self care :: Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute

Archive for self care

Self-Care in the Time of Corona

June 22, 2020

Difficult Times

As our nation and world around us is surrounded by news of the COVID 19 epidemic, it can be very easy to neglect self-care due to the different struggles that can arise from this unique situation. It is not uncommon to experience feelings of anxiety, depression, loneliness, confusion, and even anger during this difficult time. Because of this, it is important to deal with these emotions in ways that are helpful and healing. Self- care is one way in which we can deal with difficult emotions and situations. Keep in mind that self-care is what we do (or stop doing) to take care of and improve our mental, physical and spiritual lives. Below are a few ways in which you can practice self-care during this particular situation that we are all facing as a community.

Practice Gratitude

Practicing gratitude has been found to have a positive impact on how our bodies and minds feel. When we practice gratitude, this stimulates oxytocin in our brains, and this helps relax the nervous system. There are two ways in which we can practice gratitude. The first is to practice gratitude for within, that is to say, being grateful for your life, body, breath, mind, strengths, etc. The second way we can practice gratitude is outwardly by being grateful for others, our pets, nature, resources, and other elements outside of us.

Seek Social Connections

During the quarantine, it can be difficult to maintain in touch with others, however it is still important to seek out those connections for support. Having a community or a tribe of people that you can count on can help reduce the feelings of loneliness and isolation. Some ways we can keep in touch during this time is via video phone calls, writing text messages, writing letters, or social media. With any relationship, it is important to be intentional about the type of communication you have, so find ways to be creative with your communication during the time of Corona.

Stay Active

Keeping an active lifestyle can keep improve your mood and boost your energy levels. During the quarantine it can be hard to find ways to exercise, so take some time to research various at home workouts that are available on the internet. Find ways to be creative with your workouts, try new forms of exercise that perhaps you have always been interested in. Make it a social activity by including your family members or roommates. Consider making a schedule that fits your daily activities so that you are more likely to stick with it.

Seek Help

Lastly, if you find yourself having a hard time with the isolation and the issues that have come up as a result of the quarantine, it is highly encouraged to seek professional help. Many organizations including our own (Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute) are offering telemental health services. If talking to someone about your struggles is something you are considering, now might be a good time.

Categories : Anxiety & Panic, Anxiety Issues, Covid-19, Depression, Gratitude, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Mindfulness Practice, Parenting, Relationships, Self-Care Practices, Stress Management

Tags : anxiety, depression, gratitude, physical well-being, self care

Fa-la-la-la-blah! Beating the Holiday Blues

Posted by 1-Stephanie Jordan on

December 17, 2019

· No Comments

The holiday season taunts itself as “the most wonderous time of the year,” but is it really? For some, the holidays are not always joyous and festive; rather, they are a challenging and emotional time of year for various reasons. An array of stressors, such as lack of time, financial worries, over-commercialization, and gift giving, along with the demands of parties, shopping, entertaining, and family get-togethers, may cause a wide range of emotions. These demands and stressors may produce feelings of sadness, depression, anxiety, loneliness, and grief during this time of year, commonly referred to as the “holiday blues.”

Below are a few questions for personal reflection with suggestions to help combat and balance the effects of “holiday blues.”

Gratitude or Grievance?

It depends on a person’s feelings and what they dread or welcome. On the one hand, feeling grateful, appreciating others, or showing kindness to one another seems easy and natural during this time of year. However, on the other hand, complaints, resentments, and gripes are also a real possibility. Consider these two questions:

What is one thing you are feeling in anticipation of the holiday?
What are you most/least looking forward to about this holiday?

Tip: One’s state of mind determines whether they feel gratitude or aggrieved. How a person makes meaning from what they anticipate will happen during the holiday season, whether positive or negative, can affect how they identify with and experience the holidays. Stay calm, gather your thoughts, and make a plan that will help minimize foreseeable challenges.

Dealing with disappointments

Alas, the best laid plans… Everyone has their own idea about what they want to happen during the holidays. Therefore, when things do not go as expected, misunderstandings and disappointment can result. Then what? Ponder this question:

What is one thing that you always hoped would happen but never does, and how are you going to handle it this year?

Tip: It is important to choose the right attitude and understand that, unfortunately, life is not perfect, and neither are the holidays. Try managing expectations to avoid feeling overly disappointed. Recognize mistakes are bound to happen, regardless of how well things are planned. Try not to expect people to change. Seek compromise whenever possible, find forgiveness, and simply let things be.

The true meaning of the holiday season

Over-commercialism tends to undermine the meaning of the holiday season. Year-after-year sensationalized Christmas TV commercials, along with Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales, can diminish the true spirit of Christmas. To keep perspective this Holiday season, reflect on this question:

This year I will remind myself the importance of ______.

Tip: Excessive commercialism can often spoil the true meaning of Christmas. Take time out to personally reflect on why Christmas is celebrated. Remember what is most important. Choose to hold on to these things during this holiday season.

While the holiday blues are a real phenomenon, remember these feelings are temporary. Take meaningful action to move through whatever emotions, attitude, and state-of-mind the season brings. Find ways to make Christmas a special day for the right reasons. Keeping context in perspective will help with finding gratitude and hope. Holding on to these things can help make the holiday’s the most wonderous time of the year.

Happy Holidays from the Fuller Life family!

Stephanie Jordan, LPC-Intern, Resident Therapist, Supervised by Amy Fuller PhD, LPC

Categories : Anxiety Issues, Emotions and Relationships, Family Therapy, Gratitude, Grief, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Self-Care Practices, Stress Management

Tags : Christmas, holiday blahs, holiday blues, holiday season, meaning of the Holiday, self care

Enjoy the foods you love AND be healthy: Mindful eating

Posted by 1-Lindsay Perry on

August 22, 2019

· No Comments

“Food, glorious food!” wrote Lionel Bart, lyricist of this song from Oliver!, the British musical based on the Charles Dickens’ novel, Oliver Twist. Mr. Bart knew what he was talking about.

Think of your favorite comfort food, snack, or sweet treat. What kinds of feelings arise when you think of your favorite dish? Are there feelings of comfort or safety? Maybe feelings of satisfaction or nostalgia? There are many emotions that present themselves when we eat. There may even be feelings of shame or defeat that can manifest as we eat the last chip from a newly-opened family-sized bag that we finished in one sitting.

What does all this mean? It means our emotions play an important role as we eat—whether we like it or not. From emotions of guilt when we cheated on our diet (again) to that first satisfying and indulgent bite of our favorite pasta or donut, we can pay attention to our emotions to better understand how we feel, think, and believe about what we eat. With this understanding of ourselves, we can start being mindful of what our body needs without sacrificing the foods we love.

What we’re told about what to eat

We’ve all heard it before. Carbs are bad for you. Sugar is bad for you. Wheat is bad for you. Grains are bad for you. Meat is bad for you. Processed foods are bad for you. Eggs are bad for you. Dairy is bad for you. Non-organic foods are bad for you. Too much fruit is bad for you. Certain vegetables are bad for you.

If all these things are true, what’s left to eat? If we believed that all the above were true, then to stay healthy, we all need to start on a diet of eating plain kale…but not too much, of course. How does it make sense for all these things to be bad for our health?

We see in the media how different research studies on the same topic draw entirely different conclusions. One day eggs are bad for you and increase cardiac disease, and the next day, eggs aren’t so bad for you because they contain a different type of cholesterol that isn’t bad for you.

If the science on food is so contradictory, why do we constantly make decisions to change what we eat based off them?

The body knows

This may come as a surprise, but the body actually knows which foods it needs and how much it needs. Babies know how much milk they need to feel content and stop eating when their hunger is satisfied. So, what happens to us that we lose this ability to know what we need and when we’ve had enough? We start learning to go against our body’s intuition in being told to finish our plate, told to only eat certain foods, or being shamed by parents or caregivers.

When a child is told to finish all their food because there are starving children in other countries, the shame the child experiences from their caregiver can push the decision to eat past the full point and ignore the body’s indicator of being satisfied. For this person, eating may now be associated with shame. So how does someone who’s been taught to ignore their body’s natural signals of hunger and being full start to recognize these signals again?

Mindful eating

Remember the above example of eating a family-sized bag of chips in one sitting?

Think about your favorite snack that you usually power through. Think of where you are as you are wolfing down this favorite snack. Now, consider if you took a bite every 15 seconds or so. Imagine how much slower you would eat. Then, notice what the texture of your snack is like. Is it light and crisp as you take a bite? Is it soft and chewy? Notice the flavor. Is it salty? Is it sweet? Is it salty, then sweet? As you’re continuing to take slow bites, bring awareness of where you usually feel hunger in your stomach. Notice how hunger pangs fade and fullness starts to set in.

This is mindful eating. Many of us eat in front of our tv, computer, smartphone, or even while driving. We shovel food into our mouths while binge-watching, playing a game, or working. Our minds aren’t on what we’re eating. Our minds are on our screens. We’re practicing mindless eating. Mindful eating challenges us to stop multi-tasking and solely focus on what we’re eating while noticing the entire experience of enjoying a meal or snack. This can be challenging, but a way to start is to practice slowing down when we eat.

Enjoy!

The main purpose of mindful eating is to bring us back to paying attention to our body, knowing what we need or don’t need. When we start to practice paying attention to our bodies and our experience of eating, we may not feel the need to power through that family size bag chips. Rather, we can take a handful out of the bag and practice eating them mindfully one by one. Another purpose of mindful eating is to enjoy what we eat and the experience of eating. If we take time to pay attention to eating an apple with curiosity and wonder, imagine the world of flavor that awaits! Food is glorious and meant to be enjoyed for its taste and for our health. Imagine the world that awaits when we stop listening to other people about what to eat and start listening to our own bodies. Bon Appetit!

For more in-depth information about mindful eating and food and health, please refer to the below resources:

Mindful Eating by Jan Chozen Bays

How to talk to your children about food in a healthy manner by Kristen Fuller

Contributed by:

Lindsay Perry, M.Ed, LPC Intern #79863

Clinical Supervision by Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S

Categories : Counseling, Lifestyle, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Awareness, Sticky

Tags : mindfulness, mindfulness practice, self care, self-awareness

How Often do you Care for Yourself?

Posted by Manet Castaneda on

January 31, 2019

· 1 Comment

Self-Care Sunday

The phrase self-care is becoming more and more popular. It is a phrase we hear all over social media or in conversations with friend, and it has even become its own hashtag, ex: #selfcaresunday on Instagram. However, sometimes it is used more as an excuse to self-indulge and less as a practice of *self-compassion. So, what does actual self-care look like?

From a therapeutic stand point, it looks like taking care of yourself in multiple ways. It can look like eating well, exercising, practicing mindfulness or even engaging in spiritual practices. It can involve making space to spend time with loved ones. In addition to taking care of your physical and emotional health, it is equally important to attend to the mental aspect of self-care.The mental aspect of self-care is an area of ourselves that we can often neglected if we are not being intentional. How often do you take time to sit with yourself to see where your mind is and what is going on? Do you find yourself constantly trying to keep busy or distracted so you don’t have to think? If this at all sounds familiar, then you may want to keep reading to find some ways you can take time to care about yourself on the inside.

What does your self-talk sound like?

It is important to make note of how your self-talk impacts your self-care. Consider the following, how kind are you being to yourself as you go about your daily routine? How easy or challenging is it for you to say compassionate things to yourself when you make mistakes? In the wise words for Ru Paul, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” Often times we do not want to take time to notice how damaging a lack of self-kindness can be to our mind. Consider the R.A.I.N. exercise which can be used as a way of exploring yourself and what you are feeling in a compassionate and non-judgmental way. Self-care is a choice that has to be made on a daily basis. In this life you will constantly face situations in which you will have to choose between being kind to yourself or negate yourself the opportunity to experience kindness in that moment.

How do you take care of yourself through adversity?

Part of life includes dealing with the consequences of our choices. We also cannot avoid life’s random accidents which can bring adversity. During these times, how do you deal with yourself and others? How do you respond? Do you engage in self-care or is that the first thing to go out of the window? In the Bible, the author of Colossians 3:12 invites the reader to consider clothing themselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, there is value in noting that the author is asking the audience to consider choosing to live in a compassionate way through all that life can bring.

Life is all about how we chose to face it. So reader, I challenge you to choose to respond to yourself with kindness and compassion on a daily basis, because you already know what the alternative is. If you find yourself at a place where you are already working on these issues, then I commend you for having the courage and strength to practice self-care. However, if you are at a place where you are uncertain about what steps to take, then perhaps consider visiting a counselor who can help you in your journey towards greater self-care.

* Self-Compassion: Recognizing your own pain, suffering or discomfort and then choosing to respond with kindness.

Other resources to consider:

Self-Care for the Real World

The Practice of Resilience

Create & Grow Healthy