Bridge banner
Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute
  • Home
    • Our Story
    • Our Core Values
    • Partner with Us
    • Our Training
    • Donate
  • Info
    • Our Locations
    • New Client Forms
    • Therapy Fees
    • Information for New clients
    • Secure Inquiry Form
    • Initial Session Form
    • Telemental Health Consent Form
  • Services
    • Individual Counseling
    • Couples Counseling
    • Family Counseling
    • Counseling Kids
    • Counseling with Teens
    • Speaking Engagements
  • Team
    • Harold Gibson, Student Therapist
    • Lindsay Perry, Resident Therapist, Loop
    • Stephanie Jordan, Resident Therapist, Loop
    • Chantail Green, Resident Therapist
    • Dormetra Henry, Resident Therapist
    • Riya Roney, Resident Therapist
    • Dr. Amy Fuller, Clinical Director
  • Resources
    • Houston Sliding-Scale Therapy Agencies
    • Mental Health Resources
      • Depression
      • Anxiety
    • Local Houston Resources
      • Helpful Books
      • Personal Bill of Rights
    • Healing Practices
      • Benefits of Self-Compassion
      • Self-Care Practices
      • Self-Compassion
  • Blog
    • Blog Grid
    • Resilient Relationships
    • Befriending Anxiety
    • Dancing Through Depression
    • Growing Kids and Teens
    • Healing Practices
    • Healing Trauma and Loss
    • Living Free from Addiction
    • Managing Anger and Stress
    • Sex Therapy
    • Navigating Separation, Divorce and Blended Families
    • Mindful Eating
    • Practicing Faith
  • New Year New You Challenge

Archive for self-esteem

Weighing In: Shame vs the Scale

Posted by 1-Lindsay Perry on
 March 14, 2019
  · No Comments

Everyday we can look around and see signs, commercials, and ads for the latest fad diets, extreme workouts, and weight-loss quick fixes. These diets label some specific food as “the fat maker”. The workouts make big promises but are too extreme to stick with long term. The weight-loss quick fix guarantees “this pill will melt fat away.” What are these ads really saying? They say that we need to change ourselves to achieve the “perfect body”. These messages look helpful from the outside. Yet, the more probable picture is not helpful at all. How much harm are these messages doing, and what does it mean for you?

What’s really being said?

On the surface, this message implies that we need to take better care of our physical health to look better and feel better, but sometimes that’s not all we receive. Sometimes we hear that we’re not good enough as we are. We start to believe that we need that slim physique to be happy and feel as though we’re worth something. Sometimes, we even start to believe that we are shameful for not matching that ideal body seen in the media. The danger of shame is the lengths we take to achieve the perfect body and what it really means about the way we view ourselves.

What messages are you receiving: motivation or shame?

You may be wondering what’s wrong with wanting to better yourself? On the outside, someone may have started eating healthier foods and working out every day, but what motivations lie underneath this lifestyle change? Someone taking steps towards making better eating choices for a healthier life is different from someone cutting out food groups out of fear and shame for being the size they are. Someone going for a walk or run more often to feel better is different from taking on an extreme workout program out of a desire to hurt and tear down the body to force it to change.

 Shame is not only mentally and emotionally exhausting, but also physically taxing when it manifests into the way we treat ourselves daily. For some, behaviors fueled by shame can become unhealthy habits or obsessions attempting to achieve or maintain the social construct of the “perfect” body. For others, the feelings of worthlessness and shame can be so strong that they immobilize them from even attempting to take care of themselves.

The weight of shame

In most experiences of shame, we isolate ourselves from those around us. We feel disconnected from the people in our lives and disconnected from ourselves. The weight of shame can be heavy and fuel our own form of self-abuse as we try to change ourselves. This self-abusing cycle of shame can lead to a deterioration of our mental, emotional, and physical health.

What is a healthier approach?

We can start to uncover an expose our shame by becoming aware of it. Taking a moment of pause and being curious about what is driving us to change ourselves is a first step in becoming more aware. We notice our motivations and what our inner voices are telling us about the changes we feel we need to make to our bodies. When we become more aware, we give more power to ourselves. In our awareness, we can start to show ourselves kindness and compassion through the things we tell ourselves and combat the heaviness of shame.

Beauty in diversity

If we all looked the same, the world would be a boring place. We are all beautiful in our own way and change in various and unique ways throughout our lives. Our differences make the world a more interesting and beautiful place, so why are we fighting so hard to look the same? We are all deserving of loving ourselves as we are. We are also deserving of wanting to do better for ourselves, but where does your motivation come from? Is our motivation a desire to be and feel healthier? Or is our need to change based on fear and shame for being the way we are? Knowing what drives us gives us new opportunities to show ourselves kindness.

Resources

Are you struggling with the weight of shame? Our therapists at Fuller Life Family Therapy provide a kind and compassionate space to help people work through shame, self-esteem, and a variety of other challenges. Call us today at (855) 245-5433 to schedule an appointment.

Body Positivity or Body Obsession? Learning to See More & Be More – TED Talk by Lindsay Kite

Shame, Body Image, and Weight Loss: Shame, the Master Emotion, Part 2 – David Bedrick J.D., Dipl PW

Contributed by:

Lindsay Perry, M.Ed, LPC Intern #79863

Clinical Supervision by Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S

Categories : Counseling, Self-Awareness, Self-Esteem, Sticky
Tags : body, body image, mental health, physical health, self-esteem, shame, wellness

How Often do you Care for Yourself?

Posted by Manet Castaneda on
 January 31, 2019
  · 1 Comment

Self-Care Sunday

The phrase self-care is becoming more and more popular. It is a phrase we hear all over social media or in conversations with friend, and it has even become its own hashtag, ex: #selfcaresunday on Instagram.  However, sometimes it is used more as an excuse to self-indulge and less as a practice of *self-compassion. So, what does actual self-care look like?

From a therapeutic stand point, it looks like taking care of yourself in multiple ways. It can look like eating well, exercising, practicing mindfulness or even engaging in spiritual practices. It can involve making space to spend time with loved ones. In addition to taking care of your physical and emotional health, it is equally important to attend to the mental aspect of self-care.The mental aspect of self-care is an area of ourselves that we can often neglected if we are not being intentional. How often do you take time to sit with yourself to see where your mind is and what is going on? Do you find yourself constantly trying to keep busy or distracted so you don’t have to think? If this at all sounds familiar, then you may want to keep reading to find some ways you can take time to care about yourself on the inside. 

What does your self-talk sound like?

It is important to make note of how your self-talk impacts your self-care. Consider the following, how kind are you being to yourself as you go about your daily routine? How easy or challenging is it for you to say compassionate things to yourself when you make mistakes? In the wise words for Ru Paul, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” Often times we do not want to take time to notice how damaging a lack of self-kindness can be to our mind. Consider the R.A.I.N. exercise which can be used as a way of exploring yourself and what you are feeling in a compassionate and non-judgmental way. Self-care is a choice that has to be made on a daily basis. In this life you will constantly face situations in which you will have to choose between being kind to yourself or negate yourself the opportunity to experience kindness in that moment. 

How do you take care of yourself through adversity?

Part of life includes dealing with the consequences of our choices. We also cannot avoid life’s random accidents which can  bring adversity. During these times, how do you deal with yourself and others? How do you respond? Do you engage in self-care or is that the first thing to go out of the window? In the Bible, the author of Colossians 3:12 invites the reader to consider clothing themselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, there is value in noting that the author is asking the audience to consider choosing to live in a compassionate way through all that life can bring.  

Life is all about how we chose to face it. So reader, I challenge you to choose to respond to yourself with  kindness and compassion on a daily basis, because you already know what the alternative is. If you find yourself at a place where you are already working on these issues, then I commend you for having the courage and strength to practice self-care. However, if you are at a place where you are uncertain about what steps to take, then perhaps consider visiting a counselor who can help you in your journey towards greater self-care.

* Self-Compassion: Recognizing your own pain, suffering or discomfort and then choosing to respond with kindness. 

Other resources to consider:

Self-Care for the Real World

The Practice of Resilience

Create & Grow Healthy

Manet Castaneda, Resident Therapist, Fuller Life LOOP and WEST

Manet Castaneda, LPC-InternResident Therapist

Supervised by Amy Fuller PhD, LPC-S, LMFT-S

To schedule an appointment please contact me by email at Manet@FullerLifeFamilyTherapy.org, by phone at (832) 981-7690, or through our webform. 

Categories : Cognitive Reframing, Counseling, Covid-19, Emotional Intelligence, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Awareness, Self-Care Practices, Self-Esteem
Tags : cognitive reframing, emotional intelligence, emotions, lifestyle, mental health, self care, self-awareness, self-care practices, self-esteem

Writing Your Destiny: Does the Story You Tell Yourself Help or Hurt You? 

Posted by Shani Bell on
 May 30, 2017
  · No Comments

If you were to pick a genre for the story of your life, what would it be? A romantic comedy? Action? Psychological Thriller? A horror?? The stories we tell ourselves about the lives we lead deeply impact the way we view ourselves and our outlook.

Rereading Your Story

Since our story matters so much it is helpful to really look at what our story is and put words to it. Just think about it for a moment. Take some time to write down the 5 most significant events of your life. Think about the story you tell yourself about these events.

  • Start with identifying the type of character you play. Are you the victim, the hero, the villain or some other character? How does viewing yourself in this manner affect the way you lead your life?
  • Now think about the events themselves. Out of all the experiences you have had, you chose a certain 5 to be the most significant. Is the road through these events what psychologist, Michael White, calls problem saturated?
  • How do these events change how you see the world?
  • What meaning are you giving these 5 experiences and how does this meaning direct how you see life in general?
  • What was the moral of the stories?  How has each event impacted your rules for life?

Have these events created a limited view of yourself?  Do they influence your poor decisions?  Have these memories created an unhealthy sense of your own identity?  If the answer to these questions is no, maybe you should take another look at the autobiography that you have written.

Find the Missing Pieces

One vital question that you can ask yourself when thinking about your perspective is “Am I omitting something important from my story?” Though you placed a high-level of importance on the meaning you have given these events, decide if there are other events or alternative interpretations that can tell you a different story about yourself. Challenge how you have allowed these stories to form your core beliefs. Often, people will generate beliefs from places like early life experiences, values from their family origin or intense turning points like tragedies. From that point on, they unconsciously sift through their experiences going forward looking only for the ones that confirm their existing beliefs. The problem is that there are so many fact missing from their limited point of view. They never see the full picture.

Don’t Ruin the Ending!

Omitted facts and narrow perspectives can have serious effects. Imagine a young high school honor student who gained a low SAT score. She always saw herself as intelligent with a passion for learning until that point. But after perceived failure, she then built a belief about herself that she is not smart enough to succeed.

She starts limiting herself by taking easier college courses that she believes she can pass, afraid to challenge herself. She graduates and gains a steady career. Her bosses see her potential, but she passes up promotions not believing in her skills and abilities. One day, she is reprimanded for missing an important deadline. “See! I knew it. I’m a failure”, she declares. Her mind is turned away from any evidence against this belief, like graduating college, establishing a career, or being offered promotions. All she sees is the same failure she identified with in high school. Does this story sound familiar? If so, you might need to turn the page on your thinking.

To live a full and meaningful life going forward, think about changing the meaning you have given the life you have already lived. Rewrite your story.

 

Contributed by

Shani Bell, MAAT, LPC-Intern

Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S

 

Categories : Cognitive Reframing, Counseling, Mental Health, Self-Awareness, Self-Esteem, Sticky
Tags : acceptance, cognitive reframing, core beliefs, mental health, personal narrative, self-awareness, self-esteem

Take a Stand Against Eating Disorders

Posted by Laura Cardella on
 May 18, 2017
  · No Comments

An eating disorder is a condition that keeps a person from eating food in a way that promotes good physical and emotional health. While more prevalent in Western nations, all races, cultures, genders, socio-economic groups and ages are susceptible to eating disorders. The general public became aware of eating disorders in 1983 following the death of a famous singer, Karen Carpenter, from anorexia nervosa.

Facts of Disordered Eating

As of 2011, 10 million men and 20 million women in the United States suffer from eating disorders at some point during their lifetime. Eating disorders often coexist with psychological and medical issues such as low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, trouble coping with emotions and substance abuse. Statistics showing girls under 10 years of age being worried about their body weight and shape are concerning. A variety of athletes are currently obsessed with having a perfect, thin and beautiful body.

What Causes Disordered Eating?

Dissatisfaction with one’s body or appearance is one main reason for disordered eating.   For some, a preoccupation with food becomes a way to gain control over at least one aspect of their lives.  Social media, television, movies and magazines present artificial and unhealthy ideals of beauty. This causes some young girls, teens, women, boys, men and their families to be preoccupied with dieting and thinness.

Kinds of Eating Disorders

Bulimia nervosa is an emotional disorder involving a distorted body image, eating large amounts of food and an obsessive desire to lose weight. These bouts of extreme overeating are followed by depression, guilt, shame and often self-induced vomiting, purging, or fasting or extreme exercising. It effects 3.5% of women, 2% of men, and up to 1.6% of adolescents in the U.S.  Bulimia nervosa has the highest rate of suicide of all eating disorders.

Anorexia nervosa is about extremely low body weight, but the patient sees themselves as overweight. Patients may actually die of starvation. Statistics show 10% of people with anorexia nervosa die within 10 years. Anorexia has the highest death rate of all psychiatric diagnosis.

Ways Society Makes it Worse

Sadly many adore superficial beauty in our sophisticated postmodern American society. Being a singular type – young, unblemished and thin is to be perfect. The media prefers a single body type and discourages tolerance of differences and varieties of physique. Additionally, we find attitudes and trends of unhealthy thin models in television and movies, magazines and social media on screens throughout the world. Those committed to encouraging their families’ healthy eating habits must battle the merciless influence of outside pressure. These social influences make it even more difficult to nurture and maintain healthy eating habits. So what is to be done to help people successfully nourish their families?

What Can you do? 

There are things you can do to prevent eating disorders even if you or someone you love is not struggling with an eating disorder. For example, you can spread awareness through education, be aware of the dangers and mindfully prevent the glamorizing of poor eating habits. In other words, take a stand!

  • Prepare, serve and eat in healthy ways so that you and your family maintain healthy, nourishing habits. If you enjoy apps, check out The Best Eating Disorder Apps of 2016 (These apps offer ways to track eating and exercise, use cognitive behavioral therapy or positive affirmations for promoting healthy eating styles.)
  • Do not shop at or buy products from stores that glorify overly thin models and starvation lifestyles.
  • Take a positive stand against the dieting trend. Speak with your sons and daughters about the harm of eating disorders. Help them use common sense to see how the media distorts overly thin body types.
  • Finally, speak up for and model healthy attitudes and eating practices wherever you find yourself: at work, with parenting groups, in programs for school children, athletics, scouting and church activities. Encourage a culture of accepting diversity of healthy body types and nurturing eating practices.

It Is Up To Me If It Is To Be

If we do not stop the swing toward rewarding faulty thinking and unhealthy choices, no one else will do it for us. So it is up to you and me. We must not accept the distortion that being too thin is best. Will you take a stand with me and reclaim healthy eating patterns for our families?

Laura L. Cardella, LPC Intern,

Supervised by Amy Fuller PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S  

 

 

 

Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute,  invites you to comment on or share this blog.  Let this be a way of standing strong and joining the conversation to help families choose healthy eating habits!

 

Categories : Counseling, Eating Disorders, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Self-Awareness, Self-Esteem
Tags : abuse, adolescents, adolescents and children, eating disorders, self-awareness, self-esteem

Lessons on Materialism as Told by Rock ‘n’ Roll Legends

Posted by Manet Castaneda on
 July 20, 2016
  · No Comments

We live in a world in which we are constantly bombarded with images of celebrities and their flawless bodies, luxurious homes, the latest fashion trends, and the coolest gadgets. In the midst of all of these things it can be easy to be swayed towards the belief that we are supposed to live our lives according to the standards that society sets for us. Consider the following questions:

  • Do you believe that you would be happier if you just had more money?
  • Do you envy those who have nicer belongings than you do?
  • Do you and your partner worry about accumulating wealth and assets?

If you answered yes to any of the questions above, you may want to consider whether you are placing a high level of importance on acquiring wealth, and if so, what potential side effects this type of thinking may have on your life and relationships.

I Can’t Get No Satisfaction

The Rolling Stones may have been on to something when they wrote I Can’t Get No Satisfaction, referring to not being satisfied by material things despite trying. Interestingly, according to Carolyn Gregorie of The Huffington Post, Americans have more cars and eat out more than they did roughly 50 years ago. However, despite having more, Americans are still not happier. Research has found that, although the levels of consumption have risen in the past 50 years, Americans’ overall wellbeing has declined.

You may be asking yourself, “Why does this all matter?” Well, if you believe that the solution to your problems is having more, you may want to take note that research has found having more does not necessarily mean you will be happier. In fact, it has found that those who work towards accumulating wealth and assets have a tendency to experience less positive emotions throughout their day and are less satisfied than those who do not pursue wealth.

Money Talks

In AC/DC’s popular song, Money Talks, part of the chorus says “Come on, come on, love me for the money,” as if having large amounts of money can make someone fall in love with you. Interestingly, research has shown that individuals who are materialistic may find themselves in unhappy relationships compared to those who do not place importance on their belongings and the acquisition of more. Jason Carroll, professor of family life at Brigham Young University found this is true for all income classes. Additionally, his study found that the least satisfying marriages were those in which both partners placed great importance on their possessions.

Carroll and his research team developed theories as to how materialism can affect a relationship, and they believe that it could be that those couples who spend more time focusing on accumulating wealth spend less time working on strengthening their relationship. Another theory that Carroll and his team considered was that reckless spending habits caused couples to have more stress and more discussions. Therefore they were more likely to be dissatisfied with their relationship.

Welcome to the Hotel California

The Eagles give their listeners a glimpse into the powerful trap of materialism in their popular song, Hotel California. The lyrics of the song paint a picture of a man caught in the life of luxury at the Hotel California, only to realize too late that he and everyone there “are all just prisoners… of [their] own device.” As if the effects of materialism listed above were not worrisome enough, studies have found that individuals who are materialistic are also more insecure, anxious, and depressed than those individuals who are not materialistic.

In a different study, psychologist Galen V. Bodenhausen and his team of researchers found that students who were exposed to images of luxury items and words compared to students who were exposed to nature scenes, rated themselves higher in anxiety and depression than the other students. This research is important because it indicates that people who have a mind frame of materialism may have higher levels of depression and anxiety as opposed to those individuals who do not.

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

We live in a society that applies a great deal of pressure on its consumers to have more in order to be “happy.” We have been led to believe that satisfaction will come from collecting material things. However, this way of thinking does not guarantee happiness, stable relationships, or a reduction in anxiety and depression. In fact, being materialistic seems to provide the complete opposite by leading to less satisfaction, strained relationships, and higher levels of anxiety and depression.

If living the life of a rock ‘n’ roll star is not the way towards a life of happiness and fulfillment, then how do you find satisfaction? Perhaps it might be found in engaging in the opposite of materialism, gratitude. Recent studies on happiness suggest that having deep feelings of gratitude beyond good manners could contribute largely to our happiness. With all of this in mind, just remember the wise words of Axl Rose, ” nothin’ lasts forever, even cold November rain.”

 

 

Manet  Castaneda

Practicum Student Therapist

Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT, LPC

Manet Headshot 

To schedule an appointment please contact me by email at Manet@FullerLifeFamilyTherapy.org, by phone at (832) 981-7690, or through our webform. 

Categories : Cognitive Reframing, Counseling, Couples, Depression, Emotional Intelligence, Emotions and Relationships, Gratitude, Marriage, Mental Health, Mindfulness Practice, Problem Solving, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Sticky, Stress Management
Tags : cognitive reframing, counseling, couples, depression, emotional intelligence, emotions and relationships, gratitude, marriage, mental health, mindfulness practice, Problem Solving, relationships, self-esteem, stress manage, stress management

Celebrate Your Efforts and Increase Self-Control

Posted by JenniferChristian on
 March 24, 2015

“Each day you work toward your big goal should be considered a success! You’re doing something now that directly affects your success later.” Brad Hussey

Wouldn’t it be great to build up our self-control “muscles?” More “staying power” could make a big difference in so many areas. According to a recent compilation of lab experiments on self-control, four emotional characteristics were shown to boost our self-control (Desteno, 2014).

  • Gratitude
  • Compassion
  • Guilt
  • Authentic pride

Over the past few weeks, Fuller Life’s blog has explored how to develop the characteristics of gratitude, compassion, and guilt. Today’s post will focus on cultivating authentic pride.

Always One More Thing

In a recent TED Talk, Shawn Achor notes that our society has somehow “pushed happiness over the cognitive horizon.”

We tell ourselves all sorts of things:

I will be happy when I achieve ____________. But, the minute I achieve ____________, I still have one more thing.

I just earned my degree, but now I need to find a job.

We just got married, but now we need to buy a home.

Happiness always seems to be beyond the next item on the to-do list. And, the to-do list just keeps getting longer.

We get to the end of our day and notice we did not accomplish everything we had set out to do. We tend to focus on what is lacking, which in turn builds frustration. The next day we wake up feeling more behind than the day before.

In her book Daring Greatly, Brené Brown says, “We start off the morning thinking we didn’t get enough sleep, go through the day thinking we don’t have enough time, and fall asleep thinking we failed to accomplish enough tasks. Whatever we have, do, or get, it’s never enough.”

Happiness eventually feels unattainable, especially when we run into obstacles along the way. Over time, we may lose our motivation to keep trying to find happiness.

Authentic Pride

What if we could bring happiness back to this side of the equation? Could we celebrate the small steps that move us toward our bigger goals? According to the field of positive psychology, we can cultivate authentic pride to help us reach our goals. “Authentic pride derives from specific accomplishments or goal attainments, and is often focused on the efforts made towards that goal” (Tracy & Robins, 2004, 2007a).

Triathlon coach Barrie Shepley points out that anything can happen on race day. So you should reward all the hard work you put into getting to the race!

When we begin to notice the little successes at the end of each day, we begin to experience the positive emotion that comes with affirming that our efforts mean something. Every little thing I accomplish toward my goal matters. When we celebrate our efforts, we cultivate positive emotion. This is motivating!

“Authentic pride is fueled by the emotional rush of accomplishment, confidence, and success, and is associated with pro-social and achievement-oriented behaviors, extraversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, satisfying interpersonal relationships, and positive mental health” (Kaufman, 2012).

Celebrate Together

Couple smilingAnother aspect of authentic pride is celebrating the successes of those around us. Martin Seligman calls this “active, constructive responding.” When our partner or friend comes to us to share a success, we celebrate with them. For instance, “This is great! I am so proud of you. I know how important this was to you! Please relive the event with me now. Where were you? What did you say? How did you react? We should go out and celebrate.”

Seligman includes non-verbal responses that build positive emotions and our bond with others, “Maintaining eye contact, displays of positive emotion, such as genuine smiling, touching, and laughing” (Seligman, 2011).

When we celebrate together, we increase positive feelings and strengthen the health of our relationships.

Tools

  • Some of us find it challenging to celebrate and enjoy our efforts toward success. However, negative habits of self-criticism and self-denigration wear away at our perseverance and motivation. Kristen Neff offers a helpful exercise that teaches us how to respond to ourselves in a more compassionate way.
  • Make a gratitude list at the end of each day to actively notice the abundance that is already in your life.
  • Get an accountability partner to share hopes and goals. Make a list of ideas to reward the accomplishments you achieve as you work toward your goals.
  • Get real about time. We often underestimate the time it takes to do things, and we overschedule ourselves. We end up setting ourselves up to feel disappointed that we did not accomplish more. Monica Ricci has helpful tips on creating a more realistic awareness of time and how to budget our tasks accordingly.

Carver, C. S., & Johnson, S. L. (2010). Authentic and Hubristic Pride: Differential Relations to Aspects of Goal Regulation, Affect, and Self-Control. Journal of Research in Personality, 44(6), 698–703.

Desteno, D. (2014). A Feeling of Control: How American Can Finally Learn to Deal with It’s Impulses. Pacific Standard.

Kaufman, B.F. (2012). Pride and Creativity. The Creativity Post. http://www.creativitypost.com/psychology/pride_and_creativity

Seligman, M. (2011). Flourish. A visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being.

Tracy JL, Robins RW. (2007a). Emerging insights into the nature and function of pride. Current Directions in Psychological Science. 16:147–150.

Williams, L. A. & DeSteno, David. (Jun. 2008). Pride and perseverance: The motivational role of pride. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol 94(6), 1007-1017.

Contributed by:

Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC

 

 

Categories : Counseling, Mental Health, Relationships, Self-Care Practices, Self-Esteem, Self-Validation (affirmations), Sticky, Stress Management
Tags : counseling, mental health, relationships, self-care practices, self-esteem, SELF-VALIDATION (AFFIRMATIONS), stress management

Courage to Face Our Fears

Posted by JenniferChristian on
 August 13, 2013
  · 1 Comment

 CourageCourage

We all have fears. Many of us have experienced times when we feel stuck because we are afraid; scared to take a test, go to the doctor, share our worries, get a shot, make a certain phone call, go on that job interview, _______ (fill in the blank). The good news is that we can use tools that foster resilience and help us face our fears. These are acts of courage. Courage, as defined by Webster’s Dictionary, is “the mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.” Courage does not imply doing something without fear.

“After interviewing hundreds of people about the truths of their lives – the strengths and the struggles – I realized that courage is one of the most important things that resilient people share in common.” Brené Brown

Resilience

The psychological definition of resilience is “an individual’s tendency to cope with stress and adversity.” A Houston therapist shared the following story recently of her daughter, Madison, a thirteen year old girl who faced her fears with courage as she used tools she has learned to help her become more resilient.

Girl on BicycleMadison went to the doctor with her mother for her annual wellness check. Madison told the doctor about a wart that had been on her leg for about six months. Her parents had used over-the-counter medications to treat the wart, but it did not seem to be helping. Madison admitted that she was terrified at the thought of getting the wart removed. She was scared of getting a shot, as well as the the pain she knew she would feel. The doctor told her that it would be best to remove it, but Madison said, “No.” Madison called her mother, Debbie, into the room, and Debbie explained that it was important to follow the doctor’s advice. Debbie knew that Madison was frightened, but she and Madison had talked on a number of occasions about tools that helped face her fears. Madison squeezed her mother’s hand with tears in her eyes. She said she was still scared, but gave the doctor permission.

These are some of the tools Madison practiced to build her courage:

  • Get the facts. Madison asked a number of questions about the procedure until she was satisfied that she knew exactly what to expect.
  • Seek out connection. Madison called her mother into the room for support and comfort. She did not have to face her fears alone.

“Courage is like—it’s a habitus, a habit, a virtue: You get it by courageous acts. It’s like you learn to swim by swimming. You learn courage by ‘couraging.’ The same is true for compassion and connection. We invite compassion into our lives when we act compassionately toward ourselves and others, and we feel connected in our lives when we reach out and connect.” Brené Brown

  • Laughter is good medicine. Madison and her mom told silly jokes to the doctor during the procedure. Debbie reminded Madison that laughter temporarily relieves pain and also calms anxiety.
  • Be creative. As Madison began to relax, she began to sing a silly song with a number of complicated verses. Her song made everyone laugh and the tension melted in the room. 

After the procedure was finished, Debbie asked Madison what she learned about herself. Madison replied, “I am braver than I thought I was.”

Face Our Fears

The next time something scary gets in the way, we can learn some tips from a young teenager on how to be brave. Here is a list of tools we can practice that build resilience and help us be courageous.

  1. Connect with others
  2. Laughter
  3. Gratitude
  4. Play
  5. Breathe
  6. Exercise

Brené Brown: The Gifts of Imperfection

Bron Roberts: 10 Top Tips for De-stressing and Building Resilience

 

Categories : Adolescents & Children, Anxiety & Panic, Anxiety Issues, Counseling, Emotional Intelligence, Gratitude, Mental Health, Parenting, Self-Care Practices, Self-Esteem, Sticky, Stress Management
Tags : adolescents and children, anxiety, gratitude, parenting, self-care, self-esteem, stress management
 FULLER LIFE LOOP
4545 Bissonnet, Suite 289, Bellaire, Texas 77401
FULLER LIFE WEST
10333 Harwin Drive Suite 375D Houston TX 77036
info@ FullerLifeFamilyTherapy.org

CALL TODAY! 

(855) 245-5433

Submit a confidential request on our HIPAA Compliant form

Scoop It
Facebook
Twitter
Linked In
Instagram
Google plus

Complete our Secure Inquiry Form:

Tags

2017 abuse acceptance ADD/ADHD Addiction addictions adolescents adolescents and children adult children adultery affair African American Grief African Americans anger anger management anxiety anxiety & panic anxiety and panic anxiety issues ASD Assertiveness Attention disorders autism spectrum disorder Awareness baby baby blues behavior bipolar disorder Black in America blended families blended family body body-oriented therapy body image bonding borderline personality disorder boundaries Bowen breath work breathwork burnout burnout prevention CBT centering prayer child development children children of divorce child therapy choicemaking Christmas cognitive distortions cognitive reframing cognitive therapy Communication communications communication skills compassion conflict conflict resolution conform conformity connection core beliefs counseling counseling for couples couples Couples counseling Couples exercises creativity Critical Thinking Cultural Differences culture Curiosity death decisions defensiveness depression difference disappointment discipline diversity divorce Domestic Violence eating disorders Emotional Abuse emotional intelligence emotional regulation emotions emotions and relationships Empathy energy engaged couple engagement executive functioning expression failure faith families family family stress family therapy fear forgiveness Foster Cline George Floyd graduation gratitude grief Grief and COVID-19 Grief Models growth growth mindset guilt versus shame guilt vs shame habit forming habits happiness healing healthy living holiday blahs holiday blues holiday season human brain I-statements Infidelity insomnia intimacy intimacy & sex intimate partner violence Jim Fay Job Stress John Gottman kids laughter learning disabilities leisure lifestyle listening loneliness loss love major depression manipulation Marital Satisfaction marriage marriage counseling marriage expectations Marriage therapy meaning of the Holiday mental health mental health service providers mindfulness mindfulness practice misconceptions motherhood motivation Negative Sentiment Override neurobiology New Year online therapy overthink panic parental conflict parenting parenting strategy Parenting with Love and Logic patience peace perfectionism personal narrative personal power Physical Abuse physical health physical well-being Play Therapy positive engagement positive self talk Positive Sentiment Override post partum depression powerful powerlessness pregnancy Premarital Premarital counseling premarital therapy prepare/enrich presence Problem Solving procrastination productivity psychological help Racism and Grief relationship relationships relationships. couples resilience resolutions rest Romance Romantic ideas rumination school seeking treatment self-assertion self-awareness self-care Self-Care Practice self-care practices self-compassion self-control self-esteem SELF-VALIDATION (AFFIRMATIONS) self care separation sex sexual desire sexual education shame shame versus guilt shame vs guilt skills sleep sleeping disorders social media social networking social skills solitude special needs children Spiritual Abuse spirituality stepfamilies stepfamily stepparenting stress stress manage stress management success support technology teen acting out teenagers teen anger teens telehealth teletherapy temper tantrums The Human Brain therapist therapy thought paralysis time management Transitions trauma trauma and loss trust uncertainty Unemployment universal statements Valentines Day values vulnerability wait waiting wedding preparations wellness women women's anger work-life balance

Optin Form

Scoop It
Facebook
Twitter
Linked In
Instagram
Google plus

DONATE

Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute
  • Home
    • Our Story
    • Our Core Values
    • Partner with Us
    • Our Training
    • Donate
  • Info
    • Our Locations
    • New Client Forms
    • Therapy Fees
    • Information for New clients
    • Secure Inquiry Form
    • Initial Session Form
    • Telemental Health Consent Form
  • Services
    • Individual Counseling
    • Couples Counseling
    • Family Counseling
    • Counseling Kids
    • Counseling with Teens
    • Speaking Engagements
  • Team
    • Harold Gibson, Student Therapist
    • Lindsay Perry, Resident Therapist, Loop
    • Stephanie Jordan, Resident Therapist, Loop
    • Chantail Green, Resident Therapist
    • Dormetra Henry, Resident Therapist
    • Riya Roney, Resident Therapist
    • Dr. Amy Fuller, Clinical Director
  • Resources
    • Houston Sliding-Scale Therapy Agencies
    • Mental Health Resources
      • Depression
      • Anxiety
    • Local Houston Resources
      • Helpful Books
      • Personal Bill of Rights
    • Healing Practices
      • Benefits of Self-Compassion
      • Self-Care Practices
      • Self-Compassion
  • Blog
    • Blog Grid
    • Resilient Relationships
    • Befriending Anxiety
    • Dancing Through Depression
    • Growing Kids and Teens
    • Healing Practices
    • Healing Trauma and Loss
    • Living Free from Addiction
    • Managing Anger and Stress
    • Sex Therapy
    • Navigating Separation, Divorce and Blended Families
    • Mindful Eating
    • Practicing Faith
  • New Year New You Challenge
Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute | Copyright © 2021 All Rights Reserved
iThemes Builder by iThemes | Powered by WordPress