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Archive for Marriage therapy

Getting Together 5: Communicating as Equals

Posted by Scott Rampy on
 December 5, 2012
  · No Comments

Getting Together, Part 5 – Communicating as Equals

Couples often struggle with communication. The inability to communicate leads to all sorts of misunderstandings, failures to resolve problems, and cycles that build up to create significant dissatisfaction with the relationship. Fisher and Brown, of the Harvard Negotiation Project, present some fundamental elements of communicating and problem solving in their book Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate. This book is the sequel to the bestseller Getting to Yes. Although not writing from a therapy background, their work on communication is consistent with what we share with our clients at Fuller Life. This post is the fifth in our series on Getting Together.

The first post introduced six elements of a good working relationship. The overriding theme in each element is: “Do only those things that are both good for the relationship and good for us, whether or not they reciprocate” (38). These six elements are based on a commitment to be unconditionally constructive. Now we will look a bit closer at the final two ingredients.

5. Persuasion, Not Coercion: Negotiate Side by Side

Fisher and Brown introduce this section with Aesop’s fable of the wind and the sun. The sun challenged the wind to a contest to see which could get a man to take off his coat. The wind tried to blow the man’s coat off with a strong gust of wind – but the man only drew his coat tighter. The sun beamed down warmly. As the man grew warm himself, he removed his coat and enjoyed the sunshine.

A common tendency is to try to force our way into winning an argument. The way we negotiate can seriously damage a relationship. When we use coercive tactics, emotions get heightened and reason gets diminished. It often becomes impossible to come to mutual understanding. We tend to find the other person less trustworthy and may feel that our values and desires have been rejected or ignored. Instead of attacking the problem together, side by side, coercion attacks the person. We commit early to our own viewpoint rather than staying open to the other’s perspective. When one person has to win, the other ultimately loses. Exploring the interests of each person is a good way of opening up options for compromise. To do this we have to get out of either/or mode and look for multiple workable options.

6. Acceptance: Deal seriously with those with whom we differ

We may fall into the trap of rejecting rather than accepting the other as an equally valid part of the problem-solving effort. We reject the other physically by leaving the room, slamming a door, or hanging up the phone. We can reject another psychologically by blaming, belittling, or rejecting the other’s viewpoint as worthy. These errors make it much more difficult to communicate effectively, understand each other’s view, foster trust, or persuade.

Instead, Fisher and Brown suggest that we accept unconditionally. We may not accept the other’s values, perceptions, or conduct, but we treat the other person with respect. They feel that they are being treated as an equal. We behave as though we genuinely care about the other person, above and beyond the conflict and our opinion.

Putting all of these communication principles into practice is much easier said than done. We often have some unlearning to do. It takes practice to break out of cycles of negative interaction. If your relationship (or a friend’s) could benefit from relearning how to communicate through conflict in a way that enhances the relationship, we at Fuller Life are happy to walk through that process with you. The form on the front page of the site is a great way to get in touch with us.

Fisher, Roger, and Scott Brown. Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate. New York: Penguin Books, 1988.

Scott Rampy, M.MFT, LMFTA

Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute

 

Categories : Blended Families, Communication, Counseling, Couples, Divorce, Emotional Intelligence, Emotions and Relationships, Empathy, Family Therapy, Intimacy & Sex Therapy, Marriage, Parenting, Premarital, Relationships, Social Skills
Tags : acceptance, anger, Communication, compassion, counseling for couples, couples, Empathy, love, Marital Satisfaction, marriage, Marriage therapy, relationships

Reliability, Trust, and Forgiveness

Posted by Scott Rampy on
 November 20, 2012
  · No Comments

Part 4 – Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate

Couples often struggle with communication. The inability to communicate leads to all sorts of misunderstandings, failures to resolve problems and cycles that build up to create significant dissatisfaction with the relationship. Fisher and Brown, of the Harvard Negotiation Project present some fundamental elements of communicating and problem solving in their book Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate. This book is the sequel to the bestseller Getting to Yes. Although not writing from a therapy background, their work on communication is consistent with what we share with our clients at Fuller Life. This post is the fourth in our series on Getting Together.

The first post introduced six elements of a good working relationship. The overriding theme in each element is: “Do only those things that are both good for the relationship and good for us, whether or not they reciprocate” (38). These six elements are based on a commitment to be unconditionally constructive. Now we will look a bit closer at the fourth of the six.

Reliability: Be wholly trustworthy, but not wholly trusting.

In every relationship, trust and suspicion exist on a continuum. Reliability is a determining factor regarding where our relationship is on a continuum. If there is already an established history of following through with one’s commitments, each partner can feel more secure and confident about further commitments. Moreover, we all make mistakes. A history of reliability can offer an opportunity to be more understanding and gracious when either partner makes a mistake.

“A practical goal for a working relationship, and one that each partner can pursue unconditionally, is thus:

  1. a high degree of reliability in the behavior of each, and
  2. an accurate assessment by each of the risks of relying on the other.”

Dealing with our own reliability

Our relationship partner may have good reason to mistrust us if our behavior is inconsistent, our communication is careless, we take our promises lightly, and our behavior is deceptive or dishonest. We can only control our own behavior so the burden of improving trust starts with us. Improving our behavior is the first place to start (re)building trust. Predictability, clarity, taking promises seriously, and honesty are all within our power and control.

Dealing with our partner’s reliability

Notice that even as we shift attention to our partner’s reliability, the focus continues to stay on our own conduct. Fisher and Brown ask, “Do we encourage their unreliable conduct? Do we overload trust? Do we trust too little? Do we criticize no matter what they do?”

We can help our partner be more reliable as we take steps to reduce risk rather than overload trust. We can begin to trust according to what is deserved, be precise in our praise and criticism, and view breakdowns as joint problems. In our assessment of our partner’s conduct, we need be self-critical. Are we evaluating them wrongly? Misperceiving their behavior? Confusing different kinds of unpredictability?

Often when couples discuss possible solutions to failures in trust the word “forgiveness” comes up. Though Fisher and Brown do not address the topic, based on the above, forgiveness does not mean, “I forgive you, so now everything can go back to the way it was before.” Perhaps forgiveness means acknowledging what has happened, the hurt it has caused, and then freeing the other person from ill will and continued indebtedness. It does not mean setting up the other person to commit the same wrong over and over again. Forgiveness is properly rooted in the perspective “Love unconditionally; trust conditionally.”

If there is a deficit of trust and reliability in your relationship that is preventing you from experiencing the quality relationship you desire, we want to walk alongside the process of rebuilding. If you have been hurt in the past and struggle with how to move forward, please know that Fuller Life Family Therapy is available and a safe place to work together.

Fisher, Roger, and Scott Brown. Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate. New York: Penguin Books, 1988.

Scott Rampy, M.MFT, LMFTA

Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute

Categories : Communication, Counseling, Couples, Emotions and Relationships, Empathy, Intimacy & Sex Therapy, Marriage, Relationships
Tags : Communication, counseling for couples, couples, Empathy, marriage, Marriage therapy, relationships

Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate, Part 1

Posted by Scott Rampy on
 August 30, 2012
  · 1 Comment

When presenting for therapy, one of the most common items couples struggle with is communication. The inability to communicate leads to all sorts of misunderstandings, failures to resolve problems and cycles that build up to create significant dissatisfaction with the relationship. Fisher and Brown, of the Harvard Negotiation Project present some fundamental elements of communicating and problem solving in their book Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate. This book is the sequel to the bestseller Getting to Yes. Although not writing from a therapy background, their work on communication is consistent with what we share with our clients at Fuller Life. Over the next few posts I will try to summarize the contents of their very helpful work.

Part 1 presents an overview of their strategy, including the six basic elements of a good working relationship. In order to get the relationship we want, the relationship must have what it needs – the ability to overcome differences. The ability to deal with differences depends on (1) a balance of emotion and reason, (2) understanding, (3) good communication, (4) reliability, (5) persuasion, not coercion, and (6) mutual acceptance.

A first step in developing this ability is to become aware of the difference between “process” and “substance.” For example, substance is similar to a class one might take in school (geometry, world history, etc.). Process is the method used in teaching the class (lecture, discussion, group projects, etc.). The authors suggest that people have a tendency to focus on what they want (substance) and not on how to get it (process). In relationships, a couple that encounters a difference in choosing a restaurant might tend to focus on their own goal (one wants Tex-Mex and the other wants BBQ) and neglect the process of resolving the difference (yelling, arguing, threatening, etc.). When conflict arises, prioritizing substantive goals (getting what I want) over process (the way we overcome conflict) is a shortsighted strategy that damages the relationship.

The strategy Fisher and Brown promote is based on a commitment to be unconditionally constructive. “Do only those things that are both good for the relationship and good for us, whether or not they reciprocate” (38). Regardless of what the other person does or does not do, a good relationship partner needs to make a commitment to be unconditionally constructive.

Look for our upcoming posts on the six basic elements of a good working relationship!

It is our desire at Fuller Life Family Therapy to walk alongside couples as they navigate through relationship misunderstandings and miscommunications. Please contact us if you would like information about our pre-marital and couple’s counseling. If you like this article, please like us on Facebook and pass it on to other couples!

Fisher, Roger, and Scott Brown. Getting Together: Building Relationships as We Negotiate. New York: Penguin Books, 1988.

Scott Rampy, M.MFT, LMFTA

Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute

Categories : Communication, Couples, Marriage, Relationships
Tags : counseling, counseling for couples, couples, Marital Satisfaction, marriage, Marriage therapy, relationships

Rituals Create Stability in Romantic Relationships

Posted by JenniferChristian on
 August 21, 2012
  · 3 Comments

Couples establish stability in their relationship when they create meaningful rituals in their daily lives. These moments are especially important as partners enter and exit throughout one another’s day. A hug and kiss goodbye, a secret wave, or loving words can create a sense of stability.

Many mothers naturally meet this attachment need with their small children. When a mother is leaving, she may hug her child and assure the child gently that she will return. The strength of the attachment bond is increased when a mother and child have predictable rituals such as a hug and gentle word. “Rituals have two distinguishing characteristics: routine behavior and the associated meaning for that behavior.” (Pearson, Child, & Carmon, 2010) The child feels stable for a time without the mother because their ritual created a cue for the child to know what to expect. As a result, the child feels more stable during periods of separation.

It turns out that individuals do not outgrow this need for a stable attachment when they transition from childhood into an adult romantic relationship. Physiological studies show that romantic couples affect one another biologically. A couple grows more and more connected symbiotically. Diamond, Hicks, and Otter-Henderson “investigated potential physiological changes associated with separation, focusing specifically on activity of the hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenocortical (HPA) axis … HPA activity provides a potential window into disruptions in day-to-day affect regulation brought about by the loss of regular proximity to one’s attachment figure.” (Diamond, Hicks and Otter-Henderson, 2008)

As humans beings, we need each other. We need to be assured that our partner is there even when we are apart. Rituals create a special shared sense of meaning that allows partners to feel more stable during periods of separation. “Rituals aid in the creation of a unique culture of two, which allows for the possibility of generating positive individualized patterns of interactions and strong, enduring relational bonds.” (Pearson, Child, & Carmon, 2010) These moments help to separate the relationship as unique from other connections with various people throughout the day. It creates a distinct sense of “we.”

Take some time as a couple to set up some rituals that create stability in your relationship. Here are a few possibilities to get started:

  • Say “I love you” as often as possible.
  • Kiss and hug one another when departing and coming back together during the day.
  • Create an affectionate name for one another.
  • Create a hand signal that is a secret shared just between the two of you.
  • Text a loving message during the lunch hour.
  • Set aside alone time at the end of the day to hear one another’s concerns and joys.

Fuller Life Family Therapy is committed to helping couples create stronger bonds in their relationships. If you liked this article, please share it with others or like us on Facebook.

Diamond, L., Hicks, A. & Otter-Henderson, K. (2008). Every Time You Go Away: Changes in Affect, Behavior, and Physiology Associated With Travel-Related Separations From Romantic Partners. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. (Vol. 95, No. 2, 385–403).

Pearson, J., Child, J., & Carmon, A. (2010). Rituals in Committed Romantic Relationships: The Creation and Validation of an Instrument. Communication Studies. (Vol. 61, No. 4, September – October, pp. 464-483).

Contributed by:

Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC

Categories : Couples, Marriage, Relationships
Tags : counseling for couples, couples, marriage, Marriage therapy, relationships

Lean On Me, It’s Good for Your Health

Posted by JenniferChristian on
 July 10, 2012
  · 1 Comment

The brains of earliest cave dwellers were hyper-wired to detect wild animals, snakes and spiders before their eyes or ears even had a sign of danger. Their brains knew that the best chance of survival was sticking together. They attached to significant others in the group and protected one another from harm. The most dangerous position was to be separated from the safety of loved ones.

Now, thousands of years later, our brains have not changed that much. They are wired to connect and attach. Current neurological research has found that we not only become attached emotionally, we actually become attached physiologically. A recent study by Dr. James Coan, Richard Davidson and Hillary Schaefer, using MRI technology found that “when two people form an intimate relationship, they regulate each other’s psychological and emotional well-being. Their physical proximity and availability influence the stress response.” (Levine and Heller, 2010)

The book, Attached, discusses how our bodies/brains crave a secure attachment in order to take creative risks and have a sense of flexibility. For example, for those who are married, creating a secure connection with our spouse can be liberating. “If we feel secure … the world is at our feet. We can take risks, be creative, and pursue our dreams. And if we lack that sense of security? If we are unsure whether the person closest to us, our romantic partner, truly believes in us and supports us and will be there for us in times of need, we’ll find it much harder to maintain focus and engage in life. When our partners are thoroughly dependable and make us feel safe, we can turn our attention to all other aspects of life that make our existence meaningful.” (Levine and Heller, 2010)

We are wired to need each other. But, the “common sense” of our society is often at odds with our biological needs. We are told that we need to be able to take care of ourselves, that it is weak to need others. Do not become too attached. Do not be a burden.

But our brains tell us otherwise. We are not buying it, and such advice is bad for our health.

Striving to develop a secure bond in marriage creates an atmosphere of safety and stability. This takes work and time, but is well worth the effort, and may ultimately improve one’s well-being.

Tools

  • Invest in time with one another. Work, kids, responsibilities and obligations can begin to take a toll on an intimate relationship. Block out time on your calendar as non-negotiable to spend together. This is very difficult for those with small children, but no less important.
  • Think about what you need and learn to communicate those needs assertively to one another.
  • Practice listening to one another. Learn to listen in a way that your partner feels heard. “What I hear you saying is … is that close?

Fuller Life Family Therapy is a place where couples can explore new ways of relating. We would like to work alongside in order to create connection and attachment in your marriage relationship.

Levine, Amir and Heller, Rachel. (2010). Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find-and Keep-Love.

Contributed by:

Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC

Categories : Counseling, Couples, Marriage, Relationships, Sticky
Tags : counseling, counseling for couples, couples, Marriage therapy, relationships

Time Out: Working Through Anger in Relationships

Posted by JenniferChristian on
 June 13, 2012

Times of anger and frustration are inevitable in every relationship, especially when we care deeply for another person. Anger is a natural response when we feel threatened or have unmet expectations. Our brains are wired beautifully to spot danger a mile away and react instantaneously in order to protect and preserve.  Think caveman. If a tiger appears suddenly, adrenaline surges, and in milliseconds the body responds to spear the tiger, jump up a tree, or freeze behind a rock.

Unfortunately, this instantaneous response can create problems in relationships. We desire closeness, but when our needs feel unmet, we sense danger, the danger of disconnection. Our body reacts, adrenaline surges, and suddenly we find ourselves on the attack. When we are in a state of anger it is difficult to think clearly and feel at the same time. We end up hurting the other person and damaging the relationship. After things settle, we often feel regret for our actions.

Awareness is key.  Talk to your partner about creating strategies for more successful outcomes in the future.

1. Notice bodily sensations that accompany anger, some of which include:

  • heart racing and pounding
  • tense muscles
  • shaking
  • clenching fists or teeth
  • breathing quickly
  • physical urge to move toward whatever is making us angry

When these sensations are present, the “danger response” is in full swing. It is difficult, even impossible, to think, and we are in react mode.

2. Time Out! It is important to let your partner know what you are thinking: “I care about you and our relationship. I need a time out to cool down, but I promise to come back and work on this issue in _________ minutes.” At least twenty minutes is needed to cool down, sometimes more. Several “cool down” periods may be necessary if anger continues to flare. Negotiate the time that is best for both you and your partner to re-engage. It is important that your partner does not think that you are running away or avoiding the topic. The key features of a time out are:

  • I care about you and our relationship.
  • I am angry and may say or do something I do not mean.
  • I promise to come back and work this out.

3. Breathe. Take a walk. Find someplace quite and focus on slowing your breath. Take time to remember how much you cherish your partner. This is important, and you can meet this challenge.

4. Come back and try again. Practice, practice, practice. We value our partners when we practice time-outs during times of anger.

Rules for Fair Fighting:

  • No cursing
  • No name calling
  • Focus on one issue at a time.
  • No use of force
  • No throwing
  • Listen and hear. Do not interrupt.
  • Brainstorm solutions
  • Set time limit for discussion. No more than thirty minutes.

Fuller Life Family Therapy is a place where you can explore new ways of relating in relationships if anger is a struggle. We can be a place where you learn new ways of dealing with anger and practice these skills. We can work together to create more connection and acceptance in your daily life.

Contributed by:

Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC

Categories : Anger Management, Communication, Counseling, Couples, Relationships, Sticky
Tags : anger, counseling for couples, couples, Marriage therapy, relationships

Intimacy – One Step at a Time

Posted by Scott Rampy on
 May 24, 2012
  · No Comments

Most people instinctively know that on a first date, you don’t spill all of your guts immediately. Picture the guy or gal who divulges all their wildest dreams, darkest secrets, best successes, and worst failures all before the appetizer! Too much, too fast! No, intimacy occurs through an instinctive process of knowing what to share and when to share it. Intimacy might be defined as fully knowing another and being fully known by them as well.

Hopefully you’ve never experienced the first type of date. You’re probably more familiar with the type of first date that proceeds a little more like this. You meet your date and are pleasantly greeted. You exchange small talk. Before long you find a common interest. Perhaps you divulge a future plan or far off dream. For a brief moment you wonder, “What will they say?” Hopefully your date responds with encouragement, admiration, or some other form of affirmation. The first date may not go much deeper than that. But in this first interaction, a process toward intimacy occurred. You risked a little by sharing about yourself. If it was accepted, you risked a little more. You went a little deeper. If they responded neutrally or negatively, or just focused on themselves, you probably picked up on a cue that this was not a person you could safely share your very core self with someday.

Sex in its best form is often connected with intimacy for reasons similar to what has been described. You’ve found someone that it is safe to, literally, bare all with. They do so in return. It is a mutual baring, seeing, accepting and celebrating of a person as they truly are.

This process of intimacy is not just related to romantic relationships however. It applies to parent/child relationships and friendships as well. Is your teen reluctant to share about themselves with you, the parent? Is your spouse stand-offish with you? It could be that they perceive that is the deepest level it feels safe to divulge. Ease off the pressure for immediacy. Accept what they do currently offer. The more the other feels unconditionally accepted, the more likely it is that they will risk sharing more. You cannot control what another does, but you can control how you respond. One step at a time.

Scott Rampy, M.MFT, LMFTA

Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute

Categories : Counseling, Couples, Intimacy & Sex Therapy, Marriage, Relationships
Tags : counseling, counseling for couples, couples, marriage, Marriage therapy, relationships

Writing A Love Story: Did I Marry the Right “One?”

Posted by Amy Fuller PhD on
 May 2, 2012
  · No Comments

“Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.” George Bernard Shaw

Ever wonder if you married the right One? Often when people feel dissatisfied with the current state of their marriage, they begin to doubt, and then wonder if they married the right “one.” The seeds of self-doubt then lead to greater disengagement from the relationship altogether, and sometimes a spiral downward for the relationship as a whole.

In fact, disillusionment is a common state of marriage, usually followed by misery, and hopefully, eventual rediscovery. The crucial point is how couples respond to this level of dissatisfaction. Some ignore it hoping things will improve. Some shout at their spouse with irrepressible anger. Some cry in their closet, feeling trapped and hopeless. Some seek love elsewhere. Finding the courage to address the disappointment, hurt, or frustration is not always easy. Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better.

We seldom stop to wonder if we “got” the right child. Instead we seek to shape our children. Similarly, we shape our relationships by what we put into them.

The truth is, you are the author of your love story. Sure, your spouse has his or her own version, but what you think and do matters. Having found love at one point does not guarantee the presence of love 10 or 20 years down the road. You have to keep recreating love by the thoughts, feelings, and actions you choose to pen into the romance novel of your relationship.

Not all love stories have happy endings. However, if you are still in the relationship you always have the opportunity to twist the storyline with new thoughts, actions, or feelings. Even the smallest change can make a difference and lead to bigger change. Perception works the same way. A simple shift in how you see things can turn frustration into gratitude, or turn hurt into hope.

How do you create a love that will grow your relationship into the one you desire? It may mean learning to forgive, or being more open with your thoughts and feelings. It may mean deciding to show a little more kindness. Giving grace or undeserved kindness is always a nice way to create new love in the relationship. It could be that you need professional help to heal old wounds that keep getting infected.

Marriage is actually less of a romance novel and more of a ongoing mystery adventure as two very different people spend a lifetime discovering new ways to love each other. Simple curiosity can turn doubt into deeper relationship and intimacy. It is never too late to uncover the mysteries of the “one” in your life. One could dig years and years and never reach the bottom of the well of vast mystery in another person’s being, thoughts, and soul.

If you are still married, the “one” you married is still the “one,” as long as you choose to create and share your story with each other. May your adventure be grand!

DR. AMY FULLER, LMFT, LPC

Clinical Director at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute

Categories : Counseling, Couples, Intimacy & Sex Therapy, Marriage
Tags : couples, love, marriage, Marriage therapy

Seven Reasons to Get Help For Your Marriage before it’s too late

Posted by Amy Fuller PhD on
 March 26, 2012
  · 1 Comment

If you have real concerns about the health of your marriage, here are 7 reasons to begin Marriage therapy NOW!

1. If you haven’t been able to improve the relationship on your own, it’s time to try something different. 

Some people describe insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. If you’ve tried to change your relationship in many different ways, but keep getting stuck in the same mess, then it’s time to reach out for help from a professional Marriage Therapist. Relationship counseling works best with both people involved, but even individual therapy can change the nature of a relationship.

2. If your relationship needs professional help, now is better than later. 

So often couples present for marriage therapy about five years too late. Then the call to a marriage professional is the direct result of one person dropping the “D” word or there’s been an affair. Just like a garden that is not tended will grow out of control or die, a relationship that is not nurtured and cared for properly will most likely deteriorate. Marriages do not take care of themselves. If they are taken for granted or ignored, weeds grow and hurt abounds. Seek help before the weeds take over your relationship garden.

3. You always call a doctor before beginning a new exercise regimen. 

Growing and maintaining a healthy relationship is like staying healthy physically. If you want to have a healthy body, then directed and purposeful effort is required to get into and stay in shape physically. Relationships are the same. They must be nurtured, fed and maintained in order to grow. If your marriage is out of shape, seek a marriage expert to help you bring it back to health. Hoping things will get better is not the same as improving them.

4. Take advantage of the current crisis to achieve the change you desire. 

Going to therapy is an excellent way to transform a current struggle into a new and better relationship. You may have heard that sometimes you take two steps back and one step forward. However, a new step in the right direction can change the dance altogether and for the long run. Once the crisis has passed, couples are less likely to take the brave plunge into counseling, even though the underlying issues are most often not resolved.

5. Ignoring problems does not make them go away. 

Sometimes people fear being open about negative feelings will cause irreparable damage to the relationship. But how does hiding true feelings about valid concerns help the marriage? There’s a chance these hurts will resolve in time, but at what cost? When it comes to close relationships, open closeness always feels better in the long run. With love, healing is always possible!

6. It’s easier to ride a tricycle than a bicycle. 

Tough negative feelings can sometimes add instability to an already strained relationship. A two-wheeled bicycle is not stable if one hasn’t learned how to ride well. Adding a marriage professional to the experience provides a stable third wheel so the couple can learn to navigate difficult issues without too much bruising.

7. Therapy is cheaper than divorce! 

If you talk to anyone who’s been through a divorce the cost is much greater than the decree’s bottom line. Ending what was hoped to last a lifetime hurts on so many levels. If something in you says your relationship may not last, please do yourself (and your family) a favor and seek help from a marriage and family therapist today!

DR. AMY FULLER, LMFT, LPC

Clinical Director at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute

Categories : Counseling, Couples, Marriage, Relationships
Tags : counseling for couples, Marriage therapy, relationships
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