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Archive for growth

A Growth Mindset Can Prevent Burn Out!

Posted by Angela Blocker on
 September 5, 2019
  · 1 Comment

This month, Fuller Life connected with first year pre-med students at Prairie View A&M University to discuss how to avoid burn out by working hard while staying true to one’s values.

Why A Growth Mindset Matters

Many high achieving students find it is easy to coast through school on talents alone. However, many experience burn out when their mindset and focus become fixed on maintaining labels like “smart” or “talented.” Dr. Carol Dweck identified the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. When one chooses to hold a fixed mindset, they give up easily, strive for success over growth, avoid failures, and ignore useful negative feedback. This is in stark contrast to a growth mindset. In her book Mindset, Dr. Dweck explained that “…people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment.”

How Values Affect Growth

Additionally, students were encouraged to consider the importance of remaining true to what they value. If a growth mindset is the fuel that keeps a car going; then, staying authentic is the compass that points towards the destination. Values motivate us and living authentically to our values can lead to a fuller life.  When we do not uphold the values we believe in, it can lead to lack of integrity, feeling confused about who we are, and a tendency to allow others to direct our lives. Taking time to identify the values that are most important to you can reinforce a growth mindset and help prevent burn out!

Avoiding Burn Out with Fuller Life and Prairie View A&M University

 

References

 

Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. New York: Robinson.

Leiter, M. P., Frank, E., & Matheson, T. (2009). Values, Demands, and Burnout: Perspectives From National Survey of Canadian Physicians. PsycEXTRA Dataset. doi: 10.1037/e604522009-001

 

 

Categories : Counseling
Tags : failure, growth, growth mindset, resilience, stress, values, wellness

Me Before You: What kind of relationship do you have?

Posted by 1-Lindsay Perry on
 December 9, 2018
  · 1 Comment

Since we can feel chemistry and passion so quickly and effortlessly for someone else, that means staying with that person should be easy, right? Except, most of us eventually feel a fading of that initial passion, chemistry, and excitement in a relationship. What do we have left after these feelings pass?

Happily ever after?

When the relationship hits trouble, we sometimes feel tricked, lied to, and wonder if we can make it work. We wonder if it will last. Then, we busy our minds with thoughts of what the other person is doing, why they do the things they do, and why they are the way they are. Our thoughts get us feeling stuck and defeated. We get so focused on the other person that we completely forget about ourselves. A great relationship with others starts with a great relationship with yourself.

When the relationship starts sinking

Having a relationship with yourself may sound like something that doesn’t make sense. In our culture, relationships carry so much weight and pressure that it sometimes feels as though we’re drowning in them. When we feel like we’re drowning, we look to our partner, our friend, or our family member to save us. Then, we get upset when they don’t save us. The difficult truth here is that they can’t. The people in our lives can support us, aid us, and love us.  What they cannot do is save us…especially from ourselves. This is the terrifying part. If they can’t save us, who can?

Do you know how to swim?

We can expedite the destruction of our relationships by expecting that others will keep us from drowning when they may be drowning just like we are. Coming up for air starts with ourselves. It starts with knowing and loving ourselves enough to confront and realize that we’ve been drowning in the shallow end of a pool because we didn’t know we had feet. If we don’t see that we have feet, we can’t stand up and support ourselves. We may look to anyone and everyone else to pull us out of the water and save us when we feel like we’re drowning. Expecting others to save us can cripple and destroy relationships, and take a toll on those around us.

What does this mean? First and foremost, it means to begin by seeing that we may be drowning. We need to see that we’re in the shallow end of our own pool. Then, we need to look down, see we have feet, and then believe that those feet will support us when we stand up. For healthy relationships, we need to see that we can support ourselves, and choose to love ourselves while choosing to love others.

What about you?

So how are you loving yourself today? We are human. There will be mistakes and we will fall down. We worry and we expect. We have flaws and pitfalls, but we don’t have to become these things. As humans, we are more than the things we don’t like about ourselves. We are also our strengths, capabilities, and talents. We are all of these things combined and we are worth loving all of these things together; the good and the bad. While it may not be as easy as automatically loving ourselves, we can choose daily to be kind and open to who and where we are. We are worth being loved by others, and we are worth being loved by ourselves. In our worthiness, we can choose love daily.

For more content on relationships and self-love, follow the links below:

  • (2015, November 17). Skills for healthy romantic relationships: Joanne Davila [Video file].
  • Skills for Healthy Romantic Relationships

    By Joanne Davila

  • Finding Love: How to love yourself first
  • You have to love yourself before you can love someone else

Contributed by Lindsay Perry, M.Ed, LPC Intern #79863

Clinical Supervision by Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S

 

 

 

Categories : Boundaries, Counseling, Couples, Emotions and Relationships, Marriage, Relationships, Self-Awareness, Sticky
Tags : couples, emotions and relationships, growth, marriage, relationship, self-awareness

Why People Who are Different than You can Make a Difference in Your Life

Posted by Tamara Tatum on
 May 16, 2017
  · No Comments

People are naturally discriminating. Our brains are constantly scanning  the environment looking for out potential threats. A threat can be something known to us – something that has caused us harm in the past – or unknown, something new and unfamiliar. It can be easy to give in to this natural response and remain within our comfortable, safe, social bubbles. In fact, there is evidence that social diversity can lead to lack of trust, lower communication, greater perceived conflict, more concern about disrespect.

Why would we go through the work of overriding our brain’s natural response to unfamiliar (and potentially threatening) stimuli? Why would we engage in interactions with people who are different than us?

First, we know that personal growth does not happen when we remain in our comfort zone.

Second, there is evidence that diversity makes us smarter. Being in a diverse environment enhances creativity, encourages search for novel information and perspectives, and leads to better decision making and problem solving. Research has even shown that increasing gender and racial diversity in the workplace has improved financial performance for banks.

If you are ready to take the risk and build relationships with someone who might look, think or act differently than you, here are some tips (adapted from the Community Tool Box):

1. Become aware of your own culture and biases.

To become aware of your own culture, think about your multiple identities (religion, nationality, race, sexual identity, ethnicity, occupation, marital status, age, ability, geographic region).  Then consider how these identites affect how you live and perceive the world? We all carry biases and misinformation about groups of people that can come from various sources (i.e., the media, our families, etc.).

2. Risk making mistakes

If we’re going to step out and do something new, we have a guarantee that we will make mistakes. What can make a world of difference is to recognize this ahead of time. We can also be willing to make amends when miscommunication or unintended offenses come up.

3. Be willing to learn

There are many ways that we can learn about others.  Here are a few ideas:

  •  Read about or research a different culture.
  • Attend a local event.
  • Simply ask questions about another’s culture, identities, views, etc.

4. Demonstrate you care by truly listening and becoming an ally

Everyone, including you, has a story to tell. Hearing someone share his or her experiences can help us connect, despite differences, on a human level.

Becoming an ally means being willing to stick your neck out for someone else and speaking out against, or acting to stop, discrimination.

If you step outside of your social comfort zone, you may risk conflict, mistakes, and misunderstandings.  However,  you may also gain personal growth, creativity, better problem solving skills and new relationships!

For Further Reading:

  • Building Relationships with people of a different culture
  • How diversity makes us smarter
  • 7 Mistakes You Make in Your Discomfort Zone that Limit Your Growth and How to Stop Making Them

Contributed by

Tamara Tatum, LMFT-Associate

Supervised by Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S

Categories : Communication, Empathy, Relationships, Self-Awareness, Sticky
Tags : culture, difference, diversity, growth, relationships
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Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute
  • Home
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  • Info
    • Our Locations
    • New Client Forms
    • Therapy Fees
    • Information for New clients
    • Secure Inquiry Form
    • Initial Session Form
    • Telemental Health Consent Form
  • Services
    • Individual Counseling
    • Couples Counseling
    • Family Counseling
    • Counseling Kids
    • Counseling with Teens
    • Speaking Engagements
  • Team
    • Harold Gibson, Student Therapist
    • Lindsay Perry, Resident Therapist, Loop
    • Stephanie Jordan, Resident Therapist, Loop
    • Chantail Green, Resident Therapist
    • Dormetra Henry, Resident Therapist
    • Riya Roney, Resident Therapist
    • Dr. Amy Fuller, Clinical Director
  • Resources
    • Houston Sliding-Scale Therapy Agencies
    • Mental Health Resources
      • Depression
      • Anxiety
    • Local Houston Resources
      • Helpful Books
      • Personal Bill of Rights
    • Healing Practices
      • Benefits of Self-Compassion
      • Self-Care Practices
      • Self-Compassion
  • Blog
    • Blog Grid
    • Resilient Relationships
    • Befriending Anxiety
    • Dancing Through Depression
    • Growing Kids and Teens
    • Healing Practices
    • Healing Trauma and Loss
    • Living Free from Addiction
    • Managing Anger and Stress
    • Sex Therapy
    • Navigating Separation, Divorce and Blended Families
    • Mindful Eating
    • Practicing Faith
  • New Year New You Challenge
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