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Archive for transitions

When Caring Hurts: Preventing Caregiver Burnout

Posted by FullerLife on
 August 1, 2017
  · No Comments

You are dependable and loyal. You take family seriously and honor those around you who are unable to care for themselves. So you have found yourself in the position of caring for an elderly parent grandparent or chronically ill or disabled loved one who requires constant care. Sometimes it feels like it is just too much for one person to bear. You may feel that no one else is there to carry the burden but you. However, not reaching out for help can lead to harmful results. 

The Numbers Don’t Lie 

The United States is home to over 44 million unpaid caregivers. The numbers will continue to grow as the population of baby boomers continues to age. The prevalence of spectrum disorders, like autism, has increased in America by 30 percent in recent years. Many disorders can limit the ability of people to function independently. These situations may create a need for family members to step up when care facilities seem like an unwanted or unfeasible option. But what effect does the caregiving lifestyle have on the caregiver? 

Signs of Trouble 

Fatigue and sleep deprivation when caring for a loved one are common. Fatigue can make a caregiver more vulnerable to physical, emotional or mental illnesses themselves. This can be due to a combination of physical obligations of providing care around the clock to the worry and stress that can accompany the responsibility of maintaining someone else’s welfare. Oftentimes, caregivers are not only responsible for the elderly parent or disabled family relative. They are parents, husbands and wives as well, further adding to their load.  

You may notice that you, or the caregiver in your life, has become increasingly irritable, anxious or angry lately. A prolonged state of fatigue and stress puts caregivers at risk for diabetes, addictions, increased sensitivity to pain and infections. If you see signs of depression, such as feelings of hopelessness or helplessness, loss of interest in other activities, social withdrawal, find help. That is a clear sign that it is time for intervention.  

In difficult circumstances, some caretakers may appear disoriented, erratic and/or highly emotional. Let extreme changes in mood, behaviors or routine be a signal to you that something is wrong. 

Caring for the Caregiver 

If any of this sounds familiar, please take the necessary steps. As a caregiver, know that reaching out for help and taking care of yourself are just as important to your role as a caregiver as the caregiving itself. If you know someone who is responsible for a loved one’s wellbeing and is exhibiting signs of burnout, lend a helping hand. Here are some steps that you can take: 

  • Self-assess. Take a moment to do personal inventory. If your energy levels have been low and your patience thin, admit it to yourself. That is the only way to begin the process of improving your situation. 
  • Take a break. If you do not have to, don’t go it alone. Ask friends or family members to stay over a couple nights a week so that you can get a full night’s rest. See if they can watch your loved for a couple of hours during the day while you take some personal time. If there is no one available, take advantage of some of the caregiver resources (found below) that can assist you. 
  • Be mindful. Include a mindfulness, mediation or prayer practice in your day. This serves to increase your self-awareness and promotes relaxation while you are awake. Fifteen minutes can make a world of difference. 
  • Find support. As a caregiver, you might be too busy to know that there is help available to you, even if you feel like you are all alone. Please check out the following resources:  
    • AARP CareConnection
    • National Alliance for Caregiving

Want to see if you or someone you love is battling caregiver burnout, take this short quiz: 

https://www.caring.com/articles/caregiver-burnout-quiz 

 

Contributed by

Shani Bell, MAAT, LPC-Intern

Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S

 

Categories : Anxiety & Panic, Counseling, Depression, Emotions and Relationships, Mental Health, Self-Awareness, Self-Care Practices, Stress Management, transitions
Tags : anxiety & panic, counseling, depression, emotions and relationships, mental health, self-awareness, self-care practices, stress management, Transitions

Collector, Minimalist or Hoarder: Whoever Dies With The Most Toys Wins

Posted by Laura Cardella on
 December 22, 2016
  · No Comments

What is your lifestyle?  Did you arrive at this style intentionally?  Or did you wake up one day asking, “Where did I get all this stuff?”  Some of us are very purposeful about what we collect.  We plan our lives so that we buy a house by age 25, upgrade to a bigger house by 30, and purchase a camper and boat by age 40.

The Intent to Stay Small

On the other hand, some keep their possessions so few they can pack up and move without renting a van.  These are minimalists. They shop at second hand stores for their family’s clothing. They grow and consume their own produce. A bicycle is their primary transportation, using a car only for lengthier trips.  Minimalists are often motivated by a prudent use of the ecosystem.  They struggle to accept that  “12 percent of the world’s population living in North America and Western Europe account for 60 percent of private consumption spending.”

Your Neighborhood’s Style

Within your own neighborhood, you may see signs of lifestyles affected by increasing consumption.  Do you see storage units flourishing in your community?  Parking lots built for extraneous boats, trailers, huge RVs being stored behind high fences?

The size and décor of  homes is showcased on several Home and Garden TV series.  Tiny Houses is about homes which shelter families in a space of 150 square feet or less.  On the other side of the spectrum, the ubiquitous house hunting and remodeling programs showcase large homes with expensive décor.

New Careers for the 21st Century

Our love for collecting is contributing to the flourishing professional organizing business which has sprung up worldwide in just the last 25 years, creating new niche careers.

Ellen Delap, a local certified organizer, attests to the growing popularity of people consulting organizers to make their homes more livable and less cluttered.

A Japanese organizer, Marie Kondo, is famous for her tidiness program.   She began developing her method when she was a five- year-old interested in home organization.  Her first book, “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up” describes a scaled down and totally tidied home life.  Kondo can be seen on YouTube, Marie Kondo: “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up” | Talks at Google https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1-HMMX_NR8

 Too Much of a Good Thing?

Recent television shows  bring “hoarding disorder,”one of the newer mental health problems, to our attention.  Television illustrates people with hoarding disorders living in the chaos of their own homes.  These programs display piles of newspapers, boxes of unworn shoes or unopened toys.  Piles of clothing barely leave space to walk through the home.  Do you think these home owners are inundated by their offsprings’ discarded childhood treasures?  Have they inherited their relations’ household furnishings and lifetime collections?  Not necessarily.

Hoarding Disorder

Actually, hoarding does not require help from either of these sources.  Hoarding disorder is characterized by ongoing difficulty in discarding possessions.  Hoarders try to “save” the items, even though they are not needed and there isn’t adequate space for their collection.  They do not perceive anything abnormal about these behaviors.  Having “excessive acquisitions” is often denied by hoarders, who typically feel anxiety when others try to limit their collecting.   The two to six percent of Americans and Europeans displaying hoarding symptoms are predominantly males over 55 years of age.  According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), 75% of hoarders also suffer from a depressive or anxiety disorder.

Downsizing

Another phase in the life of consumers is the down-sizer.  These are people who are at retirement age.  They no longer need to build a home for future children.  This segment of the population:

  • Is happy with their lives and comfortable with purging any excess and,
  • Enjoy the freedom of having fewer possessions to keep tidy and in good repair.

On the other hand, some of them:

  • Live with regret for unrealized dreams.
  • Are not ready to step down from their leadership roles at work, in the community and church.
  • Are unwilling to pass the torch to  younger generations.
  • Have declining social networks as  increasing numbers of their friends and families die.
  • Are shifting from participant to bystander at work or in their communities.
  • After downsizing their possessions they may opt for the convenience of apartment or senior community living.

What’s your lifestyle? Have you arrived at this intentionally?  Are you content with your circumstances?  Do you allow others to enjoy their own way of life, although it may differ from yours?

Perhaps you might take time to consider which category best describes your lifestyle. If you find you or someone you care about needs help with hoarding, here are some resources that may be helpful.

  • International OCD Foundation
  • The Hoarding Disorder Resource and Training Group
  • Resources For Families and Children of Hoarders
  • Help for Hoarders: Resources for Hoarders and Their Loved Ones

This holiday season may highlight the differences between family and friends’ various styles of living and giving.  You will be challenged as you try to buy the perfect gift for those having different styles than your own.  If you are a minimalist who objects to wastefulness, your values may clash with those who are not mindful of  over consumption.  And as a minimalist receives gifts, they may have to bite their tongue while receiving the gift offerings of their friends who are collectors.  Whatever your circumstance, let us remember, “Peace on earth to all!”

 

Laura is an LPC-Intern, under supervision of Dr. Amy Fuller, LPC-S, in Houston, Texas.

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Categories : Counseling, Lifestyle, Social Skills, transitions
Tags : acceptance, anxiety, mental health, mindfulness, self-awareness
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***Although the information provided in the therapy blog is written by mental health professionals, it DOES NOT substitute or qualify as professional counseling or therapy. This information is offered as a source of help and information regarding common concerns related to mental, emotional, relational and spiritual health. Please note the information provided here is for information purposes only and is NOT professional counseling.

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Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute
  • Home
    • Our Story
    • Our Core Values
    • Partner with Us
    • Our Training
  • Info
    • Our Locations
    • New Client Forms
      • Secure Inquiry Form
      • Initial Session Form
    • Therapy Fees
    • Information for New clients
  • Services
    • Marriage Counseling
    • Family Counseling
    • Counseling Kids
    • Counseling with Teens
    • Speaking Engagements
  • Team
    • Shani Bell, MAAT, LPC, Registered Art Therapist- FL West
    • Manet Castañeda, LPC-Intern, FL Loop & West
    • Angela E. Blocker, LMFT, FL West
    • Tamara Tatum, LMFT Associate, Loop
    • Elisa Squier, M.MFT, LMFT Associate, Loop & West
    • Lindsay Perry, MA, LPC Intern, Loop
    • Jeremy Gilliam, MFT Student Therapist, Loop
    • Amy Fuller PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S, Clinical Director, Loop
  • Resources
    • Houston Sliding-Scale Therapy Agencies
    • Mental Health Resources
      • Depression
      • Anxiety
    • Local Houston Resources
      • Helpful Books
      • Personal Bill of Rights
    • Healing Practices
      • Benefits of Self-Compassion
      • Self-Care Practices
      • Self-Compassion
  • Donate
  • Blog
    • Blog Grid
    • Resilient Relationships
    • Befriending Anxiety
    • Dancing Through Depression
    • Growing Kids and Teens
    • Healing Practices
    • Healing Trauma and Loss
    • Living Free from Addiction
    • Managing Anger and Stress
    • Sex Therapy
    • Navigating Separation, Divorce and Blended Families
    • Mindful Eating
    • Practicing Faith
  • Art Therapy
    • Shani Bell, LPC, Registered Art Therapist
    • Add Flavor to Mindfulness through Music and Colors
    • Creative Solutions
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