This month, Fuller Life connected with first year pre-med students at Prairie View A&M University to discuss how to avoid burn out by working hard while staying true to one’s values.
Why A Growth Mindset Matters
Many high achieving students find it is easy to coast through school on talents alone. However, many experience burn out when their mindset and focus become fixed on maintaining labels like “smart” or “talented.” Dr. Carol Dweck identified the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. When one chooses to hold a fixed mindset, they give up easily, strive for success over growth, avoid failures, and ignore useful negative feedback. This is in stark contrast to a growth mindset. In her book Mindset, Dr. Dweck explained that “…people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment.”
How Values Affect Growth
Additionally, students were encouraged to consider the importance of remaining true to what they value. If a growth mindset is the fuel that keeps a car going; then, staying authentic is the compass that points towards the destination. Values motivate us and living authentically to our values can lead to a fuller life. When we do not uphold the values we believe in, it can lead to lack of integrity, feeling confused about who we are, and a tendency to allow others to direct our lives. Taking time to identify the values that are most important to you can reinforce a growth mindset and help prevent burn out!
Avoiding Burn Out with Fuller Life and Prairie View A&M University
References
Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. New York: Robinson.
Leiter, M. P., Frank, E., & Matheson, T. (2009). Values, Demands, and Burnout: Perspectives From National Survey of Canadian Physicians. PsycEXTRA Dataset. doi: 10.1037/e604522009-001
Everyone reaches a point when moving forward seems impossible. You feel you’ve given your best in your marriage, with your family and in your friendships. You’re are working harder and harder but none of your hard work seems to be paying off. You seem to fail repeatedly. What happens after you’ve tried and failed again and again?
Often, we feel hopeless.
In the 1960’s, researchers studied the learning process by conducting experiments measuring in response to rewards or punishments. This form of learning was called classical conditioning. Originally It was researched by physiologist Ivan Pavlov in his pioneering study who taught dogs to salivate at the ringing of a bell. The work of the 1960’s expanded upon the classical conditioning learning approach by investigating the role of motivation.
Dr. Martin Seligman, known as the father of Positive Psychology, and his colleagues conducted a similar experiment with dogs testing motivation. The dogs would hear a bell followed a light shock administered to the dog. In time, the dogs learned to respond to the shock when the bell sounded. Seligman and his fellow researches did not expect what happened next.
All the dogs were then placed in large crates with a low fence in between. One side of the fence had an electrified floor. Researches gave a light shock when the dogs were on the electrified side but to their surprise, the dogs did not jump to the non-shocking side of the fence. Instead, they laid down. The dogs learned from the first part of the experiment that they were powerless to avoid the shocks. A new set of dogs that had not experienced the shock jumped right over the fence.
This condition was described as “learned helplessness.” This is a state where someone does not attempt to escape a negative situation because the past traumas or persistent failure has taught them powerlessness.
In any situation where they have repeatedly tried and failed, people can develop learned helplessness.
But it can be unlearned.
Dr. Seligman wrote an article on how to become resilient. He offered these suggestions:
1. Increase mental toughness
Notice and dispute unrealistic beliefs. Often, our thoughts about the consequences or outcome have a greater impact than the consequences or outcomes themselves.
Dr. Seligman incorporates the ABCD model to explain:
C=emotional (C)onsequences (“I’m unloveable”) stem not directly from A = (A)dversity (Ex: crisis in relationship) but from B=one’s (B)eliefs about adversity (Ex:“’This is the end of the world for me”). The trick here is to (D)ispute unrealistic beliefs about adversity. (Ex: Is it really the end of the world?).
This ABCD approach was modeled from Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy Albert Ellis’ and is a way to create new possibilities by viewing setbacks in new ways.
2. Play to your strengths
Dr. Seligman oversaw the development of a test highlighting the core characteristics and best qualities of a person. Identify your strengths. Consider your top strengths and how each as allowed you to accomplish your previous goals. Take time to evaluate which strengths do not come as naturally to you and put effort into developing them. Write a narrative about how your strengths have served you in challenging situations.
3. Give yourself a real compliment.
Dr. Seligman said to be specific in your compliments. This idea comes from Carol Dweck, author of MindSet and next generation researcher of learned helplessness. Dweck believes most basic abilities can be developed through dedication, hard work and accurate praise. When you work hard, instead of telling yourself, “Good job. I’m awesome!” Be specific. Say, “Today I did a really good job at maintaining eye contact.” Or “I have been trying really hard the last few weeks to be attentive in my marriage by doing the dishes the way my wife likes.” “I have been training every day for a week even when I didn’t want to. I’m proud of myself for that.” When you’ve been working hard, reward yourself by stating it so it encourages you to continue in the future.
Resilience isn’t easy, but like any skill is learned. Take time to look at a situation differently, work your strengths as you move through it and acknowledge your hard work. Fuller Life helps people strengthen and motivate themselves towards long-term resilience.
Life is full of ups and downs, sunny days and stormy days, as well as strength and struggle. After a traumatic event or extended chronic crisis, we can experience burnout as our mental, emotional, and physical resources are worn down. Some people have a knack for bouncing back after facing adversity, while others fall apart.
What makes the difference?
Resilience. Siebert reports that, “highly resilient people are flexible, adapt to new circumstances quickly, and thrive in constant change. Most important, they expect to bounce back and feel confident that they will. They have a knack for creating good luck out of circumstances that many others see as bad luck.” (Siebert, 2005)
Resilience is commonly defined as the ability to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens. The good news is that anyone can add daily practices that will foster an ability to be resilient. We can add habits to our life that allow us to function and even eventually thrive after storms and struggle come our way.
One can explore all kinds of practices in an effort to build resilience. If these concept are new, try not to feel overwhelmed. Feel free to start small and build new habits over time. Below we have included four practices known to boost resilience: belief, acts of kindness, social support, and healthy habits.
Belief
One of the common traits of resilient people is that they believe they are resilient. When the human body reacts to stress (racing heart, sweat on brow, clammy hands, etc), it is actually doing a great job gearing up to meet an oncoming challenge. In other words, the body is designed to handle struggle. When we embrace our stress response as healthy, we boost our resilience. Kelly McGonigal’s TED talk addresses the power of our beliefs about stress, and our ability to recover and thrive after stressful events.
Kelly McGonigal: How To Make Stress Your Friend
Acts of Kindness
When we look for ways to treat others with kindness, we boost our resilience. Acts of kindness promote feelings of happiness and peace. The production of serotonin, a neurotransmitter that helps regulate mood and boosts feelings of well-being, is increased in the brain.
Our feelings of happiness and well-being also increase when we witness or receive kindness from others. Acts of kindness also create meaningful bonds with others, and reinforce positive emotions. When we receive kindness from others, we practice gratitude, another resilience boosting trait. Check out Oprah’s great list of ideas.
Social Support
Meaningful relationships with family and friends increase resilience. In Love Sense, Sue Johnson describes research as to how a close attachment bond with one’s spouse actually decreases one’s experience of pain. When we feel close emotionally with our partner, we are better able to handle painful experiences.
According to a recent article about the benefit of friendships in adulthood, “Our pain thresholds rise when we’re laughing with friends. Friendship helps ward off cognitive decline and having friends even strengthens the immune system.” Lissa Rankin adds that people with close social ties increase their lifespan by 2 ½ years, and experience lower rates of cancer. Close relationships with others help us know that we are not alone and give us the added boost we need to sustain us through difficult times.
Healthy Habits
Moderate exercise, balanced nutrition, and regular sleep habits also boost resilience. When we take care of our bodies, we build strength and stamina to weather potential storms. We are less fragile and less likely to slip into unhealthy coping patterns that can prove destructive to ourselves as well as those we care about. Exercises like yoga and walking also boost our mood, and are linked to reduced levels of depression and anxiety. Moreover, yoga is a common treatment for survivors of trauma.
Fuller Life’s Resilience Top Nine List
Over the past two years, Fuller Life has written extensively about resilient practices. Check out the links to these topics for more video footage and resources on gratitude, positive emotions, humor and play, healthy habits, and spiritual practices.
At Fuller Life we desire to journey alongside others in an effort to build resiliency and courageously move through struggles together. We share healing practices and continue sharing research that informs cultivating resilience.
