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Archive for Transitions

When Caring Hurts: Preventing Caregiver Burnout

Posted by FullerLife on
 August 1, 2017
  · No Comments

You are dependable and loyal. You take family seriously and honor those around you who are unable to care for themselves. So you have found yourself in the position of caring for an elderly parent grandparent or chronically ill or disabled loved one who requires constant care. Sometimes it feels like it is just too much for one person to bear. You may feel that no one else is there to carry the burden but you. However, not reaching out for help can lead to harmful results. 

The Numbers Don’t Lie 

The United States is home to over 44 million unpaid caregivers. The numbers will continue to grow as the population of baby boomers continues to age. The prevalence of spectrum disorders, like autism, has increased in America by 30 percent in recent years. Many disorders can limit the ability of people to function independently. These situations may create a need for family members to step up when care facilities seem like an unwanted or unfeasible option. But what effect does the caregiving lifestyle have on the caregiver? 

Signs of Trouble 

Fatigue and sleep deprivation when caring for a loved one are common. Fatigue can make a caregiver more vulnerable to physical, emotional or mental illnesses themselves. This can be due to a combination of physical obligations of providing care around the clock to the worry and stress that can accompany the responsibility of maintaining someone else’s welfare. Oftentimes, caregivers are not only responsible for the elderly parent or disabled family relative. They are parents, husbands and wives as well, further adding to their load.  

You may notice that you, or the caregiver in your life, has become increasingly irritable, anxious or angry lately. A prolonged state of fatigue and stress puts caregivers at risk for diabetes, addictions, increased sensitivity to pain and infections. If you see signs of depression, such as feelings of hopelessness or helplessness, loss of interest in other activities, social withdrawal, find help. That is a clear sign that it is time for intervention.  

In difficult circumstances, some caretakers may appear disoriented, erratic and/or highly emotional. Let extreme changes in mood, behaviors or routine be a signal to you that something is wrong. 

Caring for the Caregiver 

If any of this sounds familiar, please take the necessary steps. As a caregiver, know that reaching out for help and taking care of yourself are just as important to your role as a caregiver as the caregiving itself. If you know someone who is responsible for a loved one’s wellbeing and is exhibiting signs of burnout, lend a helping hand. Here are some steps that you can take: 

  • Self-assess. Take a moment to do personal inventory. If your energy levels have been low and your patience thin, admit it to yourself. That is the only way to begin the process of improving your situation. 
  • Take a break. If you do not have to, don’t go it alone. Ask friends or family members to stay over a couple nights a week so that you can get a full night’s rest. See if they can watch your loved for a couple of hours during the day while you take some personal time. If there is no one available, take advantage of some of the caregiver resources (found below) that can assist you. 
  • Be mindful. Include a mindfulness, mediation or prayer practice in your day. This serves to increase your self-awareness and promotes relaxation while you are awake. Fifteen minutes can make a world of difference. 
  • Find support. As a caregiver, you might be too busy to know that there is help available to you, even if you feel like you are all alone. Please check out the following resources:  
    • AARP CareConnection
    • National Alliance for Caregiving

Want to see if you or someone you love is battling caregiver burnout, take this short quiz: 

https://www.caring.com/articles/caregiver-burnout-quiz 

 

Contributed by

Shani Bell, MAAT, LPC-Intern

Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S

 

Categories : Anxiety & Panic, Counseling, Covid-19, Depression, Emotions and Relationships, Mental Health, Self-Awareness, Self-Care Practices, Stress Management, transitions
Tags : anxiety & panic, counseling, depression, emotions and relationships, mental health, self-awareness, self-care practices, stress management, Transitions

Sticking Together through Transitions

Posted by Scott Rampy on
 November 21, 2013

canstockphoto1606279Family life is marked by transitional moments. Throughout life together a couple could celebrate their first date, engagement, wedding day, anniversaries, birthdays, birthdays of children, first days of school, first day of college, retirement, becoming grandparents, and more. These moments are photographed, videotaped, remembered and celebrated. Time is marked by before and after these transitional events.

Change can be stressful

Yet even for such happy moments each transition carries with it a certain amount of stress. Few couples escape the wedding planning process without some measure of conflict between each other or with in-laws or families. While the college freshman is embarking on a new exciting adventure, the house never feels the same for parents and younger siblings. Other transitions are even more difficult – a family member is sick, a breadwinner gets laid off, a marriage ends, or a loved one passes on. It is in transitional periods that families encounter the most difficulty. Transitions are both tests of strength and opportunities for growth.

Talk it out together when in transition

So how does a family successfully navigate transitional moments? Perhaps the most important ingredient is communication. This involves not only the act of speaking but, perhaps more importantly, the manner it is received and the response. A supportive atmosphere invites communication and is characterized by warmth, softness, non-judgmental responding and non-defensiveness. This means the goal is to hear and understand, rather than help or give advice.

Be positive on purpose

canstockphoto1606281Such an atmosphere does not often come naturally to a family. It needs to be cultivated during the times between transition. Renowned marriage researcher Dr. John Gottman refers to this atmosphere as either Positive Sentiment Override or Negative Sentiment Override. In other words, is the overall mood of the relationship more positive or more negative? This is changeable based on the ratio of positive interactions to negative interactions between family members.

Commit to communicate ahead of time

Transitional moments are made worse when going through them alone. Make a commitment to be a supportive listening partner to your family members and you will contribute to a supportive atmosphere for yourself as well. Between these moments, endeavor to build these skills in preparation for the challenges sure to come.

For more, view our other posts in the Communication category of our blog.

 

Scott Rampy, M.MFT, LMFT Associate

Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute

 

 

 

 

Categories : Communication, Couples, Divorce, Empathy, Grief, Parenting, Relationships, Sticky
Tags : Communication, death, divorce, family stress, graduation, grief, John Gottman, listening, Negative Sentiment Override, Positive Sentiment Override, Transitions
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Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute
  • Home
    • Our Story
    • Our Core Values
    • Partner with Us
    • Our Training
    • Donate
  • Info
    • Our Locations
    • New Client Forms
    • Therapy Fees
    • Information for New clients
    • Secure Inquiry Form
    • Initial Session Form
    • Telemental Health Consent Form
  • Services
    • Individual Counseling
    • Couples Counseling
    • Family Counseling
    • Counseling Kids
    • Counseling with Teens
    • Speaking Engagements
  • Team
    • Harold Gibson, Student Therapist
    • Lindsay Perry, Resident Therapist, Loop
    • Stephanie Jordan, Resident Therapist, Loop
    • Chantail Green, Resident Therapist
    • Dormetra Henry, Resident Therapist
    • Riya Roney, Resident Therapist
    • Dr. Amy Fuller, Clinical Director
  • Resources
    • Houston Sliding-Scale Therapy Agencies
    • Mental Health Resources
      • Depression
      • Anxiety
    • Local Houston Resources
      • Helpful Books
      • Personal Bill of Rights
    • Healing Practices
      • Benefits of Self-Compassion
      • Self-Care Practices
      • Self-Compassion
  • Blog
    • Blog Grid
    • Resilient Relationships
    • Befriending Anxiety
    • Dancing Through Depression
    • Growing Kids and Teens
    • Healing Practices
    • Healing Trauma and Loss
    • Living Free from Addiction
    • Managing Anger and Stress
    • Sex Therapy
    • Navigating Separation, Divorce and Blended Families
    • Mindful Eating
    • Practicing Faith
  • New Year New You Challenge
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