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There’s nothing wrong with asking for a little (mental) help

Posted by Scott Rampy on

July 21, 2014

In our culture, when a person has the flu, they go to their doctor. When it is time for a teeth cleaning or when there is a toothache, one goes to their dentist. Many have a go-to mechanic for car trouble. When the refrigerator is empty, people go to their usual grocery store. For these common, anticipated problems people generally know where they will go to get them resolved and have confidence they will be successful. But to whom does one turn when faced with a mental health or relationship challenge?

It is much more uncommon for someone to have identified their mental health professional or relationship therapist. According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH):

18.6% of American adults experienced a mental illness in 2012, or 43.7 million people.
Approximately 16.5% of American adults will experience major depressive disorder in their lifetime;
28.8% will experience an anxiety disorder.

The reality is experiencing mental health difficulty is a common experience of life. Depression is sometimes referred to as being the common cold of mental health, yet for some reason many do not seek help.

Only 21.3% of those with major depressive disorder are receiving minimally adequate treatment;
the figure drops to only 14.3% for those dealing with an anxiety disorder.

Mental health aside, what parent has not lamented that children don’t come along with user’s manuals? Who in a committed relationship has not at times experienced real testing of that commitment? Despite common beliefs about what a marriage is “supposed” to be like, entering a period of disillusionment is a normal, to-be-expected phase of long-term relationships. But there is no need to suffer through these experiences alone. There is no shame in asking for a listening ear and a helping hand.

Here are a few action steps you can take today:

PREPARE for the possibility that you or a loved one may one day be in a position to benefit from reaching out to a mental health professional.

RESEARCH mental health professionals in your area.

MEET a mental health professional for a free consultation if available.

IDENTIFY a professional that you feel comfortable turning to if a need ever arises in the future.

ASK a friend or family member if they have ever experienced a mental health challenge or gone to therapy. Is there someone they might recommend?

SHARE with others a positive experience you have had seeking help for a mental health challenge – perhaps on Facebook or Twitter. Normalizing help-seeking may encourage someone to reach out for help in their own challenge.

REMOVE a mindset of shame. One does not have to be “crazy” to seek out mental health help.

DECIDE not to try to cope alone.

SCHEDULE an annual checkup for your relationship or psychological health.

Here are a few other articles offering tips on finding a mental health provider:

WebMD – “Tips for Finding a Counselor or Therapist”

Psychology Today – “How to Find the BEST Therapist for You”

Huffington Post – “Demystifying Therapy: 5 Insider Tips for Finding a Good Therapist”

Mayo Clinic – “Mental Health Providers: Tips on Finding One”

Note: Unfortunately, these articles do not mention Marriage and Family Therapists (LMFT = Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist) among the types of mental health providers. MFTs are most comparable to LPCs (Licensed Professional Counselors). The major difference is that they view issues within a systemic framework (e.g., how a family or couple copes with depression, substance abuse, etc. – not just the individual). They also tend to be more prepared to offer couples and family therapy for relationship problems. However, the license type does not determine the quality of therapy. In fact, many therapists hold both types of licensure. You can find quality treatment from both LPCs and LMFTs.

Scott Rampy, M.MFT, LMFT Associate

Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute

Categories : Mental Health, Sticky

Tags : counseling, mental health, mental health service providers, psychological help, seeking treatment, therapist, therapy

Writing a Happy Ending

Posted by Scott Rampy on

December 20, 2012

Co-authoring a new story together at Fuller Life

Once when working with a group of teens I had the pleasure of surprising them with the news that, despite all of the medical advances of the twentieth century, the mortality rate remains unchanged – 100%. They were stunned. Silly kids, right? But I find in my own life, while it is plainly obvious that everyone will face death, I do not often consciously consider that I myself will die someday – and it may not even be far away. It could be sudden or even from a seemingly trivial mishap.

Tolstoy’s character Ivan Ilych reflected along similar lines. He learned the lesson as a young boy “Caius is a man, men are mortal, therefore Caius is mortal.” The lesson “had always seemed to him correct as applied to Caius, but certainly not as applied to himself.”

With this awareness, the question “How then should I live?” naturally arises. How do you answer the question? Reflecting on your life, how do you measure whether it is a life being lived well? A common answer is “Carpe Diem!” Seize the day! But how should one seize it? How does one make the most of each ever-passing moment? Are some ways of seizing better than others?

Now I have my theories on what will lead to a full life and I would be happy to share if you would like to know, but in the therapy room it is more important to me that you come up with a workable solution for your own life. Usually when I meet my clients for the first time they have become aware on some level that life just is not going as desired. The things that they thought would make for a good life haven’t panned out. So we sort through it together. We get into the good, the bad, and the ugly. We identify assumptions and patterns and things we have been taught. Many find that going through a process like this with an impartial, nonjudgmental conversation partner brings clarity. Maybe you do not consider yourself someone who “needs therapy” but identify with what has been described above. If you think you could benefit from such a conversation partner, send us a note in the boxes on the right. There is still time to put a new ending on your life’s story.

Categories : Counseling, Couples, Divorce, Domestic Violence, Emotions and Relationships, Family Therapy, Grief, Infidelity, Mental Health, Relationships, Self-Care Practices, Self-Esteem

Tags : counseling, depression, grief, relationships, therapy

Create Balance: Living Well in the Midst of Anxiety

Posted by JenniferChristian on

May 16, 2012

We think anxiety is “bad” in our culture, and that it needs to be alleviated. We may think something is wrong with us if we experience anxiety. Fortunately, about a hundred years ago, two Harvard physicians found that anxiety served an important place in our ability to function well. (Yerkes & Dodson, 1908).

They found that performance is directly correlated to level of arousal. When we have little or no arousal, we are bored and perform poorly at complex tasks. On the other hand, when we are extremely stressed and overwhelmed, we find it difficult to function altogether. The optimal level of stress, anxiety, or arousal is somewhere in the middle of both extremes.

Take, for example, preparing for a test. If we feel unchallenged or bored, we may not feel motivated to study, and will likely put it off until the night before. If, on the other hand, we feel intense anxiety about the test, we may find it difficult to focus, and may even blank out while taking the test. The optimal approach is somewhere in the middle. This means that a moderate amount stress is actually beneficial to help us study and stay focused on the task. Or to put it simply: Balance.

For those who struggle with too much anxiety, here are some helpful tools that can bring down the level to a more desirable level. Remember, the goal is not to get rid of stress; some stress is helpful.

Call someone you trust. Anxiety diminishes when we share our struggles with another person who hears us with compassion.
Practice deep breathing: There are a number of deep breathing exercises on YouTube. A local Yoga class is also a good place to practice healthful breathing exercises.
Exercise is a natural relaxer, and large muscle movement stimulates and calms the brain.
Notice self-talk: When we are overly self-critical, we increase our level of stress and anxiety. Catch self-critical talk, and begin to respond internally with kindness and compassion.

If you feel overwhelmed and your anxiety level makes it difficult for you to focus, please contact Fuller Life Family Therapy so that we can work together to lessen your anxiety and create more balance in your daily life.

Yerkes, R. M. & Dodson, J. D. (1908). The Relation of Strength of Stimulus to Rapidity of Habit-Formation. Journal of Comparative Neurology and Psychology, 18, 459-482.

Contributed by:

Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC

Categories : Anxiety & Panic, Compassion, Counseling, Covid-19, Self-Care Practices, Sticky

Tags : anxiety, counseling, self-care, therapy

Collaboration in Counseling

Posted by Scott Rampy on

March 24, 2012

· No Comments

People are not machines. It seems quite obvious but the fact has quite a bit to do with our approach to therapy. When a car is broken, a mechanic figures out what is wrong, takes out the broken part and puts in a new one. When a body is sick, the doctor diagnoses the cause, say a bacterial infection, and prescribes the cure – in this case an antibiotic. Bodies and cars are quite complex – I sure can’t figure them out. I leave that to the trained professionals. But people systems function differently. They have the choice to accept or reject changes. People are not machines because of the freedom of choice.

So how do we who desire to facilitate healing in people systems deal with this complicating fact? We embrace it! At Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute, our therapists recognize that you, the client are the expert on your life, your relationships, your culture, and your experiences. Our counselors think that expertise is a tremendous asset in the therapy room. In the context of conversation, we therapists add into the mix our expertise as facilitators of change. This is to say, we take the stance of inquisitive learners as you share with us rather than of presumptive fixers who impose our own ideas on you, the client. In this manner of collaboration, of combining our unique strengths, we believe problems resolve.

Scott Rampy, M.MFT, LMFTA