Self-Care Practice :: Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute

Archive for Self-Care Practice

Me, Myself, and I

July 23, 2018

The Self

The self is our sense of personal identity, it is a mental picture that we have of ourselves based on a number of things. The self is comprised of our moods, cognitions, behaviors, and relationships. Furthermore, the self is made up of our unique personal traits, physical characteristics, abilities, values, roles, and goals. Our sense of self begins to develop as young children and continues to develop throughout our lifetime. The experiences that we encounter throughout our lives have an impact on who we are and how we perceive ourselves. At times, it can be easy to lose our sense of self due to the interactions that we have with others, particularly loved ones. It is because of this that it is important to have a clear understanding of who we are.

Self-Awareness

Developing greater self-awareness is a necessary skill to learn if one is interested in growing as a more balanced and confident adult. Self-awareness is the extent to which we are focusing on and aware of our own self- concept. Our self-concept can be accessible for short periods of times like when we are in front of a mirror and we suddenly become aware of ourselves, or for longer periods of time like when we are clear and aware of our sexual preference. Because self-awareness comes and goes it is easy to lose sight of who are, and therefore more likely to violate our own values and norms. This is especially true when we are in a group setting where there is more pressure to conform to the group mentality.

Gaining Self-Awareness

Increasing self-awareness can be achieved through a number of mindful and intentional practices. As mentioned earlier, it is a skill to develop, and therefore requires time and intentionality. One of the best ways to gain greater self-awareness is to process your life story with a mental health professional who can help you gain greater insight into yourself. Seeking the help of a counselor can not only help you become more self-aware, but also can help you understand yourself better. Another way to practice self-awareness is by committing to dedicating 15-20 minutes of your day to exploring yourself and what you are about. You might even consider writing down ideas about who you are and what your values and beliefs are in order to gain greater clarity. Lastly, one way to learn more about yourself is through personality tests like the famous Myers-Briggs or the Enneagram personality assessment.

Being clear about who you are is essential for going through life, and learning to develop further self-awareness is a skill that can be developed through mindful and intentional practice. Because our sense of self is influenced and molded by the world around us, it is important to be clear about where we stand in that world. Our sense of self develops as we go through life, and because of this practicing self-awareness can aid in growing as balanced and confident adults.

For more information on the self and how to achieve greater awareness of the self, please visit: https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-descriptions/

http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/home.htm?bhcp=1

http://open.lib.umn.edu/socialpsychology/chapter/4-1-the-cognitive-self-the-self-concept/

Categories : Anxiety Issues, Boundaries, Counseling, Emotional Intelligence, Mental Health, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Awareness, Self-Care Practices

Tags : boundaries, emotional intelligence, mental health, mindfulness practice, self-awareness, Self-Care Practice

Picture This! How to Get What You Dream

Posted by Shani Bell on

May 10, 2016

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Vision boards can be helpful for people who are looking to discover, clarify or focus on their future goals. Creating a visual representation of things you want to achieve, and setting it before you, helps you create a habit of daily focus.

Such daily focus can inspire, encourage, and remind you to take regular steps towards your success. An earlier blog described the problem-solving benefits of creating a collage. The same principle applies to creating vision boards to clarify future goals.

Steps to a Brighter Future

Gather supplies: Magazines, scissors, glue, poster board and markers. Additional supplies like paint, scrapbook materials, glitter, etc. are optional, but add pizzazz.

Spend a little time meditating, praying or journaling about the direction of your life or the particular area for which you are setting goals. Your vision may include career goals, business ventures, hopes for family and relationships, spirituality or travel. Open yourself up to huge possibilities while being realistic. Set a reasonable number of goals, preferably no more than 5, that are workable and achievable. Be specific. Instead of thinking, “I want to be more charitable,” think about what being charitable looks like. What causes are important to you? How will you give your time and other resources? Goals can be long-term or short-term. You may consider creating such a board in place of annual resolutions.

Next, start skimming through magazines and clippings. Pull out images that speak to you and connect with your vision. You can be symbolic or literal here, whatever helps you visualize the dreams and goals seeking. If you’re spiritual, you can ask for direction. As you pull the images out, start arranging them or just set them aside until you feel that you have found all the ones you need.

Now assemble the images on your board. If you are representing several areas of goals, you may want to divide the board into different sections and label each (i.e. Spiritual Growth, Family, Finances, etc.). When you’ve settled on the design and arrangement, glue them down. Add labels, paint, glitter – or just keep it simple. It’s YOUR vision board. Make it a reflection of you.

Make it Work

Creating the vision board is just the FIRST step. The key is to place this visible reminder in an area where you will see it daily. Consider taking a picture of the vision board and using it as a screensaver on your computer or mobile devices. But don’t just look at it.

It is not enough to simply look at what you create and lose yourself in the daydream about someday. Invest yourself in the vision you set before you by making a step towards it daily. If you’re looking to take more family vacations, let the vision board remind you to research and plan for the next trip. If your vision is to make a career change, see your vision board as a reminder to sign up for college courses or motivate you to send out your resume every day. After you create the vision board, work the vision!

To keep yourself motivated as you achieve goals, you can even use the vision board as a checklist. Place check marks, stick pins or cross out met goals. Add quotes, scriptures or words of affirmation to help encourage you on the journey.

Would you like someone to help you work towards finding direction and focus for your life? Contact one of our Resident Therapists at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute.

Shani Bell, MAAT, LPC-Intern

Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S and Dr. Sheryl Corbit, EdD, ATR-BC, LPC-AT/S

Categories : Counseling, Mental Health, Mindfulness Practice, Problem Solving, Self-Care Practices, Self-Validation (affirmations), Sticky, Time Management

Tags : counseling, mental health, mindfulness, mindfulness practice, Problem Solving, Self-Care Practice, time management

Mindful Movement: The Cutting Edge of Exercise and Mental Health

Posted by Angela Blocker on

April 12, 2016

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Have you heard about Mindful Movement?

Mindful walking, running, swimming, biking, hiking and even pole dancing all exist. Jon Kabat-Zinn is the Founder and Executive Director of the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society. He is also a leader of mindfulness research, and has even trained the US Men’s Olympic Rowing Team in mindfulness exercises. Some of whom even went on to win gold medals!

Mindful exercises exist for the purpose of improving physical well-being and also mental health. Dr. Dilip Jeste, former president of the American Psychiatry Association and Distinguished Professor of Psychiatry and Neuroscience, and colleague Dr. Helen Lavretsky at UCLA, have done extensive research. They have demonstrated the positive impact of mindfulness exercises on medical conditions such as hypertension, cardiovascular disease, insulin resistance, depression and anxiety disorders.

Can you just move and be mindful of it?

Dr. Dilip Jeste, defined mindful exercise as “physical exercise executed with a profound inwardly directed contemplative focus.” Mindful exercise combines the core principles mindfulness with mild to moderate physical exercise. Helen Lavretsky expanded this definition stating that mindful exercise consists of five elements:

A non-judgmental and non-competitive attitude. The goal here is not to try to prevent judgements. Jon Kabat-Zinn, explains, “It brings awareness to how judgmental we actually are.” Be gentle with yourself
A focus on the movement of your body’s muscles and their position in and through space.
Centered breathing. Breathe deeply from your abdomen. Place a hand on your chest and one on your stomach. Breathe in and observe which hand rises with the breath. Try to raise the hand on your belly. Notice the breath in your body and the rhythm of your inhale and exhale.
An intentional focus on correct physical form and body alignment, specifically the spine, the trunk, and the pelvis. Proper body positioning when exercising helps keep the mind and the body focused.
An awareness of the energy generating body movement. Pay attention to the strength needed to exert each movement. Our bodies have become incredibly skilled to lift, stretch and bend. Concentrate on the work needed to complete each move.

Dr. Gary Foster, founder of Living Well and international speaker, suggests several things to avoid when practicing mindfulness.

What mindful exercise is NOT

Losing yourself in your thoughts and feelings. While it is normal to have a thought or two enter your mind, try not to focus on them. Observe the thoughts or emotions and let them come and go like waves. Avoid daydreaming.

Lunch, laundry and deadlines. Focus on the present moment and not your to-do’s for the rest of the day.

Disregarding the pain. As you exercise, pay attention the subtle tension and possible discomfort coming from a body that is becoming healthier. Avoid movements that cause pain.
This is a big “no-no”. If you catch yourself becoming concerned about your time, pace, distance, or number of repetitions in a manner that causes you to lose perspective of yourself and the world —you aren’t practicing mindfulness. Rather, allow yourself to enjoy the exercise.

Maybe mindful pole dancing isn’t exactly your thing.

Mindfulness is a valuable skill gained through practice. The easiest way to practice is to incorporate it into activities you engage in regularly. Check out the following links to add mindfulness to a physical activity you may currently .

Fuller Life is here to help you live a more mindful life.

Contributed by

Angela Blocker , M.A, LMFT Associate

Clinical Supervision by Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT, LPC

References

Alidina, S., & Hickman, S. D. (2010). Mindfulness for dummies. Chichester, West Sussex, Eng.: John Wiley & Sons.
Foster, G. (2015). Mindfulness exercises | Living Well. Retrieved March 15, 2016, from http://www.livingwell.org.au/mindfulness-exercises-3
Kabat-Zinn, J. (2003). Mindfulness-Based Interventions in Context: Past, Present, and Future. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 10(2), 144-156.
Lavretsky, H. (2013, May 19). Mindful exercise and mental health | OUPblog. Retrieved March 15, 2016, from http://blog.oup.com/2013/05/mindful-exercise-cam-mental-health/#sthash.rz8yKPph.dpuf

Categories : Mindfulness Practice, Self-Care Practices, Sticky

Tags : mindfulness practice, physical health, Self-Care Practice

Add Flavor to Mindfulness with Color and Music?

Posted by Shani Bell on

March 15, 2016

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There has been much focus lately on the benefits of mindfulness, a practice that encourages focused attention and self-acceptance in the present moment. You may know about mindfulness through methods like meditation, prayer and yoga. But what might happen to your mindfulness practice if you added a little art or music?

Why Try Mindfulness?

Why practice mindfulness in the first place? Research shows that mindfulness increases focus and can decrease symptoms related to stress, anxiety, fatigue, depression, chronic pain, sleep problems and high blood pressure. Baer informs us that mindfulness encourages people to focus on present thoughts and emotions in a way that is accepting and curious rather than judgmental. Being hypercritical of thoughts and emotions can cause us to push them away increasing stress and tension. We find ourselves saying things like, “Ugh! I shouldn’t feel this way!” It is better to acknowledge thoughts and feelings for what they are and begin the process of self-regulation. With mindfulness, we increase our present, personal and environmental awareness. We can then take the opportunity to curiously observe and honestly observe our inner experience, labeling what is happening, accepting it as it is and then releasing it with a prayer or meditative statement.

Artful Awareness

Therapeutic approaches like Mindfulness-Based Art Therapy (MBAT) have found similarities between creative and mindfulness practices. These two practices can be combined to enhance their effectiveness. Activities like drawing, playing an instrument, listening to music or writing poetry require single-task concentration that reflects the same sort of present-awareness needed to participate in mindfulness.

Consider this. When an artist draws her subject, she must observe it closely, recognizing the shape and position of the subject, noticing the folds and creases. She would not be likely to see these details if she were just observing that same thing in passing. With a mindful stance she can more adequately depict the subject of her art. The more the artist practices this type of art, the more she finds her ability to “see” improves. In learning to play music, the body and mind are fully engaged in the singular task of creating sound. The fingers are positioned, the body is postured and the mind is alert. The more the musician practices, the more natural his movements and the flow of music become.

When incorporating the arts into mindfulness practice, skill level in playing music or creating artwork is not the focus. The intention is to use the creative process to stay engaged and increase the focus on the present experience: what you see, think, hear and how you are inwardly responding. Use the art as an anchor to maintain present focus when the mind starts to wander.

So, what are some examples of ways you could incorporate creativity into your mindfulness practice?

Try blind contour drawing. Choose a drawing utensil (marker, pencil, chalk, etc.) and a piece of paper. Find a subject in your environment and focus in on it. While your eyes trace the lines and shapes of the subject, move your drawing utensil in unison, drawing one contiguous line but WITHOUT looking at your paper. This exercise requires deep concentration. To process troubling emotions, try finding a subject that is related to the issue at hand. For example, if you are having a disagreement with a family member that is causing you distress, find a picture of that person and use this as the subject of your contour drawing. Allow yourself to be non-judgmentally present with any feelings that may arise. You might even try journaling after the exercise. Couples could practice present awareness with each other by creating a blind contour drawing of their partner.

Blind contour drawing of a hand

Find time alone to play an instrument like the drums or the piano. Try closing your eyes while playing and improvising or playing by ear. As you do this, observe the changes in your bodily responses as well as what emotions or imagery come up for you during this creative experience.

If you do not have access to an instrument or do not feel musically inclined, you can listen to music mindfully. Choose a particular song or genre of music to which you feel connected. Pay attention to the characteristics of the song: beat, changes in tempo, harmony, melody, etc. Notice how the visceral responses in your body and emotions respond. Identify the mood of the song and how this connects to your inner experience. If the song has lyrics, notice what words or verses stand out to you.

There are a myriad of ways that the arts can be used to engage your senses and keep you inspired to stay present. Be creative and find what works for you. As you develop a lifestyle of mindfulness, you will likely find a deeper understanding of yourself and a greater sense of the world around you.

If you are seeking a professional to help you to gain awareness and personal insight, please contact us at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute.

Shani Bell, MAAT, LPC-Intern

Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S and Dr. Sheryl Corbit, EdD, ATR-BC, LPC-AT/S

References

Baer, R. A. (2003). Mindfulness training as a clinical intervention: A conceptual and empirical review. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 10, 125–143. Retrieved from http://www.ecsa.ucl.ac.be/personnel/philippot/DocStudents/baer%202003%20mindfulness%20training%20as%20clinical%20intervention.pdf

Eckhardt, K. J. and Dinsmore, J. A. (2012). Mindful music listening as a potential treatment for depression. Journal of Creativity in Mental Health, 7, 176-186. Retrieved from http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15401383.2012.685020

Grant, A. M., Langer, E. J., Falk, E. & Capodilupo, C. (2004). Mindful creativity: Drawing to draw distinctions. Creativity Research Journal, 16, 261-265. Retrieved from http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/10400419.2004.9651457

Monti, D. A., Peterson, C., Shakin Kunkel, E. J., Hauck, W. W., Pequignot, E., Rhodes, L., & Brainard, G. C. (2006). A randomized, controlled trial of Mindfulness-Based Art Therapy (MBAT) for women with cancer. Psycho-Oncology, 15, 363–373. Retrieved from http://www.mindfullart.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Controlled-Triall-2005.pdf

Oyan, S. (2006). Mindfulness meditation: Creative musical performance through awareness. Retrieved from http://etd.lsu.edu/docs/available/etd-03312006-164516/unrestricted/Oyan_dis.pdf

Categories : Anxiety & Panic, Counseling, Depression, Mental Health, Mindfulness Practice, Self-Care Practices, Sticky, Stress Management

Tags : anxiety, anxiety and panic, counseling, depression, emotional intelligence, mental health, mindfulness, mindfulness practice, self-care, Self-Care Practice, self-care practices, stress management

The Truth on Multitasking: What Will Doing it All at Once Do to You?

Posted by Shani Bell on

January 14, 2016

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You’re writing your long list of New Year’s resolutions while checking emails for work while feeding the baby. Then the phone rings…

We live in a world of busyness with an abundance of tasks and seemingly little time to do them. New goals may mean even more things to add to the task list adding pressure to pull double or maybe triple duty during your day. We may think that, by attacking several items at once, we are efficiently completing to-do lists in a fraction of the time. However, surprising studies clearly show that dividing your attention among many tasks leaves none done as well as you would like. More importantly, it can wreak havoc on your mind.

Multitasking and Productivity

Researchers have discovered that avid multitaskers are less efficient at organizing thoughts, filtering information, and switching to new tasks than those who complete one task at a time. The actions done while multitasking also take longer to complete than if they had been done separately and mindfully. This means that, rather than improving productivity as intended, productivity is actually being reduced when taking on multiple projects. Studies have even found that a person’s IQ drops significantly during multitasking. The effects are similar to sleep deprivation or marijuana use!

Multitasking and Mental Health

Multitasking not only affects the outcome of projects, but also the mental health of the person. Dr. Irwin of Macquarie University in Australia noted that people who worked on more than one assignment at a time were less able to find satisfaction in completing them. Stress also increased with multitasking. The prefrontal cortex, an area of the brain responsible for functions needed for multitasking, such as prioritizing, is susceptible to the effects of prolonged stress. This may relate to a study by Psychologist, Dr. Mark Becker, who found a preliminary connection between media multitasking, depression, and anxiety.

Multitasking and Relationships

And what about the effects of our multi-tasking behaviors on our relationships? When we spend time checking social media and work-related tasks on our devices during quality time with loved ones, we may actually be checking out of our relationships. For parents of young children, having eyes on devices rather than responding to their children with focused attention and eye contact can leave their kids lacking a sense of attachment, self-esteem, and social skills. In relationships in general, it is difficult to foster intimacy and connection without key components like eye contact and focused attention. Over time, relationships with too many distractions begin to suffer.

Help for Multitaskers

Not convinced? If you still think you’re a successful multi-tasker who’s an exception to the rule, try this test.

Now that you know the adverse effects of multitasking, try these pointers to improve your productivity while staying focused:

Instead of multitasking, try serial tasking. Complete a singular task fully and thoroughly before you begin another.
Notice your experience. When thoughts go astray from the project at hand, bring them back to the present moment by taking a deep breath and bringing awareness to the experience of completing what is in front of you. Pay attention to your senses, emotions, and thoughts about the project. You might even try writing a grounding message on a sticky note related to the project such as, “WRITE” or “COME BACK” to remind you to stay present. Mindfulness is a skill that takes time to build. So have patience with yourself and keep practicing.
Take structured breaks. Allow yourself a distraction for a specified amount of time at regular intervals during your task. But make sure to stay disciplined and adhere to the time limits that you set. This will reduce the tendency for your mind to wander involuntarily.
Make eye contact. If quality time with a friend or loved one is the task at hand, what better way is there to focus than with your eyes? Commit to putting devices away so that you can fully experience the person you are with. Eye contact helps to show others that you value and appreciate them. Where the eyes go, the mind will follow.
If you must multitask, do it effectively. Here’s the catch: Not ALL multitasking is not bad. Certain activities can be done together with great results. The trick is to couple activities that do not require the same areas of the brain. For instance, jogging while listening to an audio book for class or sending an email on the bus ride to work.

Armed with the knowledge of the risks of multitasking, head into the New Year living life more fully and effectively. Foster a lifestyle of present awareness and focused activity and note how your mental health, productivity and relationships change in 2016.

If you would like to explore more ways to live a more well-balanced life, contact us at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute. We are here to help.

Shani Bell, MAAT, LPC-Intern

Supervised by Dr. Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S and Dr. Sheryl Corbit, EdD, ATR-BC, LPC-AT/S

Categories : Problem Solving, Self-Care Practices, Sticky, Stress Management, Time Management

Tags : Self-Care Practice, stress, stress management, time management

Managing Disappointment

Posted by Angela Blocker on

October 27, 2015

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When was the last time you anticipated life would go one way but instead it took an unexpected turn? In a moment, feelings of frustration, hurt, disappointment and anger can set in. Experiencing disappointment is a part of life but knowing how to handle it can be confusing.Here are some tips to get back in the saddle again.

Express Those Emotions

Give yourself space to feel all the emotions accompanying the unmet expectation. Are you angry? Sad? Frustrated? It is normal and feeling them helps free you to make a sound decision. Emotions can easily cloud good judgment and make small situations seem larger than they are. By allowing yourself to feel the spectrum of emotion, you give yourself the freedom to see the situation more clearly—to gain perspective.

Expressing emotion is also healthy. After a disappointment, there is a greater risk of physical or emotional difficulties or a combination of the two, partly because of mishandling emotions. It can be tempting to hold these feelings inside or project them onto others. Psychologist Dr. Michael Ashroth, explains that over time, being disappointed can even lead to chronic stress problems internally and with those around you. Do yourself a favor and let it out. Try journaling! Is your energy regained through people? Talking it over with someone you know who listens well is a great way to let go.

Don’t Dwell

Disappointment may require a bit of grieving time to handle the loss of unmet expectations but don’t stay there! Wallowing keeps you stuck and prevents you from taking steps toward success. Not sure if you’re dwelling? Notice how much time and energy you spend thinking about the situation or talking about it. Choosing to think through the situation over and over with little action can increase your anxiety. Instead, go out and do something constructive or fun. It will reenergize your mind to take action! Dwelling will keep you from accomplishing your goals moving forward.

Embrace It

Remember, in every situation you get to choose how to respond. Start by accepting the situation as it is. You do not have control over another person and you may not have control over some situations but you do have choices. Make the choice to evaluate what you wanted from yourself, the situation and others. Try to see it as an opportunity for a new possibility. If this sort of disappointment has happened repeatedly, accept it and consider what could be changed to yield a different result. Seek other avenues to achieve your goals. It may be time to step out of your comfort zone and take a risk!

Disappointment is a normal part of life that everyone experiences. However, it does not have to have a negative effect. Use it as a stepping stone to achieve all you hope for!

References
Ashroth, M. (2013). Dealing with disappointment. PsychCentral. http://psychcentral.com/lib/dealing-with-disappointment/
Lybi, M. (2004). Down but not out. PsychologyToday. https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200403/down-not-out

Contributed by

Angela Blocker , M.A, LMFT Associate

Clinical Supervision by Amy Fuller, PhD, LMFT, LPC

Categories : Anxiety & Panic, Counseling, Mental Health, Self-Care Practices, Sticky, Stress Management

Tags : acceptance, disappointment, emotions, mental health, self-awareness, self-care, Self-Care Practice, stress, stress management

Feel Overwhelmed? Take a Breath

Posted by JenniferChristian on

June 11, 2014

Our world can feel frenzied. Our minds can feel preoccupied with the many responsibilities and obligations. We may even find it difficult to turn off a constant stream of racing thoughts. The more we tell our minds to stop, the more they race. The constant stream of thoughts can leave us feeling exhausted and mentally numb.

How can we begin to slow down our minds and calm ourselves in the midst of the constant list of things that need our attention? What if there is not enough time to add anything more into an already packed schedule?

Mark Williams, professor at Oxford University, suggests a short practice that takes less than five minutes, two to three times a day, as a great place to start. He created his own “Three Minute Breathing Space” as a way to calm and center ourselves even when we are tired, anxious, or stressed.

“Its impact is twofold: first and foremost, it’s a meditation that’s used to punctuate the day, so that you can more easily maintain a compassionate and mindful stance, whatever comes your way. In essence, it dissolves negative thought patterns before they gain control over your life – often before you’re even aware of them. Secondly, it’s an emergency meditation that allows you to see clearly what is arising in from moment to moment when you feel under pressure. It allows you to pause when your thoughts threaten to spiral out of control, by helping you to regain a compassionate sense of perspective and to ground yourself in the present moment.” (Williams and Penman, 2011)

A daily meditation practice is the beginning of lasting change. With each little baby step, we can create new habits and gently train our brain to respond to the stressors in our life with a compassionate and mindful response.

Practice:

Fuller Life’s Four Minute Breathing Space – (Practice Audio Below)
Two or Three times each day
Each day, notice and jot down any differences

[soundcloud url=”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/155951430″ params=”auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&visual=true” width=”100%” height=”450″ iframe=”true” /]

Williams, M. and Penman, D. (2011). Mindfulness: An Eight Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World.

Contributed by:

Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC

Categories : Breath Work, Self-Care Practices, Sticky

Tags : breath work, compassion, mindfulness practice, Self-Care Practice

The Power of Positive Emotions

Posted by JenniferChristian on

November 25, 2013

Wired for Danger

We have a natural tendency to focus on what goes wrong. Over thousands of years we have developed a built-in survival mechanism wired to detect danger. Our minds know that learning from negative experiences is a matter life or death. Our brains are like velcro for anything negative that crosses our path. This skill is important for our survival but also impacts our feelings. If focus only on negatives, we can become angry, anxious, or depressed.

On the other hand, positive or neutral experiences happen all the time each day, but have no bearing on whether we will live or die. Our brains are like teflon for the positive experiences. Something pleasant happens, it slides right off, and we continue through our day. What does this have to do with how we think, act, and feel?

Nourish the Brain

According to neuropsychologist, Rick Hanson, where we place our focus has the power to shape our brains.

If you rest your mind on self-criticism, worries, grumbling about others, hurts, and stress, then your brain will be shaped into greater reactivity, vulnerability to anxiety and depressed mood, a narrow focus on threats and losses, and inclinations toward anger, sadness and guilt. On the other hand, if you rest your mind on good events and conditions (someone was nice to you, or there’s a roof over your head), pleasant feelings, the things you do get done, physical pleasures, and your good intentions and qualities, then over time your brain will take on a different shape, one with strength and resilience hardwired into it, as well as a realistically optimistic outlook, a positive mood, and a sense of worth.

Hanson suggests that we have the power to build inner strength and resilience by focusing on positive experiences in such a way that our brains are reshaped to respond to life with more positive feelings, sense of calm, and confidence. He suggests that we literally “hold the good” for as long as 10-20 seconds each time we have a pleasant experience. In his new book, Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence, Hanson has a number of simple practices that have powerful benefits. He developed the HEAL exercise to build the positive centers of the brain and also decrease the negative charge of painful experiences, both past and present:

HEAL

“H: Have a positive experience:
- Notice a positive experience that’s already present in your awareness, such as a physical pleasure, a sense of determination, or feeling close to someone. Or create a positive experience for which you’re grateful, bring to mind a friend, or recognize a task you’ve completed. As much as you can, help ideas like these become emotionally rewarding experiences, otherwise it is merely positive thinking.
E: Enrich it:
- Stay with the positive experience for five to ten seconds or longer. Open to the feelings in it and try to sense it in your body; let it fill your mind. Enjoy it. Gently encourage the experience to be more intense. Find something fresh and novel about it. Recognize how it’s personally relevant, how it could nourish or help you, or make a difference in your life. Get those neurons really firing together, so they’ll really wire together.
Photograph by Becky EnVérité

A: Absorb it:
- Intend and sense that the experience is sinking into you as you sink into it. Let it really land in your mind. Perhaps visualize it sifting down into you like golden dust, or feel it washing you like a soothing balm. Or place it like a jewel in the treasure chest of your heart. Know that the experience is becoming part of you, a resource inside that you can take with you wherever you go.
L: Link positive and negative material (optional)
- While having a vivid and stable sense of a positive experience in the foreground of awareness, also be aware of something negative in the background. For example, when you feel included and liked these days, you could sense this experience making contact with feelings of loneliness from your past. If negative material hijacks your attention, drop it and focus only on the positive; when you feel recentered in the positive, you can let the negative also be present in awareness if you like. Whatever you want, let go of all negative material and rest only in the positive. Then, to continue uprooting the negative material, a few times over the next hour be aware of only neutral or positive material while also bringing to mind neutral things (e.g., people, situations, ideas) that have become associated with negative material.” (Hanson, 2013)

When we “hold the good,” we open our hearts to experience joy, and remind ourselves that each moment is our life.

Hanson, Rick, Ph.D. (2013). Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence.

Contributed by:

Jennifer Christian, M.A., LPC

Categories : Anger Management, Anxiety & Panic, Counseling, Depression, Gratitude, Mental Health, Parenting, Relationships, Self-Care Practices, Sticky, The Human Brain

Tags : anger management, anxiety, depression, gratitude, mental health, parenting, relationships, Self-Care Practice

Archive for Self-Care Practice

Me, Myself, and I

The Self

Self-Awareness

Gaining Self-Awareness

Picture This! How to Get What You Dream

Mindful Movement: The Cutting Edge of Exercise and Mental Health

Have you heard about Mindful Movement?

Can you just move and be mindful of it?

What mindful exercise is NOT

Maybe mindful pole dancing isn’t exactly your thing.

Add Flavor to Mindfulness with Color and Music?

The Truth on Multitasking: What Will Doing it All at Once Do to You?

Managing Disappointment

Express Those Emotions

Don’t Dwell

Embrace It

Feel Overwhelmed? Take a Breath

The Power of Positive Emotions

FULLER LIFE LOOP

4545 Bissonet, Suite 289, Bellaire, Texas 77401

FULLER LIFE WEST

10333 Harwin Drive Suite 375D Houston TX 77036

Call Us:(855) 245-5433

HIPAA-Compliant Fax: (832) 706-3842
info@ FullerLifeFamilyTherapy.org

CALL TODAY!

(855) 245-5433

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Archive for Self-Care Practice

The Self

Self-Awareness

Gaining Self-Awareness

Have you heard about Mindful Movement?

Can you just move and be mindful of it?

What mindful exercise is NOT

Maybe mindful pole dancing isn’t exactly your thing.

Express Those Emotions

Don’t Dwell

Embrace It

FULLER LIFE LOOP

4545 Bissonet, Suite 289, Bellaire, Texas 77401

FULLER LIFE WEST

10333 Harwin Drive Suite 375D Houston TX 77036

Call Us:(855) 245-5433

HIPAA-Compliant Fax: (832) 706-3842 info@ FullerLifeFamilyTherapy.org

CALL TODAY!

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Complete our confidential inquiry form:

HIPAA-Compliant Fax: (832) 706-3842
info@ FullerLifeFamilyTherapy.org