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Archive for anxiety

Self-Care in the Time of Corona

Posted by Manet Castaneda on
 June 22, 2020
  · No Comments

Difficult Times

As our nation and world around us is surrounded by news of the COVID 19 epidemic, it can be very easy to neglect self-care due to the different struggles that can arise from this unique situation. It is not uncommon to experience feelings of anxiety, depression, loneliness, confusion, and even anger during this difficult time. Because of this, it is important to deal with these emotions in ways that are helpful and healing. Self- care is one way in which we can deal with difficult emotions and situations. Keep in mind that self-care is what we do (or stop doing) to take care of and improve our mental, physical and spiritual lives. Below are a few ways in which you can practice self-care during this particular situation that we are all facing as a community.

Practice Gratitude

Practicing gratitude has been found to have a positive impact on how our bodies and minds feel. When we practice gratitude, this stimulates oxytocin in our brains, and this helps relax the nervous system. There are two ways in which we can practice gratitude. The first is to practice gratitude for within, that is to say, being grateful for your life, body, breath, mind, strengths, etc. The second way we can practice gratitude is outwardly by being grateful for others, our pets, nature, resources, and other elements outside of us.

Seek Social Connections

During the quarantine, it can be difficult to maintain in touch with others, however it is still important to seek out those connections for support. Having a community or a tribe of people that you can count on can help reduce the feelings of loneliness and isolation. Some ways we can keep in touch during this time is via video phone calls, writing text messages, writing letters, or social media. With any relationship, it is important to be intentional about the type of communication you have, so find ways to be creative with your communication during the time of Corona.

Stay Active

Keeping an active lifestyle can keep improve your mood and boost your energy levels. During the quarantine it can be hard to find ways to exercise, so take some time to research various at home workouts that are available on the internet. Find ways to be creative with your workouts, try new forms of exercise that perhaps you have always been interested in. Make it a social activity by including your family members or roommates. Consider making a schedule that fits your daily activities so that you are more likely to stick with it.

Seek Help

Lastly, if you find yourself having a hard time with the isolation and the issues that have come up as a result of the quarantine, it is highly encouraged to seek professional help. Many organizations including our own (Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute) are offering telemental health services. If talking to someone about your struggles is something you are considering, now might be a good time.

Categories : Anxiety & Panic, Anxiety Issues, Covid-19, Depression, Gratitude, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Mindfulness Practice, Parenting, Relationships, Self-Care Practices, Stress Management
Tags : anxiety, depression, gratitude, physical well-being, self care

When Grief and Spirituality Intersect

Posted by 1-Stephanie Jordan on
 March 30, 2020
  · No Comments

In light of the recent global novel Coronavirus pandemic that spread and claimed the lives of hundreds of thousands of people in local communities, cities, states, and countries around the world, many individuals are experiencing grief in the midst of this calamity. Some have lost loved ones due to the virus, are unable to have or attend funerals for the deceased loved one, are personally suffering from or know someone suffering from the virus, are dealing with the psychological and emotional effects of “social (physical) distancing,” and are worried about meeting the most basic needs for their family’s survival and livelihood. These concerns, among others, have caused many to experience some form of personal grief, or an existential crisis in spirituality.

Death itself, whether untimely or anticipated, sometimes leaves unanswered questions. Dr. Mark Kellenman, author of the book, “God’s Healing For Life’s Losses” examines the complexities of life’s unanswered questions; in the midst of death and in the midst of human suffering. His book offers readers a perspective on grief, spirituality, and hope through the Divine Redeemer. Although the book is specifically written for individuals of Christian faith, the concepts and perspectives shared may be applicable to other religious faiths as well. This blog will share grief perspectives from the book on how to move from depression to hope on one’s grief journey.

Traditional Perspectives on Processing Grief

Many people are familiar with the five stages of grief model first introduced by psychiatrist Elizabeth Kübler-Ross. She speculated that an individual experiences denial (stage one), anger (stage two), bargaining (stage three), and depression (stage four), before coming to acceptance (stage five). The model suggested that grief occurs in a sequential process until they reach the final stage.

Dr. Kelleman, however, viewed the five stages of grief model as too one-dimensional. Noting that individuals tend to deal with their grief in separation from others which leads to feelings of spiritual abandonment, social betrayal, and feelings of shame and self-contempt. Dr. Kelleman believes this causes spiritual depression.

Spirituality Perspectives on Processing Grief

Dr. Kellenman’s grief model, which he describes as God’s Positioning System (GPS), explains grief as a multi-dimensional process, where individuals respond to grief by integrating spirituality into their grief process. The model introduces eight stages. Four stages address hurt and four stages address hope.

Four Stages of Hurt Four Stages of Hope
Candor: Practice honesty with myself. Waiting: Groaning with Hope.
Complaint: Honesty with God. Wailing: Trusting with Faith.
Cry: Ask God for help. Weaving: Perceiving with Grace.
Comfort: Receive God’s help. Worshiping: Engaging with Love.

The eight stages describe how grievers can suffer a loss and come face-to-face with God. The traditional grief responses, introduced by Kübler Ross, are not to be minimized. Dr. Kellenman encourages grievers to learn how to move from denial to personal honesty, from anger to honesty with God, from bargaining to asking God for help, and from depression to receiving God’s help.

Moreover, the four stages of hope describe how grievers can take God’s hand and journey forward in life (acceptance) while facing the realities of their loss. Dr. Kelleman, calls this “creative suffering.” That is, creative suffering converts the suffering that batters and causes depression, into hope that, The Redeemer can bring healing to hurting hearts.

Journeying in Hope: An Alternative Perspective

Dr. Kelleman, explains the journey of grief can be emotional, complicated, and messy. It comes with hills and valleys and good days and bad days. It is normal to feel hurt and it is necessary to grieve. Remember that taking the journey with God places one’s trust and faith in His good character and his good heart that better days will come. Likewise, contemplating suffering from a grace perspective nurtures alternative ways to view life’s losses where hope can flourish, and spiritual growth can mature.

Reference:

Kellemen, R. W. (2010). God’s healing for life’s losses: How to find hope when you’re hurting.  Winona Lake, IN: BMH Books.

Categories : Anxiety Issues, Counseling, Covid-19, Depression, Depression, Bipolar, Mental Health, Spirituality, Trauma and Loss, Unemployment
Tags : anxiety, death, depression, grief, Grief Models, healing, loss, mental health, spirituality, trauma and loss

Unlocking the Signs and Secrets to the Baby Blues

Posted by 1-Elisa Squier on
 March 20, 2019
  · No Comments

A woman’s identity changes when she becomes a mother. She starts to become known as so-and-so’s mom. People want to see the baby, not her. Priorities shift as she considers the needs of this helpless human, who demands her time and attention. When all is well, she is happy and eager to pour out love and affection. But what happens when that happiness wanes? When everything feels like a chore or a burden? When helplessness or resentment take over?

“Baby Blues” vs Postpartum Depression

There comes a time in a mother’s life, especially a new mother, when she feels overwhelmed. Housework is mounting, sleep is lacking, hormones are temperamental. The good news is that these feelings and stresses are normal. About 80 percent of all new mothers’ experience feelings of helplessness or anxiety.  And yet these are experiences that are rarely talked about. These experiences can include thoughts and feelings that women feel ashamed of, but that are normal. When those negative feelings linger more than the first few weeks after giving birth, that may be a sign of something bigger.  This is called postpartum depression.

Many women experience some depressive symptoms within the first week of giving birth: crying, low motivation, feeling sad, high stress levels, exhaustion. These “baby blues” as some call them, affect nearly 4 in 5 women, but usually disappear after the first few weeks. This is a natural reaction to the influx of hormones, physical strain of birth, and overall change of having a baby in the home. When those feelings persist for weeks on end, that is a sign of something more serious: postpartum depression.

Postpartum depression (PPD) is a condition that affects up to 1 in 5 women who have given birth. It includes all the same feelings as regular depression, but they last longer or may be intensified. These include feelings of helplessness or worthlessness and can even lead to thoughts of harming yourself or your child. PPD can be debilitating or lead to feelings of being incapable as a mother, but it doesn’t last forever.

Tips for Dealing with Postpartum Depression

Breastfeed

If you can, breastfeed. New research has shown that breastfeeding has a strong connection with postpartum depression. Women who breastfeed tend to have a decreased risk for developing or sustaining postpartum depression. Not all women are physically able to breastfeed for a variety of reasons, and if you can’t, there’s no need to feel bad about it. But if you can, breastfeeding provides great benefits for both the mother and child.

Prioritize Sleep

Obviously, this can be hard with a newborn baby, but sleep has profound effects on how you feel on a day-to-day basis. Try to sleep when the baby when sleeps as often as you can. Ask a friend or relative to come watch the baby while you sleep.

Seek help

Women who experience PPD are at a higher risk for experiencing other issues, such as suicidal thoughts and increased anxiety. If left untreated, these can have major consequences for you and your family. Talk to a health care professional  or seek therapy. Seeking professional help can help alleviate these issues and lead to a much more satisfying life for you and your family.

Medication options

In some cases, medication can be a helpful option for women struggling with PPD. Talk to your doctor and be open about your symptoms. Be sure to learn about medication side effects before adding anything new, especially if you are breastfeeding or taking any other medication. Your doctor or pharmacist can help with any questions you may have.

Remember, you’re not alone and you don’t have to live with these feelings! You don’t have to carry any shame for feeling down or struggling. You can reach out for help and find a way through with patience, self-kindness and support.

Read more about PPD:

Baby Blues Gone Bad
https://www.postpartumdepression.org/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4842365/

Contributed by Elisa Squier, M.MFT, LMFT Associate

Clinical Supervision by Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S

Categories : Counseling
Tags : anxiety, baby blues, depression, family, mental health, motherhood, pregnancy, shame, wellness

3 Solutions For Women Who Overthink Everything

Posted by Angela Blocker on
 January 18, 2018
  · No Comments

Women love to think and, sometimes, overthink. In the 1990’s and early 2000’s, Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, Yale-educated expert psychologist studied mood, depression and gender differences. Her extensive and pioneering research on rumination helped explain why women are twice as likely to have depression than men and also demonstrated how widespread overthinking can be.

“When there is any pause in our daily activities,” says Nolen-Hoeksema in 2013, “many of us are flooded with worries, thoughts and emotions that swirl out of control, sucking our emotions and energy down, down, down. We are suffering from an epidemic of overthinking.”

In her book, Women Who Think Too Much, she defines overthinking and shares helpful tips to slow our minds down and stop the trap of overthinking.

Kneading Our Thoughts

Dr. Nolen-Hoeksema explains overthinking is paying attention to the thoughts created by our mood, mulling them over, taking them very seriously, and letting them influence our decisions.  It looks like going over your thoughts and then examining them repetitively. She says overthinking is similar to kneading our thoughts like dough. Overthinking is pervasive and self-focused and often not helpful. Researchers interviewed students about their results after overthinking. They discovered the students were less insightful and usually wrong about their assumptions. In fact, they had a kind of tunnel vision that only allowed them to focus on the negative. Overthinking is not your friend.

The Yeast Effect

Not only does getting caught kneading our thoughts lead us to have a negative focus; but, this overthinking comes with a yeast effect. In the same manner dough doubles in size when kneaded, our negative thoughts will grow when we work them over too. These oversized thoughts lead to less insight and consequently more negative decisions. Choices that can ruin your life, impair your well-being and ability to function in the world. Research shows ruminative-type thinking leads to a dip in our performance and our ability to concentrate, pay attention, and shift to account for the positive. Overthinking also affects our ability to problem solve well; and, when we do problem solve, we have difficulty adequately putting the solution in place.

Stopping the Cycle

  1. Break the grip of your thoughts by giving your mind a planned rest. Intentionally distract yourself with a positive activity like a mindful hobby, physical activity, good book, massage, or movie. Be your own “thought police”, firmly telling yourself to stop in the moment, and then schedule a specific time to think things over. Another solution is asking a friend or spouse to help and talking about what you are overthinking.
  2. Climb up out of the muck onto higher ground. Take time to change your focus away from overthinking to a healthier view of a situation. Don’t get stuck in comparisons or be ruled by negative emotions. Accept the pain then brainstorm possible solutions. Consider other simple reasons for your distress at first, like lack of sleep or hunger. Connect with higher values to evaluate all possible solutions. Next, take some small action to begin overcoming your problem. In the process, try to forgive those who have wronged you to let go of overthinking their offense. When implementing solutions, listen out for when your overthinking is the result of others telling you how you ought to be feeling, thinking or behaving.
  3. Avoid falling into the trap again. She says, “don’t go there.” Choose not to put yourself in situations that involve overthinking. Sometimes, this looks like physically avoiding a situation or letting go of unrealistic and unhealthy goals for yourself. However, if the trap feels unavoidable, create a new picture of yourself inside those situations by replacing negative images with positive ones. For an example, seeing yourself as someone who is competent to learn new skills or trying to find a satisfying story to understand your troubles. Finally, broaden your base for multiple sources of support. Becoming a volunteer at a cause you value or finding new friends in other stages of life can provide a different perspective on life.

 

“Over the past four decades women have experienced unprecedented growth in independence and opportunities,” Dr. Nolen-Hoeksema wrote, “We have many reasons to be happy and confident.”

Fuller Life is here to help you restore yourself to joy and calm.

References

Carey, B. (2013, January 13).Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, Psychologist Who Studied Depression in Women, Dies at 53. The New York Times. Retrieved November 12, 2017, from http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/14/us/susan-nolen-hoeksema-psychologist-who-studied-depression-in-women-dies-at-53.html?_r=0

Nolen-Hoeksema, S. (1987). Sex differences in unipolar depression: Evidence and theory. Psychological Bulletin, 101(2), 259-282.http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.101.2.259
Nolen-Hoeksema, S. (2000). The role of rumination in depressive disorders and mixed anxiety/depressive symptoms. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 109(3), 504-511.http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0021-843X.109.3.504
Nolen-Hoeksema, S. (2012). Women who think too much: how to break free of over-thinking and reclaim your life. London: Piatkus.
Nolen-Hoeksema, S., Wisco, B. E., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2008). Rethinking rumination. Perspectives on psychological science, 3(5), 400-424.

Lyubomirsky, S., & Nolen-Hoeksema, S. (1995). Effects of self-focused rumination on negative thinking and interpersonal problem solving. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 69(1), 176-190.doi. 10.1037//0022-3514.69.1.176

Contributed by Angela Blocker, M.A, LMFT Associate

Clinical Supervision by Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT, LPC

Categories : Lifestyle, Problem Solving, Sticky
Tags : acceptance, anxiety, overthink, rumination, self-care practices, thought paralysis, women
Anger

Covered in Red: How the Brain Uses Anger to Hide Pain

Posted by Shani Bell on
 November 7, 2017
  · 1 Comment

Thats it! You have had enough. Someone around you has done the very thing you hate. Almost immediately, you see red. Or maybe the anger  slowly brews and builds rage over a long period of time.

What is really happening underneath the anger? Some mental health professionals refer to anger as a secondary emotion. According to Dr. Harry Mills, anger is the emotion we are most aware we are experiencing. However, anger usually just hides the presence of deeper and less comfortable emotions like sadness, guilt, embarrassment, hurt, fear, etc.

The Anger Umbrella

If umbrellas are protective devices that we use to shield ourselves from exposure to the elements, then we can see anger in a similar way. Anger can seem like an exhibition of power, potentially making a threatening presence back away. It can be loud, volatile and tense. Clinical and forensic psychologist, Dr. Steven Diamond explains that this can be very useful in the face of a true threat. Suppose an attacker lunges at you and you have nowhere to go. Anger would propel you into defense mode much more than fear, possibly saving your life.

But what anger can also do is shield others and sometimes ourselves from seeing the pain, embarrassment or other more vulnerable emotions that exist underneath. If your friend or spouses actions have triggered hurt for you and you believe feeling hurt may show weakness, being mad is likely to step in to try to ensure that no one takes advantage.

Anger and the brain

Interestingly, the brain moves us very quickly from these primary emotions to anger. It can happen so fast that we hardly even notice the switch unless we are aware enough to do some reflective backtracking. Dr. Seltzer describes how the brain releases the hormone, norepinephrine, into the bloodstream to numb mental or physical pain during an mad response. Basically, the brain uses anger to hide pain.

The Truth Shall Make You Free

Why is it important to expose the truth behind your anger? Because dealing with the root issue is much more effective than simply managing the anger symptoms. Oftentimes, in sessions with clients, I find that anger dissolves once the actual emotions behind them are identified. I can visibly see anger give way to the revelation of sadness or embarrassment. Once the client is honest about his thoughts and feelings, he is better able to process and heal from the root issue. The next time you recognize yourself responding in anger, try working through the following steps:

  1. What thoughts are connected to the anger? Suppose you are angry with your partner about not spending time with you. You may be thinking, He doesnt want to spend time with me which may lead to the thought, He doesnt think Im worth spending time with.
  2. What other feelings come up? When you identify the thoughts connected with the anger, you can then work through the deeper emotions connected to the thoughts. Take a moment to sit with the thought. Maybe you can journal about it. For instance, if you say to yourself, My partner doesn’t think that Im worth spending time with. This may uncover feelings of sadness, hurt or low self-worth from beneath the irritation.
  3. What do I do with what I have? Now that the thoughts and emotions within the anger have been identified, it is time to work through them and decide how you can respond in a way you value. Having new information about how you are thinking and feeling might give rise to new issues that need to be addressed. In the example above, you realize your belief is your partner does not think you are worth spending time with and this is connected to feelings of hurt and low self-worth. This enables you to talk with your partner from a more self-aware position and potentially improves understanding. You could also talk to yourself about your beliefs. Take time to consider how you determine your self-worth and if it is healthy.

Living Life Uncovered

You might notice that developing a habit of hiding painful emotions leads to habitual rage. Such a lifestyle of anger destroys relationships and creates bitterness. Have the courage to allow yourself to own the truth of your experience. Otherwise, holding onto hostility can keep you stuck.

There is a time and a place for anger to be expressed in healthy ways. Stay tuned for the follow-up to this blog to find out what healthy anger looks like.

Additional Resources:

Using Anger Constructively – An Angry Bird Philosophy

Contributed by Shani Bell, MAAT, LPC-Intern

Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S

 

 

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Categories : Anger Management, Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Self-Awareness, Sticky, Stress Management
Tags : anger management, anxiety, Communication, emotional intelligence, emotional regulation, self-awareness, stress management

Mess & Stress: The Science Behind Your Clutter

Posted by Shani Bell on
 July 6, 2017
  · 1 Comment

Look around you right now. Can you see the floor or is it covered in laundry? Are you reading this while sitting at a desk stacked high with clutter? So maybe you are not quite at hoarder status, but if you find yourself struggling to keep your external space organized, it might reflect a similar internal struggle.

Getting to the Bottom of the Pile

Some people are nurtured into a messy lifestyle. They grow up in families where a disorganized space is the norm. Others may find the busyness of life or personal circumstances leads to neglect in places like their home, workspace or vehicle. Maybe it feels like there is too much to do and too little time, so neatness is sacrificed for a higher priority. You may feel the whole process of keeping order overwhelming, tiring and pointless. Won’t it just get messy again anyway?

But there is a benefit to making order a priority in your life. Studies point out that a clean space can contribute to better cognition and better sleep. It is also physically safer and more life-efficient. Just as clutter in your physical space can signify clutter in your mental space, order around you can be a sign of an orderly mind. Living, and attempting to function, in messy spaces can also increase anxiety. And who needs extra anxiety??

What comes first – the mess or the stress?

Much like the age-old question about the chicken or the egg, identifying if your stress leads to mess or the other way around can be a challenge.  Those who struggle with anxiety, depression or other factors that contribute to a lack of motivation may also tend to struggle with keeping their spaces tidy. Though others may dismiss these people as just being lazy. In other words, your mess might not be the cause of anxiety or depression, but it might be a symptom of it.

Getting out of the Dumps

So, what do you do about the mess?

If you believe that your clutter problem might be due to an internal struggle, try addressing the root of the problem. This might mean some self-reflection, confronting a person or thing you have been avoiding or seeking the help of a mental health professional. Do what it takes to function at your best.

But whether the mess is the cause or symptom, anyone can benefit from clearing the clutter. If this task seems too daunting. Try the following tips:

  • Focus. Find one project to tackle and stick with it. Don’t allow yourself to try to achieve too many organization goals at once. Give yourself time-limited breaks for long tasks and get right back to it. Leave distractions like cellphones and computers in the other room.
  • Stash it away. Your brain is taking in everything it sees and it can be overwhelming. Neatly store items that you do not use often out of sight. Try organizing the items that you frequently use in easily accessible but less visible places.
  • Put it back. After you gain order, don’t make it hard on yourself. It may seem easier in the short-term to just throw that one item on the floor, but over time you will find yourself right back in the middle of a mess. Give “future you” a break and put it back where you found it. You’ll find that creating and maintaining order over time helps you breathe a little easier.

Want to know more?  Check out these related articles:

  • Collector, Minimalist or Hoarder: Whoever Dies With The Most Toys Wins
  • Create Balance: Living Well in the Midst of Anxiety

  • The Truth on Multitasking: What Will Doing it All at Once Do to You?

 

Contributed by

Shani Bell, MAAT, LPC-Intern

Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S

Categories : Anxiety & Panic, Counseling, Depression, Mental Health, Self-Awareness, Sticky
Tags : anxiety, counseling, depression, mental health, self-awareness

How Samantha Used Self-Talk To Turn Her Anxiety Around

Posted by Taylor Knox on
 April 20, 2017
  · No Comments

Samantha is a 34-year-old teacher who, like many people, struggles with anxiety and depression. She has a hard time motivating herself to get out of bed in the mornings knowing her day will be full of worry and fear. Her self-talk tells her she is worthless. She is embarrassed about her struggles and hates mostly everything about herself. One day she feels especially low and finds herself thinking about her life and how much she worries. The thoughts persist and before she knows it she is having a hard time breathing.  Her chest is tightening and she feels like she has lost control. This is not the first panic attack she has experienced.  She is so sick of feeling anxiety is running her life.

Feeling especially frustrated with herself the next day, she decides to get help by seeking therapy. The therapist helps Samantha realize that she can use her own internal dialogue to change how she experiences and thinks about things. As she practices and changes the way she talks to herself in her head, she notices her mood begins to shift. With persistence, Samantha is able to use her self-talk to stop panic attacks and relate to her anxiety differently. Her mood improves as she is kind to herself rather than beat herself up. These shifts empower Samantha.  She is finally able to learn how to navigate her emotions rather than be overtaken by them.

During one therapy session, Samantha becomes overwhelmed with anxiety and panic. She reads a handout about self-talk and learns she has the ability to choose what she says to herself in her head. Samantha’s automatic thoughts were telling her, “I can’t do this. I can’t breathe. It’s gonna happen again. You’re so stupid for talking about this.”  Rather than allowing her anxiety to choose her thoughts she decides to tell herself, “Breathe. You are going to be okay. It will pass. You can do this. Just breathe.”

To Samantha’s surprise, she found panic and fear dissipated as she took deep breaths and talked herself out of the all-familiar anxiety spiral. Samantha feels empowered, like she can control her thoughts for the first time in a long time. She practices this concept with her normal day to day anxious thoughts and is amazed at how she keeps herself from spiraling. She does all of this by simply reminding herself to relax and changing the way she talks to herself.

As Samantha learns to experience her anxiety differently, she notices she is becoming more motivated and it is easier to get out of bed in the mornings. Her therapist notices and points out Samantha was still placing a lot of blame on herself. She is still making comments like, “I’m so dumb. I always mess things up. No one likes me because I’m depressing.” So Samantha’s therapist challenges her to apply what she knows about self-talk to a new concept of self-compassion.

Next, Samantha practices an exercise called “Changing Your Critical Self-Talk.” She begins to notice the harsh ways she speaks to herself in her head and chooses kind and compassionate words instead. This takes a lot of practice. However, with time, the new way she talks to herself begins to shape the way she thinks about and sees herself. This has a powerful impact on her critical, anxious, and depressive thoughts.

Samantha’s effort to challenge her automatic ways of talking to herself was not easy, yet she finds it worth the effort. Many people struggling with mild to severe anxiety or depression can benefit by changing the way they talk to themselves. Sometimes they can be successful alone and others may need the professional help of a therapist. So if you or someone you know needs further help addressing anxious or depressive thoughts, there are therapists (at Fuller Life Family Therapy and all over the country) waiting to help. See if you can begin to change the things you say to yourself and notice the effect on your mood.

Read more on our blog about the power of compassionate Self-Talk:
  • The Benefits of Self-Compassion
  • Scary Thoughts
  • Create Balance: Living well in the midst of anxiety
  • Three simple ways to get yourself unstuck

Stay tuned,

Taylor Knox, LPC-Intern

Supervised by Amy Fuller, PhD, LPC-S

 

Categories : Anxiety & Panic, Anxiety Issues, Cognitive Reframing, Counseling, Self-Awareness, Sticky
Tags : anxiety, cognitive reframing, self-awareness

Collector, Minimalist or Hoarder: Whoever Dies With The Most Toys Wins

Posted by Laura Cardella on
 December 22, 2016
  · No Comments

What is your lifestyle?  Did you arrive at this style intentionally?  Or did you wake up one day asking, “Where did I get all this stuff?”  Some of us are very purposeful about what we collect.  We plan our lives so that we buy a house by age 25, upgrade to a bigger house by 30, and purchase a camper and boat by age 40.

The Intent to Stay Small

On the other hand, some keep their possessions so few they can pack up and move without renting a van.  These are minimalists. They shop at second hand stores for their family’s clothing. They grow and consume their own produce. A bicycle is their primary transportation, using a car only for lengthier trips.  Minimalists are often motivated by a prudent use of the ecosystem.  They struggle to accept that  “12 percent of the world’s population living in North America and Western Europe account for 60 percent of private consumption spending.”

Your Neighborhood’s Style

Within your own neighborhood, you may see signs of lifestyles affected by increasing consumption.  Do you see storage units flourishing in your community?  Parking lots built for extraneous boats, trailers, huge RVs being stored behind high fences?

The size and décor of  homes is showcased on several Home and Garden TV series.  Tiny Houses is about homes which shelter families in a space of 150 square feet or less.  On the other side of the spectrum, the ubiquitous house hunting and remodeling programs showcase large homes with expensive décor.

New Careers for the 21st Century

Our love for collecting is contributing to the flourishing professional organizing business which has sprung up worldwide in just the last 25 years, creating new niche careers.

Ellen Delap, a local certified organizer, attests to the growing popularity of people consulting organizers to make their homes more livable and less cluttered.

A Japanese organizer, Marie Kondo, is famous for her tidiness program.   She began developing her method when she was a five- year-old interested in home organization.  Her first book, “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up” describes a scaled down and totally tidied home life.  Kondo can be seen on YouTube, Marie Kondo: “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up” | Talks at Google https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1-HMMX_NR8

 Too Much of a Good Thing?

Recent television shows  bring “hoarding disorder,”one of the newer mental health problems, to our attention.  Television illustrates people with hoarding disorders living in the chaos of their own homes.  These programs display piles of newspapers, boxes of unworn shoes or unopened toys.  Piles of clothing barely leave space to walk through the home.  Do you think these home owners are inundated by their offsprings’ discarded childhood treasures?  Have they inherited their relations’ household furnishings and lifetime collections?  Not necessarily.

Hoarding Disorder

Actually, hoarding does not require help from either of these sources.  Hoarding disorder is characterized by ongoing difficulty in discarding possessions.  Hoarders try to “save” the items, even though they are not needed and there isn’t adequate space for their collection.  They do not perceive anything abnormal about these behaviors.  Having “excessive acquisitions” is often denied by hoarders, who typically feel anxiety when others try to limit their collecting.   The two to six percent of Americans and Europeans displaying hoarding symptoms are predominantly males over 55 years of age.  According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), 75% of hoarders also suffer from a depressive or anxiety disorder.

Downsizing

Another phase in the life of consumers is the down-sizer.  These are people who are at retirement age.  They no longer need to build a home for future children.  This segment of the population:

  • Is happy with their lives and comfortable with purging any excess and,
  • Enjoy the freedom of having fewer possessions to keep tidy and in good repair.

On the other hand, some of them:

  • Live with regret for unrealized dreams.
  • Are not ready to step down from their leadership roles at work, in the community and church.
  • Are unwilling to pass the torch to  younger generations.
  • Have declining social networks as  increasing numbers of their friends and families die.
  • Are shifting from participant to bystander at work or in their communities.
  • After downsizing their possessions they may opt for the convenience of apartment or senior community living.

What’s your lifestyle? Have you arrived at this intentionally?  Are you content with your circumstances?  Do you allow others to enjoy their own way of life, although it may differ from yours?

Perhaps you might take time to consider which category best describes your lifestyle. If you find you or someone you care about needs help with hoarding, here are some resources that may be helpful.

  • International OCD Foundation
  • The Hoarding Disorder Resource and Training Group
  • Resources For Families and Children of Hoarders
  • Help for Hoarders: Resources for Hoarders and Their Loved Ones

This holiday season may highlight the differences between family and friends’ various styles of living and giving.  You will be challenged as you try to buy the perfect gift for those having different styles than your own.  If you are a minimalist who objects to wastefulness, your values may clash with those who are not mindful of  over consumption.  And as a minimalist receives gifts, they may have to bite their tongue while receiving the gift offerings of their friends who are collectors.  Whatever your circumstance, let us remember, “Peace on earth to all!”

 

Laura is an LPC-Intern, under supervision of Dr. Amy Fuller, LPC-S, in Houston, Texas.

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Categories : Counseling, Lifestyle, Social Skills, transitions
Tags : acceptance, anxiety, mental health, mindfulness, self-awareness

Baby Blues Gone Bad

Posted by Laura Cardella on
 September 8, 2016
  · No Comments

The promise of new life brings with it anticipation and dreams of a growing family. Happiness is what many of us think of when we await the arrival of a child. However, as many as 13- 20% of new mothers experience post-partum depression. Baby Blues is the name given to a natural transition period of two weeks after giving birth, when 70% of mothers experience high emotions and mood swings and anxiety about parenting an infant. Those who experience depression for periods longer than two weeks may be experiencing Post-Partum Depression (PPD).  The third and most serious of these post-partum ailments is post-partum psychosis; but we will focus on post-partum depression in this article.

PPD’s Major Symptoms

The symptoms of post-partum depression match those of a major depressive episode and may include sadness, loss of interest in usual pursuits, poor sleep, lethargy, weight loss or gain, anxiety, feeling worthless or thoughts of suicide.

Post-Partum Psychosis

A more serious and less common ailment that may develop after childbirth is called Post-Partum Psychosis.  Post-partum psychosis develops suddenly and may include cognitive problems such as delusions, confusion, inability to function, and thoughts of harming herself or baby.  Post- partum psychosis is more serious than Baby Blues or Post-Partum Depression and requires immediate medical and mental health treatment.

Effects of Post-Partum Depression

Post-partum depression is severe enough to have both short and long term effects on mother and baby emotionally, socially and cognitively. Children of mothers suffering from PPD, who were tested from 7 days to  12 years of age, showed evidence of lagging at each developmental stage. Feldman(2009) claims mothers with PPD have “difficulty in supporting a child’s independence, creativity, executive functions, empathy and peer friendships, all functions that emerge during the preschool stage.” The low social interaction between a mother with PPD and her infant reflects the mother’s lack of energy and involvement. Early diagnosis and ongoing evaluation and treatment is necessary to minimize the negative effects to mother, baby and family.

 Types of Mental Health Treatments

The types of psychotherapy used to treat post-partum depression may include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), non-directive counseling, hypnosis, art therapy, inter-personal therapy, relaxation exercises and problem solving techniques.  Phone coaching has also been used for the convenience of the new mother.

Successful Treatment Programs


Current successful treatment programs include:

  • The Scottish Mellow Babies programs post-partum therapy offered from the beginning of pregnancy as part of birthing classes Based on up to date research, Mellow Parenting designs programmes to address gaps in current service provision which help to address social and health inequalities. The programmes are piloted and evaluated thoroughly until the evidence suggests that they work effectively.
  • Hospitals that offer post-partum therapy for all mothers from the beginning of pregnancy during birthing classes. See a list of postpartum locations here.
  • Pediatricians and therapists who partner to offer post-partum programs prescribing mothers’ counseling or group therapy sessions synchronized with appointments when the new baby sees a pediatrician.  Postpartum depression: an update

Moving Forward Globally

Post-partum depression treatment is an area that needs further study and the development of best practices. Mothers suffer, infants fall behind developmentally and families are stressed by post- partum depression. It is time to do something about this centuries old, worldwide illness. We urgently need awareness and timely therapy during this vulnerable post-partum time.

Who Will Answer?

Who will advocate for this population? Who will speak to the medical and mental health providers? Will you? Will you inform your doctors and encourage them to offer and promote proactive practices on behalf of the world’s littlest and weakest? Together we can improve lives of mothers, babies and families.

Remember Fuller Life Family Therapy when you need a trained ear to listen.

Resources:

Clay, E.& Seehusen, D. (2004). A review of postpartum depression for the primary care physician. Southern Medical Journal, 97 (2):157-61; quiz 162.

Feldman, R., & Eidelman, A. I. (2009) Biological and environmental initial conditions shape the trajectories of cognitive and social–emotional development across the first years of life. Developmental Science, 12(1), 194–200.

Lewis, Carol; Byers, Allison; Malard, Sarah; and Dawson, Gregory. (2010). Challenges in diagnosing and Treating Post-Partum Blues, Depression and Psychosis. Alabama Counseling Association Journal, 36, 1.

Murray, L., Cooper, P., Wilson, A. and Romaniuk, H. (2003). Controlled trial of the short- and long-term effect of psychological treatment of post-partum depression: 2. Impact on the mother-child relationship and child outcome. British Journal of Psychiatry, 182:420-7.

Puckering C. (2010). Mellow Babies: A group intervention for infants and mothers experiencing postnatal depression. Counselling Psychology Review, 25(1), 28-40.

Sit, Dorothy; Rothschild, Anthony; Wisner, Katherine L. (2006). “A Review of Postpartum Psychosis.” Journal of Women’s Health (15409996) 15(4), 352-368.

Laura Cardella

Laura L. Cardella, LPC Intern Supervised by Amy Fuller PhD, LPC-S

 

Categories : Anxiety Issues, Counseling, Depression, Mental Health, Post Partum Depression
Tags : anxiety, counseling, depression, mental health, post partum depression
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