9 Reasons Happily Engaged Couples go to Premarital Counseling

young African American couplePremarital counseling is only for couples who are engaged and having trouble, right?  Wrong.

Premarital therapy is helpful for engaged couples in crisis, but it is especially  intended for healthy couples madly in love with each other.

Why should a couple that is very much in love, happily engaged and looking forward to the “big day” go to the added time and expense of premarital counseling?

  1. Every couple has blind spots. Partners think they know each other inside and out but it is common to discover substantial areas of disagreement in certain expectations. Premarital counseling is designed to illuminate those areas of agreement, disagreement, and uncertainty.
  2. The divorce rate hovers around 50% according to U.S. Census data. Nearly one of every two couples who on their wedding day could never imagine divorce don’t make it.
  3. No one comes naturally equipped as an expert communicator. Learn about communication strategies, emotional self-regulation and conflict resolution.
  4. Discover family-of-origin influences on yourself and your partner.
  5. Find a safe place to deeply investigate past failed relationships together and prepare to end undesirable patterns.
  6. If one or both partners have children, it is important to prepare for the additional role of step-parenting. Likewise, children may benefit from family counseling as they adjust to the changes as well.
  7. Get acquainted to counseling and a counselor. Gaining that familiarity will provide a resource to turn to for help when the going gets tough.
  8. The marriage relationship is unlike any other relationship one encounters previously in life. Coupled with that, many people have few real-life examples of successful marriage relationships. For many couples, television and the movies subconsciously set the expectations for a “normal” relationship. Maintaining unrealistic expectations is a sure path to disappointment. Making expectations clear and planning accordingly paves the way to contentment and joy.
  9. The cost of a wedding ceremony seems high enough, but it doesn’t compare to the emotional cost of a failed relationship on divorcees and children. On the other hand, the value and beauty of a successful relationship that is able to make it through the difficult times is immeasurable. Couples are wise to prepare for the success of the marriage just as they prepare for the wedding ceremony.

Next steps:

  • Talk with your partner about whether premarital counseling is a good investment for your relationship.
  • Talk to a counselor about starting premarital counseling.
  • Ask a counselor for book recommendations for your relationship.
  • Check the Fuller Life Family Therapy blog for more articles on creating healthy relationships. (Tip: Use the “Categories” filter on the right side of the page) 
  • Browse our online magazine on “Resilient Relationships.”

Contact us for information about our Premarital Counseling Package!

Scott Rampy, M.MFT, LMFTA

Resident Therapist at Fuller Life Family Therapy Institute



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