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Hidden Grief

Posted by FullerLife on

September 23, 2017

Grief usually brings up memories of those we have lost. However, people grieve for many reasons. Believing grief is only about mourning those who have died can leave a person feeling confused and lost when they witness related symptoms after the loss of other important parts of their lives.

People often mourn the loss of a marriage or other relationship, a job or business after retirement, functioning, a home after a disaster, a life plan that does not pan out the way you thought it would, or personal security after being violated to name a few. The loss of all of these can lead you through stages of grieving. But unlike the loss of a loved one, you may not expect to encounter grief in these areas. Being aware that grief does not just happen when you lose a person or a pet can help you to recognize it for what it is and address it in a healthy way.

How do we experience grief?

People respond to loss in different ways. Many have heard of the stages of grief which include anger, denial, bargaining, depression and acceptance. These stages occur in different orders, with some occurring more than once during a single period of loss. And not all stages may be experienced. In addition, you might find that you are having physical symptoms like fatigue, changes in weight, headaches or upset stomach. Emotional and behavioral difficulties can often appear in the form of restlessness, drastic mood changes, crying spells, deep sadness, difficulty concentrating, confusion, fear, guilt, anger, and many other symptoms.

Pay attention to your mind and body if you are witnessing any of these symptoms. They might be telling you that grief is present.

How do we respond to grief?

Trying to convince yourself that you should not be grieving because no one has died is not helpful. Having to deal with disenfranchised grief only makes the healing process more difficult. Minimizing the weight of your loss might come from your inner voice or external friends and family who may not understand the impact of your loss. Whether or not you initially think you should be grieving, you are still doing so.

A healthy dose of self-compassion is a great first step to managing your grieving process. Through accepting and validating your loss to yourself and then giving yourself space to grieve, you open the door to properly deal with it.

For many, especially when they are enduring disenfranchised grief, it can be helpful to participate in a support group with people who are coping with similar life changes. Engaging with peers can help with validating and normalizing the pain of such loss. These groups may also help to provide tools for processing your loss. Individual counseling can be similarly beneficial, especially for people experiencing prolonged grief for greater than six months. It is especially important to take care of yourself and seek professional help.

If you are struggling with grief, check out some of these resources to start your healing journey:

https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/

http://bradhambrick.com/learning-to-grieve-losses-not-caused-by-death/

https://www.thegriefgirl.com/grief–grieving.html

Contributed by

Shani Bell, MAAT, LPC-Intern

Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S

Categories : Counseling, Depression, Depression, Bipolar, Divorce, Grief, Mental Health, Post Partum Depression, Self-Awareness, Trauma and Loss

Tags : counseling, depression, divorce, grief, mental health, post partum depression, self-awareness, trauma and loss

When Caring Hurts: Preventing Caregiver Burnout

Posted by FullerLife on

August 1, 2017

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You are dependable and loyal. You take family seriously and honor those around you who are unable to care for themselves. So you have found yourself in the position of caring for an elderly parent grandparent or chronically ill or disabled loved one who requires constant care. Sometimes it feels like it is just too much for one person to bear. You may feel that no one else is there to carry the burden but you. However, not reaching out for help can lead to harmful results.

The Numbers Don’t Lie

The United States is home to over 44 million unpaid caregivers. The numbers will continue to grow as the population of baby boomers continues to age. The prevalence of spectrum disorders, like autism, has increased in America by 30 percent in recent years. Many disorders can limit the ability of people to function independently. These situations may create a need for family members to step up when care facilities seem like an unwanted or unfeasible option. But what effect does the caregiving lifestyle have on the caregiver?

Signs of Trouble

Fatigue and sleep deprivation when caring for a loved one are common. Fatigue can make a caregiver more vulnerable to physical, emotional or mental illnesses themselves. This can be due to a combination of physical obligations of providing care around the clock to the worry and stress that can accompany the responsibility of maintaining someone else’s welfare. Oftentimes, caregivers are not only responsible for the elderly parent or disabled family relative. They are parents, husbands and wives as well, further adding to their load.

You may notice that you, or the caregiver in your life, has become increasingly irritable, anxious or angry lately. A prolonged state of fatigue and stress puts caregivers at risk for diabetes, addictions, increased sensitivity to pain and infections. If you see signs of depression, such as feelings of hopelessness or helplessness, loss of interest in other activities, social withdrawal, find help. That is a clear sign that it is time for intervention.

In difficult circumstances, some caretakers may appear disoriented, erratic and/or highly emotional. Let extreme changes in mood, behaviors or routine be a signal to you that something is wrong.

Caring for the Caregiver

If any of this sounds familiar, please take the necessary steps. As a caregiver, know that reaching out for help and taking care of yourself are just as important to your role as a caregiver as the caregiving itself. If you know someone who is responsible for a loved one’s wellbeing and is exhibiting signs of burnout, lend a helping hand. Here are some steps that you can take:

Self-assess. Take a moment to do personal inventory. If your energy levels have been low and your patience thin, admit it to yourself. That is the only way to begin the process of improving your situation.
Take a break. If you do not have to, don’t go it alone. Ask friends or family members to stay over a couple nights a week so that you can get a full night’s rest. See if they can watch your loved for a couple of hours during the day while you take some personal time. If there is no one available, take advantage of some of the caregiver resources (found below) that can assist you.
Be mindful. Include a mindfulness, mediation or prayer practice in your day. This serves to increase your self-awareness and promotes relaxation while you are awake. Fifteen minutes can make a world of difference.
Find support. As a caregiver, you might be too busy to know that there is help available to you, even if you feel like you are all alone. Please check out the following resources:
- AARP CareConnection
- National Alliance for Caregiving

Want to see if you or someone you love is battling caregiver burnout, take this short quiz:

https://www.caring.com/articles/caregiver-burnout-quiz

Contributed by

Shani Bell, MAAT, LPC-Intern

Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S

Categories : Anxiety & Panic, Counseling, Depression, Emotions and Relationships, Mental Health, Self-Awareness, Self-Care Practices, Stress Management, transitions

Tags : anxiety & panic, counseling, depression, emotions and relationships, mental health, self-awareness, self-care practices, stress management, Transitions

Mess & Stress: The Science Behind Your Clutter

Posted by Shani Bell on

July 6, 2017

· 1 Comment

Look around you right now. Can you see the floor or is it covered in laundry? Are you reading this while sitting at a desk stacked high with clutter? So maybe you are not quite at hoarder status, but if you find yourself struggling to keep your external space organized, it might reflect a similar internal struggle.

Getting to the Bottom of the Pile

Some people are nurtured into a messy lifestyle. They grow up in families where a disorganized space is the norm. Others may find the busyness of life or personal circumstances leads to neglect in places like their home, workspace or vehicle. Maybe it feels like there is too much to do and too little time, so neatness is sacrificed for a higher priority. You may feel the whole process of keeping order overwhelming, tiring and pointless. Won’t it just get messy again anyway?

But there is a benefit to making order a priority in your life. Studies point out that a clean space can contribute to better cognition and better sleep. It is also physically safer and more life-efficient. Just as clutter in your physical space can signify clutter in your mental space, order around you can be a sign of an orderly mind. Living, and attempting to function, in messy spaces can also increase anxiety. And who needs extra anxiety??

What comes first – the mess or the stress?

Much like the age-old question about the chicken or the egg, identifying if your stress leads to mess or the other way around can be a challenge. Those who struggle with anxiety, depression or other factors that contribute to a lack of motivation may also tend to struggle with keeping their spaces tidy. Though others may dismiss these people as just being lazy. In other words, your mess might not be the cause of anxiety or depression, but it might be a symptom of it.

Getting out of the Dumps

So, what do you do about the mess?

If you believe that your clutter problem might be due to an internal struggle, try addressing the root of the problem. This might mean some self-reflection, confronting a person or thing you have been avoiding or seeking the help of a mental health professional. Do what it takes to function at your best.

But whether the mess is the cause or symptom, anyone can benefit from clearing the clutter. If this task seems too daunting. Try the following tips:

Focus. Find one project to tackle and stick with it. Don’t allow yourself to try to achieve too many organization goals at once. Give yourself time-limited breaks for long tasks and get right back to it. Leave distractions like cellphones and computers in the other room.
Stash it away. Your brain is taking in everything it sees and it can be overwhelming. Neatly store items that you do not use often out of sight. Try organizing the items that you frequently use in easily accessible but less visible places.
Put it back. After you gain order, don’t make it hard on yourself. It may seem easier in the short-term to just throw that one item on the floor, but over time you will find yourself right back in the middle of a mess. Give “future you” a break and put it back where you found it. You’ll find that creating and maintaining order over time helps you breathe a little easier.

Want to know more? Check out these related articles:

Contributed by

Shani Bell, MAAT, LPC-Intern

Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S

Categories : Anxiety & Panic, Counseling, Depression, Mental Health, Self-Awareness, Sticky

Tags : anxiety, counseling, depression, mental health, self-awareness

The Practice of Resilience

Posted by Angela Blocker on

May 8, 2017

Everyone reaches a point when moving forward seems impossible. You feel you’ve given your best in your marriage, with your family and in your friendships. You’re are working harder and harder but none of your hard work seems to be paying off. You seem to fail repeatedly. What happens after you’ve tried and failed again and again?

Often, we feel hopeless.

In the 1960’s, researchers studied the learning process by conducting experiments measuring in response to rewards or punishments. This form of learning was called classical conditioning. Originally It was researched by physiologist Ivan Pavlov in his pioneering study who taught dogs to salivate at the ringing of a bell. The work of the 1960’s expanded upon the classical conditioning learning approach by investigating the role of motivation.

Dr. Martin Seligman, known as the father of Positive Psychology, and his colleagues conducted a similar experiment with dogs testing motivation. The dogs would hear a bell followed a light shock administered to the dog. In time, the dogs learned to respond to the shock when the bell sounded. Seligman and his fellow researches did not expect what happened next.

All the dogs were then placed in large crates with a low fence in between. One side of the fence had an electrified floor. Researches gave a light shock when the dogs were on the electrified side but to their surprise, the dogs did not jump to the non-shocking side of the fence. Instead, they laid down. The dogs learned from the first part of the experiment that they were powerless to avoid the shocks. A new set of dogs that had not experienced the shock jumped right over the fence.

This condition was described as “learned helplessness.” This is a state where someone does not attempt to escape a negative situation because the past traumas or persistent failure has taught them powerlessness.

In any situation where they have repeatedly tried and failed, people can develop learned helplessness.

But it can be unlearned.

Dr. Seligman wrote an article on how to become resilient. He offered these suggestions:

1. Increase mental toughness

Notice and dispute unrealistic beliefs. Often, our thoughts about the consequences or outcome have a greater impact than the consequences or outcomes themselves.

Dr. Seligman incorporates the ABCD model to explain:

C=emotional (C)onsequences (“I’m unloveable”) stem not directly from A = (A)dversity (Ex: crisis in relationship) but from B=one’s (B)eliefs about adversity (Ex:“’This is the end of the world for me”). The trick here is to (D)ispute unrealistic beliefs about adversity. (Ex: Is it really the end of the world?).

This ABCD approach was modeled from Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy Albert Ellis’ and is a way to create new possibilities by viewing setbacks in new ways.

2. Play to your strengths

Dr. Seligman oversaw the development of a test highlighting the core characteristics and best qualities of a person. Identify your strengths. Consider your top strengths and how each as allowed you to accomplish your previous goals. Take time to evaluate which strengths do not come as naturally to you and put effort into developing them. Write a narrative about how your strengths have served you in challenging situations.

3. Give yourself a real compliment.

Dr. Seligman said to be specific in your compliments. This idea comes from Carol Dweck, author of MindSet and next generation researcher of learned helplessness. Dweck believes most basic abilities can be developed through dedication, hard work and accurate praise. When you work hard, instead of telling yourself, “Good job. I’m awesome!” Be specific. Say, “Today I did a really good job at maintaining eye contact.” Or “I have been trying really hard the last few weeks to be attentive in my marriage by doing the dishes the way my wife likes.” “I have been training every day for a week even when I didn’t want to. I’m proud of myself for that.” When you’ve been working hard, reward yourself by stating it so it encourages you to continue in the future.

Resilience isn’t easy, but like any skill is learned. Take time to look at a situation differently, work your strengths as you move through it and acknowledge your hard work. Fuller Life helps people strengthen and motivate themselves towards long-term resilience.

Contributed by Angela Blocker , M.A, LMFT Associate

Clinical Supervision by Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT, LPC

Categories : Cognitive Reframing, Counseling, Emotional Intelligence, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Self-Awareness, Self-Care Practices, Social Skills, Stress Management

Tags : depression, resilience

5 Questions People Who Might Have Major Depression Ask Themselves

Posted by Angela Blocker on

December 6, 2016

· No Comments

Major depression or clinical depression can feel overwhelming. Spending time with family and friends or doing activities that were once enjoyable may feel exhausting and emotionally taxing. Those struggling with may find themselves asking tough questions that could indicate undiagnosed major depression.

“Was Life This Hard Before?”

Depression affects the basic human functioning of a person and hinders everyday life. Mix together a tragic event with debilitating negative self- thoughts, insomnia/hypersomnia, undereating/overeating, well-meaning but misunderstanding family and friends, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster. This is not to mention daily stressors from everyday responsibilities. Soon, beginning each day becomes more difficult and spending time with loved ones requires more energy. Major Depression also looks like disinterest in activities and hobbies previously enjoyed. Over time, the walk through life becomes a cyclical trudge of monotony and listlessness.

“What’s Wrong with Me?”

Many factors contribute to depression. Major events, such as death or loss, genetics, serious illness, certain medications, abuse, or financial circumstances can trigger the onset of depression. Often, combinations of these happen simultaneously – leading to an increased likelihood of major depression. Moreover, most sufferers are unaware of the compounded effects and do not seek help until their symptoms are unbearable.

“Am I Alone?”

According to the National Institute on Mental Health, 16.1 million people experienced at least one major depressive episode during the year 2015. Notably, one out of two people will have some form of depression in their lifetime. It affects every demographic and is found in all cultures.

“Why Won’t I Get Help?”

One of the main reasons individuals who may have major depression do not seek help is shame for not being ‘normal’. A study from a group of European psychiatric researchers found that the impact of shame for depression towards oneself was greater than anticipated shame by others. In other words, how you view yourself influences whether you will seek help. In addition to shame, Margarita Tartakovsker, Associate Editor of Psych Central, lists severity, questions about getting started, time and energy, and money as reasons for why people do not get help. While waiting may seem like a good idea, it can lead to longer depressive episodes, other illnesses and even suicide. In fact, depression is a completely treatable disease.

“Where Do I Start?”

If you, or someone you know, is experiencing increased feelings of sadness, low energy, decreased interest and/or difficulty participating in usual activities or hobbies, difficulty getting or staying asleep, thoughts of suicide, weight loss or gain , consider these options:

Screen Yourself or a Loved One
Seek out a physician or licensed mental health professional.
1. Psychiatrists are medical doctors who treat mental health illnesses by finding organic causes and can prescribe medication.
2. Psychologists are skilled in assessing and diagnosing mental health disorders and can provide therapy.
3. Licensed therapists are trained to evaluate and treat mental problems through counseling and therapy.
Talk to someone you trust about the changes you’ve see in yourself or a loved one
Become educated about depression in general
If you are having thoughts of suicide, please call
1. 1 (800)SUICIDE or 1(800) 784-2433
2. Go to the nearest emergency room.

Depression can feel like it has taken away your natural resilience to life’s challenges. It can make you feel powerless. However, you can take action. You can get your life back.

Fuller Life is here to restore you to health and advance you to a wholeness you never dreamed possible.

See our Scoop it! Page on Dancing with Depression.

Contributed by

Angela Blocker , M.A, LMFT Associate

Clinical Supervision by Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT, LPC

References

Bernstein, E. (2010, September 7). A way out of depression. . Retrieved from http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052748703946504575470040863778372
Murray, C. J. L., & Lopez, A. D. (1996). The global burden of disease: A comprehensive assessment of mortality ans disability from diseases, injuries, and risk factors in 1990 and projected to 2020. Cambridge, MA: Published by the Harvard School of Public Health on behalf of the World Health Organization and the World Bank.
Orenstein, B. W. (2012, August 30). Beth W. Orenstein. . Retrieved from http://www.everydayhealth.com/hs/major-depression/if-depression-goes-untreated/
Schomerus, G., Matschinger, H., & Angermeyer, M. C. (2009). The stigma of psychiatric treatment and help-seeking intentions for depression. European Archives of Psychiatry and Clinical Neuroscience, 259(5), 298–306. doi:10.1007/s00406-009-0870-y
Tartakovsky, M. (2013). What Prevents People From Seeking Mental Health Treatment?. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 15, 2016, from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/01/14/what-prevents-people-from-seeking-mental-health-treatment/
Causes of depression. (2016, August 26). Retrieved October 15, 2016, from WebMD, http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/causes-depression#1

Categories : Depression, Mental Health, Sticky

Tags : bipolar disorder, depression, major depression

Baby Blues Gone Bad

Posted by Laura Cardella on

September 8, 2016

· No Comments

The promise of new life brings with it anticipation and dreams of a growing family. Happiness is what many of us think of when we await the arrival of a child. However, as many as 13- 20% of new mothers experience post-partum depression. Baby Blues is the name given to a natural transition period of two weeks after giving birth, when 70% of mothers experience high emotions and mood swings and anxiety about parenting an infant. Those who experience depression for periods longer than two weeks may be experiencing Post-Partum Depression (PPD). The third and most serious of these post-partum ailments is post-partum psychosis; but we will focus on post-partum depression in this article.

PPD’s Major Symptoms

The symptoms of post-partum depression match those of a major depressive episode and may include sadness, loss of interest in usual pursuits, poor sleep, lethargy, weight loss or gain, anxiety, feeling worthless or thoughts of suicide.

Post-Partum Psychosis

A more serious and less common ailment that may develop after childbirth is called Post-Partum Psychosis. Post-partum psychosis develops suddenly and may include cognitive problems such as delusions, confusion, inability to function, and thoughts of harming herself or baby. Post- partum psychosis is more serious than Baby Blues or Post-Partum Depression and requires immediate medical and mental health treatment.

Effects of Post-Partum Depression

Post-partum depression is severe enough to have both short and long term effects on mother and baby emotionally, socially and cognitively. Children of mothers suffering from PPD, who were tested from 7 days to 12 years of age, showed evidence of lagging at each developmental stage. Feldman(2009) claims mothers with PPD have “difficulty in supporting a child’s independence, creativity, executive functions, empathy and peer friendships, all functions that emerge during the preschool stage.” The low social interaction between a mother with PPD and her infant reflects the mother’s lack of energy and involvement. Early diagnosis and ongoing evaluation and treatment is necessary to minimize the negative effects to mother, baby and family.

Types of Mental Health Treatments

The types of psychotherapy used to treat post-partum depression may include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), non-directive counseling, hypnosis, art therapy, inter-personal therapy, relaxation exercises and problem solving techniques. Phone coaching has also been used for the convenience of the new mother.

Successful Treatment Programs 

Current successful treatment programs include:

The Scottish Mellow Babies programs post-partum therapy offered from the beginning of pregnancy as part of birthing classes Based on up to date research, Mellow Parenting designs programmes to address gaps in current service provision which help to address social and health inequalities. The programmes are piloted and evaluated thoroughly until the evidence suggests that they work effectively.

Hospitals that offer post-partum therapy for all mothers from the beginning of pregnancy during birthing classes. See a list of postpartum locations here.

Pediatricians and therapists who partner to offer post-partum programs prescribing mothers’ counseling or group therapy sessions synchronized with appointments when the new baby sees a pediatrician. Postpartum depression: an update

Moving Forward Globally

Post-partum depression treatment is an area that needs further study and the development of best practices. Mothers suffer, infants fall behind developmentally and families are stressed by post- partum depression. It is time to do something about this centuries old, worldwide illness. We urgently need awareness and timely therapy during this vulnerable post-partum time.

Who Will Answer?

Who will advocate for this population? Who will speak to the medical and mental health providers? Will you? Will you inform your doctors and encourage them to offer and promote proactive practices on behalf of the world’s littlest and weakest? Together we can improve lives of mothers, babies and families.

Remember Fuller Life Family Therapy when you need a trained ear to listen.

Resources:

Clay, E.& Seehusen, D. (2004). A review of postpartum depression for the primary care physician. Southern Medical Journal, 97 (2):157-61; quiz 162.

Feldman, R., & Eidelman, A. I. (2009) Biological and environmental initial conditions shape the trajectories of cognitive and social–emotional development across the first years of life. Developmental Science, 12(1), 194–200.

Lewis, Carol; Byers, Allison; Malard, Sarah; and Dawson, Gregory. (2010). Challenges in diagnosing and Treating Post-Partum Blues, Depression and Psychosis. Alabama Counseling Association Journal, 36, 1.

Murray, L., Cooper, P., Wilson, A. and Romaniuk, H. (2003). Controlled trial of the short- and long-term effect of psychological treatment of post-partum depression: 2. Impact on the mother-child relationship and child outcome. British Journal of Psychiatry, 182:420-7.

Puckering C. (2010). Mellow Babies: A group intervention for infants and mothers experiencing postnatal depression. Counselling Psychology Review, 25(1), 28-40.

Sit, Dorothy; Rothschild, Anthony; Wisner, Katherine L. (2006). “A Review of Postpartum Psychosis.” Journal of Women’s Health (15409996) 15(4), 352-368.

Laura L. Cardella, LPC Intern Supervised by Amy Fuller PhD, LPC-S

Categories : Anxiety Issues, Counseling, Depression, Mental Health, Post Partum Depression

Tags : anxiety, counseling, depression, mental health, post partum depression

Lessons on Materialism as Told by Rock ‘n’ Roll Legends

Posted by Manet Castaneda on

July 20, 2016

· No Comments

We live in a world in which we are constantly bombarded with images of celebrities and their flawless bodies, luxurious homes, the latest fashion trends, and the coolest gadgets. In the midst of all of these things it can be easy to be swayed towards the belief that we are supposed to live our lives according to the standards that society sets for us. Consider the following questions:

Do you believe that you would be happier if you just had more money?
Do you envy those who have nicer belongings than you do?
Do you and your partner worry about accumulating wealth and assets?

If you answered yes to any of the questions above, you may want to consider whether you are placing a high level of importance on acquiring wealth, and if so, what potential side effects this type of thinking may have on your life and relationships.

I Can’t Get No Satisfaction

The Rolling Stones may have been on to something when they wrote I Can’t Get No Satisfaction, referring to not being satisfied by material things despite trying. Interestingly, according to Carolyn Gregorie of The Huffington Post, Americans have more cars and eat out more than they did roughly 50 years ago. However, despite having more, Americans are still not happier. Research has found that, although the levels of consumption have risen in the past 50 years, Americans’ overall wellbeing has declined.

You may be asking yourself, “Why does this all matter?” Well, if you believe that the solution to your problems is having more, you may want to take note that research has found having more does not necessarily mean you will be happier. In fact, it has found that those who work towards accumulating wealth and assets have a tendency to experience less positive emotions throughout their day and are less satisfied than those who do not pursue wealth.

Money Talks

In AC/DC’s popular song, Money Talks, part of the chorus says “Come on, come on, love me for the money,” as if having large amounts of money can make someone fall in love with you. Interestingly, research has shown that individuals who are materialistic may find themselves in unhappy relationships compared to those who do not place importance on their belongings and the acquisition of more. Jason Carroll, professor of family life at Brigham Young University found this is true for all income classes. Additionally, his study found that the least satisfying marriages were those in which both partners placed great importance on their possessions.

Carroll and his research team developed theories as to how materialism can affect a relationship, and they believe that it could be that those couples who spend more time focusing on accumulating wealth spend less time working on strengthening their relationship. Another theory that Carroll and his team considered was that reckless spending habits caused couples to have more stress and more discussions. Therefore they were more likely to be dissatisfied with their relationship.

Welcome to the Hotel California

The Eagles give their listeners a glimpse into the powerful trap of materialism in their popular song, Hotel California. The lyrics of the song paint a picture of a man caught in the life of luxury at the Hotel California, only to realize too late that he and everyone there “are all just prisoners… of [their] own device.” As if the effects of materialism listed above were not worrisome enough, studies have found that individuals who are materialistic are also more insecure, anxious, and depressed than those individuals who are not materialistic.

In a different study, psychologist Galen V. Bodenhausen and his team of researchers found that students who were exposed to images of luxury items and words compared to students who were exposed to nature scenes, rated themselves higher in anxiety and depression than the other students. This research is important because it indicates that people who have a mind frame of materialism may have higher levels of depression and anxiety as opposed to those individuals who do not.

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

We live in a society that applies a great deal of pressure on its consumers to have more in order to be “happy.” We have been led to believe that satisfaction will come from collecting material things. However, this way of thinking does not guarantee happiness, stable relationships, or a reduction in anxiety and depression. In fact, being materialistic seems to provide the complete opposite by leading to less satisfaction, strained relationships, and higher levels of anxiety and depression.

If living the life of a rock ‘n’ roll star is not the way towards a life of happiness and fulfillment, then how do you find satisfaction? Perhaps it might be found in engaging in the opposite of materialism, gratitude. Recent studies on happiness suggest that having deep feelings of gratitude beyond good manners could contribute largely to our happiness. With all of this in mind, just remember the wise words of Axl Rose, ” nothin’ lasts forever, even cold November rain.”

Manet Castaneda

Practicum Student Therapist

Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT, LPC

To schedule an appointment please contact me by email at Manet@FullerLifeFamilyTherapy.org, by phone at (832) 981-7690, or through our webform.

Categories : Cognitive Reframing, Counseling, Couples, Depression, Emotional Intelligence, Emotions and Relationships, Gratitude, Marriage, Mental Health, Mindfulness Practice, Problem Solving, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Sticky, Stress Management

Tags : cognitive reframing, counseling, couples, depression, emotional intelligence, emotions and relationships, gratitude, marriage, mental health, mindfulness practice, Problem Solving, relationships, self-esteem, stress manage, stress management

Add Flavor to Mindfulness with Color and Music?

Posted by Shani Bell on

March 15, 2016

· No Comments

There has been much focus lately on the benefits of mindfulness, a practice that encourages focused attention and self-acceptance in the present moment. You may know about mindfulness through methods like meditation, prayer and yoga. But what might happen to your mindfulness practice if you added a little art or music?

Why Try Mindfulness?

Why practice mindfulness in the first place? Research shows that mindfulness increases focus and can decrease symptoms related to stress, anxiety, fatigue, depression, chronic pain, sleep problems and high blood pressure. Baer informs us that mindfulness encourages people to focus on present thoughts and emotions in a way that is accepting and curious rather than judgmental. Being hypercritical of thoughts and emotions can cause us to push them away increasing stress and tension. We find ourselves saying things like, “Ugh! I shouldn’t feel this way!” It is better to acknowledge thoughts and feelings for what they are and begin the process of self-regulation. With mindfulness, we increase our present, personal and environmental awareness. We can then take the opportunity to curiously observe and honestly observe our inner experience, labeling what is happening, accepting it as it is and then releasing it with a prayer or meditative statement.

Artful Awareness

Therapeutic approaches like Mindfulness-Based Art Therapy (MBAT) have found similarities between creative and mindfulness practices. These two practices can be combined to enhance their effectiveness. Activities like drawing, playing an instrument, listening to music or writing poetry require single-task concentration that reflects the same sort of present-awareness needed to participate in mindfulness.

Consider this. When an artist draws her subject, she must observe it closely, recognizing the shape and position of the subject, noticing the folds and creases. She would not be likely to see these details if she were just observing that same thing in passing. With a mindful stance she can more adequately depict the subject of her art. The more the artist practices this type of art, the more she finds her ability to “see” improves. In learning to play music, the body and mind are fully engaged in the singular task of creating sound. The fingers are positioned, the body is postured and the mind is alert. The more the musician practices, the more natural his movements and the flow of music become.

When incorporating the arts into mindfulness practice, skill level in playing music or creating artwork is not the focus. The intention is to use the creative process to stay engaged and increase the focus on the present experience: what you see, think, hear and how you are inwardly responding. Use the art as an anchor to maintain present focus when the mind starts to wander.

So, what are some examples of ways you could incorporate creativity into your mindfulness practice?

Try blind contour drawing. Choose a drawing utensil (marker, pencil, chalk, etc.) and a piece of paper. Find a subject in your environment and focus in on it. While your eyes trace the lines and shapes of the subject, move your drawing utensil in unison, drawing one contiguous line but WITHOUT looking at your paper. This exercise requires deep concentration. To process troubling emotions, try finding a subject that is related to the issue at hand. For example, if you are having a disagreement with a family member that is causing you distress, find a picture of that person and use this as the subject of your contour drawing. Allow yourself to be non-judgmentally present with any feelings that may arise. You might even try journaling after the exercise. Couples could practice present awareness with each other by creating a blind contour drawing of their partner.

Blind contour drawing of a hand

Find time alone to play an instrument like the drums or the piano. Try closing your eyes while playing and improvising or playing by ear. As you do this, observe the changes in your bodily responses as well as what emotions or imagery come up for you during this creative experience.

If you do not have access to an instrument or do not feel musically inclined, you can listen to music mindfully. Choose a particular song or genre of music to which you feel connected. Pay attention to the characteristics of the song: beat, changes in tempo, harmony, melody, etc. Notice how the visceral responses in your body and emotions respond. Identify the mood of the song and how this connects to your inner experience. If the song has lyrics, notice what words or verses stand out to you.

There are a myriad of ways that the arts can be used to engage your senses and keep you inspired to stay present. Be creative and find what works for you. As you develop a lifestyle of mindfulness, you will likely find a deeper understanding of yourself and a greater sense of the world around you.

If you are seeking a professional to help you to gain awareness and personal insight, please contact us at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute.

Shani Bell, MAAT, LPC-Intern

Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S and Dr. Sheryl Corbit, EdD, ATR-BC, LPC-AT/S

References

Baer, R. A. (2003). Mindfulness training as a clinical intervention: A conceptual and empirical review. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 10, 125–143. Retrieved from http://www.ecsa.ucl.ac.be/personnel/philippot/DocStudents/baer%202003%20mindfulness%20training%20as%20clinical%20intervention.pdf

Eckhardt, K. J. and Dinsmore, J. A. (2012). Mindful music listening as a potential treatment for depression. Journal of Creativity in Mental Health, 7, 176-186. Retrieved from http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15401383.2012.685020

Grant, A. M., Langer, E. J., Falk, E. & Capodilupo, C. (2004). Mindful creativity: Drawing to draw distinctions. Creativity Research Journal, 16, 261-265. Retrieved from http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/10400419.2004.9651457

Monti, D. A., Peterson, C., Shakin Kunkel, E. J., Hauck, W. W., Pequignot, E., Rhodes, L., & Brainard, G. C. (2006). A randomized, controlled trial of Mindfulness-Based Art Therapy (MBAT) for women with cancer. Psycho-Oncology, 15, 363–373. Retrieved from http://www.mindfullart.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Controlled-Triall-2005.pdf

Oyan, S. (2006). Mindfulness meditation: Creative musical performance through awareness. Retrieved from http://etd.lsu.edu/docs/available/etd-03312006-164516/unrestricted/Oyan_dis.pdf

Categories : Anxiety & Panic, Counseling, Depression, Mental Health, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Care Practices, Sticky, Stress Management

Tags : anxiety, anxiety and panic, counseling, depression, emotional intelligence, mental health, mindfulness, mindfulness practice, self-care, Self-Care Practice, self-care practices, stress management

Is it Okay to Feel Sad Over the Holidays?

Posted by JenniferChristian on

December 11, 2014

The holiday season is often filled with a mixture of feelings. Many of us believe that we are supposed to feel happy and lighthearted this time of year. It may appear that everyone else around us has it “all together” and is having a good time. Could something be wrong if we actually feel sad?

Sadness is actually very common for many during this time of year.

“Listening in” to our sadness may be the beginning of a journey toward healing. Our emotions (e.g., happiness, anger, sadness, fear, etc.) give us clues to better understand ourselves and navigate the world we inhabit. Our body is telling us that something may need to change so that we can live more fully. There are a number of possibilities that can contribute to feelings of sadness such as unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others, fatigue, poor nutrition or physical health, destructive relationship patterns, and even the belief that we need to be perfect.

According to Dr. Heidi, Lepper ,

“Sadness must be viewed as a temporary and useful state. It is okay to be sad! It is there to help you learn something important, and that is to solve a problem! When you protect yourself from it, avoid it all together, put it in your pocket, or surround yourself with people trying to “cheer” you up, you just eliminated learning something useful. First, that you have the ability to make solid changes to the loss or failure that warranted the sadness and second, that you have a tool bag to go to to cope until that change takes effect. Again, sadness, like all emotions, is a temporary state, our bodies do not sustain the emotional impact for long, so use it while you have it.”

How can we respond to ourselves when we feel sad? We can create a plan of self-care. Here are a few ideas to get started:

Try not to beat yourself up with how you “should” feel. When we learn that sadness is a normal experience that is common during the holidays, it takes the pressure off of having to be or feel a certain way.
A little self-compassion goes a long way. Write out some ideas on how you can be kind to yourself when you feel sad.
Establish more realistic goals and expectations. Make a list of all of the extra to-do’s and cross some things off the list.
Get some rest. When we skip out on sleep in order to keep up with all of the extra demands, it can increase irritability and impact our ability to think clearly.
Make a little time to exercise. A brisk walk or jog can really improve one’s mood and give a little bit more energy to meet the extra demands.
Practice gratitude. Noticing just a few blessings every day can actually increase feelings of hopefulness.
Find someone supportive and trustworthy to talk honestly and openly about what the sadness means for you.

If you feel sad today, you are not alone. Fuller Life Family Therapy is here to support and encourage anyone on their journey toward a fuller life.

For more ideas on “beating the holiday blues” check out these links:

Contributed by:

Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC

Categories : Depression, Mental Health, Self-Care Practices, Sticky

Tags : compassion, counseling, depression, gratitude

Archive for depression

How do we experience grief?

How do we respond to grief?

The Numbers Don’t Lie

Signs of Trouble

Caring for the Caregiver

Getting to the Bottom of the Pile

What comes first – the mess or the stress?

Getting out of the Dumps

1. Increase mental toughness

2. Play to your strengths

3. Give yourself a real compliment.

“Was Life This Hard Before?”

“What’s Wrong with Me?”

“Am I Alone?”

“Why Won’t I Get Help?”

“Where Do I Start?”

References

PPD’s Major Symptoms

Post-Partum Psychosis

Effects of Post-Partum Depression

Types of Mental Health Treatments

Successful Treatment Programs

Moving Forward Globally

Who Will Answer?

Resources:

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