www.letslaugh.com.au/10-top-tips-de-stressing-and-building-emotional-resilience "10 top tips de stressing and building resilience") 6. [Exercise](http://www.letslaugh.com.au/10-top-tips-de-stressing-and-building-emotional-resilience) [Brené Brown: The Gifts of Imperfection](http://www.brenebrown.com/books/2010/8/8/the-gifts-of-imperfection.html) [Bron Roberts: 10 Top Tips for De-stressing and Building Resilience](http://www.letslaugh.com.au/10-top-tips-de-stressing-and-building-emotional-resilience) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Adolescents & Children, Anxiety & Panic, Anxiety Issues, Emotional Intelligence, Self-Care Practices **Tags:** anxiety, parenting, self-care, stress management --- ### [Fear and Panic: How to Take Back Control](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/panic/) **Published:** July 1, 2015 **Author:** Lesley Anne Mendonça **Content:** *Imagine you’re in an elevator mentally running through your list of to do’s for the day. Suddenly, the elevator stops between floors. The lights go dark and the alarm begins to sound. What most people will likely experience is an element of fear or panic.* Fear is the body’s natural response to anything that is perceived as a threat, either physical or emotional. Fear is something each of us has experienced, and is responsible for keeping us safe. For many of us though, fear can overstep its bounds and run more of our lives than we wish. We may develop unhelpful behaviors in response to our fear. If left untreated, fear can begin to affect our health and relationships. What if we were to learn to be the master of our fear, allowing it to serve us rather than rule us? *Taking back control* is best done counterintuitively: We need to release control. *Mindfulness* is a beautiful approach to addressing our fear, panic and anxiety. This article borrows from Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), a model of mindfulness that is proven to help with fear (Stahl & Millstine, 2013). #### **What Are Fear, Panic & Anxiety?** Though fear and panic seem to be synonymous, it is important to understand the difference. According to mindfulness expert Bob Stahl, when one perceives danger, fear “serves to activate your ‘fight, flight, or freeze’ response in order to help you survive”. This manifests as rapid breathing, elevated heart rate and blood pressure. Panic is our body’s *response to fear*. “Panic affects your body, emotions, and thoughts in extreme ways that can feel like a violent eruption.” Extreme or chronic panic leads to feelings of terror, worry, anger, shame, inadequacy and embarrassment – and can even culminate to the feeling of going crazy or dying. Anxiety, a very close cousin of fear and panic, is prolonged worry about threats that *might be* in the future. When left unsupervised, all three intermingle and can create a system of dis-ease for us. #### **The Unfortunate Effects** Fear and panic both affect the brain and body in ways that can be detrimental. \[*Did that last sentence cause a little fear and panic? If you’re reading this and feel alarmed, pause from reading and pay attention to your emotion. Breathe, slowly and deeply, through the emotion for as long as you need, and then return to reading. This is a simple example of a* [grounding exercise](http://www.livingwell.org.au/well-being/grounding-exercises/)*.*\] When we are in a state of fear or panic, our neurological pathways change in order to respond quickly for our benefit. According to the [Center for Spirituality and Healing](http://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/enhance-your-wellbeing/security/facing-fear/impact-fear), chronic fear can eventually weaken our immune system, cause cardiovascular damage, gastrointestinal problems and decreased fertility. In order to safeguard our health, it is wise that we become effective tamers of fear and panic. But how? #### **What Can We Do?** ##### Calm Our Body If fear and panic bring our body into a state of distress, our goal is to bring ourselves back to a state of calm and peace. MBSR highlights two main techniques to calming our body. First is through [mindful breathing](http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/ART00521/three-breathing-exercises.html), which can be done anywhere and at any time. A second, more in-depth tool is to practice a [body scan](http://www.mindful.org/mindfulness-practice/the-body-scan-practice). This enables us to pay mindful attention to our body and can teach us to manage internal feelings, including fear and panic. ##### Calm Our Emotion First, mindfulness asks that we acknowledge our feelings rather than avoid them. Research shows that naming our feelings actually calms our brain. Once we’ve named them, we are asked not to judge them but rather to simply allow them to run their course. Learning to *ride the waves* of any presenting emotion is central to mindfulness. This means sitting in the discomfort of our emotion rather than trying to fix or change it. The next time fear or panic shows up, practice naming and allowing the feeling to be. Remind yourself: *feelings are temporary, they will pass.* ##### Calm Our Thoughts As troubling thoughts arise, we can first remind ourselves: *thoughts are just thoughts, and are not necessarily true*. As we continue to pay mindful attention to the thoughts that cause us fear or panic, MBSR suggests we practice: “Pause, observe/experience, allow”. First pause what we are doing, rather than pushing through and ignoring our fear. Then, we can mindfully observe and experience the [effect of our thoughts](http://www.pachamama.org/blog/how-mindfulness-helps-negative-thoughts). Finally, and perhaps most importantly, we can allow this experience to run its course rather than fight it off. ##### Practice Mindfulness Mindfulness teaches us to acknowledge life’s constant unpredictability. The beauty of incorporating mindfulness into our response to fear is in recognizing that fear is a visitor that will be *popping in* on us from time to time. If we cannot control that visitor, our hopeful solution can be to change our relationship to it – through mindfulness. So keep breathing and riding the waves with peace in your heart. Good luck in the journey! [![Lesley Anne Mendonça](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Lesley-Photo-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Lesley-Photo.jpg) **Lesley Anne Mendonça** **M.A., LMFT-Associate, LPC-Intern** **Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, LMFT-S, LPC-S** Stahl, B. & Millstine, W. (2013). *Calming the rush of panic: A mindfulness-based stress reduction guide to freeing yourself from panic attacks and living a vital life.* Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, Inc. ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6838-e1631304820220.jpg) Lesley Anne Mendonça Lesley is a Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy. She practices individual, marital and family counseling, and has a background in ministry with adolescents. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) Mental Health Play Therapy Relationships Parenting Family Therapy [ ![social network icon](data:image/svg+xml;base64,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) ](https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesleymendonca/) **Categories:** Anxiety & Panic, Anxiety Issues, Cognitive Reframing, Mindfulness Practice, Stress Management **Tags:** anxiety, cognitive reframing, mindfulness, panic, stress management --- ### [Could Failure Be the Pathway to Success?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/failure/) **Published:** January 15, 2015 **Author:** Lesley Anne Mendonça **Content:** Let’s be honest, the word “failure” strikes fear in the hearts of many. Failure can dash our hopes and steal our confidence in one fell swoop – teaching us *never* to try that again. But what happens when we push through initial, or even repetitive failure? Our perception can begin to change. We begin to see that failure is not rigid and unyielding, but rather flexible and moldable. Our efforts hold the potential to bring incredible victory – *should we succeed*. There it is. The illusion of success is falsely contingent on one delicate variable: the immediate outcome. This tends to be how we think of success and failure – as a black and white picture of winning or losing. We can be crushed beneath the pressure to succeed. So how do we learn to embrace our fear? Failure is always a potential outcome in our efforts. It is scary to consider. But what if we could develop an entirely different perception of failure and success? Perhaps “success” is a *fictional* destination where we imagine we can stop learning, trying and improving – because we have all we need. And “[failure](http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/constructive-wallowing/201405/fear-failure)” is the notion that we will never arrive there. This concept is similar to a customer who walks away from an item that is *too expensive,* rather than negotiating a lower price. We have a **choice** as to whether or not we will accept it at face value. How Failure Helps Us It masks itself cleverly as a villain, denying us passage. But we can [train ourselves](http://www.forbes.com/sites/vanessaloder/2014/10/30/how-to-move-beyond-the-fear-of-failure-5-proven-strategies/) to see it for what it *really* is: a helper. It can assist us by: – building resiliency and know-how. – sharpening our skills and increasing our expertise. – teaching us how we can succeed by showing us what won’t work. – refining our sense of determination, fortitude and endurance. How To Befriend Failure 1\) **Redefine success and failure.** Consider writing **your own** definition of failure and success, and putting it somewhere you can view it daily. If you need some inspiration, read [what others have written](http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-release-the-fear-of-failing-20-inspiring-definitions-for-failure/) about the subject. 2\) **Allow fear to work for you.** Let your fear perform **only** one function: to alert you of your wants. Often when we encounter fear, it may be because we have spotted a goal or a desire that is within reach. Our fear may be a reaction to a desire to stretch beyond our comfort zone. Armed with your new definition, *fear* can be translated into a signal meant to help you summon determination and drive. 3\) **Notice the bright spots.** As often as possible, make a record of anything that goes well, and any positive trait you feel developing within you as a result of failure. As you begin the [New Year](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resolutions-with-staying-power/), hopeful for change and success, carry with you the expectation and appreciation of your [new friend](http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201411/celebrate-good-times/hurray-failure?tr=HomeColItem), failure. Good luck in the journey! [![Lesley Anne Mendonça](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Lesley-Photo-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Lesley-Photo.jpg) **Lesley Anne Mendonça** **M.A., LMFT-Associate, LPC-Intern** **Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, LMFT-S, LPC-S** ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6838-e1631304820220.jpg) Lesley Anne Mendonça Lesley is a Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy. She practices individual, marital and family counseling, and has a background in ministry with adolescents. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) Mental Health Play Therapy Relationships Parenting Family Therapy [ ![social network icon](data:image/svg+xml;base64,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) ](https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesleymendonca/) **Categories:** Anxiety Issues, Cognitive Reframing, Emotional Intelligence, Mindfulness Practice, Stress Management **Tags:** anxiety, cognitive reframing, failure, fear, motivation --- ### [Infidelity: the natural disaster you can survive](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4320-2/) **Published:** December 3, 2015 **Author:** Angela Blocker **Content:** An affair can be earth shattering. It is normal to feel angry, rejected, isolated and alone. It often invites a myriad of questions along with the immediate urge to do something. How could this happen? Did my spouse ever really love me? How could this person break my trust like this? How do I move past this? How can this be fixed? Strong emotions of rage, hurt, fear, and betrayal settle in and you don’t know what to do. For an event so traumatic and devastating, it is alarming how commonplace infidelity has become. Depending on the source and its definition of infidelity, affairs affect anywhere between 20-25% to 70-75% of couples. You are not alone and can move on. However, while it may be common, the effect and meaning the affair has on each person is unique, and figuring out what to do next can be difficult. **What Can I Do?** 1. **Give yourself time**. Free yourself from making an immediate decision. The time will come for a decision to be made but in the present recognize the swirling emotions of hurt, anger, frustration, fear and grief. Rash decisions often come from acting out of strong emotion, so [learn](http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/09/30/how-to-sit-with-painful-emotions/) to sit with them and understand those feelings. 2. **Use this time to take care of yourself**. There are other areas of your life requiring your attention. Losing something valuable in one area does not mean you’ve lost everything. Don’t lose yourself in the process. Care for your own needs and the needs of your children. Eat nutritionally and exercise. Notice your work performance. As much as possible, stay involved in your usual activities and hobbies. They will provide a needed sense of stability in such a tumultuous time. [Here](http://www.nctsn.org/sites/default/files/assets/pdfs/pfa_for_schools_appendix_c_self_care_checklist.pdf) is a checklist for self-care. 3. **Communicate with your partner**. - **Take a timeout** – Implement a specified period of time during which no terminal decisions will be made about the relationship. The time frame will vary depending on the nature of the infidelity and the needs of each partner. Taking a time out can help you visualize both individually and collectively and carefully consider options. It may be helpful to seek the help of a couples’ counselor to prevent premature or overly emotional decisions. - **Create stability** – Maintain a routine. Have a conversation about how household tasks will be performed, how children will be co-parented and determine if meals will be shared. Starting these conversations will help make life more predictable before any major decisions are made. - **Establish boundaries** – 1. Determine whether the situation calls for separate living arrangements – especially if the relationship has become volatile. 2. Discuss when and what aspects of the affair will be discussed. This helps decrease conflict and provides space to process your thoughts and feelings, along with those of your spouse. 3. Take time to specifically discuss with your spouse who else will know about the situation and which details may be shared. It may also be helpful to discuss how to present yourselves to others unaware of the circumstances. 4. **Practice hope** – Consider the events of the past that have made you stronger. Often, these are the difficult and trying things. Many wonder if they will survive after something as devastating as an affair. Years later, many have learned to live more authentic lives with their spouses or with themselves in another relationship. It won’t happen overnight, but you will get through this. Take it one day at a time. References Baucom, D. & Snyder, D. (2009). *Helping couples get past the affair: A clinician’s guide*. New York: Guilford Press**.** Marriage Advocates. (2013, October 22). *What should I do when my spouse is having an affair?* Retrieved from: http://www.marriageadvocates.com/2013/10/22/what-should-i-do-when-my-spouse-is-having-an-affair/ [![Angela E Blocker Image](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Angela-E-Blocker-Image-150x150.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Angela-E-Blocker-Image.jpeg) Contributed by [Angela Blocker , M.A, LMFTA](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angelaeblocker/) Supervised under Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT, LPC ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Angela-Blocker-LMFT-e1631303162413.png) Angela Blocker [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) Mental Health Play Therapy Parenting Couples Therapy Relationships **Categories:** Divorce, Emotions and Relationships, Infidelity, Marriage, Relationships **Tags:** adultery, couples, Infidelity, mental health, relationships --- ### [The Waiting Game: How To Play It Well](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/waiting/) **Published:** November 10, 2016 **Author:** Tamara Tatum **Content:** Waiting isn’t fun. Longing for an opportunity to arise or a difficult season to pass can be excruciating. With quick fixes, fast response times, and efficiency so highly prized in our society, little room is left to develop the skills to patiently endure. Waiting is a part of life – a *given*. Yet, hitting an unexpected roadblock in our plan for life, or even our plan for the day, seems to catch us off guard and cause us to revert to our two-year-old selves demanding, “I want what I want and I want it NOW!” What is it about waiting that feels so agonizing? [Dr. Kate Sweeny](http://www.katesweeny.com/uploads/2/6/9/4/26944848/sweeny_et_al._2016__emo_.pdf), psychology professor and researcher at University of California Riverside, suggests that the most painful part of waiting is learning how to hold uncertainty. We’d much rather hear, “Sorry, but we’ve selected another candidate” from a potential employer or receive a clear diagnosis from a medical test than to hang in the balance. In fact, Sweeny’s research has shown that while anxiety and rumination are high during waiting periods, levels of anxiety surprisingly decrease even after being hit with bad news. So, now that we know that waiting is both hard and a part of life, how do we survive it without pulling out all our hair, turning into a two-year-old child or giving up? Here are four tips on how to wait well… ### **1. Give meaning to the wait** People are “meaning makers.” We, consciously or not, tend to try to make sense of our environments, events, and lives. How do you make sense of your waiting? You might say to yourself, “I’m holding on now because I believe something positive can come out of any result.” Or, “This wait is producing in me the good qualities of strength, patience, compassion for others.” Cultivating a long-term or overarching vision for your life can help you put this season into perspective ### **2. Try new things or revisit old ones** Have you ever wanted to start get into a new exercise routine, learn to bake bread, become a better writer? Well, now’s your chance! Setting micro-goals can bring creativity and fresh energy into a season that may otherwise seem very dry. ### **3. Brace for the worst** Now, we’ve all heard about the benefits to having a positive outlook on life and no one wants to be a Debbie Downer, but [Sweeny reports](http://www.katesweeny.com/uploads/2/6/9/4/26944848/sweeny_et_al._2016__emo_.pdf) that being overly optimistic during a waiting season could be risky. Considering the worst-case scenario can help to manage your expectations, prepare you for potential disappointment and even increase elation if the best possible outcome occurs. If you prepare for the worst, at least you won’t be blindsided. In fact, you may even be pleasantly surprised! ### **4. Let it out** While waiting, it is easy to feel alone, as if everyone else has everything going well for them and you are the only one trapped in limbo. This assumption of aloneness can keep us from reaching out to others or even acknowledging our pain to ourselves. Still, Sweeny’s research is clear that emotional suppression is not helpful. So, being honest and open with your frustrations, fears and hopes with friends, in your journal, or with a counselor can be another way ride the waves of uncertainty. At Fuller Life, we are here to walk with you as you wade through the muddy waters of life’s ambiguity. For more information about Dr. Kate Sweeny’s research, visit [www.katesweeny.com](http://www.katesweeny.com/) **References** Sweeny, K., Reynolds, C., Falkenstein, A., Andrews, S. E., & Dooley, M. (2016). Two definitions of waiting well. Emotion, 16, 129-143. Sweeny, K. (2012). Waiting well: Tips for navigating painful uncertainty. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 6, 258-269. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tamaratatum/) Contributed by [Tamara Tatum , M.A, LMFTA](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tamaratatum/) Supervised under [Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-e1631305233968.jpg) Tamara Tatum [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) Mental Health Family Therapy Divorce, Separation, Blended Families Parenting Healing Trauma Relationships **Categories:** Anxiety Issues, Counseling, Sticky, Stress Management **Tags:** mental health, stress management, uncertainty, wait --- ### [Compassion in Healing Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/compassion-healing-relationships/) **Published:** July 23, 2012 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/iStock_000019855338XSmall-300x199.jpg "Compassion")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/iStock_000019855338XSmall.jpg)Compassion involves observing the suffering of another and feeling a desire to help alleviate the suffering. Compassion in a counseling setting is by nature non-judgmental and accepting yet objective and observing. This is what is extended to clients in a counseling setting. We observe suffering and difficulty and care enough to be present and respond in a way that will alleviate that suffering. As counselors believe you, our client, are capable of expressing difficult feelings and hurts and can heal the wounds life has created so as to not act out of this pain. We believe that you can achieve your dream of living in a way that is full, content, calm, and free. During this process, compassion embraces hope that the suffering experienced in the present moment will not always remain as it is today. No matter how bad things are right now, you can be assured that things will change. How they change is where the compassionate counseling process comes into play. The human brain is wired to sense the pain or hurt of another. Due to the marvel of modern brain imaging, we now understood that empathy occurs naturally in the way the brain reacts while observing emotions in others. Similar areas of the brain become active when someone sees pain or suffering in another. These connections are actually observed in many different areas of the brain that involve emotions, thoughts, and sometimes movement. One way this occurs in the brain is through “mirror neurons.” When we see someone smile our face naturally smiles. We observe the working of mirror neurons in babies when they reflect back those toothless grins that melt our hearts. For a trained mental health professional, compassion is a key building block of effective helping. Just as developing any skill requires practice, a helping professional learns how to foster this connection in a way that alleviates suffering. A recent study sought to understand how non-verbal compassion expressed in a clinical setting affects the autonomic nervous system of the clinician and the client. Even when the client was unaware of the clinician’s inner and non-verbal practice of compassion, scientific data (measured by heart and respiratory rate and variability) revealed significant changes in the autonomic nervous system as well as significant increases in peacefulness and relaxation for both the client and the counselor. How does this empathic connection help create healing? Our desire is to listen, understand and be present through deep suffering, harsh emotions, and dark memories. We aim to be “shock-proof” and yet desire to understand the depth of what is shared. Because we are outside of the suffering, and trained to maintain a degree of objectivity, we are not lost in the depths of depression, despair, or turmoil presented. We are simply present. Thus the burden is shared and healing begins. Of course, this healing experience of compassion is not limited to a therapeutic relationship. Anytime true compassion is expressed between humans, growth and connection increases. When working with families or couples in a therapeutic setting, our aim is to model and assist in helping to facilitate a similar connection between loved ones. Couples who master (or simply practice) compassion can communicate effectively, connect emotionally, and thrive relationally. Parents can transform their relationships with their children (young or grown) through the practice of loving compassion. Even though our brains may empathize naturally, when we become purposeful and practice these desired states of empathy and compassion, we enhance our lives and enrich our relationships. \* Kemper, K.J. and Shaltout, H.A. (2011). Non-verbal communication of compassion: measureing psychophysiologic effects. BMC Complementary and Alternative Medicine. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/2040fd8-150x150.jpg "Therapist Family Counseling Marriage Counseling")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/2040fd8.jpg)[DR. AMY FULLER, LMFT, LPC](http://amyfullerphd.com/) Clinical Director at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/6d17399acfd9b615dcc0b9c59c57e5ae8935bb0c93952030fbf48b72220e0445?s=300&r=g) Amy Fuller PhD Clinical Director Dr. Amy Fuller is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and professional counselor with over two decades of experience specializing in sex therapy, couples therapy, and trauma. She earned her master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Abilene Christian University and her PhD from St. Mary’s University. Dr. Fuller is the founder and Clinical Director of Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, a nonprofit in Houston committed to providing affordable mental health care and advanced therapist training. She is an AASECT-certified sex therapist and supervisor, known for her compassionate and evidence-based approach. Dr. Fuller serves as the Specialization Director for Sex Therapy and Trauma in the Doctor of Professional Counseling program at Kairos University, where she mentors emerging clinicians. With a passion for making therapy accessible and equipping therapists for meaningful, lasting work, Dr. Fuller integrates clinical excellence, spirituality, and cultural responsiveness into every aspect of her practice. [See Full Bio](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) [ ](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) Couples Therapy Healing Trauma Sex Therapy Mental Health Family Therapy EMDR Relationships Mindfulness [ ![social network 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](https://www.linkedin.com/in/amyfullerphd/) **Categories:** Communication, Compassion, Family Therapy, Parenting, Relationships **Tags:** Communication, compassion, counseling, Empathy, parenting --- ### [Healing Practice: Laughter Really is Serious Medicine](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practice-laughter-really-is-serious-medicine/) **Published:** July 30, 2013 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** [![Woman Laughing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Woman-Laughing-199x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Woman-Laughing.jpg)This is our fifth post in a series where we explore [daily practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices/ "Healing Practices") that nurture and encourage healing. Our last post discussed the benefits of [nurturing sleep](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-permission-to-sleep/). This post explores the many ways that laughter improves our mental well being, social relationships, and physical health. Consider how exercise routines promote physical health. What if adding workout reps of laughter could improve our health just as effectively? Before reading this article, take 30 seconds to begin the first laughter workout for the day: \[pb\_vidembed title=”It’s Not The Miles, But How You Live Them” caption=”Volkswagon Smiles Commercial” url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PR\_UYx4vSPs” type=”yt” w=”480″ h=”385″\] **Improves Relationships** Laughter is a universal language that brings people together. Shared laughter breaks down barriers, builds trust, and creates connection. Laughter has the power to de-escalate conflict and bring about creative and flexible solutions to challenges. When we laugh, [![Father:Son Laughing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/FatherSon-Laughing-300x199.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/FatherSon-Laughing.jpg)dopamine is released and opens up pathways in the brain that help us discover novel solutions. According to [Ellen Weber and Jeane Segal](http://www.helpguide.org/life/humor_laughter_health.htm), “humor and playful communication strengthen our relationships by triggering positive feelings and fostering emotional connection. When we laugh with one another, a positive bond is created. This bond acts as a strong buffer against stress, disagreements, and disappointment.” Just think of all of the ways humor can improve communication in marriage relationships, strengthen parent-child relationships, and deepen friendships. > **Social Benefits of Laughter** > > - [Builds relationships](http://www.brainleadersandlearners.com/humor/a-brain-on-laughter/ "A Brain on Laugher") > - [Creates intimacy](http://www.helpguide.org/mental/eq7_playful_communication.htm "Fixing Relationship Problems with Humor") > - [Enhances teamwork](http://www.stltoday.com/suburban-journals/old-newsboys-day/news/laughter-really-is-the-best-medicine/article_4f51f09a-44b3-5902-a0c3-f5a508284b14.html "Laughter Really is the Best Medicine") (forms powerful group bonds) > - [Defuses Conflict](http://www.psychologyfoundation.org/pdf/TopOfYourGame/11.pdf "Make Time to Laugh and Have Fun Together") **Laughter Promotes Learning** [![Girl Laughing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Girl-Laughing-199x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Girl-Laughing.jpg)Remember the old adage, “This is no laughing matter?” It turns out that the more serious an issue is, the more important it is to cultivate laughter. According to [Ellen Weber](http://www.brainleadersandlearners.com/multiple-intelligences/target-multiple-intelligences-run-from-lectures/ "Target Multiple Intelligences - Run from Lectures"), lectures work against the human brain and our ability to learn. We retain only 5% of the content. When information is paired with humor, our brain pathways light up, and we are able to connect with material in novel ways. We retain and assimilate the material with more ease. **Improves Physical and Mental Health** Laughter is powerful medicine when it comes to the body. When we laugh, endorphins are released in the brain. Endorpins are the “feel good” chemicals that flood our bodies with a sense of well-being. Endorphins also temporalily decrease pain. Laughter reduces stress as it relieves physical tension and relaxes muscles in the body. Laughter increases our ability to fight disease as it decreases stress hormones and increases our immune system. > **Phyical Benefits** > > - [Prevents heart disease](http://umm.edu/news-and-events/news-releases/2009/laughter-is-the-best-medicine-for-your-heart "Laughter is the Best Medicine for Your Heart") > - [Lowers stress hormones](http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/04/080407114617.htm "Anticipating A Laugh Reduces Our Stress Hormones") > - [Decreases pain](http://www.medindia.net/news/Study-Shows-How-Laughter-Reduces-Physical-Pain-90575-1.htm "Study Shows How Laughter Reduces Physical Pain") > - [Boosts immune system](http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/give-your-body-boost-with-laughter "Laughter: Good for Your Health") > - [Relaxes muscles](http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/stress-relief/SR00034 "Stress Relief From Laughter, No Joke") > > **Mental Health Benefits** > > - [Adds joy and zest to life](http://www.helpguide.org/life/humor_laughter_health.htm "Laughter is the Best Medcine") > - [Eases anxiety and fear](http://www.mentalhealthadvocacyinc.org/humor-for-healing/humor-for-healing---can-laughter-be-a-drug-free-alternative-for-anxiety "Humor and Healing") > - [Relieves stress](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/01/study-laughter-can-reliev_n_209719.html "Laughter Can Relieve Stress") > - [Improves Mood](http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199607/happily-ever-laughter "Happily Ever After") > - [Enhances Resilience](http://lindagraham-mft.net/resources/published-articles/laughter/ "Laughter") > - [Eases loss, grief, and trauma](http://lindagraham-mft.net/resources/published-articles/laughter/ "Laughter") Here is one more 40 second laughter workout to light up your day: \[pb\_vidembed title=”Best Ever Laughing Baby” caption=”” url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wIEihDAcpU” type=”yt” w=”480″ h=”385″\] Look for ways to add more laughter into each day. Seek out ways to cultivate laughter in relationships. Remember laughing is some of the best medicine when it comes to physical health, intimate bonds, and mental well-being. Laughter really is a serious matter. [Pallab Ghosh: Study Reveals Laughter Really is the Best Medicine](http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-14889165) [Linda Graham: Laughter](http://lindagraham-mft.net/resources/published-articles/laughter/ "Laughter") [Melinda Smith and Jeanne Segal: Laughter is the Best Medicine](http://www.helpguide.org/life/humor_laughter_health.htm) [Ellen Weber: A Brain on Laughter](http://www.brainleadersandlearners.com/humor/a-brain-on-laughter/) [Ellen Weber: Target Multiple Intelligences – Run from Lectures](http://www.brainleadersandlearners.com/multiple-intelligences/target-multiple-intelligences-run-from-lectures/ "Target Multiple Intelligences - Run from Lectures") ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Anxiety & Panic, Emotional Intelligence, Emotions and Relationships, Self-Care Practices, Stress Management **Tags:** anxiety, emotions and relationships, mental health, self-care, stress management --- ### [Add Flavor to Mindfulness with Color and Music?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/add-flavor-to-mindfulness-with-color-and-music/) **Published:** March 15, 2016 **Author:** Shani Bell **Content:** There has been much focus lately on the benefits of [mindfulness](http://www.mindfullart.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Controlled-Triall-2005.pdf), a practice that encourages focused attention and self-acceptance in the present moment. You may know about mindfulness through methods like meditation, prayer and yoga. But what might happen to your mindfulness practice if you added a little art or music? **Why Try Mindfulness?** Why practice mindfulness in the first place? [Research](http://www.ecsa.ucl.ac.be/personnel/philippot/DocStudents/baer%202003%20mindfulness%20training%20as%20clinical%20intervention.pdf) shows that mindfulness increases focus and can decrease symptoms related to stress, anxiety, fatigue, depression, chronic pain, sleep problems and high blood pressure. [Baer](http://www.ecsa.ucl.ac.be/personnel/philippot/DocStudents/baer%202003%20mindfulness%20training%20as%20clinical%20intervention.pdf) informs us that mindfulness encourages people to focus on present thoughts and emotions in a way that is accepting and curious rather than judgmental. Being hypercritical of thoughts and emotions can cause us to push them away increasing stress and tension. We find ourselves saying things like, “Ugh! I shouldn’t feel this way!” It is better to acknowledge thoughts and feelings for what they are and begin the process of self-regulation. With mindfulness, we increase our present, personal and environmental awareness. We can then take the opportunity to curiously observe and honestly observe our inner experience, labeling what is happening, accepting it as it is and then releasing it with a prayer or meditative statement. **Artful Awareness** Therapeutic approaches like [Mindfulness-Based Art Therapy (MBAT)](http://www.mindfullart.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Controlled-Triall-2005.pdf) have found similarities between creative and mindfulness practices. These two practices can be combined to enhance their effectiveness. Activities like [drawing](http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/10400419.2004.9651457), [playing an instrument](http://etd.lsu.edu/docs/available/etd-03312006-164516/unrestricted/Oyan_dis.pdf), [listening to music](http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15401383.2012.685020) or writing poetry require single-task concentration that reflects the same sort of present-awareness needed to participate in mindfulness. Consider this. When an artist draws her subject, she must observe it closely, recognizing the shape and position of the subject, noticing the folds and creases. She would not be likely to see these details if she were just observing that same thing in passing. With a mindful stance she can more adequately depict the subject of her art. The more the artist practices this type of art, the more she finds her ability to “see” improves. In learning to play music, the body and mind are fully engaged in the singular task of creating sound. The fingers are positioned, the body is postured and the mind is alert. The more the musician practices, the more natural his movements and the flow of music become. When incorporating the arts into mindfulness practice, skill level in playing music or creating artwork is not the focus. The intention is to use the creative process to stay engaged and increase the focus on the present experience: what you see, think, hear and how you are inwardly responding. Use the art as an anchor to maintain present focus when the mind starts to wander. So, what are some examples of ways you could incorporate creativity into your mindfulness practice? - ****Try** [**blind contour drawing**](http://drawsketch.about.com/od/learntodraw/ss/blindcontours.htm).** Choose a drawing utensil (marker, pencil, chalk, etc.) and a piece of paper. Find a subject in your environment and focus in on it. While your eyes trace the lines and shapes of the subject, move your drawing utensil in unison, drawing one contiguous line but WITHOUT looking at your paper. This exercise requires deep concentration. To process troubling emotions, try finding a subject that is related to the issue at hand. For example, if you are having a disagreement with a family member that is causing you distress, find a picture of that person and use this as the subject of your contour drawing. Allow yourself to be non-judgmentally present with any feelings that may arise. You might even try journaling after the exercise. Couples could practice present awareness with each other by creating a blind contour drawing of their partner. [![blindcontour1](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/blindcontour1.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/blindcontour1.jpg) *Blind contour drawing of a hand* - ****Find time alone to** **play an instrument** like the drums or the piano.** Try closing your eyes while playing and improvising or playing by ear. As you do this, observe the changes in your bodily responses as well as what emotions or imagery come up for you during this creative experience. - If you do not have access to an instrument or do not feel musically inclined**, **you can** [**listen to music mindfully**](http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15401383.2012.685020).** Choose a particular song or genre of music to which you feel connected. Pay attention to the characteristics of the song: beat, changes in tempo, harmony, melody, etc. Notice how the visceral responses in your body and emotions respond. Identify the mood of the song and how this connects to your inner experience. If the song has lyrics, notice what words or verses stand out to you. There are a myriad of ways that the arts can be used to engage your senses and keep you inspired to stay present. Be creative and find what works for you. As you develop a lifestyle of mindfulness, you will likely find a deeper understanding of yourself and a greater sense of the world around you. If you are seeking a professional to help you to gain awareness and personal insight, please contact us at [Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/). [![Shani Bell Headshot Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Shani-Bell-Headshot-Fuller-Life-296x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Shani-Bell-Headshot-Fuller-Life.jpg) [Shani Bell, MAAT, LPC-Intern](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shanibell/) Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S and Dr. Sheryl Corbit, EdD, ATR-BC, LPC-AT/S References Baer, R. A. (2003). Mindfulness training as a clinical intervention: A conceptual and empirical review. *Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice*, *10*, 125–143. Retrieved from Eckhardt, K. J. and Dinsmore, J. A. (2012). Mindful music listening as a potential treatment for depression. *Journal of Creativity in Mental Health, 7,* 176-186*.* Retrieved from Grant, A. M., Langer, E. J., Falk, E. & Capodilupo, C. (2004). Mindful creativity: Drawing to draw distinctions. *Creativity Research Journal, 16,* 261-265. Retrieved from Monti, D. A., Peterson, C., Shakin Kunkel, E. J., Hauck, W. W., Pequignot, E., Rhodes, L., & Brainard, G. C. (2006). A randomized, controlled trial of Mindfulness-Based Art Therapy (MBAT) for women with cancer. *Psycho-Oncology*, *15*, 363–373. Retrieved from Oyan, S. (2006). *Mindfulness meditation: Creative musical performance through awareness.* Retrieved from [http://etd.lsu.edu/docs/available/etd-03312006-164516/unrestricted/Oyan\_dis.pdf](http://etd.lsu.edu/docs/available/etd-03312006-164516/unrestricted/Oyan_dis.pdf) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Fuller-Life-2018-Shani-Bell-LPC-ATR-copy-1-e1631304334456.jpg) Shani Bell [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/shanibell/) Art Therapy Mindfulness Anxiety **Categories:** Anxiety & Panic, Mental Health, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Care Practices, Stress Management **Tags:** depression, mental health, mindfulness, self-care practices, stress management --- ### [Time Out: Working Through Anger in Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/anger-in-relationships/) **Published:** June 13, 2012 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** Times of anger and frustration are inevitable in every relationship, especially when we care deeply for another person. Anger is a natural response when we feel threatened or have unmet expectations. Our brains are wired beautifully to spot danger a mile away and react instantaneously in order to protect and preserve. Think caveman. If a tiger appears suddenly, adrenaline surges, and in milliseconds the body responds to spear the tiger, jump up a tree, or freeze behind a rock. Unfortunately, this instantaneous response can create problems in relationships. We desire closeness, but when our needs feel unmet, we sense danger, the danger of disconnection. Our body reacts, adrenaline surges, and suddenly we find ourselves on the attack. When we are in a state of anger it is difficult to think clearly and feel at the same time. We end up hurting the other person and damaging the relationship. After things settle, we often feel regret for our actions. Awareness is key. Talk to your partner about creating strategies for more successful outcomes in the future. 1\. Notice bodily sensations that accompany anger, some of which include: - heart racing and pounding - tense muscles - shaking - clenching fists or teeth - breathing quickly - physical urge to move toward whatever is making us angry When these sensations are present, the “danger response” is in full swing. It is difficult, even impossible, to think, and we are in react mode. 2\. Time Out! It is important to let your partner know what you are thinking: “I care about you and our relationship. I need a time out to cool down, but I promise to come back and work on this issue in \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ minutes.” At least twenty minutes is needed to cool down, sometimes more. Several “cool down” periods may be necessary if anger continues to flare. Negotiate the time that is best for both you and your partner to re-engage. It is important that your partner does not think that you are running away or avoiding the topic. The key features of a time out are: - I care about you and our relationship. - I am angry and may say or do something I do not mean. - I promise to come back and work this out. 3\. Breathe. Take a walk. Find someplace quite and focus on slowing your breath. Take time to remember how much you cherish your partner. This is important, and you can meet this challenge. 4\. Come back and try again. Practice, practice, practice. We value our partners when we practice time-outs during times of anger. Rules for Fair Fighting: - No cursing - No name calling - Focus on one issue at a time. - No use of force - No throwing - Listen and hear. Do not interrupt. - Brainstorm solutions - Set time limit for discussion. No more than thirty minutes. Fuller Life Family Therapy is a place where you can explore new ways of relating in relationships if anger is a struggle. We can be a place where you learn new ways of dealing with anger and practice these skills. We can work together to create more connection and acceptance in your daily life. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Anger Management, Communication, Counseling, Couples, Relationships **Tags:** anger, counseling for couples, couples, Marriage therapy, relationships --- ### [Rituals Create Stability in Romantic Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/couples-attachment/) **Published:** August 21, 2012 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** Couples establish stability in their relationship when they create meaningful rituals in their daily lives. These moments are especially important as partners enter and exit throughout one another’s day. A hug and kiss goodbye, a secret wave, or loving words can create a sense of stability. Many mothers naturally meet this attachment need with their small children. When a mother is leaving, she may hug her child and assure the child gently that she will return. The strength of the attachment bond is increased when a mother and child have predictable rituals such as a hug and gentle word. “Rituals have two distinguishing characteristics: routine behavior and the associated meaning for that behavior.” (Pearson, Child, & Carmon, 2010) The child feels stable for a time without the mother because their ritual created a cue for the child to know what to expect. As a result, the child feels more stable during periods of separation. It turns out that individuals do not outgrow this need for a stable attachment when they transition from childhood into an adult romantic relationship. Physiological studies show that romantic couples affect one another biologically. A couple grows more and more connected symbiotically. Diamond, Hicks, and Otter-Henderson “investigated potential physiological changes associated with separation, focusing specifically on activity of the hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenocortical (HPA) axis … HPA activity provides a potential window into disruptions in day-to-day affect regulation brought about by the loss of regular proximity to one’s attachment figure.” (Diamond, Hicks and Otter-Henderson, 2008) As humans beings, we need each other. We need to be assured that our partner is there even when we are apart. Rituals create a special shared sense of meaning that allows partners to feel more stable during periods of separation. “Rituals aid in the creation of a unique culture of two, which allows for the possibility of generating positive individualized patterns of interactions and strong, enduring relational bonds.” (Pearson, Child, & Carmon, 2010) These moments help to separate the relationship as unique from other connections with various people throughout the day. It creates a distinct sense of “we.” Take some time as a couple to set up some rituals that create stability in your relationship. Here are a few possibilities to get started: - Say “I love you” as often as possible. - Kiss and hug one another when departing and coming back together during the day. - Create an affectionate name for one another. - Create a hand signal that is a secret shared just between the two of you. - Text a loving message during the lunch hour. - Set aside alone time at the end of the day to hear one another’s concerns and joys. Fuller Life Family Therapy is committed to helping couples create stronger bonds in their relationships. If you liked this article, please share it with others or like us on Facebook. Diamond, L., Hicks, A. & Otter-Henderson, K. (2008). *Every Time You Go Away: Changes in Affect, Behavior, and Physiology Associated With Travel-Related Separations From Romantic Partners.* Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. (Vol. 95, No. 2, 385–403). Pearson, J., Child, J., & Carmon, A. (2010). *Rituals in Committed Romantic Relationships: The Creation and Validation of an Instrument. Communication Studies*. (Vol. 61, No. 4, September – October, pp. 464-483). [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Communication, Couples, Marriage, Relationships **Tags:** couples, marriage, mindfulness practice, relationships --- ### [The “Fuller Life”…Reflections on Growth, Happiness and Hope](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-fuller-life-growth-happiness-hope/) **Published:** September 21, 2012 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** We all hold the ideals of “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness” dear to our hearts. The hope of a long life, freedom and the potential of “feeling” happy motivates many to achieve more, overcome great adversity and dream big dreams. I wonder if happiness really is the goal. Happiness is by nature a fleeting and momentary emotional experience. I would posit **true** happiness to be much deeper, flowing from an inner sense of peace, joy and contentment, all products of personal growth. In my work as a family therapist, I have observed many people experience profound blocks to happiness, much less a deep sense of joy, love, and faith. These blocks are usually rooted in unmet needs, emotional wounds or relationship struggles. A therapeutic environment is a professional place where these hurts can be healed. Long-standing behavioral patterns or negative perceptions can be unearthed through strategic intervention, compassionate listening, and therapeutic approaches creating open space for a more meaningful life. #### A different aim ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/hands-on-tree-1024x682.jpg "hands on tree") In this light, the goal is growth. [Margaret Fuller](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Margaret_Fuller) said, “Very early, I knew that the only object in life was to grow.” In the book, [How People Grow](http://store.cloudtownsend.com/how-people-grow-book-1.html "How People Grow by Cloud and Townsend"), well-known authors of the Boundaries Series, Cloud and Townsend suggest real growth involves multiple layers of a persons’ makeup including emotions, relationships, spirit and mind. We are complex beings with layers of personality, emotions and beliefs. In family therapy, we rely on what we call “systems theory” to help us understand how all things work together and effect one another. Change on one level may or may not lead to growth on another…however an effect is felt. When I look back at own life and mark the heights of personal growth, I notice a pattern of growth being accompanied by challenges, failure, or loss. Of course there are those struggles that have not yet produced the fruit of growth. I’m curious about how these particular difficulties that did produce growth differ from those that have not yet yielded growth. It turns out that this phenomenon (growth through how one responds to difficulty) is identified as a key component to long-range happiness in a longitudinal study of 268 men who were at Harvard together in the 1940s. #### The happiness study The study followed the men for 80 years over the course of their lives and is summarized in an article in [The Atlantic](http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2009/06/what-makes-us-happy/307439/1/) entitled, “What makes us happy?” by [Joshua Wolf Shenk](http://www.theatlantic.com/joshua-wolf-shenk/). This notion of utilizing “mature adaptations” is one of the seven elements that predicted healthy aging both physically and psychologically. > *The others were education, stable marriage, not smoking, not abusing alcohol, some exercise, and healthy weight. Of the 106 Harvard men who had five or six of these factors in their favor at age 50, half ended up at 80 as what Vaillant called “happy-well” and only 7.5 percent as “sad-sick.” Meanwhile, of the men who had three or fewer of the health factors at age 50, none ended up “happy-well” at 80. Even if they had been in adequate physical shape at 50, the men who had three or fewer protective factors were three times as likely to be dead at 80 as those with four or more factors.* To read more about this study see the article in [The Atlantic. ](http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2009/06/what-makes-us-happy/307439/1/) The feature identified as “mature adaptation” refers to how these men handled difficulty, adversity or struggle in their lives such as divorce, grief, trauma or failure. The methods defined as “mature” or the healthiest response includes > *“altruism, humor, anticipation (looking ahead and planning for future discomfort), suppression (a conscious decision to postpone attention to an impulse or conflict, to be addressed in good time), and sublimation (finding outlets for feelings, like putting aggression into sport, or lust into courtship).”* These stand in opposition to other defenses we can employ such as acting out, being passive-aggressive, intellectualizing, dissociation, or repression. #### What really matters In the video, [“The pursuit of Happiness,”](http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1460906593?bctid=22804415001) George Vailant, the primary researcher of this landmark study, says simply in conclusion of his many years of study on happiness. > *“This process is fun, it’s all change, but it’s just as much fun to have wrinkles and reminisce…the job isn’t about conforming, or keeping up with the Jones. It’s playing and working and loving, and loving is probably the most important. Happiness is love. Full Stop.”* [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/redwood-trees-growth-post-300x225.jpg "redwood trees growth post")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/redwood-trees-growth-post.jpg) #### Human forests Dr. Vaillant also denotes how a life grows from a sapling to a Redwood. Our symbol of the full life is a tree. If a single life is like a single tree, many truths can be drawn about growth and fullness in life. Trees grow in groves or groups of trees to assist in shielding the harsh realities of weather and wind. Similarly, humans grow in a context of family and social relationships. The quality of these relationships have a dramatic impact on the experience of our lives. For us, early relationships create root systems and provide either stability or a lack of stability. Trees, like humans, are incredibly resilient. This is in part due to their flexibility. A tree gently bends under heavy rain or strong winds, allowing it to survive. We also learn to adapt. No matter what the circumstance, we are creatures of adaptive functioning. Over time, this adaptive functioning can turn into what we might label, “dysfunction,” in spite of its true adaptive or protective purposed beginning. Life sometimes leaves us wounded, scared, or angry. These patterns of destructive emotions leave us stuck and “unhappy.” Unlike trees, we have amazing and miraculous minds, capable of helping us to grow out of unhealthy patterns. We can heal from deeply wounding relationships, and learn hope for a life that gives back. A fruitful life is a full life. A full life is also a free life. We often become “free from” and the result is greater “freedom for”…enjoyment, growth or any other desire. The full life reflects enjoyment of living, breathing, knowing and being known, giving, growing, serving, sharing and hoping. There is much beauty to see, many people to love, and more hope to share. (Or life to grow.)[![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/heart-shaped-tree-300x300.jpg "heart shaped tree")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/heart-shaped-tree.jpg) #### A full life? Our aim at Fuller Life Family Therapy is to provide professional opportunity for growth for ALL people. Growth, as a goal, enables us to endure many trials in a positive light. A goal of growth provides a nice reframe with the power to free us from victim thinking and hope for how this experience can benefit instead of harm. Retrospectively, we can see how quite difficult times lead to the greatest times of growth. Therapy is an effective environment for healing and a calm place to recapture hope and dreams for a life that is full. Hence our slogan, “Healing Hearts, Hopeful Horizons!” Once just a dream, the Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute seeks to provide quality Marriage and Family Therapy available to all people regardless of income or level of insurance; as well as fulfill the dreams of developing professional therapists by filling a gap in professional development with quality faith-based training. We are looking for partners in our efforts to help foster full lives in our community. - For more information see how you can [“Partner with Us.”](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-donations/) - Questions to ponder: How would your life differ if it were directed toward “life, liberty and a right to grow?” - Check out this recipe for happiness based on research in the field of positive psychology: [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/2040fd8-150x150.jpg "Therapist Family Counseling Marriage Counseling")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/2040fd8.jpg) [DR. AMY FULLER, LMFT, LPC](http://amyfullerphd.com/) Clinical Director at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/6d17399acfd9b615dcc0b9c59c57e5ae8935bb0c93952030fbf48b72220e0445?s=300&r=g) Amy Fuller PhD Clinical Director Dr. Amy Fuller is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and professional counselor with over two decades of experience specializing in sex therapy, couples therapy, and trauma. She earned her master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Abilene Christian University and her PhD from St. Mary’s University. Dr. Fuller is the founder and Clinical Director of Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, a nonprofit in Houston committed to providing affordable mental health care and advanced therapist training. She is an AASECT-certified sex therapist and supervisor, known for her compassionate and evidence-based approach. Dr. Fuller serves as the Specialization Director for Sex Therapy and Trauma in the Doctor of Professional Counseling program at Kairos University, where she mentors emerging clinicians. With a passion for making therapy accessible and equipping therapists for meaningful, lasting work, Dr. Fuller integrates clinical excellence, spirituality, and cultural responsiveness into every aspect of her practice. [See Full Bio](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) [ ](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) Couples Therapy Healing Trauma Sex Therapy Mental Health Family Therapy EMDR Relationships Mindfulness [ ![social network 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](https://www.linkedin.com/in/amyfullerphd/) **Categories:** Counseling, Depression, Family Therapy, Mental Health, Self-Care Practices **Tags:** growth, marriage, relationships, therapy --- ### [Finding Peace Amid Life’s Chaos](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindfulness/) **Published:** October 7, 2013 **Author:** Lesley Anne Mendonça **Content:** [![Seashell](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Seashell.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Seashell.jpg) We all have those days. Those days that leave us feeling shackled to our humanity, *trapped* by our trappings, and tied to our persistent concerns. And the old adages that used to come naturally, such as “Don’t worry, be happy!” and “Follow your heart!” seem more comical than realistic. Because no matter how badly we would *like* to disown our worry, responsibility awaits us: the mortgage payments that do not seem to make a dent, the dirty dishes and laundry that magically reappear on their own, the surprise car issue that eats up our entire paycheck. And following one’s heart won’t necessarily fix a flat tire. We desire freedom. So what CAN help us? Don’t worry, I am headed somewhere positive. A notion that began in Eastern religion and quickly overtook common therapy practice is referenced in the Christian novel *The Shack*, written by William P. Young. One message from the novel knocked me off my proverbial horse. The main character dialogues with God, and implores that God make his life easier. And God responds, “Together, you and I can be **in it and not of it**.” What the author offers to the reader, regardless of personal belief systems, is an approach to life that spares us from being consumed: *Be in it, and not of it*. How exactly do we live amid the distractions of survival while keeping the eyes of our heart on higher things, such as love, intimacy and purpose? Here is our tool: **Mindfulness**. Most people have heard of mindfulness, but far fewer know how powerful it can be when embraced as a lifestyle. Mindfulness has its roots in Buddhist teaching, yet has been incorporated into therapy for decades. Mindfulness focuses on an awareness of YOU in the present moment. Though it may sound overly simplified, mindfulness is so much more than a stress manager or tension tamer. It is a posture of living that can open up parts of our heart that we have forgotten even existed. Interested yet? Here is where you can start: Pause from your reading, and notice yourself. Notice your breath. Notice your good intentions. Let your eyes find something near you that leads you to feelings of appreciation. Now notice your feelings of appreciation. Notice your breath again. Did you just get a pang of worry? Notice your worry, validate your worry. It IS hard. And you’re still breathing. Try wiggling your toes. Did you just smile? Notice your smile. If you did not smile, notice your reservation. Mindfulness is simply learning how to be *with yourself*, which is the single most validating thing we can do to lead us to fuller life. No matter the situation, we have the gift of returning to ourselves in the moment. So, the next time that familiar feeling of being trapped bites at our ankle, we can do ourselves a favor by noticing it, but not allowing it to consume us. We can remind ourselves: Just because I am in it, does not mean I am OF it. In time, the freedom of being present to our beautiful lives will give us the lens with which to see all of those interruptions. The truth is that each person’s life truly is a gift, even in its darkest hours. So notice yourself, and know that you are enough. And when you feel you have mastered those first steps of mindfulness, I invite you to wade a little deeper in the water. Check out the links below that encourage mindfulness to lovingly permeate all realms of our day: our diet, our relationships, our addiction, our prayer and even our work. The possibilities are endless! Mindful Eating: Mindful Movement: Mindful Addiction Recovery: [![Lesley Anne Mendonça](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Lesley-Photo-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Lesley-Photo.jpg)Lesley Anne Mendonça, M.A., LMFT-Associate *\[jetpack\_subscription\_form\]* ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6838-e1631304820220.jpg) Lesley Anne Mendonça Lesley is a Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy. She practices individual, marital and family counseling, and has a background in ministry with adolescents. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) Mental Health Play Therapy Relationships Parenting Family Therapy [ ![social network icon](data:image/svg+xml;base64,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) ](https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesleymendonca/) **Categories:** Counseling, Covid-19, Mindfulness Practice, Sticky, Stress Management **Tags:** mindfulness, stress management --- ### [Flexibility During Life Changes](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/flexibility-during-life-changes/) **Published:** February 5, 2013 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** An ancient Greek philosopher named Heraclitus once said, “The only thing that is constant is change.” Transitions are a normal part of life, although they leave us feeling overwhelmed at times. One way to breathe through transitions is to develop resources that help us cope in the midst of change. Five main classes of resources have been shown to boost resilience: functional, physical, psychological, interpersonal, and spiritual. ([Rothschild, 2000](http://www.amazon.com/The-Body-Remembers-Psychophysiology-Treatment/dp/0393703274/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1360076483&sr=8-1&keywords=rothschild+trauma "The Body Remembers: The Psychophysiology of Trauma and Trauma Treatment")) We enhance our ability to adapt to change as we develop these areas. **Develop Resilience** 1. [![Maslow's Hierarchy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Maslows-Hierarchy-297x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/flexibility-during-life-changes/maslows-hierarchy/)Maslow’s Hierarchy ***Functional resources*** comprise of basic safety and security. According to the second tier of Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs,” we all need personal security, financial security, health, and a safety plan for accidents, illness, and their harmful impact. 2. ***Physical resources***. According to the [Mayo Clinic](http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/exercise/HQ01676 "Exercise: 7 benefits of regular physical activity"), regular exercise has a positive impact on many areas including improved sleep, mood, stamina, energy, sex, and our ability to combat illness and disease. 3. “***Psychological resources*** include (but are not limited to) intelligence, sense of humor, curiosity, and creativity (including artistic and musical talents).” ([Rothschild, 2000](http://www.amazon.com/The-Body-Remembers-Psychophysiology-Treatment/dp/0393703274/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1360076483&sr=8-1&keywords=rothschild+trauma "The Body Remembers: The Psychophysiology of Trauma and Trauma Treatment")) 4. ***Interpersonal resources*** consist of one’s various social networks. This includes time spent with family, friends, teachers, volunteer organizations, office peers, and special interest groups. A much-loved pet also creates a beautiful resource of connection and support. 5. ***Spiritual Resources*** encompass a faith in something bigger than oneself. These include spiritual practices, a spiritual community, communing with nature, and adherence to a set of spiritual values or intentions. As we take a look at life, which resources are abundant? Which resources could use some work? Can we give ourselves permission to set aside a little time each day to develop our resources? The resource possibilities listed above may seem overwhelming if we try to cultivate them all at once. If this is the case, choose one area to nurture and break down the process into baby steps. If exercise could use improvement, here are some possible smaller goals: - Put walking shoes by the door as a reminder. - While watching television, walk in place during commercials and add five minutes of walking time every week. After a few short weeks, walking time will be up to 30 minutes. - Try a health club. Most gyms have multiple class offerings at various skill levels. A gym membership is also a great way to meet people and increase interpersonal resources. - Remember to reward oneself for every little goal achieved. Now, take a deep breath as life begins to shift. Feel supported and resilient with an enhanced group of resources to pull from in the midst of change. [Rothschild, B. (2000). *The Body Remembers: The Psychophysiology of Trauma and Trauma Treatment*.](http://www.amazon.com/The-Body-Remembers-Psychophysiology-Treatment/dp/0393703274/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1360076483&sr=8-1&keywords=rothschild+trauma "The Body Remembers: The Pschophysiology of Trauma and Trauma Treatment") [Mayo Clinic. *Exercise: 7 benefits of regular physical activity.*](http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/exercise/HQ01676 "7 benefits of regular physical activity") [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Counseling, Covid-19, Mental Health, Relationships, Self-Care Practices **Tags:** counseling, mental health, relationships, self-care --- ### [Create Balance: Living Well in the Midst of Anxiety](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/live-well-anxiety/) **Published:** May 16, 2012 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** We think anxiety is “bad” in our culture, and that it needs to be alleviated. We may think something is wrong with us if we experience anxiety. Fortunately, about a hundred years ago, two Harvard physicians found that anxiety served an important place in our ability to function well. (Yerkes & Dodson, 1908). They found that performance is directly correlated to level of arousal. When we have little or no arousal, we are bored and perform poorly at complex tasks. On the other hand, when we are extremely stressed and overwhelmed, we find it difficult to function altogether. The optimal level of stress, anxiety, or arousal is somewhere in the middle of both extremes. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/yerkes-dodson-300.jpg "Anxiety therapy")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/yerkes-dodson-300.jpg) Take, for example, preparing for a test. If we feel unchallenged or bored, we may not feel motivated to study, and will likely put it off until the night before. If, on the other hand, we feel intense anxiety about the test, we may find it difficult to focus, and may even blank out while taking the test. The optimal approach is somewhere in the middle. This means that a moderate amount stress is actually beneficial to help us study and stay focused on the task. Or to put it simply: Balance. For those who struggle with too much anxiety, here are some helpful tools that can bring down the level to a more desirable level. Remember, the goal is not to get rid of stress; some stress is helpful. - Call someone you trust. Anxiety diminishes when we share our struggles with another person who hears us with compassion. - Practice deep breathing: There are a number of deep breathing exercises on YouTube. A local Yoga class is also a good place to practice healthful breathing exercises. - Exercise is a natural relaxer, and large muscle movement stimulates and calms the brain. - Notice self-talk: When we are overly self-critical, we increase our level of stress and anxiety. Catch self-critical talk, and begin to respond internally with kindness and compassion. If you feel overwhelmed and your anxiety level makes it difficult for you to focus, please contact Fuller Life Family Therapy so that we can work together to lessen your anxiety and create more balance in your daily life. *Yerkes, R. M. & Dodson, J. D. (1908).* The Relation of Strength of Stimulus to Rapidity of Habit-Formation. *Journal of Comparative Neurology and Psychology,* 18, 459-482. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Anxiety & Panic, Compassion, Counseling, Covid-19, Self-Care Practices, Sticky **Tags:** anxiety, counseling, self-care, therapy --- ### [3 Common Misconceptions About Discipline You Need to Know - Disciplining Your Kids Well, Part 1](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/disciplining-your-kids-well-part-1-common-misconceptions/) **Published:** May 6, 2019 **Author:** Tamara Tatum **Content:** Disciplining your kids is a necessary part of parenting. While it is essential, discipline can often be misunderstood. In this two-part series, we will look at some of common misconceptions and some helpful tips for effective discipline. First, some common misconceptions… ### Discipline is NOT about ### ***1. Punishment*** Punishment does not build skills. It often has the reverse effect of teaching children what to do to avoid getting caught next time. Punishment tends to erode relationships and does not make children want to learn from the person who is punishing them. (Siegel and Payne, 2014; Byrne Biancardi, 2014) ### ***2.Demanding respect and obedience*** Sure, you want your kids to respect you, as their parent. But, a good question to ask yourself is, “Am I acting in a manner that is worthy of respect?” meaning, “Am I responding calmly, being curious about my child’s experience or am I reacting out of anger or frustration by yelling, nagging or insulting” (Canadian Paediatric Society, 2004). Treating your children like they are worthy of respect is one sure way to teach them to treat others with respect. ### ***3. Shaming*** We all make mistakes. Giving your children the impression that they are “bad” because of their errors or poor choices is harmful and can have a long-lasting impact. While you may not approve of your children’s behavior in the moment, make it clear that you still love and value them. ### If discipline is not any of the above, then *what is it really about*? - Discipline is first and foremost about teaching and guiding our children’s behavior (Siegel and Payne, 2014; Byrne Biancardi, 2014). Teaching about acceptable, appropriate and kind behavior may seem like a lot of time and effort at the outset. However, if discipline is done well, you will have to discipline less over time because skill-building helps children to become self-disciplined, with the ultimate goal of them developing into healthy, well adjusted, and considerate adults. Next up, in Part 2 of this blog series, we will explore some useful tips to consider and implement when disciplining your children. At Fuller Life, we are here to provide resources and assistance to support your journey in teaching and guiding your children. Resources: Canadian Paediatric Society. Effective Discipline for Children. Paediatr Child Health. 2004 Jan; 9(1): 37–41. Siegel, D. J., & Bryson, T. P. (2014). No-drama discipline: The whole-brain way to calm the chaos and nurture your child’s developing mind (First edition.). New York: Bantam. Byrne-Biancardi, S. (2014). 6 Secrets of Highly Effective Discipline From a Seasoned Teacher. Contributed by [Tamara Tatum, LMFT-Associate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tamaratatum/) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-e1515908052844.jpg)Tamara Tatum, Resident Therapist Supervised by [Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-e1631305233968.jpg) Tamara Tatum [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/tamaratatum/) Mental Health Family Therapy Divorce, Separation, Blended Families Parenting Healing Trauma Relationships **Categories:** Adolescents & Children, Communication, Counseling, Parenting, Relationships **Tags:** discipline, misconceptions, parenting --- ### [Experience the Fullness of Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/ritual-experience-the-fullness-of-life/) **Published:** August 7, 2013 **Author:** FullerLife **Content:** ![](http://img.scoop.it/tBKPUTZ07TKld12rjWA54jl72eJkfbmt4t8yenImKBXEejxNn4ZJNZ2ss5Ku7Cxt) [Experience the Fullness of Life](http://spiritualityhealth.com/blog/celebrant-institute/ritual-experience-fullness-life) Full, you will find, may denote abundance, completion, perfection, saturation, satisfaction, and more. And so this week, you might pause and explore some of the many ways in which your life is full. – See more at: [http://spiritualityhealth.com/blog/celebrant-institute/ritual-experience-fullness-life#sthash.GJU0zIFf.dpuf](http://spiritualityhealth.com/blog/celebrant-institute/ritual-experience-fullness-life#sthash.GJU0zIFf.dpuf "The Fullness of Life") **Dr. Amy Fuller**‘s insight: Taking a moment each day to express gratitude for something that our life is “full of” is a wonderful way to practice gratitude, defeat our culture of scarcity and enhance our joyfulness. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/3b50f5c3411d691f584deced65d9f66bb470d45b4cf8ab6a2113808da1a96ccc?s=300&r=g) FullerLife Fuller Life Family Therapy [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/fullerlife/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/fullerlife/) **Categories:** Counseling, Emotions and Relationships, Gratitude, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Care Practices, The Human Brain --- ### [Intimacy – One Step at a Time](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/couples-intimacy/) **Published:** May 24, 2012 **Author:** Scott Rampy **Content:** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Couples-Counseling-237x300.jpg "Couples Counseling")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Couples-Counseling.jpg)Most people instinctively know that on a first date, you don’t spill all of your guts immediately. Picture the guy or gal who divulges all their wildest dreams, darkest secrets, best successes, and worst failures all before the appetizer! Too much, too fast! No, intimacy occurs through an instinctive process of knowing what to share and when to share it. Intimacy might be defined as fully knowing another and being fully known by them as well. Hopefully you’ve never experienced the first type of date. You’re probably more familiar with the type of first date that proceeds a little more like this. You meet your date and are pleasantly greeted. You exchange small talk. Before long you find a common interest. Perhaps you divulge a future plan or far off dream. For a brief moment you wonder, “What will they say?” Hopefully your date responds with encouragement, admiration, or some other form of affirmation. The first date may not go much deeper than that. But in this first interaction, a process toward intimacy occurred. You risked a little by sharing about yourself. If it was accepted, you risked a little more. You went a little deeper. If they responded neutrally or negatively, or just focused on themselves, you probably picked up on a cue that this was not a person you could safely share your very core self with someday. Sex in its best form is often connected with intimacy for reasons similar to what has been described. You’ve found someone that it is safe to, literally, bare all with. They do so in return. It is a mutual baring, seeing, accepting and celebrating of a person as they truly are. This process of intimacy is not just related to romantic relationships however. It applies to parent/child relationships and friendships as well. Is your teen reluctant to share about themselves with you, the parent? Is your spouse stand-offish with you? It could be that they perceive that is the deepest level it feels safe to divulge. Ease off the pressure for immediacy. Accept what they do currently offer. The more the other feels unconditionally accepted, the more likely it is that they will risk sharing more. You cannot control what another does, but you can control how you respond. One step at a time. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Scott-Rampy-150x150.jpg "Scott Rampy")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Scott-Rampy.jpg)[Scott Rampy, M.MFT, LMFTA](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/scott-rampy/) Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6829-e1631305127874.jpg) Scott Rampy [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) Mental Health Family Therapy Relationships Divorce, Separation, Blended Families **Categories:** Counseling, Couples, Intimacy & Sex Therapy, Marriage, Relationships **Tags:** counseling, counseling for couples, couples, marriage, Marriage therapy, relationships --- ### [Celebrate Together: How Our Responses Make or Break Our Relationships.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/celebrate-together/) **Published:** April 30, 2012 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** We all want to be heard. Our responses to one another impact the health of our relationships. When we share something of ourselves with another person, and they respond in a caring, empathetic way, we feel important and cared about by that person. When we celebrate, they celebrate with us! On the other hand, when we share something with someone we care about and they respond in a way that discounts our experience, we feel hurt and frustrated. In other words, “How we respond can either build the relationship or undermine it.” (Seligman, 2011) This holds true in any relationship. Picture a child as they come inside the house grasping a flower they just picked. Notice how their eyes sparkle as they hold the plant gently and anticipate momma’s response to their gift. The mother may respond in several ways. She might kneel down at the child’s level, mirror the delight, and place the flower in a glass of water where everyone can see. She also might notice that the flower happens to be one of her award-winning roses, and reprimand the child for destroying her hard work. Or she might understandably be too tired or busy, half-heartedly notice the flower, and tell the child to find a place for it. Martin Seligman in his recent book, *Flourish*, discusses how an active and constructive response builds connection and makes room for relationships to flourish. He lists four possible types of responses: active and constructive, passive and constructive, active and destructive, and passive and destructive. Here is an example from the book: > Your partner shares a positive event: “I received a promotion and a raise at work!” > > Active and constructive response: “That is great! I am so proud of you. I know how important that promotion was to you! Please relive the event with me now. Where were you when your boss told you? What did he say? How did you react? We should go out and celebrate.” Nonverbal: maintaining eye contact, displays positive emotions, such as genuine smiling, touching, and laughing. > > Passive and Constructive: “That is good news. You deserve it.” Nonverbal: little or no active emotional expression. > > Active and Destructive: “That sounds like a lot of responsibility to take on. Are you going to spend even fewer nights at home now?” Nonverbal: displays of negative emotions, such as furrowed brow, frowning. > > Passive and Destructive: “What’s for dinner?” Nonverbal: little to no eye contact, turning away, leaving the room. Active and constructive responding may not seem natural at first, and may take some work. However, the benefits it will bring are worth it in any relationship. In order to practice active and constructive response(s), here are some key things to keep in mind: - Remember that you care about this person. - Maintain good eye contact. - Be curious! Ask questions to learn more about the other person’s experience. - Give them a hug. - Smile. Becoming aware of our style will help us to stop behaviors that may be harmful and create new ways of reacting. Celebrate together and our relationships cannot help but flourish. *Seligman, Martin, (2011). Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being.* [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Social Skills, Sticky **Tags:** Communication, communication skills, couples, emotional intelligence, relationships, social skills --- ### [Writing A Love Story: Did I Marry the Right “One?”](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/my-love-story/) **Published:** May 2, 2012 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** *“Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.” George Bernard Shaw* [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Wedding-300x227.jpg "Wedding")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Wedding.jpg)Ever wonder if you married the right One? Often when people feel dissatisfied with the current state of their marriage, they begin to doubt, and then wonder if they married the right “one.” The seeds of self-doubt then lead to greater disengagement from the relationship altogether, and sometimes a spiral downward for the relationship as a whole. In fact, disillusionment is a common state of marriage, usually followed by misery, and hopefully, eventual rediscovery. The crucial point is how couples respond to this level of dissatisfaction. Some ignore it hoping things will improve. Some shout at their spouse with irrepressible anger. Some cry in their closet, feeling trapped and hopeless. Some seek love elsewhere. Finding the courage to address the disappointment, hurt, or frustration is not always easy. Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better. We seldom stop to wonder if we “got” the right child. Instead we seek to shape our children. Similarly, we shape our relationships by what we put into them. The truth is, you are the author of your love story. Sure, your spouse has his or her own version, but what you think and do matters. Having found love at one point does not guarantee the presence of love 10 or 20 years down the road. You have to keep recreating love by the thoughts, feelings, and actions you choose to pen into the romance novel of your relationship. Not all love stories have happy endings. However, if you are still in the relationship you always have the opportunity to twist the storyline with new thoughts, actions, or feelings. Even the smallest change can make a difference and lead to bigger change. Perception works the same way. A simple shift in how you see things can turn frustration into gratitude, or turn hurt into hope. How do you create a love that will grow your relationship into the one you desire? It may mean learning to forgive, or being more open with your thoughts and feelings. It may mean deciding to show a little more kindness. Giving grace or undeserved kindness is always a nice way to create new love in the relationship. It could be that you need [professional help](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/) to heal old wounds that keep getting infected. Marriage is actually less of a romance novel and more of a ongoing mystery adventure as two very different people spend a lifetime discovering new ways to love each other. Simple curiosity can turn doubt into deeper relationship and intimacy. It is never too late to uncover the mysteries of the “one” in your life. One could dig years and years and never reach the bottom of the well of vast mystery in another person’s being, thoughts, and soul. If you are still married, the “one” you married is still the “one,” as long as you choose to create and share your story with each other. May your adventure be grand! [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/2040fd8-150x150.jpg "Therapist Family Counseling Marriage Counseling")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/2040fd8.jpg)[DR. AMY FULLER, LMFT, LPC](http://amyfullerphd.com/) Clinical Director at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/6d17399acfd9b615dcc0b9c59c57e5ae8935bb0c93952030fbf48b72220e0445?s=300&r=g) Amy Fuller PhD Clinical Director Dr. Amy Fuller is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and professional counselor with over two decades of experience specializing in sex therapy, couples therapy, and trauma. She earned her master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Abilene Christian University and her PhD from St. Mary’s University. Dr. Fuller is the founder and Clinical Director of Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, a nonprofit in Houston committed to providing affordable mental health care and advanced therapist training. She is an AASECT-certified sex therapist and supervisor, known for her compassionate and evidence-based approach. Dr. Fuller serves as the Specialization Director for Sex Therapy and Trauma in the Doctor of Professional Counseling program at Kairos University, where she mentors emerging clinicians. With a passion for making therapy accessible and equipping therapists for meaningful, lasting work, Dr. Fuller integrates clinical excellence, spirituality, and cultural responsiveness into every aspect of her practice. [See Full Bio](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) [ ](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/) Couples Therapy Healing Trauma Sex Therapy Mental Health Family Therapy EMDR Relationships Mindfulness [ ![social network 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](https://www.linkedin.com/in/amyfullerphd/) **Categories:** Counseling, Couples, Intimacy & Sex Therapy, Marriage **Tags:** couples, love, marriage, Marriage therapy --- ### [Be Who You Are and Say What You Feel](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/acceptance-self-care/) **Published:** May 30, 2012 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** “*Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind*.” Dr. Seuss In our society there are a lot of people who have opinions about how we should live. Basically we get the message that we will one day be worthy if: - I lose ten pounds - I am a straight “A” student - I get first place - I am the best parent - I am the strongest - I can “do it all” and not even look like I am trying Unfortunately, we lose sight of our unique strengths and talents when we chase after other’s hopes and dreams. Comparing ourselves leads to judgment and disconnection in relationships. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Shame-acceptance-web-300x225.jpg "Shame acceptance web")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Shame-acceptance-web.jpg)Dr. Brené Brown uses the illustration of a “shame web” to describe what happens when we “should” on others and ourselves [(Brown, 2007)](http://www.brenebrown.com/books/2010/8/7/i-thought-it-was-just-me-but-it-isnt.html). When we focus on our perceived faults we become trapped in a spider web of impossible expectations. We continue hiding important pieces of ourselves that are “unacceptable” because we fear rejection from others. Social comparison is correlated with anxiety, depression, and eating disorders. No one wins. The challenge is to accept others and ourselves. We learn how to better love ourselves and offer that acceptance to others as we experience relationships of acceptance. “*Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from relationship*” [(Brown, 2007).](http://www.brenebrown.com/books/2010/8/7/i-thought-it-was-just-me-but-it-isnt.html) Accepting relationships help us to heal and allow us to move forward out of a spider web of disconnection. “*The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change*.” Carl Rogers Tools: - Become aware: notice times when people use the words “should” or “must.” Also notice times when you say “I should…” to yourself. - Seek out relationships where you can be “real” and heard with acceptance and empathy. - Learn to listen to others non-judgmentally. If you seek a place to heal from the judgment and criticism of others, or a place where you learn compassion for yourself, please contact Fuller Life Family Therapy. We can work together to create more connection and acceptance in your daily life. [Brown, Brené, I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): Telling the Truth About Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power, 2007.](http://www.brenebrown.com/books/2010/8/7/i-thought-it-was-just-me-but-it-isnt.html) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Anxiety & Panic, Boundaries, Compassion, Depression, Relationships, Self-Care Practices **Tags:** acceptance, anxiety, depression, relationships, self-care --- ### [Lean On Me, It's Good for Your Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/secure-attachment/) **Published:** July 10, 2012 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** The brains of earliest cave dwellers were hyper-wired to detect wild animals, snakes and spiders before their eyes or ears even had a sign of danger. Their brains knew that the best chance of survival was sticking together. They attached to significant others in the group and protected one another from harm. The most dangerous position was to be separated from the safety of loved ones. Now, thousands of years later, our brains have not changed that much. They are wired to connect and attach. Current neurological research has found that we not only become attached emotionally, we actually become attached physiologically. A recent study by Dr. James Coan, Richard Davidson and Hillary Schaefer, using MRI technology found that “when two people form an intimate relationship, they regulate each other’s psychological and emotional well-being. Their physical proximity and availability influence the stress response.” (Levine and Heller, 2010) The book, *Attached*, discusses how our bodies/brains crave a secure attachment in order to take creative risks and have a sense of flexibility. For example, for those who are married, creating a secure connection with our spouse can be liberating. “If we feel secure … the world is at our feet. We can take risks, be creative, and pursue our dreams. And if we lack that sense of security? If we are unsure whether the person closest to us, our romantic partner, truly believes in us and supports us and will be there for us in times of need, we’ll find it much harder to maintain focus and engage in life. When our partners are thoroughly dependable and make us feel safe, we can turn our attention to all other aspects of life that make our existence meaningful.” (Levine and Heller, 2010) We are wired to need each other. But, the “common sense” of our society is often at odds with our biological needs. We are told that we need to be able to take care of ourselves, that it is weak to need others. Do not become too attached. Do not be a burden. But our brains tell us otherwise. We are not buying it, and such advice is bad for our health. Striving to develop a secure bond in **marriage** creates an atmosphere of safety and stability. This takes work and time, but is well worth the effort, and may ultimately improve one’s well-being. Tools - Invest in time with one another. Work, kids, responsibilities and obligations can begin to take a toll on an intimate relationship. Block out time on your calendar as non-negotiable to spend together. This is very difficult for those with small children, but no less important. - Think about what you need and learn to communicate those needs assertively to one another. - Practice listening to one another. Learn to listen in a way that your partner feels heard. “What I hear you saying is … is that close? Fuller Life Family Therapy is a place where couples can explore new ways of relating. We would like to work alongside in order to create connection and attachment in your marriage relationship. Levine, Amir and Heller, Rachel. (2010). *Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find-and Keep-Love*. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Counseling, Couples, Marriage, Relationships, Sticky **Tags:** counseling, counseling for couples, couples, Marriage therapy, relationships --- ### [Create Healthy Relationships: Move Toward Empathy and Compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/create-healthy-relationships-move-toward-empathy-and-compassion/) **Published:** October 16, 2012 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** As many of us go through the day, our feelings fluctuate depending on contact with different people. When one person walks into the room, we instantly feel lighter and more energetic. It is easy to be oneself with this person, authentic and genuine. We actually feel better about ourselves when he/she is around. The opposite is just as true. Time spent with someone may be frustrating and leave us feeling drained. We feel bad about ourselves or a little unsure. We do not feel understood, and even have to justify our feelings. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/sciencelab-bacteria3-150x150.jpg "Petri Dish")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/sciencelab-bacteria3.jpg)These two experiences are common. Brené Brown uses the word shame to define the “bad feeling” experience. It seems like we are not enough, and it is fueled by our fear of disconnection. In a [podcast](https://dl-web.dropbox.com/get/Public/ITIWJM%20April%2014%20Post%204%20of%2023.mp3?w=cdfe323f) connected with the book, [*I Thought It Was Just Me*, Brené Brow](http://www.amazon.com/Thought-Was-Just-but-isnt/dp/1592403352/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1350414814&sr=1-1&keywords=i+thought+it+was+just+me)n explores these kinds of experiences by using the metaphor of a Petri dish (like the ones used in high school science classes). When a bacteria culture is placed in a Petri dish and given the right conditions, it will grow and spread. When the Petri dish is saturated with disinfectant, the bacteria die. Let’s compare the Petri dish idea to a time when we are vulnerable and share our experience with another person. When our vulnerability is met with silence, judgment, or secrecy, shame flourishes in us like bacteria. Feelings of disconnection will grow. Take that same authentic, vulnerable experience and put it in the Petri dish. When others meet us with empathy and compassion, our feelings of shame are eliminated. Our experience is validated. We are seen, and feel connection. Start noticing the different feelings depending on who is around at a given time. Is our experience being met with judgment, criticism, or secrecy? Or is our authentic self met with empathy and compassion? As we start to notice the differences, we can create boundaries that honor our experience(s) by spending more time with those people who fill us, and a little less with those who drain us. The difficulty comes when the people we love, such as our spouse or family members, are judgmental, critical, or secretive. These behaviors damage relationships. In order for relationships to heal, these behaviors need to be addressed. When a person we love is unwilling to change their behavior, it is disorienting. If this is the case, it is important to create boundaries that limit our time and proximity with this person. Holding these healthier boundaries in place can be a challenge. Find support and strength to get through the struggle by connecting with those people who know your story and accept you with empathy and compassion. It is our desire at Fuller Life Family Therapy to honor your story and create a compassionate place to explore disorienting times. We want to work together to create more connection and acceptance in your daily life. [Brown, Brené, I Thought It Was Just Me Read-Along, April 14, Post 4.](http://www.ordinarycourage.com/my-blog/2009/4/14/itiwjm-read-along-chapter-2.html) [http://www.ordinarycourage.com/my-blog/2009/4/14/itiwjm-read-along-chapter-2.html](https://dl-web.dropbox.com/get/Public/ITIWJM%20April%2014%20Post%204%20of%2023.mp3?w=cdfe323f "Brene Brown, ITIWJM Read-Along, Chapter 2") [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Boundaries, Communication, Compassion, Counseling, Emotions and Relationships, Empathy, Relationships **Tags:** boundaries, Communication, compassion, emotions, Empathy, relationships, vulnerability --- ### [Writing a Happy Ending](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/writing-a-happy-ending/) **Published:** December 20, 2012 **Author:** Scott Rampy **Content:** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/happily-ever-after-220x300.jpg "happily ever after")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/happily-ever-after.jpg)Co-authoring a new story together at Fuller Life Once when working with a group of teens I had the pleasure of surprising them with the news that, despite all of the medical advances of the twentieth century, the mortality rate remains unchanged – 100%. They were stunned. Silly kids, right? But I find in my own life, while it is plainly obvious that everyone will face death, I do not often consciously consider that I myself will die someday – and it may not even be far away. It could be sudden or even from a seemingly trivial mishap. Tolstoy’s character Ivan Ilych reflected along similar lines. He learned the lesson as a young boy “Caius is a man, men are mortal, therefore Caius is mortal.” The lesson “had always seemed to him correct as applied to Caius, but certainly not as applied to himself.” With this awareness, the question “How then should I live?” naturally arises. How do you answer the question? Reflecting on your life, how do you measure whether it is a life being lived well? A common answer is “*Carpe Diem*!” Seize the day! But how should one seize it? How does one make the most of each ever-passing moment? Are some ways of seizing better than others? Now I have my theories on what will lead to a full life and I would be happy to share if you would like to know, but in the therapy room it is more important to me that you come up with a workable solution for your own life. Usually when I meet my clients for the first time they have become aware on some level that life just is not going as desired. The things that they thought would make for a good life haven’t panned out. So we sort through it together. We get into the good, the bad, and the ugly. We identify assumptions and patterns and things we have been taught. Many find that going through a process like this with an impartial, nonjudgmental conversation partner brings clarity. Maybe you do not consider yourself someone who “needs therapy” but identify with what has been described above. If you think you could benefit from such a conversation partner, send us a note in the boxes on the right. There is still time to put a new ending on your life’s story. ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6829-e1631305127874.jpg) Scott Rampy [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) Mental Health Family Therapy Relationships Divorce, Separation, Blended Families **Categories:** Counseling, Couples, Divorce, Domestic Violence, Emotions and Relationships, Family Therapy, Grief, Infidelity, Mental Health, Relationships, Self-Care Practices, Self-Esteem **Tags:** counseling, depression, grief, relationships, therapy --- ### [Is your screen time depressing?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-your-screen-time-depressing/) **Published:** February 8, 2013 **Author:** Scott Rampy **Content:** [![Screens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Screens-291x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-your-screen-time-depressing/screens/)Are you willing to try an experiment? Find something to take notes with. Choose one day this week. Mark the beginning and ending times whenever you find yourself with a screen in front of your nose. A screen could be a TV screen, computer screen, iPhone screen, or tablet screen. How much of your day did a screen absorb? On a scale of 1-10, where would you rate how satisfying and fulfilling your day was? It is estimated that 340 million people worldwide suffer from depression. A 2010 study published in the[ *International Journal of Behavioral Medicine*](http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20174982) reviewed 11 other studies and found a significant correlation between sedentary behavior – like watching TV and surfing the internet – and depressive symptoms. Seven of eleven studies found that higher levels of sedentary behavior corresponded to higher risk of depressive symptoms. Two of these seven were noted as being of high quality research. Of the four that differed in their findings, two were of low quality. Now it should be noted that just because sedentary behavior and depressive symptoms seem to be linked, it is not necessarily the case that the one causes the other. It could be that depressive symptoms and sedentary behaviors simply go hand in hand. However, the authors of this study cite literature suggesting that even low amounts of physical activity have a positive effect on mental health. [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-your-screen-time-depressing/couple-watching-tv/) [![couple watching tv](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/couple-watching-tv-300x199.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-your-screen-time-depressing/couple-watching-tv/)While technology has beneficial sides to it, every positive innovation can have harmful aspects as well. Couples often report that they have low amounts of quality time together – and even time spent together tends to be focused on a screen. It is common in our culture to be doing one thing while also having the TV on, a movie going, the radio on, or their smartphone out. What would happen if only one primary activity was the focus of one’s full attention? While a moderate amount of passive entertainment can bring an enjoyable element to life, it also has the ability to suck the life right out of life! Here is the second part of the experiment. Find your notes from before. Choose another day this week. Conscientiously find alternatives to placing yourself in front of a screen. Mark the beginning and ending times whenever you find yourself fully engaged with another person, spending time outdoors, or exerting energy in physical exercise. On a scale of 1-10, where would you rate how satisfying and fulfilling your day was? How did it go? We would love for you to share your results with us in the comment section! If you think you have depression or depressive symptoms, check out the following articles by the National Institute of Mental Health: - [Depression](http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/index.shtml) - [What are different forms of depression?](http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/depression/what-are-the-different-forms-of-depression.shtml) Teychenne, M., Ball, K., & Salmon, J. (2010). [Sedentary Behavior and Depression Among](http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20174982) [Adults](http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20174982): A Review. *International Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 17*, 246-254. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Scott-Rampy-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Scott-Rampy.jpg) [Scott Rampy, M.MFT, LMFTA](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/scott-rampy/) Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6829-e1631305127874.jpg) Scott Rampy [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) Mental Health Family Therapy Relationships Divorce, Separation, Blended Families **Categories:** Communication, Counseling, Couples, Depression, Depression, Bipolar, Mental Health, Mindfulness Practice, Relationships, Self-Care Practices, Stress Management, The Human Brain, Time Management **Tags:** Communication, couples, depression, mindfulness, relationships --- ### [Valentine's Day Emergency!](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/valentines-day-emergency/) **Published:** February 14, 2013 **Author:** Scott Rampy **Content:** [![Valentines Day Emergency](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Valentines-Day-Emergency-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/valentines-day-emergency/valentines-day-emergency/)Drawing a blank on what to do for Valentine’s Day? The pressure to please can sap the romance right out of a day that is intended to be about enjoying your relationship. As is the case in many relationships, perhaps the romance secretly escaped your relationship about the same time you said “I do.” While your love for your significant other has increased over time perhaps it has become increasingly difficult to figure out how to communicate it. Have no fear. Here are a few last minute suggestions: - Are there small kids in the family? After they are put to bed spread a quilt over the floor in the living room and have an indoor candle lit picnic. Set the mood. Light a candle, put on their favorite music and share some chocolate-dipped strawberries that you brought home with you. - Share 10 things you love about your spouse. - Make a CD of their favorite songs from when you were dating. - Write your own card. - Play the [Love Map Game](https://docs.google.com/file/d/12vAE1oqD-TBSd6j10pnOH88bOY-8PCY6y4wRildwhLD35sASYJhnQjmkcT5O/edit?usp=sharing "Gottman's Love Map Game") to show your desire to get to know each other better and have a few laughs. - Low on funds? Put on your finest clothes. Then take a tablecloth and candle to your favorite fast food restaurant. Enjoy the funny looks others give you all. - Identify your favorite characteristics in your partner. Share your favorite memory of a time that those traits were on display. - Share favorite memories of significant moments in your relationship over dinner. - Do the small things. Leave notes. Buy flowers. Eat together. Talk. Even if it doesn’t seem grand it may be more meaningful to them than you know. - Has your relationship been on the rocks? Book a [couples therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/ "Marriage Counseling") session with us and tell them how important the relationship is to you. [ ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Scott-Rampy-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Scott-Rampy.jpg) [Scott Rampy, M.MFT, LMFTA](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/scott-rampy/) Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6829-e1631305127874.jpg) Scott Rampy [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) Mental Health Family Therapy Relationships Divorce, Separation, Blended Families **Categories:** Couples, Emotions and Relationships, Marriage, Premarital, Relationships **Tags:** Couples exercises, Romance, Romantic ideas, Valentines Day --- ### [Anger and Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/anger-and-relationships/) **Published:** March 7, 2013 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** Many people struggle with anger. We may have numerous, overwhelming commitments to family, home-life, work, school, and community that can leave us feeling depleted and stressed. It seems there are not enough hours in the day. Endless tasks create a feeling of being boxed in (or cornered) with no outlet in sight. When our stressors become overwhelming, and expectations continue to bombard us, we can become defensive and lash out at the people that mean the most to us. Unfortunately, when things calm down, we may feel ashamed at how we treated those we love. Anger is not an inherently bad emotion. It is one of many emotions that help us navigate the world. Anger alerts us to danger and signals an immediate reaction, influx of hormones and chemicals, and briefly bypasses our ability to think. Think of a tiger as an example. If we come face to face with a tiger, do we want to take time to think, “Do I want to run, or do I want to fight?” No. We want to be fueled by our anger to react to the immediate threat of a tiger, and then, when things have settled, have an opportunity to think about what happened. In this context, anger is a helpful and life-preserving response. Not only is anger triggered by real dangers, such as a tiger, but it is also triggered by how we respond to ourselves in the midst of stress. Our brain responds to negative and judgmental self-talk just as if a tiger were in the room. We immediately trigger a threat reaction. When we tell ourselves we are not good enough, we are bad, or everything is our fault, our brain goes into threat detection and danger mode. Moreover, the same thing happens in the brain when we use negative and judgmental talk with others. This is when anger can bring negative consequences to our lives. For example, when stress goes up, our level of empathy goes down. When our stress levels are high, it is more difficult to be understanding of others and ourselves. When we become angry, our brains temporarily shut down those parts of the brain that hold our hopes and dreams, the thinking, logical, rational parts. The problem is not with anger, but with those times when we act out of anger in our relationships. Anger in relationships becomes destructive when it fuels conflict. Name-calling, defensiveness, criticism, contempt, and stonewalling are signs that anger is dominating the relationship. This type of behavior erodes intimacy. ([Gottman, 2000](http://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0609805797/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1362598843&sr=8-1&keywords=the+seven+principles+for+making+marriage+work)) It does not have to be this way, however. Conflict can actually strengthen relationships when we [seek to really hear one another](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/great-news-about-empathy/ "Great News About Empathy") and search for creative ways to repair our bond. If anger has become a constant companion, take a moment (right now) and take a deep breath. Take another one. Know that many of us struggle with multiple stressors in our world. Not one of us is perfect. Take a [time-out](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/anger-in-relationships/) any time anger begins to rise. Know that we are not fit for human consumption when we are in the midst of anger. [![Couple Repair](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Couple-Repair-199x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/anger-and-relationships/couple-repair/)Now, begin a new practice and respond to oneself with compassion. Compassionate self-talk has been shown to calm the threat-detection system and allow us to be more understanding with others. [Kristin Neff](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-compassion/) is an expert in self-compassion. Her research found that “people who can first give themselves emotional support and validation will be in a better position to be giving, accepting and generous to their partners.” She also found that “people who nurture self-compassion have better overall psychological and emotional health, experience less anxiety and depression, are more motivated to achieve their goals.” ([Randall, 2013](http://www.utexas.edu/know/2013/02/08/happy-valentines-day-to-me/)) When we talk to ourselves with criticism and self-judgment, we fuel anger. When we respond to ourselves with kindness and compassion, we calm our body and create space to respond courageously with our best selves. Paul Gilbert, in his video series on self-compassion, uses the illustration of talking to our best friend. If a friend found himself or herself going through these challenges, how would we comfort and console? Likewise, be a friend to yourself. ([Paul Gilbert, 2011](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-compassion/)) Know that the body is capable of calming itself down, and that the brain is lighting up to meet each unique challenge that arises. Try these steps: - Take a deep breath (calms body and helps us disengage) - [Take a time-out](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/anger-in-relationships/), calm down, and allow emotions time to settle - Notice self-talk - Respond to self with kindness and compassion - Start Over - Repeat anytime **Check out Paul Gilbert’s and Kristin Neff’s [Video Resources on Self-Compassion and Anger](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-compassion/ "Resources on Self-Compassion and Anger").** [Gottman, John. (2000). *The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work*.](http://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0609805797/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1362598843&sr=8-1&keywords=the+seven+principles+for+making+marriage+work) [Randall, Kay. (2013). *Happy Valentines to Me*?](http://www.utexas.edu/know/2013/02/08/happy-valentines-day-to-me/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Anger Management, Communication, Compassion, Counseling, Couples, Emotions and Relationships, Empathy, Marriage, Relationships, Self-Care Practices, Sticky, Stress Management, The Human Brain **Tags:** anger management, compassion, couples, Empathy, marriage, relationships, stress management --- ### [Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parenting-with-love-and-logic-teaching-children-responsibility/) **Published:** March 18, 2013 **Author:** Scott Rampy **Content:** [![Parenting with Love and Logic](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Parenting-with-Love-and-Logic-210x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parenting-with-love-and-logic-teaching-children-responsibility/parenting-with-love-and-logic/)In their popular parenting book [*Parenting with Love and Logic*](http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Updated-Expanded-Edition-Maranatha/dp/1576839540/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1363142838&sr=8-1&keywords=cline+and+fay), psychologist Dr. Foster Cline and educator Jim Fay suggest that parenting is best done with the outcome in mind. (See below for bios of Cline and Fay). Parents want children to grow up into adults that make responsible decisions. As Gandhi is reported to have said, “The means are the ends in the process of becoming.” Applied to parenting, the strategy used in raising up kids is shaping the adults they will become. If a parenting strategy relies upon issuing commands, the child is being steered toward being an adept follower of someone else’s decisions. A brand new adult with little experience thinking, choosing a course of action, and negotiating the consequences is in serious danger of making life-alteringly poor decisions. But what if the child could gain experience in thinking, deciding, and benefiting or learning from outcomes within the safe confines of parents’ boundaries? Cline and Fay’s model of parenting is based upon the parents making clear the acceptable options available to a child, allowing the child to make a decision, and benefitting or suffering from the consequences of their decision (when the child’s safety is not at risk). Love and Logic parents make use of questions: “Would you like \_\_\_\_ or would you rather \_\_\_\_?” These parents consistently place the responsibility of thinking on the children rather than over-functioning on behalf of the children. They love their children too much to shield them from the consequences of their decisions. On the other hand, over-functioning parents rely on commands: “Do this.” “Don’t do that.” “Don’t do that either!” This command/obey/punish pattern sets the stage for regular battles of will – the parent’s versus the child’s. Every time a command is issued a line is drawn in the sand. Will the child obey or disobey? Consider what happens to the parents’ emotions each time the defies the command. It is common for the tension to ratchet up and up into anger and a poor choice of punishment. Not only do these parents expend energy thinking for the child but they also tend to expend an avoidable amount of negative emotional energy on the child. This is not to say that there is not a place for obedience in Cline and Fay’s system. The parents still set the boundaries. However, because they have the end goal in sight, these parents realize that the present conflict is not the entire ballgame. Crossing the boundaries or making poor decisions garner undesirable consequences. The natural consequences of a poor decision are indispensable guides for growing a child into a responsible adult. Love and Logic parents love their children too much to rob them of valuable consequences. To learn more about the Love and Logic style of parenting, pick up a copy of Cline and Fay’s very readable [*Parenting with Love and Logic*](http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Updated-Expanded-Edition-Maranatha/dp/1576839540/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1363142838&sr=8-1&keywords=cline+and+fay). Included are over 40 examples how Love and Logic parents handle common, stressful parenting situations. [Bio for Dr. Foster Cline](http://www.loveandlogic.com/t-fosterbio.aspx) [Bio for Jim Fay](http://www.loveandlogic.com/t-jimbio.aspx) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6829-e1631305127874.jpg) Scott Rampy [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) Mental Health Family Therapy Relationships Divorce, Separation, Blended Families **Categories:** Emotional Intelligence, Family Therapy, Parenting, Relationships, Self-Esteem **Tags:** Foster Cline, Jim Fay, parenting, Parenting with Love and Logic --- ### [What I Made Up In My Mind](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/what-i-made-up-in-my-mind/) **Published:** March 26, 2013 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** We all have filters. Our filters are created from childhood, past relationships, what others modeled for us by their example, and how we intersect with culture. Everyone has different experiences that inform each person’s filters and lenses. These filters are always present in the midst of our relationships and have an effect on how we view others. Acknowledging our lenses can make a significant difference in our relationships and our level of happiness. “It is not necessarily reality that shapes us, but the lens through which your brain views the world that shapes your reality. If we can change the lens, we can change your happiness.” ([Shawn Achor, 2011](http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work.html "Shawn Achor The Happy Secret to Better Work")) Here is a common example: Three people witness a car accident. When the police interview each witness about the same accident, their stories are different. Each witness ultimately experienced the accident in a different way. Who is telling the truth? Each one of them. Couples often share this frustrating phenomenon. Something happens. Each person in the couple “knows” exactly what happened. However, for some reason, the other person does not see it the same way. Both partners spend too much time in conflict trying to convince the other person about reality. They both end up moving on without resolution. The problem with this scenario is that each person’s experience is valid. Our reality is shaped through our filters. What tools can help us avoid this stalemate in our relationships with others? 1\. Acknowledge our unique filter: Terrence Real believes a good place to start is acknowledging the lens we use to interpret reality. A handy phrase like, “What I made up in my mind,” can go miles in a relationship and diffuse the emotional rollercoaster we experience when our brains try to fill in the blanks. ([Terrence Real, 2008](http://www.amazon.com/The-New-Rules-Marriage-What/dp/0345480864/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1364173844&sr=8-1&keywords=terrence+real "Terrence Real The New Rules of Marriage")) Example: A wife promises to call her husband while she is at work before lunch. The phone call never comes. Her boss pulls her into an impromptu meeting that lasts through lunch. Sandwiches are called in. She is unable to make the call. What choice does her husband have? He can either (a) make up possible reasons why she neglected to make the call: “Does she still care?” “Did she lie?” “Did she have a reason to lie?” Or, (b) acknowledge his discomfort and wait until he has a chance to talk with her to learn what happened. Then, he can begin with, “When you did not call, I made up in my mind…” At this point, she has a chance to reassure him that she loves him and explain what happened. The emotional tone is calmer. This phrase allows them to broach a difficult issue, to acknowledge possible hurt feelings, and to hear one another. 2\. Practice listening. Shift the goal from trying to win our position to trying to understand the other person. [Receiving empathy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/great-news-about-empathy/), feeling like someone really understands where we are coming from, is healing. When we both feel the other person understands, the conflict often loses its steam. [![Lens of Gratitude](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/lenses-300x202.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/what-i-made-up-in-my-mind/lenses/)3. Enhance your lens with gratitude: Instead of looking for what is lacking approach relationships from a place of gratitude. Gratitude is an intentional practice and impacts our level of contentment and happiness. In [an interview Brené Brown did with Oprah Winfrey](http://www.oprah.com/own-super-soul-sunday/Full-Episode-Oprah-and-Brene-Brown-on-Daring-Greatly-Video "Oprah Winfrey and Brene Brown") about her research with men and women on “Wholehearted” living, Brown responded: “I made a commitment to everybody I knew, that I will never talk about joy for the rest of my career without talking about gratitude, because in 12 years of research, I have *never* interviewed a single person who talks about the capacity to really experience and soften into joy who does not *actively* practice gratitude.” 4\. [Self-compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-compassion/ "Self Compassion Paul Gilbert Kristin Neff"). When we talk to ourselves in negative and self-critical ways, it not only affects the way we see ourselves, it impacts the way we view others in a negative way. Our filter becomes one of criticism and negativity. We gain a greater capacity to face our insecurities when we learn to be actively compassionate with ourselves. When we mistakes, we acknowledge the pain and learn that it is and act of kindness to comfort one another. ([Link to self-compassion videos by leading experts, Paul Gilbert and Kristin Neff)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-compassion/ "Self Compassion Paul Gilbert and Kristin Neff"). In conclusion, relationships are enhanced when we recognize that we all use filters to make meaning of our reality. When we acknowledge the filters and try to understand the other, we are better able to approach difficult issues and create space for healing. We can enhance our lens and become more content in our relationships as we learn self compassion and actively practice gratitude. [Achor, Shawn. (2011). The Happy Secret to Better Work. Video on TED.](http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work.html "Shawn Achor The Happy Secret to Better Work") [Real, Terrence. (2008). The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work.](http://www.amazon.com/The-New-Rules-Marriage-What/dp/0345480864/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1364173844&sr=8-1&keywords=terrence+real "Terrence Real The New Rules of Marriage") [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Communication, Compassion, Counseling, Couples, Emotions and Relationships, Empathy, Gratitude, Marriage, Relationships, Self-Care Practices, Sticky **Tags:** Communication, compassion, counseling, couples, emotions and relationships, Empathy, marriage, relationships, self-care --- ### [Healing Practices: The Healing Power of Beautiful Spaces](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-power-of-beautiful-spaces/) **Published:** April 9, 2013 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** Many of us practice daily habits in order to maintain our health. We brush our teeth every day as an essential step of oral and heart health. Many of us engage in some form of daily exercise to maintain our physical health. How many of us are aware that daily habits are also an important aspect of emotional health? Over the next few weeks, we will explore some of these daily practices. [Daily habits](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices/ "Healing Practices") can contribute to increased levels of happiness and contentment. Several have been shown to decrease levels of anxiety and depression. Moreover, we can also increase our immune system functioning and our feelings of well being. Just as we pick up our toothbrush every day, we can begin to create new habits that influence the way we feel. **Self-Care Practice** Many think, “If only \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ (fill in name of person) would change, then I could be happy.” It is tempting to believe. However, it is unhealthy when we put all of our hopes solely on the shoulders of someone else. We end up thinking we have no control of our ability to feel better. It is impossible to make another person change and will only create frustration in a relationship. The good news is that people have the ability within themselves to create higher levels of contentment and happiness. We can even enhance our relationships, when we let go of trying to change others and transfer that energy to personal daily healing practices. This week we will focus on the healing power of beautiful spaces. **The Healing Power of Beautiful Spaces** [![Houston's Memorial Park](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/bluebonnets-300x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-power-of-beautiful-spaces/bluebonnets/)Houston’s Memorial Park > The human soul is hungry for beauty; we seek it everywhere—in landscape, music, art, clothes, furniture, gardening, companionship, love, religion, and in ourselves. John O’Donohue In 1984, Roger Ulrich, an environmental psychologist, published an article about the effects of our environment on the healing process. He studied patients who had gallbladder surgery. Half of the patients recovered from their surgery in a room with a window overlooking a grove of trees. The other half of the patients had a window that faced a brick wall. The experiment noted that the patients facing the trees had less negative comments toward their nurses, needed less pain medication, and left the hospital a full day earlier than the patients who looked at a brick wall. [![Houston's Herman Park](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/8974_10200294469477843_1265289846_n-300x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-power-of-beautiful-spaces/8974_10200294469477843_1265289846_n/)Houston’s Herman Park Most of us have experienced this healing power intuitively. We are drawn to majestic waves crashing in the ocean. Snow-covered mountain peaks captivate our attention. We crave sunny days at the park. A long hike. A bike ride. Our bodies already know exactly what we need. Scientists and psychologists echo what we have already discovered: beauty is restorative to the brain and the body. [Dr. Esther Sternberg](http://www.onbeing.org/program/science-healing-places/4856) works in the fields of immunology and neurology. She has collaborated with a number of scientists, including Irving Biederman, to create a hypothesis that when we are in the presence of natural beauty, “endorphins are released in that part of the brain that recognizes a beautiful or preferred view.” > A number of studies have shown that viewing natural environments containing trees for just a few minutes, or even looking at pictures of trees, can lower blood pressure, relax muscle tension, lower levels of fear and anger, reduce pain, ease stress, and shorten recovery time from surgery. ([Bays, J.C.](http://www.amazon.com/How-Train-Wild-Elephant-Mindfulness/dp/1590308174/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1366648346&sr=8-1&keywords=how+to+train+your+wild+elephant "How to train your wild elephant")) After a full day of normal stressors (emails, traffic, homework, and fluorescent lights) our bodies end up depleted and fatigued. Time spent in the presence of beauty, can rejuvenate and calm the body, mind, and spirit. We may even think of time spent in beauty as medicine for the soul. Connect with beauty. Notice any changes in the body before and after time spent in nature. - Creatively search for beautiful or calming spaces close to where you live. - Take a walk at a local park. - Drive down to the ocean for a day. - Find a hiking trail nearby. - Bring nature indoors by adding a few plants to the decor.[![Flowers in the Home](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/sabbath-breakfast-300x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-power-of-beautiful-spaces/sabbath-breakfast/) For more on this topic visit these podcasts on the healing power of beauty: [The Science of Healing Places with Esther Sternberg. On Being with Krista Tippett. September 27, 2012.](http://www.onbeing.org/program/science-healing-places/4856 "Esther Sternberg On Being The Science of Healing Places") [John O’Donohue: The Inner Landscape of Beauty. On Being with Krista Tippett. January 26, 2012.](http://www.onbeing.org/program/inner-landscape-beauty/203 "John O'Donohue: The Inner Landscape of Beauty. On Being. Krista Tippett") [Bays, J.C. (2011). How to Train A Wild Elephant & Other Adventures in Mindfulness.](http://www.amazon.com/How-Train-Wild-Elephant-Mindfulness/dp/1590308174/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1366648346&sr=8-1&keywords=how+to+train+your+wild+elephant "How to train a wild elephant") Ulrich, R. S. View through a window may influence recovery from surgery. Science. Vol. 224. Issue 4647. (April 27, 1984). [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Counseling, Emotions and Relationships, Relationships, Self-Care Practices, Sticky, Stress Management, The Human Brain **Tags:** anxiety, depression, emotions, mental health, relationships, self-care, stress management --- ### [Healing Practices: Creating Technology Balance](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-creating-technology-balance/) **Published:** May 9, 2013 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** This is our third post in a series where we explore [daily practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices/ "Healing Practices") that nurture and encourage healing. Our last post discussed “[The Importance of Play](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-the-importance-of-play/).” This post explores how we can create balance and boundaries with our digital devices in ways that honor our relationship with ourselves, as well as our relationships with others. **Benefits of Technology** [![Video Chat](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Video-Chat-300x219.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-creating-technology-balance/video-chat/)Most of us enjoy our digital devices. They enable us to express ourselves via blogs, tweets, facebook, and forums that connect ideas globally. We have the ability to speak face-to-face with loved ones even if they live across the world. We are no longer confined to our desks and offices, and can connect easily with groups in order to accomplish work and study tasks. Favorite movies, videos, and games are available on demand wherever we are. Shopping needs are satisfied instantly with just a click. **Challenges of Technology** While we may enjoy our devices, it may be helpful to reflect on how technologies impact the ways we relate to ourselves and others. Over the past two decades, digital devices have changed what we do with our time and how we connect with others. Cell phones, iPads, minis, laptops, and video games are constant companions. How and when did this happen? The New York Times article, [*Silicon Valley Says Step Away from the Device*](http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/24/technology/silicon-valley-worries-about-addiction-to-devices.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0 "Silicon Valley Says Step Away from the Device"), used this metaphor: > “If you put a frog in cold water and slowly turn up the heat, it’ll boil to death — it’s a nice analogy,” said Mr. Crabb, who oversees learning and development at facebook. People “need to notice the effect that time online has on your performance and relationships.” The constant pull of these devices makes it difficult to be fully present with the people around us. We might have lunch with a friend when our phone beeps to alert us of a text or facebook message. How do we decide what is most important for this moment? Do we notice that our attention has shifted and that we are no longer engaged in the original conversation? How do we balance the ever-increasing demands of our devices so that we continue to stay connected with the people right in front of us? > To make our life livable, we have to have spaces where we are fully present to each other or to ourselves, where we are not competing with the roar of the Internet and the people around us are not competing with the latest news off the facebook status update. They may not have anything new. They may just be there being in a way that needs attention. [Sherry Turkle, On Being](http://www.onbeing.org/program/alive-enough-reflecting-our-technology/63) **[Find a Balance](http://www.onbeing.org/program/alive-enough-reflecting-our-technology/63)** [Sherry Turkle](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7Xr3AsBEK4) suggests creating time in our day that she calls “sacred spaces.” These are times when we set aside digital devices in order to be present with ourselves and the people around us. These intentional sacred spaces might include: - [![Family at dinner](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Family-at-dinner-300x199.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-creating-technology-balance/family-at-dinner/)Dropping off and picking up kids from school. - Dinner time as a family or couple. - Time with oneself, such as a walk around the neighborhood. [Brené Brown](http://www.brenebrown.com/) suggests creating what she calls “white space” in the day. When we stop at a red light, many of us automatically check texts or facebook. This constant need to stay plugged in does not allow our mind space to slow down and rest. Brown suggests noticing this compulsive tendency and letting it go.What if we took the moment to just be? We could connect with our breathing, notice the surroundings, and reengage with the present moment? S.T.O.P. is an example of a mindfulness exercise that may assist us in learning to be present in the little tiny white spaces of our day. **S.T.O.P.** > S – Stop or pause. > > T – Take a deep breath and relax. > > O – Observe in the present moment: What sounds do I notice? Where is my breath? How does my body feel? What am I saying in my mind? What is one way I can respond to myself with compassion in this moment? > > P – Proceed – Where was my attention before S.T.O.P.? Did it match my intention? Do I want to continue or attend to something else? ([Zylowska, 2012](http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Prescription-Adult-ADHD-Strengthening/dp/1590308476/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1354035462&sr=1-1&keywords=the+mindfulness+prescription+for+adult+adhd "Mindfulness Prescription for Adult ADHD")) Some people take an opposite approach and set certain times of the day to plug in. This may mean limiting email, Twitter, and facebook to certain times of the day. Since they have specific time set aside for digital management, they are able to be more fully present with children, spouses, or family members. **Begin a Conversation** [![Conversation](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Conversation-300x199.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-creating-technology-balance/conversation/)Many large companies related to the digital industry are joining the conversation on the benefits of unplugging for a little while every day. The executives at [Google brought in Jon Kabat-Zinn to train their employees on how to practice mindfulness](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSU8ftmmhmw) in order to decrease stress and become more present in their own lives. What if we begin a conversation with the important people in our lives about where technology fits and does not fit in our daily routines? Take time to talk with family members about how digital devices enhance and detract from relationships. As we talk, we can begin to create boundaries that balance our significant relationships with the powerful benefits the digital world has to offer. \[pb\_vidembed title=”TED: Connected, but Also Alone” caption=”Sherry Turkle studies how our devices and online personas are redefining human connection and communication — and asks us to think deeply about the new kinds of connection we want to have.” url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7Xr3AsBEK4″ type=”yt” w=”480″ h=”385″\] [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Boundaries, Counseling, Couples, Marriage, Relationships, Sticky, Stress Management, Time Management **Tags:** family, marriage, relationships. couples, self-care, stress management, time management --- ### [Trauma and the Body](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/yoga-and-trauma/) **Published:** August 30, 2013 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** Photography: [Solitude](http://www.flickr.com/photos/jhoc/2665726862/ "Solitude by Jeremy Hockin") by [Jeremy Hockin](http://www.flickr.com/photos/jhoc/ "Jeremy Hockin") Many people suffer from either physical or emotional wounds that remain from a previous traumatic experience, and sometimes both. [Trauma](http://www.thefreedictionary.com/trauma "trauma") is defined as *a serious injury or shock to the body, as from violence or an accident, or an event or situation that causes great distress and disruption*. A traumatic experience can hijack the body and break down the connection between mind and body. We may not be able to connect rationally or articulate what we feel. In a recent interview [Bessel van der Kolk,](http://www.traumacenter.org/about/about_bessel.php "Bessel van der Kolk") trauma expert at the Boston University School of Medicine explained, > “It’s amazing to me what a hard time many people I know have with (articulating what happened). This is not about something you think or something you figure out. This is about your body, your organism, having been reset to interpret the world as a terrifying place and yourself as being unsafe. And it has nothing to do with cognition. You can say to people, ‘You shouldn’t feel that way’ or ‘You’re not a bad person’ or ‘It wasn’t your fault.’ And people say, ‘I know that, but I feel that it is.'” The body is designed to heal itself, and the brain’s job is to take care of the body. This is good news for many who struggle daily with the effects of trauma. Through [compassionate and gentle practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices/ "Healing Practices") we can once again embody our bodies. “*Unless you befriend your body, you cannot become well*.” (Bessel van der Kolk) One’s healing journey can begin with the aid of a [compassionate therapist](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/compassion-healing-relationships/ "Compassion in Healing Relationships") partnered with “somatic experiecing,” (explained below) such as yoga. **Therapeutic Trauma Treatments** - EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): According to [Dr. Amy Fuller](http://amyfullerphd.com/emdr-explained/ "EMDR Explained"), EMDR is *“a revolutionary therapy that has helped millions let go of painful experiences, memories, or beliefs. By utilizing the brain’s natural healing processes, [EMDR therapy](http://www.scoop.it/t/emdr-therapy) quickly heals many emotional problems and conditions which have been difficult and time consuming to treat in the past.”* - Compassion Focused Therapy: *“Helps people who have undergone a traumatic experience to develop compassion for themselves and others, a sense of safety, and the ability to self-soothe when difficult memories or emotions arise.”* ([Lee James, and Gilbert](http://www.amazon.com/Compassionate-Mind-Guide-Recovering-Trauma-Compassion-Focused/dp/1572249757 "Compassionate Mind Guide to Recovering from Trauma")) - Somatic Experiencing: *“Somatic experiencing takes advantage of the body’s unique ability to heal itself. The focus of therapy is on bodily sensations, rather than thoughts and memories about the traumatic event. By concentrating on what’s happening in your body, you gradually get in touch with trauma-related energy and tension. From there, your natural survival instincts take over, safely releasing this pent-up energy through shaking, crying, and other forms of physical release.”* ([Robinson, Smith, and Segal](http://www.helpguide.org/mental/emotional_psychological_trauma.htm "Emotional and Psychological Trauma")) - Van der Kolk also suggests exploring techniques such as [Rolfing](http://www.rolf.org/about "Rolfing"), [Craniosacral](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Craniosacral_therapy "Craniosacral thearpy") therapy, and [Feldenkrais](http://www.feldenkrais.com/ "Feldenkrais") that “*[help people really feel their body, experience their body, and open up to their bodies](http://www.onbeing.org/program/restoring-the-body-bessel-van-der-kolk-on-yoga-emdr-and-treating-trauma/5801 "Restoring the Body").*“ \[pb\_vidembed title=”Healing Yoga for Trauma” caption=”Simple, gentle yoga therapy practice for releasing trauma.” url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAa6H3QHPL8″ type=”yt” w=”480″ h=”385″\] **Healing Trauma Resources** [Deborah A. Lee, Sophie James, Paul Gilbert: The Compassionate-Mind Guide to Recovering from Trauma and PTSD: Using Compassion-Focused Therapy to Overcome Flashbacks, Shame, Guilt, and Fear](http://www.amazon.com/Compassionate-Mind-Guide-Recovering-Trauma-Compassion-Focused/dp/1572249757 "The Compassionate-Mind Guide to Recovering from Trauma and PTSD: Using Compassion-Focused Therapy to Overcome Flashbacks, Shame, Guilt, and Fear") [Lawrence Robinson, Melinda Smith, M.A., and Jeanne Segal: Emotional and Psychological Trauma](http://www.helpguide.org/mental/emotional_psychological_trauma.htm "Emotional and Psychological Trauma") [Denise Kersten Wills, Healing Life’s Traumas](http://www.yogajournal.com/health/2532 "Healing Life's Traumas") [Restoring the Body: Bessel van der Kolk on Yoga, EMDR, and Treating Trauma](http://www.onbeing.org/program/restoring-the-body-bessel-van-der-kolk-on-yoga-emdr-and-treating-trauma/5801 "Restoring the Body: Bessel van der Kolk on Yoga, EMDR, ad Treating Trauma") [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Anxiety & Panic, Compassion, Counseling, Grief, Self-Care Practices, Sticky, The Human Brain, Trauma and Loss **Tags:** anxiety, compassion, grief, loss, panic, self-care, trauma --- ### [9 Reasons Happily Engaged Couples go to Premarital Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/9-reasons-happily-engaged-couples-go-to-premarital-counseling/) **Published:** September 24, 2013 **Author:** Scott Rampy **Content:** [![young African American couple](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/young-African-American-couple-300x199.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/young-African-American-couple.jpg)**Premarital counseling is only for couples who are engaged and having trouble, right? Wrong.** Premarital therapy is helpful for engaged couples in crisis, but it is especially intended for healthy couples madly in love with each other. Why should a couple that is very much in love, happily engaged and looking forward to the “big day” go to the added time and expense of premarital counseling? 1. **Every couple has blind spots.** Partners think they know each other inside and out but it is common to discover substantial areas of disagreement in certain expectations. Premarital counseling is designed to illuminate those areas of agreement, disagreement, and uncertainty. 2. **The divorce rate hovers around 50%** according to U.S. Census data. Nearly one of every two couples who on their wedding day could never imagine divorce don’t make it. 3. No one comes naturally equipped as an expert communicator. Learn about **communication strategies**, emotional self-regulation and conflict resolution. 4. **Discover family-of-origin influences** on yourself and your partner. 5. **Find a safe place** to deeply investigate past failed relationships together and prepare to end undesirable patterns. 6. If one or both partners have children, it is important to prepare for the additional role of **step-parenting.** Likewise, children may benefit from family counseling as they adjust to the changes as well. 7. **Get acquainted to counseling** and a counselor. Gaining that familiarity will provide a resource to turn to for help when the going gets tough. 8. The marriage relationship is unlike any other relationship one encounters previously in life. Coupled with that, many people have few real-life examples of successful marriage relationships. For many couples, television and the movies subconsciously set the expectations for a “normal” relationship. Maintaining unrealistic expectations is a sure path to disappointment. **Making expectations clear** and planning accordingly paves the way to contentment and joy. 9. The cost of a wedding ceremony seems high enough, but it doesn’t compare to the emotional cost of a failed relationship on divorcees and children. On the other hand, the value and beauty of **a successful relationship** that is able to make it through the difficult times is immeasurable. Couples are wise to prepare for the success of the marriage just as they prepare for the wedding ceremony. ## Next steps: - Talk with your partner about whether premarital counseling is a good investment for your relationship. - Talk to a counselor about starting premarital counseling. - Ask a counselor for book recommendations for your relationship. - Check the Fuller Life Family Therapy blog for more articles on creating healthy relationships. (Tip: Use the “Categories” filter on the right side of the page) - Browse our online magazine on [“Resilient Relationships.”](http://www.scoop.it/t/resilient-relationships) **Contact us for information about our Premarital Counseling Package!** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Scott-Rampy-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Scott-Rampy.jpg) [Scott Rampy, M.MFT, LMFTA](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/scott-rampy/) Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute \[jetpack\_subscription\_form\] ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6829-e1631305127874.jpg) Scott Rampy [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) Mental Health Family Therapy Relationships Divorce, Separation, Blended Families **Categories:** Blended Families, Couples, Premarital, Relationships, Sticky **Tags:** blended families, Communication, conflict resolution, engaged couple, marriage expectations, Premarital counseling, wedding preparations --- ### [Calm in Houston Traffic](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/calm-in-houston-traffic/) **Published:** October 2, 2013 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** The diverse sites, sounds, cultures, and entertainment make Houston a great city. Never a dull moment. But a big challenge in this ever-expanding city is the constant traffic. It is not uncommon for cars to cut in front, ride bumpers, or weave at a ferocious pace in and out of rows of vehicles on a busy freeway. It is also common to find oneself in the middle of a traffic jam. These frequent occurrences can create a cloud of stress and agitation that floats over the rest of the day. How we take care of ourselves in the midst of this inevitable stress is a great predictor of how much space we will have to respond to others (and ourselves) with understanding and kindness as each day progresses. We can practice calming ourselves, and allow the cloud of stress to dissipate when we accept the situation and learn to adapt. Traffic is not going away. How can we learn to cope so that our day goes more smoothly? Here are some ideas to experiment with during the next traffic episode: 1\. Make a plan. A great place to start is to know that something stressful is likely to happen while on the road. We can put a plan into practice every time we are in a stressful situation. Take a moment and visualize being in traffic in the future, and create new ways to respond and remain calm. 2\. Add more time. Many of us plan for the exact amount of time it should take to get to our destination. When we get caught in traffic, the stress and frustration begin to build when we realize that we might be late. We may end up feeling rushed and harried when we eventually arrive. This rushed feeling can stay with us for the rest of our day. If we can add five or ten minutes to our estimated traveling time, we give ourselves a break. We can use the time when we are stalled in traffic as an opportunity to listen to a favorite song, or simply to take a moment to pause. If there is no traffic, bonus! We get to arrive early and fresh. 3\. Breathe. Deep breath connects us instantly to the calming mechanisms of our body. “As it turns out, deep breathing is not only relaxing, it’s been scientifically proven to affect the heart, the brain, digestion, and the immune system.” ([Cuda, 2010](http://www.npr.org/2010/12/06/131734718/just-breathe-body-has-a-built-in-stress-reliever "Just Breathe: Body Has A Built-In Stress Reliever")) Placing a reminder to breathe on our dashboard can be a simple way to bring us back to our breath: This simple poem uses both breath and smiling as a way to soothe our frustration and bring the level of agitation down: “Breathing in, I calm body and mind. Breathing out, I smile. Dwelling in the present moment I know this is the only moment.” Thích Nhất Hạnh 4\. Make a mental gratitude list. When we think consciously about all of the good things in our day, our mood shifts. A regular gratitude practice increases levels of happiness and contentment. In his [TED talk, Shawn Achor](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLJsdqxnZb0 "Shawn Achor TED: The Happiness Advantage"), researcher at Harvard University, reported that “Ninety percent of your happiness is not predicted by your external world, but by the way your brain processes the world.” He suggests later in his talk that we can practice active skills like gratitude that allow us to filter our experience more positively, lower our stress hormones, and feel happier as a result. 5\. Empathize. Over time, as stress builds, we may start seeing other people on the road as obstacles in our way instead of fellow human beings. We can remind ourselves that the people driving all around us have families, stressors, and complicated life issues, just like us. We can even pretend that the person who just cut in front of us may be rushing to the hospital… or, may be rushing to the airport to pick up a dear friend they have not seen in years. When we begin to see the other people as people again, we can tap into our empathy and literally shift the way we feel. Remember, we cannot change the other person’s behavior on the road. Empathy is one way we can soothe ourselves and let go of the stress so the agitation does not follow us through the rest of our day. 6\. Be creative. Take the suggestions above and experiment to see what fits the best. Perhaps try some relaxing music, imagining a tasty menu for future meals, or visualizing a favorite place. We need to pay attention to our bodies, notice any agitation, and then notice how our bodies feel when we respond to the stress with a calming technique. [![1031511125_e1b4b3817e_z](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/1031511125_e1b4b3817e_z-300x199.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/1031511125_e1b4b3817e_z.jpg)[Photo by Cole Martin](http://www.flickr.com/photos/jcolton/1031511125/ "Houston Traffic") Those of us who live in Houston (or any other big city for that matter) most likely spend a significant amount of time in traffic. Accepting the traffic, making a plan, and responding to ourselves with calming techniques can make a positive impact on the rest of our day and how we feel. When we can bring down our level of stress, we create more space to respond to ourselves, and the people we love, with understanding and kindness. Moreover, we will be practicing activities that can actually make us happier in other parts of our lives. More resources on stress management and happiness: Achor, Shawn, (2012): The happy secret to better work Garber, Lisa (2012). Meditation Affects Brain after Weeks: Improves Stress Response, Increases Empathy: http://naturalsociety.com/meditation-affects-brain-stress-response-empathy/ Cuda, Gretchen. (2010). Just Breathe: Body Has A Built-In Stress Reliever: Grohol, Rick. (2010). Stress Management and Empathy Improve with Age: http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/12/17/stress-management-and-empathy-improve-with-age/21922.html [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Anger Management, Anxiety & Panic, Breath Work, Compassion, Counseling, Gratitude, Mental Health, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Care Practices, Sticky, Stress Management, Time Management **Tags:** anger management, anxiety, breath work, compassion, gratitude, mindfulness practice, self-care, stress management, time management --- ### [Happily Ever After: Building Walls and Closing Cracks](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/happily-ever-after-building-walls-and-closing-cracks/) **Published:** January 28, 2014 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** Many of us want “happily ever after” relationships. How can we cultivate relationships that stand the test of time? Many marriage vows are based on commitment to the marriage that includes phrases such as “til death do us part,” and “in sickness and health.” Before marriage we often assume that we all know what “commitment” means. Oftentimes, however many people differ in their opinions about what it means to be “committed” in a relationship. Unless we talk openly about our assumptions, as well as the possible pitfalls that hinder a committed relationship, we can set ourselves up for disappointment. First, it is important in any relationship to begin by building a healthy foundation that includes protective walls around the relationship. Actively work to build trust, emotional connection, and intimacy with one another. A healthy marriage does not come naturally. It takes investment. A number of resources are available like books, videos, retreats, classes, [couple’s counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/ "Couple's Counseling"), and marriage seminars that offer great tools to cultivate love and also increase awareness of behaviors that damage trust and intimacy. [![Hole in brick wall](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Hole-in-brick-wall-234x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Hole-in-brick-wall.jpg)Second, talk openly about how to protect the walls around the relationship. What are some “red flags” that can alert each partner that the marriage is in need of attention? Talk about how to approach one another when feeling disconnected or taken for granted. If we receive emotional support from someone outside the marriage other than our spouse, cracks begin to form in our walls and weaken the relationship. If it is difficult to approach one another, seek professional help to work through challenges or obstacles together. Third, talk openly about the potential of temptation outside the marriage. Just because we are committed does not mean that we will not find someone else attractive. This is perfectly normal. How can we protect our relationship when we find someone else attractive, or when someone makes advances on us? Shirley Glass, author of [“Not Just Friends,”](http://www.amazon.com/Not-Just-Friends-Rebuilding-Recovering/dp/0743225503/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1390931739&sr=8-1&keywords=not+just+friends "Not Just Friends") offers a brief list of suggestions to consider: - *Know that attraction is normal. But just because you feel it doesn’t mean you have to act on it. Being attracted to someone else doesn’t mean you’ve chosen the wrong person. One of the measures of true commitment is that you don’t allow yourself to be pulled away from your priorities by distractions.* - *Don’t let yourself fantasize about what it would be like to be with that other person.* - *Don’t flirt.* - *Avoid risky situations. ([Glass, 2004](http://www.amazon.com/Not-Just-Friends-Rebuilding-Recovering/dp/0743225503/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1390932679&sr=8-1&keywords=not+just+friends "Not Just Friends"))* Above all, keep communication inside the walls of marriage. If outside support is needed, make it a rule to confide only in someone that puts the marriage first. In her book, [“Not Just Friends: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity,”](http://www.amazon.com/Not-Just-Friends-Rebuilding-Recovering/dp/0743225503/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1390931739&sr=8-1&keywords=not+just+friends "Not Just Friends") Shirley Glass has several quizes that offer warning signs that a partner may be on the slippery slope to an affair. The book also offers great insights on how to build healthy walls around the relationship and close cracks or openings that appear. > **Quiz: Is Your On-line Friendship Too Friendly?** > > What are the warning signs that you (or your partner) are on the slippery slope to an on-line affair? Take this quiz and see: > > 1. Do you find yourself coming to bed later at night because you are chatting on-line? > 2. Do you ever exit a screen because you do not want a family member to see what you are reading or writing to a chat room member? > 3. Have you ever lied to your spouse about your personal Internet activities? > 4. Would you feel uncomfortable sharing your Internet correspondence with your spouse? > 5. Have you ever set up a separate e-mail account or credit cared to carry on personal correspondence with an individual on-line? > 6. Has your Internet correspondence had a negative effect on your work or household tasks? > 7. Have you ever lied in response to a question from your spouse about your e-mail correspondence? > 8. Have you ever exchanged photos of yourself with a secret e-mail correspondent? > 9. Since beginning a secret e-mail correspondence, have you ever experienced a loss or an unusual increase in sexual desire with your spouse? > 10. Have you made arrangements to talk secretly on the phone with your e-mail correspondent? > 11. Have you made arrangements to meet with your secret e-mail correspondent? > > **Scoring Key:** > > Two or more *yes* answers to questions 1,2,3,4 indicate a potential Internet romance developing. It is time to either share your on-line correspondence with your mate or break off the correspondence and begin to examine how to improve your marriage. > > A *yes* answer to any of questions 5,6,7 indicates you are crossing a boundary from an Internet friendship to an Internet romance. Acknowledge this relationship for what it is about to become and take action to preserve and enhance your marriage. > > A *yes* to questions 8 or 9 indicates you have begun a fantasy romantic relationship with your on-line correspondent. Even if it never moves to a physical stage, this relationship has great potential to damage or destroy your marriage. > > A *yes* to questions 10 or 11 indicates that you have taken positive action toward initiating an extramarital affair. Consider the impact this will have on the marriage and your children and take steps to sort this out with a professional. ([Glass, 2004](http://www.amazon.com/Not-Just-Friends-Rebuilding-Recovering/dp/0743225503/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1390931739&sr=8-1&keywords=not+just+friends "Not Just Friends")) A “happily ever after” relationship goes through a number of ups and downs. It takes investment, a willingness to be open, and a good amount of courage. Healthy walls take work and need to be maintained throughout the years. Fuller Life Family Therapy offers an abundance of [marriage resources](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resources/ "Marriage Resources"), [pre-marital counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/premarital-counseling/ "Premarital Counseling Package"), and [couple’s counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/ "Couple's Counseling") in the hopes that we can be a part of cultivating healthy relationships. [Glass, S. (2004). Not “Just Friends”: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity.](http://www.amazon.com/Not-Just-Friends-Rebuilding-Recovering/dp/0743225503/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1390931739&sr=8-1&keywords=not+just+friends "Not Just Friends") [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Boundaries, Couples, Infidelity, Marriage, Relationships, Sticky **Tags:** boundaries, couples, Infidelity, marriage, relationships --- ### [On the Other Side of Burnout](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout/) **Published:** March 11, 2014 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** > “Life is full of difficulties. If we don’t have enough happiness on reserve, we have no means to take care of our despair.” Thich Nhat Hanh At different times we may find ourselves feeling overwhelmed and fatigued by the multiple demands of our lives. We check emails, text, commute, go to work, chauffer kids, volunteer, cook, attend doctor’s appointments, plan dates, etc. The list of tasks can sometimes seem like it will never end. We may even begin to feel worn out, disillusioned, or even hopeless. Many Americans suffer under the strain of the constant stress and our frantic pace. We are on the edge of burnout both physically and emotionally. According to the World Health Organization, the United States is [one of the most anxious nations](http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/features/united-states-anxiety "Anxiety Statistics ") as nearly one-third of our population will suffer from anxiety during the course of a lifetime. [Depression rates](http://www.healthline.com/health/depression/statistics-infographic "Depression Statistics") are currently on the rise with 20% more cases diagnosed every year. **What is Burnout?** “Burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed and unable to meet constant demands. As the stress continues, you begin to lose the interest or motivation that led you to take on a certain role in the first place.” ([Segal, Smith, and Segal, 2014](http://www.helpguide.org/mental/burnout_signs_symptoms.htm "Preventing Burnout")) What are some ways we can become more aware of burnout and exhaustion in our own life? Where could we focus helpful changes to prevent or heal from burnout? In the book [Finding Peace in a Frantic World](http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Eight-Week-Finding-Peace-Frantic/dp/1609618955/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1394567136&sr=1-1&keywords=finding+peace+in+a+frantic+world "Finding Peace in a Frantic World"), authors Penman and Williams begin to shed some light on the experience of burnout using Marie Asberg’s illustration of the Exhaustion Funnel. [![Exhaustion Funnel](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/funnel.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/funnel.jpg) The widest circle of the funnel represents life when we feel most balanced and energized. At the top, life is open wide to the world. We have meaningful balance between responsibilities and enjoyable activities. However, when we go through a crisis, or when demands increase, we tend to cut out things that are “optional” in order to meet the new challenges. Unfortunately, we may cut out things that are not necessarily urgent, but nourishing, such as rest, play, exercise, time with friends, time away from technology, journaling, and spiritual practices. As demands and responsibilities increase, we unintentionally cut out the things that fill us and energize us. We are pulled deeper and deeper into the funnel as we focus our remaining energy on the demands that deplete us while continuing to cut the things we need most. We may not even realize this is happening until we find ourselves at the bottom of the funnel feeling angry, lifeless, numb, anxious, or exhausted. **Meaningful Balance** Williams and Penman suggest a journaling activity to assess how much of our life is devoted to activities that nourish us and how much are devoted to activities that deplete us. > “First, mentally run through the different activities that you do in a typical day. Feel free to close your eyes for a few moments to help bring these to mind. If you spend much of your day doing the same thing, try breaking the activities down into smaller pieces, such as talking to colleagues, making coffee, filing, word processing, and eating lunch. And what sorts of things do you find yourself doing in a typical evening or weekend. Now, write it all down, listing maybe between ten and fifteen activities of a typical day in a column on the left-hand side of your page. When you have your list in front of you, ask yourself these questions: > > - Of the things that you have written, which nourish you? Which lifts your mood, energizes you, makes you feel calm and centered? What increases your sense of actually being alive and present, rather than merely existing? These are nourishing activities. > - Of the things that you have written, which deplete you? What pulls you down, drains your energy, makes you feel tense and fragmented? What decreases your sense of actually being alive and present? What makes you feel you are merely existing, or worse? These are depleting activities. > > Now, complete the exercise by putting an “N” for “nourishing” or a “D” for “depleting” on the right-hand side, corresponding with each activity. If an activity is both, put down your first reaction, or if you cannot simply choose, put N/D or D/N.” (Williams and Penman, 2011) [![Father son walking](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Father-son-walking-300x199.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Father-son-walking.jpg)The purpose of this activity is to create awareness of the balance in our life between those things that nourish and those things that deplete. If more balance is needed, we can add nourishing, self-care back into our daily life. For some nourishing self-care ideas, check out Fuller Life’s [Healing Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices/ "Healing Practices") and also Olga Phoenix’s [Self-Care Wheel](http://www.olgaphoenix.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/SelfCare-Wheel-Final.pdf "Self-Care Wheel"). More helpful information on self-care and burnout prevention can also be found at these sites: [Alessandra Pigni. Burnout: The Exhaustion Funnel](http://mindfulnext.org/burnout-the-exhaustion-funnel/ "Burnout: the exhaustion funnel") [](http://mindfulnext.org/burnout-the-exhaustion-funnel/) [Melinda Smith, Jeanne Segal, and Robert Segal: Preventing Burnout: Signs, Symptoms, Causes, and Coping Stragegies](http://www.helpguide.org/mental/burnout_signs_symptoms.htm "Preventing Burnout") [Mark Williams and Danny Penman Website: Finding Peace in a Frantic World](http://franticworld.com/what-can-mindfulness-do-for-you/ "Finding Peace in a Frantic World") [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Self-Care Practices, Sticky **Tags:** burnout, burnout prevention, compassion, mental health, self-care practices, stress management --- ### [Perfectionville: Population Zero](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/perfection/) **Published:** March 18, 2014 **Author:** Lesley Anne Mendonça **Content:** ![Perfection](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/photo-1-e1395185574248.jpg) It starts as early as we can remember. We make a mistake, we are corrected, and we strive to *never* make that mistake again. In that moment, a fictional destination is created: **Perfection**. As we grow and learn, we begin to subscribe to countless myths that suggest we **must live perfectly**. These myths often go unchallenged, and even unrealized. What if we were to take a moment to truly consider the longstanding implications of perfectionism? Were it even *possible* to attain perfection, what would we truly accomplish? What is the goal of reaching a perfect state? **Perfectionism’s Mark** In her book “The Gifts of Imperfection”, [Dr. Brene Brown](http://brenebrown.com/ "Dr. Brene Brown") reminds us that “perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth.” Rather, perfectionism falsely guarantees us that – with it – we can essentially be safe from pain. Brown shares: “Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from taking flight.” Perfectionism, when untamed, can impede productivity, tamper with our self-image, unsteady our relationships and prevent us from enjoying a full life. **\[pb\_vidembed title=”The Gifts of Imperfection” caption=”Dr. Brene Brown shares her thoughts on the gifts of being imperfect.” url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ck6atQ6xppc” type=”yt” w=”480″ h=”385″\]** **Tips on Taming Our Perfectionism** **\[Tip One\]** Practice [Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-awareness/ "Awareness"): Those who struggle with perfectionism often avoid finishing tasks for fear of falling short of the ideal. Along the way, one can become frustrated with his imperfect work. Ironically, obsessing over perfect work competes with actually working! Therefore, one can start with an awareness of perfectionism when it begins to overtake. Once we are aware of it, it can help to remember that *the perfect goal* is merely a motivator, not a reality. And in the even grander scheme, whatever we do or produce can be seen as a single step in our learning; it is always there for revision and further development! **\[Tip Two\]** Practice Forgiveness and [Self-acceptance](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-compassion/ "Self-acceptance"): Imagine one who constantly measures herself to perfect standards. What happens to her self-esteem or self-image? Like chasing the horizon, the fruitless pursuit of perfection can quickly deplete morale and self-efficacy. Therefore, it is crucial to guard ourselves by practicing forgiveness of imperfections, and eventually accepting our imperfections as gifts. Each mistake or shortcoming is an opportunity for growth, learning, and self-acceptance. **\[Tip Three\]** Practice [Vulnerability](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-declutter-our-relationships/ "Vulnerability"): Being in relationship with a perfectionist guarantees a struggle with high expectations. We can start by asking ourselves: Do we expect perfection from ourselves in relationships to *receive* love? Do we expect perfection from others in order to *give* love? The implicit message we often learn from a young age is: If we are imperfect, we will lose love and acceptance. At our core, perfectionism is a place where we are loved and accepted *conditionally* – rather than for simply being. It is a belief that our worthiness lies in what we are able to do rather than an inborn sense of self-worth. True intimacy comes when we find we have fallen short and still are still loved. It is in these moments that we are awakened to the freeing power of love, freeing us to be ourselves and to love others no matter what. As we all know, it does not take any effort to love perfection. So consider being more of an explorer; explore vulnerability in relationships and patience with any known imperfections. **\[Tip Four\]** Practice [Enjoyment](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-the-importance-of-play/ "Enjoyment!")! All too often, we allow our ideas or practices to grow into more than we intended. For instance, we allow dieting and exercise to begin to consume us. Rather, we can simply enjoy the practice of a healthy lifestyle while allowing occasional extravagant treats or lazy days. Creating room for our humanity amidst striving to be better is the mark of a beautifully balanced life. And for those of us who struggle with perfectionism, we can simply choose to enjoy our competence, our tenacity, and our drive for greatness – without letting it consume us. We can appreciate perfectionism for what it is, and not allow it to grow beyond where we can still enjoy it. Perfectionism, by its very nature, demands that we fit into a mold. However, if each of us are unique beings, then we each have a mold of our own, unlike anyone else. As we grow into the fullest versions of ourselves, it will help to practice self-compassion, a sense of humor, honest vulnerability, and fearlessness in our journey. When we can embrace our imperfections, we are becoming more authentic versions of ourselves – and becoming *perfectly* us. Check out Celestine Chua’s indicators to help us spot if we, ourselves, struggle with perfectionism. Enjoy the journey! [![how to tell if youre a perfectionist](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/how-to-tell-if-youre-a-perfectionist.gif)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/how-to-tell-if-youre-a-perfectionist.gif) [![Lesley Anne Mendonça](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Lesley-Photo-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Lesley-Photo.jpg) [Lesley Anne Mendonça,](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/lesley-anne-me%E2%80%A6lmft-associate/%20%E2%80%8E "Lesley Mendonça") M.A., LMFT-Associate, LPC-Intern Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, LMFT-S, LPC-S ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6838-e1631304820220.jpg) Lesley Anne Mendonça Lesley is a Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy. She practices individual, marital and family counseling, and has a background in ministry with adolescents. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) Mental Health Play Therapy Relationships Parenting Family Therapy [ ![social network icon](data:image/svg+xml;base64,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) ](https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesleymendonca/) **Categories:** Anxiety Issues, Communication, Compassion, Counseling, Emotional Intelligence, Emotions and Relationships, Empathy, Relationships, Self-Care Practices, Sticky **Tags:** anxiety, compassion, counseling, emotional intelligence, emotions and relationships, Empathy, family therapy, patience, perfectionism, self-care --- ### [Parenthood: The Power of Breathing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parenthood-the-power-of-breathing/) **Published:** April 7, 2014 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** Parenthood is an adventure. Each day brings new challenges and new surprises. We can feel exhilarated one moment and the very next minute we may feel overwhelmed. One of the most important things we can do is remember to breathe. A few deep breaths create a little cushion of space to *think* over how to best respond. When we do not give ourselves a few moments to calm down, we cannot connect with the reasonable, logical part of our brain. Our parenting hopes and goals are stored in this area of the brain. It is difficult to think at all. This inability to think can create even more frustration and little options. We may end up yelling or reacting too harshly when we feel pressured to act right away. Acting while we are emotionally escalated is somewhat like shaking up a snow globe. It becomes more and more blizzard-like the more agitated it gets. We cannot see clearly. In the following video, Dr. Daniel Siegel uses a simple model to show how the brain disconnects, or “flips it’s lid” when overstressed. \[pb\_vidembed title=”Dr Daniel Siegel Presenting a Hand Model of the Brain” caption=”” url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DD-lfP1FBFk” type=”yt” w=”480″ h=”385″\] **Take a Breath** Can we give ourselves permission pause for a moment and breathe? Deep breath connects us instantly to the calming mechanisms of our body. “As it turns out, deep breathing is not only relaxing, it’s been scientifically proven to affect the heart, the brain, digestion, and the immune system.” (Cuda, 2010) When we take a few deep breaths, we give a signal to the body that it is okay to calm down. Our brain reacts just like the snow globe. We set the snow globe down, the snow settles, and we can now see clearly. When we are able to pause and take a breath, we reconnect to the front part of our brain and lessen the pressure to have to act right away. This space opens up more options in how we want to respond to our children. We can even share this little breathing space with our children. When we are upset, or our children are upset, practice breathing together. This practice can teach our children how to calm themselves, too. Here is a simple breathing exercise we can do anywhere: **[![Mother child](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Mother-child-225x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Mother-child.jpg)Ten Count Breathing** 1. Breathe in and say, “Breathe in, one.” 2. Breathe out and say, “Breathe out, one.” 3. Repeat with consecutive numbers (2,3,4,5, etc.) until 10. 4. Notice any shift in the body’s stress level. Notice any shift in your child. This breathing exercise can easily be used anytime, anywhere, and for any type of stressful situation such as work, traffic, and even relationship conflict. As we breath deeply, we calm ourselves and are able to see more clearly. We open up the ability to respond with more care for ourselves and others. For more great resources on parenting, check out Fuller Life’s on-line parenting magazine, [Growing Kids and Teens](http://www.scoop.it/t/growing-kids-and-teens "Growing Kids and Teens"). Also, check out our [Counseling Kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/ "Counseling Kids") and [Counseling with Teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/ "Counseling with Teens") pages for more resources and support. Cuda, Gretchen. (2010). Just Breathe: Body Has A Built-In Stress Reliever: http://www.npr.org/2010/12/06/131734718/just-breathe-body-has-a-built-in-stress-reliever [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n-150x150.jpg "400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/400200_149551671825296_100003113933224_211219_540758035_n.jpg)Contributed by: [Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC](http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) JenniferChristian [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) Mental Health Mindfulness Healing Trauma Anxiety Self Compassion **Categories:** Adolescents & Children, Breath Work, Emotions and Relationships, Parenting, Self-Care Practices, Sticky, Stress Management **Tags:** adolescents and children, breath work, emotions and relationships, mindfulness, parenting, self-care practices --- ### [How to Strengthen Our Bonds](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/strengthenbonds/) **Published:** May 27, 2014 **Author:** Lesley Anne Mendonça **Content:** [![canstockphoto19810356](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/canstockphoto19810356-e1401216377674.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/canstockphoto19810356-e1401216377674.jpg)As human beings, there are certain things that we require in order to live healthy, happy lives. We require food and drink for sustenance, sleep and exercise for physical stamina, and daily commitments for a healthy mind. It does not end there, however. We are hard-wired to crave emotional connection with others, and to belong to one another. Emotional connection is a basic human need. Our need for belonging can often go unnoticed or minimized in comparison to our day-to-day responsibilities. And in stressful times, our bonds can be the first thing to go! However, keeping strong bonds with one another is essential to living out healthy and happy lives. In psychology, the term ‘attachment’ often causes us to think of the bonds formed between babies and caregivers, as defined by John Bowlby decades ago. However, our need to attach to others remains *throughout* our lifetime. In modern psychology, adult attachment refers to emotional engagement, attention and responsiveness (Johnson, 2004, p. 33). Our need to reach out to others and feel connection and belonging remains **well** into adulthood, and our sense of well-being is intertwined with the strength of our bonds. The following tips can give us the help we sometimes need to keep our bonds strong and our connections open and flowing. **\[Incorporate vulnerability.\]** Vulnerability is one of the least pleasant feelings to experience, and yet it can do the most good for our relationships. [![Ten Guideposts](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/10-Guideposts_3-229x300.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/10-Guideposts_3-e1401216553348.jpeg) One easy tip to practice more [vulnerability ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-declutter-our-relationships/ "vulnerability")in our relationships is to simply change the *type* of conversations we have. When we spend a little more time admitting the honesty of our feelings with those we love, it often engages others and draws them in closer. It is possible, however, that some of our loved ones are not *yet* equipped to respond well to our vulnerable moments. If we choose to risk vulnerability with someone who responds poorly, we might begin to build even more walls. Therefore, it can help to notice those who respond to our feelings with empathy and care. We can then choose who we want to risk vulnerability with. Vulnerability researcher [Brene Brown](http://brenebrown.com/ "Brene Brown") has written countless books on this very subject, and offers guideposts on how to embrace vulnerability daily. Finally, we must learn to recognize when others are risking vulnerability and work to be emotionally accessible and responsive. This is *equally* as important in strengthening bonds. **\[Gain insight into the self.\]** Practicing [self-awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-awareness/ "self-awareness") will always be an asset to emotional health. To know oneself means to know ones strengths and limitations, and to know ones potential woundedness, as well. Our limitations, though uncomfortable to experience, serve as a beautiful access point for others to connect with us. We can also practice [mindfulness ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindfulness/ "mindfulness")of our moment-to-moment emotional state, and use our insight for more guided navigation in our relationships. Attachment theorist, Sue Johnson, points out that fear and uncertainty activate attachment needs. What this means is that when we are under duress, our need for connection grows even stronger. We can use this knowledge to our benefit by working to skillfully reach for support when we are most in need of it. Finally, we must not forget to [love ourselves](http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/forgive_yourself_save_your_relationship "love ourselves") and others, even when the going gets rough. Brene Brown shares, “How much we know and understand ourselves is critically important, but there is something that is even more essential…: loving ourselves.” **\[Lean into discomfort.\]** When we are able to find comfort in one another, it feeds our need for connection beautifully. In moments such as these, we can build on our experience. For example, we can notice when someone responds to us with empathy and intentionally thank them for their support. When we tell others how much their support means, we increase the likelihood for connection to occur again – thus strengthening the bond. We can also experience great *discomfort* in reaching out – especially if we are not responded to well. However, never fear the discomfort! It is in our least comfortable moments that we can do the most growing. The most important thing to realize is that [our goal](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/perfectionism/ "our goal") is to be connected, which might sometimes not involve instant comfort. However, comfort will grow with practice in the presence of empathy and compassion! Brown says that “vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.” In the process of strengthening our ties to one another, it is imperative to see the work we do through the lens of love. When our bonds are stressed, when we feel the pangs of disappointment, when our efforts towards vulnerability are thwarted – we need not be distracted from our purpose – love. We are not pursuing just any type of connection, we are pursuing loving connection. And we are fighting for the love in our lives, which will inevitably involve struggle, discomfort and frustration. We can thank these *growing pains* for the loving ties we have! Johnson, S. M. (2004). *Creating connection: The practice of emotionally focused couple therapy.* New York, NY: Routledge. [![Lesley Anne Mendonça](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Lesley-Photo-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Lesley-Photo.jpg) [Lesley Anne Mendonça,](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/lesley-anne-me%E2%80%A6lmft-associate/%20%E2%80%8E "Lesley Mendonça") M.A., LMFT-Associate, LPC-Intern Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, LMFT-S, LPC-S ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6838-e1631304820220.jpg) Lesley Anne Mendonça Lesley is a Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy. She practices individual, marital and family counseling, and has a background in ministry with adolescents. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lesleym/) Mental Health Play Therapy Relationships Parenting Family Therapy [ ![social network icon](data:image/svg+xml;base64,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) ](https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesleymendonca/) **Categories:** Compassion, Relationships, Self-Care Practices, Sticky **Tags:** bonding, Communication, connection, Empathy, relationships, self-awareness, self-compassion --- ## Pages ### [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) **Published:** March 14, 2012 **Author:** FullerLife **Content:** # Live Your Most Meaningful Life Providing Quality Affordable Therapy Virtual or In-person at one of our 5 Houston locations. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[855-245-LIFE](tel:+18552455433) ![Compassionate therapy; We offer quality affordable counseling in Houston & family therapy in Houston, with individual counseling, couples therapy, Somatic EMDR, play therapy and sex therapy online and at our 5 Houston locations.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/qtq80-0uZQnr.jpeg) ## Compassionate Therapy We know that you want to live a **meaningful life,** where emotional or relational **pain doesn’t define you.** Sometimes the pain is so overwhelming that you need professional and **compassionate therapy** to heal. We offer quality **affordable counseling** in **Houston** & **family therapy** in **Houston**, with individual counseling, couples therapy, Somatic EMDR, play therapy and sex therapy online and at our 5 Houston locations. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## ****Live Your Most Meaningful Life**** ## Providing Affordable Therapy Virtually or In Person [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) --- --- [LEARN MORE](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/yearend/) [DONATE NOW](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=1&Amount=) ## Don’t let the barriers to professional therapy keep you from living the life you dream of living. - Does the **[cost of therapy ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/)**prevent you from seeking professional therapy? - Are you **[uninsured](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/)** and concerned therapy is too expensive? - Do you feel and hopeless and alone, wondering “Is there **[help for me](http://therapy)**?” - Are you concerned about **time off from work** and need night or weekend therapy? - Does the **[cost of therapy ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/)**prevent you from seeking professional therapy? - Are you uninsured and concerned therapy is [**too expensive**?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) - Do you feel and hopeless and alone, wondering “Is there **[help for me](http://therapy)**?” - Are you concerned you’ll have to **take off of work** to get help? ## At Fuller Life, we know it’s hard to reach out, so we ensure our professional services are: #### ACCESSIBLE We have four locations in Houston, Texas, and can meet virtually via Telehealth within the state of Texas. [OUR LOCATIONS](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/) #### AFFORDABLE Our therapy fees are set uniquely for each person or family based on a sliding scale and the household income. [OUR FEES](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/forms-affordable-fees__trashed/affordable-counseling/) #### APPROPRIATE We tailor therapy types to your needs and will discuss options during our initial call. OUR SERVICES #### AVAILABLE We offer flexible hours, including nights and weekends. Same-day appointments are also available. [CONTACT US](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ![Couples therapy We offer quality affordable counseling in Houston & family therapy in Houston, with individual counseling, couples therapy, Somatic EMDR, play therapy and sex therapy online and at our 5 Houston locations.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/couple-ontake-canstockphoto42159405.jpg) ## Everyone deserves access to quality mental health care. Pain doesn’t discriminate between those with access to therapy and those without. We know how devastating it is when you can’t keep your head above water or get the care you need. [Learn More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) --- [![Fuller Life Logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Logo-high-res-300x81.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Logo-high-res.png) ## Fuller Life offers stellar therapy at rates anyone can afford. ## We come alongside you to help you heal and even grow from the pain that you carry. ## Ready for change? Here’s how it works: 1 ## Connect Contact us via our secure inquiry form, by email or by phone. [ Before the first visit… ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/before-the-first-session/) [2 ## Grow Meet with your therapist to grow and discover what’s really going on beneath the surface. Learn about our therapy…](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/) [3 ## Thrive Experience growth ready to live a meaningful life to the full. REQUEST AN APPOINTMENT ](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ![Fuller Life wellness We offer quality affordable counseling in Houston & family therapy in Houston, with individual counseling, couples therapy, Somatic EMDR, play therapy and sex therapy online and at our 5 Houston locations.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/wellness-canstockphoto19460505.jpg) ## Want to get our tips for a fuller life? Implementing these strategies will give you a head start on the hard but important work of changing your life. [Monthly Mental Wellness Tips](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=109) ## Ways you can join us Partner ## Are you an organization looking to provide therapy for your team? Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute partners with local organizations to provide (Employee Assistance Program) EAP-like benefits for their team through our Therapy Assistance Partnership Program (TAPP). [PARTNERSHIP PROGRAM ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tapp/) Give ## Are you interested in being a GIVER of mental health care? You can prevent people from living with their pain in isolation. To sustain our program, we need a generous community of givers who believe EVERYONE deserves access to mental health care. Become a [giver of mental health care](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/about/) so people can stop merely surviving and start truly living. [ DONATE NOW ](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=1&Amount=) Share ## Do you love to share with others? We create and curate tips for emotional, spiritual, mental, and cognitive health on a regular basis. Talk about our services in person or on social media. You never know who may be suffering silently. [ WELLNESS TIPS ](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=109) --- [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) [Donate Now](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=1&Amount=) --- ### [Mental Health Benefit Dinner](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/benefit/) **Published:** June 24, 2025 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** [![Logo reading 'Where Art Meets Heart' in ornate white script on a black background.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/where-are-meets-heart-white.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/where-are-meets-heart-white.png)A Mental Health Benefit Dinner [Sponsor the Event](https://givebutter.com/artHEART)[Buy tables or tickets](https://givebutter.com/artHEART) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/5-150x150.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/7-150x150.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/8-150x150.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/4-150x150.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/3-150x150.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/FAKE-LOGO-1-150x150.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/FAKE-LOGO-2-150x150.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/1-150x150.png) # **An Evening of Art and Music to Raise Mental Health Awareness** Join us for an unforgettable evening as we raise critical funds to make mental health care more accessible across Houston. **Where ART meets HEART** is a celebration of creativity, connection, and hope, featuring local art, live music, and a shared commitment to making mental health care accessible to all. # **Saturday, November 7m 2026, 7 PM** *MATCH GALLERY, Midtown Arts and Theatre Center Houston* 3400 Main St, Houston, TX 77002 *All proceeds from this evening benefit the **HEART Equity Fund (Helping Everyone Access Resources for Therapy).*** *Clients qualify for the HEART program by living at or below the Federal Poverty Level and pay what they can, averaging $15 per session, with the HEART Equity Fund covering the difference, closing the gap to a true session cost of $95.* *Attire: Cocktail* [BUY TICKETS OR TABLES](https://givebutter.com/artHEART) [SPONSOR THE EVENT](https://givebutter.com/artHEART) ## Local Art Showcase and Auction Experience the beauty of art with purpose. This curated collection features works from artists who use their creativity to honor mental health and healing. Each piece tells a story—and every bid brings hope. Proceeds from the auction support Fuller Life’s mission to make therapy more accessible for all. ## **Show Houston You Care About Mental Health** Become a champion for accessible mental health care by sponsoring or underwriting our event [SPONSOR THE EVENT](https://givebutter.com/artHEART) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/2022-GALA-PICS-13-1024x683.jpeg) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/2022-GALA-PICS-3-1024x683.jpeg) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/ALL-FL-team-2022-at-Gala-1024x683.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/2022-GALA-PICS-5-1024x683.jpeg) # Sponsorship Opportunities ## ANCHOR $20,000 **Provides** **225 HEART therapy sessions, supporting roughly 19 individuals or families.** - Premier Seating for 20 - 6 therapy sessions to use or donate - Top logo on all event communications and screens - Exclusive highlight in event program and slideshow - Logo on Website and Newsletter for one year - Full page ad in Program - Highlight on social media - Logo at top of event page - Host Recognition [ACTIVIST SPONSOR $20,000](https://givebutter.com/c/Starry--Night) ## ACTIVIST $10,000 **Provides 112 HEART therapy sessions, supporting roughly 9 individuals or families.** - Premier Seating for 20 - Large logo on all event communications and screens - Logo on Website and Newsletter for one year - Half-page ad in Program - Highlight on social media - Logo at top of event page - Host Recognition [ACTIVIST SPONSOR $10,000](https://givebutter.com/c/Starry--Night) ## AMBASSADOR $5,000 **Provides 50 HEART therapy sessions, supporting roughly 4 individuals or families.** - Seating for 10 - Medium logo on all event communications and screens - Logo on Website and Newsletter for one year - Quarter-page ad in Program - Highlight on social media - Logo at top of event page - Host Recognition [AMBASSADOR SPONSOR $5,000](https://givebutter.com/c/Starry--Night) ## ADVOCATE $2500 **Provides 21 HEART therapy sessions, supporting roughly 2 individuals or families.** - Seating for 10 - Medium logo on all event communications and screens - Logo at top of event page - Name in event program [ADVOCATE SPONSOR $2,500](https://givebutter.com/c/Starry--Night) ## ALLY $1250 **Funds 11 HEART therapy sessions, supporting roughly 1 individual or family.** - Seating for 5 - Small logo on all event communications and screens - Name in event program [ALLY SPONSOR $1250](https://givebutter.com/c/Starry--Night) # **UNDERWRITING OPPORTUNITIES** ## THE CANVAS $3,000 *Guiding the heart of the evening by underwriting the cost of **catering, venue OR speaker.*** ## **NORTH STAR** UNDERWRITING SPONSOR - Premier logo placement on all event materials - Verbal recognition during the program - Featured highlight on our website and newsletter for 1 year. - Full tax benefit from sponsorship. Underwrite the Event ## THE RED CARPET $1500 **Lighting up the atmosphere* with the thrill of live **music (DJ/Saxophonist**), the **vision (printing),** OR the toasting of transformation **(beverages).*** ## **SHOOTING STAR UNDERWRITING SPONSOR** - Logo placement on all event materials - Verbal recognition during the program - Full tax benefit from sponsorship. [Underwrite the Event](https://givebutter.com/artHEART) ## THE FESTIVITIES $1000 *Capturing the magic by underwriting the cost of **photography,** the **decor**, OR the creation of the **mental health video** to raise awareness.* ## RISING STAR UNDERWRITING SPONSOR - Small logo placement on the program - Name listed on the program. - Full tax benefit from sponsorship. [Underwrite the Event](https://givebutter.com/artHEART) # **Be a Table Host** ## Table Host $2000 - Seating for 10 - Name in Program [TABLE SPONSOR $1500](https://givebutter.com/c/Starry--Night)[INDIVIDUAL TICKETS ($150)](https://givebutter.com/c/Starry--Night)[COUPLE TICKETS ($280)](https://givebutter.com/c/Starry--Night) [BUY TICKETS OR TABLES](https://givebutter.com/c/Starry--Night)[SPONSOR THE EVENT](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=5&Amount=)[SPONSORSHIP PACKET](https://fullerlife.aflip.in/d348906645.html) ###### Benefits of Sponsorship ## Become a sponsor at the champion, activist or ambassador level and reach: ##### **over 12,000 monthly website visitors** ##### **over 3000 newsletter recipients** ##### **1200 people through event invitations** ##### **be featured prominently at our event** Sponsors who commit **before August 31, 2025** will have their logo included on the event invitation. Those committing before September 31 will have their logo on all event materials. If you have any questions or would like to pay via check to reduce online transaction fees, please email . ## Not ready to sponsor? Make a donation! [DONATE NOW](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=1&Amount=) --- ### [Mental health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mental-health/) **Published:** September 11, 2024 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** **Mental health matters**# Prioritize Your Mental Health Discover Balance, Build Resilience, and Thrive ## What is Mental Health Mental health refers to our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act, influencing how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices. A healthy mental state helps us navigate life’s challenges and build meaningful connections. ![Woman in Blue Long Sleeve Shirt Holding Pen](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/woman-in-blue-long-sleeve-shirt-holding-pen-4101206-200x300.jpg) ## Mental Health Warning Signs Some common warning signs of mental health issues include: - **Significant mood changes**, like feeling overly sad or irritable. - **Withdrawal from friends and activities**. - **Difficulty concentrating** or making decisions. - **Physical symptoms**, such as headaches, stomachaches, or lack of energy. unique list items while keeping a consistent phrasing style and similar line lengths ## Facts About Mental Health 1 in 5 **1 in 5 adults** experiences a mental health disorder each year. 50% **More than 50%** of people with mental health disorders do not receive treatment, often due to stigma or lack of access to care. 264 Million **Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide**, affecting over **264 million people** globally. 75% **Around 75% of lifetime mental illness** begins by age 24, highlighting the importance of early intervention. ## Types of Mental Health Disorders Mental health disorders are conditions that affect mood, thinking, and behavior. Common types include: anxiety disorders Conditions characterized by excessive worry, fear, or dread that interfere with daily activities. - Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) - Panic Disorder - Social Anxiety Disorder - Phobias learn more ### Mood disorders Disorders that primarily affect an individual’s emotional state, leading to periods of intense emotions, either overly elevated or prolonged sadness. - Depression - Bipolar Disorder - Cyclothymic Disorder Call To Action personality disorders Long-term patterns of thoughts and behaviors that are unhealthy and inflexible, causing problems in relationships and social functioning. - Borderline Personality - Narcissistic Personality - Antisocial Personality learn more ### **Trauma and Stressor-Related Disorde**rs Disorders that develop after exposure to a traumatic or stressful event. - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) - Acute Stress Disorder - Adjustment Disorder Call To Action ### **neurobiological disorders** Conditions typically diagnosed in childhood that affect developmental milestones, behavior, and learning. - Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) - Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) - Learning Disorders learn more ### **psychotic Disorders** Disorders that disrupt a person’s thoughts and perceptions, often resulting in losing touch with reality. - Schizophrenia - Schizoaffective Disorder - Delusional Disorder Call To Action Other disorders not listed include **Eating Disorders** (such as Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia Nervosa) and **Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders** (such as Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Hoarding Disorder). ## Write a clear and relevant header to keep your visitors engaged ![Person in White Long Sleeve Shirt Holding Silver and Black Scissors](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/person-in-white-long-sleeve-shirt-holding.jpeg) Give your list item a title ### Write a short and relevant headline Use this short paragraph to write a supporting description of your list item. Remember to let your readers know why this list item is essential. Call To Action ![Man in White Crew Neck T-shirt Standing Beside Window](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/man-in-white-crew-neck-t-shirt-standing.jpeg) Give your list item a title ### Write a short and relevant headline Use this short paragraph to write a supporting description of your list item. Remember to let your readers know why this list item is essential. Call To Action ![Man in Black Sweater Sitting on Brown Wooden Chair](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/man-in-black-sweater-sitting-on-brown.jpeg) Give your list item a title ### Write a short and relevant headline Use this short paragraph to write a supporting description of your list item. Remember to let your readers know why this list item is essential. Call To Action ![Woman in White Long Sleeve Shirt](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/woman-in-white-long-sleeve-shirt.jpeg) Give your list item a title ### Write a short and relevant headline Use this short paragraph to write a supporting description of your list item. Remember to let your readers know why this list item is essential. Call To Action ###### Add an overline text Add an overline text ## Write a short and relevant headline Use a clear and attention-grabbing short paragraph to engage your audience and draw them into reading the rest of your content. ### Mood Disorders Disorders that primarily affect an individual’s emotional state, leading to periods of intense emotions, either overly elevated or prolonged sadness. Depression Bipolar Disorder Cyclothymic Disorder ### Add a single and succinct list item Add unique list items while keeping a consistent phrasing style and similar line lengths ### Add a single and succinct list item Add unique list items while keeping a consistent phrasing style and similar line lengths ### Add a single and succinct list item Add unique list items while keeping a consistent phrasing style and similar line lengths ### Add a single and succinct list item Add unique list items while keeping a consistent phrasing style and similar line lengths ### Add a single and succinct list item Add unique list items while keeping a consistent phrasing style and similar line lengths ###### Write a short and relevant headline ###### Write a short and relevant headline ###### Write a short and relevant headline ###### Write a short and relevant headline Add an overline text ## Tell your story in numbers, and give your visitors useful insights. Make an impact, and share your organization’s stats or achievements to interest your website visitors into learning more about you. **Stat title** ****Stat title**** ****Stat title**** - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/woman-in-black-long-sleeve-shirt-sitting-on-brown-wooden-chair-4098369-683x1024.jpg) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/white-and-silver-chair-beside-clear-drinking-glass-on-glass-table-4098232-683x1024.jpg) ## Add a short headline Use this space to provide your website visitors with a brief description on what to expect before clicking on a section title. Add a section title that is relevant for your readers. By default, this panel is concealed and appears when the user clicks on the section title. Input relevant information about its title using paragraphs or bullet points. Accordions can enhance the user experience when utilized effectively. They allow users to choose what they want to read and disregard the rest. Accordions are often utilized for frequently asked questions (FAQs). Add a section title that is relevant for your readers. By default, this panel is concealed and appears when the user clicks on the section title. Input relevant information about its title using paragraphs or bullet points. Accordions can enhance the user experience when utilized effectively. They allow users to choose what they want to read and disregard the rest. Accordions are often utilized for frequently asked questions (FAQs). Add a section title that is relevant for your readers. By default, this panel is concealed and appears when the user clicks on the section title. Input relevant information about its title using paragraphs or bullet points. Accordions can enhance the user experience when utilized effectively. They allow users to choose what they want to read and disregard the rest. Accordions are often utilized for frequently asked questions (FAQs). Add a section title that is relevant for your readers. By default, this panel is concealed and appears when the user clicks on the section title. Input relevant information about its title using paragraphs or bullet points. Accordions can enhance the user experience when utilized effectively. They allow users to choose what they want to read and disregard the rest. Accordions are often utilized for frequently asked questions (FAQs). ## Add a short & sweet headline Craft a captivating title for this section to attract your audience. Call To Action ## Write a short headline Call To Action ## Add a compelling title for your section to engage your audience. Use this paragraph section to get your website visitors to know you. Consider writing about you or your organization, the products or services you offer, or why you exist. Keep a consistent communication style. Call To Action - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/man-in-black-hoodie-sitting-on-brown-couch-4100420-683x1024.jpg) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/person-in-black-jacket-and-gray-denim-jeans-4100422-683x1024.jpg) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/2-women-sitting-on-brown-wooden-chair-4101137-1024x683.jpg) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Example-Background-Image-1024x672-1.jpg) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/person-holding-brown-framed-eyeglasses-4098340-683x1024.jpg) ## Mental Health Warning Signs - Some common warning signs of mental health issues include: **Significant mood changes**, like feeling overly sad or irritable. **Withdrawal from friends and activities**. **Difficulty concentrating** or making decisions. **Physical symptoms**, such as headaches, stomachaches, or lack of energy. unique list items while keeping a consistent phrasing style and similar line lengths - Add unique list items while keeping a consistent phrasing style and similar line lengths - Add unique list items while keeping a consistent phrasing style and similar line lengths ## Give your list item a title - Add unique list items while keeping a consistent phrasing style and similar line lengths - Add unique list items while keeping a consistent phrasing style and similar line lengths - Add unique list items while keeping a consistent phrasing style and similar line lengths --- ### [Mental Health Prayer Retreat](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/retreat/) **Published:** March 19, 2025 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** ## Mental Health Prayer Retreat ## Join us for a spiritual retreat designed to restore, renew, and refresh your mind, heart, soul, and body in honor of Mental Health Awareness Month. ![labyrinth](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/retreat-labyrinth-1.jpeg) ### **Join Us for a Mental Health Prayer Retreat** ### **Date:** Saturday, May 30th, 2026 **Time:** 9:30 AM – 1:30 PM **Location:** The Anchor House, Center for Christian Spirituality, 11110 Greenbay St., Houston, Texas Registration Fee is $60. **Lunch is included.** [Register Here](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=126) --- ## Rest. Reconnect. Renew. Our prayer retreat on May 30, 2026, will focus on the ancient prayers of Psalms and promote mental and emotional wellness. ![mental health prayer month may 2025](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/MH-prayer-image-without-words.png) Contemplative practices blending mindfulness and prayer ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/istockphoto-1450422183-612x612-1.jpg) silence – time to reflect, rest and reconnect with god and yourself ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/qtq80-iBZHZo.jpeg) guided sensory experiential Activities drawing you into the presence of God ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/qtq80-FhWPPM.jpeg) sound bath meditation experience ###### Retreat guide ## Dr. Amy Fuller **Guided by Dr. Amy Fuller, a Certified Spiritual Director, with nearly 30 years of experience in mental health, this retreat will blend scripture, silence, sensory prayer activities,** **mindfulness, and contemplative prayer to guide you into a deeper awareness of God’s presence, cultivating greater mental clarity and emotional peace. Lunch is included.** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Amy-Fuller-Selfie-Headshot-5-9-24.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) --- ### [Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-therapy/) **Published:** December 17, 2016 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** [Sacred Sexuality](http://sextherapy.amyfullerphd.com) --- ### [40X40 hope collective](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/hope/) **Published:** August 30, 2024 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** ![prayer collective](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Copy-of-40x40-card-800-x-300-px-1920-x-1080-px.png) [![sign up](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/2.png)](https://qrco.de/bfJUgO) ## [Join us in praying for 31 days together for mental health. ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/may/ "31 Days of Prayer for Mental Health – Hope Collective") [Click here.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/may/ "31 Days of Prayer for Mental Health – Hope Collective") - **After surviving a major trauma, 15-year-old Jacob, felt isolated,** **unsure anyone could understand what he was going through.** **When he joined Fuller Life’s therapy group, he was cautious and hesitant to speak up,** **But as the group session went on, he realized he wasn’t alone.** **He listened to others with similar experiences, and a spark of hope ignited.** ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Group-therapy-video-for-40x40-2.mp4) After the group he was smiling, eager to return and told his dad, ***“That was great! I didn’t feel like I was the only one anymore!”*** Jacob’s story is just one of the countless lives transformed by Fuller Life’s affordable therapy services and our therapy partnerships. At Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, we believe that everyone deserves the chance to heal, grow, and thrive—regardless of financial circumstances. # **Helping people like Jacob is our mission.** # **We want to do more, and we’ve developed a bold new plan.** # **So we are asking for your prayers.** [](https://startertemplatecloud.com/e28/#) [![sign up](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/2.png)](https://qrco.de/bfJUgO) [![strategic plan team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Strategic-plan-photos-nov-2023-6-1024x560.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Strategic-plan-photos-nov-2023-6.png) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Strategic-plan-photos-nov-2023-4-1024x768.png) how it began… ## A NEw Vision **Jacob’s story shows the power of affordable mental health care, but we know there are so many more like him who need help.** In November 2023, 10 dedicated individuals gathered with a clear vision emerging: **communities saturated with affordable mental health care and highly trained family therapists.** Together, over the past 10 months, we’ve crafted a bold new strategic plan to expand our reach and double our impact. Our plan includes bold key results and a detailed scorecard to keep us on track. Months later… ## A New Plan When we shared this vision with the rest of our team, one of our therapists, moved by both the potential and the scale of what we’re aiming for, suggested something that really struck a chord with all of us**.** **Her suggestion was powerful: 40 Days of Prayer.** So, starting **October 1 through November 9, 2024**, we will follow this call to action, committing this plan to prayer and asking for guidance every step of the way. **This is where you come in!** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Valuations-aug-2024-1-1-1024x709.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Valuations-aug-2024-1-1.png) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/40x40-banners6.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/40x40-banners6.png) [![hope collective logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Hope-Collective-Logo2-1-e1725807489100.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Hope-Collective-Logo2-1-e1725807489100.png) ## Join the HOPE Collective **Would you join 40 people committed to praying each day for 40 days** over our new strategic plan? Each day, from October 1 to November 9, 2024, you’ll receive a prayer focus and verse to guide you as you pray for Fuller Life and the specifics of our future hopes. If you feel inspired, you can even contribute a reflection for the 40 days ahead of time. **Join us today** with the link below to join the HOPE Collective and start this powerful prayer journey. [![sign up](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/2.png)](https://qrco.de/bfJUgO) ## Our Stategic Initiatives 2024-2028 ## **Our strategic plan focuses on expanding access to mental health services and family therapy, doubling our therapy services and the size of our training program by 2028. Specifically, we will strategically extend care into underserved populations, empower our therapists and board, build financial sustainability and develop community partnerships, ensuring we can continue providing affordable professional care to all people.** ## Expanding Access to Mental Health Services to underserved populations - Double availability of reduced fee therapy in Houston - Grow HEART Equity Program to provide therapy for below poverty families. - Partner with local churches and organizations to reach underserved. - Extend outreach to underserved and vulnerable communities . - Boost online visibility and resources - Strenghten community presence through speaking and networking ## Empowering Our Team of Therapists and Board - Engage and double our Board size to align with strategic goals. - Enhance team well-being, communication and efficacy - Implement new mentorship program with graduates - Finesse board recruitment and assessment process - Effectively track team metrics to increase efficacy; didactic units; - Recruit diverse therapists - Double size of training program by 2026 while maintaining quality of training ## Ensuring Financial Sustainability and Growing Partnerships - Submit 24 grants a year - Hire Executive Director - Effective, impactful Gala in 2025; wellness dinners and year end campaigns - Nurture and cultivate new GEMS (Give Every Month) Community - Establish and support new (TAPP) partnerships with nonprofits, churches and schools for individual and group therapy ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/DALLE-2024-09-08-024020-A-modern-and-vibrant-banner-featuring-a-natural-collage-of-smiling-faces-inspired-by-the-40x40-Hope-Collective-banner-Use-purple-and-green-brand-col.webp)OUR MISSION **We train, equip, and empower developing therapists who provide professional therapy to families and individuals at affordable rates.** ## At Fuller Life, we are committed to making therapy accessible to all people, so we ensure our professional services are: #### ACCESSIBLE We have two locations in Houston, Texas and can meet virtually via Telehealth within the state of Texas. [OUR LOCATIONS](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/) #### AFFORDABLE Our therapy fees are set uniquely for each person or family based on a sliding scale and the household income. [OUR FEES](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/forms-affordable-fees__trashed/affordable-counseling/) #### APPROPRIATE We offer different types and forms of therapy services depending on the need. We discuss this in our initial call. OUR SERVICES #### AVAILABLE We offer flexible hours, including nights and weekends. Same day appointments are also available, [CONTACT US](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) --- [DONATE NOW](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/YEAREND/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/gem-canstockphoto3932748-1024x877.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/gem-canstockphoto3932748.jpg) ##### WE WANT YOU TO ## Be a Fuller Life GEM Join our generous community of Fuller Life GEMS! Our GEM’s Give Every Month and are the backbone of our ability to provide therapy services to all people regardless of their ability to pay. DONATE MONTHLY --- ### [Become a Fuller Life GEM and shine bright for Mental Health in Houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gem/) **Published:** March 10, 2024 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** # Are you passionate about Mental Health? **Become a fuller Life GEM and shine bright for mental health** [Become a GEM today](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=4&Amount=) Become a Fuller Life **GEM**—Give Every Month at **$25 or more**—to expand access to mental health care in Houston. *******“For the first time, I don’t feel like I’m just surviving.”******* *Jasmine* Fuller Life Client ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/GEMS-image-2025-shutterstock_2181819981-scaled.jpg) When *Jasmine* first reached out to Fuller Life, she was 25 and overwhelmed. Years of emotional and verbal abuse had taken their toll. PTSD had forced her to leave college. She was working two jobs just to pay rent, at home with her parents, where the pain hadn’t stopped. Therapy felt like a luxury she could never afford. **But someone like you gave.** And that made space for Jasmine to receive therapy through our HEART (Helping Everyone Access Resources for Therapy) Equity Fund—a scholarship program for those facing financial hardship. She came each week. She showed up, even when she was exhausted. Slowly, her symptoms began to ease. **She could breathe again. Sleep again. Hope again.** After six months of therapy, Jasmine moved into her own place for the first time. When she had her feet back under her, she told her Fuller Life therapist she didn’t need to be a HEART scholarship client anymore. She wanted to start paying more. ****“I still can’t afford the full fee,” she said, “but I want to give back. I want someone else to have what I had.”**** *Jasmine’s story is based on an actual Fuller Life client whose name has been changed for privacy.* This is what healing looks like. And this is the impact our GEMS Community makes possible—every single month. [Become a Fuller Life GEM!](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=4&Amount=) ## Why become a GEM? Meet our cherished GEMS community. These 50 individuals and families who give out of their own pocket **every month** to help ensure mental health care and family therapy is a resource accessible and available to all people, not just those with resources. Would you support affordable mental health care in Houston as a Fuller Life GEM? ## GEMS Make Therapy Affordable [Thanks to generous donors and foundations, our sliding scale meets each client with rates they can afford. When clients face financial hardship, the HEART *(Helping Everyone Access Resources for Therapy)* Equity Fund subsidizes therapy.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) [Affordable Therapy Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ## GEMS Empower Therapists to Change Lives [We are not just another counseling agency. Since 2012, we have been changing the way therapists are trained. Our therapists commit to 4 times the required amount of clinical supervision. GEM support encourages our team.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) [Our unique training model](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/) ## Join 41 others in the GEMS Community [Join a group of 41 other individuals or couples passionate about the mission of Fuller Life. More than half of our GEMs are also part of the HOPE Collective, a group of people committed to prayer, as we collectively meet the mental health crisis in prayer.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) [The Hope Collective](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/may/) ## GEMS help drive our mission forward [Our ambitious strategic plan aims to double our impact by the end of 2027. This goal will not be possible without the support of ongoing, continuous support to help sustain our growth and ensure professional and quality mental health care and family therapy for underserved communities.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) Join our GEMS in community of 50 monthly donors. [Our goal is 10 new GEMs giving $50 or more. ](https://xoeyed-bear-defo.instawp.xyz/) ***GOAL: 10 NEW GEMS*** ***Praying for 9 more*** --- ***Starting Monthly GEMS Gift: $3500* / GOAL: $4000*****Current Monthly GEMS Gift: $3500*** --- Current Fuller Life GEMs giving 25 or more each month for mental health: **GOAL by JUNE, 2025:** 60 GEMS or $4500 Funds provided each month to support our mission by our cherished Fuller LIfe GEMS ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/GEM-campaign-image-Slider-1170-x-920-px-11.png) Would you be willing to make a difference for mental health by giving $25 **or more** as a Fuller Life GEM? Together, we can make a difference—one GEM at a time. Join the Fuller Life GEM community today and shine bright with us! [Become a GEM today](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=4&Amount=) ## Our Vision and Strategic Plan Our aim is to double our impact from 2024 to 2028 ## **Expanding Mental Health Access** [Thanks to supporters like you, we’re working to double the number of clients we serve by 2028. Your monthly gift ensures individuals and families in Houston receive affordable, high-quality therapy when they need it most.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ## ****Training the Next Generation**** [We are shaping the future of mental health care by training diverse, compassionate therapists. Your support fuels intensive supervision, specialized training, and mentorship equiping the next generation for lifelong impact.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ## ****Building Stronger Communities**** [Through strategic nonprofit partnerships, we’re extending therapy beyond our walls. Your giving helps us partner with local organizations to bring mental health care to underserved neighborhoods across Houston.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ## Hear from our Graduates, Board and Team what it means to become a Fuller Life GEM! ## “ ##### “When you become a GEM it means you’re investing in people’s healing journeys every single month. It may feel small, but your gift is part of something much bigger — helping make therapy possible for people who might not otherwise be able to afford it.” ###### Fuller Life Therapist ## Hear from some of our amazing Fuller Life GEMS! ## “ ##### “I love being a GEM because it’s such an easy way to support Fuller Life and the amazing work they’re doing. For about the price of a cup of coffee each month, I get to help make therapy more accessible for people here in Houston. It’s a small gift that adds up to something really meaningful.” ###### Theresa Strong Fuller Life GEM ## “ ##### Being a GEM means being part of a community that’s making a difference every single month. It’s not about how much you give — it’s about showing up consistently to help make therapy possible for people who really need it. Together, our small gifts become something really powerful. ###### Bridgett Edgar and Dominque Fuller Life GEMs ## “ ##### “I’m a GEM because I believe in what Fuller Life is doing. Even a small monthly gift helps make therapy available to people who might not otherwise have access. It’s a simple way to be part of bringing healing and hope to our community.” ###### Elizabeth Matthews Fuller Life GEM ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/qtq80-lMD9aX-1024x683.jpeg) GIVE MEANINGFULLY, GIVE MONTHLY ## How do you join our Fuller Life GEM community? 01 ## Sign up on our website as a monthly donor. [Become a Fuller Life GEM](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=4&Amount=) 02 ## Spread the word! **Share this campaign with your friends, family, and colleagues who share our passion for mental health and community empowerment.** 03 ## Stay Connected! **Follow us on social media for updates, stories, and inspiring testimonials from those whose lives you’re impacting.** - [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/FullerLifeFamilyTherapy) - [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/fullerlifefamilyinstitute/) - [LinkedIn](https://www.linkedin.com/company/3595830/admin/feed/posts/) ## **2025 Impact** - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![Neighbors in Action](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) Thanks to supporters like you, in 2025, Fuller Life has seen growth in our **therapy program:** **individuals** participating in reduced fee therapy growth in the number of **TAPP Sessions** increase in the number of **HEART clients** increase in number of **new Clients** this year Thanks to supporters like you, in 2025, Fuller Life has seen growth in our **training program:** increase in the number of **therapists in training,** rising from 5 to 9. Hours of Clinical **Supervision** **Increase in speaking Engagements-** raising awareness and reducing stigma (from 6 to 12) Thanks to supporters like you, in 2025, Fuller Life has seen growth in our **outreach program:** Increase in The number of **TAPP Partnerships,** expanding from 14 to 20 Increase in community fairs…from **6 to 26 community fairs**. days of Prayer for mental health Grew the **HOPE Prayer Collective** with an Increase from 106 to 209 praying people Participated in our first ever **Mental Health Prayer Retreat** with rave reviews. Thanks to supporters like you, in 2025, Fuller Life has seen growth in our **organizational strategic aims:** Fuller Life GEMS give every month, a 37% increase in the **Number of GEMS** and 56% increase in the amount given Items in our newly Designed/implemented robust internal **financial controls** Raised in our first ever stellar art auction and **mental health benefit** – raising funds for 18 new HEART clients. requested via **26 grants** to fund our programs. *1 awarded, 10 denied, 15 Pending for 317K.* [See Our Outcomes](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/) [Become a Fuller Life GEM](http://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=4&Amount=↗) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![Neighbors in Action](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) ## Frequently Asked Questions Where does my donation go? Your monthly gift supports our general operating fund, which makes it possible to provide affordable therapy, train future therapists, and expand mental health access across Houston. We’re proud to invest 88% in programs, with only 6% each going to administration and development. How is my Donation Processed? Most GEMS set up donations by credit or debit card, billed at the beginning or end of each month. While we also accept Zelle, PayPal, and checks, monthly GEMS are typically set up for automatic credit/debit payments for ease and consistency. **Can I change, cancel, or update my donation?** Absolutely. You can update, pause, or cancel your donation anytime. Just email margarita@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org or call 713-234-6755. To update your credit card, you can provide your new card securely over the phone or request an encrypted authorization form through our secure portal. **Do I need to renew my donation each year?** Nope—your monthly donation will continue automatically unless you choose to change it. Can I give Annually instead of monthly? Yes! If you prefer, you can select “annually” in the dropdown menu when you set up your donation. Annual GEMS receive the same gratitude, updates, and recognition as monthly donors. We hold your annual gift in a separate account and transfer the funds in each month as part of our GEMS process. is my donation tax-deductible? Yes! Fuller Life is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit—our EIN is 45-4267651. We’ll send you an itemized annual giving statement every January for your tax records. how do you ensure transparency for donors? We follow strict internal controls and written financial policies. You can view our 990s on our [Candid profile, where we hold Platinum Transparency status](https://app.candid.org/profile/9372142/fuller-life-family-therapy-institute/?pkId=21c867bd-b646-4269-af3d-ae4c499a05d7&isActive=true), and visit our Impact page to see annual income and expense reports. **How do I** stay connected or help in other ways? GEMs receive regular updates filled with stories, impact highlights, invitations to events, monthly resources, and handwritten birthday cards—because your support truly matters to us. You can also help by [joining our Board](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/Information-for-Potential-Board-Members.pdf), serving on an Advisory Committee (Development or Finance), or meeting practical needs through our [Amazon Wish List. ](https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/13XZR5P1XJEGD?ref_=list_d_wl_lfu_nav_3)We love to have volunteers to help with annually events such as our open house, prayer campaigns and annual dinners. fuller life gems ## Donations that Shine [Become a GEM today](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=4&Amount=) I’m a GEM because I believe in what Fuller Life is doing. Even a small monthly gift helps make therapy available to people who might not otherwise have access. It’s a simple way to be part of bringing healing and hope to our community.” ###### Elizabeth Matthews Fuller Life GEM Being a GEM means being part of a community that’s making a difference every single month. It’s not about how much you give — it’s about showing up consistently to help make therapy possible for people who really need it. Together, our small gifts become something really powerful. ###### Bridgett Edgar and Dominque Fuller Life GEMs “I love being a GEM because it’s such an easy way to support Fuller Life and the amazing work they’re doing. For about the price of a cup of coffee each month, I get to help make therapy more accessible for people here in Houston. It’s a small gift that adds up to something really meaningful.” ###### Theresa Strong Fuller Life GEM --- ### [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gems2025/) **Published:** May 5, 2026 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** # Are you passionate about Mental Health? **Become a fuller Life GEM and shine bright for mental health** [Become a GEM today](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=4&Amount=) **Double Your Impact! Match Ends July 31**! Become a Fuller Life **GEM**—Give Every Month at **$25 or more**—to expand access to mental health care in Houston. Until July 31, your first month’s gift will be matched, making your impact go twice as far! *******“For the first time, I don’t feel like I’m just surviving.”******* *Jasmine* Fuller Life Client ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/GEMS-image-2025-shutterstock_2181819981-scaled.jpg) When *Jasmine* first reached out to Fuller Life, she was 25 and overwhelmed. Years of emotional and verbal abuse had taken their toll. PTSD had forced her to leave college. She was working two jobs just to pay rent, at home with her parents, where the pain hadn’t stopped. Therapy felt like a luxury she could never afford. **But someone like you gave.** And that made space for Jasmine to receive therapy through our HEART (Helping Everyone Access Resources for Therapy) Equity Fund—a scholarship program for those facing financial hardship. She came each week. She showed up, even when she was exhausted. Slowly, her symptoms began to ease. **She could breathe again. Sleep again. Hope again.** After six months of therapy, Jasmine moved into her own place for the first time. When she had her feet back under her, she told her Fuller Life therapist she didn’t need to be a HEART scholarship client anymore. She wanted to start paying more. ****“I still can’t afford the full fee,” she said, “but I want to give back. I want someone else to have what I had.”**** *Jasmine’s story is based on an actual Fuller Life client whose name has been changed for privacy.* This is what healing looks like. And this is the impact our GEMS Community makes possible—every single month. [Become a Fuller Life GEM!](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=4&Amount=) ## Why become a GEM? Meet our cherished GEMS community. These 50 individuals and families who give out of their own pocket **every month** to help ensure mental health care and family therapy is a resource accessible and available to all people, not just those with resources. Would you support affordable mental health care in Houston as a Fuller Life GEM? ## GEMS Make Therapy Affordable [Thanks to generous donors and foundations, our sliding scale meets each client with rates they can afford. When clients face financial hardship, the HEART *(Helping Everyone Access Resources for Therapy)* Equity Fund subsidizes therapy.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) [Affordable Therapy Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ## GEMS Empower Therapists to Change Lives [We are not just another counseling agency. Since 2012, we have been changing the way therapists are trained. Our therapists commit to 4 times the required amount of clinical supervision. GEM support encourages our team.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) [Our unique training model](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/) ## Join 41 others in the GEMS Community [Join a group of 41 other individuals or couples passionate about the mission of Fuller Life. More than half of our GEMs are also part of the HOPE Collective, a group of people committed to prayer, as we collectively meet the mental health crisis in prayer.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) [The Hope Collective](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/may/) ## GEMS help drive our mission forward [Our ambitious strategic plan aims to double our impact by the end of 2027. This goal will not be possible without the support of ongoing, continuous support to help sustain our growth and ensure professional and quality mental health care and family therapy for underserved communities.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ### We started with 41 GEMS in May 2025 with $2102 in monthly GEMS gifts. ### Our goal is 25 new GEMs giving $25 or more. **Due to a one-time matching donor for up to $1000 for any new GEM or increased gift by a current GEM, we’ve extended our campaign to July 31, 2025** [Take advantage of our Matching Donation and become a GEM before July 31, 2025! ](https://xoeyed-bear-defo.instawp.xyz/) ***GOAL: 25 NEW GEMS*** ***Praying for 9 more*** --- ***Starting Monthly GEMS Gift: $2102* / GOAL: $4000*****Current Monthly GEMS Gift: $31***70 --- ***Matching Gift: One time matching Gift for any new GEM or Increased GEM Gift.*** **$235/$1000** --- Current Fuller Life GEMs giving 25 or more each month for mental health: **GOAL by JULY 31, 2025: 65** Funds provided each month to support our mission by our cherished Fuller LIfe GEMS Total applied in matching gift. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/GEM-campaign-image-Slider-1170-x-920-px-11.png) Would you be willing to make a difference for mental health by giving $25 **or more** as a Fuller Life GEM? Together, we can make a difference—one GEM at a time. Join the Fuller Life GEM community today and shine bright with us! [Become a GEM today](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=4&Amount=) ## Our Vision and Strategic Plan Our aim is to double our impact from 2024 to 2028 ## **Expanding Mental Health Access** [Thanks to supporters like you, we’re working to double the number of clients we serve by 2028. Your monthly gift ensures individuals and families in Houston receive affordable, high-quality therapy when they need it most.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ## ****Training the Next Generation**** [We are shaping the future of mental health care by training diverse, compassionate therapists. Your support fuels intensive supervision, specialized training, and mentorship equiping the next generation for lifelong impact.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ## ****Building Stronger Communities**** [Through strategic nonprofit partnerships, we’re extending therapy beyond our walls. Your giving helps us partner with local organizations to bring mental health care to underserved neighborhoods across Houston.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ## Hear from our Graduates, Board and Team what it means to become a Fuller Life GEM! ## “ ##### “When you become a GEM it means you’re investing in people’s healing journeys every single month. It may feel small, but your gift is part of something much bigger — helping make therapy possible for people who might not otherwise be able to afford it.” ###### Fuller Life Therapist ## Hear from some of our amazing Fuller Life GEMS! ## “ ##### “I love being a GEM because it’s such an easy way to support Fuller Life and the amazing work they’re doing. For about the price of a cup of coffee each month, I get to help make therapy more accessible for people here in Houston. It’s a small gift that adds up to something really meaningful.” ###### Theresa Strong Fuller Life GEM ## “ ##### Being a GEM means being part of a community that’s making a difference every single month. It’s not about how much you give — it’s about showing up consistently to help make therapy possible for people who really need it. Together, our small gifts become something really powerful. ###### Bridgett Edgar and Dominque Fuller Life GEMs ## “ ##### “I’m a GEM because I believe in what Fuller Life is doing. Even a small monthly gift helps make therapy available to people who might not otherwise have access. It’s a simple way to be part of bringing healing and hope to our community.” ###### Elizabeth Matthews Fuller Life GEM ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/qtq80-lMD9aX-1024x683.jpeg) GIVE MEANINGFULLY, GIVE MONTHLY ## How do you join our Fuller Life GEM community? 01 ## Sign up on our website as a monthly donor. [Become a Fuller Life GEM](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=4&Amount=) 02 ## Spread the word! **Share this campaign with your friends, family, and colleagues who share our passion for mental health and community empowerment.** 03 ## Stay Connected! **Follow us on social media for updates, stories, and inspiring testimonials from those whose lives you’re impacting.** - [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/FullerLifeFamilyTherapy) - [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/fullerlifefamilyinstitute/) - [LinkedIn](https://www.linkedin.com/company/3595830/admin/feed/posts/) ## 2024 IMPACT ## 6 Graduates of our intensive program ## $91,832 HEART funding applied to subsidize the see fee ## 41 new GEMs supporting our mission monthly ## 109 in the HOPE Collective praying for 40 days for our strategic plan ## 4.7/5 Overall rating for supervision focus, alliance, and satisfaction ## 9.5/10 Overall rating of clients for therapeutic alliance, focus, and goals ## Frequently Asked Questions Where does my donation go? Your monthly gift supports our general operating fund, which makes it possible to provide affordable therapy, train future therapists, and expand mental health access across Houston. We’re proud to invest 88% in programs, with only 6% each going to administration and development. How is my Donation Processed? Most GEMS set up donations by credit or debit card, billed at the beginning or end of each month. While we also accept Zelle, PayPal, and checks, monthly GEMS are typically set up for automatic credit/debit payments for ease and consistency. **Can I change, cancel, or update my donation?** Absolutely. You can update, pause, or cancel your donation anytime. Just email margarita@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org or call 713-234-6755. To update your credit card, you can provide your new card securely over the phone or request an encrypted authorization form through our secure portal. **Do I need to renew my donation each year?** Nope—your monthly donation will continue automatically unless you choose to change it. Can I give Annually instead of monthly? Yes! If you prefer, you can select “annually” in the dropdown menu when you set up your donation. Annual GEMS receive the same gratitude, updates, and recognition as monthly donors. We hold your annual gift in a separate account and transfer the funds in each month as part of our GEMS process. is my donation tax-deductible? Yes! Fuller Life is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit—our EIN is 45-4267651. We’ll send you an itemized annual giving statement every January for your tax records. how do you ensure transparency for donors? We follow strict internal controls and written financial policies. You can view our 990s on our [Candid profile, where we hold Platinum Transparency status](https://app.candid.org/profile/9372142/fuller-life-family-therapy-institute/?pkId=21c867bd-b646-4269-af3d-ae4c499a05d7&isActive=true), and visit our Impact page to see annual income and expense reports. **How do I** stay connected or help in other ways? GEMs receive regular updates filled with stories, impact highlights, invitations to events, monthly resources, and handwritten birthday cards—because your support truly matters to us. You can also help by [joining our Board](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/Information-for-Potential-Board-Members.pdf), serving on an Advisory Committee (Development or Finance), or meeting practical needs through our [Amazon Wish List. ](https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/13XZR5P1XJEGD?ref_=list_d_wl_lfu_nav_3)We love to have volunteers to help with annually events such as our open house, prayer campaigns and annual dinners. fuller life gems ## Donations that Shine [Become a GEM today](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=4&Amount=) I’m a GEM because I believe in what Fuller Life is doing. Even a small monthly gift helps make therapy available to people who might not otherwise have access. It’s a simple way to be part of bringing healing and hope to our community.” ###### Elizabeth Matthews Fuller Life GEM Being a GEM means being part of a community that’s making a difference every single month. It’s not about how much you give — it’s about showing up consistently to help make therapy possible for people who really need it. Together, our small gifts become something really powerful. ###### Bridgett Edgar and Dominque Fuller Life GEMs “I love being a GEM because it’s such an easy way to support Fuller Life and the amazing work they’re doing. For about the price of a cup of coffee each month, I get to help make therapy more accessible for people here in Houston. It’s a small gift that adds up to something really meaningful.” ###### Theresa Strong Fuller Life GEM --- ### [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gratitude100/) **Published:** May 1, 2026 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** --- ### [Our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/) **Published:** March 14, 2012 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** ## The Fuller Life Team Our Houston-based licensed therapists are committed to clinical excellence, completing four times the continuing education required for licensure. Meet our team of therapists and board leaders providing affordable, culturally responsive mental health services in Houston. Fuller Life Family Therapy serves children, teens, couples, and families across the Greater Houston area with compassionate, high-quality counseling and family therapy. [Request An Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)855-245-5433 [Our Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/)[About our Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Ruth-Round.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/ruth/) [](mailto:ruth@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/ruth/)[](http://+18323563296) ##### Ruth Hamstra Resident Therapist [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Gisselle-Balderas-Round-Team-Headshots.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gisselle/) [](mailto:gisselle@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gisselle/)[](https://www.linkedin.com/in/gisselle-balderas-484a13183/)[](http://tel+18322254714) ##### Gisselle Balderas Bilingual Resident Therapist [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/IMG_9863-scaled.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sika-apaloo/) [](mailto:sika@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sika-apaloo/)[](https://www.linkedin.com/in/sikaapaloo/)[](http://+18325218808) ##### Sika Apaloo Resident Therapist [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Shireen-Round.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shireen-rand/) [](http://shireen@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shireen-rand/)[](http://8326852030) ##### Shireen Rand Graduate Therapist [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-Headshot.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) [](mailto:shayla@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/)[](https://www.linkedin.com/in/shayla-johnson-397266a6/)[](http://tel++18326852049) ##### Shayla Johnson Resident Therapist / Operations Manager [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/FL-Headshot-Round-Brandyn.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/brandyn-treat/) [](mailto:brandyn@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/brandyn-treat/)[](https://www.linkedin.com/in/brandyn-treat-30a140b5/)[](http://tel+18322245961) ##### Brandyn Treat Resident Therapist [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Erin-V-Round-Team-Headshots.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/erin/) [](mailto:erin@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/erin/)[](https://www.linkedin.com/in/erinjviramontes/)[](http://tel++18324632503) ##### Erin Viramontes Resident Therapist [![Widalis](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Widalis-Round-Team-Headshots.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/widalis/) [](mailto:widalis@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/widalis/)[](https://www.linkedin.com/in/widalis-roque-9a95ba146?lipi=urn%3Ali%3Apage%3Ad_flagship3_profile_view_base_contact_details%3BCoxVP6KNQva7hDPRiT%2BaTw%3D%3D)[](http://tel+18326852050) ##### Widalis Rogue Rodriguez Bilingual Graduate Therapist [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/Jessicas-Round-Headshot.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/jessica-coufal/) [](mailto:jessica@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/jessica-coufal/)[](http://tel+17135893706) ##### Jessica Coufal Graduate Therapist [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/FL-Headshot-Round-Riya.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/riya/) [](mailto:riya@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/riya/)[](https://www.linkedin.com/in/riya-v-050269161/) ##### Riya Vettickal Clinical Therapist [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Dormetra-FL-Headshot-1.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dormetrahenry/) [](mailto:dormetra@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dormetrahenry/)[](https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-thompson-102139145/) ##### Dormetra Henry Clinical Therapist ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/FL-Headshot-Round-Chantail.png) [](mailto:chantail@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/chantailgreen/)[](http://tel+18326852018) ##### Chantail Green Clinical Therapist ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Margarita-FL-Round-Headshot.png) [](mailto:margarita@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](http://tel+17132346755) ##### Margarita Castaneda Office Manager ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Seahna-Round.png) [](mailto:seahna@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org) ##### Seahna Woodard Program Support Specialist [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/FL-Headshout-Round-Amy.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) [](mailto:amy@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://www.amyfullerphd.com)[](https://www.linkedin.com/in/amyfullerphd/) ##### Dr. Amy Fuller Founder, Clinical Director ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Tim-FL-Headshot.png) [](mailto:tim@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://timparkerphd.com/)[](https://www.linkedin.com/in/tim-parker-ph-d-lmft-61775b22/) ##### Dr. Tim Parker Clinical Supervisor ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/Clifton-Fuller-Round-Team-Headshots.png) [](https://www.cliftonfuller.com)[](https://www.linkedin.com/in/clifton-fuller-coaching-counseling/) ##### Clifton Fuller Clinical Supervisor ![Dr Tarkitha Williams](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Tarkitha-W-Round-Team-Headshots.png) [](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/tarkitha-williams-pearland-tx/229677) ##### Dr. Tarkitha Williams Clinical Supervisor [Request an appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) [See Our Graduates](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-graduates/) ## Our Board of Directors Our board of Directors guides Fuller Life’s mission to provide accessible, culturally responsive mental health services to Houston’s diverse communities and train top-notch therapists. With prayer as our foundation, the board shapes our vision and growth, ensuring we meet the evolving needs of our clients and developing therapists while maintaining the highest standards of care. Interested to know more about our Board? See [information for potential board members](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/Information-for-Potential-Board-Members.pdf). ![Anthony Smith](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/anthony-smith-Round-Team-Headshots.png) ##### Anthony Smith Anthony D. Smith, MBA is a Benefits Strategist and Risk Advisor who helps executive leaders align employee benefits and insurance with organizational strategy. He advises education and energy organizations through growth and transition and is passionate about helping leaders steward their people and resources with clarity and confidence. [](https://www.facebook.com/abmwellnesshtown) [](https://abettermewellness.com) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Kathy-Straker-Round-Headshots.png) ### Kathy Straker Kathy is one of our founder board members and dedicated to fostering a vibrant, throughtful board. Kathleen Straker is President of The Straker Group, LLC, and is co-founder of Vital Study Skills – a research-based program that provides proven strategies for excelling in the medical sciences. [](https://www.vitalstudyskills.com) [](https://www.linkedin.com/in/kathleen-straker-33734111/) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/FL-Headshout-Round-Amy.png) ##### Amy Fuller As the founder and volunteer Clinical Director, Amy is passionate about the mission of Fuller Life. Her warm, yet direct supervision style is a cornerstone of our intensive training program. She serves as adjunct faculty for Kairos University and specializes in couples, trauma and sex therapy in her private practice. [](https://www.facebook.com/AmyFullerPhd/) [](https://www.amyfullerphd.com) [](https://www.linkedin.com/in/amyfullerphd/) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Tim-FL-Headshot.png) ### Tim Parker Tim has been a supporter of Fuller Life from its beginning. As a Marriage and Family Therapy Professor at Abilene Christian Univeristy, Tim understands the importance of excellent clinical training as well as affordable family therapy. Tim has served as clinical supervisor for Fuller Life . [](https://timparkerphd.com) [](https://www.linkedin.com/in/tim-parker-ph-d-lmft-61775b22/) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Dormetra-FL-Headshot.png) ### Dormetra Henry As one of our graduates, Dormetra has seen the impact of our mission over and over. She sees clients through Fuller Life as a Clinical Therapist specializing in Child, Family and Sand Tray Therapy. As our Programs chair, she understands the workings of our organization and brings joy and thoughtfulness to all she does. [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dormetrahenry/) [](https://www.linkedin.com/in/dormetra-henry-109b0173/) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/Jim-OShea-Round-Team-Headshots-1.png) ### Jim O’Shea Jim is passionate about Mental Health care. He is a former teacher and researcher with Avvento Foundation. He is a student in the Mental Health Counseling Program at the University of St. Thomas. [](https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimoshea2/) --- ### [Locations and fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/) **Published:** March 14, 2012 **Author:** FullerLife **Content:** # Our Locations ## [Fuller Life Loop](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/location/fuller-life-loop/ "Fuller Life Loop") [4545 Bissonnet, Suite 289, Bellaire, TX 77401](https://www.google.com/maps/place/Fuller+Life+Family+Therapy+Institute/@29.7143087,-95.4538085,15z/data=!4m5!3m4!1s0x0:0x6200c7bfb9f559fe!8m2!3d29.7143087!4d-95.4538085) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/4545-Bissonnet-Amy-Fuller-Phd-Fuller-LIfe-Family-Therapy-Office-Houston-Texas.jpg-1024x580.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Fuller-Life-Family-Therapy-Green-Room-Houston-Texas-copy-1024x682.jpg) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Fuller-Life-Family-Therapy-Blue-Art-Play-Therapy-room-1024x668.jpg) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/DSC00856-1024x768.jpg) - ![Fuller Life north at Bammel](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Fuller-Life-Familiy-Therapy-Plum-Room-Houston-texas-717x1024.jpg) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/4545-Bissonnet-Amy-Fuller-Phd-Fuller-LIfe-Family-Therapy-Office-Houston-Texas.jpg.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Fuller-Life-Family-Therapy-Green-Room-Houston-Texas-copy.jpg) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Fuller-Life-Family-Therapy-Blue-Art-Play-Therapy-room.jpg) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/DSC00856-e1486935061850.jpg) - ![Fuller Life north at Bammel](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Fuller-Life-Familiy-Therapy-Plum-Room-Houston-texas.jpg) If your appointment is after 6 pm, use the call box or phone to let your therapist know you are here. When you arrive, please be seated in the lobby and a therapist will be with you shortly. Parking is available on the ground floor or on either side of the building. ## [Fuller Life West](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/location/fuller-life-west/ "Fuller Life West") at Quillian Center [10570 Westpark Dr. Houston 77042](https://www.google.com/maps/place/Quillian+Memorial+Center/@29.7247307,-95.5572454,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m6!3m5!1s0x8640c3292c839c9d:0xdd0ba5680d190627!8m2!3d29.7247307!4d-95.5546651!16s%2Fg%2F1263yyn4s?entry=ttu&g_ep=EgoyMDI2MDEyNS4wIKXMDSoKLDEwMDc5MjA2N0gBUAM%3D) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/IMG_7672-768x1024.jpeg) - ![Shayla Johnson](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-headshot-19.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/New-Sika-Round-HS.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/9E85B1A5-3228-43D1-93A8-4F3436E5B505-709x1024.jpeg) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/IMG_7672-scaled.jpeg) - ![Shayla Johnson](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-headshot-19.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/New-Sika-Round-HS.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/9E85B1A5-3228-43D1-93A8-4F3436E5B505.jpeg) When you arrive, please be seated in the lobby and a therapist will be with you shortly. If your appointment is after 6 pm or Saturday, call your therapists to let your therapist know you are here. Free parking is available in the garage. ## [Fuller Life at West Orem](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/location/fuller-life-at-west-orem/) [5801 West Orem Drive, Houston, 77085](https://maps.app.goo.gl/s2LEmJFAFukkye466) In partnership with the West Orem YMCA - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/West-Orem-YMCA.png) - ![Gisselle Balderas Spanish speaking therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy in Houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Gisselle-Balderas-Round-Team-Headshots.png) When you arrive check in at the counter and say you are there to see Fuller Life. They will let the therapist know you have arrived. ## [Fuller Life North](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/location/fuller-life-north-at-bammel-church/ "Fuller Life North at Bammel Church") [2700 Cypress Creek Parkway ](https://www.google.com/maps/place/2700+Cypress+Creek+Pkwy,+Houston,+TX+77068/@30.004481,-95.4732348,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m6!3m5!1s0x8640cb79712aa36f:0xf7d32834dae1fd6f!8m2!3d30.0044764!4d-95.4706545!16s%2Fg%2F11bw40n8_m?entry=ttu) In partnership with the Bammel Church of Christ - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Door-at-Bammel-1024x768.png) - ![bench at bummed](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Bench-at-Bammel-1024x768.jpeg) - ![Brandyn Treat therapist with Fuller Life Family Therapy in Houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/FL-Headshot-Round-Brandyn.png) - ![Fuller Life North](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Fuller-Life-North-at-Bammel.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Erin-V-Round-Team-Headshots.png) Come to the first sign as you enter the Church parking lot to find the offices of spiritual direction and counseling. The doorbell lets your therapist know you have arrived. ## [Fuller Life East](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/location/fuller-life-east-at-nia/ "Fuller Life East at NIA") [7927 Flaxman Street](https://www.google.com/maps/place/7927+Flaxman+St,+Houston,+TX+77029/@29.7592411,-95.2907985,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m10!1m2!2m1!1s7927+Flaxman+Street!3m6!1s0x8640bc6c70d79f4b:0x3bcd8eaf0fe3356!8m2!3d29.7592365!4d-95.2859329!15sChM3OTI3IEZsYXhtYW4gU3RyZWV0kgERY29tcG91bmRfYnVpbGRpbmfgAQA!16s%2Fg%2F11bw4l95fw?entry=ttu) In partnership with Neighbors in Action - ![Neighbors in Action](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Neigbors-in-Action.png) - ![Widalis Roque, Spanish speaking therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy in Houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Fuller-LIfe-East-at-NIA-therapy-roompng-768x1024.jpeg) - ![Gisselle Balderas Spanish speaking therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy in Houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Gisselle-Balderas-Round-Team-Headshots.png) Therapy is offered on the second floor of the Neighbors in Action home. Take the stairs to the left and have a seat in the waiting area. [855-245-5433](tel:+18552455433)[Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) [About our Fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/)[Meet our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/) Call [ (855) 245-5433](tel:+18552455433) for an appointment today! Email: [Info@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org](mailto:info@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org) ## About Telehealth Services [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Untitled-design-e1607731183865-1024x663.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/teletherapy-is-it-right-for-me/) ## [Teletherapy, Is It Right For Me?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/teletherapy-is-it-right-for-me/) [Read More Teletherapy, Is It Right For Me?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/teletherapy-is-it-right-for-me/) [![teletherapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Teletherapy.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/what-to-know-about-teletherapy/) ## [What to know about teletherapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/what-to-know-about-teletherapy/) [Read More What to know about teletherapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/what-to-know-about-teletherapy/) Virtually assisted therapy has become the norm in recent times. Fuller Life uses the HIPAA compliant version of Zoom, which includes video-conferencing software, text messaging, and a virtual phone system. You will need access to reliable internet service and either a smartphone or computer with a video camera and speaker in order to engage in telemental health work with your therapist. Read more about Telehealth on the **[INFO FOR NEW CLIENTS.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/information-new-clients/)** [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) Address **Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute** 4545 Bissonnet, St 289 Bellaire, TX 77401 Phone [ +1 (855) 245-5433 ](tel:+18552455433) Email [ info@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org ](mailto:info@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org) Address **Fuller Life East at Neighbors in Action** 7927 Flaxman St Houston, TX 77029 Phone [ +1 (855) 245-5433 ](tel:+18552455433) Email [ info@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org ](mailto:info@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org) Address **Fuller Life North at Bammel** 2700 Cypress Creek Pkwy Houston, TX 77068 Phone [ +1 (855) 245-5433 ](tel:+18552455433) Email [ info@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org ](mailto:info@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org) Address **Fuller Life West** 10570 Westpark Dr Houston, TX 77042 Phone [ +1 (855) 245-5433 ](tel:+18552455433) Email [ info@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org ](mailto:info@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org) Address --- ### [Widalis Roque-Rodriquez](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/widalis/) **Published:** December 31, 2024 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Widalis-Round-Team-Headshots.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Widalis-Round-Team-Headshots.png)Widalis Roque Rodriquez ##### Bilingual Resident Therapist ## Widalis Roque-Rodriquez I am passionate about helping others on their mental health journey and committed to creating a supportive space where people feel heard and valued. Now having graduated with my Master’s in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Liberty University, I am dedicated to continuing to grow both personally and professionally as I serve diverse communities. As a bilingual counselor fluent in English and Spanish, I believe in fostering inclusivity and empathy in every interaction. My hands-on experiences, including providing psychotherapy and crisis intervention at Pavia Mental Health Hospital in Puerto Rico and supporting bilingual academic interventions in Houston ISD, have given me a deeper understanding of how to meet the unique needs of individuals and families. With a focus on learning and applying evidence-based practices such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Client-Centered Therapy, and Family and Group Therapy, I strive to help clients feel empowered and supported as they navigate life’s challenges. My journey is grounded in a genuine desire to make a positive impact and walk alongside those seeking growth and healing. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## Contact Widalis: I see clients at both [Fuller Life North and Fuller Life East](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/ "Locations and fees"), and through tele-mental health. Please call or email for an appointment or submit our secure inquiry form. To schedule an appointment, please contact me by email at [Widalis@FullerLifeFamilyTherapy.org](mailto:Riya@FullerLifeFamilyTherapy.org), by phone at [(832) 685-2503](tel:+8324632503) or through our [webform.](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) Address **Fuller Life East at Neighbors in Action** 7927 Flaxman St Houston, TX 77029 Phone [ +1 (855) 245-5433 ](tel:+18552455433) Email [ info@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org ](mailto:info@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org) Address **Fuller Life North at Bammel** 2700 Cypress Creek Pkwy Houston, TX 77068 Phone: ( [ +1 (855) 245-5433 ](tel:+18552455433) Email [ info@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org ](mailto:info@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org) --- ### [Couples Counseling in Houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/couples-counseling-in-houston/) **Published:** January 6, 2024 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** What you need to know about# COUPLES COUNSELING ## When a seasoned professional is crucial for nurturing a prosperous relationship [Learn More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/) --- ## *When you’re poised to transform your relationship, couples counseling can be the pivotal factor.* ## **What is Couples Counseling?** Couples counseling is a specialized form of relationship guidance that focuses on fostering growth in the couple’s relationship. In these sessions, a skilled therapist works collaboratively with you and your significant other to deepen your understanding of yourself and one another. The goal is to help you grow individually so you can have a deeper and more intimate connection. This usually involves identifying and addressing the underlying issues that may be hindering the relationship’s potential. ## **What to expect from Couples Counseling** Anticipate engaging with a counselor alongside your partner to discuss personal changes you’re both eager to make and how you envision a different and improved relationship dynamic. Therapy may also address what you would like to work through individually that contributes the the undesired couple dynamics. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## “Real change happens when we confront the truth about ourselves and have the courage to do something about it.” Irvin Yalom, *The Gift of Therapy* ## Immediate Support for Your Relationship ## **Are You Ready for Couples Counseling?** It’s common for couples to underestimate their issues, delaying counseling. Often, they realize the need when it’s significantly late. Initiating counseling earlier can lead to developing the fulfilling relationship you aim for. To your right, you’ll find insightful articles by our counselors discussing common relationship challenges. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Couple-with-jigsaw-puzzle-e1369144982405.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/do-all-healthy-couples-fight/) ## [Do all healthy couples fight?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/do-all-healthy-couples-fight/) May 16, 2013 By [Scott Rampy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) [![couple in bed](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Screenshot-2017-02-13-05.20.03-e1487047848922.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/get-better-sex-get-better-life/) ## [Get Better at Sex and Get Better at Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/get-better-sex-get-better-life/) January 7, 2017 By [Manet Castaneda](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/canstockphoto23371956-1.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/talking-after-infidelity/) ## [Infidelity: the natural disaster you can talk about](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/talking-after-infidelity/) December 16, 2015 By [Angela Blocker](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/canstockphoto4191474-e1354308397313.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-men-and-women-perceive-negative-emotions-differently-good-news-about-empathy-part-2/) ## [How men and women perceive negative emotions differently: Good news about Empathy, Part 2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-men-and-women-perceive-negative-emotions-differently-good-news-about-empathy-part-2/) October 23, 2012 By [Amy Fuller PhD](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/dramyfuller/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/marriage-problems-e1332290386508.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/marriagehelp-marriage-therapy/) ## [Seven Reasons to Get Help For Your Marriage before it’s too late](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/marriagehelp-marriage-therapy/) March 26, 2012 By [Amy Fuller PhD](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/dramyfuller/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Why-your-Partner-Wont-Have-Sex-with-You-scaled-1024x692.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/partner-wont-sex/) ## [Why your Partner Won’t Have Sex with You](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/partner-wont-sex/) August 8, 2017 By [Manet Castaneda](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/couple-ontake-canstockphoto42159405-1024x684.jpg) Find respect for yourself again through couples therapy ## Finding the best in couples counseling in Houston. An exceptional couples counselor employs a comprehensive strategy, combining systems theory training to examine the entirety of your relationship, guiding both partners to recognize and address how they each affect the ongoing interactions, especially when these have led to tension or conflict. [Request an Appoinment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## **The Mechanics of Couples Counseling** ### What topics are discussed in couples counseling? The focus varies greatly, as the counseling is tailored to each couple’s specific situation. Typically, partners seek help for issues like communication breakdowns, infidelity, sexual challenges, or obstacles involving children, finances, or extended family. Often, the true work begins by dissecting the root perceptions of these issues. ### How do get free couples counseling in Houston? While it may seem daunting to find cost-effective counseling options, there are counselors offering services on a sliding fee scale based on your financial situation. Discover more about Fuller Life’s sliding fee approach [here](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees"). ### Is Online Couples counseling worth it? Despite a preference for face-to-face sessions, virtual counseling has proven equally effective, especially for couples willing to actively participate. Studies confirm the success of online sessions, and the convenience of telehealth services often means better access and adaptability for busy schedules, allowing couples to connect with counselors without geographical constraints. ### Can I use insurance for online couples counseling? Insurance may cover counseling sessions, whether it’s under family or couples therapy. If your plan includes out-of-network benefits, you have the autonomy to select your counselor and manage the claims, or opt for a counselor that’s within your insurance network. Fuller Life offers a selection of counselors specialized in couples counseling who accept various insurance plans. ## Read our articles about Healthy Couple Relationships [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/canstockphoto0095883.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4818-2/) ## [Are These 5 Forms of Manipulation in Your Relationship?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4818-2/) [Read More Are These 5 Forms of Manipulation in Your Relationship?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4818-2/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/marriage-problems-e1332290386508.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/marriagehelp-marriage-therapy/) ## [Seven Reasons to Get Help For Your Marriage before it’s too late](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/marriagehelp-marriage-therapy/) [Read More Seven Reasons to Get Help For Your Marriage before it’s too late](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/marriagehelp-marriage-therapy/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/canstockphoto4191559-e1354307692381.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/reliability-trust-and-forgiveness/) ## [Reliability, Trust, and Forgiveness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/reliability-trust-and-forgiveness/) [Read More Reliability, Trust, and Forgiveness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/reliability-trust-and-forgiveness/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Anger-Relationships-Therapy.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/anger-in-relationships/) ## [Time Out: Working Through Anger in Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/anger-in-relationships/) [Read More Time Out: Working Through Anger in Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/anger-in-relationships/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Good-Job-e1426941161805.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/celebrate-and-increase-self-control/) ## [Celebrate Your Efforts and Increase Self-Control](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/celebrate-and-increase-self-control/) [Read More Celebrate Your Efforts and Increase Self-Control](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/celebrate-and-increase-self-control/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/young-African-American-couple-e1379566267417.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/9-reasons-happily-engaged-couples-go-to-premarital-counseling/) ## [9 Reasons Happily Engaged Couples go to Premarital Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/9-reasons-happily-engaged-couples-go-to-premarital-counseling/) [Read More 9 Reasons Happily Engaged Couples go to Premarital Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/9-reasons-happily-engaged-couples-go-to-premarital-counseling/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Couple-with-jigsaw-puzzle-e1369144982405.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/do-all-healthy-couples-fight/) ## [Do all healthy couples fight?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/do-all-healthy-couples-fight/) [Read More Do all healthy couples fight?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/do-all-healthy-couples-fight/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Defensive-dance-couples.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/6293-2/) ## [Stopping the Defensiveness Dance in Your Relationship](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/6293-2/) [Read More Stopping the Defensiveness Dance in Your Relationship](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/6293-2/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/loving-couple-e1391256606992.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/couples-attachment/) ## [Rituals Create Stability in Romantic Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/couples-attachment/) [Read More Rituals Create Stability in Romantic Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/couples-attachment/) --- ### [Group Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) **Published:** September 9, 2021 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** # Group Therapy ## Therapist-Led Group Therapy for Healing and Personal Growth [Group Therapy Interest Form](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=110) ![group-therapy-houston-womens-trauma-group](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/qtq80-rWkAZI.jpeg) ### We provide therapist-led group therapy experiences in Houston focused on growth, healing, and skill development. Groups may be open enrollment or offered in partnership with local organizations. [Sign up Here](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=110) ![group-therapy-houston-womens-trauma-group.jpg](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/11.png) - > **Are you carrying wounds from a relationship that still shape how you show up today?** Heal in community## Healing Forward Women’s Process Group Healing Forward is a 10-week virtual therapy process group for women healing from relationship trauma or intimate partner violence. This structured, therapist-led group focuses on rebuilding your voice, strengthening boundaries, and developing steadiness and self-trust. - Begins March 17, 2026 - Tuesdays | 7–8:30 PM - Confidential | Virtual - $20 per sessionAdd a list item [Let us know you are interested](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=110) In partnership with: [![raise up families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/raiseupfamilies-logo-300x163.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/raiseupfamilies-logo.png) ![Sika Apaloo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/IMG_9863-scaled.jpeg) ### Sika Apaloo Group Facilitator ## [Meet Sika Apaloo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sika-apaloo/ "Sika Apaloo, Resident Therapist") Sika Apaloo is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapy Associate who works with individuals and families navigating trauma and relationship challenges. In the Healing Forward group, she provides a structured, supportive space where women can process past experiences, strengthen their sense of self, and move toward healing. ## Voices from Past Participants: - > **“I am no longer just surviving. I am learning to live, love, and lead myself forward with God’s grace.”** — First-time participant ![group therapy virtual houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/qtq80-sr0Lfp-e1772660996421.jpeg) ![Woman in White Long Sleeve Shirt](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/woman-in-white-long-sleeve-shirt.jpeg) - > **“This group gave me tools to heal, a voice to speak, and the courage to begin again. Your generosity became a lifeline.”** — Participant reflection ![Man in Black Suit Jacket Using Smartphone](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/man-in-black-suit-jacket-using-smartphone.jpeg) - > **“I left an abusive marriage last year. This group changed my life. I laughed, I cried, and I found my voice again.”** — Participant --- ### [About our fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) **Published:** September 12, 2021 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** ## **We believe everyone should have access to affordable quality mental health care.** ## affordable counseling services ## in Houston and Texas online. At Fuller Life Family Therapy, we make therapy available, accessible and affordable for anyone who seeks counseling. We have various fee options based on the level of education and experience of the therapist. Please indicate your preferred type of therapist on our [secure form.](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## Sliding Scale Fees During the initial call with one of our team members you will be asked to provide the following information: - annual household income - number of people in the home If you are willing to provide this information, we will adjust the fee according to our sliding scale. After determining the combination of these two factors, the therapist will quote you the session fee. ## HEART Scholarship Equity Program Thanks to our generous [donors](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=1&Amount=), we do have funds available on a limited basis through our **HEART (Helping Everyone Access Resources for Therapy) Equity program** for those who would not be able to pay the lowest fees on our sliding scale. An application process is required for this program. ## Accept Insurance Want to use your insurance benefits? We have therapists in-network with Aetna, Cigna, BCBS, United/Optum, Magellan, Beacon, Medicaid and Humana. ## Affordable Counseling in Houston #### Student therapist - Completing a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy or counseling - In supervision with Fuller Life (4 hours per week) - In supervision within their graduate school program - Student therapist in our intensive training program ## Session Value: $95 / 50 min session ## Sliding Scale: $40-95 / 50 min session [Request appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) #### Resident therapist - Hold a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy or counseling - In supervision with Fuller Life (4 hours per week) - Licensed Professional Counselor Associate or licensed marriage and family therapy Associate - Resident therapist in our intensive post-graduate training program. ## Session Value: $115 / 50 min session ## Sliding Scale: $50-115 / 50 min session [request appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) #### CLINICAL therapist - Graduate of Fuller Life Family Therapy’s Intensive post-graduate training program - Hold a master’s degree or doctorate in marriage and family therapy or counseling - Use in-network health insurance benefits - LPC or LMFT – Licensed Professional Counselor OR Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist ## Session Fee: $150-195 / 50 min session [appointment with Riya Vettickal LPC](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=118%20) [appointment with Chantail Green LPC](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=101) [appointment with dormetra henry ](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=117) [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) [See Our Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/)[Meet Our Team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/) ## Want additional options? ## Consider seeing one of our graduates or clinical supervisors. [Our Graduates](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-graduates/)[Amy Fuller PhD](https://amyfullephd.com)[Tim Parker PhD](https://timparkerphd.com) --- ### [31 Days of Prayer for Mental Health - Hope Collective](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/may/) **Published:** February 22, 2025 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** **31 Days of Prayer for Mental Health**# Be Still My Soul [Join Us](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=122) **Praying the Psalms**## Will you pray with us? We are in the midst of a mental health crisis. Texas has been ranked last for mental health for two consecutive years. More than half of the people who need mental health care don’t seek it due to stigma, cost, or lack of access. We still lack enough mental health providers. Suicide remains the second leading cause of death among today’s youth. As a mental health non-profit in Houston, we are responding with action by expanding access to care, growing highly trained clinicians through our training programs, and making therapy more affordable through our HEART equity fund. However, we want to do more, so we will pray together. We invite you to join the **Fuller Life HOPE Collective** in prayer throughout May in a dedicated prayer journey for mental wellness **centered around the Psalms** and prayers for peace, strength, and hope. **Each day in May 2026, you’ll receive:** - **Daily Emails:** Each morning during May, an email will arrive containing a Psalm, a guided prayer, a key scripture verse, a reflective devotional, a worship song, and a practical coping skill or prayer practice. - **Morning Texts:** A brief text message with a link to the day’s prayer guide to begin your day with intention. Each day is designed to help you slow down, pray, and stay grounded. Will you join us? [Sign Up](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=122) [![hope collective logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Hope-Collective-Logo2-1-e1725807489100-300x162.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/hope/) **What to expect** ## If you join our prayer movement, you’ll receive an email each morning from May 1 to 31, 2026. ## Here’s what it will include: ### ****Daily Psalm**** Each day will draw from a Psalm to guide our prayers for emotional and mental well-being. ### **Guided Prayer** A guided prayer rooted in the Psalm to help you pray personally and intentionally. ### **Reflection** A thoughtful reflection on the Psalm and how it speaks to emotional and mental health. ### **Prayer Practice or Coping Skill** Practical, faith-based techniques to support emotional and spiritual well-being. ### **Worship Song for the Day** A meaningful worship song to encourage reflection and invite God’s presence into your prayer time. ### **Community of Prayer Partners** A **supportive community** lifting up mental health in faith, believing in God’s healing and renewal together. ![be still my soul image](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Be-Still-My-Soul-image-May-2026-Postcard-US.png) It’s simple to join ## ******How to Join the 31 Days of Prayer for Mental Health****** 01 ### **Sign up** to receive daily prayers via text or email. 02 ### **Pray with us** each day, wherever you are. 03 ### **Share this journey** with your spouse, family, or small group. [Sign Up](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=122) A Community of Prayer, Healing, and Transformation ## What is the [HOPE Collective](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/hope/)? The **HOPE Collective** is a community committed to praying for **mental, emotional, and relational healing**, born from the belief in the power of collective prayer and that healing happens in community. ## Why We Started In 2024, we launched our first **40 Days of Prayer for Fuller Life**, hoping for a small group of prayer partners. The overwhelming response—**106 people praying together**—confirmed what we already knew: people want to stand in prayer for **healing, wholeness, and hope**. From that foundation, we are expanding our focus to include **intentional times of prayer for mental health, marriage, and relationships** throughout the year. ## Who We Are The HOPE Collective is for **anyone** who believes in the power of prayer and wants to stand in faith for others. We are: 1\. **Individuals who care deeply about mental and relational well-being** 2\. **A prayer movement seeking God’s wisdom and healing** 3\. **A community of encouragers, lifting up those who need support** We are not just praying for change—we are **believing for transformation**. ## What We Do Throughout the year, the HOPE Collective gathers (virtually in spirit) for focused times of prayer, including: **5 Days of Prayer for Marriage (February 10-14, 2025)** **31 Days of Prayer for Mental Health (May 2025)** When you join the **HOPE Collective**, you become part of a movement that prays **with purpose, expectation, and faith**—believing that God is working in the lives of those we lift up. - > I was so encouraged in my heart to know of the mission of Fuller’s Team and the Christ Centered leadership. > > It gave me both joy and comfort in my daily walk of faith to be praying for such a needed ministry that helps many to become whole again. ![Samira Fitts](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Samira-Fitts-150x150.png) Samira Fitts Hope Collective Member - > It was a wonderful experience to be part of this 40 days of prayer and I can’t wait to see God’s response to the prayers that were elevated during this time. Hope Collective Member - > I have a great appreciation for the humbleness of the Fuller Life team based on the things they asked for prayer on. > > People helping others mentally who still seek guidance and wisdom from God seems powerful and healthy. Hope Collective Memeber Pray with us## *Changing our world, One Prayer at a Time.* [Join the Movement](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=122) --- ### [Shireen Rand](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shireen-rand/) **Published:** February 18, 2026 **Author:** Shayla Johnson **Content:** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Shireen-Round.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Shireen-Round.png) ##### Graduate Therapist ## Shireen Rand I am passionate about helping individuals, couples, and families build stronger, healthier relationships. I believe that our life experiences shape who we are and influence how we show up in our relationships today. I view therapy as *your* journey. One where you are the expert of your own story. My role is to partner with you, helping you make sense of patterns, deepen awareness, and move toward healing and growth. I am devoted to making therapy as meaningful and productive as possible, beginning with a strong connection and genuine collaboration. Creating a space that feels safe, steady, and authentic is central to my work, as I believe healing happens best in the context of trusting relationships. I specialize in working with couples who feel stuck in cycles of conflict, distance, or miscommunication. Using the Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and Solution-Focused approaches, I help partners move from frustration and defensiveness toward understanding, emotional safety, and deeper connection. My goal is to help couples not only manage conflict, but experience secure, lasting relational change. --- I also have extensive experience working with adolescents and young adults. As a former high school teacher and ministry leader, I understand the developmental, relational, and spiritual challenges teens and families face. I enjoy partnering with students and parents to strengthen communication, establish healthy boundaries, and build resilience. My Christian faith is a central source of strength in my life and informs the compassion and hope I bring into my work. For clients who desire it, I am happy to incorporate faith into the counseling process. At the same time, I deeply respect each client’s unique beliefs, values, and background. I am currently earning my Master of Marriage and Family Therapy (MMFT) at Abilene Christian University, under the supervision of [Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LPC-S, LMFT-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/ "Dr. Amy Fuller, Clinical Director").” I am currently seeing individuals, couples, and families in person at Fuller Life North and virtually for telehealth. ### Contact Allison: To schedule an appointment please contact me by email at [Shireen@FullerLifeFamilyTherapy.org](mailto:shireen@FullerLifeFamilyTherapy.org), by phone at [(832) 685- 2030 ](http://8326852030 "+18322254714") or thorough our [webform.](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Donate Now](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=1&Amount=) --- ### [Zoila Medina](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/zoila-medina/) **Published:** February 7, 2026 **Author:** Shayla Johnson **Content:** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Zoila-Round.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Zoila-Round.png) ##### Graduate Therapist (Bilingual English/Spanish) ## Zoila Medina **Zoila Medina** is deeply committed to walking alongside individuals with compassion, care, and purpose through professional therapy. She believes healing begins when people feel genuinely seen, heard, and supported—especially during life’s most challenging seasons. Zoila is married, and she and her husband share life with their beloved dog, Gracie, who is a cherished part of their family. Zoila is in the final months of completing her **graduate degree in Christian Counseling at Houston Christian University** and currently serves as a **graduate therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy** Institute. She practices under the supervision of **Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S**, ensuring that her work is ethically grounded, clinically sound, and supported by experienced professional guidance. Zoila brings both professional training and lived experience into the therapy room. She utilizes **evidence-based therapeutic approaches** and values the role that **faith and spirituality can play in the healing process**. When appropriate and aligned with client preferences, she integrates spiritual considerations into therapy in a respectful and thoughtful manner. She works with clients from a variety of cultural and personal backgrounds and has a particular understanding of **Hispanic and bilingual communities**, informed by her Salvadoran heritage. Zoila has experience supporting individuals experiencing **anxiety, depression, and emotional overwhelm** and approaches therapy with empathy, authenticity, and respect for each client’s story. Having personally navigated seasons of anxiety and depression, Zoila strives to meet clients exactly where they are—offering a safe, supportive space marked by encouragement, understanding, and gentle guidance as clients build resilience and move forward with clarity and purpose. Zoila sees clients at **Fuller Life East**, located in the Port Houston community at **Neighbors in Action**, and at **Fuller Life West Orem** in southwest Houston in partnership with the **West Orem YMCA**. She also offers **virtual therapy** for added accessibility and convenience. Zoila provides **flexible scheduling** and offers therapy in **both English and Spanish**. ### Contact Zoila: To schedule an appointment please contact me by email at , by phone at [(713) 714-7978](tel:+17137147978 "+17137147978") or thorough our [webform.](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Donate Now](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=1&Amount=) --- ### [Information for New clients](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/information-new-clients/) **Published:** August 12, 2018 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** ## WELCOME! Congratulations on taking a brave step toward healing! The following information is meant to help answer any administrative questions you may have about Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute or the services we offer. **If you have any questions about anything within this document, we encourage you to bring them up when we meet.** ## About Fuller Life Family Institute *Our mission is to provide quality counseling to ALL persons, with specific opportunity to assist the under-resourced or under-insured, and to fill a gap in the professional development of Marriage and Family Therapists and Counselors by creating a rigorous collaborative post-graduate fellowship program with an emphasis in faith-based training of Marriage and Family Therapists.* The Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute(FTFT)is a not-for-profit charitable organization with 501(c)(3) status with the IRS. We are grateful to the various individuals, churches, and organizations that partner with us in our dream of serving the people, children, and families in Houston. ## Scheduling Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute offers individual, marital & family therapy to adults, children, adolescents and families **by appointment only.** Sessions begin meeting weekly and generally last 45-50 minutes. Follow-up sessions are scheduled at the end of the session. **To schedule an appointment please call Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute at (855) 245-LIFE (5433) or email .** ## Payment for Services The client is responsible for payment of counseling and any other services utilized. **Payment is due in full at the time of service.** FLFT accepts checks, credit card, or cash. There is a $35 fee for returned checks. A credit or debit card is required to be on file and will be electronically billed at the end of session, unless the client indicates another preference for payment. The session rate is determined prior to the first appointment. We believe mental health services should be available for ALL people regardless of their socio-economic status, so we utilize a sliding scale for setting our fees, take insurance, and offer scholarships when necessary. We have various fees for different levels of licensure and education. Fees for resident and master’s student therapists are structured on a sliding scale based on household income. Please notify your therapist if any problems arise during therapy regarding your ability to pay. Our Clinical Therapists are on many insurance panels as in-network providers and will send off your claim for out of network plans. Our Resident Therapists take Aetna and United as in-network providers. Your co-payment will be due at the time of service. ## Cancellation Policy Since the scheduling of an appointment involves the reservation of time specifically for you, a minimum of 24 hours’ notice is required for re-scheduling or canceling an appointment. If you cannot keep your appointment, please notify your therapist or Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute as soon as possible at (855) 245-5433. **The full fee is charged for no-shows or sessions not cancelled 24 hours in advance.** ## [Locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/ "Locations and fees") Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute has five locations and offers telehealth in Texas. [![fuller life locations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Fuller-Life-Locations-2026.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Fuller-Life-Locations-2026.png) ## Fuller Life Loop [4545 Bissonnet, Suite 289, Bellaire, TX 77401](https://www.google.com/maps/place/Fuller+Life+Family+Therapy+Institute/@29.7143087,-95.4538085,15z/data=!4m5!3m4!1s0x0:0x6200c7bfb9f559fe!8m2!3d29.7143087!4d-95.4538085) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/4545-Bissonnet-Amy-Fuller-Phd-Fuller-LIfe-Family-Therapy-Office-Houston-Texas.jpg-1024x580.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Amy-Fuller-Phd-Therapy-Office2-1024x768.jpg) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Fuller-Life-Family-Therapy-Green-Room-Houston-Texas-copy-1024x682.jpg) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Fuller-Life-Family-Therapy-Blue-Art-Play-Therapy-room-1024x668.jpg) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/DSC00856-1024x768.jpg) - ![Fuller Life north at Bammel](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Fuller-Life-Familiy-Therapy-Plum-Room-Houston-texas-717x1024.jpg) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/4545-Bissonnet-Amy-Fuller-Phd-Fuller-LIfe-Family-Therapy-Office-Houston-Texas.jpg.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Amy-Fuller-Phd-Therapy-Office2-e1486935884707.jpg) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Fuller-Life-Family-Therapy-Green-Room-Houston-Texas-copy.jpg) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Fuller-Life-Family-Therapy-Blue-Art-Play-Therapy-room.jpg) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/DSC00856-e1486935061850.jpg) - ![Fuller Life north at Bammel](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Fuller-Life-Familiy-Therapy-Plum-Room-Houston-texas.jpg) (near Highway 59 just inside loop 610.) If your appointment is after 6 pm, use the call box or phone to let your therapist know you are here. When you arrive, please be seated in the lobby and a therapist will be with you shortly. Parking is available on the ground floor or on either side of the building. ## Fuller Life West at Quillian Center [10570 Westpark Dr. Houston 77042](https://www.google.com/maps/place/Quillian+Memorial+Center/@29.7247307,-95.5572454,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m6!3m5!1s0x8640c3292c839c9d:0xdd0ba5680d190627!8m2!3d29.7247307!4d-95.5546651!16s%2Fg%2F1263yyn4s?entry=ttu&g_ep=EgoyMDI2MDEyNS4wIKXMDSoKLDEwMDc5MjA2N0gBUAM%3D) - ![West](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/harwin-efd69ae1-8554-4504-9752-04cf85d77efc-400.jpg) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/harwin-2f1341a2bf0dd593ba8d6fe6c617af9c1449df05a.jpg) - ![West](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/harwin-efd69ae1-8554-4504-9752-04cf85d77efc-400.jpg) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/harwin-2f1341a2bf0dd593ba8d6fe6c617af9c1449df05a.jpg) (near Westpark Tollway just inside beltway 8) When you arrive, please be seated in the lobby and a therapist will be with you shortly. If your appointment is after 6 pm, call your therapists to let your therapist know you are here. Free parking is available in the garage. ## Fuller Life North [2700 Cypress Creek Parkway ](https://www.google.com/maps/place/2700+Cypress+Creek+Pkwy,+Houston,+TX+77068/@30.004481,-95.4732348,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m6!3m5!1s0x8640cb79712aa36f:0xf7d32834dae1fd6f!8m2!3d30.0044764!4d-95.4706545!16s%2Fg%2F11bw40n8_m?entry=ttu) In partnership with the Bammel Church of Christ - ![Fuller Life North](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Fuller-Life-North-at-Bammel.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Fuller-Life-North-at-Bammel-Road-e1692817088705.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Brandyn-Treat-F-L-Headshot-1-e1692728244728-1014x1024.png) - ![Allison Sims FL Therapist](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/Alison-Sims-FL-Headshot-e1705163798716-1024x1024.png) Come to the first sign as you enter the Church parking lot to find the offices of spiritual direction and counseling. The doorbell lets your therapist know you have arrived. ## Fuller Life East [7927 Flaxman Street](https://www.google.com/maps/place/7927+Flaxman+St,+Houston,+TX+77029/@29.7592411,-95.2907985,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m10!1m2!2m1!1s7927+Flaxman+Street!3m6!1s0x8640bc6c70d79f4b:0x3bcd8eaf0fe3356!8m2!3d29.7592365!4d-95.2859329!15sChM3OTI3IEZsYXhtYW4gU3RyZWV0kgERY29tcG91bmRfYnVpbGRpbmfgAQA!16s%2Fg%2F11bw4l95fw?entry=ttu) In partnership with Neighbors in Action - ![Widalis Roque, Spanish speaking therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy in Houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Fuller-LIfe-East-at-NIA-therapy-roompng-768x1024.jpeg) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Fuller-LIfe-East-at-Neighbors-in-Action-e1692817015660.png) - ![Felicia FL Headshot](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Felicia-Headshots-2-e1683045222993-1024x1024.png) - ![Neighbors in Action](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Neigbors-in-Action.png) - ![Fuller Life East at NIA Therapy Room](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Fuller-Life-East-at-NIA-waiting-room-769x1024.jpg) Therapy is offered on the second floor of the Neighbors in Action home. Take the stairs to the left and have a seat in the waiting area. ## (885) 245-LIFE (5433) ## ## Referral Your referral to others is the highest compliment you can give. If you do suggest our services to friends or family members, we greatly appreciate it. ## Confidentiality **Fuller Life Family Therapy upholds strict policies regarding confidentiality.** Please carefully review our notice of privacy practices for limits of confidentiality. Due to confidentiality, **FLFT Therapists only see couples together in therapy**. Individuals participating in couples therapy are not seen individually by the same therapist. When participating in couples therapy, please ensure any email correspondence with the therapist includes both partners in the email. Our code of ethics grants confidentiality even to minors. Material discussed in therapy with children or adolescents will not be disclosed to parents. The therapist may share clinical opinions, discuss assessment and treatment goals, or involve parents in treatment when appropriate. ## CONSULTATION and TRAINING **Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute is a training institute.** Your therapist will consult regularly with the clinical supervisor and colleagues within FLFT regarding your clinical treatment. Each member of the FLFT team has committed to upholding the highest standard of care, ethics, and confidentiality. **To provide the highest quality of care and intensive therapy training, we utilize video for clinical supervision purposes.** Video is stored for less than 14 days and is kept on secure HIPAA-compliant servers. ## LEGAL CONCERNS: All disputes arising out of, or in relation to counseling services shall first be referred to mediation, before, and as a pre-condition of, the initiation of arbitration. The mediator shall be a neutral third party. Should the therapist receive a subpoena and need to appear in court, the client is responsible for the hourly fee including time on call and traveling. ## THE PROCESS OF THERAPY Participation in therapy can result in many benefits to you, including improving interpersonal relationships and resolving the specific concerns that led you to seek therapy. Working toward these benefits requires attractive involvement, honesty, and openness. Attempting to resolve issues that brought you to therapy in the first place, such as personal or interpersonal relationships, may result in changes that were not originally intended. Sometimes a decision that is positive for one family member is viewed quite negatively by another family member. **There is no guarantee that psychotherapy will yield positive or intended results.** If you have any unanswered questions about any of the procedures used during your therapy, the possible risks, your therapist’s expertise in employing them, or the treatment plan, please discuss this with your therapist. Your therapist provides neither custody evaluation recommendation nor medication or prescription recommendation nor legal advice, as these activities do not fall within her/his scope of practice. ## TERMINATION A therapist does not work with clients who, in his/her opinion, he/she cannot help. In such a case, if appropriate, you will be given referrals that you can contact. A therapist has the right to refer to alternate organizations or therapists when appropriate and cease providing treatment. Here are some examples of client behavior that may result in a therapist terminating services: - attending sessions under the influence of alcohol or drugs - displaying or threatening violent tendencies - non-professional sexual expression - demonstrating non-compliant behaviors - two consecutive no-shows You have the right to terminate therapy at any time. Upon your request, your therapist will provide you with names of other qualified professionals whose services you might prefer. ## SOCIAL MEDIA POLICY: **We do not accept friend requests from current or former clients on PERSONAL social networking sites,** such as Facebook or Twitter. Adding clients as friends or contacts on these sites can compromise your confidentiality and our respective privacy. It may also blur the boundaries of our therapeutic relationship. For this same reason, we request clients not communicate with us via any interactive or social networking sites. These sites are not secure and we may not read these messages promptly. The best way to contact us between sessions is by phone. We regularly write about relational or mental health on our professional blog on our website and curate great articles and resources we find on [Scoopit! ](https://www.scoop.it/u/fuller-life-family-therapy) To get the most recent updates follow us on [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/FullerLifeFamilyTherapy), [LinkedIn](https://www.linkedin.com/company/3595830/admin/feed/posts/), or [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/fullerlifefamilyinstitute/), or subscribe to our [newsletter or blog ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/)on our website or on the communication preferences form. **The most private way to stay connected with our online resources is through our newsletter.** We never share your information with a third party. We invite you to follow our Fuller Life [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/FullerLifeFamilyTherapy), [LinkedIn](https://www.linkedin.com/company/3595830/admin/feed/posts/) or [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/fullerlifefamilyinstitute/) profile as these are professional profiles, however, please know doing so may compromise your confidentiality. FLFT has a presence on sites such as Yelp, Google, Yahoo, etc. which list businesses and may include forums in which users rate their providers and add reviews. Our listing is NOT a request for a testimonial, rating, or endorsement. Our professional code of ethics prohibits our soliciting testimonials from clients. ## CONTACTING US: - By phone 855-245-LIFE (5433) - Your[ therapist’s ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/ "Our Team")direct line (business card/web). - By email: OR (therapists name)@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org - Secure Fax: (832) 706-3829 - The secure form on [fullerlifefamilytherapy.org](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) We may not be able to respond to your messages and calls immediately. For voicemails and other non-emergent messages, you can expect a response within BUSINESS 1-3 days. We may occasionally reply more quickly, but this may not always be possible. ## COMMUNICATIONS POLICY: **It is important that we can communicate and keep the confidential space that is vital to therapy.** It may become useful during treatment to communicate by email, text message or other electronic methods of communication. These methods are typically NOT confidential means of communication. If you use these methods to communicate with your therapist there is a reasonable chance that a third party may be able to intercept and eavesdrop on those messages. The kinds of parties that may intercept these messages include, but are not limited to: - People in your home or environments with access to your phone, computer, or devices - Your employer, if you use your work email to communicate with Fuller Life - Third parties on the Internet, server administrators or others who monitor Internet traffic If there are people in your life that you don’t want to access these communications, please talk with your therapist about ways to keep your communications confidential FLFT uses only HIPAA-Compliant secure forms of communication unless you indicate a desire to communicate in non-secure means. We offer encrypted email and a secure texting and platform with HIPAA-compliant Business Associates. While it cannot be guaranteed these services will prevent 100% of confidentiality breaches, they are designed to ensure enhanced security. **INDICATE YOUR CHOICES ON THE Initial Session FORM IN THE INITIALPAPERWORK.** If you reach out to us via unencrypted email, we will honor your desire to communicate in this way as an informed client willing to take a risk with normal email. ## EMERGENCY CONTACT: If you are ever experiencing an emergency, including a mental health crisis, please call and indicate the emergency clearly in your message. In the event of a psychiatric emergency: Dial 988, go to your local emergency room, find resources at [Mental Health Crisis Services](https://www.hhs.texas.gov/services/mental-health-substance-use/mental-health-crisis-services) or [211texas.org](https://www.211texas.org). **Please do not use texts, e-mail, or voice mail for emergencies.** ## EMAIL: If you choose to authorize non-secure email with us, be aware that computers and unencrypted e-mail communication can be relatively easily accessed by unauthorized people and compromise the privacy of such communication. E-mails are vulnerable to unauthorized access since servers or communication companies may have unlimited or direct access to all e-mails that go through them. Any email content to or from you related to your therapy becomes a part of your medical record. ## TEXT MESSAGES: Unlike email, our text platform is through secure HIPAA-Compliant Services. However, **texting with our clients is limited to scheduling related items ONLY.** Please include your name if you do text us since we do not store client contact information in our devices. **Text messages are NOT designed for emergencies.** # HIPAA NOTICE OF PRIVACY POLICIES: (Revised 8-24-2022) ### THIS NOTICE DESCRIBES HOW PRIVATE HEALTH INFORMATION (PHI) ABOUT YOU MAY BE USED AND DISCLOSED AND HOW YOU MAY ACCESS THIS INFORMATION. PLEASE REVIEW IT CAREFULLY. This Notice is provided to you pursuant to the Health Insurance Portability and Accessibility Act of 1996 (HIPAA). We are required to abide these policies until replaced or revised. We have the right to revise our privacy policies for all records, including records kept before policy changes were made. The contents of material disclosed to us in therapy sessions are covered by the law as private health information (PHI). We respect the privacy of the information you provide us, and abide by ethical and legal requirements of privacy of records. **We will not release any information about a client without a signed release of information** for all adults involved in the therapy EXCEPT in certain emergency situations or exceptions in which client information can be disclosed without written consent by law. **How we may use or disclose your PHI without your written authorization:** - For legal reasons: Under **subpoena from a judge** in criminal or federal matters, to identify or locate a suspect, fugitive, or court order. - For the safety of our client or others: If there is a reasonable suspicion of **child, dependent, or elder abuse or neglect** health care professionals are required to report to the appropriate social service and/or legal authorities. - Safety of client or others: if a client presents a **danger to self,** to others, to property, or a grave disability, healthcare professionals may notify an emergency contact, or medical or legal authorities without violating client confidentiality. - For **public health** purposes: to provide information to state or federal public health authorities, to prevent or control disease, injury, or disability; to report child abuse or neglect; report domestic violence; report to the Food and Drug Administration problems with products and reactions to medications; and report disease or infection exposure. - For **consultation** purposes: As a training institute, we spend several hours together each week in clinical supervision with a sole purpose of enhancing therapeutic service and professional development. Additionally, we may consult with other professionals outside our organization but will speak generally and not disclose any specific PHI identifying information. - For administrative purposes: administrative staff and **HIPAA business associates** may have access toPHIfor administrative - For non-payment: if payment has not been made in a timely manner, collection agencies may be utilized in collecting unpaid debts. - In the case of **death** or other limiting factors of a therapist, another member of the Fuller Life Team will properly dispose of client records and/or ensure continuance of care. - For ethical reasons: **Professional misconduct** by a health care professional must be reported by other health care professionals and related records may be released to substantiate disciplinary ## **YOUR RIGHTS** You have the right to request to review or receive your medical files. You may request a copy of your records in writing. Records for non-emancipated minors must be requested by their custodial parents or legal guardians. There is a charge for this service. All requests must be in writing. - You have the right to cancel a release of information by providing us a written notice. - You have the right to know what information in your record has been provided to whom. - You have the right to restrict what information might be disclosed to others. However, if we do not agree with these restrictions, we are not bound to abide by them. - You have the right to request that information about you be communicated by other means or to another location. - You have the right to disagree with the medical records in our files and request that this information be changed. We may decline to change the information, but you have the right to make a statement to be placed in your file. ### **COMPLAINTS** If you believe your rights have been violated or for questions regarding these policies contact our privacy officer *Margarita Castaneda, Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, 4545 Bissonnet, Suite 289, Bellaire, TX 77401.* Complaints may be filed with the Texas Behavioral Health Executive Council at We will not retaliate for any complaint made to the government about our privacy practices. # Information about Telemental Health Services Please review the following information if you are interested in technology assisted services with Fuller Life. ## **Overview** - You will need access to certain technological tools to engage in technology-assisted therapy - Telemental health has both benefits and risks, which you and your therapist will be monitoring - It is possible that receiving services by telemental health will turn out to be inappropriate for you, and that you and your therapist may have to cease work by telemental health - You can stop therapy by telemental health at any time for in-person therapy or a referral - You will need to participate in creating an appropriate space for your telemental health sessions - You will need to participate in managing technology failures and mental health emergencies - Your therapist follows security best practices and legal standards in order to protect your health information, but you will also need to participate in maintaining your own security and privacy ## What is Telemental Health? Telehealth service or technology assisted service is ‘a health service, other than a telemedicine medical service, delivered by a health professional licensed, certified, or otherwise entitled to practice in this state and acting within the scope of the health professional’s license, certification, or entitlement to a patient at a different physical location than the health professional using telecommunications or information technology.’ Services delivered via telehealth rely on electronic, internet-based technology tools. Fuller Life uses a HIPAA compliant service, Ring Central, which includes video-conferencing software, text messaging, and a virtual phone system. You will need access to reliable internet service and either a smartphone or computer with a video camera and speakerin order to engage in telemental health work with your therapist. If you have any questions or concerns about the above tools, please discuss them with your therapist to address their risks, benefits, and specific application to your treatment. ## Benefits and Risks of Telemental Health *Benefits of receiving services via telemental health allows you to receive services:* - at times or in places where the service may not otherwise be available. - in a fashion that may be more convenient and less prone to delays than in-person meetings. - when you are unable to travel to the therapist’s office. The unique characteristics of telemental health may also help some people make improved progress on health goals that may not have been otherwise achievable without telemental health. *Receiving services via telemental health has the following risk of:* - technical failures, such as unstable internet connection or sudden failures related to computers, smartphone or local power services. - limiting your therapist’s ability to directly intervene in crisis or emergencies. - potential breach of confidentiality as Cloud-based service personnel, IT assistants, and malicious actors (“hackers”) may have the ability to access your private information that is transmitted or stored in the process of telemental health-based service delivery. Interruptions may disrupt services at important moments, and your therapist may be unable to reach you quickly or using the most effective tools. ## Assessing Telemental Health’s Fit for You Although it is well validated by research, service delivery via telemental health is not a good fit for every person. Your therapist will continuously assess if working via telemental health is appropriate for your case. If it is not appropriate, your therapist will help you find in-person therapists with whom to continue services. **You have right to stop receiving services by telemental health at any time** without any repercussions. Please talk to your therapist if you find the telemental health platform so difficult to use that it distracts from the services being provided, if the medium causes trouble focusing on your services, or if there are any other reasons why the telemental health medium seems to be causing problems in receiving services. ## Your Telemental Health Environment **You will be responsible for creating a safe and confidential space during sessions at the address you provide on your consent form.** You should use a space that is free of other people. It should also be difficult or impossible for people outside the space to see or hear your interactions with your therapist during the session. If you are unsure of how to do this, please ask your therapist for assistance. If you are at a location other than the one disclosed below please tell your therapist at the start of the session. ## Our Communication Plan After scheduling, your therapist will send you a meeting invitation with information for how to access our online secure platform for tele-health. At our first session, we will verify telephone contact information to use in the case of technology failures. If you need to contact your therapist between sessions, please use email or phone. Please note that all email or text messages you exchange with your therapist, will become a part of your health record. Text messages are for scheduling only. Therapy by phone is not ideal and not allowed for ongoing therapy, but only in the case of some kind of technical failure in the use of video conferencing. ## Our Safety and Emergency Plan As a recipient of telemental health-based services, **you will need to participate in ensuring your safety** during mental health crises, medical emergencies, and sessions that you have with your therapist. This will include providing an emergency contact and permission to communicate with this person about your care in the case of an emergency. As an outpatient mental health organization, we are not equipped to address emergencies. If you are ever experiencing an emergency, including a mental health crisis, please call and indicate the emergency clearly in your message. In the event of a psychiatric emergency: Dial 988, go to your local emergency room, find resources at [Mental Health Crisis Services](https://www.hhs.texas.gov/services/mental-health-substance-use/mental-health-crisis-services) or [211texas.org](https://www.211texas.org). Do NOT texts, e-mail, voice mail, or faxes for emergencies. ## Your Security and Privacy Our telehealth associates and electronic tools as well as our telehealth trained therapists seek to adhere to security best practices and applicable legal standards for the purposes of protecting your privacy and ensuring that records of your health care services are not lost or damaged. However, you also have a role to play in maintaining your security. Please use reasonable security protocols to protect the privacy of your own health care information. For example: when communicating with your therapist, use devices and service accounts that are protected by unique passwords that only you know. Also, use the secure tools that your therapist has supplied for communications. Please do not record video or audio sessions without your therapist’s consent. Making recordings can quickly and easily compromise your privacy and should be done so with great care. As a training institute, your therapist will record video or audio sessions for training purposes. ## Fuller Life Family Therapy Consent Consent to Telemental health is included with our general consent for treatment, which must be read and signed by all participating adults or on behalf of all participating minors. --- ### [TAPP](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tapp/) **Published:** January 27, 2022 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** ### Wish your team had mental health support? Partner with Fuller Life to support your team and help your team thrive [Learn More](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=114%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20) Mental health and relationship challenges don’t exist in isolation. They show up at work, at home, in schools, in congregations, and in every community where people gather. Organizations — including nonprofits, churches, and employers — are often the first place people seek help, yet many lack the mental health expertise, clinical staff, or clear pathways needed to connect people to care. Through trusted partnerships, Fuller Life meets people where they are, providing timely, professional mental health and relationship therapy through the **Therapy Assistance Partnership Program (TAPP).** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Screen-Shot-2022-01-27-at-7.57.52-PM-1-1024x406.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Screen-Shot-2022-01-27-at-7.57.52-PM-1.png) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/canstockphoto9664897.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/canstockphoto9664897.jpg) ##### A PARTNERSHIP WITH ## Fuller Life Can Help Our **Therapy Assistance Partnership Program (TAPP)**—similar to an Employee Assistance Program (EAP)—helps organizations provide both **short-term counseling and long-term therapy** for personal, relational, and emotional concerns. Each partnership is **customized** to your organization’s unique needs, with flexible options that may include **fixed rates and a set number of sessions** for eligible members. [Request more information](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=114) ## Our Therapy Assistance Partnerships [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Bammel-Logo-1-1024x384.png)](https://www.bammel.org/counseling) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Elijah-Rising-Logo.png)](https://elijahrising.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/FPC-Logo.png)](https://fpchouston.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/the-joe-niekro-foundation_logo.png)](https://niekrofoundation.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/LueWish_Logo_TXT.png)](https://luewish.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/NIA-logo.png)](https://www.neighborsinaction.com) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Noahs-house-edited-logo.png)](https://noahshousetx.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Landing-Edited-Logo.png)](https://thelanding.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/MSM-MAIN-LOGO.png)](https://msmhouston.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/nehemiah-rgb-logo-100h.png)](https://www.nehemiahcenterhouston.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/raiseupfamilies-logo.png)](https://raiseupfamilies.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/stjameslogo-copy.png)](https://www.stjameshouston.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/UMA-logo-279x300-1.png)](https://www.pvamu.edu/uma/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/VH-Square-Logo-1024x998.png)](https://villageheights.church) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Wolfies-Logo-1024x430.png)](https://www.wolfiesswimschool.com) Meet our team ## We work with you to meet your unique needs ## Interested in learning more about partnering with Fuller Life? **We’d love to connect.** **Meet Sika, our Partnerships Coordinator**, who will walk with you through the process and help explore how Fuller Life can support the mental and relational health needs within your organization. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/IMG_9863-1024x683.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/IMG_9863-scaled.jpeg)Sika Apaloo, Potential Partners Coordinator [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/IMG_6872-1024x768.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/IMG_6872-scaled.jpeg)YMCA of Greater Houston and the YMCA Christian Initiatives\\ ## What to Expect — 3 Simple Steps 01 ### **Start the Conversation** Complete our Therapy Assistance Partnership Program Interest Form. Sika will reach out to learn more about your organization and the community you serve. 02 ### **Explore Your Needs** We meet with your team to discuss your mental health, relational, or spiritual-emotional needs. This may include therapy services, group support, or educational offerings. 03 ### **Create a Custom Partnership** Together, we design a partnership that fits your organization. Once finalized, we formalize the partnership and begin supporting your people. ## How We Partner With Organizations We work alongside organizations to support mental, relational, and emotional wellbeing in ways that are practical, accessible, and responsive to your community ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/IMG_5939-scaled.jpg) ##### **Therapy Services** We provide professional therapy services for individuals connected to your organization, including: **Individual therapy Child and teen therapy Couple and family therapy** Therapy can be offered at one of our locations, on-site at your organization, or virtually. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/joe-niekro-partnership-1-scaled.jpeg) ##### Group Therapy for Organizations For organizations seeking shared support or preventative care, we offer **group therapy** tailored to your community’s needs. Groups may focus on topics such as stress, trauma, relationships, parenting, or emotional wellbeing and are designed to foster connection and healing. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/TAMFT-1.png) ##### Community Outreach and Education We partner with organizations to raise awareness and reduce stigma around mental and relational health by offering: 1\. **Educational talks and workshops** on mental health, relationship health, and spiritual-emotional wellbeing 2\. On-site presence at community events and health fairs to connect individuals to care and resources --- ### [Sika Apaloo, Resident Therapist](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sika-apaloo/) **Published:** October 4, 2025 **Author:** Shayla Johnson **Content:** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/IMG_9863-scaled.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/IMG_9863-scaled.jpeg)\#image\_title ### **Resident Therapist** ## Sika Apaloo I am a dedicated therapist who combines professional expertise with genuine compassion to support individuals, couples, and families on their journey toward healing and growth. I hold a Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy from *Houston Christian University* and a Master of Business Administration from *Texas Woman’s University*. As a mother of two, I understand firsthand the challenges and transitions that accompany relationships, parenting, and balancing life’s many demands. This personal perspective allows me to foster an empathetic, client-centered environment where each person feels seen, valued, and supported. I specialize in premarital and marital counseling, helping engaged and married couples build strong, lasting relationships rooted in communication, trust, and shared purpose. I am trained in The Gottman Method (Level 1), Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts (SYMBIS), Prepare & Enrich, Neurodevelopmental Attachment Play, and Debriefing. I also serve couples, families, and individuals preparing for, serving on, or returning from the missionary field. Beyond relationship counseling, I help clients navigate communication challenges, trust issues, anxiety, depression, grief, and major life transitions. My therapeutic approach integrates Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT), Person-Centered Therapy, and Existential Therapy, all grounded in a biblical foundation. My goal is to create a safe and supportive space where clients can explore their stories, strengthen relationships, and cultivate resilience, purpose, and hope. If you’re ready to take the next step toward healing and growth, I would be honored to walk alongside you. **Sika Apaloo, MAMFT, MBA** *Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Associate* *Under the supervision of Dr. Amy Fuller, LPC-S, LMFT-S* [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) I see clients in person at Fuller LIfe Main, and via secure tele-health and am available by appointment only. To schedule an appointment please contact me by email at by phone at [832 547 5952]() or through our [webform.](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## Where We Are We have 5 locations in Houston, Texas and provide telehealth in the state of Texas. 855-245-5433 info@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org --- ### [Shayla Johnson, Resident Therapist](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) **Published:** August 22, 2023 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-Headshot.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-Headshot.png) ### **Resident Therapist** ## Shayla Johnson, MA, MDiv Embarking on therapy is about understanding how we function, recognizing when we struggle, and sometimes, unraveling the reasons behind our challenges. Therapy serves as a space for decompression, where we can release burdens we may not even realize we’re carrying. It’s a multifaceted journey tailored to each client to unearth insights that often lie dormant within us but may require guidance to surface. As a professional with a Master of Arts in Counseling and a Master’s in Divinity from the Houston Graduate School of Theology, and licensed as a Professional Counselor Associate under the supervision of [Amy Fuller PhD, LPC-S, LMFT-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/ "Dr. Amy Fuller, Clinical Director"), I also hold a certificate in art therapy. I am dedicated to supporting you in your journey of self-discovery. I firmly believe that the answers we seek are within. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) I see clients in person at Fuller LIfe West and via secure tele-health and am available by appointment only. To schedule an appointment please contact me by email at by phone at [(713) 685-2049](tel:+18326852049) or thorough our [webform.](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) 10570 Westpark Dr, Houston, TX 77042 **Fuller Life West** 10570 Westpark Dr Houston, TX 77042 4545 Bissonnet, 289 Bellaire, TX **Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute** 4545 Bissonnet, St 289 Bellaire, TX 77401 ## Read articles by Shayla: --- ### [Erin Viramontes](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/erin/) **Published:** April 15, 2025 **Author:** Erin Viramontes **Content:** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Erin-V-Round-Team-Headshots.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Erin-V-Round-Team-Headshots.png)Erin Viramontes, LPC Associate ##### Resident Therapist ## Erin Viramontes Welcome! I have always had a heart for helping others. Before becoming a mental health professional, I advocated for children and families in crisis as both a foster parent and caseworker at Casa de Esperanza. My experience in these roles solidified my passion and provided a strong foundation to continue promoting the well-being of individuals and families in need. I enjoy working with adolescents and adults in individual, group, and family therapy. I have supported clients through a variety of challenges, including anxiety, depression, trauma, life transitions, parenting, and suicidal ideation. I believe counseling is a collaborative process with the therapeutic relationship as a powerful vehicle for change. With a calm and compassionate presence, I strive to create a safe space for deep reflection, honest conversation, and meaningful progress toward each client’s goals. My approach is primarily person-centered and strengths-based, with influences from cognitive behavioral therapy and mindfulness practices. I have personally experienced the life-changing love and grace of God, and I welcome conversations around spirituality for those who wish to explore or integrate it into therapy. I am originally from the Midwest but have called Houston home for the past eight years. Some of my favorite activities include cooking brunch food, outdoor exercise, and serving in my church community. I am honored to journey with the clients of Fuller Life toward growth and healing. --- I am a Licensed Professional Counselor-Associate under the supervision of [Amy Fuller, PhD, LPC-S, LMFT-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/ "Dr. Amy Fuller, Clinical Director"). I earned a Master of Science in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from the University of St. Thomas in Houston. I currently see individuals, couples, and families in person at [Fuller Life Loop](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/location/fuller-life-loop/ "Fuller Life Loop") and [Fuller Life North](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Fuller-Life-North-at-Bammel.png "Fuller Life North at Bammel") and virtually for telehealth. ### Contact Erin: To schedule an appointment, please contact me by email at [Erin@FullerLifeFamilyTherapy.org](mailto:erin@FullerLifeFamilyTherapy.org), by phone at [(832) 463-2503](tel:+18324632503 "+1834632503") or through our [webform.](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Donate Now](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=1&Amount=) ## Read articles by Erin: No posts --- ### [Ruth Hamstra](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/ruth/) **Published:** January 21, 2026 **Author:** Shayla Johnson **Content:** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Ruth-Round.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Ruth-Round.png) ### **Resident Therapist** ## Ruth Hamstra As poet Robert Frost wrote, “The best way out is always through.” I believe we each have a unique story and adapt to change in our own way as we navigate life’s challenges. As a systemic therapist, I view people within the context of their relationships and environment, helping them discover a path toward meaningful and positive change. In this context, my goal is to collaborate with individuals, couples, and families as they find “the way through” that Frost described, moving them toward the meaningful life that they desire. I am especially drawn to working with individuals, couples, and families as they move through life’s transition. Working from a systemic perspective, we will explore your significant relationships and how they may impact your current concerns. These relationships may include friends, intimate partners, family members, co-workers, and most importantly, the relationship you have with yourself. Anxiety, depression, trauma, and difficulties with coping can affect both individuals and their relationships. Support is also often helpful during predictable and unpredictable life changes, such as relationship changes, loss and illness, parenting, the transition to college, job changes, as well as experiences of trauma, including death, divorce, or abuse. I hold a Master’s Degree in Social Work from the University of Michigan (Ann Arbor, MI) with a concentration in clinical practice. I bring many years of experience working within a family systems approach in the health care, hospice, and legal worlds to collaborate with individuals, couples, and families during times of their greatest conflicts. As a mother of 4 and a grandmother to one, I have negotiated many life transitions as such and can meet you both as a human and a professional to help you discover the satisfying life you seek. Together, we will work to uncover your strengths and explore your concerns so that you can reinvigorate your life with balance, joy, and supportive relationships. **I am a Licensed Master Social Worker under the supervision of Clifton Fuller, MSW, LCSW-S, LPC-S, LMFT-S.** [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) I offer therapy for individuals, adolescents, couples, and families at Fuller Life Loop and via telehealth. To schedule an appointment please contact me by email at by phone at [832 356 3296 ](http://+18323563296)or through our [webform.](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## Where We Are We have 4 locations in Houston, Texas and provide telehealth in the state of Texas. 855-245-5433 info@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org --- ### [Jessica Coufal](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/jessica-coufal/) **Published:** September 15, 2025 **Author:** Shayla Johnson **Content:** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/Jessicas-Round-Headshot.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/Jessicas-Round-Headshot.png) ##### Graduate Therapist ## Jessica Coufal Welcome! After my undergraduate degree from Texas A &M in College Station, I attended Abilene Christian University’s online program for professionals, where I am currently enrolled as a Marriage and Family Therapy Graduate Student. I am a Graduate Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute this semester, where I shall complete my master’s work in relational and individual family therapy, under the Supervision of Amy Fuller. My experience includes over 20 years of advising, equipping, and working with individuals and families during some of the most meaningful, important, and stressful purchases and sales of their lives, and often for generations, as a broker in the State of Texas, as well as a Texas-trained mediator. My faith is the source of my strength. I believe in the Family and the Institution of Marriage for the family and community. Families come in different forms, but they care for and fulfill the needs of individuals and relationships in similar ways. All healthy communities are made up of healthy layers of members and individuals. Joining individuals and families who are willing to bring their resources to work for mental and behavioral health in their lives is a privilege of my profession and my life. Using Solution-Based Approaches, Natural Processing, and traditional client-driven clinical modalities, I intend to practice therapy with clients to support their growth and development. I am a dedicated Graduate Student Therapist pursuing my Master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy at Kairos University, under the supervision of [Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LPC-S, LMFT-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/ "Dr. Amy Fuller, Clinical Director").” I am currently seeing individuals, couples, and families in person at Fuller LIfe Main and virtually for telehealth. ### Contact : Jessica Coufal To schedule an appointment, please contact me by email at [Jessica@FullerLifeFamilyTherapy.org](mailto:allison@FullerLifeFamilyTherapy.org), by phone at [(713) 589-3706](http://+17135893706 "+17135893706") or thorough our [webform.](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Donate Now](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=1&Amount=) --- ### [Thank You for submitting a group therapy interest form](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/thank-you-for-submitting-a-group-therapy-interest-form/) **Published:** January 13, 2026 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** Thank you. We have received your form. Each participating person will need to have an initial conversation with the group therapist, complete a confidential information form, group consent and initial surveys. Please review our [Information for New Clients and our Notice of Privacy Practices Here](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/FL-Info-for-New-Clients-2018.pdf). If you have any questions please feel free to call our offices at [ (855) 245-LIFE (5433)](tel:+18552455433) or email [info@fullerlifefamilythearpy.org ](mailto:info@fullerlifefamilythearpy.org). To find contact information about your therapist please see [our therapists page.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/) Read our most recent blogs with tools for living well: [![self-kindness nurturing your inner adult](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/21-300x214.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-kindness/)#### [The Self-Kindness Your Inner Adult Deserves](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-kindness/) Most of us have said things to ourselves we'd never say to a friend. "Get it together." "Stop being so ... 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[Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/help-hurting-teens-how-to-recognize-and-respond-to-suicide-risk/) [![Two teenagers in casual attire, standing outdoors with a modern backdrop, smiling.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/two-teenagers-in-casual-attire-standing-outdoors-with-a-modern-backdrop-smiling.-4816754-300x169.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-spot-bullying-in-boys-and-intervene-early/)#### [How to Spot Bullying in Boys and Intervene Early](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-spot-bullying-in-boys-and-intervene-early/) Bullying is not just “kids being kids.” For adolescent boys, it can cause lasting harm to mental health, school performance, ... 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[Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-truth-about-teen-girls-and-mental-health-in-2025/) - [1](#) - [2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=2&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) - [3](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=3&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) - […](#) - [19](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=19&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) - [›](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=2&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) ![Loading...](data:image/gif;base64,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) --- ### [Be Well, Give Wellness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/yearend/) **Published:** October 28, 2025 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** # **Be Well, Give Wellness** *****Because Wellness is for Everyone***** ## Your support helps Houston families experience wellness through affordable, accessible mental health care. ## Help us reach our goal of $20,000 by December 31st. [Make a Year-End Gift Today!](https://givebutter.com/FLYE) [Be Well Video Playlist](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGuC6y3B24mDp4B5Gwhw9nRs0iGKE223J&si=SLTHeGObxPeSNmJg)[Wrap up your year with 31 days of Wellness Blog [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/yearend/)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/bewell/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/give-Wellness2.png)](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGuC6y3B24mDp4B5Gwhw9nRs0iGKE223J&si=HIravxvu-4yVFG_n) ## We invite you to foster well-being in 2 ways: 1 Be Well This season, we invite you to pause and care for your well-being. Everyday in December 2025 we will post a “Be Well” Video or tip with simple ways to rest, reconnect, and nurture your mind, body, and spirit**. Follow us on [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/FullerLifeFamilyTherapy), [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/fullerlifefamilyinstitute/), [LinkedIn](https://www.linkedin.com/company/fuller-life-family-therapy-institute/), [YouTube](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGuC6y3B24mDp4B5Gwhw9nRs0iGKE223J&si=nLLI2-YX38NfWv_l "YouTube")** **for BE WELL resources!** See all the videos here. 2 Give Wellness Help us fund our therapy, training and outreach programs. Our HEART *(Helping Everyone Access Resources for Therapy)* program removes financial barriers and our TAPP (Therapy Assistance Partnership Program) meets clients through trusted organizations reducing barriers to care so that life-changing therapy is accessible to all in our community. --- # **“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”** — – *Anne Lamott* **\*\*Rose and Tonya’s Story** When Tonya, a single mom in Houston, heard her daughter Rose say, *“I’m having thoughts of hurting myself,”* she felt her heart drop. The weight of it was overwhelming. Money was tight, and she wondered how she could possibly afford counseling for her daughter. But she remembered her church’s partnership with Fuller Life, which made it possible to get affordable, professional therapy right away. Because of **Fuller Life’s HEART *(******Helping Everyone Access Resources for Therapy)*** **Equity fund**, the sliding-scale rate was something she could manage. Within days, Rose was meeting with **a Fuller Life therapist**, with whom she immediately connected. Week by week, she returned. She began talking openly about her suicidal thoughts—the way they would sneak up on her, overwhelm her, or tell her things that simply weren’t true. Together with her Fuller Life therapist, she practiced new ways to respond to those thoughts with **awareness, compassion, and groundedness**. She practiced new ways to **steady herself** when those thoughts tried to pull her under. She learned what was happening in her brain and body. She learned she wasn’t alone. And slowly, **hope—and wellness—returned.** Tonya has her daughter back, and Rose is re-engaged in her life—back at school, reconnecting with friends, and creating art again. And it all began because one partnership made therapy accessible when Rose and her mom needed it most. **Be well. Give wellness.** Your generosity helps reduce barriers, expand partnerships, and make access to therapy possible for families across Houston. ![Be well story image](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/be-well-header-for-web-Untitled-design.png) [Make Your Year End Gift Today](https://givebutter.com/FLYE) \*\*For the sake of confidentiality, Tonya and Rose’s story is a composite of several real life Fuller Life clients. ## **2025 Impact** - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![Neighbors in Action](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) Thanks to supporters like you, in 2025, Fuller Life has seen growth in our **therapy program:** **individuals** participating in reduced fee therapy growth in the number of **TAPP Sessions** increase in the number of **HEART clients** increase in number of **new Clients** this year Thanks to supporters like you, in 2025, Fuller Life has seen growth in our **training program:** increase in the number of **therapists in training,** rising from 5 to 9. Hours of Clinical **Supervision** **Increase in speaking Engagements-** raising awareness and reducing stigma (from 6 to 12) Thanks to supporters like you, in 2025, Fuller Life has seen growth in our **outreach program:** Increase in The number of **TAPP Partnerships,** expanding from 14 to 20 Increase in community fairs…from **6 to 26 community fairs**. days of Prayer for mental health Grew the **HOPE Prayer Collective** with an Increase from 106 to 209 praying people Participated in our first ever **Mental Health Prayer Retreat** with rave reviews. Thanks to supporters like you, in 2025, Fuller Life has seen growth in our **organizational strategic aims:** Fuller Life GEMS give every month, a 37% increase in the **Number of GEMS** and 56% increase in the amount given Items in our newly Designed/implemented robust internal **financial controls** Raised in our first ever stellar art auction and **mental health benefit** – raising funds for 18 new HEART clients. requested via **26 grants** to fund our programs. *1 awarded, 10 denied, 15 Pending for 317K.* [See Our Outcomes](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/) [Make Your Year End Gift Today](https://givebutter.com/FLYE) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![Neighbors in Action](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) ## Quotes from Fuller Life Clients - > “I felt so understood, compassion felt like a precious gift. So grateful.” - > “I truly enjoy my therapist. She listens to me and makes me feel comfortable to speak what’s on my mind.” - > “I really love and appreciate how she explains what we are saying in a way for my partner and me to understand each other and our situation.” - > “Her empathy and compassion allowed me to be vulnerable and talk about things I was afraid to bring up. She helped us both see how our assumptions had led to misunderstandings.” - > “Our therapy sessions have helped not only save my family but my marriage. My husband and I are communicating better and able to work through our issues without fighting.” - > “I loved the ‘tone’ of the session. I’ve tried therapy before but always felt a disconnect. This feels right, and I’m excited for my journey.” - > “It was a really great session and I feel much more confident in myself as well as my future!” - > “I enjoy how personable and ‘real’ the therapist is. I feel comfortable to be myself and trust the expertise of our therapist.” - > The session today was hard but necessary. It helps me accept the reality of our issues. [See Our Clinical Outcomes](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/) ###### **A Vision for the Future** ## We’re excited to share our strategic plan with the goal of doubling our impact by 2028: ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Strategic-plan-photos-nov-2023-6.png) #### Doubling the number of clients we serve, expanding client reach to marginalized and underserved populations ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/FL-Graduation-2024_3722-1-scaled.jpg) #### Doubling the number of therapists we train, fostering a diverse, culturally responsive workforce equipped to meet the growing mental health needs of our community. ## We envision underserved communities saturated with affordable professional mental health care and highly trained family therapists, ensuring that mental health care is no longer a privilege but a resource available to all. ## Your Gift Can Change Lives ## $50 client fee for one therapy session ## $100 the actual cost to provide a therapy session ## $300 client fee for six therapy sessions. ## $500 supports 10 sessions—the average a client needs to make meaningful progress. ## $1,000 offers two individuals or families access to life-changing support or fees for 20 sessions. # **Join Us in Creating a Compassionate Community** ## Your donation is more than a gift; it’s a lifeline for someone facing mental health challenges. By contributing to our Be Well campaign you support our HEART Equity Program and our efforts to expand therapy to Houston’s underserved communities, ensuring that financial barriers **never** stand in the way of transformative care. ## *Be a part of the solution to Houston’s mental health crisis.* Donate by December 31st and help us bring compassionate presence to those who need it most. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Button-2024-Make-your-Year-End-Gift-Now.png)](https://givebutter.com/FLYE) *Fuller Life Institute is a 501c(3) not-for-profit organization in Houston, Texas (45-4267651). Providing affordable compassionate therapy to the Greater Houston area and faith-based intensive training for therapists and since 2012.* ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/candid-seal-platinum-2025-150x150.png) --- ### [Growing Kids and Teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/growing-kids-teens/) **Published:** December 17, 2016 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** [![sand tray therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/sand-therapy-canstockphoto88760472-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/magic-sand-tray/)[ADD-ADHD](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/add-adhd/ "ADD-ADHD")[Adolescents & Children](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/ "Adolescents & Children")[Child Abuse (Safety)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/child-abuse/ "Child Abuse (Safety)")[child therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/child-therapy/ "child therapy")[Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/ "Counseling")[creative therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/creative-therapy/ "creative therapy")[Depression, Bipolar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/depression-bipolar/ "Depression, Bipolar")[Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/play-therapy/ "Play Therapy")[Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/play-therapy/ "Play Therapy")[sandtray](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/sandtray/ "sandtray")[Social Skills](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/social-skills/ "Social Skills") #### [Working it out in the Sand: The Magic of Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/magic-sand-tray/) Sandtray can be used in all modes of therapy and is extremely effective for working through trauma. The use of ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/magic-sand-tray/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/canstockphoto69433674-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/5-discipline-strategies-kids-want-know/)[Communication](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/communication/ "Communication")[connection](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/connection/ "connection")[effective discipline](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/effective-discipline/ "effective discipline")[Empathy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/communication/empathy/ "Empathy")[Family Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/family-counseling/ "Family Therapy")[Modeling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/modeling/ "Modeling")[Parenting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/counseling-families/ "Parenting")[parenting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/parenting/ "parenting")[Parenting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/parenting/ "Parenting")[Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/ "Relationships")[Sticky](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/sticky/ "Sticky") #### [5 Discipline Strategies Your Kids Want You to Know – Disciplining Your Kids Well, Part 2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/5-discipline-strategies-kids-want-know/) In the first part of this blog series, we discussed some common misconceptions about discipline. We learned that discipline is ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/5-discipline-strategies-kids-want-know/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/canstockphoto47992599-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/disciplining-your-kids-well-part-1-common-misconceptions/)[Adolescents & Children](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/ "Adolescents & Children")[Communication](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/communication/ "Communication")[Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/ "Counseling")[discipline](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/discipline/ "discipline")[misconceptions](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/misconceptions/ "misconceptions")[Parenting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/counseling-families/ "Parenting")[parenting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/parenting/ "parenting")[Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/ "Relationships") #### [3 Common Misconceptions About Discipline You Need to Know – Disciplining Your Kids Well, Part 1](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/disciplining-your-kids-well-part-1-common-misconceptions/) Disciplining your kids is a necessary part of parenting. While it is essential, discipline can often be misunderstood. In this ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/disciplining-your-kids-well-part-1-common-misconceptions/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/canstockphoto41512531-e1551141816974-300x224.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/whats-the-weather-like-inside-you-mindfulness-for-kids-and-adults-alike/)[Adolescents & Children](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/ "Adolescents & Children")[adults](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/adults/ "adults")[children](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/children/ "children")[Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/ "Counseling")[emotions](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/emotions/ "emotions")[Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/ "Mental Health")[mindfulness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/mindfulness/ "mindfulness")[Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/ "Mindfulness Practice")[Parenting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/counseling-families/ "Parenting")[Parenting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/parenting/ "Parenting")[teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/teens/ "teens") #### [What’s the Weather Like Inside You? Mindfulness for Kids and Adults Alike](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/whats-the-weather-like-inside-you-mindfulness-for-kids-and-adults-alike/) At times our feelings can feel so jumbled and all over the place that it is hard to put words ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/whats-the-weather-like-inside-you-mindfulness-for-kids-and-adults-alike/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/canstockphoto17944160-e1531336412485-300x217.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/baby-makes-three/)[Adolescents & Children](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/ "Adolescents & Children")[baby](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/baby/ "baby")[conflict](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/conflict/ "conflict")[family](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/family/ "family")[Marriage](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/marriage-counseling/ "Marriage")[marriage](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/marriage/ "marriage")[Parenting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/counseling-families/ "Parenting")[parenting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/parenting/ "parenting")[Parenting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/parenting/ "Parenting")[Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/ "Relationships") #### [Baby Makes Three: Moving from Couple to Family](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/baby-makes-three/) A new baby can be a time for great celebration, but it can also be a terrifying and stressful experience ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/baby-makes-three/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/canstockphoto27592738-300x278.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4627-2/)[adolescents](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/adolescents/ "adolescents")[Adolescents & Children](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/ "Adolescents & Children")[children](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/children/ "children")[Cognitive Reframing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/cognitive-reframing/ "Cognitive Reframing")[connection](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/connection/ "connection")[Emotions and Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/emotions-and-relationships/ "Emotions and Relationships")[left and right brain integration](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/left-and-right-brain-integration/ "left and right brain integration")[Parenting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/counseling-families/ "Parenting")[parenting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/parenting/ "parenting")[parenting strategy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/parenting-strategy/ "parenting strategy")[Stress Management](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/stress-management/ "Stress Management") #### [How to Connect with Your Child When You Swear, He’s Lost it](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4627-2/) "'Mom, you never leave me a note in the middle of the night, and I hate homework!' 'What are you ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4627-2/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/canstockphoto8510755-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4532-2/)[ADD-ADHD](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/add-adhd/ "ADD-ADHD")[ADD/ADHD](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/addadhd/ "ADD/ADHD")[Adolescents & Children](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/ "Adolescents & Children")[Attention disorders](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/attention-disorders/ "Attention disorders")[child development](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/child-development/ "child development")[children](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/children/ "children")[Parenting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/counseling-families/ "Parenting")[parenting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/parenting/ "parenting")[Parenting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/parenting/ "Parenting")[Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/play-therapy/ "Play Therapy")[The Human Brain](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/the-human-brain/ "The Human Brain") #### [The Real Reason Why Children with ADHD Need Structure and Play](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4532-2/) “Your child has ADD? Follow a Routine!” How often have parents of children with ADD heard this message? One of ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4532-2/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Parents-and-daughter-e1411101302813-300x222.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/peaceful-parenting/)[Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/ "Mindfulness Practice")[Parenting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/counseling-families/ "Parenting")[parenting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/parenting/ "parenting")[parenting strategy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/parenting-strategy/ "parenting strategy")[peace](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/peace/ "peace")[positive engagement](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/positive-engagement/ "positive engagement")[Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/ "Self-Awareness")[Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/ "Self-Care Practices")[Stress Management](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/stress-management/ "Stress Management") #### [Peaceful Parenting – Because Punishment Is Not Enough](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/peaceful-parenting/) Imagine for a moment being at home, with all of your family present, and finding peace. A couple is enjoying ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/peaceful-parenting/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/canstockphoto13240733-e1403723670541-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/howtosaveourkids/)[adolescents](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/adolescents/ "adolescents")[Adolescents & Children](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/ "Adolescents & Children")[adolescents and children](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/adolescents-and-children/ "adolescents and children")[Communication](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/communication/ "Communication")[Empathy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/empathy/ "Empathy")[Parenting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/counseling-families/ "Parenting")[parenting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/parenting/ "parenting")[Sticky](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/sticky/ "Sticky")[teenagers](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/teenagers/ "teenagers")[Trauma and Loss](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/ "Trauma and Loss") #### [The Shift We Need to Save Our Kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/howtosaveourkids/) This article starts an ongoing series, titled "How To Save Our Kids", in an attempt to support our teens and families more. Stay ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/howtosaveourkids/) [![play therapy for children in houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/canstockphoto12837359-e1397663335116-300x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/playtherapy/)[Adolescents & Children](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/ "Adolescents & Children")[child therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/child-therapy/ "child therapy")[children](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/children/ "children")[Parenting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/parenting/ "Parenting")[Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/play-therapy/ "Play Therapy")[Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/play-therapy/ "Play Therapy")[self-assertion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/self-assertion/ "self-assertion")[self-care](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/self-care-2/ "self-care")[Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/ "Self-Care Practices")[Sticky](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/sticky/ "Sticky") #### [Life Lessons from the Play Therapy Room](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/playtherapy/) How often do we, as adults, catch ourselves re-learning something we knew how to do quite naturally as children? Part ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/playtherapy/) [Growing Kids and Teens](http://www.scoop.it/t/growing-kids-and-teens) --- ### [Brandyn Treat, Resident Therapist](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/brandyn-treat/) **Published:** August 23, 2023 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Brandyn-Treat-F-L-Headshot-1-e1692728244728-1014x1024.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Brandyn-Treat-F-L-Headshot-1-e1692728244728.png)Brandyn Treat, Resident Therapist ### **Resident Therapist** ## Brandyn Treat I do not know what brought you here, but I cannot wait to learn. My goal is to join on your journey with you. Whether your path is similar to mine or completely different, I would love to be invited to walk it with you. I believe every person has a purpose and value. I would love to help you fully realize and live into your purpose and value, while also helping you process the burdens you are carrying. I have been in youth ministry for 10+ years and have been so humbled by my experience. In my years of ministry, I have cherished the opportunity to walk alongside teenagers, parents, couples, and families. While to some, my affiliation with churches (and religion) is attractive as a therapist, for some of you, this may be a concern. To the former, I say I would love to be your therapist and hear what you are going through. To the latter, I say I am so sorry for any pain, judgment, or anything else that the church has made you feel. My aim is to be a safe person for all people. There is no exclusion to who I hope to see. I know reaching out can sometimes feel like the hardest part. I am eager to help those I can or point them in the direction of someone who can. Please contact me if I can be of assistance to you. I look forward to hearing from you! [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) I see clients in person at Fuller Life North, Fuller LIfe Main, and via secure tele-health and am available by appointment only. To schedule an appointment please contact me by email at by phone at [(832) 224-5961](tel:+18322245961) or through our [webform.](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## Where We Are We have 4 locations in Houston, Texas and provide telehealth in the state of Texas. 855-245-5433 info@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org --- ### [Riya Vettickal, Clinical Therapist](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/riya/) **Published:** January 7, 2019 **Author:** Riya Roney **Content:** [![Riya Roney](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Fuller-Life-2018-Riya-Roney-2.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Fuller-Life-2018-Riya-Roney-2.jpg)Riya Roney, Clinical Therapist, Fuller LIfe Graduate ##### Clinical Therapist ## Riya Roney Vettickal My goal is to help individuals live their best life. Having personally encountered and overcome unforeseen life-altering circumstances, I understand such seasons can seem hopeless. Nevertheless, with awareness, braveness, and the necessary skills, we can work together to address seemingly hopeless situations. I am honored and humbled to provide individual and family therapy to those who are hurting and seeking wellness. My passion is bringing healing and wholeness to individuals, couples, and families. I hold a Master of Arts in Professional Counseling from Dallas Baptist University. My training and education have prepared me to work with children, adolescents, teens, young adults, adults, as well as couples and families. I have also completed a comprehensive Online Therapy Training and have been certified to conduct telehealth. I am trained in Somatic EMDR and work with individuals and couples with trauma, mindfulness practices, and emotional regulation. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor and a Graduate of Fuller LIfe holding a Post-Graduate certificate in Marriage and Family Therapy. [Request an Appointment with Riya](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=118%20) ## Contact Riya: I see clients at both Fuller Life Loop and through tele-mental health. Please call or email for an appointment or submit our secure inquiry form. To schedule an appointment please contact me by email at , by phone at [(832) 463-2502](tel:+8324632502) or through our [webform.](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ![author avatar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Fuller-Life-2018-Riya-Roney-2.jpg) Riya Roney Clinical Therapist I hold a Master of Arts in Professional Counseling from Dallas Baptist University. My training and education have prepared me to work with children, adolescents, teens, young adults, adults, as well as couples and families. I have also completed a comprehensive Online Therapy Training and have been certified to conduct telehealth. I am trained in Somatic EMDR and work with individuals and couples with trauma, mindfulness practices, and emotional regulation. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor and a Graduate of Fuller LIfe holding a Post-Graduate certificate in Marriage and Family Therapy. [See Full Bio](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/riya-roney/) [ ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/riya-roney/) Mental Health Mindfulness EMDR Anxiety Emotion Regulation Counseling [ ![social network icon](data:image/svg+xml;base64,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) ](https://www.linkedin.com/in/riya-v-050269161/) ## Articles by Riya: [![Mindfulness Rain](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Picture1-1024x827.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindfully-weathering-the-storm-with-r-a-i-n/) [Anxiety Issues](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/anxiety-issues/) | [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) | [Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) | [Stress Management](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/stress-management/) ## [Mindfully Weathering the Storm with R.A.I.N. ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindfully-weathering-the-storm-with-r-a-i-n/) By [Riya Roney](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/riya-roney/) Instead of giving in to the storm inside, you can learn to equip yourself with the strategy of R.A.I.N. This strategy enables us to apply mindfulness in a self-compassionate way. [Read More Mindfully Weathering the Storm with R.A.I.N. ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindfully-weathering-the-storm-with-r-a-i-n/) [![mindful self care](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/canstockphoto102686218-1024x683.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/10-simple-ways-to-practice-mindful-self-care/) [Cognitive Reframing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/cognitive-reframing/) | [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) | [Self-Validation (affirmations)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/self-validation-affirmations/) | [Time Management](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/time-management/) ## [10 Simple Ways to Practice Mindful Self-Care](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/10-simple-ways-to-practice-mindful-self-care/) By [Riya Roney](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/riya-roney/) Mindfulness is the practice of being present and paying attention to the here-and-now. It takes intentionality of mindfulness to bring self-care into true practice.[Read More 10 Simple Ways to Practice Mindful Self-Care](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/10-simple-ways-to-practice-mindful-self-care/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/trauma-1024x683.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/trauma-in-the-body/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) | [Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/) | [Trauma and Loss](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/) ## [Trauma in the Body](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/trauma-in-the-body/) By [Riya Roney](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/riya-roney/) According to Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk, trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust.[Read More Trauma in the Body](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/trauma-in-the-body/) ## Read articles by Riya: ## Read articles by Riya: --- ### [Thank you for your donation! - GEMS](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/thank-you-for-becoming-a-gem/) **Published:** July 31, 2025 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** # Thank you for becoming a Fuller Life GEM!!! **fuller Life GEMS shine bright for mental health** [See our Outcomes](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/) We hope you feel the impact of your generosity each month. You are seen, appreciated, and deeply valued. Thank you for being a GEM! ## Because of you, healing is happening. Your monthly gift sustains our HEART Equity Fund, making it possible for individuals and families—many of whom cannot even afford our lowest sliding scale—to receive life-changing therapy. You’re not just giving. You’re building a “Fuller Life” for someone in need. ## 55 GEMS and growing! As a GEM, you are part of a growing community of changemakers committed to transforming mental health access in Houston. Together, we’re offering more than sessions—we’re offering presence, hope, and the tools to heal. ### Here’s what your support makes possible: ###### Clients paying as little as $5 receive quality, trauma-informed therapy ###### Bilingual therapists serve families in under-resourced communities ###### Future therapists are trained with excellence to meet Houston’s diverse needs ###### Clients report significant progress in just 5–10 sessions You will be receiving a welcome series of emails/texts with a short video to help you grow more familiar with our mission and programs. If you ever have any questions about being a GEM reach out to leadership@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org or see the [FAQ’s on our GEMS page.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gem/) Thank you for being a GEM. [![GEMS](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/GEMS-March-22-Dinner-2025-1024x768.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/GEMS-March-22-Dinner-2025-scaled.jpeg)GEMS appreciation dinners 2025 ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/FL-mission-and-vision.png) --- ### [Thank You for your Donation!](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/thank-you-for-your-donation/) **Published:** December 17, 2016 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** We are so grateful for your support! Your donation will enable us to continue making mental health and family therapy services accessible to Houstonians and Texans. Your transaction has been completed, and a receipt for your purchase has been emailed to you. You may log into your account at www.paypal.com to view details of this transaction. For any questions, please email us at info@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org or call 855-245-5433. --- ### [Gisselle Balderas](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gisselle/) **Published:** June 12, 2025 **Author:** Shayla Johnson **Content:** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/Gisselle-Balderas-FL-Headshot-1.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/Gisselle-Balderas-FL-Headshot-1.jpeg)Gisselle Balderas, LPC Associate ##### Bilingual Resident Therapist ## Gisselle Balderas Welcome! I believe therapy works best when it is a collaboration. You are the expert on your own life, and my role is to walk alongside you, not to fix you, but to support you in discovering what healing looks like for you. Together, we create a space that is grounded in safety, trust, and honesty—where you can explore your thoughts, emotions, and experiences without fear of judgment. Over the past two years, I have worked with individuals and families facing a wide range of challenges, from emotional overwhelm and stress to complex personal histories and life transitions. I have experience supporting clients who are navigating the justice system, struggling with behavioral patterns that impact relationships, or feeling stuck in ways that are hard to name. My work often includes holding space for conversations that others may shy away from—complicated family dynamics, identity concerns, shame, and healing from harm. When I work with adolescents, I also involve families in the process whenever it is helpful. I have seen how powerful it can be when caregivers and young people begin to understand each other in new ways. I am bilingual in English and Spanish and have experience supporting Spanish-speaking children and families. I strive to create a culturally responsive space where people of all backgrounds feel respected and seen. My approach is person-centered and holistic. That means I consider the whole person—mind, body, and spirit—and tailor our work to reflect your values, beliefs, and needs. If spirituality is a meaningful part of your life, I welcome the opportunity to incorporate that into our work in a way that feels authentic to you. If you are feeling unsure about therapy, that is completely normal. Taking the first step is often the hardest, and I would be honored to walk with you from wherever you are now. --- I am a Licensed Professional Counselor-Associate under the supervision of [Amy Fuller, PhD, LPC-S, LMFT-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/ "Dr. Amy Fuller, Clinical Director"). I offer therapy for people of all ages in English or Spanish, with a special focus on adolescents, young adults, and adults in person at Fuller Life Loop and East, and virtually for telehealth. ### Contact Gisselle: To schedule an appointment, please contact me by email at [Gisselle@FullerLifeFamilyTherapy.org](mailto:gisselle@FullerLifeFamilyTherapy.org), by phone at [(832) 225-4714](http://tel+18322254714) or through our [webform.](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) Address: **Fuller Life East at Neighbors in Action** 7927 Flaxman St Houston, TX 77029 Phone: [ (855) 245-5433 ](tel:+18552455433) Email: [ info@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org ](mailto:info@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org) Address: **Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute** 4545 Bissonnet, St 289 Bellaire, TX 77401 Phone: [ +1 (855) 245-5433 ](tel:+18552455433) Email: [ info@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org ](mailto:info@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org) [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Donate Now](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=1&Amount=) ## Read articles by Gisselle: --- ### [Our Story](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/home/counseling-story/) **Published:** March 14, 2012 **Author:** FullerLife **Content:** Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute provides quality counseling, including [marriage](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/) and [family](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) therapy for persons of all [incomes. ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/forms-affordable-fees/affordable-counseling/)Our resident therapists see clients [on a sliding scale](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/forms-affordable-fees/affordable-counseling/) fee structure. We assist anyone who desires to seek counseling as an avenue toward a “fuller life”. Our hope for all of our clients is growth in all areas. This includes relational, emotional, mental, spiritual wellness, and healing. Read about our [core values](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/about-fuller-life/therapists-core-values/ "Core Values") to learn more about our approach to therapy and training. [Watch Video about Fuller Life](https://youtu.be/_QL6TLyPnrg)[Our 10 Year Impact](https://www.flipbookpdf.net/web/site/52e04e520bd047f837284b79c60ef5e2c260fe11FBP21537393.pdf.html#page/1) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Fuller-life-team-color-2021-1024x538.png) Fuller Life Team 2022 - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/fl-team-2-scaled-e1644171591532-1024x545.jpg) Fuller Life Team 2020 - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-2018-1112-103-1024x724.jpg) Fuller Life Team 2018 - ![Fuller life team 2015](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Team-2-1.9mg-1024x682.jpg) Fuller Life Team 2016 - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6808-1024x682.jpg) Fuller Life Team 2014 ##### The Dream Fuller Life was founded in 2012 with a dream of providing post-graduate training to developing therapists pursuing full licensure while simultaneously offering quality, affordable therapy to the community. [Dr. Amy Fuller ](https://amyfullerphd.com "Dr. Amy Fuller ")is the founder and Clinical Director of Fuller Life Family Therapy bringing many years of counseling experience and expertise in the field of [Marriage](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/) and [Family](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) therapy to help facilitate the professional development of post-graduate fellows through supervision and ensure the highest quality of care for clients at Fuller Life. ##### The Struggle While pursuing her doctorate in Marriage and Family Therapy, Amy Fuller discovered a startling contrast in post-graduate training. Her journey toward licensure was lonely, unstructured and costly, sharply differing from her husband’s experience in medical residency. His training was programmatic and community-focused, serving underserved and indigent populations, and integrating group learning with practical service and intensive clinical training. ##### A New Approach This contrast inspired Dr. Fuller to envision a new approach in mental health training. In 2012, she founded Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, modeled after the medical residency framework. Thus, she recognized the potential to not only improve the training of therapists but also to address the disparities in mental health outcomes, especially in marginalized communities. Fuller Life was established with a dual mission: to provide exceptional, competency-based training for therapists and to serve historically underserved communities. The institute implements a counseling residency model, offering practice-based feedback and supervision at a rate four times the required minimum. This intensive approach is coupled with a formalized educational curriculum and a learner-based spiritual-psychosocial training context. ##### Meeting Community Needs By linking the training program to a sliding-scale service model, Fuller Life bridges the gap between therapist training and community needs. This model not only ensures quality-assured therapy services for at-risk populations but also aligns with the aim of addressing mental health disparities. Dr. Fuller’s vision brings to life an institute where the development of therapists and the provision of accessible mental health services go hand in hand, embodying a commitment to fostering long-term improvements in community mental health. The Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute is a not-for-profit charitable organization with full 501(c)(3) status with the IRS. [Contributions](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-donations/) are tax-deductible. We are grateful to the various individuals, churches, and organizations that partner with us in our dream. They make it possible for us to serve the people in the Houston Area regardless of their ability to pay. # OUR MISSION **We train, empower and support developing therapists who provide professional therapy to families and individuals at affordable rates.** ## Partner We partner with other like-minded organizations through our therapy assitance partnership. We have multiple was to support our mission. [Partner with Us](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/partner/) ## Train We are a postgraduate training institute for developing therapists with a focus on the person of the therapist. [OUR TRAINING](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/) [Training Interest Form](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/) ## Support Fuller Life is a 501c3 non-profit organization and relies on generous donations. [DONATE](https://www.justgiving.com/fullerlifeinstitute) ## Therapy We offer professional therapy for [individuals,](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/) [children](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/), [teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/), [couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/) and [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) in our two Houston locations and online in the state of Texas. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## Connect Want to stay connected? Sign up to get our monthly tips for mental, emotional, relational and spiritual wellness. Stay informed about our mission and organization. [Monthly Wellness Tips](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=109) [DONATE NOW](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=1&Amount=) --- ### [About](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/about/) **Published:** September 23, 2021 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** ### We all want to live **a full life.** ### When we face overwhelming emotional pain or relationship trouble, we need professional and **compassionate therapy** to heal. ### There are many people who face barriers to professional help. **Pain doesn’t discriminate** between those with access to therapy and those without. --- ##### Barrier #1: Therapy is expensive --- ##### Barrier #2: No health insurance --- ##### Barrier #3: Time away from work ## We believe everyone deserves access to affordable mental health care AND family therapy. --- [REQUEST AN APPOINTMENT](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[DONATE NOW](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/YEAREND/) ## At Fuller Life, we are committed to making therapy accessible to all people, so we ensure our professional services are: #### ACCESSIBLE We have two locations in Houston, Texas and can meet virtually via Telehealth within the state of Texas. [OUR LOCATIONS](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/) #### AFFORDABLE Our therapy fees are set uniquely for each person or family based on a sliding scale and the household income. [OUR FEES](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/forms-affordable-fees__trashed/affordable-counseling/) #### APPROPRIATE We offer different types and forms of therapy services depending on the need. We discuss this in our initial call. OUR SERVICES #### AVAILABLE We offer flexible hours, including nights and weekends. Same day appointments are also available, [CONTACT US](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) # OUR MISSION **We train, equip, and empower developing therapists who provide professional therapy to families and individuals at affordable rates.** ![Fuller life team 2015](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Team-2-1.9mg-1024x682.jpg) Fuller Life Team 2016 ## We offer stellar therapy at rates anyone can afford. Since 2012, our postgraduate training program has been developing top-notch therapists who are trained to help people heal and even grow from the pain that they carry while providing therapy at rates anyone can afford. [Learn about our training program](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/) # CARE to join us? # Join our generous community of **“LIFE GIVERS”** who care that EVERYONE has access to mental health care. ## DONATE Give a one-time or monthly gift to ensure that we can continue to provide beneficial therapy at rates affordable to anyone. ## SHARE Talk about our services in person or on social media. You never know who may be suffering silently but wants therapy to help them navigate their life challenges ## INVITE Take your giving a step further by inviting your friends and family to become mental health care advocates by donating to Fuller Life Family Therapy. [DONATE NOW](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/YEAREND/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/gem-canstockphoto3932748-1024x877.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gem/) ##### WE WANT YOU TO ## Be a Fuller Life GEM Join our generous community of Fuller Life GEMS! Our GEM’s Give Every Month and are the backbone of our ability to provide therapy services to all people regardless of their ability to pay. [JOIN OUR GEMS COMMUNITY](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gem/) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/fuller-life-website.jpg) [](https://youtu.be/0pmeBC46sHI?si=9e1kJ8J54dy0OnjH) --- ### [Nicole Thompson](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/nicole-thompson/) **Published:** January 31, 2024 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/Images-of-Nicole-Thompson-for-FL-website-2-1024x1024.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/Images-of-Nicole-Thompson-for-FL-website-2.png)Nicole Thompson, Resident Therapist ##### Resident Therapist ## Nicole Thompson > Your story, pain, and struggles matter, and I am here to help you discover and examine some patterns and challenges that cause you to behave and respond in ways you do that may be unhealthy. Often, we need someone to join us to ask the right questions that help facilitate that discovery and learning process. When we understand our story, it is only then that we can start learning skills that will help us to get unstuck, maintain, and sustain change. My approach is collaborative as I partner with my clients to help them find the answers within themselves. > > I am passionate about partnering with individuals, including teenagers, couples, and families. I enjoy seeing couples establish and enrich their relationships as they learn about their attachment styles and family-of-origin issues that have impacted them. My holistic approach explores all that affects the mind, body, and spirit. I serve those who need help learning how to manage life transitions, depression, anxiety, loss, spiritual issues, and identity, and those who have suffered some trauma, including domestic violence and betrayal trauma. My approach is client-centered, respectful, genuine, and empathic, firmly believing their lives and relationships can improve. For those who want to incorporate their faith in their healing journey, I welcome you to include this as much as possible. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) I hold a master’s degree in counseling psychology from Capella University and marriage and family therapy from Capella and Houston Christian University, respectively. I am a Prepare/Enrich and Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts (SYMBIS) facilitator which I use in my work with couples preparing for marriage. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapy Associate under the supervision of [Amy Fuller PhD, LMFT, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/). Spending time with my spouse and three adult children, traveling, dining at Houston’s wide range of restaurants, and attending Symphonic performances a few times yearly are events I look forward to and make time for. I also love a good movie and novel when I get the time to delve in. As an avid world traveler, I enjoy working with clients from different cultural and religious backgrounds, as I did when I lived for many years in Southeast Asia. I look forward to partnering with you on your road to healing. ## Contact Nicole: I see clients at [Fuller Life West, Fuller Life Loop,](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/ "Locations and fees") and through tele-mental health. Learn more about my [locations and fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/ "Locations and fees") here. Please call or email for an appointment or submit our secure inquiry form. To schedule an appointment please contact me by email at , by phone at [(832) 685-2030](http://tel+18326852030) or through our [webform.](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## Read articles by Nicole: --- ### [Dr. Amy Fuller, Clinical Director](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) **Published:** March 14, 2012 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** [![Am Fuller](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Amy-Fuller-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-scaled-e1630913319630-1017x1024.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Amy-Fuller-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-scaled-e1630913319630.jpg)[Dr. Amy Fuller, Clinical Director](https://www.amyfullerphd.com) ## Clinical Director ## Amy Fuller PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S, CST Amy Fuller serves as the Clinical Director of Fuller Life Family Therapy. She brings over 25 years of experience and expertise in the field of Marriage and Family Therapy to Fuller Life. Her role focuses on facilitating the professional development of post-graduate therapists and ensuring the quality of care for our clients. Amy Fuller holds a Doctor of Philosophy in Marriage and Family Therapy from St. Mary’s University and a Masters Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Abilene Christian University. Dr. Fuller is a Clinical Member of the [American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists](https://aamft.org) and an *Approved AAMFT Supervisor.* In addition, she is a board-approved supervisor for Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists and Licensed Professional Counselors in the state of Texas. Dr. Fuller is a *Certified Sex Therapist and Supervisor* with the [American Association of Sex Educators Counselors and Therapists](https://www.aasect.org). Dr. Fuller is also a Certified Spiritual Director. Dr. Fuller sees clients in Houston, Texas specializing in **trauma, couples, and sex therapy.** She offers a unique intensive format for couples utilizing the [Crucible Approach](https://www.international-crucible-education-center.org) and utilizes [Somatic EMDR or Natural Processing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/somatic-emdr-natural-processing/ "Somatic EMDR with Natural Processing") for trauma work. To read more about [Dr. Amy Fuller](https://www.amyfullerphd.com) or to find out more about her personal therapy services click the button below. [AmyFullerPhd.com](https://www.amyfullerphd.com)[Request an appointment with Dr. Fuller](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=100) She holds extensive training in the crucible approach, sex therapy, healing trauma and EMDR, hypnosis, play therapy and tele-mental health. See more about her **[experience, training and credentials.](https://www.amyfullerphd.com/about-dr-amy-fuller/)** Furthermore, Dr. Fuller is an Adjunct Professor of Counseling at the Houston Graduate School of Theology. She serves as the Sexuality Specialization Director for the **[Doctorate of Profession Counseling at HGST.](https://www.hgst.edu/dpc-program)** To read more about Dr. Amy Fuller or to find out more about her personal therapy services you can visit [www.AmyFullerPhd.com](https://amyfullerphd.com), email her at or call [ (832) 848-0870](tel:+18328480870). ## Read articles by Dr. Fuller: ## --- ### [Bobby Maynard, Chief Strategy Officer](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/bobby/) **Published:** February 7, 2025 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** ## Bobby Maynard ###### Chief Strategy Officer Bobby joins Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute as Chief Strategy Officer, bringing over 25 years of experience in nonprofit leadership, strategic development, and fundraising. Having led strategic planning efforts for nonprofits in 23 countries and secured over $25 million in funding, he has a proven track record of driving sustainable growth in mental health, education, and community development. With a Master’s in Strategic Management, Bobby specializes in aligning mission-driven organizations with clear objectives and operational strategies that create lasting impact. His relationship with Fuller Life began in 2023 when he led the organization through a comprehensive strategic planning process with the [Future Four Consultation team](https://www.future4group.com), helping shape a vision that expands mental health access and strengthens therapist training. As the leader of the [Mental Wellness Workgroup for Houston Responds](https://www.houstonresponds.org/mental-wellness-workgroup), Bobby builds collaboration between churches and mental health organizations, equipping faith communities to better serve individuals facing mental health challenges. Inspired by the [40 Days of Prayer for Fuller Life’s strategic vision](http://hope) in the fall of 2024, he felt called to deepen his involvement in the organization’s mission. His expertise in strategic growth, stakeholder engagement, and program development will be instrumental in expanding Fuller Life’s reach and impact for years to come. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Bobby-Maynard-Round-Team-Headshots.png) # Contact: - Bobby@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org - [(832) 616-9473](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/bobby/) - [Bobby Maynard on LinkedIn](https://www.linkedin.com/in/bobby-maynard-75a39a91?lipi=urn%3Ali%3Apage%3Ad_flagship3_profile_view_base_contact_details%3B%2FCAORb7NRc6ro81ryKBlmg%3D%3D) --- ### [Thank You for your TAPP Referral](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/thank-you-tapp-referral/) **Published:** March 18, 2025 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** ## Thank you for the referral! ## We deeply value our partnership and appreciate your trust in our team. ## A member of our therapy team will reach out to your referral asap! ## Please reach out to our Outreach Coordinator for questions. ## Our Therapy Assistance Partnerships [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Bammel-Logo-1-1024x384.png)](https://www.bammel.org/counseling) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Elijah-Rising-Logo.png)](https://elijahrising.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/FPC-Logo.png)](https://fpchouston.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/the-joe-niekro-foundation_logo.png)](https://niekrofoundation.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/LueWish_Logo_TXT.png)](https://luewish.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/NIA-logo.png)](https://www.neighborsinaction.com) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Noahs-house-edited-logo.png)](https://noahshousetx.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Landing-Edited-Logo.png)](https://thelanding.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/MSM-MAIN-LOGO.png)](https://msmhouston.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/nehemiah-rgb-logo-100h.png)](https://www.nehemiahcenterhouston.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/raiseupfamilies-logo.png)](https://raiseupfamilies.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/stjameslogo-copy.png)](https://www.stjameshouston.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/UMA-logo-279x300-1.png)](https://www.pvamu.edu/uma/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/VH-Square-Logo-1024x998.png)](https://villageheights.church) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Wolfies-Logo-1024x430.png)](https://www.wolfiesswimschool.com) Meet our team ## We work with you to meet your unique needs Want to find out more? Let us meet the mental health needs within your organization through an innovative partnership! Complete this interest form and one of our team members will connect with you. Therapy Assistance Partnership Program Interest Form ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Bridgett-FL-Headshot-15.png) ##### Bridgett Edgar Outreach Coordinator [Call Bridgett](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/tel+18325218808)[Email Bridgett](mailto:brigett@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Bobby-Maynard-Round-Team-Headshots.png) ##### Bobby Maynard Chief Strategy Officer Call Bobby[Email Bobby](mailto:alana@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org) --- ### [Thank you Retreat Registration](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/retreat-registration/) **Published:** March 18, 2025 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** ## Thank you for registering for our Mental Health Prayer Retreat ## We’re so glad you will join us for our prayer retreat focused on mental health and wellness on May 17th. You will receive an email with more information. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/FL-mission-and-vision.png) --- ### [Thank you - Partnership Referral](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/thank-you-partnership-referral/) **Published:** March 18, 2025 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** ## Thank you for the referral! ## We deeply value our partnership and appreciate your trust in our team. ## A member of our therapy team will reach out to your referral asap! ## If you have any questions, please contact our Outreach Coordinator—we’re here to support you! ## Our Therapy Assistance Partnerships [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Bammel-Logo-1-1024x384.png)](https://www.bammel.org/counseling) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Elijah-Rising-Logo.png)](https://elijahrising.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/FPC-Logo.png)](https://fpchouston.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/the-joe-niekro-foundation_logo.png)](https://niekrofoundation.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/LueWish_Logo_TXT.png)](https://luewish.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/NIA-logo.png)](https://www.neighborsinaction.com) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Noahs-house-edited-logo.png)](https://noahshousetx.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Landing-Edited-Logo.png)](https://thelanding.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/MSM-MAIN-LOGO.png)](https://msmhouston.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/nehemiah-rgb-logo-100h.png)](https://www.nehemiahcenterhouston.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/raiseupfamilies-logo.png)](https://raiseupfamilies.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/stjameslogo-copy.png)](https://www.stjameshouston.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/UMA-logo-279x300-1.png)](https://www.pvamu.edu/uma/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/VH-Square-Logo-1024x998.png)](https://villageheights.church) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Wolfies-Logo-1024x430.png)](https://www.wolfiesswimschool.com) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/FL-mission-and-vision.png) ## Our Therapy Assistance Partnerships [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Bammel-Logo-1-1024x384.png)](https://www.bammel.org/counseling) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Elijah-Rising-Logo.png)](https://elijahrising.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/FPC-Logo.png)](https://fpchouston.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/the-joe-niekro-foundation_logo.png)](https://niekrofoundation.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/LueWish_Logo_TXT.png)](https://luewish.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/NIA-logo.png)](https://www.neighborsinaction.com) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Noahs-house-edited-logo.png)](https://noahshousetx.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Landing-Edited-Logo.png)](https://thelanding.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/MSM-MAIN-LOGO.png)](https://msmhouston.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/nehemiah-rgb-logo-100h.png)](https://www.nehemiahcenterhouston.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/raiseupfamilies-logo.png)](https://raiseupfamilies.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/stjameslogo-copy.png)](https://www.stjameshouston.org) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/UMA-logo-279x300-1.png)](https://www.pvamu.edu/uma/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/VH-Square-Logo-1024x998.png)](https://villageheights.church) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Wolfies-Logo-1024x430.png)](https://www.wolfiesswimschool.com) --- ### [Thank you - Outreach Calendar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/thank-you-outreach/) **Published:** March 18, 2025 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** ## We got it! Thank you for your donation and supporting our mission to make therapy accessible in Houston and train top-notch therapists. Thank you so much! ## We’re so glad to have your support! We could not provide the services we do without support from our community. Gifts like the one you just made are vital for reaching our mission. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/FL-mission-and-vision.png) --- ### [Privacy Statement](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/privacy-statement/) **Published:** March 4, 2025 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute (“we,” “us,” or “our”) respects your privacy. While we do not collect personal or client information directly on this website, we use third-party services that may collect limited data through cookies or tracking technologies. 1. Information Collection - We do not collect personal or client information through this website. - Any sensitive data is collected through our HIPAA-compliant service, which is separate from this website. - Third-party services (e.g., Google Ads, Google Analytics) may use cookies to track site usage. 2. Use of Cookies & Google Ads - We use Google Ads and Google Analytics to analyze website traffic and improve user experience. - Google may collect anonymous data for ad targeting. You can manage preferences via Google’s Ad Settings at . - To disable cookies, adjust your browser settings. 3. Third-Party Services - Our website may include links to external sites. We are not responsible for their privacy practices and recommend reviewing their policies. 4. Changes to This Policy We may update this policy periodically. Any changes will be posted here. This is not our NOTICE OF PRIVACY PRACTICES. See our practices regarding confidentiality [here](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/information-new-clients/ "Information for New clients"). --- ### [Love Week - Hope Collective](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/love-week/) **Published:** February 6, 2025 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** 5 days. 5 prayers. Stronger Marraiges.# Will you Pray with Us? [Join Us](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=122) growing together in love## 5 days. 5 prayers. Stronger Marriages. From **February 10-14, 2025**, we are dedicating five days to praying for marriages—focusing on faith, love, and resilience through the [**Four Points of Balance**](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/personal-growth-for-interpersonal-relationships/ "The Best Way To Save Your Relationship") and stories of how Jesus interacted with others. Healthy marriages strengthen families, communities, and future generations. Unheaththy marriages impact children for life. This prayer journey is for **anyone**—whether you’re married, engaged, supporting a loved one, or simply passionate about strong, faith-filled relationships. Join the **HOPE Collective** as we pray for couples to grow in love, wisdom, and faith. Will you join us? [Sign Up](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=122) [![hope collective logo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Hope-Collective-Logo2-1-e1725807489100-300x162.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/hope/) **What to expect** ## If you join our prayer movement, you’ll receive an email each morning from February 10 to Valentines Day, February 14, 2025. ## Here’s what it will include: ### **Scripture for the Day** A carefully chosen Biblical story reflecting how Jesus lived and demonstrated love in human relationship. ### **Guided Prayer** A heartfelt prayer related to the focus of the day inviting God into your relationships and lifting up the marriages of those you love. ### **Reflection & Devotional** A short devotional inspired by the **[Four Points of Balance](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/personal-growth-for-interpersonal-relationships/ "The Best Way To Save Your Relationship")**, offering relationship truths and tools modeled by Jesus in his life and ministry. ### **Daily Practice & Application** A small but impactful action to encourage putting prayer into practice, strengthening your relationships in tangible ways. ### **Worship Song for the Day** A meaningful worship song to encourage reflection and invite God’s presence into your prayer time. ### **Community of Prayer Partners** A **supportive community** lifting up marriages in faith, believing in God’s healing and renewal together. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Hope-Collective-Love-Week-2025.png) It’s simple to join ## **How to Join the 5 Days of Prayer for Marriage** 01 ### **Sign up** to receive daily prayers via text or email. 02 ### **Pray with us** each day, wherever you are. 03 ### **Share this journey** with your spouse, family, or small group. [Sign Up](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=122) A Community of Prayer, Healing, and Transformation ## What is the [HOPE Collective](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/hope/)? The **HOPE Collective** is a community committed to praying for **mental, emotional, and relational healing**, born from the belief that **healing happens in community** and the power of **collective prayer**. ## Why We Started In 2024, we launched our first **40 Days of Prayer for Fuller Life**, hoping for a small group of prayer partners. The overwhelming response—**106 people praying together**—confirmed what we already knew: people want to stand in prayer for **healing, wholeness, and hope**. From that foundation, we are expanding our focus to include **intentional times of prayer for mental health, marriage, and relationships** throughout the year. ## Who We Are The HOPE Collective is for **anyone** who believes in the power of prayer and wants to stand in faith for others. We are: 1\. **Individuals who care deeply about mental and relational well-being** 2\. **A prayer movement seeking God’s wisdom and healing** 3\. **A community of encouragers, lifting up those who need support** We are not just praying for change—we are **believing for transformation**. ## What We Do Throughout the year, the HOPE Collective gathers (virtually in spirit) for focused times of prayer, including: **5 Days of Prayer for Marriage (February 10-14, 2025)** **31 Days of Prayer for Mental Health (May 2025)** When you join the **HOPE Collective**, you become part of a movement that prays **with purpose, expectation, and faith**—believing that God is working in the lives of those we lift up. - > I was so encouraged in my heart to know of the mission of Fuller’s Team and the Christ Centered leadership. > > It gave me both joy and comfort in my daily walk of faith to be praying for such a needed ministry that helps many to become whole again. ![Samira Fitts](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Samira-Fitts-150x150.png) Samira Fitts Hope Collective Member - > It was a wonderful experience to be part of this 40 days of prayer and I can’t wait to see God’s response to the prayers that were elevated during this time. Hope Collective Member - > I have a great appreciation for the humbleness of the Fuller Life team based on the things they asked for prayer on. > > People helping others mentally who still seek guidance and wisdom from God seems powerful and healthy. Hope Collective Memeber Pray with us## *Faithful Love, One Prayer at a Time.* [Join the Movement](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=122) --- ### [Bianca Garcia](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/bianca/) **Published:** December 31, 2024 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** [![Bianca Garcia](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Bianca-Round-Team-Headshots.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Bianca-Round-Team-Headshots.png)Bianca Garcia ### **Bilingual Graduate Therapist** ## Bianca Garcia Welcome! I’m so glad you’re here. I’m Bianca Garcia and my passion lies in helping individuals heal, grow, and cultivate stronger, more meaningful connections. Whether you’re navigating challenges in your personal life, relationship, or family, it takes courage to seek support, and I honor that step you’ve taken. I believe that the foundation of a fulfilling life is built on healthy, authentic relationships. Our connections with others—whether partners, family, or friends—are vital to our mental and emotional well-being. In therapy, my goal is to support you in navigating the complexities of these relationships, while also empowering you to find clarity, resolution, and healing.In our time together, you can expect a warm, empathetic space where vulnerability is welcomed, and your voice is always heard. Therapy is a courageous step toward healing, and I strive to create an environment where you can express your feelings, experiences, and challenges without fear of judgment. I am currently pursuing a graduate degree in Counseling from Texas Southern University under the supervision of [Amy Fuller PhD, LPC-S, LMFT-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/amy-fuller-phd/). I’m deeply committed to walking alongside you as you work through pain, confusion, or relational distress. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or uncertain, know that you don’t have to navigate it alone. I’m here to help you discover healing, growth, and renewed hope. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) I see clients in person in the evenings on Saturdays at Fuller Life East and via secure tele-health and am available by appointment only. To schedule an appointment please contact me by email at [Bianca@FullerLifeFamilyTherapy.org](mailto:Harold@FullerLifeFamilyTherapy.org), by phone at [(713) 589-3706](tel:+17133203646) or thorough our [webform.](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) --- ### [THE PRESENT OF PRESENCE](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/presence/) **Published:** November 5, 2024 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** # **the present of presence** ***Be Present. Give Presence.*** [Make a Year-End Gift Today!](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=1&Amount=) ## Your support creates hope, healing, and access to mental health care for those who need it most. ## Help us reach our goal of $20,000 by December 31st. [Make a Year-End Gift Today!](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=1&Amount=) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/presence-video-cover-1-1024x566.jpeg) [](https://youtu.be/l8gOqHsSOzI?si=Cq90cMe9bEO_yEWV) ## We invite you to give the gift of presence in 2 ways: 1 Be Present This season, we invite you to slow down and truly be present. Through posts, blogs, videos, and resources, we’ll provide guidance on embracing moments of connection and mindfulness with loved ones. 2 Give Presence Help us fund the HEART (Helping Everyone Access Resources for Therapy) program, breaking down financial barriers so that life-changing therapy is accessible to all in our community. --- # **“The greatest gift you can give someone is your presence.”** – Thich Nhat Hanh **The Power of Presence: \*\*Sarah’s Story** Sarah had tried therapy multiple times in her life but still struggled with anxiety. When panic attacks began affecting her job as a teacher’s aide, she realized she needed professional help again. However, the cost of therapy worried her. Despite her passion for helping children learn, her modest salary barely covered rent and essentials, and without mental health benefits, the typical $150 session fee was entirely out of reach. **As a result of Fuller Life’s HEART *(******Helping Everyone Access Resources for Therapy)*** **Equity program**, Sarah discovered she could access quality therapy on a sliding scale that matched her budget and wouldn’t require time away from work. From her very first session with her Fuller Life therapist, Sarah noticed a difference in her therapist’s approach. Instead of focusing solely on fixing her anxiety, her therapist emphasized the importance of being present in her body. Together, they worked to create a space where Sarah could expand her ability to tolerate challenges without triggering panic in her nervous system. > She said, “*I have been in and out of different types of therapies since my teens, and this is the first therapist that I’ve actually felt LISTENED to me and that truly cares.”* She learned to recognize her own process around anxiety, found ways to self-soothe, and be present with herself and others when anxiety showed up. And this made a huge difference in the classroom setting. No longer held back by anxiety, she rediscovered her passion for teaching. The HEART program did not just make therapy affordable – it helped Sarah become the educator she always knew she could be. Your donation will support our HEART Equity Fund, which covers the difference between what our clients can pay and the cost to provide care. 88% of our clients report low to very low income and your support will help us ensure that every one has access to quality mental health counseling and family therapy. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/DALLE-2024-11-04-122255-A-warm-peaceful-scene-featuring-a-Black-woman-therapist-and-a-woman-client-in-a-cozy-softly-lit-room-The-room-has-a-purple-and-green-color-theme-wi.webp)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/DALLE-2024-11-04-122255-A-warm-peaceful-scene-featuring-a-Black-woman-therapist-and-a-woman-client-in-a-cozy-softly-lit-room-The-room-has-a-purple-and-green-color-theme-wi.webp) [Make Your Year End Gift Today](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=1&Amount=) \*\*For the sake of confidentiality, Sarah’s story is a composite of several real life Fuller LIfe clients. ## **2024 Impact in Action** - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![Neighbors in Action](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) - ![](data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%201000%20667'%3E%3C/svg%3E) Thanks to supporters like you, in 2024, Fuller Life has: - Provided reduced-fee therapy to over 400 children, individuals, couples and families in our 4 houston locations this year. - Graduated 6 therapists from our intensive training program in 2024. - Expanded our HEART Equity Program to ensure no one is turned away due to financial need. [See Our Outcomes](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/) [Make Your Year End Gift Today](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=1&Amount=) ## The Power of Presence: Quotes from Fuller Life Clients - > “I felt so understood, compassion felt like a precious gift. So grateful.” - > “I truly enjoy my therapist. She listens to me and makes me feel comfortable to speak what’s on my mind.” - > “I really love and appreciate how she explains what we are saying in a way for my partner and me to understand each other and our situation.” - > “Her empathy and compassion allowed me to be vulnerable and talk about things I was afraid to bring up. She helped us both see how our assumptions had led to misunderstandings.” - > “Our therapy sessions have helped not only save my family but my marriage. My husband and I are communicating better and able to work through our issues without fighting.” - > “I loved the ‘tone’ of the session. I’ve tried therapy before but always felt a disconnect. This feels right, and I’m excited for my journey.” - > “It was a really great session and I feel much more confident in myself as well as my future!” - > “I enjoy how personable and ‘real’ the therapist is. I feel comfortable to be myself and trust the expertise of our therapist.” - > The session today was hard but necessary. It helps me accept the reality of our issues. [See Our Clinical Outcomes](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/) ###### **A Vision for the Future** ## We’re excited to share our new strategic plan with the goal of doubling our impact by 2027: ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Strategic-plan-photos-nov-2023-6.png) #### Doubling the number of clients we serve, expanding client reach to marginalized and underserved populations ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/FL-Graduation-2024_3722-1-scaled.jpg) #### Doubling the number of therapists we train, fostering a diverse, culturally responsive workforce equipped to meet the growing mental health needs of our community. ## We envision underserved communities saturated with affordable professional mental health care and highly trained family therapists, ensuring that mental health care is no longer a privilege but a resource available to all. ## Your Gift Can Change Lives ## $50 client fee for one therapy session ## $100 the actual cost to provide a therapy session ## $300 client fee for six therapy sessions. ## $500 supports 10 sessions—the average a client needs to make meaningful progress. ## $1,000 offers two individuals or families access to life-changing support or fees for 20 sessions. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Button-2024-Make-your-Year-End-Gift-Now.png)](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=1&Amount=) # **Join Us in Creating a Compassionate Community** ## Your donation is more than a gift; it’s a lifeline for someone facing mental health challenges. By contributing to our HEART Equity Program, you help ensure that financial barriers **never** stand in the way of transformative care. ## *Be a part of the solution to Houston’s mental health crisis.* Donate by December 31st and help us bring compassionate presence to those who need it most. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Button-2024-Make-your-Year-End-Gift-Now.png)](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=1&Amount=) *Fuller Life Institute is a 501c(3) not-for-profit organization in Houston, Texas (45-4267651). Providing affordable compassionate therapy to the Greater Houston area and faith-based intensive training for therapists and since 2012.* [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/candid-seal-platinum-2024-150x150.png)](https://www.guidestar.org/profile/45-4267651) Ways to Donate ## There are many ways to donate to our year-end campaign. Our preference is on our donation page. [Make a year end donation today](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=1&Amount=)[Become a Fuller Life GEM](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=4&Amount=) ![Zelle](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Screenshot-2024-12-22-at-21957 AM-150x150.png) ### Zelle Avoid bank and credit card fees by donating through Zelle. Use the email **Margarita@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org.** Be sure to tell us who you are and your address so we can send you a thank you note and gift! [![paypal ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Screenshot-2024-12-22-at-22736 AM.png)](https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=4UDA6U6CTNKLC) ### Paypal Giving Donate through Paypal Giving. ![](https://www.paypal.com/en_US/i/scr/pixel.gif) ![Venmo](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/IMG_2449.jpeg) ### Venmo We are “FullerLifeFamilyTherapy” on Venmo. --- ### [Thank you for your donation!](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/thank-you-paypal/) **Published:** December 20, 2024 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** ## We got it! Thank you for your donation and supporting our mission to make therapy accessible in Houston and train top-notch therapists. Thank you so much! ## We’re so glad to have your support! We could not provide the services we do without support from our community. Gifts like the one you just made are vital for reaching our mission. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/FL-mission-and-vision.png) --- ### [Our Clinical Outcomes](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/outcomes/) **Published:** March 25, 2024 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** # Our Clinical Outcomes **We use Feedback Informed Treatment to ensure the highest quality of care. Our clients routinely complete measures about their presenting concerns, therapeutic relationship, and mental or relational health.** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Individual-therapy-outcomes.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Individual-therapy-outcomes.png) ### Reduced Depression Reported symptoms of **depression** are reduced **by 17% at session 5 and 25% at session 10.** (-PHQ9: Patient Health Questionnaire) ### Reduced Anxiety *Reported symptoms of* ***anxiety*** *are reduced by **15% at session 5 and 31% at session 10.*** (·*GAD-7: General Anxiety Disorder-7*) ### Reduced Stress *Reporte*d *decrease of **9**% in perceived* ***stress*** *at session 5 and a decrease of **23%** at session 10.* ·*PSS-4: Perceived Stress Scale-4* ### Increased Resilency *Clients report a **4%** increase in* ***resilient coping skills*** *at session 5 and a **9%** increase at session 10.* ·*BRCS: Brief Resiliency Coping Scale* ### Improved Emotional Efficiency Improvement of **5% at session 5 and 8% at session 10** in **Emotional Efficiency**, the degree to which people can experience a full range of emotions while responding in a contextually adaptive, values-consistent manner. ·*EES2: Emotional Efficiency Scale* ### Reduced Substance Use Decline in the reported use of substances by ***25%*** at session 5 and **36%** at session 10 *(alcohol, tobacco, recreational drug and marijuana)* ·*NIDA: National Institute on Drug and Alcohol Quick Screening tool* ## Clinical outcomes of Couples Therapy The following graphs show areas of significant change reported by couples after 5 couples therapy sessions. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/3.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/3.png) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/4.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/4.png) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/5.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/5.png) Does therapy work? Before the first session, our clients identify 3 areas of focus for therapy and report on their progress at each session. Here’s what they report: 77% report presenting concern is better by session 5 90% report presenting concern is better by session 10 ![couples counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/canstockphoto102535987.jpg) # Clients we served in 2023 [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/2023-Demographic-graphs-gender.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/2023-Demographic-graphs-gender.png) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/2023-Demographic-graphs-education.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/2023-Demographic-graphs-education.png) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/2023-Demographic-graphs-2-age.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/2023-Demographic-graphs-2-age.png) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/2023-Demographic-graphs-client-ethnicity.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/2023-Demographic-graphs-client-ethnicity.png) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/2023-Demographic-graphs-5-team-and-board-ethnicity.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/2023-Demographic-graphs-5-team-and-board-ethnicity.png) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/2023-Demographic-graphs-source.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/2023-Demographic-graphs-source.png) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/2023-Demographic-graphs-8-therapy.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/2023-Demographic-graphs-8-therapy.png) ## The average number of sessions per client was 10.5 in 2023 [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/2023-Demographic-graphs-income.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/2023-Demographic-graphs-income.png) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/2023-Demographic-graphs-6-HUD-income.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/2023-Demographic-graphs-6-HUD-income.png) ## In 2003, we provided a total of 3006 sessions, 2934 of which were reduced fees, according to the household income and number of people in the home. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/2023-Demographic-graphs-2.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/2023-Demographic-graphs-2.png) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/2023-Demographic-graphs-4-religion.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/2023-Demographic-graphs-4-religion.png) ## Our 2023 Financial Outcomes [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Fincancial-Expeditures-2023.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Fincancial-Expeditures-2023.png) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/FL-Revenue-by-source-2023.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/FL-Revenue-by-source-2023.png) ## What our therapists and clients have to say about Fuller Life. - > Simply said, I would not have grown and developed as deeply and meaningfully as I have anywhere else. Fuller Life has created the opportunity for me to become a grounded, competent, and skilled therapist. ![Lindsay Perry](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LINDSAY-PERRY-HEADSHOT-1-e1631302384595-150x150.png) Lindsay Perry LPC Fuller Life Graduate - > *“You are truly helping me to get to the roots of problems. It has been very helpful and eye-opening.”* ![](https://patterns.startertemplatecloud.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Example-Portrait-Image-scaled-1-150x150.jpg) -30-year-old, married Caucasian Female with a history of severe trauma and neglect - > *“Best session yet. Really appreciated getting to a deeper emotional level.”* ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/qtq80-GNt3Ni-150x150.jpeg) -34-year-old Hispanic gay male presenting for couples therapy fuller life gems ## Donations that Shine [Become a GEM today](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=4&Amount=) --- ### [Partner with us](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/partner/) **Published:** September 5, 2021 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** ## Help us make family therapy accessible # Partner with us Join our mission of making therapy and mental health services more accessible to Houstonians. Our Therapy Assistance Partnership is a perfect way to provide therapy services to your staff, volunteers, clients or congregants. [Therapy Partnership](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tapp/) [![partner](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/partner-canstockphoto10269960-1024x1024.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/partner-canstockphoto10269960.jpg) [![Give Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/give-canstockphoto21819954-edited-1024x1024.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/give-canstockphoto21819954-edited.jpg) # Support Donate to support our HEART (Helping Everyone Access Resources for Therapy) Equity Fund. Our sliding scale and HEART fund allows us to offer a significantly lower rate when clients struggle to pay our low sliding scale fee. Donate today to help us ensure no one is turned away due to financial reasons. . Donate $25, $50 or any amount one time or monthly. Fuller Life Institute is a 501c3 non profit organization since 2012. [Donate](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=1&Amount=) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/gem-canstockphoto3932748-1024x877.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/gem-canstockphoto3932748.jpg) ##### WE WANT YOU TO ## Be a Fuller Life GEM Join our generous community of Fuller Life GEMS! Our GEM’s Give Every Month and are the backbone of our ability to provide therapy services to all people regardless of their ability to pay. [DONATE MONTHLY](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=4&Amount=) ## Partner with Us There are many ways to partner with us and help us live out our mission of training top notch therapists while making mental health care both accessible and affordable. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/qtq80-4h2jzs-edited-300x300.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/qtq80-4h2jzs.jpeg) ### Make a donation to support our HEART Equity fund (Helping Everyone Access Resources for Therapy). [Donate](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=1&Amount=) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Amy-speak-ACU1623713_10152578020517738_675169463_n-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Amy-speak-ACU1623713_10152578020517738_675169463_n.jpg) ### Invite us to speak at your next event or educational experience. [Learn more](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-speakers/) [![Group therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/canstockphoto76988920-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/canstockphoto76988920.jpg) ### Partner with us to offer group therapy for your organization, church or community. [Group Therapy Interest](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) --- ### [Spanish Speaking Therapist Announcement](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/announcement/) **Published:** September 24, 2024 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** # Join Our Team as a Bilingual Therapist *Join Our Mission to Provide Healing for Houston’s Underserved Communities* [Training Interest Form](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=108) [Learn more](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/) now accepting applications ## *Opportunity for Spanish Speaking Therapist* - Become part of a dynamic and **diverse team** at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, where we provide culturally responsive care to individuals, couples, and families. - As a bilingual therapist, you’ll make a meaningful impact by offering therapy to **[underserved Spanish-speaking communities](http://www.neighborsinaction.com),** receive 4 times the required amount of supervision, and be supported in your professional growth. - Enjoy **flexible scheduling**, hands-on experience, and the chance to collaborate with a team dedicated to bringing hope and healing to Houston. [Training Interest Form](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=108)[Learn More](https://j41ac9.p3cdn1.secureserver.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Fuller-Life-Role-Desriptions-for-Student-and-Resident-Therapists.pdf) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/400dpiLogo-1024x273.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/400dpiLogo-e1540083794853.png)## Who we are At Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, we are committed to providing professional, high-quality mental health services to individuals, couples, and families affordable rates. We do this through our intensive post-graduate training program for therapists where we train equip and empower developing therpists so they can feel confident in their ability to facilitate change in their clients lives. We create a spiritually nurturing, yet challenging experience as part of our intensive training. [Our Core Values](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/values/) ### **Diverse, Inclusive Care** We are proud to serve a diverse population, offering therapy that is accessible to all, particularly underserved communities. Our team reflects the diversity of Houston and brings deep compassion to our work. ### **Partnerships that matter** In partnership with Neighbors in Action, we deliver culturally responsive mental health services to underserved communities in Houston, fostering deep healing for those who may otherwise lack access to therapy. ### **Affordable Care** We provide accessible, affordable therapy services for all, recognizing that financial barriers should never prevent access to mental health care. Through our sliding scale fees, we help clients of diverse backgrounds find healing. ### **Grow in community** We are committed to the growth of our therapists. At Fuller Life, you’ll have the chance to collaborate with experienced clinicians. Fuller Life fosters a warm, supportive environment where both clients and therapists thrive. the role ## *Make an Impact as a Bilingual Therapist (Spanish-English)* At **Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute**, we are dedicated to providing accessible, relational therapy to a diverse population. We are seeking a **Bilingual Therapist (Spanish-English)** to join our team and offer crucial mental health services to Houston’s underserved Spanish-speaking communities in partnership with **Neighbors in Action.** This is an internship/hybrid role with opportunities for both in-person and telehealth sessions. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/shutterstock_2475777405.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/shutterstock_2475777405.jpg) [![Jacob 40x40](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Screenshot-2024-09-06-at-105256 PM-1024x556.png) ### *What You Will Do*? **Key Responsibilities** 1\. Provide therapy **sessions in Spanish** and English. 2\. Support clients through partnerships like **Neighbors in Action.** 3\. Manage therapy records and **client progress** in compliance with HIPAA. 4\. **Collaborate** with a team of experienced supervisors and therapists. Learn More](http://neighborsinaction.com) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/team-2016-didactics.jpg) ### *Why Work With Us?* **What We Offer** 1\. Intensive **supervision** from licensed professionals. 2\. **Flexible scheduling** and collaborative team environment. 3\. Exposure to a diverse and **underserved client base.** 4\. Opportunities for ongoing **professional development**. Learn More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/qtq80-T8Wgd8.jpeg) ### *Who We Are Looking For*? **Qualifications** 1\. **Fluent in Spanish and English.** 2\. Currently **enrolled** in a Marriage and Family Therapy or Counseling Master’s program, or licensed as an **LMFT/LPC Associate.** 3\. Passion for serving underserved **Spanish-speaking** communities. 4\. Strong ethical standards and commitment to **professional growth.** Learn More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/) ## Fuller Life East [7927 Flaxman Street](https://www.google.com/maps/place/7927+Flaxman+St,+Houston,+TX+77029/@29.7592411,-95.2907985,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m10!1m2!2m1!1s7927+Flaxman+Street!3m6!1s0x8640bc6c70d79f4b:0x3bcd8eaf0fe3356!8m2!3d29.7592365!4d-95.2859329!15sChM3OTI3IEZsYXhtYW4gU3RyZWV0kgERY29tcG91bmRfYnVpbGRpbmfgAQA!16s%2Fg%2F11bw4l95fw?entry=ttu) In partnership with [Neighbors in Action](http://www.neighborsinaction.com) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Fuller-LIfe-East-at-Neighbors-in-Action-e1692817015660.png) - ![Widalis Roque, Spanish speaking therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy in Houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Fuller-LIfe-East-at-NIA-therapy-roompng-768x1024.jpeg) - ![Neighbors in Action](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Neigbors-in-Action.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Felisha-FL-Round-Headshot.png) Therapy is offered on the second floor of the Neighbors in Action home. Take the stairs to the left and have a seat in the waiting area. ## *Ready to Make a Difference? Apply Now!* To apply, interested candidates should first fill out our **Training Interest Form**. After submitting the form, they will receive an email with a link to our online application. Applicants will be required to upload their **resume**, **transcript**, and **cover letter** as part of the application process. [Training Interest Form](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=108)[Learn More](https://j41ac9.p3cdn1.secureserver.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Fuller-Life-Role-Desriptions-for-Student-and-Resident-Therapists.pdf) --- ### [Benefits of Self-Compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-compassion/) **Published:** March 23, 2013 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** Compassionate self-talk has been shown to calm the threat-detection system and allow us to be more understanding with others. [Kristin Neff](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-compassion/) is an expert in self-compassion. Her research found that “people who can first give themselves emotional support and validation will be in a better position to be giving, accepting and generous to their partners.” She also found that “people who nurture self-compassion have better overall psychological and emotional health, experience less anxiety and depression, are more motivated to achieve their goals.” ([Randall, 2013](http://www.utexas.edu/know/2013/02/08/happy-valentines-day-to-me/)) ![tribeza](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/tribeza.jpg) When we talk to ourselves with criticism and self-judgment, we fuel anger and anxiety. However, when we respond to ourselves with kindness and compassion, we calm our body and create space to respond courageously with our best selves. Paul Gilbert, in his video series on self-compassion, uses the illustration of talking to our best friend. If a friend found himself or herself going through these challenges, how would we comfort and console? Likewise, be a friend to yourself. ([Paul Gilbert, 2011](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-compassion/)) Know that the body is capable of calming itself down, and that the brain is lighting up to meet each unique challenge that arises. ### **Videos on Self-Compassion** [Dr. Kristin Neff ](http://self-compassion.org) is one of the world’s leading experts on self-compassion and an Associate Professor at the University of Texas at Austin. She is author of *Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind* (William Morrow, 2011). ### Curious how compassionate you are to yourself? Use this simple questionnaire to find out. - [Self Test on Self-Compassion](http://www.self-compassion.org/test-your-self-compassion-level.html) - [Dr. Kristin Neff’s Website on Self-Compassion](http://www.self-compassion.org/) ### Course on Self-Compassion [Courage works](http://www.courageworks.com/shop/classes/self-compassion-with-kristin-neff-brene-brown?utm_source=selfcompassion.org&utm_medium=sitepromo&utm_campaign=neff-sc_launch-selfcompassion) online course with Kristen Neff and Brene Brown. A four-lesson online workshop, co-facilitated by Drs. Kristin Neff and Brené Brown, provides valuable, research-based tools that can help participants integrate self-compassion into our daily lives. ![Paul Gilbert](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/dr_180a4517e803d04cb2f069db09d7be43-150x150.jpg) ### **Video Interviews with Dr. Paul Gilbert about Self-Compassion** A practicing clinical psychologist for over thirty years, Paul Gilbert, PhD, is world renowned for his work on compassion and developed the techniques of compassion focused therapy. Each video is a twelve minute interview with Paul Gilbert about the practice and benefits of self-compassion. Talk Nicely to Yourself - [Video 2](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mq7grBNc550 "Paul Gilbert Talk Nicely to Yourself") - [Video 3](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLJ7hGdQdnU "Paul Gilbert Talk Nicely to Yourself") - [Video 4](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OzQ_SaLj-o "Paul Gilbert Talk Nicely to Yourself") - [Video 5](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPfHf0oFKRw "Paul Gilbert Talk Nicely to Yourself") ### Fuller Life Articles about Self-Compassion: --- ### [Allison Sims](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/allisonsims/) **Published:** January 20, 2022 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Allison-FL-Headshot.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Allison-FL-Headshot.png)\#image\_title ##### Graduate Therapist ## Allison Sims Welcome! Whether you’re seeking support for yourself, your relationship, or your family, I’m truly glad you’re here. My name is Allison, and my deepest passion lies in facilitating personal growth that fosters healing in all your relationships. Understanding that healthy relationships are vital for overall well-being, my goal is to help you create fulfilling and meaningful connections with your loved ones. I approach therapy with the belief that everyone is deeply interconnected, with our relationships and environments significantly shape us. In our sessions, we’ll delve into the complexities of your concerns, uncovering the dynamics that underlie your challenges. My aim is to empower you, and if applicable, your family, to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts, and build stronger bonds. --- In our meetings, expect a compassionate space where you’re encouraged to fully express your emotions, thoughts, and experiences. I recognize the vulnerability in seeking therapy and am committed to provide a non-judgmental environment conducive to healing. Having personally experienced the transformative power of therapy, I am keen to help others find relief from pain they thought was unhealable. If you’re grappling with feelings of hopelessness, grief, or relational distress, I’m here to offer support. I am a dedicated Graduate Student Therapist pursuing my Master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy at Kairos University, under the supervision of [Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LPC-S, LMFT-S](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/ "Dr. Amy Fuller, Clinical Director").” I am currently seeing individuals, couples, and families in person at Fuller LIfe North and virtually for telehealth. ### Contact Allison: To schedule an appointment please contact me by email at [Allison@FullerLifeFamilyTherapy.org](mailto:allison@FullerLifeFamilyTherapy.org), by phone at [(832) 225-4714](tel:+18326483576 "+18322254714") or thorough our [webform.](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91)[Donate Now](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=1&Amount=) --- ### [40X40 hope collective - Welcome](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/hopewelcome/) **Published:** September 13, 2024 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** # WELCOME to the 40X40 HOPE Collective! [](https://startertemplatecloud.com/e28/#) # Thank you for committing to pray every day for the future of Fuller LIfe! You are now part of the Fuller Life 40X40 HOPE Collective! We are so grateful you’ve chosen to join us on this 40-day journey of expectant prayer with open hearts! Starting October 1, you’ll be part of a special group of (we hope at least) 40 individuals, each committed to lifting Fuller Life’s strategic plan in prayer each day for 40 days. Collectively, we’ll seek God’s guidance with (H.O.P.E.) Hearts Open, Praying Expectantly. ## Here’s what’s next: - Daily Prayer Focus: Each morning, starting October 1, you’ll receive an email and text with a specific prayer focus, a verse to reflect on, a meditative reflection, and a song to go with the prayer. - **Prayer Reflections:** If you’ve chosen to contribute a prayer reflection, you’ll receive more details soon about how to submit your thoughts. - Community: Know that you are part of a community united in faith, lifting up Fuller Life’s mission and future. ## **HELP us get to 40! Invite your friends:** ## *Would you send an email/text to your family and friends to invite them to join our prayer collective?* *We’ve included a sample email and text you can send below!* ## **Send this email to your friends!!!** Subject: Join Me in 40 Days of Prayer for Fuller Life’s Future Hi \[Friend’s Name\], I’m involved with a wonderful organization called[ Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute](https://u17434882.ct.sendgrid.net/ls/click?upn=u001.AIguuMnlZx-2B2zy8uOScxV0B9VTrzfIFyhapQg8OiVMITLemOSyxDBSIeAmsZWYM-2B1xVM_Q0EgCg9VOXQ8aDUcvL27qbYP6o3vcKPhI7zKjU87GztNsHqgGDkIhWAdloZhi8JBMnTkgaoySxbzoRWGjDHlkrjw7Zr1aSHDszkxTUsMmwdrQCSDhNW7DKFiHlpXhiH52e0gKcZgKjUI-2B-2BfcueDYxe1mVcLc2xmIvDpuvwVcuwV-2B9u0rTAcq-2BGVZcgyearkYNynxGgWYQ8Fs76m5OOUseb-2FzjT2hbT7aKGhOzmUU6kA6ammtu4ihJ5UsXz8iRYzXrJALBk5vCnJot8i-2BESM4f2hZlM467GN9SstzAotq5gemSBROrBMD4L5rbb5CrainETI-2BIzPo4ukrK56No3bTgxJKZww-2FHqMXf0G9m-2Bvk04AyhjSjdaV9i4IUGrS-2B8LAlG5-2BWPoH8nz57z99baNNWiXpIocm7q9zBkUecsKWrgmzYjulLOJ767HArEW3bl9UJCz19L4qOS68jDSyBkTL5XQ-3D-3D). The mission is close to my heart—providing affordable mental health care and family therapy to those who need it most and training top-notch therapists. Recently, Fuller Life has developed an ambitious strategic plan to expand its services and impact even more lives. To support this effort, I’ve joined the 40×40 HOPE Collective, a group of 40 people who are committed to praying for 40 days, from October 1 to November 9. Each day, we’ll focus on a specific prayer request related to the strategic plan and reflect on a Bible verse, asking God to guide and bless Fuller Life’s mission. I would love for you to join me in this prayer journey. Your prayers could make a real difference in the lives of so many families and individuals who rely on Fuller Life for support. If this sounds like something you’d like to be a part of, you can sign up here: Thank you so much for considering this. It would mean a lot to have you praying alongside me during these 40 days. Warmly, \[Your Name\] ## **OR send this text message to invite your friends!** Hi \[Name\], I support Fuller Life Family Therapy, committed to making mental health care accessible to all. I’ve just signed up to join the Fuller Life 40×40 HOPE collective, 40 people praying for 40 days from Oct 1 to Nov 9, seeking God’s guidance for Fuller Life’s new strategic plan. Would you join me and pray for Fuller Life’s future? [![](https://web6.neworg.com/MC2_FullerLife/userfiles/40x40%20banners7.png)](https://u17434882.ct.sendgrid.net/ls/click?upn=u001.AIguuMnlZx-2B2zy8uOScxV0B9VTrzfIFyhapQg8OiVML7gyBIjN4bmaT00sGH-2Fp0YOga-2BrWSAxK5027qMyvtwsg-3D-3DTtVP_Q0EgCg9VOXQ8aDUcvL27qbYP6o3vcKPhI7zKjU87GztNsHqgGDkIhWAdloZhi8JBMnTkgaoySxbzoRWGjDHlkrjw7Zr1aSHDszkxTUsMmwdrQCSDhNW7DKFiHlpXhiH52e0gKcZgKjUI-2B-2BfcueDYxe1mVcLc2xmIvDpuvwVcuwV-2B9u0rTAcq-2BGVZcgyearkYNynxGgWYQ8Fs76m5OOUseb-2FzjT2hbT7aKGhOzmUU6kA6ammtu4ihJ5UsXz8iRYzXrJALBk5vCnJot8i-2BESM4f2hZlM467GN9SstzAotq5geMaAyH0yGAi8-2BvsU-2FtuxaGvpa70-2BkRifP3p7YM8WHsuKkxl8vLnTzCn6W4oJ4B813-2BlfTuu1-2FHrYS9GvA8hReRt-2FWioPUxjmc8r7gfyrDW7cVI6PwJJH2olRXv8FmEhRTiwymrQNePHKn-2BiWYeHl0KlH6p3dHMY6hrQBu-2FMdsvDA-3D-3D) [![sign up](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/2.png)](https://qrco.de/bfJUgO) [![strategic plan team](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Strategic-plan-photos-nov-2023-6-1024x560.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Strategic-plan-photos-nov-2023-6.png) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Strategic-plan-photos-nov-2023-4-1024x768.png) how it began… ## A NEw Vision **Jacob’s story shows the power of affordable mental health care, but we know there are so many more like him who need help.** In November 2023, 10 dedicated individuals gathered with a clear vision emerging: **communities saturated with affordable mental health care and highly trained family therapists.** Together, over the past 10 months, we’ve crafted a bold new strategic plan to expand our reach and double our impact. Our plan includes bold key results and a detailed scorecard to keep us on track. Months later… ## A New Plan When we shared this vision with the rest of our team, one of our therapists, moved by both the potential and the scale of what we’re aiming for, suggested something that really struck a chord with all of us**.** **Her suggestion was powerful: 40 Days of Prayer.** So, starting **October 1 through November 9, 2024**, we will follow this call to action, committing this plan to prayer and asking for guidance every step of the way. **This is where you come in!** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Valuations-aug-2024-1-1-1024x709.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Valuations-aug-2024-1-1.png) [![sign up](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/2.png)](https://qrco.de/bfJUgO) ## Our Stategic Initiatives 2024-2027 ## **Our strategic plan focuses on expanding access to mental health services and family therapy, doubling our therapy services and the size of our training program by 2027. Specifically, we will strategically extend care into underserved populations, empower our therapists and board, build financial sustainability and develop community partnerships, ensuring we can continue providing affordable professional care to all people.** ## Expanding Access to Mental Health Services to underserved populations - Double availability of reduced fee therapy in Houston - Grow HEART Equity Program to provide therapy for below poverty families. - Partner with local churches and organizations to reach underserved. - Extend outreach to underserved and vulnerable communities . - Boost online visibility and resources - Strenghten community presence through speaking and networking ## Empowering Our Team of Therapists and Board - Engage and double our Board size to align with strategic goals. - Enhance team well-being, communication and efficacy - Implement new mentorship program with graduates - Finesse board recruitment and assessment process - Effectively track team metrics to increase efficacy; didactic units; - Recruit diverse therapists - Double size of training program by 2026 while maintaining quality of training ## Ensuring Financial Sustainability and Growing Partnerships - Submit 24 grants a year - Hire Executive Director - Effective, impactful Gala in 2025; wellness dinners and year end campaigns - Nurture and cultivate new GEMS (Give Every Month) Community - Establish and support new (TAPP) partnerships with nonprofits, churches and schools for individual and group therapy ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/DALLE-2024-09-08-024020-A-modern-and-vibrant-banner-featuring-a-natural-collage-of-smiling-faces-inspired-by-the-40x40-Hope-Collective-banner-Use-purple-and-green-brand-col.webp)OUR MISSION **We train, equip, and empower developing therapists who provide professional therapy to families and individuals at affordable rates.** ## At Fuller Life, we are committed to making therapy accessible to all people, so we ensure our professional services are: #### ACCESSIBLE We have two locations in Houston, Texas and can meet virtually via Telehealth within the state of Texas. [OUR LOCATIONS](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/) #### AFFORDABLE Our therapy fees are set uniquely for each person or family based on a sliding scale and the household income. [OUR FEES](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/forms-affordable-fees__trashed/affordable-counseling/) #### APPROPRIATE We offer different types and forms of therapy services depending on the need. We discuss this in our initial call. OUR SERVICES #### AVAILABLE We offer flexible hours, including nights and weekends. Same day appointments are also available, [CONTACT US](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) --- [DONATE NOW](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/YEAREND/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/gem-canstockphoto3932748-1024x877.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/gem-canstockphoto3932748.jpg) ##### WE WANT YOU TO ## Be a Fuller Life GEM Join our generous community of Fuller Life GEMS! Our GEM’s Give Every Month and are the backbone of our ability to provide therapy services to all people regardless of their ability to pay. DONATE MONTHLY --- ### [Emotion Regulation](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/emotion-regulation/) **Published:** April 17, 2024 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** What you need to know about# Emotional Regulation ## When you need compassionate therapy to get better at feeling [Request a therapy appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) Tools for Full Living # Are your emotions stealing your life? Life is full of ups and downs, and sometimes our emotions can feel like they’re in the driver’s seat. If you find yourself struggling to navigate your feelings or feeling overwhelmed by your emotional responses, you’re not alone. Therapy offers a supportive environment to explore your emotions, gain insights, and learn practical techniques to manage them effectively. ## Why Choose Therapy for Emotional Management? Therapy provides a unique opportunity to delve into the roots of your emotional experiences, understand your triggers, and develop personalized strategies to regulate your emotions. Our experienced therapists are here to guide you through this process, offering support, encouragement, and expertise every step of the way. ## What to expect from Therapy focused on Emotion Regulation In therapy, you’ll work collaboratively with your therapist to identify patterns in your emotional responses and explore the underlying factors contributing to them. Through evidence-based techniques such as mindful awareness, expanding your window of presence, and practicing self-compassion, you’ll develop practical skills to manage your emotions more effectively in everyday life. ## “Feelings are not for feelings’ sake. They are gifts that we can use to understand our hearts.” ###### Chip Dodd, *The Voice of the Heart* Change your life## Benefits of Therapy for Emotional Management - Gain insights into your emotional experiences - Learn effective coping skills to regulate your emotions - Develop greater self-awareness and emotional intelligence - Improve your relationships and communication - Experience a greater sense of overall well-being and emotional balance [Request an Appointment ](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=118) ![Person in Black Leather Shoes Sitting on Brown Wooden Chair](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/person-in-black-leather-shoes-sitting-on-brown-wooden-chair-4098362-scaled.jpg) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/pexels-matheus-ferrero-1963075.jpg) ![Person Holding Brown Framed Eyeglasses](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/person-holding-brown-framed-eyeglasses-4098340-scaled.jpg) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/qtq80-7IYd15.jpeg) Find respect for yourself again through couples therapy ## Start Your Journey Today to better feeling Don’t let your emotions control you. Take the first step towards greater emotional management and well-being by scheduling a therapy session today. Our compassionate therapists are here to support you on your journey to a more balanced and fulfilling life. [Request an Appoinment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## Are you ready? ## Tips for Emotional Regulation Right Now Ready to take control of your emotions and live with greater balance? Contact us today to schedule your first therapy session. We look forward to helping you on your path to effective emotional management. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/canstockphoto24429978-scaled-1024x683.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-time-crisis/) ## [Self-Care in the Time of Crisis](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-time-crisis/) June 22, 2020 By [Manet Castaneda](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Holiday-Blues-image.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/beating-the-holiday-blues/) ## [Fa-la-la-la-blah! Beating the Holiday Blues](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/beating-the-holiday-blues/) December 17, 2019 By [1-Stephanie Jordan](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/stephaniejordan/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/canstockphoto14339328-1-scaled-1024x683.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout-2/) ## [A Growth Mindset Can Prevent Burn Out!](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout-2/) September 5, 2019 By [Angela Blocker](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) [![me before you](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/life-saver-canstockphoto5512456-1-e1544038553974.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/me-before-you-relationship/) ## [Me Before You: What kind of relationship do you have?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/me-before-you-relationship/) December 9, 2018 By [1-Lindsay Perry](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/lindsayperry/) - Riya vettickal, LPC ## Meet Riya Riya is a Licensed Professional Counselor with Fuller Life specialising in helping clients achieve greater emotional management so they can live full lives. Call [Riya ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/riya)today to schedule an appointment at [(832) 463-2502](tel:+8324632502), [REQUEST APPOINTMENT WITH RIYA](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=118) ### “Feelings are not impulses that need to be controlled; they are tools that we need to learn how to use well so that we do not behave impulsively and act out without the ability to take responsibility. They are tools that allow us to live truthfully and move responsibly..” ###### Chip Dodd, *The Voice of the Heart* [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## Read our articles about Healthy Emotions - [![Mindfulness Rain](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Picture1-1024x827.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindfully-weathering-the-storm-with-r-a-i-n/) ## [Mindfully Weathering the Storm with R.A.I.N. ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindfully-weathering-the-storm-with-r-a-i-n/) [Read More Mindfully Weathering the Storm with R.A.I.N. ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindfully-weathering-the-storm-with-r-a-i-n/) - [![Person in silence and quiet](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/canstockphoto34915727-e1525359229426.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-science-of-quiet/) ## [The Science of Quiet](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-science-of-quiet/) [Read More The Science of Quiet](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-science-of-quiet/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/canstockphoto2179481.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/good-anger-a-fire-contained/) ## [Good Anger: A Fire Contained](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/good-anger-a-fire-contained/) [Read More Good Anger: A Fire Contained](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/good-anger-a-fire-contained/) - [![brain uses Anger to hide pain](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Screen-Shot-2018-01-11-at-2.43.16-PM-1024x553.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-the-brain-uses-anger-to-hide-pain/) ## [Covered in Red: How the Brain Uses Anger to Hide Pain](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-the-brain-uses-anger-to-hide-pain/) [Read More Covered in Red: How the Brain Uses Anger to Hide Pain](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-the-brain-uses-anger-to-hide-pain/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/angry-woman-e1490807566697.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/womens-anger/) ## [Hell Hath No Fury… Understanding Women’s Anger](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/womens-anger/) [Read More Hell Hath No Fury… Understanding Women’s Anger](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/womens-anger/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/canstockphoto13026221.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/major-depression/) ## [5 Questions People Who Might Have Major Depression Ask Themselves](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/major-depression/) [Read More 5 Questions People Who Might Have Major Depression Ask Themselves](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/major-depression/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Man-with-arms-open-wide.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-feel-your-way-to-a-healthier-body/) ## [How to Feel Your Way to A Healthier Body](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-feel-your-way-to-a-healthier-body/) [Read More How to Feel Your Way to A Healthier Body](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-feel-your-way-to-a-healthier-body/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/canstockphoto14317160-1-e1445997823555.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/managing-disappointment/) ## [Managing Disappointment](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/managing-disappointment/) [Read More Managing Disappointment](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/managing-disappointment/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/canstockphoto21512794-e1439484624161.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/anger/) ## [Can Anger Be Your Ally?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/anger/) [Read More Can Anger Be Your Ally?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/anger/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/canstockphoto25227820-e1435766626682.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/panic/) ## [Fear and Panic: How to Take Back Control](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/panic/) [Read More Fear and Panic: How to Take Back Control](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/panic/) - [![mindful self care](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/canstockphoto102686218-1024x683.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/10-simple-ways-to-practice-mindful-self-care/) ## [10 Simple Ways to Practice Mindful Self-Care](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/10-simple-ways-to-practice-mindful-self-care/) [Read More 10 Simple Ways to Practice Mindful Self-Care](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/10-simple-ways-to-practice-mindful-self-care/) --- ### [Train with Us](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/) **Published:** August 22, 2016 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** # Training top-notch therapists since 2012 #### **Grow into a confidence effective therapist who truly makes a difference** THE FULLER LIFE TEAM 2016 [TRAINING INTEREST FORM](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=108) ## Intensive Training At Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, we know you want to be a therapist who truly makes a difference. The only thing standing in your way to becoming licensed after graduate school is 3000 hours of experience and weekly supervision. [Training Interest Form](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=108) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Fuller-life-team-color-2021-1024x538.png) Fuller Life Team 2022 ## The traditional model isn’t always enough to equip new therapists to become a confident, effective clinicians. ## Even after completing the basic requirements, many therapists feel anxious or confused about what to do next, wondering if they are truly ready to practice on their own. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/MG_6873-1024x683.jpg) Fuller Life Team 2014 ## Effective Training We believe therapists should be confident that they ***will*** be able to provide effective therapy. That’s why at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, we’ve been changing the way therapists are trained **since 2012**. [Learn about our training program here](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Fuller-Life-Role-Desriptions-for-Student-and-Resident-Therapists.pdf) [#### GRADUATE EDUCATION AND](#) [#### CLINICAL PRACTICE .](#) ## We graduate top-notch therapists by providing: #### EXPERIENCE Gain the required clinical hours needed for licensure as an LPC or LMFT in Texas. #### SUPERVISION Our therapists receive 4 times the required amount of supervision required for licensure. #### TRAINING Our intensive training program has focus on the person of the therapist. [Role Description](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Fuller-Life-Role-Desriptions-for-Student-and-Resident-Therapists.pdf) #### SUPPORT Train in a supportive yet challenging environment with like-minded colleagues. --- [TRAINING INTEREST FORM](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=108) ## OUR MISSION We train, equip, and empower developing therapists who provide professional therapy to families and individuals at affordable rates. # Here’s how you can join: 1 ## Contact Let us know you’re interested by [filling out the form below](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=108). We will let you know by email when we are accepting new applicants. 2 ## Apply Inquire if we have openings in our program and Complete the formal application process. 3 ## Train If selected, receive [intensive supervision and training ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Fuller-Life-Role-Desriptions-for-Student-and-Resident-Therapists.pdf)while gaining the clinical experience needed for licensure with our supportive team. [4 ## Serve After completing our training program, & getting your LMFT/LPC, you’ll be prepared for effectively serving your clients with confidence!](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=108) ## [Role description for Resident and Student Therapists](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Fuller-Life-Role-Desriptions-for-Student-and-Resident-Therapists.pdf) For questions please email or call 855-245-5433. Fill out our interest form today, and we’ll let you know when we have an opening. Once notified you can complete the [f](https://j41ac9.p3cdn1.secureserver.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Fuller-LIfe-Resident-Therapist-Application.pdf)[ull application.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Fuller-Life-Role-Desriptions-for-Student-and-Resident-Therapists.pdf) Completing your training at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute offers a transformative journey in a challenging, yet supportive environment. You don’t need to start your clinical career in isolation. Be confident as a newly licensed therapist so that you can make a true difference in your clients’ lives. [TRAINING INTEREST FORM](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=108) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/fl-team-2-scaled-e1631253615985.jpg) Fuller Life Team 2020 Add an overline text ## Fuller Life is more than another therapy agency, ## We’ve been changing how therapists are trained since 2012 [Learn about our training model](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Fuller-Life-Role-Desriptions-for-Student-and-Resident-Therapists.pdf) --- ### [Our Core Values](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/values/) **Published:** December 8, 2015 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** # *“We train, equip and empower developing therapists who provide professional therapy to families and individuals at affordable rates.”* # Compassion We approach our [individual therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/), [couples counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/) and [family therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) with compassion, kindness, and respect. We are non-judgmental, accepting, and compassionate in our words, actions, and thoughts. While holding a respectful stance, we reflect back to the client what we observe. The coupling of honesty with respect assists the client to grow in deeper relationships with themselves and their loved ones. [![Counsel](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/qtq80-0uZQnr-150x150.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/qtq80-0uZQnr.jpeg) ***Our vision is to grow organically as a richly layered and vital community of skilled therapists.*** # Collaboration We value a team approach in therapy, as well as in our relationships with each other. Fuller Life was created to offer a team approach in helping clients heal and helping each other grow in our therapy skills at the same time. We have weekly staff meetings where we learn from each other and explore new and creative collaborative possibilities. We all have different gifts and varying levels of experience, and we all continue to grow as we share and learn. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Fuller-Life-Team-2.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Fuller-Life-Team-2.jpg) [![Group therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/canstockphoto76988920-1024x683.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/canstockphoto76988920.jpg) # Cooperation We approach clients with a “collaborative approach” in our [individual therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/), [couple’s counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/) and [family counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/). Pairing the clients desire to resolve and address the presenting concern with our therapists unique skill set means generating new ideas and solutions. We work together as professionals to find new hope and possibilities for living a life more full of love, relationship, and joy no matter the circumstance. Our commitment to cooperative collaboration, alongside our reliance on spiritual enlightenment, is key to everything we do. [![diversity](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/canstockphoto6837578-683x1024.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/canstockphoto6837578-scaled.jpg) # Cultural Diversity Our therapists are culturally sensitive, ethical, and systemically oriented. We meet diverse clients—individuals, couples, teens, kids, and families—without judgment, considering complex societal dynamics like gender, race, ethnicity, class, sexual orientation, gender identity, and ability. Incorporating social and relational contexts into therapy deepens our ability to provide compassionate and effective care to a wide range of people. **We are anti-racist and opposed to discrimination in all its forms.** We believe in the inherent worth of every individual and create a welcoming, affirming space for all identities. Our practice is inclusive and sex-positive, viewing sexuality as an essential part of each person and respecting each client’s unique history and complexity. We walk alongside our clients as they discern the best path forward, offering a non-judgmental and non-discriminatory space. We foster diversity, equality, and respect, helping individuals navigate their paths to empowerment, authenticity, and fulfillment. We are committed to continually examining and exploring how our personal biases, privileges, and experiences may impact our clients. In group consultation, we regularly engage in conversations that challenge us to adopt more ethical approaches, ensuring the highest integrity in clinical treatment. # Change The relationship between therapist and client is a catalyst for transformation. We trust that our clients have within them what they need to affect great change in their lives, and the world, and that therapy is a process of uncovering and actualizing this potential. We believe all people are capable of creating change in their current situation with the right support. Growth is always possible. We know we have grown when we react differently to the same old situation. We can help you change, whether that means embracing a new perspective, developing a new habit, incorporating a new way of communicating, or healing from a very traumatic experience. In order to achieve change, we must address difficult issues to find new hope for the journey. We will walk the dark road with you. [![change](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/change-canstockphoto24086527-1004x1024.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/change-canstockphoto24086527.jpg) [![confidential](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/confidentilalcanstockphoto3798253-150x150.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/confidentilalcanstockphoto3798253.jpg) # Confidentiality We take the confidentiality of our patients seriously. Whatever is said in this sacred space stays in this sacred space. While we discuss cases with the other therapy professionals associated with the group, we do so only for the purpose of providing the best care possible in order to enhance professional development. The limits to confidentiality apply when there are valid concerns about harm to the client, others, or children. # Creativity The witty, wise playwright George Bernard Shaw said, “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” We are creative beings. We write the story of our lives by the words, actions, and thoughts we create and the way we interpret experiences. Thinking outside the box using the imagination can be a turning point when we feel stuck. As therapists, we seek to be creative, imaginative, and sometimes even playful, to help our clients find solutions, new hope, and ultimately healing. [![art bulb](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/art-therapy-lightbulb-254x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/art-therapy-lightbulb.jpg) # Charity **The Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute is a not-for-profit charitable organization with pending 501(c)(3) status with the IRS. Contributions are tax-deductible. We are grateful to the various individuals, churches, and organizations that partner with us in our dream of serving the counseling needs ofindividuals, children, and families in the Houston area [regardless of their ability to pay](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/forms-affordable-fees/affordable-counseling/).** [Donate Now](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=1&Amount=) # **Communit**y Our clinical community is founded on the belief in the healing potential of the therapeutic relationship and the importance of providing a calm, sacred, and contained space for our clients. It is nurtured by our support of each other and our dedication to continued training, supervision, and peer interaction. Clinical focus is based on contemporary, relational, solution-oriented systemic models of psychotherapy. Therapists have a person-centered and holistic approach as we listen to and tend to the hearts, minds, bodies, and souls of our clients. In counseling we walk with clients through defense structures and into self-expression with the aim of relieving and healing suffering. Many of us no longer need the walls we built previously to protect ourselves, but would never risk taking them down alone. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/handscanstockphoto3370536-e1630966057999-1024x1016.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/handscanstockphoto3370536-e1630966057999.jpg) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Fuller-Life-Family-Therapy-Green-Room-Houston-Texas-copy-1024x682.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Fuller-Life-Family-Therapy-Green-Room-Houston-Texas-copy.jpg)Fuller Life Green Therapy Room[![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Fuller-Life-Family-Therapy-Purple-Room-Houston-Texas-copy-1024x682.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Fuller-Life-Family-Therapy-Purple-Room-Houston-Texas-copy.jpg)Fuller Life Purple Therapy Room [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Fuller-Life-Family-Therapy-Blue-Art-Play-Therapy-room-copy-1024x668.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Fuller-Life-Family-Therapy-Blue-Art-Play-Therapy-room-copy.jpg)Fuller Life Blue Therapy Room[![lobby](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Fuller-Life-Lobby-Houston-Texas-1024x682.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Fuller-Life-Lobby-Houston-Texas.jpg)Fuller LIfe Main Lobby # Comfort We have been intentional about creating a space we think is warm and welcoming for our [individual counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/), [marriage counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/) and [family counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/). A place of healing and comfort. The building is quiet, the rooms are inviting, and the music is relaxing. We also make efforts to be informal. We ask to be called by our first names instead of our formal professional titles. Sometimes we take off our shoes and put our feet on the couch during sessions. # Christian Based #### We believe spirituality is a great resource for many people and seek to stay aware of the healing process from a spiritual point of view. We always work from the client’s worldview instead of our own. We seek to approach all people with kindness and non-judgement welcoming the client’s spirituality as a resource when appropriate. #### The current staff at Fuller Life all embrace a Christian worldview and our resident therapists commit to an intense post-graduate fellowship integrating personal faith with the professional practice of therapy. As a part of our group training, we work together to harness both the grace and strength of our personal values and beliefs to sustain our purpose of inviting healing for others. We frequently incorporate theological concepts into our training and supervision times including a centering or devotional thought or prayer. #### If the client self-identifies as a Christian and would like to have this be an aspect of the counseling, our therapists will integrate Christian principles into the conversation. If you would like therapy to include spirituality, please indicate on the intake form. # Clinician Development Fuller Life Family Therapy seeks to fill a gap in the training of professional counselors and marriage and family therapists with a post-graduate fellowship for graduates of masters level marriage and family therapy and counseling programs. The foundational goals of our post-graduate fellowship include developing the following: excellent clinical skills, professional confidence, ethical practice, diversity and cultural competence, assessment skills, research opportunities, administrative management, and experience as teacher, consultant, writer, speaker and trainer. Additionally, each associate will develop several key areas of specialization during the fellowship of their choosing. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/IMG_0418-1024x768.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/IMG_0418-scaled.jpg)Fuller Life Team Annual Retreat 2017 [The training at Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/) has both a relational and systemic focus. As a marriage and family therapist, all training is relational, related to context, and culturally sensitive, whether contact hours are relational or individual, whether diagnostic procedure is traditional or relational, and whether a presenting problem is explicitly related to a marriage, a family, or to neither. The fellowship focuses on fostering a solid framework for the associate based upon a comprehensive and substantive understanding and foundation of human development, family dynamics, systemic thinking, interactional theories, traditional and contemporary marriage and family therapy theories, research, and the cultural context in which they are embedded. At Fuller Life, we live out our mission through our core values of [compassionate care](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/compassion-healing-relationships/), [collaborative teamwork](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/), [charity](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/forms-affordable-fees/affordable-counseling/), engaging the [clinical community,](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/) [cooperating](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-collaboration/) with client goals, [creative ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/art-therapy/)and [change-oriented](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4456-2/) interventions that are [culturally sensitive](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/asking-for-mental-help/) and respect [client confidentiality](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/forms-affordable-fees/counseling-forms/), all in a [comfortable](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/) environment that seeks high standards for [clinician development](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/) and honors our Christian values. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) --- ### [Somatic EMDR with Natural Processing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/somatic-emdr-natural-processing/) **Published:** July 2, 2023 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** ## Natural Processing A different kind of therapy to heal trauma using **Somatic EMDR** [Request an appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## A different kind of therapy Have you tried traditional talk therapy and want something different? Do you feel stuck in your life? Have you tried other ways to heal trauma, but still cope with PTSD symptoms? [Natural processing](https://naturalprocessing.org/about-np) is a unique way of healing the challenges of life. This approach relies on an understanding of our nervous system and can create lasting change and healing. Developed by Craig Penner, LMFT, natural processing integrates several approaches including EMDR, somatic experiencing, polyvagal theory, and Crucible therapy. ## What does Natural Processing look like? The therapist and client determine a focus for the session related to previously determined treatment goals. The focus could be a current concern, a past trauma, challenges of a relationship, or anything that is important to the client to address. The therapist asks the clients to identify sensations in the body that are present throughout the processing session. The therapist may ask what emotion goes with the focus or if the client has any judgments about themselves because of the focus. As the client pays attention to their experience, the therapist will gently tap on their knees. The therapist may also use EMDR tappers or headphones to create bilateral stimulation for the brain, which is how our brain naturally processes during sleep during REM sleep. If the sessions are virtual, clients have the option of tapping on themselves, watching a ball on the screen, or purchasing EMDR tappers. ## **[How Somatic EMDR Therapy Can Help You](https://www.groundedintruthcounseling.com/about)**. This form of therapy helps when talk doesn’t. Packed with the research based efficacy of EMDR, somatic oriented EMDR relies upon the nervous system to move through the healing process. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Wellness-Coachjpg.webp)](https://www.groundedintruthcounseling.com/about) ## How do I get started? If you are in Houston or virtual in Texas, fill out our request for an appointment and let us know you are interested in Somatic EMDR treatment. We have flexible hours and make sure everyone can afford therapy with our sliding scale. We also take insurance as well. ## Fuller Life Therapists trained in Natural Processing/Somatic EMDR [![Dormetra Henry, Masters Student Therapist](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Dormetra-Henry-Headshot-Fuller-LIfe-Family-Therapy-768x799.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dormetrahenry/) ## [Dormetra Henry LPC, Clinical Therapist](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dormetrahenry/) [![Am Fuller](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Amy-Fuller-Fuller-LIfe-Headshot-scaled-e1630913319630-768x774.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) ## [Dr. Amy Fuller, Clinical Director](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/) [![Riya](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Fuller-Life-2018-Riya-Roney-1-e1717972241889-768x768.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/riya/) ## [Riya Vettickal, Clinical Therapist](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/riya/) [![Shayla Johnson](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/SHayla-Headshot-1-768x770.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) ## [Shayla Johnson, Resident Therapist](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) --- [Request an appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=118) Ready to get started? ## Want to know more? Fill out the appointment request and one of our team members will get back to you asap. [Request an appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Fuller-life-team-color-2021.png) ##### Our Therapists Our team is culturally sensitive and compassionate. [Meet our therapists](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/FULLER-LIFE-WEST-AND-LOOP-MAP-IMAGE.png) ##### Our Locations Two locations in Houston or virtually in the state of Texas. [Where we are](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/qtq80-6Qskhy.jpeg) ##### Our Fees As a 501c3 Nonprofit, we make sure everyone can afford counseling. [About our fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) # Read Articles by Fuller Life Therapists about Trauma: - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/canstockphoto4516655.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/body-trauma-frozen-fully-living/) ## [The Body and Trauma: From Frozen to Fully Living ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/body-trauma-frozen-fully-living/) [Read More The Body and Trauma: From Frozen to Fully Living ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/body-trauma-frozen-fully-living/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/depression-grief.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/depression-grief/) ## [Lost Places](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/depression-grief/) [Read More Lost Places](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/depression-grief/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/You-decide.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-derailing-grief-process/) ## [Are you “HEALING” or “DERAILING” your grief process?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-derailing-grief-process/) [Read More Are you “HEALING” or “DERAILING” your grief process?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-derailing-grief-process/) --- ### [Our Graduates](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-graduates/) **Published:** September 10, 2021 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** # Our Graduates **We are pleased to recommend our graduates as exceptional therapists in our community.** ![Dormetra Henry](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Dormetra-Henry-Headshot-Fuller-LIfe-Family-Therapy.jpg) # [Dormetra Henry, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dormetrahenry/ "Dormetra Henry LPC, Clinical Therapist") 2017-2022 Dormetra sees children, teens, couples, families, and individuals through Fuller Life virtually and in person. She is a certified sand tray therapist. She sees children and teens for play therapy as well. She is in network with several insurance plans. [Dormetra Henry LPC- Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dormetrahenry/) --- ![Jayda Washington](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jayda-headshot-new-scaled-e1630912502692.jpg) # Jayda Washington Jayda is a therapist at the Parish School in Houston and runs therapy groups for partnerships with Fuller Life. [Jayda Washington LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/jayda-washington/) --- ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LINDSAY-PERRY-HEADSHOT-1-e1631302384595.png) # [Lindsay Perry, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/lindsayperry/) 2018-2021 Lindsay has a private practice in Houston Texas where she intentionally holds space for individuals and couples to build resiliency to life’s hardships and grow to live more whole, meaningful lives. [Grounded in Truth Counseling](//www.groundedintruthcounseling.com) --- ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Elisa-Headshot-scaled.jpg) # [Elisa Squier, LMFT](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/elisasquier/) 2018-2020 Elisa sees couples, children, teens and individuals with the Connections Family Center in Houston. [Connections Family Center](https://connectionsfamilycenter.com/elisa-squier/) --- ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6829-e1631305127874.jpg) # [Scott Rampy, LMFT 2012-2014](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) Scott is an LMFT in the NorthEast where he offers professional, personal and systems-informed therapy. [Articles by Scott Rampy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) ![Riya](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Fuller-Life-2018-Riya-Roney-1-e1717972241889.jpg) # [Riya Roney Vettickal](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/stephanie-jordan/) Riya sees clients at Fuller Life specializing in Somatic EMDR, mindfulness and emotion regulation. She takes insurance and has flexible hours. [Riya Roney Vettickal LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/riya/) --- ![Stephanie Jordan](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/STEPHANIE-HEADSHOT-scaled-e1630917290346.jpg) # [Stephanie Jordan, LPC 2018-2021](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/stephanie-jordan/) Stephanie has a private practice in Houston where she provides individual and couples therapy as well as spiritual direction. [A Better Me Wellness](http://abettermewellness.com) --- ![Angela Fl headshot square](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Angela-Blocker-LMFT-e1631303162413.png) # [Angela Blocker](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angela/), LMFT 2015-2019 Angela has a private practice in Houston where she provides relational, trauma-informed, and culturally humble counseling services to individuals, families, and couples. [Briargrove Family Counseling Center](https://www.briargrovefamilycounselingcenter.com) --- ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MG_6838-e1631304820220.jpg) # [Lesley Mendonca, LMFT, LPC](https://cachouston.org) 2013-2015 Lesley is a Family Therapist in Fort Worth, Texas. [Lesley Mendonca](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/page/2/?s=lesley) --- ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-e1631305233968.jpg) # [Tamara Tatum, LMFT 2016-2021](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tamaratatum/) Tamara Tatum is an LMFT in a group private practice in Cincinnati, Ohio. She also provides tele therapy for those in Texas. [Learn to Thrive](https://www.l2t.org) ![Chantail Green](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Chantail-Green-FL-Headshot-e1630912730614-edited.jpg) # [Dr. Chantail Green, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/chantailgreen/ "Dr. Chantail Green LPC, Clinical Therapist") 2019-2022 Chantail provides individual, couples, and family therapy. through Fuller Life with a specialization in sex therapy. She sees clients virtually. and takes insurance. [Chantail Green LPC- Fuller Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/chantailgreen/) --- ![Harold](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Harld-Gibson-Headshot-1-edited-scaled-e1630960696591.jpeg) # Harold Gibson LPC Harold was at Fuller LIfe from 2018-2022. He currently works as an outpatient therapist in southwest Houston. [Harold Gibson LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/harold/) --- ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Manet-Castaneda-Fuller-Life-Headshot-scaled-e1631305448934.jpg) # [Manet Castaneda ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/manet/)LPC[ 2016-2021](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/manet/) Manet sees clients in private practice at the Fuller Life Office. She is a bilingual therapist in English/Spanish. [Manet Castaneda LPC](https://manetcastanedalpc.com) --- ![Shani square](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Fuller-Life-2018-Shani-Bell-LPC-ATR-copy-1-e1631304334456.jpg) # [Shani Bell, LPC, ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shanibell/)[ATR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shanibell/) 2015-2018 Shani is a Registered Art Therapist and helps clients utilize their undiscovered strengths. [Anxiety Center of Houston](https://www.anxietycenterhouston.com/shanibell) --- ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jennifer-Christian-headshot.jpg) # [Jennifer Christian, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) 2012-2015 Jennifer was our first Resident Therapist. She has had a private practice in Houston where she provides [Somatic EMDR](https://naturalprocessing.org/about-np).. She is a Fuller Life Founding Board Member. [Jennifer Christian ](//fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jenniferchristian/) --- [Learn about our training](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/)[Training Interest Form](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=108) ## Partner We partner with other like-minded organizations through our therapy assitance partnership. We have multiple was to support our mission. [Partner with Us](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/partner/) ## Train We are a postgraduate training institute for developing therapists with a focus on the person of the therapist. [OUR TRAINING](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/) [Training Interest Form](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/) ## Support Fuller Life is a 501c3 non-profit organization and relies on generous donations. [DONATE](https://www.justgiving.com/fullerlifeinstitute) ## Therapy We offer professional therapy for [individuals,](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/) [children](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/), [teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/), [couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/) and [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) in our two Houston locations and online in the state of Texas. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## Connect Want to stay connected? Sign up to get our monthly tips for mental, emotional, relational and spiritual wellness. Stay informed about our mission and organization. [Monthly Wellness Tips](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=109) --- ### [Tamara Tatum, LMFT](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tamaratatum/) **Published:** September 13, 2016 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Tamara-Tatum-Fuller-Life-Headshot-e1631305233968-300x295.jpg)Tamara Tatum, LMFT Welcome! I am blessed to be considered as part of your journey in cultivating healing and wholeness! I am excited about healthy relationships and communities. While some of our deepest wounds occur relationally, I believe that healing can also happen in relationship. I hope to create a warm and safe environment that allows for healing to occur and to overflow in your life and relationships. My therapeutic style employs a blend of authenticity, playfulness and a deep respect for my clients’ lives and stories. My approach is holistic, attending to the physical, emotional and spiritual components of people. In therapy, I pay special attention to the many pieces that make up my clients’ lives – individual traits; family relationships; school, work, and community dynamics; spiritual and cultural influences. I see a diverse range of clients, including children and adolescents, adult individuals, families, and couples. I am also available for marriage preparation with premarital couples and am a PREPARE/ENRICH facilitator. I have an interest in working with individuals and families who have experienced trauma and am trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy (EMDR). I received a Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy from Wheaton College in Illinois and a Bachelor of Science in Psychology and Human Biology from the University of Toronto in Canada. In my spare time, I enjoy spending time with my husband and son; cooking for friends, and being in nature. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist #### Read articles by Tamara: [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/canstockphoto388173-300x233.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resilient-families/)#### [The Recipe for a Resilient Family ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resilient-families/) Every family experience some form of hardship. Have you ever noticed how some families seem to bounce back, perhaps even using ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resilient-families/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/canstockphoto69433674-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/5-discipline-strategies-kids-want-know/)#### [5 Discipline Strategies Your Kids Want You to Know – Disciplining Your Kids Well, Part 2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/5-discipline-strategies-kids-want-know/) In the first part of this blog series, we discussed some common misconceptions about discipline. We learned that discipline is ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/5-discipline-strategies-kids-want-know/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/canstockphoto47992599-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/disciplining-your-kids-well-part-1-common-misconceptions/)#### [3 Common Misconceptions About Discipline You Need to Know – Disciplining Your Kids Well, Part 1](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/disciplining-your-kids-well-part-1-common-misconceptions/) Disciplining your kids is a necessary part of parenting. While it is essential, discipline can often be misunderstood. In this ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/disciplining-your-kids-well-part-1-common-misconceptions/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/canstockphoto41512531-e1551141816974-300x224.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/whats-the-weather-like-inside-you-mindfulness-for-kids-and-adults-alike/)#### [What’s the Weather Like Inside You? Mindfulness for Kids and Adults Alike](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/whats-the-weather-like-inside-you-mindfulness-for-kids-and-adults-alike/) At times our feelings can feel so jumbled and all over the place that it is hard to put words ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/whats-the-weather-like-inside-you-mindfulness-for-kids-and-adults-alike/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/canstockphoto21029077-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/keys-good-nights-sleep/)#### [Keys to a Good Night’s Sleep](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/keys-good-nights-sleep/) Sleep. We all know we need it, but it be one of the first things to go during busier or ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/keys-good-nights-sleep/) [![Do not disturb sign](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/canstockphoto1139043-300x225.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/intimacy-good-sex/)#### [Does Intimacy Make for Good Sex? ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/intimacy-good-sex/) The beginning of a relationship is filled with excitement and possibility. Getting to know a new person and allowing them ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/intimacy-good-sex/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/girl-with-open-arms-to-sky-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/personal-power-can-change-life/)#### [How Personal Power Can Change Your Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/personal-power-can-change-life/) Consider two different scenarios. First, imagine yourself on a career trajectory that is suddenly cut short. You now take a new job ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/personal-power-can-change-life/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/divorcekids-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/talk-kids-divorce/)#### [How to Talk to Your Kids about Divorce ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/talk-kids-divorce/) Going through a separation or divorce can be a painful and confusing time for many. It can be especially difficult when there are children ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/talk-kids-divorce/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/canstockphoto4516655-300x164.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/body-trauma-frozen-fully-living/)#### [The Body and Trauma: From Frozen to Fully Living ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/body-trauma-frozen-fully-living/) An Impala and A Cheetah Imagine yourself as an impala grazing along a lush plain. You hear rustling in a ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/body-trauma-frozen-fully-living/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/canstockphoto20073692-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/autism-spectrum-disorder-family/)#### [The Ripple Effects of Autism Spectrum Disorder on the Family](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/autism-spectrum-disorder-family/) Angry outbursts and sudden withdrawal, hypersensitivity to touch and sound, yet insensitivity in interpersonal interactions – these seeming contradictions are ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/autism-spectrum-disorder-family/) --- ### [Art Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/art-therapy/) **Published:** November 11, 2015 **Author:** Shani Bell **Content:** ### [![art therapy lightbulb](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/art-therapy-lightbulb-254x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/art-therapy-101/) ### What is Art Therapy? [Studies](https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2008/June/docs/01features_01.htm) indicate that creative expression has a variety of benefits including reduction of stress and improvement in mood and cognition. Art Therapy, as defined by the [American Art Therapy Association](http://arttherapy.org/aata-aboutus/), is a mental health profession in which clients, facilitated by the art therapist, use art media, the creative process, and the resulting artwork to explore their feelings, reconcile emotional conflicts, foster self-awareness, manage behavior and addictions, develop social skills, improve reality orientation, reduce anxiety, and increase self-esteem. ### Where can I find Art Therapy? Art Therapy is practiced in a number of settings. This includes but is not limited to private practice, community programs, hospitals, rehabilitation facilities, psychiatric facilities, and schools. Client engages in the process within individual, couple, family, or group treatment. ### How does Art Therapy Work? Aided by the facilitator, clients engage in the creative process using a variety of art materials and prompts. The process of creating art builds mindfulness and is as important as the finished work. Together, the client and facilitator explore both the process and finished product. This encourages the client to gain insight and self-awareness. While the facilitator is witness and guide to the Art Therapy process, it is the client gains empowerment to use and interpret his or her own art to find personal meaning and discover strengths. ### Who can benefit from Art Therapy? Every person possesses the capabilities needed to engage in creative expression. Each person who does so has the potential to experience its benefits. Therefore, the use of Art Therapy in treatment is not restricted by age, skill level or even, in many cases, physical disability. This process only requires an openness to engage in the exploratory process of creating. Those who face challenges resulting from trauma or medical, physical, social, psychological, and/or emotional impairment may benefit from Art Therapy as well as those seeking general well-being and personal insight. Find out more about art therapy contact [Shayla Johnson](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/ "Shayla Johnson, Resident Therapist") --- ### [Houston Sliding-Scale Therapy Agencies](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/houston-sliding-scale-therapy-agencies/) **Published:** July 5, 2013 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** Therapy services on a sliding scale are hard to find, so we’ve put together this map of Houston Agencies that offer professional therapy on a sliding scale. To read more about each organization click on the icon and click “more details” to go to their webpage. TitleCategoryAddressDescriptionLink ## Get Directions ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/plugins/wp-google-maps-pro/images/icons/directions_car.png) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/plugins/wp-google-maps-pro/images/icons/directions_walking.png) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/plugins/wp-google-maps-pro/images/icons/directions_transit.png) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/plugins/wp-google-maps-pro/images/icons/directions_bike.png) From To [ Add Waypoint ](javascript:%20;) For Driving Walking Transit Bicycling [ show options ](javascript:;) [ hide options ](javascript:;) Avoid Tolls Avoid Highways Avoid Ferries Print directions Reset directions Fetching directions...... [Reset directions](javascript:void(0) "Reset directions") [Print directions](javascript: ; "Print directions") --- ### [Mindful Eating](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-eating/) **Published:** December 17, 2016 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** --- ### [Counseling Kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/) **Published:** March 14, 2012 **Author:** FullerLife **Content:** ## Play Therapy for Children Reach out today to find out if play therapy is right for your child [Request an appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) We have a therapy room designed specifically to work with children through play therapy, a validated and effective treatment for children. [Why play therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/playtherapy/)? Play is the language of a child. Play therapy builds upon the normal communication and learning style of children. As a play therapist engages the child, the child will express what is bothering them through play when they do not have the cognitive ability to express their thoughts and feelings through language. Toys are to children what words are to adults. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Unsaved-Preview-Document.png) [](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4ovwAdxCs0) Through play, therapists help children find and learn more adaptive behaviors, coping and social skills, improve self-esteem, and find hope in their current situation. Research has supported the efficacy of play therapy with a wide range of issues including dealing with divorce grief, chronic illness, regular life stressors, depression, anxiety, school problems, physical and sexual abuse, social skills issues, domestic violence, and natural disasters. When possible, therapists will involve the family in play therapy to enhance the healing aspects of play therapy. Request an appointment Ready to get started? ## Want to know more? Fill out the appointment request and one of our team members will get back to you asap. [Request an appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Fuller-life-team-color-2021.png) ##### Our Therapists Our team is culturally sensitive and compassionate. [Meet our therapists](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/FULLER-LIFE-WEST-AND-LOOP-MAP-IMAGE.png) ##### Our Locations Two locations in Houston or virtually in the state of Texas. [Where we are](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/qtq80-6Qskhy.jpeg) ##### Our Fees As a 501c3 Nonprofit, we make sure everyone can afford counseling. [About our fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) # Read Articles by Fuller Life Therapists about Kids: [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Guitar-e1366657165856.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-the-importance-of-play/) ## [Healing Practices: The Importance of Play](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-the-importance-of-play/) [Read More Healing Practices: The Importance of Play](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-the-importance-of-play/) [![play therapy for children in houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/canstockphoto12837359-e1397663335116.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/playtherapy/) ## [Life Lessons from the Play Therapy Room](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/playtherapy/) [Read More Life Lessons from the Play Therapy Room](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/playtherapy/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/canstockphoto44646393-1-1024x683.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/school-success/) ## [Simple Skills for School Success](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/school-success/) [Read More Simple Skills for School Success](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/school-success/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/canstockphoto8510755.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4532-2/) ## [The Real Reason Why Children with ADHD Need Structure and Play](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4532-2/) [Read More The Real Reason Why Children with ADHD Need Structure and Play](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4532-2/) --- ### [Thank You](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/thank-you/) **Published:** February 8, 2018 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** ## Thank you for submitting your request for more information. One of our team members will get in contact with you by the next business day. Want to talk to someone right now? Call our offices at [ (855) 245-LIFE (5433)](tel:+18552455433). Read more about [our therapists](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/). Click here to go to our [client portal](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=97). Access is granted to the portal after you have scheduled an initial appointment. ## Read our most recent blogs with tools for living well: [![self-kindness nurturing your inner adult](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/21-300x214.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-kindness/)#### [The Self-Kindness Your Inner Adult Deserves](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-kindness/) Most of us have said things to ourselves we'd never say to a friend. "Get it together." "Stop being so ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-kindness/) [![A captivating shot focusing on a reflection of an eye in a round mirror with Hamburg skyline in the background.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/a-captivating-shot-focusing-on-a-reflection-of-an-eye-in-a-round-mirror-with-hamburg-skyline-in-the-background.-28241065-240x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/why-self-compassion-is-more-powerful-than-self-criticism/)#### [Why Self-Compassion Is More Powerful Than Self-Criticism](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/why-self-compassion-is-more-powerful-than-self-criticism/) Many people live with an inner voice that sounds more like a harsh critic than a supportive coach. It says ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/why-self-compassion-is-more-powerful-than-self-criticism/) [![Orange and black butterfly perched on white flowers in a garden setting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/qtq80-vDBsN6-300x225.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-the-powerful-practice-of-creating-a-life-you-dont-need-to-escape/)#### [Self-Care: The Powerful Practice of Creating a Life You Don’t Need to Escape](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-the-powerful-practice-of-creating-a-life-you-dont-need-to-escape/) When people hear the words self-care, they often imagine expensive spa days, long vacations, or perfectly planned morning routines. But ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-the-powerful-practice-of-creating-a-life-you-dont-need-to-escape/) [![Hands touching a glass surface outdoors with trees reflecting, creating a serene ambiance.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/hands-touching-a-glass-surface-outdoors-with-trees-reflecting-creating-a-serene-ambiance.-9702267-259x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-confrontation-the-key-to-growth-without-shame/)#### [Self-Confrontation: The Key to Growth Without Shame](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-confrontation-the-key-to-growth-without-shame/) What Is Self-Confrontation? Self-confrontation starts with self-compassion and self-awareness. In other words, before you can face yourself honestly, you need ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-confrontation-the-key-to-growth-without-shame/) [![Waking up and self-awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Blog-Banner-Image-lake-300x169.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-regulation-in-relationships-how-to-improve-communication-and-emotional-control/)#### [Self-Regulation in Relationships: How to Improve Communication and Emotional Control](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-regulation-in-relationships-how-to-improve-communication-and-emotional-control/) The Importance of Self-Regulation in Relationships Most people want to stay calm during difficult conversations. They want to communicate clearly, ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-regulation-in-relationships-how-to-improve-communication-and-emotional-control/) [![how to grow strong relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Tree-image-for-grow-relationships-blog-300x169.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/strong-relationships-solid-self/)#### [What It Takes to Grow Strong Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/strong-relationships-solid-self/) Strong relationships don’t grow by accident. They don’t grow from more empathy, better conflict strategies, or even better communication skills ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/strong-relationships-solid-self/) [![Person underwater with eyes open, representing self-awareness and the effort of staying awake rather than avoiding inner experience.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/evelyn-verdin-Z543CMKt5o0-unsplash-300x225.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-awareness-staying-awake/)#### [Self-Awareness: How Your Survival Instincts Keep You Asleep](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-awareness-staying-awake/) Most of us don’t realize we’ve fallen asleep until something jolts us awake. It might be snapping at someone we ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-awareness-staying-awake/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/Be-well-Images-2025-8-300x200.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/bewell/)#### [31 Days of Wellness to Wrap Up Your Year](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/bewell/) Be well, give wellness Wrap up your year with 31 days of Wellness Each day in December, our mental health ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/bewell/) [![mindful moments in nature](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/qtq80-eq7W8T-300x200.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-moments-in-nature-how-to-be-well/)#### [Mindful Moments in Nature: How to Be Well](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-moments-in-nature-how-to-be-well/) When life feels noisy, crowded, or moving too fast, nature quietly invites us back to ourselves. Spending time outdoors doesn’t ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-moments-in-nature-how-to-be-well/) [![recognize teen suicide](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/a-young-man-helps-his-friend-after-a-fall-on-urban-steps-showcasing-friendship-and-support.-5370343-200x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/help-hurting-teens-how-to-recognize-and-respond-to-suicide-risk/)#### [Help Hurting Teens: How to Recognize and Respond to Suicide Risk](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/help-hurting-teens-how-to-recognize-and-respond-to-suicide-risk/) Suicide, as defined by the World Health Organization (WHO), is the deliberate act of ending one’s own life. Tragically, it ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/help-hurting-teens-how-to-recognize-and-respond-to-suicide-risk/) [![Two teenagers in casual attire, standing outdoors with a modern backdrop, smiling.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/two-teenagers-in-casual-attire-standing-outdoors-with-a-modern-backdrop-smiling.-4816754-300x169.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-spot-bullying-in-boys-and-intervene-early/)#### [How to Spot Bullying in Boys and Intervene Early](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-spot-bullying-in-boys-and-intervene-early/) Bullying is not just “kids being kids.” For adolescent boys, it can cause lasting harm to mental health, school performance, ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-spot-bullying-in-boys-and-intervene-early/) [![Black Teenage Girl](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/teen-canstockphoto89094807-scaled-e1630989903498-300x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-truth-about-teen-girls-and-mental-health-in-2025/)#### [The Truth About Teen Girls and Mental Health in 2025](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-truth-about-teen-girls-and-mental-health-in-2025/) Today’s teens are dealing with a lot. Social media, pressure to succeed in school, and worries at home can all ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-truth-about-teen-girls-and-mental-health-in-2025/) - [1](#) - [2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=2&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) - [3](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=3&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) - […](#) - [19](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=19&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) - [›](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=2&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) ![Loading...](data:image/gif;base64,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) --- ### [Jayda Washington, Resident Therapist](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/jayda-washington/) **Published:** September 14, 2018 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** [![Jayda Washington](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jayda-headshot-new-scaled-e1630912502692-1020x1024.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Jayda-headshot-new-scaled-e1630912502692.jpg)Jayda Washington, Resident Therapist ##### Group Therapist ## Jayda Washington Welcome, I’m Jayda! It seems that you have found yourself at a crossroads, a crisis, or a confusing point in your life, and you have decided enough is enough. You can no longer continue to function this way and that is when the shift begins. Pain, grief, heartache, sudden life changes, chronic relationship issues, and family conflict are all inevitable challenges of life. We are all susceptible to life’s most difficult moments. It is a part of the human experience. At one point or another, we all will find ourselves asking, “How did I get here?” Wherever you find yourself today, do not fret. You were built to work through it, and you’ve just realized that maybe you need a little extra help getting there. Are you in a marriage on the brink of falling apart, devoid of sex and intimacy? Maybe as a couple it has been hard trying to navigate your differing parenting styles or blended family. Maybe you are unhappy with the relationships between your children or are overwhelmed with the constant conflicts between the members of your family. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) Whether you have shown up for yourself, your relationship, or your family, I am so glad you’re here. As a resident therapist at Fuller Life, I hold a Master of Arts in Counseling from the Houston Graduate School of Theology with a Licensed Professional Counselor, with plans to continue education with a specialization in Marriage and Family Therapy. I have worked with clients who have experienced the following: - Drug abuse and alcoholism - Depression and anxiety - Self-development/life choices and career uncertainty - Sexual abuse, assault, and rape - Binge eating/disordered eating, struggles with body image - Sexual identity exploration - Loneliness, singleness - College transition, test anxiety, campus living adjustment - Work stress due to high stress work environment - Death, loss, and grief - Assimilation, immigration, and adjustment to western culture. - Existential concerns, spirituality exploration Couples’ issues: - Intimate partner violence - Separation - Same-sex relationships - In-law relationships - Infidelity - Partner role change/career change - Individuation within the marriage Family Issues: - Parent-child strained relationships - Blended families - Child adjustment to divorce/ separation - Troubled behavior in children - African American struggles/issues The relationship we have with ourselves is most important. When we nurture ourselves, we are then able to begin to have healthy connections with others in our professional, familial, and romantic relationships. I like to look at life stressors through a systemic lens; the belief that there can be multiple contributing factors to some of life’s hardest challenges. I believe all things are connected and can unknowingly affect us. From our past family history to our current environment, even down to the food we eat. It is not easy to admit you need help but if you have made it this far, you are already making strides in the right direction. Thank you in advance for allowing me into your space to join you on your journey. I cannot promise you a better life, but if you are ready to do the work, you can have a changed life for the better. I can’t wait to meet with you! Let’s get to work! ### Contact Jayda: Jayda does group therapy for Fuller LIfe with our partner organizations. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## Read Articles by Jayda: [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/ChangeStockPhoto-1-1024x1024.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/nothing-changes-if-nothing-changes/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Lifestyle](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/lifestyle/) | [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) | [Problem Solving](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/problem-solving/) | [Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/) | [transitions](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/transitions/) ## [Nothing Changes, if Nothing Changes](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/nothing-changes-if-nothing-changes/) By [Jayda Washington](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/jayda-washington/) Do people really change? This is a question that often plagues people when considering counseling. Is it even worth trying? What does it take to change a mindset, a habit or behavior?[Read More Nothing Changes, if Nothing Changes](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/nothing-changes-if-nothing-changes/) --- ### [Chantail Infidelity](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/infidelity/) **Published:** November 22, 2022 **Author:** Dr. Chantail Green **Content:** # Don’t face the aftermath of infidelity alone. Therapy can help you find a way through When adultery occurs it feels like the floor has gone out from beneath your feet. For the resolute partner, it’s so hard to come to grips with the reality that the person you relied on to journey through life is not the person you thought they were. For the partner that went outside of the marriage, there is difficulty knowing how to proceed, what to disclose, and how to make sense of what happened. Both people often struggle with whether to try to keep the marriage together or give up and start over elsewhere. When couples are facing infidelity, a solid couples therapist is invaluable. A good couples therapist will respectfully work with both people to face the issues in front of them and help them navigate the uncertainties of the situation. ## **What is Infidelity** Infidelity, commonly known as adultery, occurs when one partner engages in intimate or romantic interactions with someone outside of the committed relationship, breaching the trust and fidelity expected within the partnership. It’s a profound breach of trust that can leave individuals feeling devastated, betrayed, and questioning the foundation of their relationship. ## **Surviving Infidelity** When adultery strikes, it’s akin to having the ground pulled out from under you. For the resolute partner, it’s a staggering realization that the person they trusted and relied on isn’t who they believed them to be. Meanwhile, the unfaithful partner grapples with guilt, confusion, and the daunting task of rebuilding trust. Both individuals may find themselves at a crossroads, uncertain of whether to fight for the relationship or walk away. ## ****Signs Your Marriage Will Survive Infidelity**** Despite the profound pain and turmoil that infidelity brings, some marriages can weather the storm and emerge stronger on the other side. Signs that your marriage may have the resilience to survive infidelity include a shared commitment to open communication, genuine remorse and efforts to repair from the unfaithful partner, and a mutual desire to rebuild intimacy. Seeking guidance from a skilled couples therapist can also significantly enhance the chances of healing and reconciliation. ## ****When to Walk Away After Infidelity**** While some marriages can overcome the trauma of infidelity, others may reach a point where separation is the healthiest option for both parties. If the unfaithful partner refuses to take accountability for their actions, continues to engage in deceitful behavior, or if trust cannot be restored despite sincere efforts, it may be time to consider ending the relationship. Ultimately, each individual must prioritize their emotional well-being and make the decision that aligns with their values and needs. - Chantail green, LPC ## Meet Dr. Green Chantail Green is a Licensed Professional Counselor with a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and a post-graduate certificate from Fuller Life. She is a certified sex therapist candidate and holds a doctorate degree with a specialization in sexuality. Chantaill specializes in helping couples or individuals navigate the aftermath of infidelity to help them find the healing and hope they need to move forward. She sees clients online in the state of Texas. Call [Chantail ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/chantailgreen/)today to schedule an appointment at [(832) 685-2018](tel:+18326852018). [REQUEST APPOINTMENT WITH CHANTAIL](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=101) # Read articles by Fuller Life therapists about Infidelity [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Couple-holding-hands-e1390934183490.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/happily-ever-after-building-walls-and-closing-cracks/) ## [Happily Ever After: Building Walls and Closing Cracks](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/happily-ever-after-building-walls-and-closing-cracks/) [Read More Happily Ever After: Building Walls and Closing Cracks](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/happily-ever-after-building-walls-and-closing-cracks/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/canstockphoto9067768-e1447972366862.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4320-2/) ## [Infidelity: the natural disaster you can survive](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4320-2/) [Read More Infidelity: the natural disaster you can survive](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4320-2/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/canstockphoto23371956-1.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/talking-after-infidelity/) ## [Infidelity: the natural disaster you can talk about](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/talking-after-infidelity/) [Read More Infidelity: the natural disaster you can talk about](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/talking-after-infidelity/) --- ### [Chantail Infidelity - Christian](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/chantail-infidelity-christian/) **Published:** March 8, 2023 **Author:** Dr. Chantail Green **Content:** # Don’t face the aftermath of infidelity alone. Therapy can help you find a way through. Couples facing the aftermath of infidelity often feel really lost. One person faces the shocking grief of coping with what has happened. The other may feel guilt or shame over their own actions. Both people struggle with what to do and how to navigate the aftermath of adultery. When faith is important it’s challenging to know where to turn for help that will honor your Christian faith with Biblical truth. When couples are facing infidelity, a good solid couples therapist is invaluable. Chantail Green LPC is a certified sex therapist candidate with AASECT. Additionally, she is completing a seminary doctorate with a specialization in sexuality at the Houston Graduate School of Theology. Couples often present with ambiguity about whether to stay married and work on the relationship or move toward separation and divorce. Chantail does not tell clients what to do in a situation like this, but respectfully helps you navigate your concerns in a way that honors who you are and what you value. Chantail sees individuals and couples virtually in the state of Texas. Please reach out today. - Chantail Green, LPC ## Meet Dr. Green Chantail Green is a Licensed Professional Counselor with a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and a post-graduate certificate from Fuller Life. She is a certified sex therapist candidate and holds a doctorate degree with a specialization in sexuality. Chantaill specializes in helping couples or individuals navigate the aftermath of infidelity to help them find the healing and hope they need to move forward. She sees clients online in the state of Texas. Call [Chantail ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/chantailgreen/)today to schedule an appointment at [(832) 685-2018](tel:+18326852018). [REQUEST APPOINTMENT WITH CHANTAIL](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=101) # Read articles by Fuller Life therapists about Infidelity No posts --- ### [Dormetra Henry LPC, Clinical Therapist](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dormetrahenry/) **Published:** January 11, 2018 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** [![Dormetra Henry](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Dormetra-Henry-Headshot-Fuller-LIfe-Family-Therapy-984x1024.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Dormetra-Henry-Headshot-Fuller-LIfe-Family-Therapy.jpg)Dormetra Henry, LPC, Clinical Therapist ##### Clinical Therapist ## Dormetra Henry LPC Becoming a counselor has been my life’s dream and I am so humbled to be able to provide counseling services to all in need regardless of status. I want to help you through your journey no matter what life has thrown at you but understand that while I am here to walk alongside you, I will speak the truth into your situation. No two counselors are alike and I am quite unique, I am a certified sandtray therapist which is an expressive form of therapy helping clients experience growth and healing with sand. I graduated from LeTourneau University in 2014 with my I Bachelor’s degree in human services and then went on to receive my Master’s in professional counseling from LeTourneau University as well in 2018. I am currently a Licensed Professional Counselor and a Certified Sandtray Therapist (IPT-CSTA) through Texas State University. I am a graduate of Fuller Life’s intensive post-graduate training and hold a Certificate in Marriage and Family Therapy. In my free time, I enjoy talking with my sons and spending time with my family because they keep me grounded. [Request an Appointment with Dormetra Henry LPC](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=117) --- I schedule appointments in the evenings, Monday through Thursday. I see clients in person at 4545 Bissonnet, Suite 289 and through telehealth. I do accept insurance for individuals. I look forward to working with you. ## How to contact Dormetra: If you are interested in an appointment or more information I can be reached: - phone: [(832) 548-9625.](tel:+18325489625) - email: - Webform: [Secure Inquiry Form](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=117) ## Read articles by Dormetra: --- [![sand tray therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/sand-therapy-canstockphoto88760472-1024x683.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/magic-sand-tray/) [ADD-ADHD](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/add-adhd/) | [Adolescents & Children](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/) | [Child Abuse (Safety)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/child-abuse/) | [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Depression, Bipolar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/depression-bipolar/) | [Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/play-therapy/) | [Social Skills](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/social-skills/) ## [Working it out in the Sand: The Magic of Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/magic-sand-tray/) By [Dormetra Henry](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/dormetra-henry/) Sandtray can be used in all modes of therapy and is extremely effective for working through trauma. The use of sand helps clients move more deeply into their issues than regular talk therapy. [Read More Working it out in the Sand: The Magic of Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/magic-sand-tray/) --- ### [Local Houston Resources](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/local-houston/) **Published:** September 13, 2012 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** **Addiction and Recovery** - Adolescent Outpatient: [Center for Success and Independence](http://www.tcsi.org/) - [Bellaire Inpatient Drug and Alcohol Rehab Facilities](http://www.rehabs.com/local/bellaire-tx/ "Bellaire Inpatient Drug and Alcohol Facilities") - [Alcohol Rehab Center in Bellaire](http://www.addiction-treatment.com/find/alcohol/bellaire-tx/ "Alcohol Rehab Center in Bellaire") - All Ages Residential & Outpatient: [Cenikor](http://www.cenikor.org/) - Inpatient All Ages: [Memorial Hermann Prevention & Recovery Center](http://parc.memorialhermann.org/) - Women, Homeless, 18 Years & Older: [Santa Maria Hostel](http://www.santamariahostel.org/) - Houston Drug Rehabilitation: [AddictionCenter](https://www.addictioncenter.com/rehabs/texas/houston/) - [Alcoholics Anonymous](http://www.aahouston.org/) - [Sex Addicts Anonymous](http://saa-recovery.org/) **Adolescents and Children** - ADD-ADHD: [Attention Deficit Disorders Association Southern Region](http://www.adda-sr.org/) - Parenting: [Collaborative for Children](http://www.collabforchildren.org/) (Free) - Single Parenting: [Buckner Family Place](http://www.buckner.org/locations/tx-houston.shtml) - Social Skills: [LifeTrek](http://lifetreksolutions.com/content.php?id=92), [Social Motion Skills](http://www.socialmotionskills.org/) **Domestic Violence** - [The Houston Area Women’s Center](http://www.hawc.org/site/c.9hJJL0MDK8KWE/b.6724167/k.BED3/Home.htm) - [The Bridge](http://www.thebridgeovertroubledwaters.org/) - [Aid to Victims of Domestic Violence](http://avda-tx.org/v2/) - [S.T.E.P.S. Counseling](http://www.stepscounseling.com/) - [Futures Without Violence](http://www.futureswithoutviolence.org/) **Mental Health** - [Depression & Bipolar Support Alliance](http://www.dbsahouston.org/) - [Eating Disorders Anonymous](http://www.eatingdisordersanonymous.org/) - Sliding-Scale Psychiatric: [Legacy Community Health Services](http://legacycommunityhealth.org/ "Legacy Community Health Services") **Women’s Health** - Mammogram: [The Rose](http://www.the-rose.org/) --- ### [Dr. Timothy Parker, Clinical Supervisor](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dr-timothy-parker-lmft-clinical-supervisor/) **Published:** October 17, 2020 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** [![Tim Parker](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/TIM-PARKER-HEADSHOT-scaled-e1630977283157-1021x1024.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/TIM-PARKER-HEADSHOT-scaled-e1630977283157.jpg)Dr. Timothy Parker, Clinical Supervisor ## Dr. Tim Parker, LMFT-S ## Clinical Supervisor Dr. Tim Parker is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist serving as a clinical supervisor for Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute. Tim is also adjunct faculty for Abilene Christian University in their online Marriage and Family Therapy Program. He works in private practice seeing clients in the Austin, TX area in person and other Texas cities and all of Colorado online. His website is [www.timparkerphd.com](http://www.timparkerphd.com). Dr. Parker has a Ph.D. from Texas Tech University in Marriage and Family Therapy. He also holds a master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy from Abilene Christian University. Prior to matriculating to Abilene Christian, Dr. Parker Graduated with a Bachelor of Science from Rochester University in Rochester Hills, MI. Dr. Parker lives in Austin, TX with his wife and three daughters. Tim serves on the board of directors for Fuller Life. [TimParkerPhd.com](http://www.timparkerphd.com/) --- ### [Stephanie Jordan, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/stephanie-jordan/) **Published:** August 13, 2018 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** [![Stephanie Jordan](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/STEPHANIE-HEADSHOT-scaled-e1630917290346-1020x1024.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/STEPHANIE-HEADSHOT-scaled-e1630917290346.jpg)Stephanie Jordan, Resident Therapist ## Stephanie Jordan, LPC ### [A Better Me Wellness](http://abettermewellness.com) Hello! My name is Stephanie Jordan and I am a Licensed Professional Counselor. I hold a Masters of Arts degree in Counseling and a Certificate in Spiritual Direction from Houston Graduate School of Theology and received my undergraduate degree in Psychology from the University of Southern California. Previously, I worked in the Human Resources field for more than 20 years; and I am humbled to transition into the professional counseling field to serve others. My desire is to help hurting people with broken spirits, find healing in pursuit of their best life. Likewise, I am passionate about helping others live out their spirituality and deepen their relationship with God through the practice of spiritual direction. My focus is in mental health counseling and psychotherapy with a specialization in grief work. I am a graduate of Fuller Life holding a post-graduate certificate in Marriage and Family Therapy. I now serve on the Board of Directors at Fuller Life. [A Better Me Wellness](http://abettermewellness.com) --- I work with many client populations ranging from older adolescents to adults; and provide counseling to those suffering from complicated grief and/or other emotional loss(es), difficulties with family dynamics, dating and relationship problems, image, identity, and self-esteem issues, depression, career and/or other life transitions, those searching for meaning and purpose in life, as well as those struggling with spiritual matters. If any of these dilemmas feel burdensome, stressful, or too heavy for you to carry alone, and impact your ability to function normally, please know there is always hope and a way to move forward. It would be a privliege to accompany you on your journey and support you in your coureagous decision to honor yourself, find healing, and realize your own resilience. # *“No matter how dark the moment, love and hope are always possible.” – George Chakiris* # Stephanie Jordan, LPC Through individual therapy, we will work together and tailor a treatment plan that supports your therapeutic goals and desired outcomes. I invite you to embrace accountability, and create new possibilities for yourself which enable solutions that promote inner healing and renewed hope. I look forward to meeting you at Fuller Life Family Therapy and would welcome an opportunity to work with you. ### Contact Stephanie: To schedule an appointment please contact me by email at [Stephanie@FullerLifeFamilyTherapy.org](mailto:stephanie@FullerLifeFamilyTherapy.org), by phone at [(832) 408-6218](tel:+18324086218) or thorough our [webform.](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) Availability: Tues, Wed, and Thurs. from 2 pm – 7 pm Sat. from 9 am – 1 pm. --- [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/You-decide-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-derailing-grief-process/)#### [Are you “HEALING” or “DERAILING” your grief process?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-derailing-grief-process/) Grief is an equal opportunity offender and impacts everyone, especially during the era of COVID-19. However, how we understand grief ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-derailing-grief-process/) [![COMPASSION](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Three-hands-with-broken-heart-e1607730942822-300x190.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/when-african-americans-grieve/)#### [When African Americans Grieve](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/when-african-americans-grieve/) This summer, the nation and the world grieved the loss of George Floyd and other victims of police violence. The ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/when-african-americans-grieve/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/canstockphoto7885910-1-300x192.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/grief-spirituality-intersect/)#### [When Grief and Spirituality Intersect](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/grief-spirituality-intersect/) In light of the recent global novel Coronavirus pandemic that spread and claimed the lives of hundreds of thousands of ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/grief-spirituality-intersect/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Holiday-Blues-image-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/beating-the-holiday-blues/)#### [Fa-la-la-la-blah! Beating the Holiday Blues](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/beating-the-holiday-blues/) The holiday season taunts itself as “the most wonderous time of the year,” but is it really? For some, the ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/beating-the-holiday-blues/) --- ### [How We Help](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/) **Published:** March 14, 2012 **Author:** FullerLife **Content:** [![individual](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/qtq80-Mv7onK-768x512.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/) ## [Individual Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/) [Learn more Individual Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/) [![couples therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/couple-canstockphoto77725264-1-768x512.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/) ## [Couples Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/) [Learn more Couples Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/teen-family-canstockphoto66644200-768x512.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/) ## [Therapy with teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/) [Learn more Therapy with teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/canstockphoto47837500-768x512.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/) ## [Counseling Kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/) [Learn more Counseling Kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/family-play-therapy-canstockphoto32261640-768x512.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) ## [Family Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) [Learn more Family Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) [![Fuller life team 2015](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Fuller-Life-Team-2-1.9mg-768x511.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/) ## [Train with Us](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/) [Learn more Train with Us](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/qtq80-pvi4jY-768x512.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/partner/) ## [Partner with us](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/partner/) [Learn more Partner with us](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/partner/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/canstockphoto76988920-1-768x512.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) ## [Group Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) [Learn more Group Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/group-therapy/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Amy-speak-ACU1623713_10152578020517738_675169463_n.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-speakers/) ## [Speaking Engagements](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-speakers/) [Learn more Speaking Engagements](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-speakers/) [Contact Us](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) #### Help Through Dynamic Treatment At Fuller Life, we provide in-depth relational therapy for a diverse population of clients including [individual](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/)s, [couple](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/)s, [children](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/),[ adolescent](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/)s and [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) in the Houston area. We heal within relationship and understand deeply the importance of this awareness. Our therapists provide for our clients from within their varying specialties and modalities. We aim to help through diverse and affordable services to the community we serve. #### Help Through Accessible Services Our hours are flexible, and fees for resident therapists are set on a [sliding scale based on income](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/forms-affordable-fees/affordable-counseling/). Therapists also collaborate with resources in the community to provide holistic care. Please submit an appointment request or call us today for more information at (855) 245-5433. Click here for information on [getting started in therapy. ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/forms-affordable-fees/counseling-forms/) Click here to [request more information](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91). #### Help through educational and inspirational resources. We are a training institute dedicated to furthering the skills of our therapists. Our therapists actively write articles to pass this information on to others. The articles share tools and information about mental health, improving relationships, deepening spirituality, and enhancing self-care. We also curate great [resources](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resources/) we find on the web on our scoop it pages. Find us on your favorite social media source or [subscribe to our newsletter](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=109) to get these resources off the press. Click here to see our [most recent articles](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-blog/). Click here to see our curated [resources](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resources/). --- ### [Robert LaBarbera, Resident Therapist](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/robert/) **Published:** February 28, 2023 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Robert-LaBarbera-Headshot-6-e1677105120987-1024x1024.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Robert-LaBarbera-Headshot-6-e1677105120987.png)Robert LaBarbera, Resident Therapist ##### Resident Therapist ## Robert LaBarbera > *I believe that all people have value and a unique calling for their life. While we all experience hard things in life, it is possible to heal and work though the difficulty to find hope for the future. I provide caring and compassionate professional counseling for individuals, couples and families with mental and emotional struggles. I look forward to providing a safe, nonjudgmental space to talk about the challenges you are facing, working with you toward healing, and discovering your calling to guide your next steps for your life.* > > Robert has a Bachelor of Education degree from the University of Houston and a master’s degree in Strategic Business Planning from the University of Houston Clear Lake. After 22 years in both the public and private business sectors working in Information Technology, he felt the calling of God to change careers and become a Christian Counselor. Robert holds a Master of Arts in Christian Counseling from Houston Christian University. Robert is a Licensed Professional Counselor Associate and sees clients both virtually and in person though Fuller Life Family Therapy, under the supervision of Amy Fuller PhD. > Even though he specializes in Christian (Catholic and Protestant) Counseling, he works with people in an open and accepting manner. Robert enjoys working with adults struggling with anxiety, depression, loneliness, relationship issues, addiction, enmeshment, and co-dependency. He also helps those with marriage and family issues. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## Contact Robert: I see clients at both Fuller Life West, Fuller Life Loop and through tele-mental health. Please call or email for an appointment or submit our secure inquiry form. To schedule an appointment please contact me by email at [Robert@FullerLifeFamilyTherapy.org](mailto:Riya@FullerLifeFamilyTherapy.org), by phone at [(832) 685-2050](tel:+8326852050) or through our [webform.](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## Articles by Robert: [![mother burnout](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/woman-stressed-and-kids-burnout-shutterstock_2219077613.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout-3/) [Boundaries](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/boundaries-relationships/) | [Lifestyle](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/lifestyle/) | [mental health,](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health-3/) | [Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/) | [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) | [Stress Management](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/stress-management/) ## [Breaking Free from Burnout: Identifying Causes and Creating Change](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout-3/) By [Robert LaBarbera](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/robertlabarbera/) One of the first steps to overcome burnout is first noticing that one has it. Many times, we are so busy with the details of life that we do not have time to notice when we might be suffering from burnout. [Read More Breaking Free from Burnout: Identifying Causes and Creating Change](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout-3/) --- --- ### [Relationship Therapy in Houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/relationship-therapy-in-houston/) **Published:** January 6, 2024 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** What you need to know about# RELATIONSHIP THERAPY ## Professional guidance for a flourishing relationship [Learn More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/) --- ## *When* you need to heal, relationship therapy can be the catalyst for meaningful change. ## **What is Relationship Therapy?** Relationship therapy is a specialized form of counseling where a seasoned therapist collaborates with you and your partner to enhance the quality of your relationship. ## **What to expect from Relationship Therapy** Anticipate sessions with your therapist and partner to openly address personal and mutual ambitions for growth and the vision you share for an enriched bond. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## “Real change happens when we confront the truth about ourselves and have the courage to do something about it.” Irvin Yalom, *The Gift of Therapy* ## Are you ready for relatinship therapy? ## Immediate tools for for your Relationship Many partners might underestimate their conflicts, not seeking counseling until it becomes critical. Starting therapy promptly can help foster the growth and development of a nurturing and satisfying relationship. On the right, you’ll find articles by our therapists about common relationship challenges. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Couple-with-jigsaw-puzzle-e1369144982405.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/do-all-healthy-couples-fight/) ## [Do all healthy couples fight?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/do-all-healthy-couples-fight/) May 16, 2013 By [Scott Rampy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) [![couple in bed](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Screenshot-2017-02-13-05.20.03-e1487047848922.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/get-better-sex-get-better-life/) ## [Get Better at Sex and Get Better at Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/get-better-sex-get-better-life/) January 7, 2017 By [Manet Castaneda](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/canstockphoto23371956-1.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/talking-after-infidelity/) ## [Infidelity: the natural disaster you can talk about](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/talking-after-infidelity/) December 16, 2015 By [Angela Blocker](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/canstockphoto4191474-e1354308397313.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-men-and-women-perceive-negative-emotions-differently-good-news-about-empathy-part-2/) ## [How men and women perceive negative emotions differently: Good news about Empathy, Part 2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-men-and-women-perceive-negative-emotions-differently-good-news-about-empathy-part-2/) October 23, 2012 By [Amy Fuller PhD](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/dramyfuller/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/marriage-problems-e1332290386508.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/marriagehelp-marriage-therapy/) ## [Seven Reasons to Get Help For Your Marriage before it’s too late](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/marriagehelp-marriage-therapy/) March 26, 2012 By [Amy Fuller PhD](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/dramyfuller/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Why-your-Partner-Wont-Have-Sex-with-You-scaled-1024x692.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/partner-wont-sex/) ## [Why your Partner Won’t Have Sex with You](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/partner-wont-sex/) August 8, 2017 By [Manet Castaneda](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/couple-ontake-canstockphoto42159405-1024x684.jpg) Find respect for yourself again through relationship therapy ## Finding the best in relationship therapy in Houston. A distinguished relationship therapist will integrate a balanced and comprehensive approach. With training in systems theory, they’ll assess the relationship dynamics comprehensively, aiding partners in recognizing their roles in interaction patterns that may have turned counterproductive. [Request an Appoinment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## How does relationship therapy work? ### What do you talk about in relationship therapy? Therapy is uniquely customized for each couple, tailored to address the specific challenges they face. Partners often seek guidance on issues such as communication breakdowns, trust violations, sexual dissatisfaction, parenting challenges, financial stress, or family disputes. The therapeutic journey often begins with a deep dive into the foundational attitudes towards these issues. ### How do get free relationship therapy in Houston? Locating cost-effective therapy for couples can be a challenge, but it’s possible through therapists who offer a sliding fee scale based on financial circumstances. Learn more about Fuller Life’s sliding scale pricing [here](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees"). ### Is online relationship therapy worth it? Despite an inclination for in-person sessions, remote therapy has been proven just as effective, given the couple is willing to engage in the work. Research endorses the efficacy of digital sessions, and telehealth brings the advantage of flexible scheduling and the convenience of consulting a therapist from any location. ### Can I use insurance for online relationship therapy? Should your insurance plan include couples or family therapy, it may cover relationship therapy sessions. Those with out-of-network benefits can select their therapist and handle the claims process or find a therapist within their insurance network. Fuller Life maintains a number of relationship therapists who accept a range of insurance policies. ## Read our articles about Healthy Couple Relationships [![intimate partner violence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/fist-intimate-partner-violence.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/intimate-partner-violence/) ## [The unexpected reality of intimate partner violence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/intimate-partner-violence/) [Read More The unexpected reality of intimate partner violence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/intimate-partner-violence/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Couple-communicates-891x1024.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/building-relationships-as-we-negotiate/) ## [Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate: Part 2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/building-relationships-as-we-negotiate/) [Read More Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate: Part 2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/building-relationships-as-we-negotiate/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/get-unstuck-e1414100786345.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/getunstuck/) ## [Three Simple Ways to Get Yourself Unstuck!](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/getunstuck/) [Read More Three Simple Ways to Get Yourself Unstuck!](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/getunstuck/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Wedding-e1365625810149.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/my-love-story/) ## [Writing A Love Story: Did I Marry the Right “One?”](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/my-love-story/) [Read More Writing A Love Story: Did I Marry the Right “One?”](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/my-love-story/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/blended-family.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/four-truths-stepfamilies/) ## [Four Truths about Stepfamilies that You Need to Know](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/four-truths-stepfamilies/) [Read More Four Truths about Stepfamilies that You Need to Know](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/four-truths-stepfamilies/) [![Do not disturb sign](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/canstockphoto1139043.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/intimacy-good-sex/) ## [Does Intimacy Make for Good Sex? ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/intimacy-good-sex/) [Read More Does Intimacy Make for Good Sex? ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/intimacy-good-sex/) [![trees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/tree-path.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/boundaries-2/) ## [Boundaries Part I](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/boundaries-2/) [Read More Boundaries Part I](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/boundaries-2/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Angry-Couple-e1362601004592.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/anger-and-relationships/) ## [Anger and Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/anger-and-relationships/) [Read More Anger and Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/anger-and-relationships/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/couple-e1447971394374.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/ineffective-communication-part-two-what-not-to-do-and-what-not-to-say/) ## [Ineffective communication, Part two: What not to do and what not to say](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/ineffective-communication-part-two-what-not-to-do-and-what-not-to-say/) [Read More Ineffective communication, Part two: What not to do and what not to say](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/ineffective-communication-part-two-what-not-to-do-and-what-not-to-say/) --- ### [Marriage Counseling in Houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/marriage-counseling-in-houston/) **Published:** January 6, 2024 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** What you need to know about# MARRIAGE COUNSELING ## When expertise is essential to build a strong and enduring marriage [Learn More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/) --- ## When you want to transform your union, marriage counseling is a vital starting place. ## **What is Marriage Counseling?** Marriage counseling offers a growth oriented space where experienced therapists assist partners in repairing and rebuilding their marital connection. ## **What to Expect from Marriage Counseling** Look forward to engaging with a counselor and your partner to discuss aspirations for personal development and shared goals for enriching your partnership. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## “Real change happens when we confront the truth about ourselves and have the courage to do something about it.” Irvin Yalom, *The Gift of Therapy* ## Are you ready for Marriage Counselling? ## Tips for marriage you can access today Small misunderstandings can escalate into larger conflicts if left unaddressed. Timely counseling interventions can pave the way to nurturing the deep, meaningful relationship you both desire. You’ll find insightful professional content on common marital challenges to the right. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Couple-with-jigsaw-puzzle-e1369144982405.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/do-all-healthy-couples-fight/) ## [Do all healthy couples fight?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/do-all-healthy-couples-fight/) May 16, 2013 By [Scott Rampy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) [![couple in bed](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Screenshot-2017-02-13-05.20.03-e1487047848922.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/get-better-sex-get-better-life/) ## [Get Better at Sex and Get Better at Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/get-better-sex-get-better-life/) January 7, 2017 By [Manet Castaneda](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/canstockphoto23371956-1.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/talking-after-infidelity/) ## [Infidelity: the natural disaster you can talk about](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/talking-after-infidelity/) December 16, 2015 By [Angela Blocker](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/canstockphoto4191474-e1354308397313.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-men-and-women-perceive-negative-emotions-differently-good-news-about-empathy-part-2/) ## [How men and women perceive negative emotions differently: Good news about Empathy, Part 2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-men-and-women-perceive-negative-emotions-differently-good-news-about-empathy-part-2/) October 23, 2012 By [Amy Fuller PhD](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/dramyfuller/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/marriage-problems-e1332290386508.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/marriagehelp-marriage-therapy/) ## [Seven Reasons to Get Help For Your Marriage before it’s too late](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/marriagehelp-marriage-therapy/) March 26, 2012 By [Amy Fuller PhD](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/dramyfuller/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Why-your-Partner-Wont-Have-Sex-with-You-scaled-1024x692.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/partner-wont-sex/) ## [Why your Partner Won’t Have Sex with You](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/partner-wont-sex/) August 8, 2017 By [Manet Castaneda](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) [![marriage counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/couple-ontake-canstockphoto42159405-1024x684.jpg "marriage counseling")](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/)Find respect for yourself again through marriage counseling ## **Choosing Top-notch Marriage Counseling in Houston** An astute marriage counselor employs a holistic strategy, often informed by systems theory, to analyze and understand the complete picture of your marriage’s dynamics. This enables both partners to acknowledge and modify behaviors that may be contributing to discord. [Request an Appoinment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## How does marriage counseling work? ### What is addressed in marriage counseling? Therapy is personalized, addressing each couple’s individual circumstances. Issues often revolve around communication barriers, loyalty, intimacy, parenting, financial matters, or family relations. The essence of therapy often lies in unraveling the underlying viewpoints of these issues. ### How do get free marriage counseling in Houston? Finding budget-friendly counseling services can seem daunting, but there are options available through therapists offering services based on a sliding fee model related to your income. For more information about Fuller Life’s sliding fee scale, click [here](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees"). ### Is online marriage counseling worth it? Many may have a preference for face-to-face interaction, yet online counseling has been shown to be just as potent for couples who are engaged in the process. Research has confirmed the value of virtual sessions, and telehealth introduces more manageable scheduling and the opportunity to connect with a counselor from any location. ### Can I use insurance for marriage counseling? Your insurance plan may cover counseling services, including marriage counseling. With out-of-network benefits, you’re empowered to choose your counselor and manage the billing process, or alternatively, select a therapist affiliated with your insurance provider. Fuller Life features a team of marriage counselors who work with a variety of insurance plans. ## Read our articles about Healthy Couple Relationships [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Couples-counseling-e1391257005141.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/secure-attachment/) ## [Lean On Me, It’s Good for Your Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/secure-attachment/) [Read More Lean On Me, It’s Good for Your Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/secure-attachment/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Video-Chat-e1368057628534.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-creating-technology-balance/) ## [Healing Practices: Creating Technology Balance](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-creating-technology-balance/) [Read More Healing Practices: Creating Technology Balance](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-creating-technology-balance/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Choices-e1391256493745.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/decisions-choices/) ## [Trust Your Choices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/decisions-choices/) [Read More Trust Your Choices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/decisions-choices/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/lenses-e1364239543758.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/what-i-made-up-in-my-mind/) ## [What I Made Up In My Mind](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/what-i-made-up-in-my-mind/) [Read More What I Made Up In My Mind](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/what-i-made-up-in-my-mind/) [![me before you](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/life-saver-canstockphoto5512456-1-e1544038553974.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/me-before-you-relationship/) ## [Me Before You: What kind of relationship do you have?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/me-before-you-relationship/) [Read More Me Before You: What kind of relationship do you have?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/me-before-you-relationship/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Couples-Counseling-810x1024.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/couples-intimacy/) ## [Intimacy – One Step at a Time](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/couples-intimacy/) [Read More Intimacy – One Step at a Time](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/couples-intimacy/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/canstockphoto15167808.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/hidden-grief/) ## [Hidden Grief](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/hidden-grief/) [Read More Hidden Grief](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/hidden-grief/) [![resolutions Houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/224529_10101033099028140_7241531_n-e1389749724187.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resolutions-with-staying-power/) ## [Resolutions With Staying Power](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resolutions-with-staying-power/) [Read More Resolutions With Staying Power](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resolutions-with-staying-power/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/canstockphoto15026803-e1444930572824.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/communication-do-the-words-you-choose-determine-the-response-you-get/) ## [Communication: Do the Words You Choose Determine the Response You Get?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/communication-do-the-words-you-choose-determine-the-response-you-get/) [Read More Communication: Do the Words You Choose Determine the Response You Get?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/communication-do-the-words-you-choose-determine-the-response-you-get/) --- ### [Marriage Therapy in Houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/marriage-therapy-in-houston/) **Published:** January 6, 2024 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** What you need to know about# MARRIAGE THERAPY ## When seeking a specialist is key to fostering a healthy marriage [Learn More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/) --- ## *When you’re ready to change your relationship, marriage therapy is the ideal starting point* ## **What is Marriage Therapy?** Marriage therapy provides a structured environment for partners, guided by a skilled therapist, to fortify their marital bond, heal the relationship, and grow together. ## **What to expect from Marriage Therapy** Prepare to collaborate with a therapist and your partner to individually and jointly explore pathways for growth, deconstruct areas of conflict, and envision your ideal partnership. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## “Real change happens when we confront the truth about ourselves and have the courage to do something about it.” Irvin Yalom, *The Gift of Therapy* ## Are you ready for marriage therapy? ## Tools for your Marriage Right Now When small problems are ignored, they can grow into big challenges. Starting therapy early helps build the relationship you’ve always wanted. Check out our articles for insights on common marital issues. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Couple-with-jigsaw-puzzle-e1369144982405.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/do-all-healthy-couples-fight/) ## [Do all healthy couples fight?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/do-all-healthy-couples-fight/) May 16, 2013 By [Scott Rampy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) [![couple in bed](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Screenshot-2017-02-13-05.20.03-e1487047848922.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/get-better-sex-get-better-life/) ## [Get Better at Sex and Get Better at Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/get-better-sex-get-better-life/) January 7, 2017 By [Manet Castaneda](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/canstockphoto23371956-1.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/talking-after-infidelity/) ## [Infidelity: the natural disaster you can talk about](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/talking-after-infidelity/) December 16, 2015 By [Angela Blocker](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/canstockphoto4191474-e1354308397313.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-men-and-women-perceive-negative-emotions-differently-good-news-about-empathy-part-2/) ## [How men and women perceive negative emotions differently: Good news about Empathy, Part 2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-men-and-women-perceive-negative-emotions-differently-good-news-about-empathy-part-2/) October 23, 2012 By [Amy Fuller PhD](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/dramyfuller/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/marriage-problems-e1332290386508.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/marriagehelp-marriage-therapy/) ## [Seven Reasons to Get Help For Your Marriage before it’s too late](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/marriagehelp-marriage-therapy/) March 26, 2012 By [Amy Fuller PhD](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/dramyfuller/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Why-your-Partner-Wont-Have-Sex-with-You-scaled-1024x692.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/partner-wont-sex/) ## [Why your Partner Won’t Have Sex with You](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/partner-wont-sex/) August 8, 2017 By [Manet Castaneda](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/couple-ontake-canstockphoto42159405-1024x684.jpg) Find respect for yourself again through marriage therapy ## Finding the best marriage therapy in Houston. A proficient marriage therapist will adopt a balanced approach, grounded in systems theory, to holistically consider your partnership’s dynamics. This approach facilitates both partners in identifying their own impact on interaction patterns, especially those that may be causing strife. [Request an Appoinment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## What happens in marriage therapy? ### What issues are addressed in marriage therapy? Each couple’s journey is distinct, with therapy being adapted to meet their specific relational needs. Common concerns include navigating through communication hurdles, fidelity issues, sexual intimacy concerns, parenting, financial stress, or familial conflicts. Typically, the therapeutic process initiates with deconstructing the foundational perspectives of these concerns. ### How do get free marriage therapy in Houston? Securing affordable therapy options is often challenging, yet attainable through therapists who offer adjustable fee scales based on income. Explore Fuller Life’s financial options for therapy [here](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees"). ### Is online marriage therapy worth it? While traditional in-person sessions are preferred by many, the efficiency of online therapy stands on par when couples are committed to the process. Research supports the effectiveness of virtual therapy, and telehealth offers greater scheduling flexibility and access to therapists, regardless of location. ### Can I use insurance for online marriage therapy? Your insurance most likely will assist in the cost of sessions for marriage therapy. With out-of-network benefits, you have the liberty to select a therapist of your choice, handle the claim process independently, or you can locate a therapist within your insurance network. Fuller Life boasts a roster of marriage therapists who are compatible with various insurance plans. ## Read our articles about Healthy Couple Relationships [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/brains-460x3071.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/great-news-about-empathy/) ## [Great News about Empathy: New research shows effort matters more than getting it right](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/great-news-about-empathy/) [Read More Great News about Empathy: New research shows effort matters more than getting it right](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/great-news-about-empathy/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/couple-watching-tv.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-your-screen-time-depressing/) ## [Is your screen time depressing?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-your-screen-time-depressing/) [Read More Is your screen time depressing?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-your-screen-time-depressing/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Engagement-Pic.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/premarital-therapy-for-a-holly-jolly-relationship/) ## [Premarital Therapy: For a Holly Jolly Relationship](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/premarital-therapy-for-a-holly-jolly-relationship/) [Read More Premarital Therapy: For a Holly Jolly Relationship](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/premarital-therapy-for-a-holly-jolly-relationship/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Why-your-Partner-Wont-Have-Sex-with-You-scaled-1024x692.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/partner-wont-sex/) ## [Why your Partner Won’t Have Sex with You](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/partner-wont-sex/) [Read More Why your Partner Won’t Have Sex with You](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/partner-wont-sex/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/canstockphoto17944160-e1531336412485.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/baby-makes-three/) ## [Baby Makes Three: Moving from Couple to Family](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/baby-makes-three/) [Read More Baby Makes Three: Moving from Couple to Family](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/baby-makes-three/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/Screenshot-2015-09-09-23.12.18-1024x577.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/marriage-family-therapy/) ## [The Unique Approach of Marriage and Family Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/marriage-family-therapy/) [Read More The Unique Approach of Marriage and Family Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/marriage-family-therapy/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/canstockphoto4191474-e1354308397313.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-men-and-women-perceive-negative-emotions-differently-good-news-about-empathy-part-2/) ## [How men and women perceive negative emotions differently: Good news about Empathy, Part 2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-men-and-women-perceive-negative-emotions-differently-good-news-about-empathy-part-2/) [Read More How men and women perceive negative emotions differently: Good news about Empathy, Part 2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-men-and-women-perceive-negative-emotions-differently-good-news-about-empathy-part-2/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/31340371_28530368_trimmed.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/building-relationships/) ## [Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate, Part 1](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/building-relationships/) [Read More Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate, Part 1](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/building-relationships/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/heart-hands-e1424966225430.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-control-what-do-i-do-with-guilt/) ## [Self-Control: What do I do with Guilt?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-control-what-do-i-do-with-guilt/) [Read More Self-Control: What do I do with Guilt?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-control-what-do-i-do-with-guilt/) --- ### [Couples Therapy in Houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/couples-therapy-in-houston/) **Published:** December 13, 2023 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** What you need to know about# COUPLES THERAPY ## When you need a professional to develop a thriving marriage [Learn More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/) --- ## *When you are ready to change your relationship, couples therapy can make all the difference.* ## **What is Couples Therapy?** Couples therapy is a form of relationship counseling where a qualified therapist helps you and your partner improve your relationship. ## **What to expect from Couples Therapy** Expect to meet with the therapist with your partner and address the ways you each want to change individually and how you would like the relationship to be different. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## “Real change happens when we confront the truth about ourselves and have the courage to do something about it.” Irvin Yalom, *The Gift of Therapy* ## Are you ready for couples therapy? ## Help for your Couples Relationship Right Now Many couples feel like their problems are not significant enough for couples counseling, but most couples come six years too late. The sooner you start the sooner you can begin growing the kind of relationship you desire. The articles to the right are professional articles written by our therapists about issues couples commonly face. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Couple-with-jigsaw-puzzle-e1369144982405.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/do-all-healthy-couples-fight/) ## [Do all healthy couples fight?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/do-all-healthy-couples-fight/) May 16, 2013 By [Scott Rampy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/scott-rampy/) [![couple in bed](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Screenshot-2017-02-13-05.20.03-e1487047848922.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/get-better-sex-get-better-life/) ## [Get Better at Sex and Get Better at Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/get-better-sex-get-better-life/) January 7, 2017 By [Manet Castaneda](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/canstockphoto23371956-1.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/talking-after-infidelity/) ## [Infidelity: the natural disaster you can talk about](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/talking-after-infidelity/) December 16, 2015 By [Angela Blocker](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/angelaeblocker/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/canstockphoto4191474-e1354308397313.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-men-and-women-perceive-negative-emotions-differently-good-news-about-empathy-part-2/) ## [How men and women perceive negative emotions differently: Good news about Empathy, Part 2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-men-and-women-perceive-negative-emotions-differently-good-news-about-empathy-part-2/) October 23, 2012 By [Amy Fuller PhD](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/dramyfuller/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/marriage-problems-e1332290386508.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/marriagehelp-marriage-therapy/) ## [Seven Reasons to Get Help For Your Marriage before it’s too late](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/marriagehelp-marriage-therapy/) March 26, 2012 By [Amy Fuller PhD](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/dramyfuller/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Why-your-Partner-Wont-Have-Sex-with-You-scaled-1024x692.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/partner-wont-sex/) ## [Why your Partner Won’t Have Sex with You](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/partner-wont-sex/) August 8, 2017 By [Manet Castaneda](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/manet-castaneda/) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/couple-ontake-canstockphoto42159405-1024x684.jpg) Find respect for yourself again through couples therapy ## Finding the best in couples therapy in Houston. A good couples therapist will have a balanced approach. Ideally, the therapist has training in systems theory and will look at the relationship dynamics as a whole, helping the couple identify their individual contributions to the patterns of interaction that have become problematic. [Request an Appoinment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## How does couple’s therapy work? ### What do couples talk about in therapy? This depends a lot on what the presenting concern is for each couple since couples work is customized to address the unique concerns of the couple. Couples typically present with concerns about communication, extramarital affairs, sexual difficulties, and difficulties with kids, sex, money or family. Oftentimes, the presenting concern is just the start and the solution lies in unpacking the view of the problem. ### How do get free couples therapy in Houston? Finding free therapy for couples is challenging, but you can find therapists who use a sliding scale that is determined by your income. Learn more about the sliding scale used by Fuller Life [here](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/ "About our fees"). ### Is Online Couples Therapy worth it? While most people prefer to do therapy in person, online therapy works just as well IF the couple is ready to do the work. Research has shown the efficacy of tele-therapy to be as effective as in-person therapy. In many ways, telehealth can make therapy more doable with scheduling flexibility and the ability to see a therapist who doesn’t office nearby. ### Can I use insurance for online couples therapy? If you have insurance, it may cover family therapy or couples therapy. If you have out-of-network benefits for family therapy (90847) you can choose your therapist and file it yourself or you can find an in-network therapist with your insurance. Fuller Life has therapists who provide couples therapy and are in network. ## Read our articles about Healthy Couple Relationships [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/canstockphoto9052609.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/feel-the-fire-embracing-conflict/) ## [Feel the Fire: Embracing Conflict](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/feel-the-fire-embracing-conflict/) [Read More Feel the Fire: Embracing Conflict](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/feel-the-fire-embracing-conflict/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/canstockphoto4191474-e1354308397313.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/getting-together-building-relationships-as-we-negotiate-part-3/) ## [Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate: Part 3](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/getting-together-building-relationships-as-we-negotiate-part-3/) [Read More Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate: Part 3](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/getting-together-building-relationships-as-we-negotiate-part-3/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/valentines-e1360815035273.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/valentines-day-emergency/) ## [Valentine’s Day Emergency!](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/valentines-day-emergency/) [Read More Valentine’s Day Emergency!](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/valentines-day-emergency/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Sleep.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-permission-to-sleep/) ## [Healing Practices: Permission to Sleep](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-permission-to-sleep/) [Read More Healing Practices: Permission to Sleep](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-permission-to-sleep/) [![couple in bed](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Screenshot-2017-02-13-05.20.03-e1487047848922.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/get-better-sex-get-better-life/) ## [Get Better at Sex and Get Better at Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/get-better-sex-get-better-life/) [Read More Get Better at Sex and Get Better at Life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/get-better-sex-get-better-life/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/canstockphoto53533449-scaled-1024x683.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/real-talk-talk-partner-porn/) ## [Real Talk: Should you Talk with Your Partner about Porn?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/real-talk-talk-partner-porn/) [Read More Real Talk: Should you Talk with Your Partner about Porn?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/real-talk-talk-partner-porn/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Couples-counseling-e1391257005141.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/writing-a-happy-ending/) ## [Writing a Happy Ending](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/writing-a-happy-ending/) [Read More Writing a Happy Ending](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/writing-a-happy-ending/) --- ### [Couples Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/) **Published:** March 14, 2012 **Author:** FullerLife **Content:** - - - - # Couples Therapy ## Offered in person in Houston and virtually in Texas. [Request an appointment today](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## Couples therapy can… ### change your relationship ### help you address concerns instead of avoiding them ### find respect for yourself again ### rekindle romance and sexuality Couples therapy is more than communication training, through powerful techniques and strategies, couples find both the strength to create a healthy relationship and to grow as individuals in the process. Most couples who find their relationship on the rocks carry around a lot of hurt which can be addressed and healed in the right therapeutic environment. [Request an appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) Typical areas of focus include the following: - pre-marital - Resolving infidelity - Developing healthy patterns of interaction - intimacy or sexual issues - blended family issues - parenting concerns - conflict resolution - divorce or separation Ready to get started? ## Want to know more? Fill out the appointment request and one of our team members will get back to you asap. [Request an appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Fuller-life-team-color-2021.png) ##### Our Therapists Our team is culturally sensitive and compassionate. [Meet our therapists](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/FULLER-LIFE-WEST-AND-LOOP-MAP-IMAGE.png) ##### Our Locations Two locations in Houston or virtually in the state of Texas. [Where we are](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/qtq80-6Qskhy.jpeg) ##### Our Fees As a 501c3 Nonprofit, we make sure everyone can afford counseling. [About our fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ## Read our articles about [***Resilient Relationships:***](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resilient-relationships/) No posts # Read more about [***Resilient Relationships***](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resilient-relationships/) # Read our curated articles about [Sex and intimacy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/growing-kids-teens/) --- ### [Elisa Squier, M.MFT, LMFT](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/elisasquier/) **Published:** March 22, 2018 **Author:** FullerLife **Content:** My name is Elisa Squier and I strongly believe in the work that I do. I believe that everybody deserves a space in which they are able to voice their greatest fears, hurts, and joys. I am dedicated to my clients and believe in their inherent ability to change. I have experience working with a wide variety of clientele, including couples, families, and individuals of all ages. I will work with my clients as much and as in-depth as they are willing to go to provide the best possible therapeutic experience. I received my Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy from Abilene Christian University. I am also a certified premarital facilitator through Prepare-Enrich and offer premarital counseling to couples. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. [![elisa square](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Elisa-Headshot-1-e1631323203324.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Elisa-Headshot-1-e1631323203324.jpg) [See Elisa at the Connections Family Center in Houston](https://connectionsfamilycenter.com/elisa-squier/) Read articles by Elisa: [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Engagement-Pic-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/premarital-therapy-for-a-holly-jolly-relationship/)#### [Premarital Therapy: For a Holly Jolly Relationship](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/premarital-therapy-for-a-holly-jolly-relationship/) It’s that time of year. The weather is getting cooler, the holidays are approaching, and for many that means taking ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/premarital-therapy-for-a-holly-jolly-relationship/) [![teletherapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Teletherapy-300x199.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/what-to-know-about-teletherapy/)#### [What to know about teletherapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/what-to-know-about-teletherapy/) In this age of ever-growing uses of technology, many medical groups are adding telehealth into their practices. Doctors have started ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/what-to-know-about-teletherapy/) [![teen moms and mental health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Sad-mother-cropped-300x226.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/unlocking-signs-secrets-to-baby-blues/)#### [Unlocking the Signs and Secrets to the Baby Blues](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/unlocking-signs-secrets-to-baby-blues/) A woman’s identity changes when she becomes a mother. She starts to become known as so-and-so’s mom. People want to ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/unlocking-signs-secrets-to-baby-blues/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/canstockphoto44646393-1-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/school-success/)#### [Simple Skills for School Success](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/school-success/) Summer is coming to a close, which for families means one thing: school is back in session. No more sleeping ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/school-success/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/canstockphoto17944160-e1531336412485-300x217.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/baby-makes-three/)#### [Baby Makes Three: Moving from Couple to Family](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/baby-makes-three/) A new baby can be a time for great celebration, but it can also be a terrifying and stressful experience ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/baby-makes-three/) --- ### [Natasha Paradeshi, Interim Executive Director](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/natasha-paradeshi/) **Published:** September 12, 2023 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** ## Natasha Paradeshi ###### Interim Executive Director Natasha Paradeshi longs for the vulnerable to get the services they need to survive and then live purposeful lives. Her experience as a Co-founder, former Executive Director, and Board Chair of [The Landing](https://thelanding.org), an anti-human trafficking nonprofit which grew to over a $1 million budget in its first five years, gives her a unique perspective in helping nonprofits grow. She is a Co-founder of [Solace Media](https://solace.media), a marketing agency passionate about helping mission-driven organizations make a bigger impact through strategic marketing and storytelling through websites, branding, and videography. As a Certified StoryBrand Guide, she focuses on helping organizations clarify their messaging through effective and ethical storytelling. ![Natasha Paradeshi](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/Natasha-Paradeshi-headshot-2023-large-1024x1024.jpeg)Natasha Paradeshi, Interim Executive Director # *“Anxiety and mental health challenges are at a high but access to stellar and affordable therapy is such a gap. Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute is stepping in to meet that need but just needs some support to become more sustainable and grow its brand awareness. I’m excited to come alongside the incredible work already being done and help set FLFTI up for long-term growth and success!* # *” –* Natasha Paradeshi With 15 years of experience working with nonprofits, she is passionate about organizations getting the funding they need to fulfill their missions and is thrilled about using her expertise to help Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute grow. Due to family experiences, access to quality affordable therapy is an issue that is meaningful to her. Alongside her sister ,Natasha is producing a feature-length documentary about obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), which shares the stories of two individuals who live with lesser-known types of OCD. Natasha graduated from the University of Southern California with a Master in Public Policy degree and from the University of Texas with a double major in Marketing and Spanish. She enjoys spending focused time with her husband, Sunny, and their two children. She loves a good workout and one day hopes to complete an Ironman. Or at least a half! --- ### [Dr. Chantail Green LPC, Clinical Therapist](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/chantailgreen/) **Published:** December 11, 2020 **Author:** Dr. Chantail Green **Content:** I ## Dr. Chantail Green LPC ###### Clinical Therapist Hello! My name is Chantail Green and I am a Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in sex therap[y](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/). I practice in the states of Texas and Louisiana. I desire to facilitate healthy relationships mentally, spiritually, and intimately. I hold a doctorate in professional counseling from the Houston Graduate School of Theology with a specialization in sex and sexuality, a Master of Arts degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from the University of Houston Clear Lake, and a Bachelor of Science degree in Interdisciplinary Studies in Early Education and Special Education. I transitioned to professional counseling when I saw the family unit’s needs within the school system. As a humble member of this great profession, my desire is to help people develop hope for their lives and build on that foundation. I provide virtual individual, couples, and family therapy. I accept several insurance plans as an in-network provider. ![Chantail Green](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Chantail-Green-FL-Headshot-e1630912730614-edited.jpg)Chantail Green, LPC, Clinical Therapist [Request an Appointment with Chantail Green LPC](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=101) Hope flows from the inside out. Problems come in all different sizes and they could appear as little foxes disrupting your life or Goliaths that are overwhelming; therefore, talk therapy is essential. Therapy offers a space to talk and figure out a beneficial plan for you and your family. Together we develop a therapeutic alliance to allow hope to flow, finding new solutions and possibilities. As a Therapist at the Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, I look forward to working together diligently to bring understanding and healing from the inside out. Thank you in advance for the opportunity to work with you. # *“Let your hope, not your hurts, shape your future.” -Robert Schuller* # *“Hope says you are loved, you have a purpose, you belong, you have a choice, and you are needed!” – Chantail Green* I am available from 9 am to 5 pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays for telehealth therapy. To schedule an appointment please contact me by email at , by phone at [(832) 685-2018](tel:+18326852018) or through my [webform.](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=101) [Request an Appointment with Chantail Green LPC](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=101) ## Read articles by Chantail Green: [![foreplay 101](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/canstockphoto17647915-2-1.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/foreplay-101-what-to-know-to-get-the-juices-flowing/) [Couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/couples-therapy/) | [Intimacy & Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/intimacy-sex-therapy/) | [Marriage](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/marriage-counseling/) | [Sexual Education](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/sexual-education/) ## [Foreplay 101: What to Know to Get the Juices Flowing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/foreplay-101-what-to-know-to-get-the-juices-flowing/) By [Dr. Chantail Green](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/chantail-green/) Foreplay is the erotic stimulation of the mind, body, and soul before sexual intercourse. Foreplay is not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am sexual encounter, quick sex without affection. Sex play enhances and provides sexual arousal, which could lead to orgasm. [Read More Foreplay 101: What to Know to Get the Juices Flowing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/foreplay-101-what-to-know-to-get-the-juices-flowing/) [![Beautiful Black Woman](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/qtq80-sTeu5b-1024x683.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-orgasm-gap-and-what-it-means-for-women/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/couples-therapy/) | [Intimacy & Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/intimacy-sex-therapy/) | [Marriage](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/marriage-counseling/) | [Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/) | [Sexual Education](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/sexual-education/) ## [The Orgasm Gap and What it Means for Women](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-orgasm-gap-and-what-it-means-for-women/) By [Dr. Chantail Green](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/chantail-green/) Dr. Laurie Mintz coined the term Orgasm Gap to identify the fact that heterosexual men have many more orgasms than heterosexual women.[Read More The Orgasm Gap and What it Means for Women](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-orgasm-gap-and-what-it-means-for-women/) [![Confident Black Woman](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/canstockphoto35889285-1024x705.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-positivity-black-female-sexual-expression-is-not-hypersexual-or-shameful/) [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) ## [Sex Positivity: Black Female Sexual Expression is Not Hypersexual or Shameful](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-positivity-black-female-sexual-expression-is-not-hypersexual-or-shameful/) By [Dr. Chantail Green](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/chantail-green/) Sex-positivity is an open and nonjudgmental approach to embracing the diversity of sexual expression and sex health.[Read More Sex Positivity: Black Female Sexual Expression is Not Hypersexual or Shameful](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-positivity-black-female-sexual-expression-is-not-hypersexual-or-shameful/) --- ### [Lindsay Perry, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/lindsayperry/) **Published:** August 3, 2018 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LINDSAY-PERRY-HEADSHOT-1-e1631302384595-300x300.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/LINDSAY-PERRY-HEADSHOT-1-e1631302384595.png) Maybe you feel lost. Maybe you feel stuck. Maybe you just want a space to figure out what’s going on in your head or in your life. Life can be difficult to navigate, and whatever your experience is, you don’t have to go it alone. My name is Lindsay, and as a therapist, I provide an open space to help individuals and couples work through what holds them back. I believe in the human capacity to grow and move beyond various challenges we face. The path to healing and wellness is paved with curiosity and compassion, and it is an honor to journey with my clients and be a witness to their growth. If you’re struggling and want a helping hand, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I have experience working with anxiety, depression, anger issues, relationship issues, issues in adjusting to life circumstances, self-esteem issues, family issues, and trauma. I have earned my Master’s Degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from the University of New Orleans, and I am a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice in Houston. [Grounded in truth counseling](https://www.groundedintruthcounseling.com/) ## Read articles by Lindsay Perry, LPC [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/CPTSD-blog-feature-photo-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/when-trauma-has-been-the-norm-about-cpts/)#### [When trauma is “the norm”: About CPTSD](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/when-trauma-has-been-the-norm-about-cpts/) [![Vicarious Trauma](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/canstockphoto23073220-e1590080791471-300x199.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/vicarious-trauma/)#### [Vicarious trauma: When we feel the pain of someone else’s trauma](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/vicarious-trauma/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/canstockphoto8452676-e1566422238582-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-eating-2/)#### [Enjoy the foods you love AND be healthy: Mindful eating](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-eating-2/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/canstockphoto64640444-2-e1552603376853-300x199.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/weighing-in-shame-vs-the-scale/)#### [Weighing In: Shame vs the Scale](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/weighing-in-shame-vs-the-scale/) [![me before you](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/life-saver-canstockphoto5512456-1-e1544038553974-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/me-before-you-relationship/)#### [Me Before You: What kind of relationship do you have?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/me-before-you-relationship/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/canstockphoto12790482-300x186.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout-boundaries/)#### [Burnout & Boundaries: Knowing when enough is enough](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout-boundaries/) --- ### [Angela E. Blocker, LMFT](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/angela/) **Published:** August 27, 2015 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** [![Angela Fl headshot square](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Angela-Blocker-LMFT-e1631303162413.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Angela-Blocker-LMFT-e1631303162413.png) It’s a pleasure to meet and work with individuals, couples, and families dedicated to enhancing their lives. I bring a compassionate growth-oriented approach to each individual, couple, or family and collaborates with them to create fresh perspectives on current problems. I enjoy identifying their natural strengths and help them use them to overcome their situations. With a sincere and genuine approach to treatment, I walk alongside you to a life that is hopeful, authentic, and reflective of your values. Although I see individuals, families, and couples at a low point in their lives to start, I work hard with them to find the skills and strength needed to persevere and make their lives the fulfilling ones they desire. I hold a Masters of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy from Wheaton College and I am a graduate of the Fuller Life Family Therapy Insititute Resident Program. My areas of special interest include [adolescent therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/teen/), [marriage counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/marriage-counseling/), and treating [families in transition](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/divorce/). [Briargrove Family Counseling Center](https://www.briargrovefamilycounselingcenter.com/about) ## Read articles written by Angela when she was a resident at Fuller Life: [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Untitled-design-e1607731183865-300x194.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/teletherapy-is-it-right-for-me/)#### [Teletherapy, Is It Right For Me?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/teletherapy-is-it-right-for-me/) Since the outbreak of COVID19, many healthcare professionals have switched to telehealth platforms, including counselors and therapists! Called Telemental health ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/teletherapy-is-it-right-for-me/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/canstockphoto14339328-1-scaled-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout-2/)#### [A Growth Mindset Can Prevent Burn Out!](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout-2/) This month, Fuller Life connected with first year pre-med students at Prairie View A&M University to discuss how to avoid ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout-2/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Defensive-dance-couples-300x220.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/6293-2/)#### [Stopping the Defensiveness Dance in Your Relationship](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/6293-2/) Are you stuck in a relationship where both of you are very defensive? If so, you know moving closer is ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/6293-2/) [![parental house conflict](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/parental-conflict-house-split-open-canstockphoto40937807-2-300x219.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parents-conflict-fight/)#### [The Art of Parental Conflict: Tips for Arguing To Your Kids’ Benefit](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parents-conflict-fight/) Parental conflict is inevitable. It’s going to happen. There is also a clear link between interparental conflict and children’s behavioral ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parents-conflict-fight/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/think-300x225.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/3-solutions-for-women-who-overthink-everything/)#### [3 Solutions For Women Who Overthink Everything](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/3-solutions-for-women-who-overthink-everything/) Women love to think and, sometimes, overthink. In the 1990’s and early 2000’s, Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, Yale-educated expert psychologist studied mood, ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/3-solutions-for-women-who-overthink-everything/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Teen-moodiness-300x225.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/typical-teenage-mood-swings-or-borderline/)#### [Teen Moodiness & Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/typical-teenage-mood-swings-or-borderline/) In the movie, Thirteen, Tracy Freeland is a seventh-grade honor student with a troubling home life. As a girl who ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/typical-teenage-mood-swings-or-borderline/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Extended-familycanstockphoto1718903-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/what-strong-families-do-and-dont-do-to-cope/)#### [In Tough Times, What Sets Healthy Families Apart?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/what-strong-families-do-and-dont-do-to-cope/) Some families seem to float through tough times, while others struggle. When a person goes through hard times, it is ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/what-strong-families-do-and-dont-do-to-cope/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/PRactice-of-resilience-blog-image-e1494532535943-300x188.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/practice-resilience/)#### [The Practice of Resilience](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/practice-resilience/) Everyone reaches a point when moving forward seems impossible. You feel you’ve given your best in your marriage, with your ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/practice-resilience/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/single-latte-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-conformity-addictive/)#### [Is Conformity Addictive?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-conformity-addictive/) Even the best of us do it sometimes. Standing in a coffee shop trying out a new drink ordered by ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-conformity-addictive/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Screenshot-2017-01-28-13.50.21-e1486989529677-300x241.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/find-drugs-teens-room/)#### [You Find Drugs in Your Teen’s Room-Now What?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/find-drugs-teens-room/) When you believe your child is using drugs it is hard to know what to do. Whether you found out ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/find-drugs-teens-room/) --- ### [Before the first session](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/before-the-first-session/) **Published:** September 12, 2021 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** ![contact us fuller life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/contact-canstockphoto15905610-1024x683.jpg) ## 1. Contact The first step is to reach out to us. You can click the green contact us button to complete our [secure inquiry form](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91). A therapist will follow up with you within 2 business days. For faster scheduling please call 855-245-5433. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## 2. Connect Talk to one of our team members about your interest in therapy by phone. We’ll discuss the best options and answer any questions you may have. After an appointment is set, you will receive an email with confirmation and instructions on what to complete prior to the initial appointment. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/phone-canstockphoto6128395-984x1024.jpg) ## 3. Complete the initial session form and initial surveys Once you have scheduled, you will receive an email with a link to the forms to complete via our [client portal](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=97). From here you can set your own password, complete the initial session form, consent to treatment and financial agreement. Each person attending therapy needs to complete the confidential initial session form. If minors are attending, please complete one form for each child or adolescent. If you have any difficulty or do not receive the email please notify your therapist by calling 855-245-5433 or email . [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/survey-canstockphoto84575069-1024x683.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/survey-canstockphoto84575069.jpg) ### Why we use Feedback Informed Treatment In order to provide the best services possible, we track progress over the course of therapy using routine outcome measures, also called feedback informed treatment. Research has shown that using tools to track client progress in therapy doubles the likelihood of effective therapy and a meaningful outcome. The initial set of assessments may take between 20 to 30 minutes to complete, so please allow enough time to complete prior to the initial appointment. You will receive the link to the initial survey set in the initial email with a link to the portal documents. Prior to each session you will be asked to complete a brief survey set before the session. The survey link will be sent by email, SMS or both, according to your preference. Every 5th session we will ask you to complete a re-assessment of some of the initial surveys to measure your progress over time. If you ever have questions about our new Routine Outcome Measures process or would like to discuss the results, please discuss with your therapist. ## **4. READ OUR INFORMATION FOR NEW CLIENTS** Please read over privacy practices, social media, and communication policies at your convenience in our [information for new clients](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/New-Clients-Info-FL-2018.pdf). Privacy practices are also posted in our offices to make it easy for our clients to access at any time. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/door-canstockphoto12129501-1024x746.jpg) ## 5. Come in We are excited to join in your journey of addressing the things that seem overwhelming and journeying alongside you toward healing. . --- ### [Individual Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/individual-therapy/) **Published:** March 14, 2012 **Author:** FullerLife **Content:** - - - - - ## Individual Therapy ## in-person and online [Request an appointment today](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) - Turn the corner on depression - Learn to befriend anxiety - Heal from trauma - Confront addiction and live free - Develop better ways of functioning in relationships, work and managing stress Individual Counseling considers the unique person and situation. It fosters growth and healing to help clients reach their goals, improve relationships, create deeper peace, and experience greater joy in life. Each therapist on staff specializes in different areas to provide more tailored treatment to the individual. [Request an Appointment Today](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) Ready to get started? ## Want to know more? Fill out the appointment request and one of our team members will get back to you asap. [Request an appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Fuller-life-team-color-2021.png) ##### Our Therapists Our team is culturally sensitive and compassionate. [Meet our therapists](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/FULLER-LIFE-WEST-AND-LOOP-MAP-IMAGE.png) ##### Our Locations Two locations in Houston or virtually in the state of Texas. [Where we are](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/qtq80-6Qskhy.jpeg) ##### Our Fees As a 501c3 Nonprofit, we make sure everyone can afford counseling. [About our fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ## Read articles about Anger Management No posts ## Read articles about Befriending Anxiety - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/canstockphoto24429978-scaled-1024x683.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-time-crisis/) ## [Self-Care in the Time of Crisis](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-time-crisis/) [Read More Self-Care in the Time of Crisis](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-time-crisis/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Holiday-Blues-image.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/beating-the-holiday-blues/) ## [Fa-la-la-la-blah! Beating the Holiday Blues](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/beating-the-holiday-blues/) [Read More Fa-la-la-la-blah! Beating the Holiday Blues](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/beating-the-holiday-blues/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/canstockphoto17632279-scaled-1024x575.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/do-you-talk-dirty-to-yourself/) ## [Do You Talk Dirty to Yourself?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/do-you-talk-dirty-to-yourself/) [Read More Do You Talk Dirty to Yourself?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/do-you-talk-dirty-to-yourself/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/think.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/3-solutions-for-women-who-overthink-everything/) ## [3 Solutions For Women Who Overthink Everything](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/3-solutions-for-women-who-overthink-everything/) [Read More 3 Solutions For Women Who Overthink Everything](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/3-solutions-for-women-who-overthink-everything/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/canstockphoto35406796.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mess-stress-the-science-behind-your-clutter/) ## [Mess & Stress: The Science Behind Your Clutter](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mess-stress-the-science-behind-your-clutter/) [Read More Mess & Stress: The Science Behind Your Clutter](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mess-stress-the-science-behind-your-clutter/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/canstockphoto16014857-e1492020104966.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-talk-anxiety/) ## [How Samantha Used Self-Talk to Turn Her Anxiety Around](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-talk-anxiety/) [Read More How Samantha Used Self-Talk to Turn Her Anxiety Around](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-talk-anxiety/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Screenshot-2017-02-13-05.09.08-e1488656450479.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/secret-life-introvert/) ## [The Secret Life of the Introvert](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/secret-life-introvert/) [Read More The Secret Life of the Introvert](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/secret-life-introvert/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/canstockphoto11749494-1.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/waiting/) ## [The Waiting Game: How To Play It Well](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/waiting/) [Read More The Waiting Game: How To Play It Well](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/waiting/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/fire-image-conflict.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/inner-conflict-refining-fire/) ## [Inner Conflict: The Refining Fire](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/inner-conflict-refining-fire/) [Read More Inner Conflict: The Refining Fire](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/inner-conflict-refining-fire/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/canstockphoto2191074.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/7-mistakes-discomfort-zone-costing-growth/) ## [7 Mistakes You Make in Your Discomfort Zone that Limit Your Growth and How to Stop Making Them](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/7-mistakes-discomfort-zone-costing-growth/) [Read More 7 Mistakes You Make in Your Discomfort Zone that Limit Your Growth and How to Stop Making Them](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/7-mistakes-discomfort-zone-costing-growth/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/creative-mindfulness.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/add-flavor-to-mindfulness-with-color-and-music/) ## [Add Flavor to Mindfulness with Color and Music?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/add-flavor-to-mindfulness-with-color-and-music/) [Read More Add Flavor to Mindfulness with Color and Music?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/add-flavor-to-mindfulness-with-color-and-music/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/canstockphoto13202286-e1421340588716.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/failure/) ## [Could Failure Be the Pathway to Success?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/failure/) [Read More Could Failure Be the Pathway to Success?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/failure/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/photo-1-e1395185574248.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/perfection/) ## [Perfectionville: Population Zero](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/perfection/) [Read More Perfectionville: Population Zero](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/perfection/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/wreath-e1386119177536.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/meaningfulholiday/) ## [Five Simple Steps to a Meaningful Holiday Season](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/meaningfulholiday/) [Read More Five Simple Steps to a Meaningful Holiday Season](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/meaningfulholiday/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/5178188751_4b09d82538_z.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-power-of-gratitude/) ## [The Power of Positive Emotions](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-power-of-gratitude/) [Read More The Power of Positive Emotions](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-power-of-gratitude/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/canstockphoto1606279.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sticking-together-through-transitions/) ## [Sticking Together through Transitions](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sticking-together-through-transitions/) [Read More Sticking Together through Transitions](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sticking-together-through-transitions/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/2834262346_4f3fcb6d1e_z.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/calm-in-houston-traffic/) ## [Calm in Houston Traffic](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/calm-in-houston-traffic/) [Read More Calm in Houston Traffic](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/calm-in-houston-traffic/) - 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Mindfulness for Kids and Adults Alike](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/whats-the-weather-like-inside-you-mindfulness-for-kids-and-adults-alike/) [Read More What’s the Weather Like Inside You? Mindfulness for Kids and Adults Alike](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/whats-the-weather-like-inside-you-mindfulness-for-kids-and-adults-alike/) - [![Self-care in houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Self-Love--scaled-1024x683.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-often-do-you-care-for-yourself/) ## [How Often do you Care for Yourself?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-often-do-you-care-for-yourself/) [Read More How Often do you Care for Yourself?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-often-do-you-care-for-yourself/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/canstockphoto12790482.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout-boundaries/) ## [Burnout & Boundaries: Knowing when enough is enough](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout-boundaries/) [Read More Burnout & Boundaries: Knowing when enough is enough](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout-boundaries/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/canstockphoto19996699-6-e1532389361662.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/me-myself-and-i/) ## [Me, Myself, and I](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/me-myself-and-i/) [Read More Me, Myself, and I](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/me-myself-and-i/) - 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[![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/PRactice-of-resilience-blog-image-e1494532535943.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/practice-resilience/) ## [The Practice of Resilience](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/practice-resilience/) [Read More The Practice of Resilience](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/practice-resilience/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/single-latte.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-conformity-addictive/) ## [Is Conformity Addictive?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-conformity-addictive/) [Read More Is Conformity Addictive?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-conformity-addictive/) - [![core value](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/values.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-value-of-your-values/) ## [The Value of Your Values](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-value-of-your-values/) [Read More The Value of Your Values](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-value-of-your-values/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/salt-pepper-puzzle.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/personal-growth-for-interpersonal-relationships/) ## [The Best Way To Save Your Relationship](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/personal-growth-for-interpersonal-relationships/) [Read More The Best Way To Save Your Relationship](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/personal-growth-for-interpersonal-relationships/) ## Read articles about Living free from addiction - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Screenshot-2017-01-28-13.50.21-e1486989529677.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/find-drugs-teens-room/) ## [You Find Drugs in Your Teen’s Room-Now What?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/find-drugs-teens-room/) [Read More You Find Drugs in Your Teen’s Room-Now What?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/find-drugs-teens-room/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/canstockphoto7718874.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4456-2/) ## [How Habits Can Make or Break Your Productivity](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4456-2/) [Read More How Habits Can Make or Break Your Productivity](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4456-2/) - [![self-control](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/man-with-hamburger-or-apple-e1430173447346.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-control-why-willpower-doesnt-work/) ## [Self-Control: Why Willpower Doesn’t Work](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-control-why-willpower-doesnt-work/) [Read More Self-Control: Why Willpower Doesn’t Work](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-control-why-willpower-doesnt-work/) ## Read articles about Mental Health - [![COMPASSION](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Three-hands-with-broken-heart-e1607730942822.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/when-african-americans-grieve/) ## [When African Americans Grieve](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/when-african-americans-grieve/) [Read More When African Americans Grieve](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/when-african-americans-grieve/) - [![teen moms and mental health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Sad-mother-cropped.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/unlocking-signs-secrets-to-baby-blues/) ## [Unlocking the Signs and Secrets to the Baby Blues](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/unlocking-signs-secrets-to-baby-blues/) [Read More Unlocking the Signs and Secrets to the Baby Blues](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/unlocking-signs-secrets-to-baby-blues/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/canstockphoto20073692.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/autism-spectrum-disorder-family/) ## [The Ripple Effects of Autism Spectrum Disorder on the Family](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/autism-spectrum-disorder-family/) [Read More The Ripple Effects of Autism Spectrum Disorder on the Family](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/autism-spectrum-disorder-family/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/postpartum-depresssion.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/baby-blues-gone-bad/) ## [Baby Blues Gone Bad](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/baby-blues-gone-bad/) [Read More Baby Blues Gone Bad](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/baby-blues-gone-bad/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/canstockphoto8287783.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/lessons-materialism-told-rock-n-roll-legends/) ## [Lessons on Materialism as Told by Rock ‘n’ Roll Legends](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/lessons-materialism-told-rock-n-roll-legends/) [Read More Lessons on Materialism as Told by Rock ‘n’ Roll Legends](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/lessons-materialism-told-rock-n-roll-legends/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/Winter-Blues-e1418334783937.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-it-okay-to-feel-sad-over-the-holidays/) ## [Is it Okay to Feel Sad Over the Holidays?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-it-okay-to-feel-sad-over-the-holidays/) [Read More Is it Okay to Feel Sad Over the Holidays?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-it-okay-to-feel-sad-over-the-holidays/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Happiness-e1355244989733.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/creating-happiness/) ## [Creating Happiness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/creating-happiness/) [Read More Creating Happiness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/creating-happiness/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Tree-in-palm1-e1365625581999.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-fuller-life-growth-happiness-hope/) ## [The “Fuller Life”…Reflections on Growth, Happiness and Hope](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-fuller-life-growth-happiness-hope/) [Read More The “Fuller Life”…Reflections on Growth, Happiness and Hope](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-fuller-life-growth-happiness-hope/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Chocolate-Therapy-e1391256868829.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/chocolate-therapy/) ## [Chocolate Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/chocolate-therapy/) [Read More Chocolate Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/chocolate-therapy/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/acceptance-counseling.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/acceptance-self-care/) ## [Be Who You Are and Say What You Feel](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/acceptance-self-care/) [Read More Be Who You Are and Say What You Feel](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/acceptance-self-care/) ## Read articles about Healing from grief and loss - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/canstockphoto27592738.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4627-2/) ## [How to Connect with Your Child When You Swear, He’s Lost it](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4627-2/) [Read More How to Connect with Your Child When You Swear, He’s Lost it](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/4627-2/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Self-Control-e1414531527750.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gratitude-builds-self-control/) ## [Gratitude Builds Self-Control](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gratitude-builds-self-control/) [Read More Gratitude Builds Self-Control](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gratitude-builds-self-control/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/canstockphoto13240733-e1403723670541.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/howtosaveourkids/) ## [The Shift We Need to Save Our Kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/howtosaveourkids/) [Read More The Shift We Need to Save Our Kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/howtosaveourkids/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Man-Breathing-e1402421666855.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/feel-overwhelmed-take-a-breath/) ## [Feel Overwhelmed? Try a Breathing Space Meditation](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/feel-overwhelmed-take-a-breath/) [Read More Feel Overwhelmed? Try a Breathing Space Meditation](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/feel-overwhelmed-take-a-breath/) - [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/canstockphoto20073692.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-stories/) ## [The Weather in Houston is \_\_\_\_\_: How the Stories We Tell Shape Perception](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-stories/) [Read More The Weather in Houston is \_\_\_\_\_: How the Stories We Tell Shape Perception](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-stories/) [Request an Appointment Today](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) --- --- ### [Therapy with teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/teen-counseling/) **Published:** March 24, 2012 **Author:** FullerLife **Content:** # Therapy with teens At Fuller Life, we recognize the transition between childhood and adulthood is full of challenges. Parents often feel lost about how to help their child in the midst of today’s changing youth. Teens feel alone, yet simultaneously desire independence as they navigate their developing identity amidst changing bodies, emotions and fears. At Fuller Life, we understand issues common for adolescents and how families can work best to come together to chart the best course possible. Some of the things we can help kids and their parents navigate include any number of situations from family difficulties, anxiety, depression, peer pressure at school, eating disorders, cutting behaviors, drug or alcohol use, school issues, abuse, mental illness, sexual activity, or other stressful situations. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/teen-canstockphoto89094807-scaled-e1630989903498-1024x1024.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/teen-canstockphoto89094807-scaled-e1630989903498.jpg) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Teen-Girl-e1630989438351-1024x1024.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Teen-Girl-e1630989438351.jpg)Adolescent and family counseling can help rebuild trust in families, teach effective communication and help to transition the relationships from parent to child toward being adult parent to adult child. Additionally, through proven strategies and interventions, adolescents can learn how to deal with emotions more effectively, identify unhelpful thinking patterns, choose new ways of thought that encourage self-respect and positive choices, and learn to eliminate self-destructive or inappropriate behaviors. At Fuller Life, we love working with teenagers and are here to help. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) Ready to get started? ## Want to know more? Fill out the appointment request and one of our team members will get back to you asap. [Request an appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Fuller-life-team-color-2021.png) ##### Our Therapists Our team is culturally sensitive and compassionate. [Meet our therapists](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/FULLER-LIFE-WEST-AND-LOOP-MAP-IMAGE.png) ##### Our Locations Two locations in Houston or virtually in the state of Texas. [Where we are](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/qtq80-6Qskhy.jpeg) ##### Our Fees As a 501c3 Nonprofit, we make sure everyone can afford counseling. [About our fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) ## Read articles by Fuller LIfe Therapists about teens: [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/canstockphoto69433674-1024x683.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/5-discipline-strategies-kids-want-know/) ## [5 Discipline Strategies Your Kids Want You to Know – Disciplining Your Kids Well, Part 2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/5-discipline-strategies-kids-want-know/) [Read More 5 Discipline Strategies Your Kids Want You to Know – Disciplining Your Kids Well, Part 2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/5-discipline-strategies-kids-want-know/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/canstockphoto47992599-1024x682.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/disciplining-your-kids-well-part-1-common-misconceptions/) ## [3 Common Misconceptions About Discipline You Need to Know – Disciplining Your Kids Well, Part 1](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/disciplining-your-kids-well-part-1-common-misconceptions/) [Read More 3 Common Misconceptions About Discipline You Need to Know – Disciplining Your Kids Well, Part 1](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/disciplining-your-kids-well-part-1-common-misconceptions/) [![parental house conflict](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/parental-conflict-house-split-open-canstockphoto40937807-2.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parents-conflict-fight/) ## [The Art of Parental Conflict: Tips for Arguing To Your Kids’ Benefit](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parents-conflict-fight/) [Read More The Art of Parental Conflict: Tips for Arguing To Your Kids’ Benefit](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parents-conflict-fight/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/canstockphoto14302503.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/choicemaking-adult-children-special-needs/) ## [Learning to Let Go: Choice making for Adult Children with Special Needs](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/choicemaking-adult-children-special-needs/) [Read More Learning to Let Go: Choice making for Adult Children with Special Needs](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/choicemaking-adult-children-special-needs/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Teen-moodiness.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/typical-teenage-mood-swings-or-borderline/) ## [Teen Moodiness & Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/typical-teenage-mood-swings-or-borderline/) [Read More Teen Moodiness & Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/typical-teenage-mood-swings-or-borderline/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/divorcekids.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/talk-kids-divorce/) ## [How to Talk to Your Kids about Divorce ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/talk-kids-divorce/) [Read More How to Talk to Your Kids about Divorce ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/talk-kids-divorce/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/HOARDING-e1487046948287.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/whoever-dies-with-the-most-toys-wins-collectors-minimalists-hoarders/) ## [Collector, Minimalist or Hoarder: Whoever Dies with The Most Toys Wins](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/whoever-dies-with-the-most-toys-wins-collectors-minimalists-hoarders/) [Read More Collector, Minimalist or Hoarder: Whoever Dies with The Most Toys Wins](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/whoever-dies-with-the-most-toys-wins-collectors-minimalists-hoarders/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/canstockphoto3194281-e1428416456519.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/assertiveness/) ## [The Five Habits of Assertive People](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/assertiveness/) [Read More The Five Habits of Assertive People](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/assertiveness/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Parents-and-daughter-e1411101302813.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/peaceful-parenting/) ## [Peaceful Parenting – Because Punishment Is Not Enough](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/peaceful-parenting/) [Read More Peaceful Parenting – Because Punishment Is Not Enough](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/peaceful-parenting/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Mother-child-2-e1396627049803.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parenthood-the-power-of-breathing/) ## [Parenthood: The Power of Breathing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parenthood-the-power-of-breathing/) [Read More Parenthood: The Power of Breathing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parenthood-the-power-of-breathing/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Courage-e1376396003439.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/courage-to-face-our-fears/) ## [Courage to Face Our Fears](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/courage-to-face-our-fears/) [Read More Courage to Face Our Fears](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/courage-to-face-our-fears/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Parenting-with-Love-and-Logic-e1363146385495.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parenting-with-love-and-logic-teaching-children-responsibility/) ## [Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parenting-with-love-and-logic-teaching-children-responsibility/) [Read More Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parenting-with-love-and-logic-teaching-children-responsibility/) --- ### [Dormetra - Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/playtherapy/) **Published:** May 2, 2023 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** # Need help for your child? Consider Play Therapy When kids struggle, parents or guardians often feel at a loss for what to do. They may feel overwhelmed, hopeless or blame themselves for their child’s behavior. A trained therapist works with the child and the family to address what is not working through individual play therapy or family play therapy. Play therapy is an effective tool to allow children to express themselves with a compassionate adult through play. Why Play? Because play is how children communicate. Family play therapy creates space for children to express their feelings or difficulties and develop a different kind of relationship with their caregivers. Individual play therapy gives the child a sense of freedom to explore and play while interacting and being observed with a play therapist in a way that facilitates healing. Dormetra Henry is A Licensed Professional Counselor with a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and a post-graduate certificate in MFT from Fuller Life. [Dormetra Henry LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dormetrahenry/) is uniquely trained and qualified to intervene with your family. Counseling helps family members express concerns and find ways to work together toward solutions. - Dormetra Henry, LPC ## Meet Dormetra. A Licensed Professional Counselor with a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and a post-graduate certificate in MFT from Fuller Life, [Dormetra Henry LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dormetrahenry/) is uniquely trained and qualified to intervene with your family. Counseling helps family members express concerns and find ways to work together toward solutions. Dormetra sees clients in person and virtually in Houston. She does evenings and weekends and accepts insurance. Call Dormetra today to schedule an appointment at [(832) 548-9625.](tel:+18325489625). [REQUEST APPOINTMENT WITH DORMETRA](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=117) # Read Articles by Fuller Life Therapists about Kids: No posts --- ### [Family Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/family-counseling/) **Published:** March 14, 2012 **Author:** FullerLife **Content:** ## Therapy for families in person or online Change the way your family interacts, heal hurts, and develop closer relationships through family therapy [Request an Appointment Today](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) We recognize that there are many transitions in the family life cycle that create challenges (having children, adolescent and teen years, aging parents, illnesses, loss, divorce, and financial struggles). Together, we look at the ways families can get stuck and experience distress during these times or transition. We see the family as a whole. Counseling helps to create a healthy hierarchy where the parents are united in their parenting approach and provides consistent rules and expectations for children to follow. We help parents set boundaries around giving and teaching responsibility. We also work with parents to help them listen to the needs and wants of their children without judgment, criticism, and stonewalling. We aim to restore children’s faith and trust in their parent’s ability to be responsive. Our family counselors desire to improve the quality of family life through challenging yet compassionate therapy. [Request an appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) Ready to get started? ## Want to know more? Fill out the appointment request and one of our team members will get back to you asap. [Request an appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Fuller-life-team-color-2021.png) ##### Our Therapists Our team is culturally sensitive and compassionate. [Meet our therapists](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/FULLER-LIFE-WEST-AND-LOOP-MAP-IMAGE.png) ##### Our Locations Two locations in Houston or virtually in the state of Texas. [Where we are](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/qtq80-6Qskhy.jpeg) ##### Our Fees As a 501c3 Nonprofit, we make sure everyone can afford counseling. [About our fees](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/affordable-counseling-houston/) # Read articles about issues families face [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/canstockphoto388173-1024x794.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resilient-families/) ## [The Recipe for a Resilient Family ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resilient-families/) [Read More The Recipe for a Resilient Family ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resilient-families/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/canstockphoto69433674-1024x683.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/5-discipline-strategies-kids-want-know/) ## [5 Discipline Strategies Your Kids Want You to Know – Disciplining Your Kids Well, Part 2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/5-discipline-strategies-kids-want-know/) [Read More 5 Discipline Strategies Your Kids Want You to Know – Disciplining Your Kids Well, Part 2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/5-discipline-strategies-kids-want-know/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/canstockphoto47992599-1024x682.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/disciplining-your-kids-well-part-1-common-misconceptions/) ## [3 Common Misconceptions About Discipline You Need to Know – Disciplining Your Kids Well, Part 1](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/disciplining-your-kids-well-part-1-common-misconceptions/) [Read More 3 Common Misconceptions About Discipline You Need to Know – Disciplining Your Kids Well, Part 1](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/disciplining-your-kids-well-part-1-common-misconceptions/) [![parental house conflict](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/parental-conflict-house-split-open-canstockphoto40937807-2.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parents-conflict-fight/) ## [The Art of Parental Conflict: Tips for Arguing To Your Kids’ Benefit](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parents-conflict-fight/) [Read More The Art of Parental Conflict: Tips for Arguing To Your Kids’ Benefit](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parents-conflict-fight/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/canstockphoto14302503.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/choicemaking-adult-children-special-needs/) ## [Learning to Let Go: Choice making for Adult Children with Special Needs](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/choicemaking-adult-children-special-needs/) [Read More Learning to Let Go: Choice making for Adult Children with Special Needs](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/choicemaking-adult-children-special-needs/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Teen-moodiness.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/typical-teenage-mood-swings-or-borderline/) ## [Teen Moodiness & Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/typical-teenage-mood-swings-or-borderline/) [Read More Teen Moodiness & Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/typical-teenage-mood-swings-or-borderline/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/divorcekids.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/talk-kids-divorce/) ## [How to Talk to Your Kids about Divorce ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/talk-kids-divorce/) [Read More How to Talk to Your Kids about Divorce ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/talk-kids-divorce/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/canstockphoto3194281-e1428416456519.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/assertiveness/) ## [The Five Habits of Assertive People](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/assertiveness/) [Read More The Five Habits of Assertive People](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/assertiveness/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Parents-and-daughter-e1411101302813.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/peaceful-parenting/) ## [Peaceful Parenting – Because Punishment Is Not Enough](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/peaceful-parenting/) [Read More Peaceful Parenting – Because Punishment Is Not Enough](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/peaceful-parenting/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Mother-child-2-e1396627049803.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parenthood-the-power-of-breathing/) ## [Parenthood: The Power of Breathing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parenthood-the-power-of-breathing/) [Read More Parenthood: The Power of Breathing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parenthood-the-power-of-breathing/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Parenting-with-Love-and-Logic-e1363146385495.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parenting-with-love-and-logic-teaching-children-responsibility/) ## [Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parenting-with-love-and-logic-teaching-children-responsibility/) [Read More Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parenting-with-love-and-logic-teaching-children-responsibility/) [![loved one won’t communicate in relationship](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/canstockphoto4191559-e1357882900793.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/five-reasons-your-loved-one-wont-communicate/) ## [5 Hidden Reasons Your Loved One Won’t Communicate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/five-reasons-your-loved-one-wont-communicate/) [Read More 5 Hidden Reasons Your Loved One Won’t Communicate](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/five-reasons-your-loved-one-wont-communicate/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Getting-Together-5-Photo-e1354724581631.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/communicating-as-equals/) ## [Getting Together 5: Communicating as Equals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/communicating-as-equals/) [Read More Getting Together 5: Communicating as Equals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/communicating-as-equals/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Empathetic-Couple-e1391256108172.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/create-healthy-relationships-move-toward-empathy-and-compassion/) ## [Create Healthy Relationships: Move Toward Empathy and Compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/create-healthy-relationships-move-toward-empathy-and-compassion/) [Read More Create Healthy Relationships: Move Toward Empathy and Compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/create-healthy-relationships-move-toward-empathy-and-compassion/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Photo-2-for-NY-Times-article.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parenting-marriage/) ## [Challenges Faced by Single Parents](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parenting-marriage/) [Read More Challenges Faced by Single Parents](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parenting-marriage/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/canstock6673188.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/compassion-healing-relationships/) ## [Compassion in Healing Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/compassion-healing-relationships/) [Read More Compassion in Healing Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/compassion-healing-relationships/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Child-with-Flower.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/celebrate-together/) ## [Celebrate Together: How Our Responses Make or Break Our Relationships.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/celebrate-together/) [Read More Celebrate Together: How Our Responses Make or Break Our Relationships.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/celebrate-together/) # [Read articles about navigating divorce, separation and blended families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/navigating-separation-divorce-blended-families/ "Navigating Separation, Divorce and Blended Families") --- ### [Harold Gibson, Resident Therapist](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/harold/) **Published:** January 5, 2021 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Harld-Gibson-Headshot-1-edited-scaled-e1630960696591-1018x1024.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Harld-Gibson-Headshot-1-edited-scaled-e1630960696591.jpeg)Harold Gibson, Resident Therapist ### **Resident Therapist** ## Harold Gibson Hello! My name is Harold Gibson, I am a resident therapist here at Fuller Life. I hold a Master of Arts degree in Counseling from Houston Graduate School of Theology and practice as an LPC Associate under the supervision of [Dr. Amy Fuller](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists/amy-fuller-phd/). I also hold a Master of Arts in Leadership Ministries from Faith International University in Tacoma Washington and received my undergraduate degree in Biblical Studies from Oikodom’e School of Biblical Studies in Houston Texas. I have transitioned into this field from the food service industry to a second career in counseling making relevant contributions to the lives of people needing help, which is my mission and ministry. So far, my professional experience consists of 37 years in foodservice, and 20 years as a chef. I also earned an emeritus degree from the school of hard knocks. In other words, I have learned many lessons the hard way, but you don’t have to. I have something to offer, a kind heart, a listening ear, a willingness to help, and most of all, a lifetime of experiences. The journey of life can, at times be difficult to navigate alone. Life’s path can be blocked by the unexpected, full of potholes, road closures, detours traffic jams. Maybe you are ending one trip and beginning a new one. Like that unexpected pothole, we sometimes have personal issues, or relational issues to sort through. If there is a place along your life’s journey where you are bogged down, reach out. I would love to come alongside and work with you, together we can explore opportunities that will help get you moving again. I look forward to meeting and working with you at Fuller Life. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) I see clients in person and via secure tele-health and am available by appointment only. To schedule an appointment please contact me by email at , by phone at [(713) 320-3646](tel:+17133203646) or thorough our [webform.](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## Read Articles by Harold: [![DBT 4 modules](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/Mindfulness-3-300x225.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dialectical-behavior-therapy/) [Addiction & Recovery](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/addiction-recovery/) | [Anxiety & Panic](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/anxiety/) | [Anxiety Issues](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/anxiety-issues/) | [Bipolar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/bipolar/) | [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) | [Depression](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/depression/) | [Depression, Bipolar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/depression-bipolar/) | [Eating Disorders](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/eating-disorders/) | [Emotional Intelligence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/emotional-intelligence/) | [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) ## [Dialectical Behavior Therapy: From a Life of Misery to One Worth Living](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dialectical-behavior-therapy/) By [Harold Gibson](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/author/haroldgibson/) Emotional Regulation skills help people manage their emotions, even though complete emotional control cannot be achieved. To a certain extent, people are who they are, however, people can learn to have more control.[Read More Dialectical Behavior Therapy: From a Life of Misery to One Worth Living](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dialectical-behavior-therapy/) --- ### [Christian Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/christian-sex-therapy/) **Published:** May 2, 2023 **Author:** Dr. Chantail Green **Content:** # Are you a Christian Couple having trouble in the bedroom? See a Sex Therapist. Many Christian couples struggle to have a vibrant sex life or lose the passion they once had. They can feel hopeless for ever achieving their desired romantic relationship. When faith is vital it’s challenging to know where to turn for help that will honor your Christian faith with Biblical truth. Many therapists are not trained to address the sexual difficulties couples face and ignore sexual issues. A solid sex therapist will invite individuals and couples to explore sexual experiences and challenges so they can grow through the process. Chantail Green LPC is a certified sex therapist candidate with AASECT. Additionally, she holds a seminary doctorate degree with a specialization in sexuality from the Houston Graduate School of Theology. Whether your issue is infidelity, desire discrepancy, sexual dysfunction, or a history of sexual abuse, Chantail can bring hope to what may feel like a hopeless situation. She is fully equipped to work with Christian clients to face and grow through various sexual concerns. Chantail sees individuals and couples virtually in the state of Texas. Please reach out today. - Chantail Green, LPC ## Meet Dr. Green Chantail Green is a Licensed Professional Counselor with a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and a post-graduate certificate from Fuller Life. She is a certified sex therapist candidate and holds a doctorate degree with a specialization in sexuality. Chantaill specializes in helping couples or individuals navigate the challenges of sexuality to achieve a healthy and fulfilling sex life. She sees clients online in the state of Texas. Call [Chantail ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/chantailgreen/)today to schedule an appointment at [(832) 685-2018](tel:+18326852018). [REQUEST APPOINTMENT WITH CHANTAIL](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=101) # Read articles by Fuller Life therapists about Sexuality: No posts --- ### [Mental Health Resources](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mental-health-resources/) **Published:** July 31, 2015 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** **Addiction and Recovery** - Substance Information - [Alcohol](https://www.addictioncenter.com/alcohol/) - [Benzodiazepines](https://www.addictioncenter.com/benzodiazepines/) - [Illicit Drugs](https://www.addictioncenter.com/drugs/) - [Pain Killers](https://www.addictioncenter.com/painkillers/) - [Sleeping Pills](https://www.addictioncenter.com/sleeping-pills/) - [Stimulants](https://www.addictioncenter.com/stimulants/) - [Coping with Triggers](https://www.addictioncenter.com/treatment/coping-triggers/) - [Questions About Rehab](https://www.addictioncenter.com/rehab-questions/) - [Staging an Intervention](https://www.addictioncenter.com/treatment/stage-intervention/) - [Benefits of a Pet-friendly Recovery](https://www.addictionresource.net/best-drug-rehab-centers/pet-friendly/) - [Addiction Resources for Parents](https://www.bluecrestrc.com/addiction-resources-for-parents/) - [Sober Support Network](https://www.bluecrestrc.com/how-to-build-a-sober-support-network/) **Relationships** - Marriage - Parenting - Divorce - Premarital - Blended Families - Communication - Empathy - Domestic Violence - Infidelity - Intimacy and Sex Therapy - Gender Differences - Family Therapy - Emotions & Relationships - Boundaries **Mental Health** - [Depression](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resources/depression/) - [CBT Tools & Worksheets for Depression](http://www.allaboutdepression.com/workshops/CBT_Workshop/CBT_22.html) - [Mindfulness Meditations](http://franticworld.com/free-meditations-from-mindfulness/) - [Major Depressive Disorder](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resources/depression/major-depressive-disorder/) - Anxiety and Panic - Bipolar - [Bipolar Wellness Plan](http://www.bipolar-lives.com/bipolar-wellness-plan.html) - [Suicide Awareness](http://bipolar.about.com/cs/suicide/a/9805_redflags3.htm) - Eating Disorders - Emotional Regulation - Sleep Disorders - Personality Disorders - Suicide Awareness – See our Crisis Resources page - [Teen mental health – A guide for parents](https://www.mytutor.co.uk/blog/teen-mental-health-a-guide-for-parents/) **Trauma and Loss** - EMDR - Disassociation - Survivors of Abuse - Grief **Tools and Techniques** - Mindfulness - EMDR - Deep State Therapy (Hypnosis) - Biofeedback - Cognitive Reframing - Self-Validation (affirmations) **The Human Brain** - [Brain Science Videos](https://www.drdansiegel.com/resources/video_clips/) **Self-Care Practices** - Breathwork - [Anger-Management](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/managing-anger-stress/) - Stress-Management - Mindfulness Practice - [Mindfulness Meditations](http://franticworld.com/free-meditations-from-mindfulness/) - [Christopher Germer’s Meditations](http://www.mindfulselfcompassion.org/meditations_downloads.php) - Compassion - [Self-Compassion meditations](http://www.mindfulselfcompassion.org/meditations_downloads.php) - Gratitude - Time-Management - Centering Prayer - Spirituality **Adolescents and Children** - Play therapy - Child Abuse (Safety) - [ADD-ADHD](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/add-adhd/) - - **Tips for Parents**: http://www.helpguide.org/articles/add-adhd/attention-deficit-disorder-adhd-parenting-tips.htm - **Diagnosis and Criteria:** - **Behavioral Treatment:** - **Food for thought**: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/suffer-the-children/201203/why-french-kids-dont-have-adhd?utm\_content=bufferdc7f9&utm\_medium=social&utm\_source=facebook.com&utm\_campaign=buffer - **Fuller Life Library**: The Mindfulness Prescription for ADHD: An 8-Step Program for Strengthening Attention, Managing Emotions, and Achieving Your Goals - Depression, Bipolar - Anxiety Issues - [Helping Children and Teens through Anxiety](https://adaa.org/find-help/by-demographics/children/children-teens) - Developmental Disorders **Parenting** - No Drama Discipline http://tinabryson.com - Self-Esteem - Social Skills - Sexual Education - Emotional Intelligence **Christian Resources & Links** **Local Houston Resources & Links** **Crisis Intervention Resources** **Additional Mental Health and Counseling Resources** - [http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/index.shtml](http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/index.shtml "http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/index.shtml Cmd+Click or tap to follow the link") - - [http://psychcentral.com](http://psychcentral.com/) - - [The Recovery Village](https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/mental-health/) - - [http://www.sciencedaily.com](http://www.sciencedaily.com/) - [http://www.healthyplace.com](http://www.healthyplace.com/) - - [http://www.mayoclinic.org](http://www.mayoclinic.org/) - - [http://teenmentalhealth.org](http://teenmentalhealth.org/) - [http://www.mentalhealth.gov](http://www.mentalhealth.gov/) - Medlineplus [subscriberhelp.govdelivery.com](http://links.govdelivery.com/track?type=click&enid=ZWFzPTEmbWFpbGluZ2lkPTIwMTUwNjA4LjQ1NzM5MzExJm1lc3NhZ2VpZD1NREItUFJELUJVTC0yMDE1MDYwOC40NTczOTMxMSZkYXRhYmFzZWlkPTEwMDEmc2VyaWFsPTE2ODU3MTA4JmVtYWlsaWQ9QW15QGFteWZ1bGxlcnBoZC5jb20mdXNlcmlkPUFteUBhbXlmdWxsZXJwaGQuY29tJmZsPSZleHRyYT1NdWx0aXZhcmlhdGVJZD0mJiY=&&&108&&&https://subscriberhelp.govdelivery.com/) - - [http://www.who.int/mental\_health/en](http://www.who.int/mental_health/en)/ - - [http://www.babha.org/MentalHealthinformation/Links.aspx](http://www.babha.org/MentalHealthinformation/Links.aspx "http://www.babha.org/MentalHealthinformation/Links.aspx Cmd+Click or tap to follow the link") - - / - [Alcohol addiction and treatment](https://addictionrehabtreatment.com/alcohol/) - [Grief and substance use](https://springhillrecovery.com/coping-with-grief/) - [Managing insomnia](https://howtosleep.co.uk/guides/the-complete-guide-to-insomnia) - [Understanding](https://www.bustle.com/p/11-signs-someone-might-have-ptsd-because-its-much-more-common-than-you-probably-think-79692) and [coping](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/healing-is-a-process-not-_b_6044650) with [PTSD](https://www.bridgestorecovery.com/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/what-are-the-causes-of-ptsd/) **Associations and Institutes** **Additional Resources for Depression** **Articles**- [Screen Time and Depression](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-your-screen-time-depressing/ "Is your screen time depressing?") - [Creating Happiness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/creating-happiness/ "Creating Happiness") - [Lost Places](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/depression-grief/ "Lost Places") - [10 things to say to someone who is depressed](10 Things You Should Say to a Depressed Loved One "10 Things You Should Say to a Depressed Loved One") - [New Baby Blues or Postpartum Depression?](http://psychcentral.com/lib/2013/new-baby-blues-or-postpartum-depression/ "http://psychcentral.com/lib/2013/new-baby-blues-or-postpartum-depression/") - [Finding Peace of Mind: About treatment for Depression](http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=education_brochures_finding_POM "http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=education_brochures_finding_POM") **Great sites about depression:**- [Undoing Depression](http://www.undoingdepression.com "http://www.undoingdepression.com") - [Depression by Mental Health America](http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/go/depression "http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/go/depression") - [Depression by PsychCentral](http://psychcentral.com/disorders/depression/ "Psych Central") - [Wing of Madnes](http://www.wingofmadness.com/ "wing of madness")[s Depression Guide](http://www.wingofmadness.com/ "wing of madness") - [All about Depression](http://www.allaboutdepression.com/index.html "All about Depression") - [Quotes related to Depression](http://www.depression-recovery-life.com/depressed-quote.html "Quotes related to depression") - [Poems related to Depression](http://www.depression-recovery-life.com/depression-poems.html "Poems related to Depression") - [Breaking down myths about depression](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resources/depression/breaking_down_the_myths_about_depression/) **Online surveys to screen depression:**- [How’s your mood? ](http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/llw/depression_screen.cfm "hows your mood?") - [Online Depression Screening Survey](http://psychcentral.com/depquiz.htm "Depression quiz") - [DBSA Wellness Tracker ](http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=wellness_tracker "http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=wellness_tracker") **Books**[![Mindfulness_EightWeekPlanBook](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Mindfulness_EightWeekPlanBook-200x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resources/depression/mindfulness_eightweekplanbook/)[Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World. Mark Williams and Danny Penman. 2011.](http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Eight-Week-Finding-Peace-Frantic/dp/1609618955/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1366668744&sr=1-1&keywords=mindfulness+an+eight-week+plan+for+finding+peace+in+a+frantic+world "Mindfulness: An Eight Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World") **Organizations**- [Mental Health America](http://www.nmha.org "http://www.nmha.org") - [Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA)](http://www.ndmda.org "http://www.ndmda.org") - [Federation of Families for Children’s Mental Health](http://www.ffcmh.org "http://www.ffcmh.org") - [National Institute of Mental Health](http://www.nimh.nih.gov/ "http://www.nimh.nih.gov/") - [National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI)](http://www.nami.org "http://www.nami.org") - **National Hopeline Network** - (800) 442-HOPE - (800) 442-4673 - (800) SUICIDE (800) 784-2433 --- ### [Chantail Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sex-therapy-2/) **Published:** May 2, 2023 **Author:** Dr. Chantail Green **Content:** # Trouble in the bedroom? See a Sex Therapist. Many couples struggle to have a vibrant sex life or lose the passion they once had. They can feel hopeless for ever achieving the kind of romantic relationship they desire. Many therapists are not trained to address the sexual difficulties couples face and ignore sexual issues. A solid sex therapist will invite individuals and couples to explore sexual experiences and challenges so they can grow through the process. Chantail Green LPC is a certified sex therapist candidate and in the process of completing a doctorate degree with a specialization in sexuality. Whether your issue is infidelity, desire discrepancy, sexual orientation, sexual dysfunction or a history of sexual abuse, Chantail can bring hope to what may feel like a hopeless situation. She is fully equipped to help clients face and grow through various sexual concerns. - Chantail Green, LPC ## Meet Dr. Green Chantail Green is a Licensed Professional Counselor with a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and a post-graduate certificate from Fuller Life. She is a certified sex therapist candidate and holds a doctorate degree with a specialization in sexuality. Chantaill specializes in helping couples or individuals navigate the challenges of sexuality to achieve a healthy and fulfilling sex life. She sees clients online in the state of Texas. Call [Chantail ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/chantailgreen/)today to schedule an appointment at [(832) 685-2018](tel:+18326852018). [REQUEST APPOINTMENT WITH CHANTAIL](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=101) # Read articles by Fuller Life therapists about Sexuality No posts --- ### [Dormetra Trouble with your Teen? Family Therapy can help.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/teen/) **Published:** May 4, 2019 **Author:** Dormetra Henry **Content:** # Trouble with your Teen? Family Therapy can help. Have you noticed unhealthy patterns or behaviors in your teen? Does your teen not seem like his or her usual self? Do discussions with your teen lead to unhelpful arguments? Has your teen become more withdrawn or isolated? Have you noticed a change in your child’s grades or group of friends? Are you worried your child may be suffering from anxiety or depression? The teenage years can be a rough road. Sometimes teens and parents don’t know what to do with the difficulty they face during these years. It may seem like peace or understanding is out of reach. Family therapy can present new opportunities for healing and connection for the teen and the family. Working with the whole family creates opportunities to help the adolescent successfully complete the tasks of becoming a healthy young adult. Additionally, family therapy can help build and preserve strong and long-lasting relationships within the family beyond the adolescent years. - Dormetra Henry, LPC ## Meet Dormetra. A Licensed Professional Counselor with a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and a post-graduate certificate in MFT from Fuller Life, [Dormetra Henry LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dormetrahenry/) is uniquely trained and qualified to intervene with your family. Counseling helps family members express concerns and find ways to work together toward solutions. Dormetra sees clients in person and virtually in Houston. She does evenings and weekends and accepts insurance. Call Dormetra today to schedule an appointment at [(832) 548-9625.](tel:+18325489625). [REQUEST APPOINTMENT WITH DORMETRA](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=117) # Read Articles by Fuller Life Therapists about Teens: [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Teen-moodiness.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/typical-teenage-mood-swings-or-borderline/) ## [Teen Moodiness & Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/typical-teenage-mood-swings-or-borderline/) [Read More Teen Moodiness & Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/typical-teenage-mood-swings-or-borderline/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Courage-e1376396003439.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/courage-to-face-our-fears/) ## [Courage to Face Our Fears](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/courage-to-face-our-fears/) [Read More Courage to Face Our Fears](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/courage-to-face-our-fears/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/canstockphoto47992599-1024x682.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/disciplining-your-kids-well-part-1-common-misconceptions/) ## [3 Common Misconceptions About Discipline You Need to Know – Disciplining Your Kids Well, Part 1](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/disciplining-your-kids-well-part-1-common-misconceptions/) [Read More 3 Common Misconceptions About Discipline You Need to Know – Disciplining Your Kids Well, Part 1](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/disciplining-your-kids-well-part-1-common-misconceptions/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Mother-child-2-e1396627049803.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parenthood-the-power-of-breathing/) ## [Parenthood: The Power of Breathing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parenthood-the-power-of-breathing/) [Read More Parenthood: The Power of Breathing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parenthood-the-power-of-breathing/) [![parental house conflict](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/parental-conflict-house-split-open-canstockphoto40937807-2.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parents-conflict-fight/) ## [The Art of Parental Conflict: Tips for Arguing To Your Kids’ Benefit](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parents-conflict-fight/) [Read More The Art of Parental Conflict: Tips for Arguing To Your Kids’ Benefit](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/parents-conflict-fight/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/canstockphoto14302503.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/choicemaking-adult-children-special-needs/) ## [Learning to Let Go: Choice making for Adult Children with Special Needs](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/choicemaking-adult-children-special-needs/) [Read More Learning to Let Go: Choice making for Adult Children with Special Needs](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/choicemaking-adult-children-special-needs/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/divorcekids.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/talk-kids-divorce/) ## [How to Talk to Your Kids about Divorce ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/talk-kids-divorce/) [Read More How to Talk to Your Kids about Divorce ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/talk-kids-divorce/) --- ### [Dormetra - Sand Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sand-therapy/) **Published:** May 2, 2023 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** # Looking for creative solutions? Try Sand Therapy Sometimes talking about challenging issues can feel overwhelming. It can be uncomfortable to express or difficult to talk about things that have happened so that healing can occur. Traditional talk therapy alone may not be enough to facilitate full healing. Sand tray therapy makes talk therapy more effective with a unique way to express feelings, thoughts, experiences, traumas, and relationships. The sand tray creates and engages the mind body connection to create and facilitate healing. Sand tray therapy is appropriate for all ages. Sand tray therapy is helpful for young children, adults, couples and even families. Dormetra Henry is a Certified Sand Tray Therapist through Texas State University and specializes in the use of sand in therapy with children, adolescents, and adults. - Dormetra Henry, LPC ## Meet Dormetra. A Licensed Professional Counselor with a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and a post-graduate certificate in MFT from Fuller Life, [Dormetra Henry LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dormetrahenry/) is uniquely trained and qualified to intervene with your family. Counseling helps family members express concerns and find ways to work together toward solutions. Dormetra sees clients in person and virtually in Houston. She does evenings and weekends and accepts insurance. Call Dormetra today to schedule an appointment at [(832) 548-9625.](tel:+18325489625). [REQUEST APPOINTMENT WITH DORMETRA](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=117) # Read Articles by Fuller Life Therapists about Teens: No posts --- ### [Felisha Ibarwin](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/felisha/) **Published:** May 2, 2023 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** [![Felicia FL Headshot](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Felicia-Headshots-2-e1683045086914-1021x1024.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Felicia-Headshots-2-e1683045222993.png)Felisha Ibarwen, Student Therapist ##### Bilingual Student Therapist ## Felisha Ibarwen Hello and Welcome! “The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.” (Carl Jung, 1933). Everyone faces daily struggles, whether with a partner, a boss, a friend, or a family member. My goal as your therapist is to help you navigate your emotions and behaviors while learning that you are your own person and not like everyone else. I obtained my Registered Behavior Therapist Certification to work with children on the spectrum to further my knowledge of these children’s challenges. I have worked with children and families in the school system for four years and worked in restaurants/retail for ten years before switching to working with children. I am a student therapist at Abilene Christian University in the last stages of obtaining my Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy with a concentration in Child/Adolescent Therapy. I also have a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology with a concentration in Clinical Counseling from Saint Leo University in Saint Leo, FL. I provide therapy services in both English and Spanish. --- I provide therapy for individuals, families, children, and couples at Fuller Life West, Fuller Life Loop, and through telehealth. I am available from 9:00 a.m. through 7:00 p.m. Monday through Friday and 9:00 a.m. through 2:00 p.m. Saturdays. ## How to contact Felisha: If you are interested in an appointment or more information I can be reached: - phone: [(832) 521-8808](tel:+18325489625)[.](tel:+18325218808) - email: [felisha@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org](mailto:felicia@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org) - Webform: [Secure Inquiry Form](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=117) --- ### [Manet Castañeda, LPC](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/manet/) **Published:** January 18, 2016 **Author:** FullerLife **Content:** Bilingual English/Spanish Speaking Therapist [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Manet-Castaneda-Fuller-Life-Headshot-scaled-e1631305448934-300x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Manet-Castaneda-Fuller-Life-Headshot-scaled-e1631305448934.jpg)Manet Castaneda I am honored to say that my calling and my passion is to walk with couples and individuals who are suffering at various moments of their lives. I choose to join with my clients by providing a space in which they can engage in self-exploration and healing. My area of focus is in couples and individual therapy. I am privileged to walk with my clients as they grow and develop into healthier and happier couples and individuals. I am committed to approaching each therapeutic relationship with compassion, respect and to encourage an environment that is growth promoting and safe for all my clients. My desire to help hurting individuals led me to pursue a bachelor’s in family studies at Abilene Christian University. Soon after graduating from ACU, I enrolled at the University of Houston Clear Lake, where I obtained a master’s degree in counseling. Outside of the therapy office, I greatly enjoy spending time at home with my beloved pets. I am very fond of taking walks as a way of relaxing and engaging in mindfulness and I also enjoy practicing hot yoga. ### Read articles by Manet: [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/canstockphoto24429978-scaled-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-time-crisis/)#### [Self-Care in the Time of Crisis](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-time-crisis/) Difficult Times When we face times of personal or global crisis, it can be very easy to neglect self-care due ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-time-crisis/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/canstockphoto53533449-scaled-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/real-talk-talk-partner-porn/)#### [Real Talk: Should you Talk with Your Partner about Porn?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/real-talk-talk-partner-porn/) Real Talk: Should You Talk with Your Partner about Porn? One of the most challenging conversations you can have with ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/real-talk-talk-partner-porn/) [![Self-care in houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Self-Love--scaled-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-often-do-you-care-for-yourself/)#### [How Often do you Care for Yourself?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-often-do-you-care-for-yourself/) Self-Care Sunday The phrase self-care is becoming more and more popular. It is a phrase we hear all over social ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-often-do-you-care-for-yourself/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/canstockphoto19996699-6-e1532389361662-300x199.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/me-myself-and-i/)#### [Me, Myself, and I](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/me-myself-and-i/) The Self The self is our sense of personal identity, it is a mental picture that we have of ourselves ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/me-myself-and-i/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/canstockphoto17632279-scaled-300x169.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/do-you-talk-dirty-to-yourself/)#### [Do You Talk Dirty to Yourself?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/do-you-talk-dirty-to-yourself/) If you find yourself guilty of engaging in harmful self-talk, do not fret, you are not alone. Many of us ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/do-you-talk-dirty-to-yourself/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Why-your-Partner-Wont-Have-Sex-with-You-scaled-300x203.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/partner-wont-sex/)#### [Why your Partner Won’t Have Sex with You](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/partner-wont-sex/) Two Universal Truths in Love and Sex “Picture this: we were both butt naked banging on the bathroom floor…” While ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/partner-wont-sex/) - [1](#) - [2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=2&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) - [›](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=2&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) ![Loading...](data:image/gif;base64,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) --- ### [Resources](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resources/) **Published:** September 13, 2012 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** --- ### [Shani Bell, LPC, ATR Registered Art Therapist](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shanibell/) **Published:** October 24, 2015 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Fuller-Life-2018-Shani-Bell-LPC-ATR-copy-150x150.jpg) Shani Bell is Licensed Professional Counselor and Registered [Art Therapist](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/art-therapy/) As a therapist, her skills and training meet her natural compassion and belief in each person’s ability to heal and grow. With this opportunity extended to her by Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, she endeavors to facilitate restoration and well-being by helping clients to utilize undiscovered strengths. She believes creativity is a universal method of functioning that is not unique to any one type of person. Where appropriate and beneficial, artistic exploration is used in treatment as a means to encourage expression, relaxation, personal insight, problem solving and healing. Shani is a graduate of Saint Mary-of-the-Woods College with a master’s degree in Art Therapy. She completed her post-graduate training in Marriage and Family Therapy at Fuller Life. Learn more about [ART THERAPY](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/art-therapy/) ### Contact info for Shani: [Anxiety Center of Houston](https://www.anxietycenterhouston.com/shanibell) ### Read articles by Shani: ### [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/canstockphoto56864868-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/creating-a-better-you/)#### [Create & Grow Healthy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/creating-a-better-you/) Bruce Moon, Art Therapist and educator, describes art therapy as "an effort to detect or discover the meaning of life ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/creating-a-better-you/) [![Person in silence and quiet](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/canstockphoto34915727-e1525359229426-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-science-of-quiet/)#### [The Science of Quiet](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-science-of-quiet/) The Method of Madness Imagine the days before the internet, before television, even before radio. Imagine a time when the ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-science-of-quiet/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/canstockphoto2179481-300x298.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/good-anger-a-fire-contained/)#### [Good Anger: A Fire Contained](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/good-anger-a-fire-contained/) HULK SMASH! Is this the way you think about anger? Is it a destructive, chaotic force that wreaks havoc in ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/good-anger-a-fire-contained/) [![brain uses Anger to hide pain](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Screen-Shot-2018-01-11-at-2.43.16-PM-300x162.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-the-brain-uses-anger-to-hide-pain/)#### [Covered in Red: How the Brain Uses Anger to Hide Pain](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-the-brain-uses-anger-to-hide-pain/) Thats it! You have had enough. Someone around you has done the very thing you hate. Almost immediately, you see ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-the-brain-uses-anger-to-hide-pain/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/canstockphoto15167808-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/hidden-grief/)#### [Hidden Grief](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/hidden-grief/) Grief usually brings up memories of those we have lost. However, people grieve for many reasons. Believing grief is only ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/hidden-grief/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/canstockphoto35406796-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mess-stress-the-science-behind-your-clutter/)#### [Mess & Stress: The Science Behind Your Clutter](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mess-stress-the-science-behind-your-clutter/) Look around you right now. Can you see the floor or is it covered in laundry? Are you reading this ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mess-stress-the-science-behind-your-clutter/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/reading-e1499312873766-300x248.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/writing-your-destiny/)#### [Writing Your Destiny: Does the Story, You Tell Yourself Help or Hurt You? ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/writing-your-destiny/) If you were to pick a genre for the story of your life, what would it be? A romantic comedy? ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/writing-your-destiny/) [![core value](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/values-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-value-of-your-values/)#### [The Value of Your Values](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-value-of-your-values/) Values? Let’s start with what it means to have values. Values are the direction in which we live our lives ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-value-of-your-values/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Screenshot-2017-02-13-05.09.08-e1488656450479.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/secret-life-introvert/)#### [The Secret Life of the Introvert](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/secret-life-introvert/) The Myth Are you the life of the party? The center of attention wherever you go? Then, clearly you are ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/secret-life-introvert/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/fire-image-conflict-300x131.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/inner-conflict-refining-fire/)#### [Inner Conflict: The Refining Fire](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/inner-conflict-refining-fire/) Heartburn? People tend to think of internal conflict as torturous personal turmoil. A big decision must be made, or a ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/inner-conflict-refining-fire/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/canstockphoto9052609-300x261.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/feel-the-fire-embracing-conflict/)#### [Feel the Fire: Embracing Conflict](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/feel-the-fire-embracing-conflict/) Many articles about conflict focus on the resolution process as the savior of personal and business relationships. But let’s discuss ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/feel-the-fire-embracing-conflict/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/canstockphoto1908192-300x224.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/picture-this-how-to-get-what-you-dream/)#### [Picture This! How to Get What You Dream](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/picture-this-how-to-get-what-you-dream/) Vision boards can be helpful for people who are looking to discover, clarify or focus on their future goals. Creating ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/picture-this-how-to-get-what-you-dream/) - [1](#) - [2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=2&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) - [›](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=2&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) ![Loading...](data:image/gif;base64,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) --- ### [Looking for Creative Solutions? Try Art Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/art/) **Published:** April 26, 2019 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** Words are often hard to find when addressing our deepest fears or hurts. Sometimes this means people avoid seeking help to heal. Art therapy is a professional confidential process inviting creative expression to create new ways of being, solve problems and facilitate inner healing. [Shani Bell, LPC, ATR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shanibell/) offers a unique approach to healing through art. Contact Shani today! ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Fuller-Life-2018-Shani-Bell-LPC-ATR-copy-150x150.jpg) REQUEST AN APPOINTMENT - by email: - Shani by phone at [(832) 685-2030](tel:+18326852030) Location: Fuller Life West [10333 Harwin Drive, #375D, Houston TX 77036](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-contact-info/) --- ### [Dr. Calvin McFadden, Executive Director](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dr-calvin/) **Published:** September 15, 2022 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** [![Dr. Calvin McFadden FL Headshot](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/Calvin-FL-Headshot-7-1024x1024.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/Calvin-FL-Headshot-7.png)Executive Director ### **Executive Director** ## Dr. Calvin McFadden Calvin is a native of Tampa, Florida. He is an honors graduate of Bethune-Cookman College, earning a Bachelor of Arts degree in Sociology. He attended the Interdenominational Theological Center and earned a Master of Divinity degree in Sociology of Religion. He also graduated from Florida State University’s College of Human Sciences and was conferred the Doctor of Philosophy degree in Family and Child Sciences. Over the past 30 years, he has served churches in Palatka, Florida; Tallahassee, Florida; Warner Robins, GA; and Springfield, MA. He currently serves as Senior Pastor/Founder of Cornerstone Community Church in Houston, TX. Dr. McFadden has also enjoyed a fruitful career in education. He has served on the faculty and in administrative roles at Florida A & M University, Florida State University, American International College, Springfield College, Bristol Community College, Smith College, Norwalk Community College, and the Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Charter School of Excellence. Contact me by email at , by phone at [(832) 521-8808](tel:+18325218808). --- ### [Practicing Faith](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/practicing-faith/) **Published:** December 17, 2016 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** [Practicing Faith](http://www.scoop.it/t/practicing-faith) --- ### [Healing Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices/) **Published:** April 17, 2013 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** Daily habits can contribute to increased levels of happiness and contentment. Several have been shown to decrease levels of anxiety and depression. Moreover, we can also increase our immune system functioning and our feelings of well being. Just as we pick up our toothbrush every day, we can begin to create new habits that influence the way we feel. ### **Self-Care** [![Bicycling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Bicycling-300x199.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-the-importance-of-play/bicycling/)Many think, “If only \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ (fill in name of person) would change, then I could be happy.” It is tempting to believe. However, it is unhealthy when we put all of our hopes solely on the shoulders of someone else.It is impossible to make another person change and will only create frustration in a relationship and we end up thinking we have no control of our ability to feel better. The good news is that people have the ability within themselves to create higher levels of contentment and happiness. We can even enhance our relationships, when we let go of trying to change others and transfer that energy to personal daily healing practices. ### **Healing Practices** #### ***[![Hiking](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Hiking-300x219.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices/hiking/)Physical Health:*** - [Eat (mostly) healthy foods](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-eating-2/) in moderation - [Exercise regularly](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-movement-exercise-mental-health/) - Drink plenty of water - [Get adequate sleep](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-permission-to-sleep/ "Healing Practices: Permission to Sleep") - Practice good hygiene (bathe, brush teeth, etc.) - [Practice breathing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/feel-overwhelmed-take-a-breath/) - Obtain medical care, as needed #### ***Emotional and Mental Health*** - Nurture yourself regularly - [Laugh](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practice-laughter-really-is-serious-medicine/ "Laughter Really is a Serious Matter") - [Play](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-the-importance-of-play/ "Make Time for Play")[![Empathetic Couple](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Empathetic-Couple-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/create-healthy-relationships-move-toward-empathy-and-compassion/empathetic-couple/) - [Set aside time away from technology](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-creating-technology-balance/ "Creating Technology Balance") - Notice negative self-talk - [Replace negative self-talk with compassionate response](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-compassion/ "Self-Compassion") - Learn and use relaxation techniques - Create healthy boundaries - Express feelings assertively - Identify feelings (Share them directly if safe) - Talk to a friend - Practice Listening - Journal - Allow yourself (& others) to make mistakes[![Children and Kites](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Children-and-Kites-300x199.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-kids/children-and-kites/) - Ask for what you want - Learn to say “no” - Use “I feel …” statements to express emotions - Avoid being passive, aggressive, or passive-aggressive. Be Assertive. - Spend time with people who make you feel good - Learn to accept compliments #### ***Spiritual Health[![Candle](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Candle-225x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sadness-and-grateful-joy/candle/)*** - Engage in activities that connect you to a power greater than yourself - [Make a daily gratitude list](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/give-thanks-the-most-simple-well-kept-secret-to-a-great-life/ "Give Thanks ") - [Open yourself to the beauty of nature](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-power-of-beautiful-spaces/ "The Healing Power of Beautiful Spaces") - Continue to learn something new - Be open to different points of view - [Practice being present in the moment (Mindfulness or Centering Prayer)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindfulness/ "Mindfulness") [Healing Practices](http://www.scoop.it/t/healing-practices) --- ### [Living Free from Addiction](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/living-free-addiction/) **Published:** December 17, 2016 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** --- ### [Healing Trauma and Loss](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-trauma-loss/) **Published:** December 17, 2016 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** ## Read more about Trauma and Loss --- ### [Managing Anger and Stress](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/managing-anger-stress/) **Published:** December 17, 2016 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** [![self-kindness nurturing your inner adult](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/21-300x214.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-kindness/)#### [The Self-Kindness Your Inner Adult Deserves](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-kindness/) Most of us have said things to ourselves we'd never say to a friend. "Get it together." "Stop being so ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-kindness/) [![how to grow strong relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Tree-image-for-grow-relationships-blog-300x169.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/strong-relationships-solid-self/)#### [What It Takes to Grow Strong Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/strong-relationships-solid-self/) Strong relationships don’t grow by accident. They don’t grow from more empathy, better conflict strategies, or even better communication skills ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/strong-relationships-solid-self/) [![Person underwater with eyes open, representing self-awareness and the effort of staying awake rather than avoiding inner experience.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/evelyn-verdin-Z543CMKt5o0-unsplash-300x225.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-awareness-staying-awake/)#### [Self-Awareness: How Your Survival Instincts Keep You Asleep](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-awareness-staying-awake/) Most of us don’t realize we’ve fallen asleep until something jolts us awake. It might be snapping at someone we ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-awareness-staying-awake/) - [1](#) - [2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=2&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) - [3](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=3&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) - […](#) - [38](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=38&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) - [›](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=2&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) ![Loading...](data:image/gif;base64,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) [Managing Anger and Stress](http://www.scoop.it/t/managing-anger-and-stress) --- ### [Navigating Separation, Divorce and Blended Families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/navigating-separation-divorce-blended-families/) **Published:** December 17, 2016 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** [Navigating Separation, Divorce and Blended Families](http://www.scoop.it/t/navigating-separation-divorce-and-blended-families) --- ### [Dancing Through Depression](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dancing-through-depression/) **Published:** December 17, 2016 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** [![COMPASSION](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Three-hands-with-broken-heart-e1607730942822-300x190.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/when-african-americans-grieve/)#### [When African Americans Grieve](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/when-african-americans-grieve/) This summer, the nation and the world grieved the loss of George Floyd and other victims of police violence. The ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/when-african-americans-grieve/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/canstockphoto24429978-scaled-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-time-crisis/)#### [Self-Care in the Time of Crisis](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-time-crisis/) Difficult Times When we face times of personal or global crisis, it can be very easy to neglect self-care due ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-time-crisis/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/canstockphoto7885910-1-300x192.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/grief-spirituality-intersect/)#### [When Grief and Spirituality Intersect](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/grief-spirituality-intersect/) In light of the recent global novel Coronavirus pandemic that spread and claimed the lives of hundreds of thousands of ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/grief-spirituality-intersect/) [![teen moms and mental health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Sad-mother-cropped-300x226.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/unlocking-signs-secrets-to-baby-blues/)#### [Unlocking the Signs and Secrets to the Baby Blues](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/unlocking-signs-secrets-to-baby-blues/) A woman’s identity changes when she becomes a mother. She starts to become known as so-and-so’s mom. People want to ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/unlocking-signs-secrets-to-baby-blues/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/canstockphoto13026221-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/major-depression/)#### [5 Questions People Who Might Have Major Depression Ask Themselves](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/major-depression/) Major depression or clinical depression can feel overwhelming. Spending time with family and friends or doing activities that were once ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/major-depression/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/postpartum-depresssion-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/baby-blues-gone-bad/)#### [Baby Blues Gone Bad](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/baby-blues-gone-bad/) The promise of new life brings with it anticipation and dreams of a growing family. Happiness is what many of ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/baby-blues-gone-bad/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/Winter-Blues-e1418334783937-300x272.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-it-okay-to-feel-sad-over-the-holidays/)#### [Is it Okay to Feel Sad Over the Holidays?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-it-okay-to-feel-sad-over-the-holidays/) The holiday season is often filled with a mixture of feelings. Many of us believe that we are supposed to ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-it-okay-to-feel-sad-over-the-holidays/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/5178188751_4b09d82538_z-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-power-of-gratitude/)#### [The Power of Positive Emotions](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-power-of-gratitude/) Wired for Danger We have a natural tendency to focus on what goes wrong. Over thousands of years we have ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-power-of-gratitude/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/couple-watching-tv-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-your-screen-time-depressing/)#### [Is your screen time depressing?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-your-screen-time-depressing/) Are you willing to try an experiment? Find something to take notes with. Choose one day this week. Mark the ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-your-screen-time-depressing/) - [1](#) - [2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=2&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) - [›](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=2&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) ![Loading...](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhDwAPALMPAMrKygwMDJOTkz09PZWVla+vr3p6euTk5M7OzuXl5TMzMwAAAJmZmWZmZszMzP///yH/C05FVFNDQVBFMi4wAwEAAAAh+QQFCgAPACwAAAAADwAPAAAEQvDJaZaZOIcV8iQK8VRX4iTYoAwZ4iCYoAjZ4RxejhVNoT+mRGP4cyF4Pp0N98sBGIBMEMOotl6YZ3S61Bmbkm4mAgAh+QQFCgAPACwAAAAADQANAAAENPDJSRSZeA418itN8QiK8BiLITVsFiyBBIoYqnoewAD4xPw9iY4XLGYSjkQR4UAUD45DLwIAIfkEBQoADwAsAAAAAA8ACQAABC/wyVlamTi3nSdgwFNdhEJgTJoNyoB9ISYoQmdjiZPcj7EYCAeCF1gEDo4Dz2eIAAAh+QQFCgAPACwCAAAADQANAAAEM/DJBxiYeLKdX3IJZT1FU0iIg2RNKx3OkZVnZ98ToRD4MyiDnkAh6BkNC0MvsAj0kMpHBAAh+QQFCgAPACwGAAAACQAPAAAEMDC59KpFDll73HkAA2wVY5KgiK5b0RRoI6MuzG6EQqCDMlSGheEhUAgqgUUAFRySIgAh+QQFCgAPACwCAAIADQANAAAEM/DJKZNLND/kkKaHc3xk+QAMYDKsiaqmZCxGVjSFFCxB1vwy2oOgIDxuucxAMTAJFAJNBAAh+QQFCgAPACwAAAYADwAJAAAEMNAs86q1yaWwwv2Ig0jUZx3OYa4XoRAfwADXoAwfo1+CIjyFRuEho60aSNYlOPxEAAAh+QQFCgAPACwAAAIADQANAAAENPA9s4y8+IUVcqaWJ4qEQozSoAzoIyhCK2NFU2SJk0hNnyEOhKR2AzAAj4Pj4GE4W0bkJQIAOw==) [Dancing Through Depression](https://www.scoop.it/t/dancing-with-depression) Copy Code --- ### [Resilient Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resilient-relationships/) **Published:** December 17, 2016 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** [![how to grow strong relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Tree-image-for-grow-relationships-blog-300x169.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/strong-relationships-solid-self/)#### [What It Takes to Grow Strong Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/strong-relationships-solid-self/) Strong relationships don’t grow by accident. They don’t grow from more empathy, better conflict strategies, or even better communication skills ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/strong-relationships-solid-self/) [![Happy couple in bathrobes holding 'LOVE' balloons, enjoying a cozy moment indoors.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/happy-couple-in-bathrobes-holding-love-balloons-enjoying-a-cozy-moment-indoors.-6439146-scaled-e1738804227262-300x285.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/strengthen-your-relationship/)#### [Turning Toward Love: How to Strengthen Your Relationship This Valentine’s Day](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/strengthen-your-relationship/) As Valentine’s Day approaches, many couples find themselves reflecting on their relationship. If you and your partner often struggle with ... 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[Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/holiday-connection-how-to-be-present-with-your-partner/) [![A close-up of two people of different ethnicities holding hands outdoors, symbolizing unity and support.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/a-close-up-of-two-people-of-different-ethnicities-holding-hands-outdoors-symbolizing-unity-and-support.-10679195-200x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/power-of-kindness-simple-steps-for-kids-and-families/)#### [Power of Kindness: Simple Steps for Kids and Families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/power-of-kindness-simple-steps-for-kids-and-families/) As parents, we play a crucial role in helping our children understand and practice kindness. By modeling compassion and encouraging ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/power-of-kindness-simple-steps-for-kids-and-families/) [![hidden cracks intimate partner violence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/qtq80-DICwFC-300x199.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-hidden-cracks-signs-youre-in-an-abusive-relationship/)#### [The Hidden Cracks: Signs You’re in an Abusive Relationship](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-hidden-cracks-signs-youre-in-an-abusive-relationship/) October marks Domestic Violence Awareness Month, also known as Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) Awareness Month. This blog will help guide ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-hidden-cracks-signs-youre-in-an-abusive-relationship/) [![therapy perceptions holding you back](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/shutterstock_709431595-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/10-misperceptions-effective-therapy/)#### [10 Ways Your (Mis)Perceptions of Therapy Are Holding You Back](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/10-misperceptions-effective-therapy/) Are you getting the most out of your therapy sessions? An important component of effective therapy is understanding how therapy ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/10-misperceptions-effective-therapy/) [![mother burnout](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/woman-stressed-and-kids-burnout-shutterstock_2219077613-300x210.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout-3/)#### [Breaking Free from Burnout: Identifying Causes and Creating Change](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout-3/) Are there mornings when the sound of your alarm fills you with dread, not just because of the busy day ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/burnout-3/) [![DBT 4 modules](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/Mindfulness-3-300x225.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dialectical-behavior-therapy/)#### [Dialectical Behavior Therapy: From a Life of Misery to One Worth Living](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dialectical-behavior-therapy/) We all struggle to manage our emotions. Our self-destructive behaviors get in the way and the result is often that ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dialectical-behavior-therapy/) [![Beautiful Black Woman](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/qtq80-sTeu5b-300x200.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-orgasm-gap-and-what-it-means-for-women/)#### [The Orgasm Gap and What it Means for Women](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-orgasm-gap-and-what-it-means-for-women/) Everyone with a vulva and having sex without an orgasm should continue to read on. Some women say they are ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-orgasm-gap-and-what-it-means-for-women/) - [1](#) - [2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=2&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) - [3](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=3&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) - […](#) - [12](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=12&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) - [›](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=2&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) ![Loading...](data:image/gif;base64,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) [Resilient Relationships](https://www.scoop.it/t/resilient-relationships) --- ### [Befriending Anxiety](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/befriending-anxiety/) **Published:** December 17, 2016 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** [![A captivating shot focusing on a reflection of an eye in a round mirror with Hamburg skyline in the background.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/a-captivating-shot-focusing-on-a-reflection-of-an-eye-in-a-round-mirror-with-hamburg-skyline-in-the-background.-28241065-240x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/why-self-compassion-is-more-powerful-than-self-criticism/)#### [Why Self-Compassion Is More Powerful Than Self-Criticism](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/why-self-compassion-is-more-powerful-than-self-criticism/) Many people live with an inner voice that sounds more like a harsh critic than a supportive coach. It says ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/why-self-compassion-is-more-powerful-than-self-criticism/) [![Vibrant 3D rendering depicting the complexity of neural networks.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/vibrant-3d-rendering-depicting-the-complexity-of-neural-networks.-17484975-300x188.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-calm-an-overactive-brain-after-trauma/)#### [How to Calm an Overactive Brain After Trauma](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-calm-an-overactive-brain-after-trauma/) Trauma is not just something we remember—it physically changes how the brain works. If you’ve ever felt stuck in survival ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-calm-an-overactive-brain-after-trauma/) [![A woman holding a vivid green fern leaf in an autumn forest, showcasing nature's beauty.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/a-woman-holding-a-vivid-green-fern-leaf-in-an-autumn-forest-showcasing-natures-beauty.-612892-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/feel-the-fear-and-grow-anyway-a-simple-how-to/)#### [Feel the Fear And Grow Anyway: A Simple How-To](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/feel-the-fear-and-grow-anyway-a-simple-how-to/) Growth is a buzzword these days, especially with the new year approaching. Everyone talks about goals and strategies for the ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/feel-the-fear-and-grow-anyway-a-simple-how-to/) [![stress response cycle](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/qtq80-uu1p4D-300x199.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/stress-response-cycle/)#### [8 Simple Everyday Ways to Complete the Stress Response Cycle](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/stress-response-cycle/) In today's fast-paced world, stress has become an inevitable aspect of daily life. From work deadlines to family responsibilities and ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/stress-response-cycle/) [![DBT 4 modules](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/Mindfulness-3-300x225.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dialectical-behavior-therapy/)#### [Dialectical Behavior Therapy: From a Life of Misery to One Worth Living](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dialectical-behavior-therapy/) We all struggle to manage our emotions. Our self-destructive behaviors get in the way and the result is often that ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dialectical-behavior-therapy/) [![Mindfulness Rain](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Picture1-300x242.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindfully-weathering-the-storm-with-r-a-i-n/)#### [Mindfully Weathering the Storm with R.A.I.N. ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindfully-weathering-the-storm-with-r-a-i-n/) Mariah Carey’s song, “Through the Rain”, has encouraged many during their personal storms. In our fast-paced world, it is very ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindfully-weathering-the-storm-with-r-a-i-n/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/canstockphoto24429978-scaled-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-time-crisis/)#### [Self-Care in the Time of Crisis](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-time-crisis/) Difficult Times When we face times of personal or global crisis, it can be very easy to neglect self-care due ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-time-crisis/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Holiday-Blues-image-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/beating-the-holiday-blues/)#### [Fa-la-la-la-blah! Beating the Holiday Blues](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/beating-the-holiday-blues/) The holiday season taunts itself as “the most wonderous time of the year,” but is it really? For some, the ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/beating-the-holiday-blues/) [![teen moms and mental health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Sad-mother-cropped-300x226.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/unlocking-signs-secrets-to-baby-blues/)#### [Unlocking the Signs and Secrets to the Baby Blues](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/unlocking-signs-secrets-to-baby-blues/) A woman’s identity changes when she becomes a mother. She starts to become known as so-and-so’s mom. People want to ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/unlocking-signs-secrets-to-baby-blues/) - [1](#) - [2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=2&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) - [3](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=3&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) - […](#) - [5](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=5&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) - [›](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=2&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) ![Loading...](data:image/gif;base64,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) [Befriending Anxiety](http://www.scoop.it/t/befriending-anxiety) --- ### [Depression](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resources/depression/) **Published:** April 18, 2013 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** ### What is Depression? Depression can take a variety of forms and influences each person differently. All depressive disorders are categorized by feelings of sadness but these feelings can also include hopelessness, helplessness and despair. Each type varies in severity and longevity and triggers could be biological, environmental or a combination of both. For these reasons, treatment options differ for each form and it can be challenging to find the best solution without the help of a licensed mental health professional. **[ Major Depressive Disorder](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resources/depression/major-depressive-disorder/)** consists of constant feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. It is pervasive and chronic causing significant impairment to functioning. **Persistent Depressive Disorde**r is a condition in which a person has depression hat lasts over a two year span. **Bipolar Disorder**, formerly called “Manic” Depression, is categorized by alternating periods of high bouts of energy followed by lows with reduced energy and feelings of sadness and hopelessness. Another cyclical form of depression is **Seasonal Affective Disorder** categorized by an episode of major depression during certain times of year , particularly fall and winter, when days are shorter and light is limited. **Psychotic Depressio**n is accompanied with psychotic features such as hallucinations, delusions and paranoia. Often, this form is concurrent with other disorders. Women can experience specific types of depression. When a mother has a child, she may experience **Postpartum Depression** weeks and months after the baby is born. Additionally, some women at the beginning of their cycles experience depressive symptoms in what is known as **Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder**. Temporary and nontraditional forms of depression include **Situational Depressio**n when managing your life after a stressful event becomes hard , such as job loss. **Atypical Depression** occurs when your feelings of depression are not pervasive and are often relieved with a positive event or interaction. **Additional Resources for Depression** ****Articles****- [Screen Time and Depression](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-your-screen-time-depressing/ "Is your screen time depressing?") - [Creating Happiness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/creating-happiness/ "Creating Happiness") - [Lost Places](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/depression-grief/ "Lost Places") - [10 things to say to someone who is depressed](10 Things You Should Say to a Depressed Loved One "10 Things You Should Say to a Depressed Loved One") - [New Baby Blues or Postpartum Depression?](http://psychcentral.com/lib/2013/new-baby-blues-or-postpartum-depression/ "http://psychcentral.com/lib/2013/new-baby-blues-or-postpartum-depression/") - [Finding Peace of Mind: About treatment for Depression](http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=education_brochures_finding_POM "http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=education_brochures_finding_POM") **Great sites about depression:**- [Undoing Depression](http://www.undoingdepression.com "http://www.undoingdepression.com") - [Depression by Mental Health America](http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/go/depression "http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/go/depression") - [Depression by PsychCentral](http://psychcentral.com/disorders/depression/ "Psych Central") - [Wing of Madnes](http://www.wingofmadness.com/ "wing of madness")[s Depression Guide](http://www.wingofmadness.com/ "wing of madness") - [All about Depression](http://www.allaboutdepression.com/index.html "All about Depression") - [Understanding the 12 Types of Depression](https://www.nobu.ai/blog/types-of-depression/) - [Quotes related to Depression](http://www.depression-recovery-life.com/depressed-quote.html "Quotes related to depression") - [Poems related to Depression](http://www.depression-recovery-life.com/depression-poems.html "Poems related to Depression") - [Breaking down myths about depression](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resources/depression/breaking_down_the_myths_about_depression/) **Online surveys to screen depression:**- [How’s your mood? ](http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/llw/depression_screen.cfm "hows your mood?") - [Online Depression Screening Survey](http://psychcentral.com/depquiz.htm "Depression quiz") - [DBSA Wellness Tracker ](http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=wellness_tracker "http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=wellness_tracker") **Books**[![Mindfulness_EightWeekPlanBook](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Mindfulness_EightWeekPlanBook-200x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/resources/depression/mindfulness_eightweekplanbook/)[Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World. Mark Williams and Danny Penman. 2011.](http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Eight-Week-Finding-Peace-Frantic/dp/1609618955/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1366668744&sr=1-1&keywords=mindfulness+an+eight-week+plan+for+finding+peace+in+a+frantic+world "Mindfulness: An Eight Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World") **Organizations**- [Mental Health America](http://www.nmha.org "http://www.nmha.org") - [Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA)](http://www.ndmda.org "http://www.ndmda.org") - [Federation of Families for Children’s Mental Health](http://www.ffcmh.org "http://www.ffcmh.org") - [National Institute of Mental Healt](http://www.nimh.nih.gov/ "http://www.nimh.nih.gov/")h - [National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI)](http://www.nami.org "http://www.nami.org") - **National Hopeline Network** - (800) 442-HOPE - (800) 442-4673 - (800) SUICIDE (800) 784-2433 [![COMPASSION](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Three-hands-with-broken-heart-e1607730942822-300x190.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/when-african-americans-grieve/)#### [When African Americans Grieve](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/when-african-americans-grieve/) This summer, the nation and the world grieved the loss of George Floyd and other victims of police violence. The ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/when-african-americans-grieve/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/canstockphoto24429978-scaled-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-time-crisis/)#### [Self-Care in the Time of Crisis](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-time-crisis/) Difficult Times When we face times of personal or global crisis, it can be very easy to neglect self-care due ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-time-crisis/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/canstockphoto7885910-1-300x192.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/grief-spirituality-intersect/)#### [When Grief and Spirituality Intersect](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/grief-spirituality-intersect/) In light of the recent global novel Coronavirus pandemic that spread and claimed the lives of hundreds of thousands of ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/grief-spirituality-intersect/) [![teen moms and mental health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Sad-mother-cropped-300x226.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/unlocking-signs-secrets-to-baby-blues/)#### [Unlocking the Signs and Secrets to the Baby Blues](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/unlocking-signs-secrets-to-baby-blues/) A woman’s identity changes when she becomes a mother. She starts to become known as so-and-so’s mom. People want to ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/unlocking-signs-secrets-to-baby-blues/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/canstockphoto13026221-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/major-depression/)#### [5 Questions People Who Might Have Major Depression Ask Themselves](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/major-depression/) Major depression or clinical depression can feel overwhelming. Spending time with family and friends or doing activities that were once ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/major-depression/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/postpartum-depresssion-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/baby-blues-gone-bad/)#### [Baby Blues Gone Bad](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/baby-blues-gone-bad/) The promise of new life brings with it anticipation and dreams of a growing family. Happiness is what many of ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/baby-blues-gone-bad/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/Winter-Blues-e1418334783937-300x272.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-it-okay-to-feel-sad-over-the-holidays/)#### [Is it Okay to Feel Sad Over the Holidays?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-it-okay-to-feel-sad-over-the-holidays/) The holiday season is often filled with a mixture of feelings. Many of us believe that we are supposed to ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-it-okay-to-feel-sad-over-the-holidays/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/5178188751_4b09d82538_z-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-power-of-gratitude/)#### [The Power of Positive Emotions](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-power-of-gratitude/) Wired for Danger We have a natural tendency to focus on what goes wrong. Over thousands of years we have ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-power-of-gratitude/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/couple-watching-tv-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-your-screen-time-depressing/)#### [Is your screen time depressing?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-your-screen-time-depressing/) Are you willing to try an experiment? Find something to take notes with. Choose one day this week. Mark the ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/is-your-screen-time-depressing/) - [1](#) - [2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=2&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) - [›](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=2&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) ![Loading...](data:image/gif;base64,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) --- ### [Alana Cotton, Student Therapist](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/alana-cotton-student-therapist/) **Published:** November 4, 2021 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** [![Alana Cotton](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Alana-FL-Headshot-cropped-1.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Alana-FL-Headshot-cropped-1.jpeg)Alana Cotton, Student Therapist ##### Student Therapist ## Alana Cotton Life can be trying, and we all need tools to help us cope. As your therapist, my job is to understand your worldview even if it differs from my own. I strive to create a space where you can share your concerns and thoughts. I am currently pursuing a master’s degree in Marriage and Family therapy at Abilene Christian University and a student therapist under the direct supervision of Dr. Amy Fuller at Fuller Life Institute. At Fuller Life Institute, we provide stellar therapy at rates anyone can afford. I look forward to working with you on your journey to finding peace and achieving a fuller life. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) ## Contact Alana: I see clients at both Fuller Life West, Fuller Life Loop and through tele-mental health. Please call or email for an appointment or submit our secure inquiry form. To schedule an appointment please contact me by email at [Alana@FullerLifeFamilyTherapy.org](mailto:Riya@FullerLifeFamilyTherapy.org), by phone at [(832) 463-2503](tel:+8324632503) or through our [webform.](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) --- --- ### [Magdalena Escobar, Student Therapist](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/magdalena-escobar-student-therapist/) **Published:** June 24, 2022 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** [![Magdalena Escobar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/IMG_8403-edited-scaled.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/IMG_8403-scaled.jpg)Magdalena Escobar, Student Therapist ##### Student Therapist ## Magdalena Escobar I have always had the desire to help others in a more direct way, which has pushed me to pursue a career in counseling. I am a very honest, non-judgmental, and patient person who loves and cares for the well-being of others. I am glad to assist families, groups, and individuals with meeting their goals and overcoming any obstacles they may be facing. My background has given me experience with moving to another country, adapting to another culture, and understanding the challenges of living in a society that predominantly speaks another language. I am a student therapist at Lamar University. I am currently pursuing a master’s degree to become a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) under the supervision of [Amy Fuller Phd](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/amy-fuller-phd/). I have been a teacher for around 9 years, working with students in K-12 classrooms and with adults in academies in Houston TX, and Honduras. Being a teacher has brought me an abundance of joy and has given me the opportunity to work with students on achieving their greatest ambitions. [Request an appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) --- I see clients at Fuller Life West and through tele-mental health. I am available from 9 am to 6 pm Monday to Saturday. You can call me at any time to schedule an appointment or email me if it is best for you. ## How to contact Magdalena: f you are interested in an appointment or more information I can be reached: - phone: [(832) 685-2049](tel:+18326852049) - email: - Webform: [Secure Inquiry Form](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) --- [![sand tray therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/sand-therapy-canstockphoto88760472-300x200.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/magic-sand-tray/)#### [Working it out in the Sand: The Magic of Sand Tray Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/magic-sand-tray/) Sandtray can be used in all modes of therapy and is extremely effective for working through trauma. The use of ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/magic-sand-tray/) --- ### [10 Year Impact](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/10-year-impact/) **Published:** June 11, 2022 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** [10-YEAR-IMPACT-REPORT-FULLER-LIFE-FAMILY-THERAPY](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/10-YEAR-IMPACT-REPORT-FULLER-LIFE-FAMILY-THERAPY.pdf)[Download](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/10-YEAR-IMPACT-REPORT-FULLER-LIFE-FAMILY-THERAPY.pdf) [10-YEAR-IMPACT-REPORT-FULLER-LIFE-FAMILY-THERAPY](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/10-YEAR-IMPACT-REPORT-FULLER-LIFE-FAMILY-THERAPY.pdf)[Download](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/10-YEAR-IMPACT-REPORT-FULLER-LIFE-FAMILY-THERAPY.pdf) --- ### [Gala](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gala/) **Published:** February 5, 2022 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** \[rev\_slider alias=”slider-2″\]\[/rev\_slider\] [BUY TICKETS OR TABLES](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/default.asp?pagenum=113) [SPONSOR THE EVENT](http://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/default.asp?pagenum=115) ## For 10 years, Fuller Life has been growing hope here in Houston. Here’s how: [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/about/) ### Changing Lives Since 2012, Fuller Life Family Therapy has been bringing hope to the lives of Houstonians by offering stellar [therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/about/) at rates anyone can afford. [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/) ### Equiping Therapists Since 2012, Our postgraduate [training](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-training/) program has been developing [top-notch therapists](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/our-graduates/) to help people heal and even grow from the pain that they carry. [](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/partner/) ### Giving Hope Since 2012, a generous community of [givers](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/partner/) have made it possible for people in Houston to access therapy at a rate they can afford and live meaningful lives, where pain doesn’t define them. ## Join us for our 10-year Birthday Gala! **Thursday**, **May 12, 2022 at 7 PM** Junior League of Houston 1811 Briar Oaks Lane, Houston TX 77027 Attire is Semi-Formal If you’re interested in equipping the next generation of quality therapists, passionate about making mental health more accessible and affordable, then join us for an evening of joy, food and music as we celebrate 10 years of growth with Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute. Your support will enable us to train, empower and support developing therapists who provide professional therapy to families and individuals at affordable rates. [BUY TICKETS OR TABLES](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/default.asp?pagenum=113) [SPONSOR THE EVENT](http://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/default.asp?pagenum=115) ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Jaquia-Abreau-938x1024.jpeg)[Jaquia Abreu, Gully Thoughts](https://abettermewellness.com) ## Jaquia Abreu Jaquia Abreu is the founder and owner of [GullyThoughts LLC](https://www.gullythoughts.com) where she brings mental health awareness and suicide prevention awareness to the community by way of online courses, books, workbooks, events and workshops. She is also the author of the poetry book, [Unorthodox Words,](https://www.gullythoughts.com/unorthodox-words-poetry-book) that touches on her journey of dealing with depression and how she has now found hope to want to be alive again. Whether it is her performing her poetry on the Houston Improv stage, or her hanging with her friends and family, she just wants to pass that same hope to others. ## [Stephanie Jordan LPC](https://abettermewellness.com) Stephanie was a Resident Therapist at Fuller Life from 2018 to 2021. After 20 years in corporate America, Stephanie answered the call to become a therapist. She holds a Masters of Arts degree in Counseling and a Certificate in Spiritual Direction from Houston Graduate School of Theology and received her undergraduate degree in Psychology from the University of Southern California. Her personal mission is “to equip those with broken spirits to find healing in pursuit of their best life.” She fervently believes that therapy can produce healing in the flesh, and God can heal the spirit. She encourages clients to learn from their own struggles, discover their authentic self, and live a life of freedom, hope, and possibility in her Private Practice, [A Better Me Wellness](https://abettermewellness.com). ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Stephanie-Jordan-LPC-headshot-1024x929.jpeg)[Stephanie Jordan LPC, A Better Me Welness](https://abettermewellness.com) ## Sponsor the event and let people know you care about Mental Health Care in Houston Become a champion of mental health care in Houston and sponsor [Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/) as we celebrate our 10th year of growth with a Birthday Gala. This opportunity is a way to show a large number of people that you, your organization or business care about making mental health care and family therapy both affordable and accessible to Houstonians. Our low-cost, top-notch therapy is only made possible by a generous giving community, which we invite you to be a part of. Your sponsorship allows us to continue to meet the needs of so many people who may struggle to get the compassionate care they need to live a meaningful life. ## SPONSORSHIP LEVELS #### CHAMPION #### $10,000 - 20 tickets Premium Seating - Large Logo on Event Banner, Materials and Screens - 6 Counseling Sessions for to use or donate - Logo on Website and Newsletter for one year - Full Page Ad in Program - Highlight on Social Media - Sponsor Plaque - Host Recognition. #### ACTIVIST #### $5,000 - 10 tickets Premium Seating - Large Logo on Event Banner, Materials and Screens - Logo on Website and Newsletter for one year - Half-page Ad in Program - Highlight on Social Media - Sponsor Plaque - Host Recognition #### AMBASSADOR #### $2,500 - 10 tickets to Event. - Medium Logo on Event Materials - Logo on Website for 6 months - Quarter Page Ad in Program. - Highlight on Social Media - Sponsor Frame - Host Recognition. [BUY TICKETS OR TABLES](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/default.asp?pagenum=113) [SPONSOR THE EVENT](http://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/default.asp?pagenum=115) #### advocate #### $1000 - 10 tickets - Small Logo on Event Materials and Screens - Quarter Page Ad in Program - Highlight on Social Media - Sponsor Plaque - Host Recognition. #### Ally #### $500 - 5 tickets - Small Logo on Event Materials - Host Recognition #### supporter #### $95 - 1 ticket to Event. [BUY TICKETS OR TABLES](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/default.asp?pagenum=113) [SPONSOR THE EVENT](http://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/default.asp?pagenum=115) By becoming a sponsor at the champion, activist or ambassador level, your name and logo for will reach over 9,000 new users through our website, 2,000 email users monthly, and over 500 people though the event invitations and at our celebration gala, showing the community your support for the mental, emotional and relational health of Houstonians. Your investment in Fuller Life will bring true change, allowing individuals, couples, and families access to compassionate care so they can heal or even grow from the pain they carry, as well as enable us to continue our post-graduate training program sending truly top-notch therapists out into the world to change lives. Sponsors who commit **before March 28, 2012** will have their logo included on the event invitation. Send advertising materials to [Margarita@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org](mailto:Abby@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org). If you have any questions or would like to pay via check to reduce online transaction fees, please email . ## Not ready to sponsor? Make a donation! ## Can’t make the event? Sponsor and donate back your tickets. [DONATE NOW](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/DonationForm.asp?DonationFormNum=1&Amount=) --- ### [Gala Sponsorship Form](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sponsorship/) **Published:** January 27, 2022 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** --- ### [Healing Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/healing-practices-2/) **Published:** December 17, 2016 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** [Healing Practices](http://www.scoop.it/t/healing-practices) --- ### [Steps for starting therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/counseling-forms/) **Published:** May 30, 2012 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** ## How to get started in therapy ![contact us fuller life](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/contact-canstockphoto15905610-1024x683.jpg) # 1. contact US The first step is to reach out to us. You can click the green contact us button to complete our [secure inquiry form](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91). A therapist will follow up with you within 2 business days. For faster scheduling please call 855-245-5433. [Contact Us](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) # 2. connect Talk to one of our team members about your interest in therapy by phone. We’ll discuss the best options and answer any questions you may have. After an appointment is set, you will receive an email with confirmation and instructions on what to complete prior to the initial appointment. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/phone-canstockphoto6128395-984x1024.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/phone-canstockphoto6128395.jpg) # 3. COMPLETE THE FORMS AND INITIAL SURVEYS Once you have scheduled, you will receive an email with a link to the forms to complete via our [client portal](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=97). From here you can set your own password, complete the initial session form, consent to treatment and financial agreement. Each person attending therapy needs to complete the confidential initial session form. If minors are attending, please complete one form for each child or adolescent. If you have any difficulty or do not receive the email please notify your therapist by calling 855-245-5433 or email . ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/survey-canstockphoto84575069-1024x683.jpg) ###### Routine outcome measures In order to provide the best services possible, we track progress over the course of therapy using routine outcome measures, also called feedback informed treatment. Research has shown that using tools to track client progress in therapy doubles the likelihood of effective therapy and a meaningful outcome. The initial set of assessments may take between 20 to 30 minutes to complete, so please allow enough time to complete prior to the initial appointment. You will receive the link to the initial survey set in the initial email with a link to the portal documents. Prior to each session you will be asked to complete a brief survey set before the session. The survey link will be sent by email, SMS or both, according to your preference. Every 5th session we will ask you to complete a re-assessment of some of the initial surveys to measure your progress over time. If you ever have questions about our new Routine Outcome Measures process or would like to discuss the results, please discuss with your therapist. # 4. Read our information for new clients Please read over privacy practices, social media, and communication policies at your convenience in our [information for new clients](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/New-Clients-Info-FL-2018.pdf). Privacy practices are also posted in our offices to make it easy for our clients to access at any time. ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/door-canstockphoto12129501-1024x746.jpg) # 5. Come in We are excited to join in your journey of addressing the things that seem overwhelming and journeying alongside you toward healing. [Request an Appointment](https://cm2fullerlife.neworg.com/Default.asp?PageNum=91) --- ### [Speaking Engagements](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/therapists-help/counseling-speakers/) **Published:** March 26, 2012 **Author:** FullerLife **Content:** [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Amy-speak-ACU1623713_10152578020517738_675169463_n.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Amy-speak-ACU1623713_10152578020517738_675169463_n.jpg) ## Speaking Engagements Are you looking for a speaker for your next event? The staff at Fuller Life would love to help! We are equipped to share tips, stories, training and inspiration for many types of gatherings from large to small. Our staff has spoken at retreats, corporate trainings and conferences. Email us for more information: . Contact Us: info@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org --- ### [Personal Bill of Rights](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/personal-bill-of-rights/) **Published:** September 11, 2014 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** [![awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/canstockphoto15436119-e1391634917308.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/canstockphoto15436119-e1391634917308.jpg) Assertiveness is based on balance. It requires being forthright about our wants and needs while still considering the rights, needs, and wants of others. When we practice assertiveness, we ask for what we want and realize that other’s needs and wants are equally important. Assertive people practice fairness and empathy with themselves and others. The power we use comes from self-assurance and not from intimidation or bullying. When we treat others with dignity and respect, we are likely to get that same treatment in return. 1. I have the right to ask for what I need. 2. I have the right to say no to requests or demands I can’t meet. 3. I have the right to express my feelings, both positive and negative. 4. I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect. 5. I have the right to change my mind. 6. I have the right to follow my own values and standards. 7. I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe, or it violates my values. 8. I have the right to determine my own priorities. 9. I have the right *not* to be responsible for others’ behavior, actions, feelings, or problems. 10. I have the right to expect honesty from others. 11. I have the right to be angry at someone I love. 12. I have the right to be uniquely myself. 13. I have the right to feel scared and say “I’m afraid.” 14. I have the right to say “I don’t know. 15. I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behavior. 16. I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings. 17. I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time. 18. I have the right to be playful and frivolous. 19. I have the right to be healthier than those around me. 20. I have the right to be in a non-abusive environment. 21. I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people. 22. I have the right to change and grow. 23. I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others. 24. I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect. 25. I have the right to be happy. Bourne, E. J. (2005). *The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook, 4th Edition*. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications. --- ### [Blog Grid](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/blog-grid/) **Published:** December 17, 2016 **Author:** AmyFullerPhD **Content:** [![self-kindness nurturing your inner adult](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/21-300x214.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-kindness/)#### [The Self-Kindness Your Inner Adult Deserves](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-kindness/) Most of us have said things to ourselves we'd never say to a friend. "Get it together." "Stop being so ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-kindness/) [![A captivating shot focusing on a reflection of an eye in a round mirror with Hamburg skyline in the background.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/a-captivating-shot-focusing-on-a-reflection-of-an-eye-in-a-round-mirror-with-hamburg-skyline-in-the-background.-28241065-240x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/why-self-compassion-is-more-powerful-than-self-criticism/)#### [Why Self-Compassion Is More Powerful Than Self-Criticism](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/why-self-compassion-is-more-powerful-than-self-criticism/) Many people live with an inner voice that sounds more like a harsh critic than a supportive coach. It says ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/why-self-compassion-is-more-powerful-than-self-criticism/) [![Orange and black butterfly perched on white flowers in a garden setting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/qtq80-vDBsN6-300x225.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-the-powerful-practice-of-creating-a-life-you-dont-need-to-escape/)#### [Self-Care: The Powerful Practice of Creating a Life You Don’t Need to Escape](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-the-powerful-practice-of-creating-a-life-you-dont-need-to-escape/) When people hear the words self-care, they often imagine expensive spa days, long vacations, or perfectly planned morning routines. But ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-care-the-powerful-practice-of-creating-a-life-you-dont-need-to-escape/) [![Hands touching a glass surface outdoors with trees reflecting, creating a serene ambiance.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/hands-touching-a-glass-surface-outdoors-with-trees-reflecting-creating-a-serene-ambiance.-9702267-259x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-confrontation-the-key-to-growth-without-shame/)#### [Self-Confrontation: The Key to Growth Without Shame](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-confrontation-the-key-to-growth-without-shame/) What Is Self-Confrontation? Self-confrontation starts with self-compassion and self-awareness. In other words, before you can face yourself honestly, you need ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-confrontation-the-key-to-growth-without-shame/) [![Waking up and self-awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Blog-Banner-Image-lake-300x169.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-regulation-in-relationships-how-to-improve-communication-and-emotional-control/)#### [Self-Regulation in Relationships: How to Improve Communication and Emotional Control](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-regulation-in-relationships-how-to-improve-communication-and-emotional-control/) The Importance of Self-Regulation in Relationships Most people want to stay calm during difficult conversations. They want to communicate clearly, ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-regulation-in-relationships-how-to-improve-communication-and-emotional-control/) [![how to grow strong relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Tree-image-for-grow-relationships-blog-300x169.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/strong-relationships-solid-self/)#### [What It Takes to Grow Strong Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/strong-relationships-solid-self/) Strong relationships don’t grow by accident. They don’t grow from more empathy, better conflict strategies, or even better communication skills ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/strong-relationships-solid-self/) [![Person underwater with eyes open, representing self-awareness and the effort of staying awake rather than avoiding inner experience.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/evelyn-verdin-Z543CMKt5o0-unsplash-300x225.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-awareness-staying-awake/)#### [Self-Awareness: How Your Survival Instincts Keep You Asleep](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-awareness-staying-awake/) Most of us don’t realize we’ve fallen asleep until something jolts us awake. It might be snapping at someone we ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/self-awareness-staying-awake/) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/Be-well-Images-2025-8-300x200.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/bewell/)#### [31 Days of Wellness to Wrap Up Your Year](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/bewell/) Be well, give wellness Wrap up your year with 31 days of Wellness Each day in December, our mental health ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/bewell/) [![mindful moments in nature](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/qtq80-eq7W8T-300x200.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-moments-in-nature-how-to-be-well/)#### [Mindful Moments in Nature: How to Be Well](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-moments-in-nature-how-to-be-well/) When life feels noisy, crowded, or moving too fast, nature quietly invites us back to ourselves. Spending time outdoors doesn’t ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/mindful-moments-in-nature-how-to-be-well/) [![recognize teen suicide](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/a-young-man-helps-his-friend-after-a-fall-on-urban-steps-showcasing-friendship-and-support.-5370343-200x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/help-hurting-teens-how-to-recognize-and-respond-to-suicide-risk/)#### [Help Hurting Teens: How to Recognize and Respond to Suicide Risk](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/help-hurting-teens-how-to-recognize-and-respond-to-suicide-risk/) Suicide, as defined by the World Health Organization (WHO), is the deliberate act of ending one’s own life. Tragically, it ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/help-hurting-teens-how-to-recognize-and-respond-to-suicide-risk/) [![Two teenagers in casual attire, standing outdoors with a modern backdrop, smiling.](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/two-teenagers-in-casual-attire-standing-outdoors-with-a-modern-backdrop-smiling.-4816754-300x169.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-spot-bullying-in-boys-and-intervene-early/)#### [How to Spot Bullying in Boys and Intervene Early](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-spot-bullying-in-boys-and-intervene-early/) Bullying is not just “kids being kids.” For adolescent boys, it can cause lasting harm to mental health, school performance, ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/how-to-spot-bullying-in-boys-and-intervene-early/) [![Black Teenage Girl](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/teen-canstockphoto89094807-scaled-e1630989903498-300x300.jpg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-truth-about-teen-girls-and-mental-health-in-2025/)#### [The Truth About Teen Girls and Mental Health in 2025](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-truth-about-teen-girls-and-mental-health-in-2025/) Today’s teens are dealing with a lot. Social media, pressure to succeed in school, and worries at home can all ... [Read More](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/the-truth-about-teen-girls-and-mental-health-in-2025/) - [1](#) - [2](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=2&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) - [3](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=3&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) - […](#) - [19](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=19&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) - [›](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php/?_page=2&action=as_async_request_queue_runner&nonce=d25391a41b) ![Loading...](data:image/gif;base64,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) --- ### [Social Skills](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/social-skills/) **Published:** September 13, 2012 **Author:** JenniferChristian **Content:** Social Thinking Skills Training focuses on six goals : 1. Gaining perspective 2. Establishing impulse control 3. Discovering peer expectations 4. Developing conversation skills 5. Practicing anxiety management 6. Engaging in peer reaction planning [LifeTrek](http://lifetreksolutions.com/content.php?id=92) [Social Motion Skills](http://www.socialmotionskills.org/) --- ## Locations ### [Fuller Life North at Bammel Church](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/location/fuller-life-north-at-bammel-church/) **Published:** June 8, 2024 **Author:** Shayla Johnson **Content:** ## Fuller Life North at Bammel [2700 Cypress Creek Parkway, Houston TX ](https://www.google.com/maps/place/2700+Cypress+Creek+Pkwy,+Houston,+TX+77068/@30.004481,-95.4732348,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m6!3m5!1s0x8640cb79712aa36f:0xf7d32834dae1fd6f!8m2!3d30.0044764!4d-95.4706545!16s%2Fg%2F11bw40n8_m?entry=ttu) In partnership with the Bammel Church of Christ - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Door-at-Bammel-1024x768.png) - ![Fuller Life North](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Fuller-Life-North-at-Bammel.png) - ![bench at bummed](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Bench-at-Bammel-1024x768.jpeg) - ![Widalis](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Widalis-Round-Team-Headshots.png) - ![Brandyn Treat therapist with Fuller Life Family Therapy in Houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/FL-Headshot-Round-Brandyn.png) - ![Erin Viramontes a therapist with Fuller Life Family Therapy in Houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/Erin-V-Round-Team-Headshots.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Door-at-Bammel-scaled.png) - ![Fuller Life North](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Fuller-Life-North-at-Bammel.png) - ![bench at bummed](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Bench-at-Bammel-scaled.jpeg) - ![Widalis](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Widalis-Round-Team-Headshots.png) - ![Brandyn Treat therapist with Fuller Life Family Therapy in Houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/FL-Headshot-Round-Brandyn.png) - ![Erin Viramontes a therapist with Fuller Life Family Therapy in Houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/Erin-V-Round-Team-Headshots.png) Come to the first sign as you enter the Church parking lot to find the offices of spiritual direction and counseling. The doorbell lets your therapist know you have arrived. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/FL-Headshot-Round-Brandyn.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/brandyn-treat/) [](mailto:brandyn@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/brandyn-treat/)[](https://www.linkedin.com/in/brandyn-treat-30a140b5/) ##### Brandyn Treat Resident Therapist [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Erin-V-Round-Team-Headshots.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/erin/) [](mailto:erin@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/erin/)[](https://www.linkedin.com/in/erinjviramontes/) ##### Erin Viramontes Resident Therapist --- ### [Fuller Life at West Orem](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/location/fuller-life-at-west-orem/) **Published:** January 28, 2026 **Author:** Shayla Johnson **Content:** - ![Gisselle Balderas Spanish speaking therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy in Houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Gisselle-Balderas-Round-Team-Headshots.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/West-Orem-YMCA.png) [5801 West Orem Drive, Houston, 77085](https://maps.app.goo.gl/s2LEmJFAFukkye466) In partnership with the West Orem YMCA When you arrive check in at the counter and say you are there to see Fuller Life. They will let the therapist know you have arrived. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Gisselle-Balderas-Round-Team-Headshots.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gisselle/) [](mailto:gisselle@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gisselle/)[](https://www.linkedin.com/in/gisselle-balderas-484a13183/)[](http://tel+18322254714) ##### Gisselle Balderas Bilingual Resident Therapist --- ### [Fuller Life East at NIA](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/location/fuller-life-east-at-nia/) **Published:** June 8, 2024 **Author:** Shayla Johnson **Content:** ## Fuller Life East at Neighbors in Action [7927 Flaxman St, Houston, TX 77029](https://www.google.com/maps/place/7927+Flaxman+St,+Houston,+TX+77029/@29.75924,-95.2859548,16z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m6!3m5!1s0x8640bc6c70d79f4b:0x3bcd8eaf0fe3356!8m2!3d29.75924!4d-95.2859548!16s%2Fg%2F11bw4l95fw?entry=ttu) - ![Neighbors in Action](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Neigbors-in-Action.png) - ![Fuller Life East at NIA Therapy Room](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Fuller-Life-East-at-NIA-waiting-room-769x1024.jpg) - ![Widalis Roque, Spanish speaking therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy in Houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Fuller-LIfe-East-at-NIA-therapy-roompng-768x1024.jpeg) - ![Widalis](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Widalis-Round-Team-Headshots.png) - ![Gisselle Balderas Spanish speaking therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy in Houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Gisselle-Balderas-Round-Team-Headshots.png) - ![Neighbors in Action](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Neigbors-in-Action.png) - ![Fuller Life East at NIA Therapy Room](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Fuller-Life-East-at-NIA-waiting-room.jpg) - ![Widalis Roque, Spanish speaking therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy in Houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Fuller-LIfe-East-at-NIA-therapy-roompng.jpeg) - ![Widalis](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Widalis-Round-Team-Headshots.png) - ![Gisselle Balderas Spanish speaking therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy in Houston](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Gisselle-Balderas-Round-Team-Headshots.png) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Gisselle-Balderas-Round-Team-Headshots.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gisselle/) [](mailto:gisselle@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gisselle/)[](https://www.linkedin.com/in/gisselle-balderas-484a13183/)[](http://tel+18322254714) ##### Gisselle Balderas Bilingual Resident Therapist [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Zoila-Round.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/zoila-medina/) [](http://zoila@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/zoila-medina/)[](http://www.linkedin.com/in/zoila-medina-mencos-b98883116)[](http://tel+17137147978) ##### Zoila Medina Bilingual Graduate Therapist --- ### [Fuller Life Loop](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/location/fuller-life-loop/) **Published:** June 8, 2024 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** ## Fuller Life Loop [4545 Bissonnet, Suite 289, Bellaire, TX 77401](https://www.google.com/maps/place/Fuller+Life+Family+Therapy+Institute/@29.7143087,-95.4538085,15z/data=!4m5!3m4!1s0x0:0x6200c7bfb9f559fe!8m2!3d29.7143087!4d-95.4538085) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/4545-Bissonnet-Amy-Fuller-Phd-Fuller-LIfe-Family-Therapy-Office-Houston-Texas.jpg-1024x580.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Fuller-Life-Family-Therapy-Green-Room-Houston-Texas-copy-1024x682.jpg) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Fuller-Life-Family-Therapy-Blue-Art-Play-Therapy-room-1024x668.jpg) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/DSC00856-1024x768.jpg) - ![Fuller Life north at Bammel](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Fuller-Life-Familiy-Therapy-Plum-Room-Houston-texas-717x1024.jpg) - ![purple office](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Purple-Office-1024x768.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/4545-Bissonnet-Amy-Fuller-Phd-Fuller-LIfe-Family-Therapy-Office-Houston-Texas.jpg.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Fuller-Life-Family-Therapy-Green-Room-Houston-Texas-copy.jpg) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Fuller-Life-Family-Therapy-Blue-Art-Play-Therapy-room.jpg) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/DSC00856-e1486935061850.jpg) - ![Fuller Life north at Bammel](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Fuller-Life-Familiy-Therapy-Plum-Room-Houston-texas.jpg) - ![purple office](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Purple-Office-scaled.png) [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Dormetra-FL-Headshot-1.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dormetrahenry/) [](mailto:dormetra@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/dormetrahenry/)[](https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-thompson-102139145/) ##### Dormetra Henry Clinical Therapist [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/FL-Headshot-Round-Brandyn.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/brandyn-treat/) [](mailto:brandyn@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/brandyn-treat/)[](https://www.linkedin.com/in/brandyn-treat-30a140b5/)[](http://tel+18322245961) ##### Brandyn Treat Resident Therapist [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/Jessicas-Round-Headshot.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/jessica-coufal/) [](mailto:jessica@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/jessica-coufal/)[](http://tel+17135893706) ##### Jessica Coufal Graduate Therapist [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Shireen-Round.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shireen-rand/) [](http://shireen@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shireen-rand/)[](http://8326852030) ##### Shireen Rand Graduate Therapist [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Ruth-Round.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/ruth/) [](mailto:ruth@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/ruth/)[](http://+18323563296) ##### Ruth Hamstra Resident Therapist [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Gisselle-Balderas-Round-Team-Headshots.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gisselle/) [](mailto:gisselle@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/gisselle/)[](https://www.linkedin.com/in/gisselle-balderas-484a13183/)[](http://tel+18322254714) ##### Gisselle Balderas Bilingual Resident Therapist [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/IMG_9863-scaled.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sika-apaloo/) [](mailto:sika@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sika-apaloo/)[](https://www.linkedin.com/in/sikaapaloo/)[](http://+18325218808) ##### Sika Apaloo Resident Therapist [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-Headshot.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) [](mailto:shayla@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/)[](https://www.linkedin.com/in/shayla-johnson-397266a6/)[](http://tel++18326852049) ##### Shayla Johnson Resident Therapist / Operations Manager --- ### [Fuller Life West](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/location/fuller-life-west/) **Published:** June 8, 2024 **Author:** Amy Fuller PhD **Content:** ## Fuller Life West at Quillian Center 10570 Westpark Dr, Houston, TX 77042 - ![Fuller life west](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/January-Feb-2026-Fuller-Life-22-1024x768.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/January-Feb-2026-Fuller-Life-24-768x1024.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/January-Feb-2026-Fuller-Life-21-768x1024.png) - ![Fuller life west ](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/January-Feb-2026-Fuller-Life-22-scaled.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/January-Feb-2026-Fuller-Life-24-scaled.png) - ![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/January-Feb-2026-Fuller-Life-21-scaled.png) The office is located in the Administration Offices at the Quillian Center on the far west side of the campus. [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/IMG_9863-scaled.jpeg)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sika-apaloo/) [](mailto:sika@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/sika-apaloo/)[](https://www.linkedin.com/in/sikaapaloo/)[](http://+18325218808) ##### Sika Apaloo Resident Therapist [![](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Shayla-FL-Headshot.png)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/) [](mailto:shayla@fullerlifefamilytherapy.org)[](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/shayla-johnson/)[](https://www.linkedin.com/in/shayla-johnson-397266a6/)[](http://tel++18326852049) ##### Shayla Johnson Resident Therapist / Operations Manager **Location Categories:** Fuller Life West at Quillian --- ## Categories ### [Counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/) **Description:** Counseling | --- ### [Marriage](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/marriage-counseling/) **Description:** Marriage | Counseling tools that help couples create healthy interactions within marriage relationships. --- ### [Couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/couples-therapy/) **Description:** Couples | Counseling tools that help couples create healthy interactions within relationships. --- ### [Self-Care Practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/) **Description:** Self-Care Practices | Self-care practices that compliment the counseling process. --- ### [Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/) **Description:** Relationships | Counseling tools that help create healthy interactions within relationships. --- ### [Family Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/family-counseling/) **Description:** Family Therapy | Counseling tools that help families create healthy interactions within relationships --- ### [Parenting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/counseling-families/) **Description:** Parenting | Counseling tools that help create healthy interactions between parents and children. New Parents Parents of young Children Parents of adolescents Girls vs. Boys Parenting before during and after divorce. Coparenting counts! Parenting children with ADD/ADHD Parenting children with severe illness Parenting after Trauma/Grief --- ### [Anxiety & Panic](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/anxiety/) **Description:** Anxiety & Panic | --- ### [Depression](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/depression/) **Description:** Depression | --- ### [Anger Management](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/anger/) **Description:** Anger Management | Counseling tools that empower individuals to manage their anger and improve relationships with others. --- ### [Grief](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/grief/) **Description:** Grief | --- ### [Communication](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/communication/) **Description:** Communication | --- ### [Addiction & Recovery](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/addiction-recovery/) **Description:** Addiction & Recovery | --- ### [Divorce](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/divorce/) **Description:** Divorce | Counseling tools that help couples incorporate self-care and navigate through the challenges of divorce. --- ### [Premarital](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/premarital/) **Description:** Premarital | Counseling tools that help couples improve communications and explore expectations for the marriage relationship. --- ### [Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/) **Description:** Mental Health | Counseling tools related to mental health --- ### [Blended Families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/blended-families/) **Description:** Blended Families | --- ### [Empathy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/communication/empathy/) **Description:** Empathy | --- ### [Domestic Violence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/domestic-violence/) **Description:** Domestic Violence | --- ### [Infidelity](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/infidelity/) **Description:** Infidelity | --- ### [Intimacy & Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/intimacy-sex-therapy/) **Description:** Intimacy & Sex Therapy | --- ### [Gender Differences](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/gender-differences/) **Description:** Gender Differences | --- ### [Trauma and Loss](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/) **Description:** Trauma and Loss | --- ### [Emotions and Relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/emotions-and-relationships/) **Description:** Emotions and Relationships | --- ### [Boundaries](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/relationships/boundaries-relationships/) **Description:** Boundaries | --- ### [Bipolar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/bipolar/) **Description:** Bipolar | --- ### [Eating Disorders](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/eating-disorders/) **Description:** Eating Disorders | --- ### [Sleep Disorders](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/sleep-disorders/) **Description:** Sleep Disorders | --- ### [Personality Disorders](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/personality-disorders/) **Description:** Personality Disorders | --- ### [Suicide Awareness (Crisis Info)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/suicide-awareness-crisis-info/) **Description:** Suicide Awareness (Crisis Info) | --- ### [EMDR](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/emdr/) **Description:** EMDR | --- ### [Cognitive Reframing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/cognitive-reframing/) **Description:** Cognitive Reframing | --- ### [Self-Validation (affirmations)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/trauma-and-loss/self-validation-affirmations/) **Description:** Self-Validation (affirmations) | --- ### [The Human Brain](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/the-human-brain/) **Description:** The Human Brain | --- ### [Breath Work](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/breath-work/) **Description:** Breath Work | --- ### [Stress Management](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/stress-management/) **Description:** Stress Management | --- ### [Mindfulness Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/mindfulness-practice/) **Description:** Mindfulness Practice | --- ### [Compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/compassion-self-care/) **Description:** Compassion | --- ### [Gratitude](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/gratitude/) **Description:** Gratitude | --- ### [Time Management](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/time-management/) **Description:** Time Management | --- ### [Centering Prayer](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/centering-prayer/) **Description:** Centering Prayer | --- ### [Spirituality](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-care/spirituality/) **Description:** Spirituality | --- ### [Adolescents & Children](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/) **Description:** Adolescents & Children | --- ### [Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/play-therapy/) **Description:** Play Therapy | --- ### [Child Abuse (Safety)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/child-abuse/) **Description:** Child Abuse (Safety) | --- ### [ADD-ADHD](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/add-adhd/) **Description:** ADD-ADHD | --- ### [Depression, Bipolar](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/depression-bipolar/) **Description:** Depression, Bipolar | --- ### [Anxiety Issues](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/anxiety-issues/) **Description:** Anxiety Issues | --- ### [Developmental Disorders](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/developmental-disorders/) **Description:** Developmental Disorders | --- ### [Self-Esteem](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/self-esteem/) **Description:** Self-Esteem | --- ### [Social Skills](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/social-skills/) **Description:** Social Skills | --- ### [Sexual Education](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/sexual-education/) **Description:** Sexual Education | --- ### [Emotional Intelligence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/adolescents-children/emotional-intelligence/) **Description:** Emotional Intelligence | --- ### [Sticky](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/sticky/) **Description:** Sticky | --- ### [Cognitive Reframing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/cognitive-reframing-3/) **Description:** Cognitive Reframing | --- ### [Problem Solving](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/problem-solving/) **Description:** Problem Solving | --- ### [Unemployment](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/unemployment/) **Description:** Unemployment | --- ### [Parenting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/parenting/) **Description:** Parenting | --- ### [Post Partum Depression](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health/post-partum-depression/) **Description:** Post Partum Depression | --- ### [Self-Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-awareness/) **Description:** Self-Awareness | --- ### [Lifestyle](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/lifestyle/) **Description:** Lifestyle | --- ### [transitions](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/transitions/) **Description:** transitions | --- ### [Covid-19](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/covid-19/) **Description:** Covid-19 | --- ### [Teletherapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/counseling/teletherapy/) **Description:** Teletherapy | --- ### [mental health,](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/mental-health-3/) **Description:** mental health, | --- ### [Financial Issues](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/financial-issues/) **Description:** Financial Issues | --- ### [Self-Development](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/self-development/) **Description:** Self-Development | --- ### [Partnership](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/partnership/) **Description:** Partnership | --- ### [Art Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/category/art-therapy/) **Description:** Art Therapy | --- ## Tags ### [Marriage therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/marriage-therapy-2/) --- ### [family therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/family-therapy/) --- ### [counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/counseling-2/) --- ### [counseling for couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/counseling-for-couples/) --- ### [relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/relationships-2/) --- ### [couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/couples/) --- ### [families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/families/) --- ### [marriage](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/marriage/) --- ### [self-care](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/self-care-2/) --- ### [therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/therapy/) --- ### [parenting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/parenting/) --- ### [love](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/love/) --- ### [anxiety](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/anxiety-2/) --- ### [depression](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/depression-2/) --- ### [acceptance](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/acceptance/) --- ### [anger](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/anger-2/) --- ### [grief](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/grief-2/) --- ### [compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/compassion/) --- ### [faith](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/faith/) --- ### [Empathy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/empathy/) --- ### [mindfulness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/mindfulness/) --- ### [Marital Satisfaction](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/marital-satisfaction/) --- ### [Curiosity](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/curiosity/) --- ### [decisions](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/decisions/) --- ### [boundaries](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/boundaries/) --- ### [emotions](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/emotions/) --- ### [vulnerability](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/vulnerability/) --- ### [stress](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/stress/) --- ### [gratitude](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/gratitude-2/) --- ### [stress management](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/stress-management-2/) --- ### [gratefulness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/gratefulness/) --- ### [Bowen](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/bowen/) --- ### [mental health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/mental-health-2/) --- ### [Valentines Day](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/valentines-day/) --- ### [Romance](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/romance/) --- ### [Couples exercises](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/couples-exercises/) --- ### [Romantic ideas](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/romantic-ideas/) --- ### [anger management](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/anger-management/) --- ### [Parenting with Love and Logic](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/parenting-with-love-and-logic/) --- ### [Foster Cline](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/foster-cline/) --- ### [Jim Fay](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/jim-fay/) --- ### [emotions and relationships](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/emotions-and-relationships-2/) --- ### [emotional intelligence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/emotional-intelligence-2/) --- ### [social skills](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/social-skills-2/) --- ### [self-care practices](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/self-care-practices/) --- ### [time management](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/time-management-2/) --- ### [family](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/family/) --- ### [relationships. couples](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/relationships-couples/) --- ### [self-esteem](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/self-esteem-2/) --- ### [adolescents and children](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/adolescents-and-children/) --- ### [loss](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/loss/) --- ### [trauma](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/trauma/) --- ### [panic](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/panic/) --- ### [Premarital counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/premarital-counseling/) --- ### [blended families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/blended-families-2/) --- ### [conflict resolution](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/conflict-resolution/) --- ### [marriage expectations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/marriage-expectations/) --- ### [engaged couple](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/engaged-couple/) --- ### [wedding preparations](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/wedding-preparations/) --- ### [mindfulness practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/mindfulness-practice-2/) --- ### [breath work](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/breath-work-2/) --- ### [fear](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/fear/) --- ### [Transitions](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/transitions/) --- ### [divorce](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/divorce-2/) --- ### [family stress](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/family-stress/) --- ### [listening](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/listening/) --- ### [Self-Care Practice](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/self-care-practice/) --- ### [spirituality](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/spirituality-2/) --- ### [centering prayer](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/centering-prayer-2/) --- ### [adolescents](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/adolescents/) --- ### [children](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/children/) --- ### [Awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/awareness/) --- ### [cognitive reframing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/cognitive-reframing-2/) --- ### [cognitive distortions](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/cognitive-distortions/) --- ### [perfectionism](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/perfectionism/) --- ### [patience](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/patience/) --- ### [self-assertion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/self-assertion/) --- ### [abuse](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/abuse/) --- ### [self-awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/self-awareness/) --- ### [healing](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/healing/) --- ### [self-compassion](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/self-compassion/) --- ### [sexual education](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/sexual-education-2/) --- ### [childhood abuse](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/childhood-abuse/) --- ### [compassion fatigue](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/compassion-fatigue/) --- ### [resilience](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/resilience/) --- ### [teenagers](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/teenagers/) --- ### [Addiction](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/addiction/) --- ### [parenting strategy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/parenting-strategy/) --- ### [peace](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/peace/) --- ### [positive engagement](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/positive-engagement/) --- ### [motherhood](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/motherhood/) --- ### [child development](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/child-development/) --- ### [Emotional Abuse](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/emotional-abuse/) --- ### [Physical Abuse](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/physical-abuse/) --- ### [positive self talk](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/positive-self-talk/) --- ### [CBT](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/cbt/) --- ### [forgiveness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/forgiveness/) --- ### [failure](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/failure/) --- ### [success](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/success/) --- ### [motivation](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/motivation/) --- ### [shame versus guilt](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/shame-versus-guilt/) --- ### [self-control](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/self-control/) --- ### [sleep](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/sleep/) --- ### [sleeping disorders](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/sleeping-disorders/) --- ### [insomnia](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/insomnia/) --- ### [work-life balance](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/work-life-balance/) --- ### [technology](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/technology/) --- ### [SELF-VALIDATION (AFFIRMATIONS)](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/self-validation-affirmations/) --- ### [Assertiveness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/assertiveness/) --- ### [emotional regulation](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/emotional-regulation/) --- ### [Communication](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/communication/) --- ### [Domestic Violence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/domestic-violence/) --- ### [Infidelity](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/infidelity/) --- ### [The Human Brain](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/the-human-brain/) --- ### [Play Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/play-therapy/) --- ### [adultery](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/adultery/) --- ### [Problem Solving](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/problem-solving/) --- ### [Critical Thinking](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/critical-thinking/) --- ### [relationship](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/relationship/) --- ### [hope](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/hope/) --- ### [sex](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/sex/) --- ### [growth](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/growth/) --- ### [habits](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/habits/) --- ### [productivity](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/productivity/) --- ### [procrastination](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/procrastination/) --- ### [wellness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/wellness/) --- ### [happiness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/happiness/) --- ### [expression](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/expression/) --- ### [loneliness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/loneliness/) --- ### [solitude](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/solitude/) --- ### [connection](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/connection/) --- ### [social media](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/social-media/) --- ### [physical health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/physical-health/) --- ### [Attention disorders](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/attention-disorders/) --- ### [ADD/ADHD](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/addadhd/) --- ### [Unemployment](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/unemployment/) --- ### [Job Stress](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/job-stress/) --- ### [neurobiology](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/neurobiology/) --- ### [post partum depression](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/post-partum-depression/) --- ### [communication skills](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/communication-skills/) --- ### [manipulation](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/manipulation/) --- ### [physical well-being](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/physical-well-being/) --- ### [wait](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/wait/) --- ### [uncertainty](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/uncertainty/) --- ### [affair](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/affair/) --- ### [therapist](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/therapist/) --- ### [psychological help](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/psychological-help/) --- ### [bonding](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/bonding/) --- ### [child therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/child-therapy/) --- ### [burnout](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/burnout/) --- ### [burnout prevention](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/burnout-prevention/) --- ### [major depression](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/major-depression/) --- ### [bipolar disorder](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/bipolar-disorder/) --- ### [New Year](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/new-year/) --- ### [resolutions](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/resolutions/) --- ### [human brain](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/human-brain/) --- ### [stepfamily](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/stepfamily/) --- ### [stepfamilies](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/stepfamilies/) --- ### [blended family](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/blended-family/) --- ### [stepparenting](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/stepparenting/) --- ### [lifestyle](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/lifestyle/) --- ### [conformity](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/conformity/) --- ### [eating disorders](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/eating-disorders/) --- ### [women](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/women/) --- ### [women's anger](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/womens-anger/) --- ### [diversity](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/diversity/) --- ### [difference](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/difference/) --- ### [culture](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/culture/) --- ### [personal narrative](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/personal-narrative/) --- ### [core beliefs](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/core-beliefs/) --- ### [self care](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/self-care/) --- ### [ASD](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/asd/) --- ### [autism spectrum disorder](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/autism-spectrum-disorder/) --- ### [body](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/body/) --- ### [body-oriented therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/body-oriented-therapy/) --- ### [intimacy & sex](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/intimacy-sex/) --- ### [separation](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/separation/) --- ### [children of divorce](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/children-of-divorce/) --- ### [trauma and loss](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/trauma-and-loss/) --- ### [personal power](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/personal-power/) --- ### [presence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/presence/) --- ### [powerlessness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/powerlessness/) --- ### [powerful](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/powerful/) --- ### [borderline personality disorder](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/borderline-personality-disorder/) --- ### [teen acting out](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/teen-acting-out/) --- ### [teen anger](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/teen-anger/) --- ### [special needs children](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/special-needs-children/) --- ### [learning disabilities](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/learning-disabilities/) --- ### [adult children](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/adult-children/) --- ### [overthink](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/overthink/) --- ### [rumination](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/rumination/) --- ### [thought paralysis](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/thought-paralysis/) --- ### [intimacy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/intimacy/) --- ### [sexual desire](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/sexual-desire/) --- ### [rest](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/rest/) --- ### [parental conflict](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/parental-conflict/) --- ### [baby](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/baby/) --- ### [conflict](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/conflict/) --- ### [defensiveness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/defensiveness/) --- ### [executive functioning](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/executive-functioning/) --- ### [kids](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/kids/) --- ### [energy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/energy/) --- ### [support](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/support/) --- ### [teens](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/teens/) --- ### [baby blues](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/baby-blues/) --- ### [shame](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/shame/) --- ### [pregnancy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/pregnancy/) --- ### [body image](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/body-image/) --- ### [teletherapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/teletherapy/) --- ### [telehealth](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/telehealth/) --- ### [online therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/online-therapy/) --- ### [discipline](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/discipline/) --- ### [misconceptions](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/misconceptions/) --- ### [communications](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/communications/) --- ### [growth mindset](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/growth-mindset/) --- ### [intimate partner violence](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/intimate-partner-violence/) --- ### [holiday blues](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/holiday-blues/) --- ### [holiday blahs](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/holiday-blahs/) --- ### [meaning of the Holiday](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/meaning-of-the-holiday/) --- ### [Christmas](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/christmas/) --- ### [holiday season](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/holiday-season/) --- ### [premarital therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/premarital-therapy/) --- ### [engagement](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/engagement/) --- ### [prepare/enrich](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/prepare-enrich/) --- ### [African Americans](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/african-americans/) --- ### [Cultural Differences](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/cultural-differences/) --- ### [Racism and Grief](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/racism-and-grief/) --- ### [Black in America](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/black-in-america/) --- ### [George Floyd](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/george-floyd/) --- ### [Grief and COVID-19](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/grief-and-covid-19/) --- ### [African American Grief](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/african-american-grief/) --- ### [art](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/art/) --- ### [Foreplay](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/foreplay/) --- ### [Sexuality](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/sexuality/) --- ### [Sex Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/sex-therapy/) --- ### [sex education](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/sex-education/) --- ### [self awareness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/self-awareness-2/) --- ### [equitable counseling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/equitable-counseling/) --- ### [single parent](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/single-parent/) --- ### [safety](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/safety/) --- ### [orgasms gap](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/orgasms-gap/) --- ### [intercourse](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/intercourse/) --- ### [confidentiality](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/confidentiality/) --- ### [effectiveness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/effectiveness/) --- ### [pros and cons](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/pros-and-cons/) --- ### [vicarious trauma](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/vicarious-trauma/) --- ### [mindful eating](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/mindful-eating/) --- ### [porn](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/porn/) --- ### [belief system](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/belief-system/) --- ### [organizational patterns](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/organizational-patterns/) --- ### [communication patterns](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/communication-patterns/) --- ### [sandtray](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/sandtray/) --- ### [creative therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/creative-therapy/) --- ### [Fighting fair](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/fighting-fair/) --- ### [Strong partnership](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/strong-partnership/) --- ### [Modeling](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/modeling/) --- ### [effective discipline](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/effective-discipline/) --- ### [school strategies](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/school-strategies/) --- ### [adults](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/adults/) --- ### [Self-talk](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/self-talk/) --- ### [Family choice making](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/family-choice-making/) --- ### [self-absorbed](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/self-absorbed/) --- ### [mess](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/mess/) --- ### [clutter](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/clutter/) --- ### [healthy families](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/healthy-families/) --- ### [honesty](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/honesty/) --- ### [integrity](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/integrity/) --- ### [humulity](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/humulity/) --- ### [courage](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/courage/) --- ### [caregiver burnout](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/caregiver-burnout/) --- ### [body mind awaraness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/body-mind-awaraness/) --- ### [hope for change](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/hope-for-change/) --- ### [disordered eating](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/disordered-eating/) --- ### [bulimia nervosa](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/bulimia-nervosa/) --- ### [anorexia nervosa](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/anorexia-nervosa/) --- ### [learned helplessness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/learned-helplessness/) --- ### [mental toughness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/mental-toughness/) --- ### [ABCD Model](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/abcd-model/) --- ### [REBT Therapy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/rebt-therapy/) --- ### [again conformity](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/again-conformity/) --- ### [Values Versus Goals](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/values-versus-goals/) --- ### [drugs](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/drugs/) --- ### [Introvert](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/introvert/) --- ### [left and right brain integration](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/left-and-right-brain-integration/) --- ### [Inner Conflict](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/inner-conflict/) --- ### [Self-Awaraness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/self-awaraness/) --- ### [Depression Screening](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/depression-screening/) --- ### [Hoarding Disorder](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/hoarding-disorder/) --- ### [Mindset change](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/mindset-change/) --- ### [Behavior change](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/behavior-change/) --- ### [Change habits](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/change-habits/) --- ### [Change is hard](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/change-is-hard/) --- ### [How do you change?](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/how-do-you-change/) --- ### [Black Female](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/black-female/) --- ### [self regulation](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/self-regulation/) --- ### [Burnout book](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/burnout-book/) --- ### [stress response cycle](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/stress-response-cycle/) --- ### [kindness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/kindness/) --- ### [Teen pregnancy](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/teen-pregnancy/) --- ### [Teen Mom & Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/teen-mom-mental-health/) --- ### [Young Mothers &Mental Health](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/young-mothers-mental-health/) --- ### [stigma](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/stigma/) --- ### [PTSD](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/ptsd/) --- ### [youth](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/youth/) --- ### [Differentiation](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/differentiation/) --- ### [self-development](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/self-development/) --- ### [self-confrontation](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/self-confrontation/) --- ### [self-criticisim](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/self-criticisim/) --- ### [self-kindness](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/tag/self-kindness/) --- ## Location Categories ### [Fuller Life West at Quillian](https://fullerlifefamilytherapy.org/locations-category/fuller-life-west-at-quillian/) **Description:** | ---