Bridge banner
Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute
  • Home
    • Our Story
    • Our Core Values
    • Partner with Us
    • Our Training
    • Donate
  • Info
    • Our Locations
    • New Client Forms
    • Therapy Fees
    • Information for New clients
    • Secure Inquiry Form
    • Initial Session Form
    • Telemental Health Consent Form
  • Services
    • Individual Counseling
    • Couples Counseling
    • Family Counseling
    • Counseling Kids
    • Counseling with Teens
    • Speaking Engagements
  • Team
    • Harold Gibson, Student Therapist
    • Lindsay Perry, Resident Therapist, Loop
    • Stephanie Jordan, Resident Therapist, Loop
    • Chantail Green, Resident Therapist
    • Dormetra Henry, Resident Therapist
    • Riya Roney, Resident Therapist
    • Dr. Amy Fuller, Clinical Director
  • Resources
    • Houston Sliding-Scale Therapy Agencies
    • Mental Health Resources
      • Depression
      • Anxiety
    • Local Houston Resources
      • Helpful Books
      • Personal Bill of Rights
    • Healing Practices
      • Benefits of Self-Compassion
      • Self-Care Practices
      • Self-Compassion
  • Blog
    • Blog Grid
    • Resilient Relationships
    • Befriending Anxiety
    • Dancing Through Depression
    • Growing Kids and Teens
    • Healing Practices
    • Healing Trauma and Loss
    • Living Free from Addiction
    • Managing Anger and Stress
    • Sex Therapy
    • Navigating Separation, Divorce and Blended Families
    • Mindful Eating
    • Practicing Faith
  • New Year New You Challenge

Archive for Assertiveness

The Five Habits of Assertive People

Posted by Lesley Anne Mendonça on
 April 7, 2015
  · No Comments

Assertiveness is a term that is widely known, yet often misunderstood.  Many think it means to always get one’s way or to be the most powerful person in a room.  It is important to distinguish between assertiveness and aggression.

In relationships each person has needs, and often our needs can conflict with one another.  The question then becomes: How can we best assert our needs in those tense moments?

The best way to share needs is through direct communication.  Though the temptation may be to become aggressive, manipulative or passive-aggressive.  These less-healthy habits of communication may let off steam temporarily, however, they slowly deteriorate the quality of the relationship.  Aggression often involves emotional communication that can be demeaning, blaming and accusing.  Passive-aggression and manipulation both entail undertones of guilting and hurting others by reminding them of their inadequacies.

The Value of Self-Assertion

Assertive people practice communication that is clear, non-emotional and respectful of others.  There is no blame or accusation, but rather openness to both speak and listen.  Those who are assertive are able to clearly state their needs, yet respond calmly if their needs are not met.  Assertiveness also involves offering helpful counter-solutions and not giving up easily when there are bumps in the road.  So how can you start to practice healthy assertion?  By practicing these habits.

How to Build Assertiveness

  1. Practice self-confidence. Assertiveness often flows from a place of confidence in one’s own worth and needs. This is not to be confused with aggressiveness or disregard for others.
  2. Tolerate discomfort. Asserting needs can often be uncomfortable, as it can breed tension or conflict. Tolerating discomfort enables you to move into respectful compromise.
  3. Offer positive solutions. When needs conflict, morale can often begin to run short. Positive and collaborative solutions go a long way to keep relationships strong.
  4. Respect boundaries. No matter issue, each person has her own emotional boundaries. A healthy awareness of every person’s inherent “bill of rights” (link) can help navigate conflicting needs.
  5. Practice perseverance. Taking a time-out when negotiating can be a wonderful solution if tension runs high.  The key is to not give up prematurely!  Self-assertion takes courage, resolve and patience.

Are you curious about where you are on the assertiveness scale?  Richard Jaffe, certified professional coactive coach (CPCC) offers a simple assertiveness self-assessment.

Good luck in the journey!

Lesley Anne Mendonça

Lesley Anne Mendonça

M.A., LMFT-Associate, LPC-Intern

Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, LMFT-S, LPC-S

Categories : Social Skills, Sticky
Tags : Assertiveness, emotional regulation, self-assertion, social skills
 FULLER LIFE LOOP
4545 Bissonnet, Suite 289, Bellaire, Texas 77401
FULLER LIFE WEST
10333 Harwin Drive Suite 375D Houston TX 77036
info@ FullerLifeFamilyTherapy.org

CALL TODAY! 

(855) 245-5433

Submit a confidential request on our HIPAA Compliant form

Scoop It
Facebook
Twitter
Linked In
Instagram
Google plus

Complete our Secure Inquiry Form:

Tags

2017 abuse acceptance ADD/ADHD Addiction addictions adolescents adolescents and children adult children adultery affair African American Grief African Americans anger anger management anxiety anxiety & panic anxiety and panic anxiety issues ASD Assertiveness Attention disorders autism spectrum disorder Awareness baby baby blues behavior bipolar disorder Black in America blended families blended family body body-oriented therapy body image bonding borderline personality disorder boundaries Bowen breath work breathwork burnout burnout prevention CBT centering prayer child development children children of divorce child therapy choicemaking Christmas cognitive distortions cognitive reframing cognitive therapy Communication communications communication skills compassion conflict conflict resolution conform conformity connection core beliefs counseling counseling for couples couples Couples counseling Couples exercises creativity Critical Thinking Cultural Differences culture Curiosity death decisions defensiveness depression difference disappointment discipline diversity divorce Domestic Violence eating disorders Emotional Abuse emotional intelligence emotional regulation emotions emotions and relationships Empathy energy engaged couple engagement executive functioning expression failure faith families family family stress family therapy fear forgiveness Foster Cline George Floyd graduation gratitude grief Grief and COVID-19 Grief Models growth growth mindset guilt versus shame guilt vs shame habit forming habits happiness healing healthy living holiday blahs holiday blues holiday season human brain I-statements Infidelity insomnia intimacy intimacy & sex intimate partner violence Jim Fay Job Stress John Gottman kids laughter learning disabilities leisure lifestyle listening loneliness loss love major depression manipulation Marital Satisfaction marriage marriage counseling marriage expectations Marriage therapy meaning of the Holiday mental health mental health service providers mindfulness mindfulness practice misconceptions motherhood motivation Negative Sentiment Override neurobiology New Year online therapy overthink panic parental conflict parenting parenting strategy Parenting with Love and Logic patience peace perfectionism personal narrative personal power Physical Abuse physical health physical well-being Play Therapy positive engagement positive self talk Positive Sentiment Override post partum depression powerful powerlessness pregnancy Premarital Premarital counseling premarital therapy prepare/enrich presence Problem Solving procrastination productivity psychological help Racism and Grief relationship relationships relationships. couples resilience resolutions rest Romance Romantic ideas rumination school seeking treatment self-assertion self-awareness self-care Self-Care Practice self-care practices self-compassion self-control self-esteem SELF-VALIDATION (AFFIRMATIONS) self care separation sex sexual desire sexual education shame shame versus guilt shame vs guilt skills sleep sleeping disorders social media social networking social skills solitude special needs children Spiritual Abuse spirituality stepfamilies stepfamily stepparenting stress stress manage stress management success support technology teen acting out teenagers teen anger teens telehealth teletherapy temper tantrums The Human Brain therapist therapy thought paralysis time management Transitions trauma trauma and loss trust uncertainty Unemployment universal statements Valentines Day values vulnerability wait waiting wedding preparations wellness women women's anger work-life balance

Optin Form

Scoop It
Facebook
Twitter
Linked In
Instagram
Google plus

DONATE

Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute
  • Home
    • Our Story
    • Our Core Values
    • Partner with Us
    • Our Training
    • Donate
  • Info
    • Our Locations
    • New Client Forms
    • Therapy Fees
    • Information for New clients
    • Secure Inquiry Form
    • Initial Session Form
    • Telemental Health Consent Form
  • Services
    • Individual Counseling
    • Couples Counseling
    • Family Counseling
    • Counseling Kids
    • Counseling with Teens
    • Speaking Engagements
  • Team
    • Harold Gibson, Student Therapist
    • Lindsay Perry, Resident Therapist, Loop
    • Stephanie Jordan, Resident Therapist, Loop
    • Chantail Green, Resident Therapist
    • Dormetra Henry, Resident Therapist
    • Riya Roney, Resident Therapist
    • Dr. Amy Fuller, Clinical Director
  • Resources
    • Houston Sliding-Scale Therapy Agencies
    • Mental Health Resources
      • Depression
      • Anxiety
    • Local Houston Resources
      • Helpful Books
      • Personal Bill of Rights
    • Healing Practices
      • Benefits of Self-Compassion
      • Self-Care Practices
      • Self-Compassion
  • Blog
    • Blog Grid
    • Resilient Relationships
    • Befriending Anxiety
    • Dancing Through Depression
    • Growing Kids and Teens
    • Healing Practices
    • Healing Trauma and Loss
    • Living Free from Addiction
    • Managing Anger and Stress
    • Sex Therapy
    • Navigating Separation, Divorce and Blended Families
    • Mindful Eating
    • Practicing Faith
  • New Year New You Challenge
Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute | Copyright © 2021 All Rights Reserved
iThemes Builder by iThemes | Powered by WordPress