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Archive for loss

When Grief and Spirituality Intersect

Posted by 1-Stephanie Jordan on
 March 30, 2020
  · No Comments

In light of the recent global novel Coronavirus pandemic that spread and claimed the lives of hundreds of thousands of people in local communities, cities, states, and countries around the world, many individuals are experiencing grief in the midst of this calamity. Some have lost loved ones due to the virus, are unable to have or attend funerals for the deceased loved one, are personally suffering from or know someone suffering from the virus, are dealing with the psychological and emotional effects of “social (physical) distancing,” and are worried about meeting the most basic needs for their family’s survival and livelihood. These concerns, among others, have caused many to experience some form of personal grief, or an existential crisis in spirituality.

Death itself, whether untimely or anticipated, sometimes leaves unanswered questions. Dr. Mark Kellenman, author of the book, “God’s Healing For Life’s Losses” examines the complexities of life’s unanswered questions; in the midst of death and in the midst of human suffering. His book offers readers a perspective on grief, spirituality, and hope through the Divine Redeemer. Although the book is specifically written for individuals of Christian faith, the concepts and perspectives shared may be applicable to other religious faiths as well. This blog will share grief perspectives from the book on how to move from depression to hope on one’s grief journey.

Traditional Perspectives on Processing Grief

Many people are familiar with the five stages of grief model first introduced by psychiatrist Elizabeth Kübler-Ross. She speculated that an individual experiences denial (stage one), anger (stage two), bargaining (stage three), and depression (stage four), before coming to acceptance (stage five). The model suggested that grief occurs in a sequential process until they reach the final stage.

Dr. Kelleman, however, viewed the five stages of grief model as too one-dimensional. Noting that individuals tend to deal with their grief in separation from others which leads to feelings of spiritual abandonment, social betrayal, and feelings of shame and self-contempt. Dr. Kelleman believes this causes spiritual depression.

Spirituality Perspectives on Processing Grief

Dr. Kellenman’s grief model, which he describes as God’s Positioning System (GPS), explains grief as a multi-dimensional process, where individuals respond to grief by integrating spirituality into their grief process. The model introduces eight stages. Four stages address hurt and four stages address hope.

Four Stages of Hurt Four Stages of Hope
Candor: Practice honesty with myself. Waiting: Groaning with Hope.
Complaint: Honesty with God. Wailing: Trusting with Faith.
Cry: Ask God for help. Weaving: Perceiving with Grace.
Comfort: Receive God’s help. Worshiping: Engaging with Love.

The eight stages describe how grievers can suffer a loss and come face-to-face with God. The traditional grief responses, introduced by Kübler Ross, are not to be minimized. Dr. Kellenman encourages grievers to learn how to move from denial to personal honesty, from anger to honesty with God, from bargaining to asking God for help, and from depression to receiving God’s help.

Moreover, the four stages of hope describe how grievers can take God’s hand and journey forward in life (acceptance) while facing the realities of their loss. Dr. Kelleman, calls this “creative suffering.” That is, creative suffering converts the suffering that batters and causes depression, into hope that, The Redeemer can bring healing to hurting hearts.

Journeying in Hope: An Alternative Perspective

Dr. Kelleman, explains the journey of grief can be emotional, complicated, and messy. It comes with hills and valleys and good days and bad days. It is normal to feel hurt and it is necessary to grieve. Remember that taking the journey with God places one’s trust and faith in His good character and his good heart that better days will come. Likewise, contemplating suffering from a grace perspective nurtures alternative ways to view life’s losses where hope can flourish, and spiritual growth can mature.

Reference:

Kellemen, R. W. (2010). God’s healing for life’s losses: How to find hope when you’re hurting.  Winona Lake, IN: BMH Books.

Categories : Anxiety Issues, Counseling, Covid-19, Depression, Depression, Bipolar, Mental Health, Spirituality, Trauma and Loss, Unemployment
Tags : anxiety, death, depression, grief, Grief Models, healing, loss, mental health, spirituality, trauma and loss

Trauma and the Body

Posted by JenniferChristian on
 August 30, 2013

Photography: Solitude by Jeremy Hockin

Many people suffer from either physical or emotional wounds that remain from a previous traumatic experience, and sometimes both. Trauma is defined as a serious injury or shock to the body, as from violence or an accident, or an event or situation that causes great distress and disruption. A traumatic experience can hijack the body and break down the connection between mind and body. We may not be able to connect rationally or articulate what we feel. In a recent interview Bessel van der Kolk, trauma expert at the Boston University School of Medicine explained,

“It’s amazing to me what a hard time many people I know have with (articulating what happened). This is not about something you think or something you figure out. This is about your body, your organism, having been reset to interpret the world as a terrifying place and yourself as being unsafe. And it has nothing to do with cognition. You can say to people, ‘You shouldn’t feel that way’ or ‘You’re not a bad person’ or ‘It wasn’t your fault.’ And people say, ‘I know that, but I feel that it is.'”

The body is designed to heal itself, and the brain’s job is to take care of the body. This is good news for many who struggle daily with the effects of trauma. Through compassionate and gentle practices we can once again embody our bodies. “Unless you befriend your body, you cannot become well.” (Bessel van der Kolk) One’s healing journey can begin with the aid of a compassionate therapist partnered with “somatic experiecing,” (explained below) such as yoga.

Therapeutic Trauma Treatments

  • EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): According to Dr. Amy Fuller, EMDR is “a revolutionary therapy that has helped millions let go of painful experiences, memories, or beliefs. By utilizing the brain’s natural healing processes, EMDR therapy quickly heals many emotional problems and conditions which have been difficult and time consuming to treat in the past.”
  • Compassion Focused Therapy: “Helps people who have undergone a traumatic experience to develop compassion for themselves and others, a sense of safety, and the ability to self-soothe when difficult memories or emotions arise.” (Lee James, and Gilbert)
  • Somatic Experiencing: “Somatic experiencing takes advantage of the body’s unique ability to heal itself. The focus of therapy is on bodily sensations, rather than thoughts and memories about the traumatic event. By concentrating on what’s happening in your body, you gradually get in touch with trauma-related energy and tension. From there, your natural survival instincts take over, safely releasing this pent-up energy through shaking, crying, and other forms of physical release.” (Robinson, Smith, and Segal)
  • Van der Kolk also suggests exploring techniques such as Rolfing, Craniosacral therapy, and Feldenkrais that “help people really feel their body, experience their body, and open up to their bodies.“

Healing Yoga for Trauma

Simple, gentle yoga therapy practice for releasing trauma.

Healing Trauma Resources

Deborah A. Lee, Sophie James, Paul Gilbert: The Compassionate-Mind Guide to Recovering from Trauma and PTSD: Using Compassion-Focused Therapy to Overcome Flashbacks, Shame, Guilt, and Fear

Lawrence Robinson, Melinda Smith, M.A., and Jeanne Segal: Emotional and Psychological Trauma

Denise Kersten Wills, Healing Life’s Traumas

Restoring the Body: Bessel van der Kolk on Yoga, EMDR, and Treating Trauma

Contributed by:

Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC

Categories : Anxiety & Panic, Compassion, Counseling, Grief, Self-Care Practices, Sticky, The Human Brain, Trauma and Loss
Tags : anxiety, compassion, grief, loss, panic, self-care, trauma
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Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute
  • Home
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    • Our Training
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  • Info
    • Our Locations
    • New Client Forms
    • Therapy Fees
    • Information for New clients
    • Secure Inquiry Form
    • Initial Session Form
    • Telemental Health Consent Form
  • Services
    • Individual Counseling
    • Couples Counseling
    • Family Counseling
    • Counseling Kids
    • Counseling with Teens
    • Speaking Engagements
  • Team
    • Harold Gibson, Student Therapist
    • Lindsay Perry, Resident Therapist, Loop
    • Stephanie Jordan, Resident Therapist, Loop
    • Chantail Green, Resident Therapist
    • Dormetra Henry, Resident Therapist
    • Manet Castañeda,Resident Therapist
    • Dr. Amy Fuller, Clinical Director
  • Resources
    • Houston Sliding-Scale Therapy Agencies
    • Mental Health Resources
      • Depression
      • Anxiety
    • Local Houston Resources
      • Helpful Books
      • Personal Bill of Rights
    • Healing Practices
      • Benefits of Self-Compassion
      • Self-Care Practices
      • Self-Compassion
  • Blog
    • Blog Grid
    • Resilient Relationships
    • Befriending Anxiety
    • Dancing Through Depression
    • Growing Kids and Teens
    • Healing Practices
    • Healing Trauma and Loss
    • Living Free from Addiction
    • Managing Anger and Stress
    • Sex Therapy
    • Navigating Separation, Divorce and Blended Families
    • Mindful Eating
    • Practicing Faith
  • New Year New You Challenge
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